Chapter Nine: A Delicate Phase

Chapter Nine: A Delicate Phase

Monday, 31 August 1998

Severus sat on the edge of his bed, hunched over. He'd made it back from the infirmary, where, under the watchful eye of Poppy, he'd taken both the Nagini potion and his morning dose of Ferron's Elixir. She had cast diagnostics before and after each potion, and after he had swallowed the Ferron's Elixir, her brow had furrowed slightly at what she saw.

"You're still within normal parameters, Severus," she announced, "but I'm glad that Melina will be by to see you this afternoon and check you out. Your deep-core readings are right on the edge, and I'd like her to double-check them. I'm going to see if she can get here earlier, in fact."

Severus swallowed and nodded. The nausea was much better, but still not completely gone, and yet it seemed that the headache was worse. He certainly felt enervated, more so each time he took the potions, and this morning was particularly bad. He decided to concentrate on the fact that the nausea had improved. He'd never be very good at looking at the "bright side," but, as Hermione was always encouraging him, he could try.

He'd received a note from Hermione the evening before; she'd regretted that he hadn't been able to come to lunch at the Three Broomsticks, but she hoped she would be able to see him soon. She asked if she could visit, and somewhat impulsively, he had written back immediately and invited her to come up in the morning.

So now Severus was sitting on the edge of his bed, willing the Headache Potion to ease more than just his headache, and hoping that he would feel at least somewhat better before Hermione arrived. She'd seen him much sicker...near death, in fact...but he hated to have her think of him as Severus-the-invalid. He didn't mind that she cared about him, but he wished that she could care about him when he was well, and that it didn't seem that he was sick all of the time.

"Twiskett!" He might feel better if he ate something.

Twiskett arrived with a light crack.

"I'd like some breakfast, please. Just toast and tea."

Twiskett nodded, waited a moment to see whether further instructions would be forthcoming, and when none were, he departed almost silently, for which Severus was grateful.

Severus lay back on the bed and closed his eyes. Hermione wouldn't be here for at least another few hours. He would have some breakfast, then a nap, then a shower. Damn. He couldn't nap. There was a staff meeting in less than an hour. The shower would have to do. If the meeting didn't go too long, he might be able to take a short nap after that.

Twiskett returned with his breakfast, which included an unasked-for soft-cooked egg, and Severus began the chore of feeding himself. Perhaps when he saw Melina, she would be able to do something for how tired and weakened he felt. He couldn't imagine trying to teach. And the Sorting was that evening. He would have to stay awake for the Welcome Feast.

After finishing his breakfast, Severus forced himself to his feet and went to get ready for the staff meeting, beginning with a shower and a shave. He was glad he had never become accustomed to using a shaving charm, or even a Charmed razor, since at least most of his morning routine was undisturbed by his new magic-free regimen. The light in his bathroom came on as soon as he opened the door...a handy charm that Minerva had cast for him even before he'd returned from his outing with Gareth on Friday. Severus liked it so well, he thought he would keep it even after he was recovered and was using magic again.

He dressed carefully, his hair still damp from only being towel-dried. If it wasn't dry before he had to leave for the meeting, he'd have to call Twiskett to do it for him. Considering how little he normally used his house-elf, he was certainly making up for it now, Severus thought with a sigh. As much as he disliked his current dependent state, however, he had to admit to himself that it was nice to know that even now that he wasn't the Order's spy, people still were willing to help him and take care of him. Minerva, Poppy, Hagrid, and even Albus, had all been very helpful. Twiskett might take care of him because it was his job, or even Poppy...although she did go out of her way to try to make it the least unpleasant as she was able...but much of what Minerva, Albus, and Hagrid had done for him went well beyond the requirements of colleagues or employer.

His hair was only slightly damp at eight forty-five, so Severus decided to forego calling Twiskett to dry it. He shrugged on a teaching robe, but left it open, then extinguished the candles and left his suite. Force of will combined with force of habit brought him to his office, where he murmured his three-word pass-phrase, turned the large key in the lock, and opened his door. The pass-phrase rotated among four different nonsense, multilingual phrases, so even if someone overheard him and could catch each of the non-English words, they would be unlikely to be successful with it unless he had already opened his office door three more times in the interim. They had chosen unrelated French, German, and Italian words, ones easy enough for Severus to recall and repeat correctly, but difficult for the casual bystander to catch and remember... particularly if that bystander were a student. Not perfect, but better than just the key alone.

