Chapter Seventy: To Persist and Pursue

Chapter Seventy: To Persist and Pursue

Sunday, 21 March – Monday, 22 March 1999

"He seemed tired," Severus remarked.

"He did, and no doubt he will insist on getting up every few hours to feed Fawkes. Wilspy used to help with Fawkes after he'd had his burning day, but she's getting on, and Albus doesn't like her to have to get up in the middle of the night any longer," Minerva said. "If he'd had that kind of time for a baby . . . but that's neither here nor there. He will not be getting enough sleep tonight, certainly, nor for at least the next few weeks. He worries about me, but he doesn't always take the best care of himself, either. Still, he's in better shape than he was a few years ago, and that's a good thing. I was worried that the healthful effects of the Celebrare wouldn't survive the Arrestocordis and the Adsumo, not to mention Albus having to Polyjuice himself for over a year. But they seem to have lingered, just as our bond did."

"Indeed. However, you should take care of yourself, as well, Headmistress. We can leave our game for another time."

"Nonsense! If you are to make any progress, you need to at least finish the game we have underway," Minerva said. "And it's not yet very late."

Severus nodded and resumed his seat. Poppy hadn't returned yet...at least, not that he had seen. He had chosen the chair he had because, if he stretched a bit, it had a view of the gates. Still, he could have missed her return. Nonetheless, he did think that concentrating on the game was better than thinking about Poppy and what she was doing out with Quin for the evening, and certainly better than staring unceasingly at the gates until her return. Not that he would do that. He'd just think about doing it.

They were playing on only part of the board whilst Severus learned the game, which made it go much faster, and it only took another ten minutes for Minerva to capture the last of Severus's stones.

"Another game?" Minerva asked.

Severus shrugged and stretched a bit, trying to look casual about it as he snuck a glance out the window again. This time, he could see two indistinct figures down just beyond the gates, only silhouettes flickering in the torchlight illuminating the path up to the castle. One was certainly Poppy, though. Her companion, a much taller wizard, seemed to tower over her. Quin MacAirt.

When Severus didn't respond to her invitation, Minerva turned to look out the window, standing to see what he was looking at. Severus dropped his pretence of disinterest and rose, as well. He stepped toward the window just as the taller figure bent toward the smaller one. For a moment, the shadows merged, then they slowly separated. Severus blinked and swallowed hard. Minerva touched his arm lightly and left her fingertips gently resting there. The two down by the gate seemed to speak for a moment more, then the taller figure bent once more swiftly before stepping back. Poppy opened the gate and stepped through. After she had closed the gate behind her, the other figure disappeared, and Poppy began to walk back up toward the castle.

"She didn't invite him back up to the castle with her," Minerva said, looking up at Severus as he watched Poppy through the window.

"Is that supposed to be encouraging?" Severus asked with a sigh. He turned away from the window, then looked back over at Minerva. "Do you mean that she did invite him up the other night?"

Minerva sat back down, tilting her head and twitching one shoulder noncommitally.

"Wonderful." Severus slouched morosely into his chair, thinking about what that might mean. "Their parting was . . . warm."

"Quin kisses me good-night, as well," Minerva said lightly. "It doesn't necessarily mean there's anything . . . serious going on there."

Severus remembered the bearhug the other wizard had given Minerva at the Hogwarts Victory Feast, and the enthusiastic kiss...which he had been surprised to see Dumbledore smiling at, but then the two wizards had also embraced. "Hmmph. It's not the same, though, is it? MacAirt knows you and Dumbledore are together, so it's just friendly with you, but with Poppy . . . it's different. And they've dated before."

"Of course. Although Quin and I, if things had been different between Albus and me, perhaps there might have been something there. If Poppy were with you...or someone else...Quin would respect that, I assure you, and yet he might still greet her warmly and give her a kiss good-bye. So don't read too much into what you just saw. And although they may have dated casually before, I'm not sure that either of them is looking at this as the beginning of a serious relationship."

"But you're not sure they aren't, either," Severus said.

"True. But I still think my advice the other night was sound. Be patient and be persistent."

"Even if she tells me she's not interested? Being persistent then . . . I don't want to become an unwelcome presence in her life."

