Chapter Twenty-Six: Laid to Rest

Note: Thank you to Hogwarts Duo for rereading this chapter after my "final polish" for at least the third time and giving me her feedback!

Chapter Twenty-Six: Laid to Rest

Saturday, 21 – Sunday, 22 November 1998

Severus straightened and looked at Minerva, who was still sitting beside him.

"I wish you hadn't had to see that," he said softly, now understanding her earlier tears.

He had just seen himself tortured by the Dark Lord and bitten by Nagini. Viewing it had been horrifying, humiliating, and somehow ennobling, all at the same time. Seeing himself tortured and almost killed, but from a new perspective, was a jarring and deeply unsettling experience.

He had also seen Hermione lop Nagini's head off with one furious blow. She had looked magnificent: determined, strong, and heroic. It was strange, seeing her hold him and care for him, and seeing Albus's tender care, his gestures of affection toward him even as he provided the medical care necessary to save his life. He witnessed Hermione Portkey away with him, and then he watched as Dumbledore removed the venom sacs and upper fangs from Nagini, storing them safely away in the belt in which he had carried the potions and syringe, and then binding the four unconscious Death Eaters together. The last thing that Severus saw before the memory ended abruptly was Albus casting an incineration spell at Nagini. Flames leapt up from her body and climbed the curtains, Albus grabbed onto the rope binding the Death Eaters together, and then the memory ended.

"I knew what had happened," Minerva said, her expression pained, "but seeing it was so much worse. It seemed to go on forever. As I was watching it, even perfectly aware that you were safe and sound at Hogwarts in the here-and-now, I was so afraid for you, and seeing your suffering was difficult to bear. I don't know how they stood there and watched that." She blinked rapidly and tried to smile. "Do you know that Hermione had large, dark bruises on her shoulders where Albus had been holding onto her? He was terribly apologetic to her, but she said that it was what they had both needed at the time to keep them from jumping in and getting all three of you possibly killed. She said she'd hardly even noticed them for a few hours, not until you were out of danger of dying."

Severus sighed and nodded. It was hard to understand the effort that had gone into saving his life, and every time he remembered the people who had died, he felt guilty. So much effort on the parts of so many people, just to save his life, and yet so many good people had been killed; there had been no one there to save them.

He licked his dry lips, then he gestured toward the other two vials. "These are from you?"

Minerva nodded. "Yes."

"Where is Dumbledore tonight? I should . . . thank him. For the loan of the memory and the Pensieve."

"He's gone to London. I hope you'll be able to see him when he gets back, but he might be late."

"I see." He looked at the silvery memories in their vials. "Which one next?"

Minerva took her wand and drew out Albus's memory from the Pensieve and returned it to its empty vial, then she lifted another and poured it in. "This one. It's short. Somewhat disturbing to view, I imagine, but perhaps not as bad as the previous one." She sighed. "Though worse in one respect. There is a death in it."

Severus nodded in acknowledgment, then he entered the memory. It was early morning, just before dawn, and there were Death Eaters on the lawn outside Hogwarts. Minerva stood in the open doorway and watched Potter walk out toward a heap on the grass. Severus approached it. Malfoy. The man was a wreck. Severus watched as Potter spoke softly to the other wizard, telling him that Draco and Narcissa were safe and in the care of the Order, they were not dead or prisoners of Tom Riddle. Some life came to Lucius with that news, and Severus could see relief in the wizard's sunken eyes.

The rest followed much as the newspaper reports had related, with a few additional details. Despite witnessing Percy Weasley's murder, Severus paid close attention to the Dark Lord's next Avada Kedavra, and the way that Potter pushed himself up between himself and Malfoy, seeming to catch the curse in the centre of his chest. He watched as Albus, in the form of a blue-eyed phoenix, appeared and carried away Potter's apparently lifeless body, infuriating the Dark Lord, who aimed his wand at the two. A split second later, the earth shook, throwing the Death Eaters and the Dark Lord to the ground, and despite the seriousness of the scene played out before him, Severus smiled. Young McGonagall had knocked the Dark Lord on his arse with his earthquake spell, which created a large fissure in the green lawn. That was some spell. The memory ended as McGonagall turned, Ginny tossed over one shoulder, and began to run toward the castle.

Severus straightened and looked at Minerva. "I see what you are showing me now. The destruction of the final two Horcruxes and then, I presume, the Dark Lord's actual demise."

Minerva nodded. "I thought that this might help you really feel that he was gone, not just know it intellectually. I hope that...never mind. The next memory is a little longer than the last one, but I thought you would also appreciate seeing Blaise's defiance, and the way that he spoke of you."