Minerva had also placed a portrait on his office door, the one that had guarded her own quarters for decades and had been moved up to the Headmistress's sitting room as soon as she had taken the new suite. Albus assured Severus that the portrait was an even better door warden than most, and that even in the unlikely event that some other person had the correct pass-phrase, the Silent Knight would be cautious about allowing them entrance. The Knight had then removed his helmet and bowed to him, assuring Severus that he would do his utmost to keep out anyone who did not have a legitimate reason for entering the office. Severus was struck by how very like Lucius Malfoy the portrait appeared, despite the Knight's age...he appeared to be a Muggle of about seventy...yet how different, as well. His expression was open, his bright blue eyes, kind, and his smile, warm; he seemed as alive as any portrait Severus had ever seen. Remarkable for a wizarding painting of such apparent antiquity.

"I will keep your domain safe, Professor," the Knight had said softly. "I'll not leave this frame for any reason, even if it means my . . . my destruction. I have pledged it to my lady."

Severus had found the portrait peculiar, but if Minerva assured him that with or without passwords, the Silent Knight would ward his door securely, he believed her. She had had the portrait for decades, after all, and had taken the unusual step of bringing it with her when she moved into the Headmistress's suite. And other than the initial greetings they had exchanged when Albus had set the password charm, the portrait did, indeed, remain silent, which suited Severus well.

Severus gathered up the parchments he would need for the meeting, and as he bent to pick one up from where it had drifted to the floor, a wave of dizziness and tingling rushed over him. He straightened slowly and lowered himself into his desk chair, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. It took a few moments, but the light-headedness passed, though he still felt a slight tingling in his hands. He clenched his teeth, as much in anger as in determination, and stood.

He'd been under worse pressure and in worse circumstances. He was not going to let a little wizarding illness and a few potions side-effects keep him from doing his job. The students would be arriving that evening, and he was not going to have his first duties of the new school year delegated to Flitwick. He would take care of the new staff members that morning and the new students that evening. The Sorting, after all, required no magic and little stamina. He merely had to stand there, call out the students' names, and place the bloody Sorting Hat on their heads. He would not let the Dark Lord get the upper hand now, not when the wizard was dead and burned. He'd take the potions and finally recover fully from Nagini's last bite.

He stepped into the hall and locked the door behind him, exchanging silent nods with the portrait, then strode down the hall towards the stairs that would bring him to the ground floor corridor nearest the staff room. And perhaps some of the lassitude he had felt over the last few months would disappear with the final traces of Nagini's venom. With that thought, Severus picked up his pace.

Severus scribbled a note on the parchment in his hand. He was beginning to weary of standing, but Laura Walker Manning had approached him just as he had pushed away from the staff table, and they'd gone over beside the fireplace, out of the way of the other staff members, who were still milling about. He considered sitting in the large, worn wingback chair just a few feet away, but dismissed the idea as soon as it occurred to him. Manning was a relatively petite witch, but Severus still appreciated the advantage his height gave him, an advantage he would lose if he were to sit. Besides, it seemed that everyone had been informed, however discreetly, of his illness, and he did not want to appear in any way "delicate."

"I understand that it may be a few days before it can be attended to...or longer," Laura added hastily, clearly not wishing to seem to be making demands, "but I thought I'd ask about it now before we both become more busy once the students arrive."

"It is, as you note, not of the highest priority, but I will speak with the Headmistress about it. It is she who would create the internal Floo connections you are suggesting. I have no objection to those for your and Professor Manning's use, and I doubt that the Headmistress would, either. In theory, the others might be useful, as well." Severus frowned, as much from the strain of standing as from displeasure. "However, the prospect of the students simply Flooing about the castle . . . I understand your rationale, but I am not sanguine about the likelihood of connections between the House common rooms and the library, even during the limited hours that you suggest."

