Chapter Fifty-One: Just a Fling?

Author's Note: Rated for sexually explicit language and some sexual imagery at the end of the chapter.

Chapter Fifty-One: Just a Fling?

Sunday, 14 March 1999

Poppy went up to her rooms and made herself a cup of dandelion and lemon balm tea, bringing it into the bedroom with her. She set it on her dressing table, where she sat and took her hair down. She sipped her tea and brushed her hair out. The image that looked out of the mirror at her was unremarkable, she thought. Light blondish-brown hair, greyish-blue wide-set eyes, fair skin, straight nose, high cheekbones. She had always believed her chin to be too pointy, but with years, she no longer cared about that. She had the beginnings of fine laugh lines at the corners of her eyes and mouth. Pretty enough, she supposed, but no beauty, never a beauty.

Now Minerva, with her bright eyes that looked different in different lights, ranging from hazel to deep green with darker circles around the irises, her long, thick, dark eyelashes, and her black hair, now with a little silver running through it after the stresses of the final years of the war, she was beautiful, and she carried herself with grace, the grace of a confident cat. Poppy knew that she simply walked when she walked, propelling herself along. She had a certain amount of energy and vitality, of course, no plodder, she, but she had recognised long ago that she would never be graceful and elegant.

She had never been terribly displeased with her appearance, though, nor had she been vain about it, and unlike so many witches she knew, she didn't really think there was anything she would change about her body. Oh, perhaps it might be nice to be a little bit taller, to have slightly longer, slimmer legs, but when she looked at herself naked in the mirror, the overall impression pleased her, and she knew that there were wizards who had certainly found her figure more than pleasing. She was round in the buttocks and breasts, with wide hips but a well-defined waist and fairly slim build. She took good care of herself, and even in middle age, she was fit enough. Still, she was no energetic, brilliant, fresh-faced, soft-skinned nineteen-year-old Gryffindor who had snatched Severus from the jaws of death, who had actually breathed for him.

With a sigh, Poppy stood and began to undress. As she removed her shift, she spied a single mark on one of her breasts where Severus had apparently kissed her a bit vigorously, just leaving a slight bruise. She pressed it, but it didn't hurt, so she left it alone. She went into her bathroom and washed, then brushed her teeth, wondering whether Severus was in bed yet. She had to admit to herself that she had liked sleeping with him and waking up next to him, though his bedroom was not particularly aesthetically pleasing. She was a Hufflepuff; her dormitory had been underground, as well, in a different part of the upper dungeons, but she didn't remember them being as closed-in feeling as Severus's rooms. If it weren't for the Charmed window that Albus had put in, which gave Severus a reflected view out over the lake, it would feel almost like a prison cell with slightly better furnishings and a bit more space. The walls were even dark grey. Perhaps that was what he wanted. What he had wanted. He had simply never thought to change it.

Poppy pulled on a light nightdress and curled up in bed. She wished she had just gone down with him, that she hadn't thought about it. But it was best that she hadn't. Her affections were too stirred up. They were still only colleagues. It had probably been a bad idea to agree that they should not try so hard to avoid temptation. Not that they had been succeeding very well, anyway. It was really only acknowledging reality. But when he had said her name and kissed her, then embraced her so sweetly, she had felt from him something that she knew he hadn't meant to give. Poppy remembered Minerva's words, her reminder that Severus was not used to being in relationships, that he went to extremes. He didn't mean to make her feel loved, and despite his ecstatic declaration when they had made love in her bedroom, he certainly didn't love her, except perhaps in a very general sort of way. And that was why she had to be so careful. She couldn't allow herself to believe for a minute that this was anything more than a fling for him, a fling until he decided to date Hermione or some other witch. She could still enjoy it, though. Just not too much.

In the morning, Poppy awoke with a headache, which she thought ironic, given that the day before, she hadn't, despite having drunk so much at the party. She showered and dressed, and when her headache was still with her, she took a dose of Headache Potion before going down to breakfast. She was half finished with her breakfast when Severus arrived and made his way to his place between Minerva and Vector.

