Chapter One-Hundred One: Simply Severus

PART TEN

Chapter One-Hundred One: Simply Severus

Saturday, 3 April 1999

"What do you think, my dear?" Albus asked, gesturing toward the long, somewhat ovoid table that now occupied half of the large sitting room.

"It looks lovely, Albus; it really does." Minerva nodded.

It did all look lovely and warmly welcoming. Crystal sparkled, silver gleamed, and even the gold-rimmed china seemed to shine. Albus had relocated the chandelier from the centre of the room to just above the table, and its many candles all glowed warmly, adding to the light of the low candlesticks on the dining table and the long tapers set in sconces along the walls. Two low bowls of delicate blossoms decorated the table without blocking views or interfering with conversation.

On the other side of the room near the fireplace, Albus had rearranged the furniture so that it was more open, rather than closely grouped together, and on various tables, he had set out wine, spirits, and a number of nonalcoholic drinks. House-elves would pop in the appetisers when the guests began to arrive, and from what Minerva had gathered, they could practically make a meal from the many tasty treats Albus had arranged for, and the dinner itself would be equally delectable.

Minerva approached the table, ready to compliment the place settings more effusively, since she knew that Albus had put in a good deal of effort, but then she saw the place cards. Her smile grew frozen as she walked around the table and saw where Albus planned to have everyone sit.

Albus noticed her sudden stiffness and her attempt to continue to look pleased, and he knew her well enough to recognise that she thought that there was something wrong but did not want to say anything to hurt his feelings.

"What is it, Minerva?" Albus asked, puzzled. He could see nothing wrong with the table, the candles, the flowers, the place settings . . . He approached the table himself. Had the house-elves misplaced the silver? Were the glasses on the wrong side of the plates? Even if they were, that wasn't anything that Minerva would fuss about for a dinner with close friends and family...or she would simply wave her wand and rearrange things so that everything was in its proper place.

"It is a lovely table, Albus. And I'm sure that the guests will be as delighted with it as they are with the meal itself...although the meal could be served off of wooden trenchers, and I think it would still taste wonderful. But . . ."

"But?"

"The place cards..."

"I thought it an excellent idea to help the flow of conversation and to help people come to know one another if they've not met before or don't know each other well," Albus said. "It's also easier than having everyone standing about wondering whether there's some . . . pecking order and where they should sit, or whether they should wait to see which chairs the more senior guests claim. I thought you would approve...you do like to have some order, after all."

"Yes, of course, and I think place cards are an excellent idea. Very good, indeed." Minerva went over and picked up Quin's place card and shook her head.

"What is it?"

"Why do you have Quin seated beside Poppy? And . . ." She plucked another card from the table. "Helena beside Severus? Aine across from Severus? And Pomona on Severus's other side?" She shook her head again.

"I also placed Gertrude beside Quin and on my right," Albus said, "and put Severus down closer to your end of the table. I did think it best not to have Gertrude sitting very close to Severus...I took your thoughts on that to heart, my dear, although I do think you are worrying about nothing. Gertrude said she would be fine, and Severus is a grown man, and however much he may grumble about things, he got through the last couple decades teaching children whose parents he'd opposed and whom he'd even attacked. He's also become friends with Gareth. Severus will be fine with Gertrude here once he's used to it. It will be good for him. I also thought he might appreciate some female company, as would Gareth. It is quite usual to seat wizards and witches in this way when one is able to, after all, even if we haven't an even number of each. Hardly a recent innovation or some barmy idea of mine!"

"You know that I like place cards. They're quite orderly. But this order is questionable." Minerva picked up another place card. "Gareth next to Colleen Murphy and Hafrena on his other side? He may like older witches, but really, Albus! Hafrena? She's older than my mother!"

"I'm not expecting the boy to date her, just amuse her, and this way, I could put Calum next to you, since you always say you don't see enough of him, and seat Colleen across from Filius, who I'm sure would enjoy her conversation."

