Chapter Fifty-Seven: Making it Through the Week

Chapter Fifty-Seven: Making it Through the Week

Tuesday, 16 March – Friday, 19 March 1999

Poppy rubbed her eyes. She had managed to make it through the morning fairly well, despite her poor night's sleep, but two nights in a row of having only a few hours sleep were taking their toll, and her midafternoon slump was worse than usual.

When the words began to swim in front of her eyes, she gave up and called one of the house-elves who served in the infirmary.

"I am going to my quarters, Perlie. If anyone comes up to the infirmary between now and four-thirty, you can fetch me. And as you know, I will be out of the castle this evening. I doubt there will be any need for either you or Strilpa to stay in the Hospital Wing whilst I'm out, but listen for the Headmistress in case you are needed."

"Of course, Madam Poppy," Perlie said.

Poppy went straight to her bedroom and collapsed on the bed, just kicking off her shoes and tossing her hat across the room, not caring where it landed. Within seconds, she was asleep.

"Mmm, Severus, you shouldn't be so naughty," she murmured, rolling over and stretching. Her hands met air, and she blinked. There was no one there. She'd just been having a particularly nice dream, she realised with a sigh.

Poppy pushed herself up. She could tell from the angle of the light coming in through her windows that it was later than it had been when she lay down, and she reached for the small clock on her beside table. Almost four o'clock already. She'd slept almost two hours, but she didn't feel refreshed. She felt hot, sweaty, and muzzy-headed. She knew better than to fall asleep in her clothes like that, and to sleep for more than an hour in the afternoon unless she was really sick.

A shower would help her wake up enough to be able to make it to her meeting with Healer Glyndwr. Gladys would be understanding if she bowed out of the dinner plans they had made for after their meeting, but Poppy had been looking forward to it. Besides, it would get her mind off of Severus.

As she showered, though, Poppy couldn't keep her mind off of Severus. Now, in the full light of day, she was unsure of the decision that she had made early that morning. She had been second-guessing herself all day, and it hadn't helped when Severus had walked past her at breakfast that morning, going directly to his own chair, even though Pomona's seat to her left was still free. Of course, that was what she had wanted, for them to behave as they normally did, but that didn't change the fact that she wished that where he sat at mealtimes was not now so fraught with symbolism. Then she thought about him all morning until she saw him at lunch, already in his place as she entered the Great Hall, and the seat to his right, still empty, and Albus sitting in her usual chair beside Pomona, but the place on Albus's other side, free.

As foolish as it was, she almost turned around and left the Great Hall rather than decide where to sit. But then she had walked up to the table, turned left instead of right as usual, and walked around to sit beside Severus. She had, after all, said that there was no reason that they couldn't sit together during meals, and she wanted them to be comfortable with each other as friends. But other than when she asked him to pass her the condiments and he had said, "you're welcome" when she thanked him, he hadn't said anything at all to her. It was an uncomfortable meal, with Severus silent on one side of her and Rath taciturn on the other, and it left Poppy sitting there and eating mechanically, wishing she had sat beside Albus after all.

When she'd finished her meal and put her napkin on the table, though, Severus had risen and taken the back of her chair, pulling it out slightly for her, then he had looked at her, nodded once, and swept past, leaving the Great Hall in a swirl of black robes.

Poppy might not admit it to anyone else, but she was not fool enough to deny it to herself any longer: she wanted more with Severus than just a fling. It had been a terrible temptation when Severus had come to her rooms that morning and told her he wanted more. She didn't know how much more she wanted...the mere idea of the two of them together in some kind of long-term relationship would strike anyone as absurd, she was sure...but she knew that she didn't like the strain between them, and that she wished she could undo the events of the previous day. But she also believed that something worse would have happened further down the road if they had continued to see each other as they had been. Severus clearly had difficulties in relationships, and if he had fits about the fact that she didn't speak to him at a meal or that she decided to go on a short holiday and didn't inform him immediately, how much worse would it be if they moved beyond a fling? And then his apology . . . it was sweet, but over-the-top.