Severus sat down and immediately turned over his coffee cup. Vector was a good one to sit beside. She never bothered him with idle chit-chat...or unwanted games of footsie. He was glad that Albus was again sitting in his correct chair, otherwise coming in late as he had might have forced him to sit next to someone less pleasantly uninterested in conversation.

Severus took a sip of coffee to help begin clearing the few cobwebs from his brain, then Summoned the platter of eggs and began to serve himself.

"Perhaps you might enjoy some steak tartare instead," Vector suggested drily.

Severus looked at her with a raised eyebrow and reached for the sausages.

"Or perhaps some blood pudding? Oh, sorry, you like your blood uncooked," she said with a smirk.

Severus pushed a few slices of square sausage and some grilled tomatoes onto his plate, then he looked at Vector and added some blood pudding.

"Why ever did you say such things to Sarah?" Vector asked.

Severus opened his mouth to reply, but then he put a forkful of eggs in his mouth instead. It was only slightly embarrassing to him that Duffy had tried to play footsie with him; it would be very embarrassing to her, particularly the fact that she had had the poor judgment to try it with him. In the Great Hall. With students present. He chewed and swallowed. She had already paid for her misjudgment, and they did have to work together. He was Deputy Headmaster. Noblesse oblige, or something of the sort.

"I was feeling whimsical," Severus said shortly.

Vector barked a short laugh. "You will need to work on your sense of whimsy, Severus."

Fortunately, she proceeded to eat and ignore him, just as he preferred it. He had been a little late to breakfast because he had sent an owl to Arthur Weasley asking to meet with him some time in the next day or two. He hadn't been at all specific, not even mentioning his daughter's name, but Severus hoped that had conveyed a sense of some urgency without alarming the other wizard.

Severus glanced over at the Gryffindor table. Ginny was there, sitting with a few other girls in her year. She was just eating and nodding as the other girls were talking. He wondered if she was even listening to the conversation or whether she had honed her ability to appear to be engaged in the conversation without paying any attention to it. She used to be talkative and vibrant, and her personality seemed to have undergone a dampening, as though all the colour and light had gradually been drained from her.

The Easter holiday would be coming up in a couple of weeks. He would suggest to Arthur that he bring Ginny home a few days early, take an extra week with her. When she returned after the Easter holiday, Severus hoped that he and Poppy would have the counselling programme ready to launch. It would mean speaking to the staff very soon about volunteering their services and finding a professional to whom they could speak, themselves. Poppy maintained good relations with St. Mungo's. She probably could come up with someone competent in the time allotted.

Severus turned his empty coffee cup upside down then right side up, and it refilled. He watched Poppy, dressed that day in deep blue robes with an under-robe of paler, silvery blue, stop at the Gryffindor table on her way out of the Great Hall. She smiled and talked with Ginny and the girls she was sitting with, giving Ginny a pat on her shoulder. Severus's expression softened as he watched her. Poppy was so warm and kind, so beautiful; Severus averted his gaze, afraid he would be seen staring after her as she left.

After finishing his coffee, Severus left the Great Hall and went up to the Hospital Wing. The doors to the infirmary were unwarded, so he assumed that Poppy was in her office. He walked across to her office, whose door was open, but she wasn't there. He stepped back out to see Poppy crossing the open ward from one of the private rooms at the end. She smiled when she saw him.

"Good morning, Severus! Ready for our meeting?"

"Yes, I have given it more thought, as well," Severus replied as they entered her office.

Two hours later, they had a rough timetable, lists of names of Healers and others who might be able to help, and a preliminary plan outlined. Poppy stretched.

"I think that is enough work for a Sunday, what do you think, Severus?" she asked.

"I have a few other things I should do today, but nothing urgent."

"Lunch isn't for another hour. Would you like to have a cup of tea with me?"