"Yes, that's fine; Colleen's an old friend of both his and Pomona's," Minerva replied, putting down the place card for Pomona's former fellow apprentice. "I'm not sure about seating Poppy beside Quin, though . . ."

"I noticed that she and Quin have begun seeing each other again. Although it didn't work out between them before, perhaps it will this time. They do seem quite fond of one another. I had originally planned to seat Pomona beside Quin, and Severus between Aine and Poppy...two lovely witches whose company I'm sure he could appreciate, particularly as he so enjoys the Maximilian Powers books...but then after I saw that Poppy and Quin are dating again, I changed those plans and moved Poppy over next to Quin, and since Severus and Helena have had a date or two recently, I thought I might encourage young love and seat her beside him!" Albus smiled, looking quite pleased with himself.

"Albus . . ." Minerva sighed. She couldn't break the confidences of either Poppy or Severus, but this would be disastrous if Severus had to watch Poppy sitting and talking with Quin all evening, with Gertrude just on Quin's other side. "I've spoken with Severus, and he actually thinks that Helena and Gareth might be well-suited, though Helena isn't yet interested in dating, I understand. The poor witch only just lost her fiancé less than a year ago, after all. And you know that Pomona can sometimes get on Severus's nerves. If you want Severus to actually relax and have a good time tonight, I suggest seating Pomona next to Quin as you'd originally planned...she'd love sitting next to him, I'm sure...and moving Poppy over next to Severus. He's always got along with her much better than he does Pomona, and they have been working together quite a bit lately, so I think he'd be comfortable with her. Besides, Poppy told me confidentially that she doesn't think that now is the right time to date Quin, if there ever were to be a 'right time.' I'm sure she won't mind sitting beside Severus and not Quin."

"Then Colleen, Calum, Marjorie, Caspar, and Filius . . ." Albus's brow furrowed as he looked at the cards remaining on the table after Minerva had removed most of them.

"Do you mind if I interfere with just this one little aspect of your party, Albus? May I rearrange the place cards? Everyone will have a good time, I'm sure, and I'll make certain that Severus has plenty of opportunity to talk with all of the eligible witches whom you invited tonight, everyone from Helena to Hafrena." When Albus hesitated slightly, Minerva added, "There are also the party games after...you can have fun forming the teams for those!"

Albus grinned. "Of course, my dear." He watched as she flicked her wand and replaced Pomona's place card with Poppy's. "And I had rather hoped that Poppy and Severus might hit it off, since they seemed rather friendly at Filius's party, though it looks as though I'm to be disappointed and they're both all Hogwarts business. Still, it's a good thing that they've become friendly colleagues. I believe that Severus is quite coming out of his shell...he's sending out feelers, anyway!"

"He is making an effort," Minerva agreed as she flicked her wand several times and rearranged most of the place cards, keeping Gertrude on Albus's right and to Quin's left but moving Caspar to sit across from her, then moving the others around so that Severus was still between Poppy and Aine, but now across from Hafrena. She kept Hafrena on one side of Gareth, but moved Helena to sit on his other side. One more flick, and the remaining place cards settled gently on the table. "It's still difficult for him, though. He doesn't like to show you, but it can be hard."

"I know. I am certain that these new restrictions on his movements and being treated as 'one that got away' must be very wearing on him, not to mention that in addition to being a possible target, he's even been treated as a suspect. The poor lad must feel as though it will never be over."

"You should talk to him, Albus," Minerva said. "You could offer him so much advice, or not even advice . . . but you could speak to him of your experiences. You could offer him some sympathy and understanding, and I think that if you spoke to him some of your youth and then of your difficulties adjusting to life after defeating Grindelwald, you might give him some hope for his future. And if he's having any personal troubles, it might be nice for him to have a friend to go to...a wizard...someone to talk things over with who can relate to his situation and feelings."

"We have spoken in the past . . . but I suppose I have not always been very forthcoming with him," Albus said thoughtfully. "Our conversations on those subjects have tended toward . . . the technical and impersonal. He has not seemed to welcome overtures toward personal conversations, though."