It was as Minerva had said about Severus: he went to extremes. A brief apology from him when he returned from Arthur's would have been sufficient. She would have gone to bed forgiving him his bad mood. Instead, he stayed up half the night and brewed a potion for her. Then he couldn't even wait until dawn to give it to her, but had woken her at four-thirty in the morning. He was a man of extremes. She had always known this about him; it may even have been a part of what had attracted her to him that first night, and why she had followed him back to his rooms. But it wasn't healthy and it wasn't sensible.

Poppy didn't know if they could be friends now, but she hoped they could at least be friendly colleagues. They probably just didn't have enough in common to be real friends, anyway, she told herself as she towelled herself dry. But she had enjoyed spending time with him over the last week, and they had had a good time at Delancie's two nights ago. It wasn't only the sex she would miss, it was Severus himself. He was witty and intelligent, quite attentive to her, a good listener, and generally good company...when he wasn't being surly. Of course, the sex had been very good. She had begun to believe that she was past having another lover, and she had become comfortable with that idea. She wasn't averse to the idea of another relationship, of course; such a thing could happen at any time of life...look at Gertrude, after all. She had lost Reginald, and then, more than a quarter century later, had remarried quite happily. Just because one was no longer in the first bloom of youth didn't mean that love and romance were out of the question. But she hadn't been looking for a lover that night when Severus had flirted with her, and she hadn't anticipated ever falling in love again or having another romantic relationship.

Of course, what she had had with Severus wasn't like that. She liked steady, dependable men, and he was too moody; she was too old for him, and he was apparently enamoured of young Hermione Granger . . . No, it would never have worked out. But it was a pity that it couldn't have continue for a bit longer and then just gradually faded as he had found other interests.

This was for the best, though, she told herself again as she headed out the door. There was no reason that they couldn't be friends, if they both wanted that. And she should simply enjoy other aspects of her social life, as she always had done.

Severus ate his dinner with little appetite. This would have to be one of the meals he was required to attend that week. He hadn't been this tired in months. All he wanted to do was return to his rooms and go to bed. He was getting soft.

On his right, Vector was speaking with Laura Manning about some shopping trip they had planned for the following weekend. He didn't want to know about hairstyles, witches' robes, or make-up potions, let alone the relative merits of Muggle undergarments versus traditional witches' wear. He certainly had not wanted to know that Ms Walker Manning favoured brassieres over support charms. He tuned their conversation out and turned toward Albus, who was actually sitting to the left of the Headmistress's chair as he was supposed to.

"Where is Minerva this evening?" Severus asked. He had been unaware that she was going to be absent from the evening meal, and she usually told him in advance.

"She is dealing with an unhappy parent."

"Not a Slytherin student," Severus asked.

"Hufflepuff," Albus replied.

Severus glanced further down the table. Pomona was not at dinner, either. He shrugged to himself. Minerva would tell him about it at their weekly meeting, he was sure, unless he needed to know sooner. He was not good with Hufflepuffs. Except with Poppy. Although recent events and his recent behaviour demonstrated that he wasn't very good with her, either. He remembered the Hufflepuff proprietor of Scrivenshaft's, and his derision for the wizard's marriage to a Slytherin, thinking that the witch had found herself a nice, tractable little man for whom she would have to do little in order to hold. Now, Severus's only sneer was for himself.

"We're a bit light on staff tonight," Albus remarked, "or I would volunteer to take your shift so you could leave early. I told Minerva I would stay for her already, though."

"Mmm."

"Poppy is in London this evening, I understand."

"Yes."

"Meeting with someone about the project?"

"As I am sure Minerva already told you."

"Move over if you're done with your dinner, Severus. We can speak more easily."

Severus raised an eyebrow. "You could move."

Albus smiled. "You are the Deputy Headmaster. It is more appropriate for you to sit in Minerva's chair." He smiled more broadly. "We can see how you look in it."

Severus scowled, but moved. Their desserts appeared in front of them. Key lime pie. Not bad, once you removed the soft meringue, which Severus did with a very slight flick of his finger, taking pride in the increased control he had over his wandless magic. He remembered Poppy's door and sighed gloomily. The tart pie no longer appealed to him. He picked up his fork and poked at it.