Severus nodded and followed her to her quarters, waiting as she activated the wards on the infirmary doors. As Poppy fixed their tea, Severus sat on the couch, remembering how they had had tea there less than a week before. It was difficult to believe that at this time the previous Sunday, he had had his first date with Hermione and was looking forward to their second, Gareth had given him a sensual, erotic massage but had not yet had sex with him, and he had not even considered that Poppy might be a sexually attractive witch, let alone touched her intimately. Now, he had had sex with Gareth, something he would have considered a complete impossibility, he was in the midst of a passionate fling with Poppy, and his second date with Hermione had been over before it started.

He stood as Poppy entered with the tea tray.

"Sit down, relax," Poppy said, smiling.

Severus nodded and watched as Poppy fixed their tea, this time, not hiding his attention to her cleavage as she bent over slightly to pour. Poppy handed him his cup.

His expression softened to a near-smile, he thanked her.

"You're welcome."

As she watched Severus silently drink his tea, Poppy wondered whether having tea with him was a good idea. It was only tea, but it wasn't work and it wasn't sex. But she had other colleagues in for tea. Severus was simply becoming more sociable. They were interacting as colleagues, she reminded herself.

"You look pensive," Poppy said as he set down his teacup.

Severus twitched one shoulder slightly. "I was thinking of how much things have changed in the last several months, and how very much they have changed in the last week." He looked over at her, seeming to memorise her features. "And so much for the better. Thank you for inviting me in for tea on Monday, and thank you for not laughing at my poor attempt at flirtation or slapping me when I kissed you at the door." He reached out and caressed her cheek. "And I am grateful for this week and the time we have spent together."

Poppy felt an increasing sense of worry as he thanked her. Severus was not known for effusive gratitude. Was he about to say that they shouldn't see each other any longer? That was probably the wise thing to do, but she didn't want to do the wise thing.

"But?" Poppy asked, her voice a hoarse whisper.

Severus looked puzzled. "But? I don't understand."

"I just thought you were going to qualify it all," Poppy said, reaching for her teacup.

Severus shook his head. "No. I wasn't."

"Good. And you are welcome, but I have enjoyed it too." She smiled at him and took his hand. "It's been very good for me. I am grateful, too. It's meant a lot to me. I know that you trust me and you have done things with me, shared things with me, things that you haven't shared with anyone else before, and that we..."

"Poppy, oh, Poppy . . ." Severus leaned forward and stopped her words with a kiss. "I want to make love to you," he said huskily.

Poppy responded to his kisses, but then she gently disengaged from him. "I think we should get ready to go down to lunch. We, um, we just had sex last night, and the night before that. You don't need to feel that every time we are alone together, we have to have sex."

Severus looked down, his hands folded in front of him, his hair a curtain hiding his face.

"Severus? Talk to me. Don't just close down like that," Poppy said.

"I'm not. I should leave."

"No, you don't have to. Unless you want to."

"I shouldn't impose upon you," he said, standing.

"Severus...you misunderstand me!" Poppy stood and took his arm, trying to see his face. "I don't want you to leave. Please."

Severus looked down at her and nodded. "I just wanted to be close you," he whispered. It was hard, this wanting her, this needing her so much.

"Come here, then, sit with me," Poppy said, pulling gently on his arm, "because I would like that too."

Severus sat down on the couch, and Poppy curled up beside him, her head resting on his shoulder. Severus sighed slightly and put his arms around her, then he kissed the top of her head. Poppy's hand rested on his chest, and she closed her eyes. A few minutes later, Severus nuzzled her hair and held her a little closer.

"This is nice," Poppy said, thinking that she shouldn't enjoy it so much, but she did.

"It is. Very," Severus whispered. "I still want to make love to you, but later. I wished you had stayed with me last night. I like lying next to you in bed, so close, and waking up with you there. I feel I shouldn't admit it, but it is true. It is as good as the sex...different, but still very good."

Poppy nodded. It was very good, but it would give them an unwarranted sense of closeness. One of them would be hurt, and it would likely be she, if they continued to give in to this desire for intimacy. It was just a fling. Severus didn't really know what he was doing. He had been so emotionally and tactilely deprived for so long, he was like a man who had finally found an oasis after being lost in the desert. He would realise at some point that she was not the only source for the kind of sex and closeness he felt with her, and that he could experience the same, only better, with someone he could fall in love with. She would not kid herself that she could be that person. Nonetheless, she did not move from his embrace.