"I would appreciate your bringing the idea to her attention, though, Professor," Laura said. "I know there are many arguments against it, but I thought it an idea worth considering, at least. Some of the books can be quite heavy, and the common rooms are all quite a distance from the library. Slytherin's the furthest, I believe. It would save the students some precious study time, particularly just before curfew."

"Mm. The exercise is good for the..." Severus caught himself before he used one of his usual epithets. "The students are used to the exercise, and they have never had access to the internal Floo network." He disliked the idea, himself, but he wanted to avoid alienating the new staff too soon, so he did not express this opinion, and he would naturally inform Minerva of the hare-brained notion. "The Headmistress, of course, has the final say in such matters."

"Of course." Laura smiled up at him, her hazel eyes bright. "Thank you for your help with all this, Professor. David and I have had quite a transition in our lives in a very few days...moving from a four-bedroom house in Bournemouth to just a few rooms here, well, we're both excited about it all, but it's quite a change."

"If you have any other . . . problems, bring them to me," Severus said awkwardly, knowing he sounded less than inviting, but it was better than telling the woman that he was just doing his job, he thought. "And, er, thank you for your assistance with the Prophet articles the other day."

Laura shrugged and grinned. "I think you helped me more than I helped you, to be honest. Not to speak ill of my predecessor, but Madam Pince's notions of organisation were evidently not intended to assist anyone in finding anything. More a system of obfuscation than of organisation."

Severus tried to give an appreciative smirk. "I am certain that it worked for her for many years," he said ambiguously. He shifted his weight discreetly. He really needed to sit down.

"Well, I don't want to take any more of your time, Professor." She looked over her shoulder. "I see I'm not the only one who wants to speak with you."

Severus barely restrained a grimace, but when he saw who it was, he let out a slight sigh of relief. Filius. It might be seen as a polite gesture if he sat down rather than towering over the older Head of Ravenclaw. He blinked, taken aback when Laura bent and quickly kissed the Charms teacher on the cheek. Hogwarts staff simply did not go about offering gestures of affection in public, and certainly not in a staff meeting...even if the staff meeting had ended fifteen minutes before and there were fewer people remaining in the room. Filius himself blushed, but he smiled and seemed pleased.

"Do you mind if I take the Deputy Headmaster away from you for a moment, Laura?" he asked. "I just have a few points of business to discuss with him before the Sorting tonight."

"No, not at all. I need to put the finishing touches on my presentation for Professor Cahill's fifth-year class on how to use the library for their history research...probably just adding a lot of caveats about, 'of course, this will change with the reorganisation of the library'!" she said with a laugh. She turned back to Severus. "Thank you again, Professor."

Severus stepped back, half in subconscious fear she might decide to kiss his cheek...though that was absurd...half in order to be closer to the welcoming embrace of the armchair.

The new librarian had scarcely moved away when Filius said, "Why don't we have a seat, Severus, if you have a few minutes?" The Charms teacher flicked his wand and a leather ottoman scooted closer, and he perched on it.

Severus tried to make a show of reluctance as he sat down, but his weary body seemed to sigh in relief of its own accord.

"You wished to discuss something with me?"

"Actually, Severus," Filius said in a low tone, "I thought you looked as though you could use a bit of a breather."

Severus raised an eyebrow.

"Aside from that, I thought I'd see if there was anything I could help you with," Filius continued. "I noticed that both Professor Lloyd and Laura seemed to give you rather long descriptions of some needs they have."

"Lloyd's concerns will easily be dealt with by the house-elves, I believe," Severus said, glancing at his list. "Although at the moment, we cannot do anything about the orientation of the windows in his classroom. Perhaps the next time Professor McGonagall makes some larger changes to the castle . . ."

"Surely the house-elves can deal with the windows," Filius said, furrowing his brow and trying to remember the classroom he had assigned the new Ancient Runes teacher. "They are rather long and narrow..."

"Perhaps I misspoke," Severus interrupted. "It is more the orientation of the room...the orientation of the building...to which he objects. He would prefer south-facing windows. His apparently now face the Quidditch pitch, and he finds the view aesthetically displeasing." He said the final words with an unveiled sneer.

"We could find him a different classroom," Filius began helpfully.