Severus didn't say anything, just watching as Minerva restored the memory from the Pensieve, letting it run back into her own memory. He unstoppered the third vial and poured its silvery contents into the Pensieve, then dipped into it. He watched the final confrontation between Harry, Albus, Minerva, and all their accompanying Slytherins...Gamp, Slughorn, Zabini, and close to a dozen other Slytherin students, all stepping forward, united in their support of Potter. He could see other Slytherin students lying scattered on the ground, cursed, but he knew that they had all survived, so he didn't spare his attention on them. Severus looked on as Gareth wounded the Dark Lord with his short dagger, and then he continued to watch as Potter drew out every drop of blood from the shell of Riddle's body, continuing to drain it even after the wizard was dead. Potter, Weasley, Letitia Pepper, and young Baddock stood in a circle to protect the remains from being touched by any Death Eaters, then the memory ended.

"Thank you, Minerva," Severus said, letting out a long breath as Minerva returned the memory to herself. "I do feel more as though he really is dead. I think I can live with this, stop wandering the Forbidden Forest."

"Good. You must understand that Albus was just worried about you. He had concerns about what you might do if you found the spot, though he assures me that it would be very difficult for anyone to find it. He felt badly when he realised it was your fear and desperation that was compelling you to seek it out, not some other sentiment or a desire to gather any of the remains for some purpose."

Severus looked appalled. "He thought I wanted to . . . to keep some of his ashes? Or to make a potion with them?"

"He didn't know. He realises how unlikely that would be, especially after all you've been through. But he thought that you might have believed you could do something . . . positive with them. Albus honestly didn't believe that you had any negative motivations, but that you might have a mistaken idea about something you could do with them."

"Still . . ." Severus shook his head. "If our positions were reversed, I suppose I might have drawn the same conclusions that Albus did, but it's still hard for me to believe that he'd imagine I would want to gather that monster's ashes for any purpose at all."

"He should have talked to you about it, asked you why you were looking for the site."

"Yes, he should have. He always only wants to talk when it suits him, though, you know that."

"I know even better than you do, Severus!" Minerva replied with a brief chuckle. "But I know him well, and I know how to get him to talk about things when I need to discuss them, and not just on his schedule or when he believes it necessary...usually, anyway."

"He's lucky to have you, Minerva."

Minerva smiled. "And I am lucky to have him."

"Indeed," Severus agreed. "We both are, but he can be a bit of a . . . hmm, well. He's got his quirks. He does know now that I have no interest in either keeping or using the remains, doesn't he? Hard to think he'd believe such a thing of me, not after all this time. I thought he trusted me."

"Yes, he knows that, and he does trust you. Albus was simply worried, even afraid for you. I was worried, too, remember. I even tried to get you to talk to me about how you were doing, and you said nothing. You had clearly become obsessed with your trips into the Forest. I'm sure you'll both have an opportunity to come to an understanding, though since he's not back from London yet, I don't think it will be tonight."

"If he gets back soon, send him down to me?"

"Aye, I will do that," Minerva said as she pocketed the vial with Albus's memory in it.

"I doubt I'll sleep much tonight, anyway," Severus said, rising. "I'm glad to have seen that, but it's not precisely a good bedtime story, now, is it?" He quirked a smile.

"Oh, I don't know about that, Severus! You should hear some of the stories Melina enjoyed when she was young...and then her children after her! Some of those stories were positively bloody."

"Kids are funny like that," Severus said.

"There was one they liked that wasn't bloody, and I'd always give it a happy ending for them. Do you know the children of Lir?"

"Lear? Like Cordelia and . . . I don't know the others. Something about the father being the salt in her soup?"

Minerva laughed heartily. "No, you're thinking of King Lear, one of Shakespeare's characters. Though possibly he borrowed from the original Irish or Welsh tale. Let me tell you a pleasant bedtime story, Severus, and we will wait for Albus. Perhaps he will be back by the end of it."

Severus shook his head, chuckling.

"I'm serious, Severus! Let's go out to my office, call Blampa for some hot chocolate or warm peppermint milk and a plate of digestive biscuits, and we can sit by the fire and I'll tell you a story, hmm?"

"All right, whilst we wait," Severus agreed, his eyes smiling. "And someday, I'll tell you one of the stories my dad used to tell me when I was small. There's only one that I remember well, but it was my favourite."

"Oh?" Minerva opened the library door. "What's it about? Anything bloody in it? I'll be soon having a new great-great-nephew to entertain...don't tell Albus that, though: he's convinced it's a girl, silly wizard. I could add your story to my repertoire."

Severus quirked a grin. "There's a bit of everything in it, even space aliens. I'll not give the plot away, though!"

Almost an hour later, feeling more relaxed and somewhat sleepy, his stomach full of warm peppermint milk and digestive biscuits, a flock of swans in silver chains flying through his imagination, Severus headed down to the dungeons. Albus still hadn't returned, but Minerva promised that she would tell him that he wanted him to stop by the next day.