"And you likely never persisted," Minerva replied. "I imagine, too, that many of those conversations were in connection with unpleasant business, and any early in his career here . . . well, I doubt they were comfortable or even particularly voluntary."

Albus nodded. "I do believe that the tenor of our early conversations put an even greater strain on our relationship in those years."

"Conversations...they were more like interrogations, I imagine."

"To a degree. Not wholly. But it isn't as though Severus would have shared all he needed to without being questioned closely. It's not as though I bullied the boy. Although . . . perhaps I could have done a few things differently, but it was a difficult situation, and he was a very difficult wizard."

Minerva shrugged. "I don't know about the past, Albus. As you always say, there's no point in dwelling on it or in it, but I think that in the here and now, you have an opportunity with him. He cares about you, and I think he'd be glad to be closer to you. But he's never going to be the one to make the initiative. You know that. You always say he's become like a son to you; if you want to be fatherly toward him, you have that chance now, one you didn't have before."

"You never seemed to think that my fatherly conversations with Gareth went particularly well," Albus pointed out.

"I don't know as I'd put it that way, but you weren't always very fatherly toward him in those conversations...yes, I know you tried, and I don't want to rehash the past, Albus, but you sometimes did too much preaching and too little listening, particularly when he was living with us."

"I suppose . . . and he wasn't very inclined to listen to me, either, particularly not after overhearing me say that he would be better off living with Melina and Brennan, though I only meant it for his own good." Albus sighed, remembering the stony-faced teenager who was trying to pretend not to cry and not to care, but whose tears shone in his eyes, eyes that were so like Minerva's.

"And then you hired Severus and he was sent even further away. Gareth loves you, and he always has, but I think it took him a while to get over that, but he did. You and he are much closer now."

"Well, I've toned down my 'preaching,' as you put it, and I've tried to remember that he's a full-grown wizard, too!" Albus smiled. "I do still sometimes see him as he was as a boy, you know. He was so very bright, but headstrong, and so very self-contained. I worried about him after Malcolm died and he was having such a difficult time, not speaking at all, trying to take care of his mother but shutting everyone else out . . . but I didn't know what to do for him. He was always closer to you."

"You brought him kilt shopping with Dad, remember? It was your idea," Minerva said with a smile.

Albus laughed. "He would refuse to wear his trousers, after all, and he only had the one kilt that was the right length; all his others were too short, he'd grown so fast. If the boy was going to wear nothing but the kilt, then he had to have a few, at least. And proper shirts and shoes, too, I remember. We bought him a dress sporran and an everyday one, as well, but he never used them. Only his father's."

"He had a good time with you that day, I remember," Minerva said. "It meant a lot to Gertrude, too."

"And we've had fun at the Golden Cups Parks," Albus said with a grin.

Minerva rolled her eyes and laughed. "You two! Getting me on that ride, both of you wheedling and pleading, saying how fun it would be, and then he vomited all over my one decent casual Muggle dress, and I couldn't even whip out my wand and clean it up!"

Albus laughed. "Well, Gareth and I had fun together."

"He never threw up on you," Minerva said, smiling, "so of course you'd think it was fun...I was happy to leave you two to the thrill rides after that trip, though!"

"We missed you!"

"Oh, you did not! You were both having too much fun to miss me," Minerva said with a dismissive wave of her hand. "You know, you were always at your best with Gareth when you weren't trying too hard, when you were just being yourself."

"I suppose I'd been a headmaster so long, it was sometimes difficult for me to step out of that role with him."

"Well, remember that when you're with Severus, then, if it helps," Minerva said.

"I said something like that to Severus, actually. That we could have a fresh start, that I wasn't his boss or the Headmaster any longer, and that we could learn to relate to each other in a new way."

"I think you are already doing well with that," Minerva replied with a nod. "He's much more at ease with you than he was after he learned you were alive...in some ways, I think he may even be more at ease with you than he's ever been."

