I agree with KingPig :) the only person who can and should write this story is you, the author, and you're doing a tremendous job. Furthermore, perhaps "reviewer controversy" isn't a bad thing, it certainly makes the strong connection readers have to your story apparent and the powerful words you weave! I think if people get emotionally involved in a story, that's only a good thing; whether or not the story fits with our individual expectations isn't important from a surface perspective, but more deeply it's the way in which the story really "moves us" that teaches us about ourselves in the reading process.I see the Gareth/Severus interactions as highly therapeutic and, ultimately, expressing a relationship that goes beyond our simple definitions of what love, friendship, and relationships mean; sometimes, things cannot be so simply defined. I think it's fairly integral for Snape to understand his sexuality and be comfortable with himself before embarking further with Hermione, and at this point, Gareth can offer a lot more mutual understanding and closeness than Hermione can, in the sense that Hermione and Snape, while friends and attracted to one another, still have a great deal to "build on," relationship wise. But I think Severus is heading in the right direction, for his personal sense of self, and it's very nice to see.Anyways, great job so far :) looking forward to more.

I feel that the McGonagal/Severus "affair" it good for Severus. He is not experienced in the relationdepartment and he is learning to let go and enjoy love, I don't find the sex the most important in their relationship but that he dares to feel love and in this relationship is not afraid of being rejected. I hope this make sense, I am not that wellexpressed in english. I love your story and as I have told you before that you take your time to tell it. Glad to see there will be 2 more updates very soon.

Goodness, I thought Severus resolved to 'forget about all this and move on' at the end of last chapter, but apparently not - understandable though - he tried the long-denied and found that he liked it. But still...it seems sort of weak (and I guess I just do not see Snape as ruled by his baser desires unless he is under a curse ^^') that he resolves that this is it, no more, it was a mistake, etc. and then not two minutes later he engages in seduction of Gareth and sex again....I was very tempted to yell at him (but then I didn't want my sister to look at me like I am crazy yelling at my laptop) and I hope Hermione does not forgive (understand) him easily for it (but in the end forgives/understands/accepts him). I agree with a couple of other reviewers and your hint (about Severus being no Seer) that Hermione will/should find out and work it out with Severus (the Gareth affair). And I simply cannot imagine her going: "Oh well, it's ok, we weren't dating for real anyway even though we established our interests in each other early on and I don't care that Gareth is my mentor/master and a friend of both of us and you two had healing/'opening up' sex. I still love you and want you!" I hope that it will take time for Hermione to comprehend all this and become ok with it and forgive/accept Severus, but I hope it won't be too easy/too quick acceptance because it won't seem real to me. Plus, the thing that annoyed me the most about this weird triangle is that as one of the reviewers mentioned there is such a close relationship with all three of the actors - both Hermione and Gareth are close friends with Severus, Hermione and Gareth live in the same house and are in a master/apprentice relationship and all three know about Snape's/Hermione's feelings for each other. I guess, it's all just left a bitter aftertaste in my mouth - too emotionaly tangled and difficult. Plus, it does seem that Hermione's needs and wants take a backseat with Gareth while as his apprentice (in addition to being a friend) she should be at the forefront in his thoughts and his responsibilties.And yes, I agree you are an author and you have full control of the story and you take it wherever you want it to go, but I just wanted to express how I felt after reading this part and my opinions that might be in the minority (not the first time either!^^*) but as a reader I feel I have to make them known. And again (I feel it was sort of a non-complimentary review - sorry!) I have to say that I love your vocab and your writing style even if I am frustrated with the story line itself!lol

Geez, these are wild oats he should have sown in his 20s!  To use another cliche, how badly can one look a gift horse in the mouth?  He's loved by a woman who values and sacrifices for him, is patient and nurturing with him, and is physically attracted to him.  And he's risking that?  WTF?  He better get it in gear.  And how is Hermione not going to find out?He's being an emotionally selfish pr*ck.  And if he can't get past this and fast, he doesn't deserve her or anyone of her ilk.But that's my not-so-humble opinion.

I don't know if I'm in the minority but I started reading this because its SH and I happen to ship SH but heh I'm rather linking GM/SS more atm. /giggleI really like this story and grumbly snapey cuddles are always awesome :)