"So you didn't want to go into London with Poppy this evening?"

"It was not an option. She is meeting with a Healer from St. Mungo's; it is more appropriate for her to meet with the professionals. And as you point out, I am on duty this evening."

"Someone might have been happy to take your shift, though..."

"It was unnecessary for me to attend the meeting."

"But you could have gone to dinner with Poppy afterward."

"No. She and Healer Glyndwr are old friends. They are going to dinner afterward, I believe."

"Ah, Gladys! Yes, a lovely girl."

"Healer Glyndwr is hardly a girl." Severus had never met her, but he knew that she was older than he was by several years.

"Still . . . she is lovely. Perhaps Poppy might introduce the two of you. You might hit it off. Her late husband was an Auror, you know. Bailey. Fenton Bailey. Did you ever know him? No? They weren't married long. I always thought it a pity that she didn't find another nice wizard after he died."

"Albus, I have told you, I do not want to be set up with someone. And even if I were interested in such a thing, I doubt that Healer Glyndwr, an Auror's widow, would be interested in becoming involved with a former Death Eater. She is also in London; I am at Hogwarts. I am not interested in her."

"I just think you should get out and meet people, son. Have some fun. You took Poppy to dinner at Delancie's over the weekend; that was a start. Take her out again."

Severus shot a look at Albus. Damned nosy old wizard. "I never told you where we went to dinner."

Albus shrugged. "I heard it from someone. But if you had a good time with her, why not ask her out again? She's a fine witch. I think she likes y..."

"Damn it, Albus, just stay out of my affairs!" Severus said, his voice low but his tone, sharp.

"I'm sorry. I'm not meddling. Just making a little suggestion, my boy."

"Dinner with Poppy was Hogwarts business. That was all. She is a colleague." Severus threw his napkin down on the table and stood. Just because he had to be present in the Great Hall for the entire meal didn't mean that he had to sit at the table with a barmy old loon. He bent closer to Albus and said softly but fiercely, "And she would never be interested. Never. Not in me. Just leave me alone, Dumbledore. Go play with someone else's life for a change."

Severus stalked from the table and took up a position by the doors, ready to take points from any student who stepped even one toe out of line. Albus smiled and took a bite of his key lime pie.

Albus settled on the sofa and watched Minerva for a few minutes as she sat at the small writing desk in their sitting room and wrote. "You know, I was thinking, Minerva, that one day during the Easter holiday, we should have some people around for dinner. I made up a little guest list."

"Hmm, if you like," Minerva said, not looking up from the letter she was writing.

"I thought we would invite Pomona and Filius, of course. Sharon will be away for a week, but if we have Pomona and Filius, we should invite Severus. And I thought that Gareth might like to come, if he's going to be in town that week. And perhaps Gertrude. Helena Benetti, too; she always seems so much on her own here, and holidays away from home can be lonely."

"Mmm, I don't know as Gertrude will want to come, but we could tell her who else will be here and let her decide. You do remember that she and Pomona and a few others are going away part of that week after Easter, don't you?" Minerva asked, taking off her glasses, setting them down, and turning slightly in her chair so that she could see him. "You will need to schedule around that."

"Yes, my dear, and I still think you should go with them. You work too hard. You deserve a little holiday."

"I have too much to do, and I don't want to go this year. It will be nice to be here with you, as well," she replied. "Perhaps next year, or if they go again in July, as Pomona is suggesting."

"I will look forward to spending more time with you over the holiday, then, Madam Headmistress!" Albus said with a grin. "You might be able to squeeze me in amidst those important tasks of yours."

"You are hardly neglected," Minerva said drily, avoiding mention of the fact that when he had been Headmaster, he'd had much less time to spend with her than she made for him. "Now, who else is on your guest list?"

"I thought Poppy would be a nice addition, and Quin and Aine. Too close to the birth of little Minerva Aileen to invite Alroy and Rosemary, of course. And we could ask Quin whether he would like to bring a lady friend."

"You keep insisting that Rosemary's having a girl. You don't know that. Aine said it's a boy, and from Melina's expression the last time you said that, she thinks you're wrong, too."