He might have few friends, and no family, Severus thought as he got ready for bed, but he did have Minerva and Albus, and that was better and more than many men had. Even if Albus was occasionally infuriating.

It was still dark when Severus crawled blearily from his bed and staggered out to the sitting room. The banging on the door did not cease. He jerked it open. He blinked.

"Dumbledore? What d'you want?" He rubbed his face and suppressed a yawn. "What time is it?"

"Five-thirty. A good time for what we will be doing."

"I am still asleep. What will we be doing?" Severus asked as Albus stepped into his sitting room.

"Get dressed. It's cold out, so dress warmly. And wear sturdy shoes. We're going into the Forest. It's icy."

"Can I have a cup of coffee first?"

Albus held up bag he'd been carrying slung over one shoulder, and opened it, displaying two flasks. "Hot coffee for you, tea for me. We'll have a bit of breakfast when we get where we're going."

Severus went back into his bedroom and dressed quickly, then followed Albus out of the castle, leaving through the door at the base of the North Tower. They walked in silence for a while; when they had gone a few dozen yards into the Forest, Severus asked, "Are you taking me where I think you are?"

Albus, just ahead of him, nodded. "I needed to speak with Harry about it. We had made a pact, essentially, that neither of us would ever reveal the location to anyone. I explained the situation. He agreed it was . . . appropriate to make an exception in your case." Albus looked over his shoulder at him. "It goes without saying that even the fact that you are aware of the site must remain a secret."

Severus nodded. "Yes, that would be wise."

They walked for twenty more minutes, and Severus found himself quite bewildered. He was very familiar with the Forbidden Forest, and yet it seemed that there were paths, gullies, and steep embankments that he had never encountered before, and in the darkness, the heavy undergrowth and the over-hanging branches of the trees seemed to take on sinister and threatening shapes. He followed the light emitting from Albus's wand and tried to avoid turning his ankle on the slippery leaves and tangled roots in their path. They began to go uphill, and Severus wished he could take the time to cast a charm on his boots to create a better tread.

"Still with me, Severus?" Albus asked softly, turning around. "Now through here, this is the tricky part."

Severus climbed over the large rocks and tree trunks, then slid, almost falling, over the edge of the exposed roots of a large fallen tree into some soft loam in the hollow below, and landed hard on his stomach, his breath knocked out of him. The not-unpleasant odour of mouldering leaves and turned earth was strong, and Severus scrambled out of the hole, looking wildly around for Albus's Lumos. Albus had stopped, though, waiting for him.

"It becomes narrow here, my boy, and it's quite icy. Easy does it. Don't slip."

Severus stood and nodded. Albus led him through a narrow, stony way between some great moss- and lichen-covered rocks that created a natural barrier in front of them, then they emerged on the other side of the boulders, into a small clearing with huge trees on the steep slopes to either side of them, the large rocks behind them, and the side of a craggy, vertical cliff face in front of them.

Albus beckoned to him, and Severus stepped closer, the hair on the back of his neck standing up. A cold, dank breeze came from a narrow crevice in the cliff face.

"There is quite a nice cave here. I used to enjoy visiting it many, many years ago . . . There is another entrance to it, but it's a long system of tunnels and caves, with many great chasms in between here and there, and we are far from the other opening."

"It's in the cave?" Severus asked tentatively.

"Just inside the entrance here, not all of the way in. We raised that stone and moved it aside," Albus said, pointing to a large flat rock that protruded from the entrance of the cavern. "We placed the bag with the remains there, then we incinerated them as thoroughly as possible. There wasn't much flesh left to him after Harry reclaimed what was his, just a bit of skin and sinew stretched tight over bone, and it was a quick job to burn it. I then cast a pulverising spell to grind the ashes and remaining bits of bone to a fine powder. Then we replaced the stone over it all, just as it had been."

Severus stared at the stone and shuddered.

"There is nothing of him left, son," Albus said softly, coming over and placing a hand on Severus's arm. "Nothing but powdered ash and cinder."

Severus nodded.

"Come." Albus tugged on his elbow. "Come."

Albus led him to the stone, and he tapped it with his foot. "This is the site." He searched Severus's face for his reaction. "I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to . . . to spit on his grave or something."

"Be a waste of good spit, don't you think?" Severus said, though his eyes were fixed on the rock in front of them.

Albus smiled. "Let's have our breakfast." He held up the bag. "I had Wilspy pack it for us."

They sat on another flat rock not far from the entrance to the cave. Albus cast a warming charm and spread a picnic blanket on the rock, then handed Severus his flask of hot coffee.

"Wilspy remembered your enjoyment of the bacon butties, so we both have bacon sandwiches to go with our tea and coffee," Albus said. He handed him a wrapped packet with two thick sandwiches in it.