"I think . . . I think that the time we spent together in the Forest that time, when I showed him where we incinerated the remains, I think that was good for us. For us both. We didn't even speak much. But I believe we both felt closer after that. Perhaps not closer, but as you say, more at ease with each other."

"You put a chapter behind you, and I think it helped Severus immensely that you apologised and explained what had been going through your mind."

"I think it may also have been the first time I ever felt that he truly accepted an apology from me," Albus said. "It was a relief for me, actually. It is hard to apologise repeatedly to someone for various things over the course of so many years, things large and small, even fairly insignificant misunderstandings, and feel that your apology is never accepted."

"So you now have a good basis for a closer friendship with him. It is good you persisted in that regard. I really believe that he's at a point in his life when he needs you, when your friendship could be very important to him. This year is a great transition for him, filled with all kinds of changes; talking to you could help him immensely."

"He talks to you, though."

"I know, but I think that having another wizard to talk to would be good...and one who's also seen his share of sorrow and trouble in life, too."

"Gareth..."

"Has become a wonderful friend for Severus, I'm sure, and I can't tell you how pleased I am that Severus has been able to make friends with someone who's a peer...who's close to his age, who's also bright and inquisitive, and who knows some of Severus's less than sterling qualities but still can see past that...but I think that you can offer him a different sort of relationship than he has with Gareth."

Albus laughed. "You mean one with a barmy old codger?"

Minerva chuckled. "Yes, my dear barmy old codger, one with you!" She walked around the table and kissed her barmy old codger. "Mmm, I do love you so, Albus!" she said, embracing him and leaning against him as his arms went around her.

"And I, my dear, love you!"

~*~*~*~*~

"I just have to slip on a pair of shoes, and we can go," Poppy said. "I couldn't decide between these dark blue ones and the pale grey ones. I think the blue ones would need charming to go with these robes." She held up one in each hand to show Severus.

"My advice: do not wear one of each," Severus joked.

Poppy laughed. "I'd be limping along beside you, since the heels are quite different." She examined the shoes again. "The grey might go better."

"Wear whichever pair is more comfortable," Severus said. Looking at the shoes, he thought that the grey pair looked uncomfortable, though they were dressier, sexier, with a narrow high heel.

Poppy quickly charmed the blue shoes a shade to complement her greenish-blue turquoise robes and then slipped them on. She picked up what appeared to be a bottle of wine, brightly wrapped in a paisley fabric with a bow tied around its neck.

"You have a gift for them?" Severus asked. He had nothing with him.

"Just a bottle of wine from Dylan's cousin's," Poppy replied. "Nothing very grand."

"Do you think that everyone will bring a gift?"

Poppy shook her head. "Oh, I doubt it, and even if they do, you needn't worry about it...I'm sure no one will notice, and Albus will just be very pleased to see you there."

Severus furrowed his brow. "I ought to have thought of that . . . brought something."

Poppy set the bottle of wine down. "You know, I think I'll give this to them some other time. It's nothing that won't keep. I brought it back with me last time I visited Violet, and I hadn't had any specific plans for it. I just thought it would be nice to bring tonight."

"If I had only thought, I could have brought Minerva some of the potion I brewed today. Although Blood-Replenishing Potion would be an odd gift, I suppose."

Poppy laughed. "Yes, just a tad on the outré side, I'd say. So you brewed some nonstandard potion for Minerva?"

Severus nodded. "It is an alternative to the one that Murdoch brews. I have not yet tested its efficacy, however. I thought I would do that sometime this week."

"You will have to tell me how that works out. Murdoch used to talk about trying to simplify the potion, but I don't know as he ever spent any time on it." Poppy opened the door.

"You ought to bring the wine..."

"No, some other time would be fine," Poppy reassured him. "And this way, no one else might wonder if they ought to have brought something, too, if they hadn't."

"Quin probably did," Severus muttered.

Poppy shrugged. "Perhaps. But don't think that will matter to Albus and Minerva. I think they're just glad to be able to have a dinner like this."