"I do not believe that would be a profitable expenditure of our time, however," Severus said. He sighed. He didn't even have windows in his quarters, let alone in his classroom, aside from the Charmed false window that Albus had created for him in his bedroom. That window had the view that Lloyd apparently coveted: out across the loch toward the verdant mountains on the other side. "Perhaps . . . if you know of one that would suit and he is able to move into it overnight before classes begin tomorrow . . . otherwise, I would prefer he simply wait until the winter holidays. And he might adjust to the aesthetics of the Quidditch pitch in the meantime."

"I'll look into it, then!" Filius said. "And Laura? Are she and Davey settling in well? They seemed to be, but I saw that you spoke rather at length with her."

"Hmph. She would like Floo connections between her husband's office and her own in the library," Severus said.

"I am sure that Minerva would be happy to do that. It will only take a few minutes. Was that all?"

"There were a few minor details about the cooking facilities in their suite," Severus said, "though as they both take their meals in the Great Hall, she agreed that they weren't a priority. Nonetheless, I told her to speak to their Hogwarts elf about them. I believe they are all things that can be accomplished quickly and without requiring my...or the Headmistress's...attention." Severus paused. "She also had several . . . suggestions about the library and how it might be improved, aside from the reorganisation she has already begun. Those will require our attention. Possibly something that the Headmistress will wish to discuss with the Heads of House first. One of those ideas . . . I found it . . . untenable."

"Really? What is it?" Filius asked, his curiosity piqued.

"Frankly," Severus said, glancing over at the few remaining staff on the other end of the room and lowering his voice, "I thought it daft. She would like to have the library connected by Floo to the House common rooms between the hours of eight a.m. and nine p.m during the week with shortened hours on the weekends. As a convenience to the students."

Filius's eyebrows rose. "The students Flooing back and forth . . . I don't know . . . but actually, it's a rather surprising idea, but perhaps we should consider it."

"They are sure to abuse it, use it as a short cut, or as a way out of trouble if they're up to no good. And although it's unlikely a student could override the Headmistress's Floo protocols, there are security considerations...someone could attempt to Floo through to another House's common room, for example..."

"Of course, but we could discuss it. Laura always was such a bright girl. She'll be quite the innovator, I'm sure!" Filius smiled, pleased with the new librarian's initiative. "You'll remember their daughter, Christine, from school, Severus. She's my goddaughter, you see, so they're something like family to me. I was very pleased to see that we could offer both Davey and Laura a job. It worked out so well." A cloud passed over the Ravenclaw's face. "Of course," he added quietly, "we would all prefer not to have had to replace Aurora."

Severus nodded. A chill passed over him and he could not suppress his shiver.

"You know, Severus, let me take care of Caspar and the Mannings today. You have the Sorting ahead of you, after all. And I saw that Mr Rath stopped and spoke with you. Did he need anything?"

"No." Severus's mouth suddenly felt parched. He swallowed and cleared his throat. "He was simply informing me that he will be down at the dock to meet the boats with me this evening. Hagrid is bringing them across as usual."

"Good. Rath is a decent sort, if a bit quiet. He'll cooperate with you well, I believe. He won't say much, but tell him to do something, and it'll be done."

Severus wanted to retort that that was what the Assistant Groundskeeper was being paid for, but his headache was returning full force, and he only wanted to get out of the staff room and down to his rooms. "I'll leave them to you, then," he replied instead.

Filius slipped off his ottoman. "See you this evening, Severus! I'll let you know what changes we make to Caspar's classroom."

Severus stood, trying to make it seem effortless, but then he faltered and almost groaned aloud when he saw who was coming through the staff room door: Poppy Pomfrey was returning to the room, and with her was Melina O'Donald.

There was to be no nap for him before Hermione arrived, he thought, glowering down at the two Hufflepuff witches who were smiling up at him.

Sitting on the edge of an infirmary bed, Severus wished he could interpret Melina's expression as she cast one diagnostic spell after another, a few of them sending tingles, chills, or other peculiar sensations through his body.