Albus shrugged.

"I don't think that Quin is seeing anyone," Minerva added, "nor is Aine, as far as I know. She starts her job with the Dublin Prophet next week, though, so I don't know whether she'll have the time to come."

"I doubt she'll spend every moment working," Albus said. "And it's only an advice column, hardly something with breaking deadlines, or whatever they call them."

"All right. But you take care of the invitations. I have too much to think about at the moment," Minerva said, picking up her glasses and her quill again.

"I know you do, my dear," Albus said. He got up and came over and kissed her cheek. "You make too much work for yourself."

"Tell that to the Board of Governors," Minerva said, twitching away slightly as he tried to caress her. "And if you want us to spend more time together this evening, you'll let me finish this now." She looked up at him and softened her words with a smile. "I have been looking forward all day to beating you at chess tonight."

Albus chuckled and returned to the sofa and picked up the novel he had been reading, Midnight's Children, a Christmas gift the previous year from Melina. He was enjoying it, but as none of the books Melina gave him ever had happy endings, he wasn't sure whether he would finish it. He liked a good happy ending in his reading, since one saw them so rarely in real life. One could try to engineer them, however. He glanced back down at his guest list and smiled.

He'd made it through a week. Well, four days. But it was Friday, and he'd managed to talk to Poppy about the counselling project and his meeting with Weasley without making a fool of himself, having irrational fits of jealousy, or trying to jump her bones...which would be just one more way of making a fool of himself, since she had called a halt to their physical relationship. But now it was Friday night, and he had no duty that night or for the rest of the weekend. And he was restless, wanting to see Poppy, but knowing he had to avoid her.

He had owled Hermione that morning and asked whether she would like to have a late supper with him in Hogsmeade. Unfortunately, she replied that she already had plans for that evening. At lunch, he sent an owl to Gareth, but he also was busy that night, and hoping not to be back until "late." Severus assumed the younger wizard had a date that night.

At dinner, Severus looked up and down the staff table and sighed. There was not a one whom he felt comfortable in asking to accompany him to Hogsmeade for a drink that evening or sometime over the weekend. Poppy wasn't there, and he couldn't ask her even if she were. He would gladly have Minerva's company, but she rarely went out evenings and even more rarely when he was out of the castle, as well, and inviting Minerva would necessitate inviting Albus, and he was still irritated with the old wizard for his persistent interest in his social life. The same went for Filius: inviting him meant inviting Pomona. Not that Filius would not go out without Pomona, but Severus could not very well require that he leave her home.

Sarah Duffy was out of the question even if he might have found her company agreeable, which he didn't. Sharon Carter had irked him at the last staff meeting by complaining about the detentions he had set for a group of Gryffindors whom he had caught smoking "herbal cigarettes" down behind the North Tower. He rarely spoke to Laura and David Manning, and they were a unit, as well, which would only point out his own pathetically single state. Olivia Ouellette was well-known for eschewing intimate relationships with the opposite sex, and although she would probably respond positively if he were to invite her with a group of others, they didn't know each other well, and she might take his invitation amiss if it were just the two of them; Severus did not want the embarrassment of having her possibly mistake his intentions. Rath preferred spending his time out on the grounds and in the Forest, and Severus had never seen the wizard imbibe, not to mention that he seemed less inclined toward conversation than Severus himself. The two of them going out for a drink would be bizarre, with nothing in common and neither of them speaking. The idea of asking Shunpike was just as laughable. One by one, Severus went through the staff who were present at the evening meal and eliminated all of them until he reached Hagrid.

Hagrid. Reduced to drinking with Hagrid. Better to sit in his office and brood, he thought.

He was just finishing his pudding...rhubarb pie again, so that was a bright spot in his otherwise depressing evening...when Olivia Ouellette got up and walked down the length of the table, speaking first with Hagrid, then with Filius, then very briefly with Laura Manning, and finally stopping at his chair.

"Professor Snape, a few of us are going into Hogsmeade this evening for drinks at the Three Broomsticks. If you are available, you are welcome to join us."