Just as they were getting up to go down to lunch, an owl came and banged on her sitting room windows. Poppy opened them to it, and it flew over to Severus. Poppy fetched some owl treats.

"That's Wol, Gareth's owl, isn't it?" she asked.

"I don't know. I suppose so." Until recently, he'd only occasionally had an owl from Gareth, and Gareth had always used the school owls with his return messages when Severus had owled him first. One Horned Owl looked much like any other to him.

"A letter from Hermione?" Poppy asked, trying to sound as though she were only vaguely interested in it.

"No," Severus said, looking at the envelope. "I believe it is from McGonagall."

Poppy nodded, smiling. "He's a good lad." She looked at the envelope. "If you would like to read it now, I need to freshen up before going downstairs."

Severus nodded and waited until she had left the room to slit open the envelope. He was fairly certain that McGonagall would not send anything indiscreet via an owl, but he had offered to owl him the sex spell, so Severus was not going to take any risks.

The note was brief, though not as brief as his others. Apparently he was feeling hemmed in and he wanted to know if Severus would be free to meet for a drink later that day...sooner, rather than later. He suggested the Three Broomsticks.

Poppy came out of the loo. "So, ready to go?"

Severus nodded, slipping the letter into his pocket.

"How is Gareth?" Poppy asked as they left.

"Bored, apparently. Stir-crazy. He wants to meet for a drink later."

"Oh, I shouldn't have let Wol return without your reply!"

"I haven't decided whether to go or not." He looked down at her. "I assume you have better things to do with your Sunday afternoon," he said softly, "but I had hoped we could spend some of it together."

"We still could even if you meet Gareth for a drink."

Severus nodded. "I shall consider that."

They entered the Great Hall, and Severus went to his place and Poppy went to hers. Lunch on Sundays was always a big meal at Hogwarts, and Severus helped himself to slices of beef and both mashed potatoes and Yorkshire pudding, feeling rather greedy as he poured gravy over it all, then, thinking of his health, he added a spoonful of peas and another of carrots.

Minerva smiled at him. "You have a hearty appetite today," she observed.

"Mm," Severus said, his mouth full of mashed potatoes.

"Having a little potatoes with your gravy?" she asked with a laugh.

Severus cut into the puffy pudding, ignoring Minerva. She always ate at least two helpings of Yorkshire pudding every time it was served, so she shouldn't talk.

He supposed he could meet McGonagall for a drink at the Three Broomsticks. He didn't really want to. McGonagall must have other friends he could meet for a drink. That Tarrant was one of them...Hermione had met him through Gareth.

He could ask Poppy to go with him, Severus thought, but that could be awkward, and Poppy probably wouldn't want to go anyway. And it might be a bit too much like a date, he supposed. He could have McGonagall come up to the castle. They could have a quick drink in his rooms, and then he could get him to leave when it was dinnertime.

Severus ate everything on his plate, nodded to Minerva, then he stood and walked down to see Poppy.

Bending close to her, he said softly, "I am going to invite Gareth up here to have a drink."

Poppy nodded. "Give him my best."

"If you would like to see him, you could join us."

"No, you two have your drink. I think he probably wants a wizard's company right now. I'll write up a memo for Minerva on our meeting this morning. Let me know if you hear anything from Arthur, though, and if you would like me to meet with both of you."

Severus nodded, and then, feeling as though he should have said or done something else, he left the Great Hall. The only thing he could think that he could have done was kiss her, and that was very clearly not appropriate, even if they were more than just whatever it was they were. Albus and Minerva were now openly married, yet they still were very restrained and respectable in front of the students, although Albus had kissed her under the mistletoe in the Great Hall that Christmas, causing those students present to goggle...those who hadn't turned away in embarrassment. It had been a fairly lingering kiss, too, though not overly passionate, given the audience.