I truly adore this chapter, and especially the one before it! Since I read the last chapter on my phone (and was unable then to review), I did read some of reviews that had been posted by other readers, and I wanted to reassure you that not all of us feel the same way that your reviewers did for the previous chapter.It is probably not the case for you, as you are a far more talented writer than I am, but I find myself changing my (epic) WIP based on the reviews I receive from readers, and I know that's the quickest way to ruin a story. Fics need to be written by the writer, for the writer, not how one would imagine their fans to prefer – and I love how you are committed to this story, and how you seem to adhere to that unspoken rule, not changing things simply because a few readers don't find that it meshes with their personal Snape. I really am not trying to upset anyone, or deem their opinons invalid – in fact, I feel that some of them raised some very good points and questions. I only mean to say, I respect how you don't allow the views of us, the readers, to sway the core of the story, or keep you from writing a scene, or chapter, or series of chapters that are so essential to the story, no matter how controversial they become.I hope I'm making sense. In short, don't change a thing in how you write, or how the fic unfolds. Also, there are many of us that truly enjoy the interactions between Gareth and Severus, and who feel that their relationship is not a hinderance to eventual SS/HG, but that it is crucial for Severus to open up and accept love and friendship before any relationship with Hermione could exist without being doomed from the start. It does seem a bit unfair that he required Hermione to promise that she would only exclusively date him, while he manages to engage in a sexual (however brief) relationship with another person – regardless of their gender. But to this, I counter, do we not all already expect Severus, based on canon evidence alone, to act a bit unfairly? Do we not love him *because* of his flaws, not 'in spite of'? No, it doesn't excuse his behavior – but in this particular story, he is already far more (convincingly!) kind and vulnerable than I personally expected, and you lay out his mistakes before us without the bias, allowing us to judge his behavior as we see fit, and I cannot compliment you enough for that. We see that Snape is stumbling and struggling through a varying stage of emotional instability, sexual experimentation and the first healthy sexual experiences of his life thus far – for all intents and purposes, he is going through puberty, through adolescence, at an age which many people have already lost touch with the thrill and excitement and enthusiasm they experienced as teenagers. The slash works perfectly well, in my opinon, in this story, and reveals a new facet in Snape's character that gives him that extra dimension of realistic humanity. *pants* Okay, I'll shut up now and take my ADHD meds, and apologize profusely for the rambling and babbling above. I love your story, please don't change anything based on my or any other readers opinions, and update soon, please!!!

Like many others, I am a HG/SS all the way.  I can see why some are upset by this encounter, but, I am leaning toward Gareth being almost like a sex therapist here . I think Gareth is mature enough to handle this, Severus is a mess, who wouldn't be with no healthy love or sexual relationships to guide him.  I hope Gareth will just be his guide and open a pathway for him so he won't ultimately blow it with Hermione.  

I know Gareth is very confident, and that he understands Severus's confusion as well, but Severus's confession still had to hurt. Sex with someone whom you care about is terribly intimate, and it's difficult to distance your feelings from the physical act. To be told that that your partner regrets it immediately afterward, and the hint that his mind might not have even been with you, well. That's got to hurt.That Severus trusts Gareth enough to talk about his feelings and motivations is pretty amazing. And even more so that he is worried about the state of their friendship and Gareth's feelings, rather than reacting to this new development and his own vulnerability by trying to deliberately hurt Gareth and push him away. He really is becoming a new person.Great chapter. I generally don't read explicit slash, but as usual, your story is about much more than just the action.

Oh goodness....you know when I read that chapter with Gareth washing Severus and putting oil on his back and all that stuff, I know you said that it was nothing sexual or whatever but I got a feeling that there will be something sexual later and then I haven't been keeping up with the story even though it is in my faves list and today I finally caught up with all the latest updates and BOOM! slash - my fears were confirmed. I didn't/don't see the sexual intimacy as a natural progression of Severus' and Gareth's friendship simply because Severus IS so messed up still (in a "long-suffering spy with a dark past just healing after the war and various injuries" way) and it's like you paint him himself (Severus) as torn up by these feelings he has for Hermione and wanting sexual gratification immediately and all that. And for me, what sort of disgusted me actually (sorry if I offend you) is that it DOES really seem like he just got carried away with Gareth and with his own burgeoning libido..it was sort of like usage when he had sex with Gareth while REALLY he wants Hermione....If you know what I mean, I kind of felt like Severus at the end of the chapter, slightly sick and strange. Yeah, it was erotic in a certain way, but it was kind of wrong and weird. And it did feel like Severus was cheating on Hermione - he has his heart set on her, he thinks he's falling for her, he's jealous of her, he kissed her, he asked her about Tarrant and he asked her not to date anybody and then he goes and has sex with Gareth. However he or Gareth or anybody else might try to excuse it - healing, nurturing, re-introducing human touch, etc. - it was still cheating (he is starting to date Hermione, he loves her and he wants her and he wants exclusivity from her, at least) and it was still sexual. The healing, human touch, warmth, etc. does not have to be sexual or erotic, it could stay a simple message, a hug, a deep conversation and not become something sexual and erotic. I am sorry but after the last couple of chapters I really felt bad for Hermione entering into relationship with Severus and at the same time felt bad for Severus that he was so confused and torn and hated himself for these feelings and urges but at the same time couldn't help himself...And Gareth....I don't know, I have very mixed feelings about him now..I guess, I was so dead set and expectant of Severus/Hermione relationship that this new development is quite unwelcome and threw me off, it is def. complicating things. Oh, and I expect I wanted Hermione's intimate touch to be healing and comforting and all that you made Gareth's touch to be.Sorry for the long review, but I had strong feelings/issues with these chapters and particularly Severus' character development and thought to express them. Hope you are not too offended!^^* I still love your writing style and this story in general and I understand that you're an author and I am the reader who just visits your universe, but as I rant at real life I reserve a right to rant at your universe, too!lol

im sorry, but that was hot.  i wish it could have ended a little less sad but at least they both seem to understand each other. :)

hmmm a bicurious snape.    kinda hot.  but dont worry.  im all about the HG/SS :D