Finally, the Healer nodded. "Very good. The deep core readings aren't yet a cause for concern, although I will show Poppy one other spell I'd like her to cast to check your magical core each time you take the Elixir. I still want to test a few drops of your blood in vitro and check the venom levels, but you are responding well to both potions. We're entering a tricky phase, though, Severus," she said as she sat down in the chair beside the bed. "I am concerned about the dosage of the Ferron's Elixir. I will need to have Poppy monitor you when you take it each time. I realise that you wouldn't prefer that, but it is important. And if you begin to feel ill, you need to alert Poppy immediately."

"Begin to feel ill," Severus grumped. "I already feel ill all of the time. Between the headache that varies only between nagging and raging, and the general exhaustion, I certainly don't feel well."

"You said the nausea was better, though?" Melina asked.

"Better, but not entirely gone," Severus admitted.

"The fatigue . . . is it accompanied by any specific symptoms? Loss of coordination, vertigo, muscular weakness, shortness of breath, double-vision..."

"Some dizziness, usually when I'm standing for a while or when I change positions. Not muscle weakness, exactly, but I don't seem to have any stamina."

Melina performed a few more tests, having Severus follow the tip of her wand with his eyes, grip her hands, and then stand and do a few coordination and balance tests.

"Everything looks all right now, aside from a bit of unevenness in your grip strength, which is probably because you quit doing your rehab exercises too soon, but if you notice any of the symptoms becoming worse, you must tell Poppy. It is unlikely, but it could be a sign of impending magical drain. I will want to see you again on Wednesday...perhaps during your lunch hour...just to check your condition and see if we need to adjust the Ferron's Elixir further. Poppy will contact me sooner, of course, if she notices anything amiss or if you develop any troubling symptoms. I'll test your blood myself before I leave Hogwarts this morning, though I am fairly sure I'll find the same results as I just did. " Melina patted him on the shoulder. "You are doing well, Severus, and by the time we perform the procedure on Friday, you'll be in good shape to recover fully, provided you take care of yourself and let Poppy know of any changes you notice, even if you think they're benign. Keep eating, even if you haven't much appetite, whatever appeals to you. Don't worry about how healthy it is. I'll have Poppy provide you with some supplements."

Melina leaned out the open door and called to the matron, who appeared quickly. She repeated to Poppy what she had told Severus, adding, "Don't let him talk you into leaving him on his own to take the potions. That's been fine up to this point, but I will be more comfortable if you are there to take the readings immediately before and immediately after he takes them...and as you know, if there's going to be a problem with the Ferron's Elixir, it usually appears immediately after a dose is taken."

"I've boned up on treating magical drain in adults," Poppy said, "just in case."

Melina smiled at them both. "I doubt it will come to that. We'll adjust the dosage after you've finished the Nagini potion tomorrow morning." She turned to Poppy. "Reduce the Ferron's Elixir by a half a dram beginning tomorrow evening. And report the results of the diagnostics immediately, regardless of the time or what they are." She looked back up at Severus. "Let me take a few drops of blood, then I will be in touch, Severus. After all you went through this spring, I'm sure you'll get through this, too."

Severus sat in his favourite chair, which had moulded itself to his form over the years, and drowsed. Candles blazing around the room added not only light, but warmth, and without his customary cooling charms, even his dungeon quarters were beginning to feel overly warm to him. It crossed his mind that he could call Twiskett and have him light the lamps instead, but he was so near sleep, he didn't wish to stir himself enough to do even that.

Suddenly, a sharp rap on the door startled him, and he sat up straighter and blinked. At the next knock, he was on his feet and crossing the room with more speed than he had managed in days. Hermione.

He opened the door, and there she was, dressed in jeans, a satiny blouse in ruby red, and a lacily crocheted white cardigan with belled sleeves. She was toting a covered basket, too, which she held out toward him as she smiled in greeting.

He felt himself smile in return. "Good morning, Hermione."

Next

Chapter Ten: Jam Tarts

31 August 1998

Severus has a pleasant visit from Hermione, and they take a "brain holiday," though they can't escape uncomfortable topics.

Characters: Severus Snape, Hermione Granger, Twiskett

Author's Note: Some of you may recognize the Silent Knight...yes, he's still Minerva's loyal servant! If you want to reacquaint yourself with the core of his story, he's featured in the Resolving a Misunderstanding chapter "The Silent Knight's Tale." (Link goes directly to that chapter.)