Severus hesitated only a moment, then nodded. It would provide some distraction from his persistent thoughts of Poppy. But then he suddenly realised that Poppy might be going, as well, and that thought was simultaneously exciting and disturbing.

"Good. We are leaving the castle at eight-thirty, but feel free to join us later if you have things to do earlier."

"I must consult with the Headmistress first..."

"That's fine, Severus," Minerva said, having overheard Olivia's invitation. "Enjoy yourself."

"Slytherin..."

"Just be sure your prefects know to come to me if there's a problem. They can tell the Silent Knight. I'll have him go sit in with Aurora's portrait for the evening. They get along well. Then he can nip up to my office and let me know if little Suzie Sefton is . . . allergic to rhubarb pie," she said, looking down at the Slytherin table, where Suzie was happily eating a classmate's pie, having already finished her own.

"Rhubarb seems to have been on the acceptable list of foods that her parents allowed her to eat growing up, so I presume that she will neither overindulge nor be overly sensitive to it," Severus replied. The girl's parents owned a macrobiotic restaurant and small organic farm, and had limited their daughter's diet to foods they considered "wholesome"...to such a degree that every fried food, sweet, and unfamiliar flavour appealed to her even when it didn't agree with her. "The standard stomach and digestive potions seem to work well for her, as long as she doesn't eat anything with droobleberries in it, to which she has an allergy. Madam Pomfrey extracted the girl's promise, however, that she would eat nothing with droobleberries and the house-elves have removed droobleberries from the menu for any meals they serve in the Great Hall. Eating meat causes Miss Sefton to have, er, digestive irregularities for several days if she does not take a potion to counteract it. I believe, however, that she ceased eating meat and poultry on her own."

Minerva smiled and nodded. "I will remember that, thank you, Severus. It will also be useful to know when you collect on your bet." She took a sip of tea. "Have you decided when you would like to have your three nights of freedom?"

Severus shook his head. "Not before Easter, certainly." Now that he wasn't seeing Poppy any longer, he didn't want to have that much free time to think about what he could be doing with her if only he hadn't behaved so poorly. Even a Hufflepuff as generous as Poppy couldn't manage to overlook his bad behaviour and miserable disposition. He just wasn't capable of having a relationship without ruining it. He sighed and took a consoling bite of rhubarb pie.

"All right, Severus. Just let me know well enough in advance so that Albus and I can make our plans around it."

At eight twenty-five, Severus stood in an unused classroom on the fourth floor and looked out over the grounds. He wanted to see who was heading into Hogsmeade before he decided definitely to join them. A few minutes later, a small group left through the front doors, meeting Hagrid as he came around the side of the castle. He saw Filius, Pomona, Olivia, the Mannings, and, of course, Hagrid. Not an objectionable group, though others might join them later. Still, aside from not wanting to see Poppy...or wanting to see her more than he should...he really did have fairly acceptable colleagues for the most part. And nothing said that just because he joined them for a drink, he would have to stay long.

Nonetheless, as he made his way back down to the ground floor and out the doors, he was nervous. He was not very good at socialising, and he would no doubt offend his colleagues or possibly be the butt of some sport. He never knew how to react to teasing, and although he was getting better at it, even "good-natured" teasing from friends could be difficult for him to handle, and it often embarrassed him. Embarrassment made him angry and vituperative. There were times when he liked to have the spotlight on him and be noticed, but not for some foible of his that others found amusing or peculiar.

He shrugged to himself as he reached the gates. He didn't have to stay with them. And he didn't have to talk a lot. There were plenty of others who would be pleased to chatter away, he was sure.

NEXT

Chapter Fifty-Eight: The Barghest's Howl

Friday, 19 March 1999

Severus joins some colleagues for a drink at the Three Broomsticks, where he runs into Hermione.

Rated T.

Characters: Severus Snape, Filius Flitwick, Hermione Granger, Madam Rosmerta, Pomona Sprout, Rubeus Hagrid, Wilhelmina Grubbly-Plank, Olivia Ouellette, Tarrant McPherson, Auror Shakira Plummer, David Manning, Laura Walker Manning, Helena Benetti, and members of the Barghest's Howl