I'm not sure how I feel about the slash.  I'm so set on Severus with Hermione I guess I was thrown for a loop.  I look forward to the next chapter.

I'm hoping that Gareth helps Severus become more emotionally aware and physically responsive.  Surely if Severus is more comfortable in his own skin he will be more comfortable with other intimacies with Hermione.

Poor Hermione...I think she just lost Severus before she even had him...I'm not into slash...at all...but the scene does kinda explain the appeal to some...very erotic but, so sad....I don't think Hermione would want to share Severus with Gareth if she knew...You're a great writer...Bravo.

I can't decide if Gareth is a saint, or the type of guy who puts very little value on sexual intimacy.  He obviously wants Severus to be able to experience intimacy, but why isn't it more personal for him?? It seems that Gareth really believes that it is something that you can achieve with anyone you like, not something that is special and truly "intimate". Why doesn't it bother him that he was being used, even if Severus is naive enough to not realize what he was doing.  Or is he truly sacrificing a bit if himself to help Severus develop confidence? Or is he manipulating Severus?... no, he is a good friend, that can't be it.  This relationship stumps me. I just can't wrap my mind around it. 

WHEW ... wipes the steam off my computer screen so I can see ...THAT WAS HOT! HOT HOT HOT!Gareth is really taking excellent care of Severus and I do believe Severus is enjoying every minute of it. LOL. I'm really glad you went ahead and wrote the lemony bits between Gareth and Snape. I htink they've turned out incredibly erotic and very moving!Too bad I can only give this chapter five stars ...

Sorry it's taken me so long to review this chapter. I've been a busy little bee this weekend.However, I have to say it's another wonderful chapter. The developing friendship between Severus and Gareth is intriguing and getting VERY WARM!!! There's something about the way their story is written that makes it so plausible and even though Severus went out on a date with Hermione, I'm hoping he won't end up with her. Not that I want him with Gareth, necessarily, but I think he and Hermione aren't well suited for each other.Anyway, I'm still loving the story!!!

Well, that was interesting.  Cool.  Look forward to more.

Author's Response: Thanks! Glad you liked it. :-)

I am definitely pulling for Severus and Hermione to end up together.  However, I see nothing wrong with Severus trying to make sure of himself especially since Gareth seems to recognize the hard time that Severus is experiencing and is willing to be there for him and ease him through this conflict.  Severus is so unused to being touched for anything other than pain.  I am not shocked that even the easy touch of a massage given by a man would turn him on so.  Desire for loving touch is not the same as desire for a person.  Think back to his reaction with Poppy.  She massaged him and he broke down.  I hope that things are finally resolved and he and Gareth remain great friends.  Not to mention, the scenes between Gareth and Severus are so sensual that it makes me lose my breath! As soon as I have read a chapter I start getting antsy for the next one!!  Hurry and update!!

I am one of those people who would love to see Gareth and Severus as a couple.  However, since you are not going that way, he is the perfect person to re-introduce Severus to his own body, his own sensuality.  He is kind and caring far beyond what their first meeting would have suggested.  I will be very interested in seeing how you resolve these relationships.

More wonderful Snape confusion.  Gareth is a fascinating character.  I don't want him to be more than a friend to Snape but I like his unexpected ideas about how to help Snape.  I think he's quite right.  I think people get caught up in labels and rigid ideas about what's right and what's human and Gareth is teaching Snape to trust and he doesn't care about what anyone else thinks.  It's very cool of him.

What a place to stop. Another evil cliffie! How could anyone resist a hungry Severus? It's good that Gareth is so flexible in his sexuality, and understanding and generous in his friendship. I would worry more about him being hurt by this new development, but I suppose they've both been sufficiently clear about what they want and their expectations that it might strengthen their friendship instead. You're sneak peek at the next few chapters has me full of happy anticipation. I can't wait for the next chapter.

Having never had a healthy sexual relationship before, it's understandable that Severus is confused and uncertain even of his own motivations. I wonder if his determination that he should disclose all his misdeeds to Hermione just another means of self-destruction?

he is a little dark and twisted isnt he?  and hes inviting gareth to meet him alone?  im kinda worried about whats going to happen. :/  is severus attracted to him, or just to his touch?

 Severus is growing emotionally.  I loved how Hermione ribbed him about their third date.