Severus walked down to his office to compose a note to Gareth, imagining that it was Christmas, and there was mistletoe hanging in the Great Hall. Everyone was present, the entire school, and he and Poppy would pass under the mistletoe. Everyone would be watching, waiting for the great git to kiss the poor, staid Hogwarts matron, assuming that they would both hate it, that it would be a quick, necessary peck on the lips, but instead, he would bend his head toward her and kiss her lips gently, then she would put her arms around his neck, not letting him go. His kiss would grow more sensual, and Poppy would lick his lips, they would open their mouths and deepen the kiss as he put his arms around her, one hand on her buttocks, pulling her close against him. She would moan and grind against him, and when they finally stepped out from under the mistletoe, the wizards would all be envious of him and the witches would all see him in a new light and wish they had been the witch under the mistletoe, but to ensure that didn't happen, he would blast the mistletoe away. Then he and Poppy would proceed to the staff table as though nothing at all were different.

He felt quite smug by the time he sat down to write his note to Gareth. He told him to come up at any time that afternoon; he would be in his quarters. If he wanted to drink anything other than brandy, firewhisky, or some house-elf-provided butterbeer, he should bring it with him. Not the most elegant invitation in the world, Severus thought as he owled it, but it was not meant to be elegant.

Back down in his rooms, sitting in his favourite chair, Severus remembered the spell that Gareth had given him. He hadn't had any time to practise it. He got up and went into his bedroom, where he opened the wooden box in which he kept his cufflinks and what other few pieces of jewellery he possessed, lifted the false bottom and removed the parchment with the spell. Not particularly secure, but secure enough now that he wasn't a spy.

Severus brought the spell back out to the sitting room with him, rereading it, then whispering the incantation. Cacumen apsterrere emicatus. Should be easy enough. Gareth had cast it nonverbally. He certainly could.

Severus sat in his chair, spread his legs, unbuttoned his frockcoat and then his trousers, and pulled out his penis. He closed his eyes and began to think about Poppy. Sucking her breasts. Sometimes he wished he could suck them both at once. Having her bind him and ride his cock. His cock in her hot, juicy cunt, pounding into her against the wall in the corridor. Having everyone seeing them fucking, how she screamed his name in ecstasy as she came, all of them turned on, knowing what a sexy fuck she was and that she was his to fuck.

Gods, he was about to come, and he had almost forgotten about the spell. He opened his eyes and blinked, trying to focus, then, his hand around his cock, he cast the spell. He felt his penis tingle, and the tingling seemed to go into his balls. It didn't feel precisely as it had when Gareth had done it, but Severus decided to see what the result was, first picking up the parchment and looking at it for the instructions on how to release it. Finite apsterrere. That was straightforward enough.

Severus closed his eyes once more and began to stroke his erection again. He thought of Poppy, Poppy needing him desperately, so desperately that she would come down to his classroom whilst he was in the middle of teaching, saying that she had an emergency that only he could help her with. He would dismiss the class, but before they had even left, she would come up to him and start unbuttoning his trousers, saying that she needed his huge cock in her, that she had to have him, she couldn't wait. He would oblige her by pushing her back onto his desk, exposing her sweet pussy, and then he would kneel down and begin to prepare her for his cock by licking her clit. She would scream and beg him for more and he would stand and thrust his cock into her, pumping and pumping until he came. She would come over and over again, and he would keep fucking her.

Severus came with a grunt. To his disappointment, he ejaculated. Not very much, just a weak little spurt, but it still wasn't a dry orgasm, and his erection began to fade. Shit. It hadn't even been a very satisfactory orgasm.

In the bathroom, washing his hands, he heard someone at his door. It was just as well it hadn't worked, or he'd still be masturbating. Sighing, he dried his hands and went out to answer the door.

NEXT

Chapter Fifty-Two: Technique

Sunday, 14 March 1999

Severus masters an esoteric spell.

Rated MA. (A mild MA.)

Characters: Severus Snape, Gareth McGonagall