The sky above was growing lighter as sunrise approached. Severus unwrapped his sandwich and took a satisfying bite. It was a strange breakfast spot, but it seemed that as Severus drank his coffee and ate his bacon sandwich, the place was gradually losing its sinister atmosphere.

"Thank you, Albus," he said as he finished his first sandwich.

"Feel better now?"

Severus nodded. "Much better. Especially about . . . your trust in me."

"I am sorry I didn't understand sooner, and I am sorry that I hurt your feelings. I didn't know what was compelling you. I was worried about you. I should have asked why you wanted to know where the site is. It wasn't lack of trust; it was fear for your welfare."

Severus took a bite of his second sandwich and chewed. "A nice spot. Too nice for Riddle, but nice for a picnic."

"Indeed."

The two men finished their breakfast, then packed everything away in Albus's bag. The walk out of the Forbidden Forest took as long as the walk in had taken, but it seemed easier, perhaps because of the approaching dawn, or perhaps because Severus knew now to watch for slippery leaves, slick, rime-covered stone, and jutting tree roots. Or perhaps it was simply because one nightmare, at least, seemed laid to rest.

It was close to eight when the two men reached the Hogwarts grounds, and the sky was growing lighter. Albus was glad that it was a Sunday and he didn't have any duties that day. He said good-bye to Severus in the entrance hall and climbed the stairs to the second floor and the entrance to the Tower, glad to be able to ride up to the office from there. He was feeling every single one of his one hundred fifty-eight years on earth, and although the walk out to the site had initially invigorated him, by the time they returned to the castle, his energy was flagging. When Albus had returned from London at midnight, Minerva had told him he should wait to show Severus the site, do it either late one night during the week or wait until the following weekend, but once Minerva had explained Severus's worries and confided her own concerns to him, Albus didn't want to wait, particularly since he understood that he had hurt Severus with his implications.

Minerva believed that Severus was more fragile than he would allow them to see. She thought that he was still vulnerable, and the stress of having Albus appear to believe that he held some allegiance to Riddle or that he was in danger of becoming fascinated with the Dark Arts again could, Minerva feared, cause him to fall into a black despair. Albus knew that Severus had occasionally felt suicidal during the years after Riddle returned, but his desire for revenge had kept him going even when nothing else would, and the younger wizard would eventually emerge from his despair. With the war over and Severus building new relationships, Albus had believed that Severus was doing well, and he was disturbed to think that Severus might still be in danger of falling into a suicidal depression. Whether Minerva were right about that or not, Albus still had believed it best to show Severus the cremation site sooner rather than later, and close to the time when he had viewed the memories of Riddle's end.

Minerva was in the sitting room drinking her morning tea and reading the Daily Prophet when Albus walked in.

"How did it go?"

Albus nodded. "Well, I think. We had a nice picnic breakfast. He seemed at ease as we ate." He smiled slightly. "He does enjoy Wilspy's bacon sarnies."

"You look knackered."

"I am."

"You should go back to bed for a while."

"No, I think I'll wait until this afternoon and take a nap then." He smiled. "Perhaps the Headmistress might care to join me?"

"I might, at that!" She walked over and gave him a hug. "I think I still need more of a cuddle after seeing that memory of yours last night."

"Glad to oblige, my dear!" Albus kissed her cheek and held her close. He thought he might need a bit of a cuddle, himself.

"Since you're staying up, if you change out of your walking robes now, you could come down to breakfast with me," Minerva said. "You need something to balance out your bacon sandwiches, I'm sure. Some porridge would do you good, and a banana."

"All right, just give me a minute. I really should shower..."

"Why don't we save the shower for after our nap?" She winked. "You might be rested up enough to enjoy my company!"

"I always enjoy your company in the shower, you know that! But I think that is an excellent idea." He stopped in the doorway to the bedroom and turned. "You know, I should go on early morning expeditions more often if they get me an afternoon nap and shower with you after!"

NEXT

Chapter Twenty-Seven: 'Twas the Night Before the Night Before Christmas

Wednesday, 23 December 1998

Severus finds himself hosting a Christmas party, much to his chagrin. And what Hogwarts Christmas party would be complete without a little Charmed mistletoe?

Characters: Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Albus Dumbledore, Twiskett, various Hogwarts staff members

Author's Note: You probably recognized that each of the memories that Severus viewed were scenes from Death's Dominion, Chapters 27, 28, and 29 ("Shall not die windily," "Though they sink through the sea," and "They shall rise again"). Albus and Harry's disposal of Riddle's corpse is alluded to in Chapter 30, "Death shall have no dominion," and in the one-shot, "Enter, Peacetime."

If you're interested in the story that Minerva tells Severus before sending him off to sleep, she bases her story on an actual tale; if you Google "children of Lir" or "children of Llyr," you'll probably find many variants of the original myths.