Severus sighed and followed her out the door.

Poppy hoped that Severus would not spend the entire evening obsessed about Quin's presence or constantly comparing himself to the other wizard. She wanted to enjoy herself that evening, and she didn't think she could if Severus were being quietly miserable.

"Sev?" she said softly.

"Mm."

"You know, I think you could enjoy this evening if you let yourself."

"It's not a matter of 'letting myself,'" Severus replied, resignation in his voice, "not tonight, anyway. But I will endure it."

Poppy stopped and put her hand on his arm. "I'm sure that it means a lot to Albus and Minerva that you're coming tonight, but they didn't invite you in order to make you miserable. They want you...and their other guests...to have a good time. If you really didn't want to come, you should have just told them. No doubt they would have been disappointed, Albus especially, and I would have been, too, since I was looking forward to a social occasion with you, even if it's not a date, but better that than for you to attend and look for reasons to be glum and unhappy."

"So you're saying that I shouldn't go..."

"No. I'm saying that you should go and look at it as a challenge. Don't focus on things that irk you or depress you or make you feel awkward. Try to find things that you can enjoy about the evening, or things that interest you . . . or, if I'm not being too vain here, look at it as an opportunity to spend a little more time with me."

Severus sighed. "I will try. Though I wish it were a date, just the two of us."

"We'll have time alone together later in the holiday. But I won't enjoy myself very much if I'm worried that you're being quietly miserable."

Severus smirked. "Rather I be loudly miserable?"

Poppy laughed. "That would be hardly much better."

"I will endeavour to avoid being miserable, then, and I will look for things to enjoy," Severus said with a slight smile. "I will even participate in Albus's party games...though I cannot promise not to be competitive!"

"I would never expect that!" Poppy said with a laugh, squeezing his arm. "Good, then! Let's get to the party...I'm looking forward to seeing everyone. Albus has invited a few people whom I rarely see these days...Hafrena MacAirt, or NicAirt, as she prefers now that she's away from Hogwarts. She taught Divination for years. And Calum, that's Melina's son. I think you'd find him interesting, and he's about your age. He's a Muggle chemist, though he's not a Muggle, of course, and Murdoch thinks he may have a lot to contribute to Potions research...quite a far cry from his reaction when the boy announced he was continuing in Muggle school with his friends and didn't want to go to Hogwarts."

"I am surprised that Melina allowed that," Severus said.

Poppy shrugged. "Calum always got good grades, he was active in sport and clubs, and he had a lot of Muggle friends. I suppose that Melina assumed that he had some chance for a successful life in the Muggle world. He still did OWLs and NEWTs, though I think he only did Charms, Transfiguration, and Potions for his NEWTs, since he devoted most of his time to his Muggle NEWTs."

Severus snorted. "A levels, I think they're called. Not NEWTs, anyway."

"Whatever they are...the Muggle qualifying exams. He did well, went to university, has all sorts of Muggle degrees which Melina tells me are very impressive, and now he has a successful career."

"And he's thinking of chucking it all and trying to fit into the wizarding world now?" Severus asked. "Seems late days to be changing his life that drastically."

"I don't know. I think he may be dating a witch now and is fairly serious about her, so that may have played a role in his decision, but I think he also enjoyed the work he did with Murdoch and Robert on the different potions last year," Poppy said.

"I can understand how a relationship could change his perspective on his life," Severus said, looking down at Poppy, a soft expression on his face.

Poppy looked up at him and smiled. "Yes, so do I." She remembered her thought that she'd rather leave Hogwarts to be with Severus than to stay there without him, and her smile grew. It was partly her age and her experience...including some regret that she and Murdoch had not compromised and made a life together...but it was also simply Severus. She knew that things might not work out between them, that things might end disastrously, in fact, but her feelings for him had grown so steadily and so strongly, she would even take a leap into the unknown and leave Hogwarts with him if he asked, rather than lose him by staying at the school. She would risk her heart and more for Severus.