"Has she said she's not interested?"

"Well . . ." Severus thought a moment. "I don't know . . . when we first . . . that first night . . . she said that it was just the one night, you know, and so did I. And then that it was just . . . just what it was. A fling. But since then, no, I don't think she's actually said she's not interested. But today she said she wanted us to be friends, that she wants to be a good friend to me. And if she were interested in more with me, why would she be going out with Quin? On dates? And don't try to tell me they aren't dates, Minerva. I don't care how Quin may kiss you good-night now, or whether you two might have once dated, or whether the two of them were or were not dating seriously in the past, or any of that. He kisses her good-night now, and they are dates."

"Very well, but that doesn't mean they're serious about each other, and they are old friends, after all. You still may have a chance with her, if you want to take it. Of course, you could just give up. Simply concede. It would certainly be easier than putting in the effort to woo her. And safer for you, too. No more risk of rejection if you take that path."

Severus frowned. "I know what you're trying to do, Minerva. Not very subtle."

"I wasn't trying to be subtle," Minerva said with a smirk. "I was trying to goad you."

"You shouldn't do that in the mood I've been in."

Minerva chuckled. "I know you, Severus! So what are you going to do?"

"I'm not going to play another game of Go with you tonight," Severus said, standing. "As to what I am going to do . . . I don't know, precisely. But I'm not going to concede. Not yet. I just . . . I just . . ." He blinked, hot tears rising in his eyes as he suddenly felt a great sense of imminent loss. "The way I feel now . . . I don't know how I could cope if she chose him over me. Or if she simply chose . . . anything other than being with me," he added softly, his voice hitching.

Minerva rose and put her arms around him. "It will be all right, no matter what. Really."

Severus held her and turned his face into her hair, letting his tears finally leak out. "It's just all hard, too much . . ." he whispered, his voice rough.

"You're tired and you're overwhelmed. It has been a difficult year for you," Minerva said softly, patting his back. "There have been a lot of changes in your life, positive ones, for the most part, but it's still not easy. But you have friends, and we're here. I'm here."

"I know, and I'm sorry, Minerva. I shouldn't burden you with these foolish problems, and I'm sorry I was unpleasant earlier. And . . ." Severus took in a shuddering breath and let it out. "And I will meet with you and Moody. You were right. It was decent of him to talk to Teller about the fire and the boy."

"Good. We want to keep you safe, Severus, so that you can enjoy your future."

The two heard a movement on the stairs at the back of the office, and Severus let Minerva go, turning quickly away and wiping his face with one hand. Minerva looked back and saw Albus in his nightshirt and dressing gown.

"I'm sorry, my dear. I thought I'd just see how Fawkes is doing," Albus said softly. "I didn't mean to interrupt."

"It's fine..."

"I was just leaving," Severus said, clearing his throat.

"Is everything all right?" Albus asked, coming all the way down the stairs.

"Yes," Severus said quickly as he turned toward him, his face blank. "I'm simply . . . tired."

"It's been a stressful week," Minerva added.

"Ah, the attacks, and the latest one on Lucius," Albus said with a nod. "It cannot be an easy thing, now that you have a new life, and thinking the dangers from your previous life were finally past, to discover that after all you've been through, you may become the target of some sadly deranged person. But someday this will all be past, as well, dear boy." Albus patted his arm. "I hope that you do not become discouraged by this new development."

Severus nodded. "Thank you, Albus. I shall try to remain . . . focussed on what I may do to shape my future rather than on those things over which I have little control."

"That's the spirit! And I have something for you to look forward to," Albus said with a smile. "I'm sending out invitations later this week, but I'll let you know now so you have something pleasurable to anticipate."

"Invitation?" Severus asked, not seeing Minerva shake her head slightly at Albus.

Ignoring Minerva, Albus continued, "Yes, I'm having a little dinner party...we are, that is...on the third. Just a few friends, family, a few of your colleagues. It will be a very pleasant diversion for you, I am sure!"

"Well, I, of course, I . . ."

"Good! It will be a convivial occasion, and you'll be able to forget your worries for a while in some enjoyable company."

"The third . . . Saturday," Severus said.

"Yes, two weeks from yesterday," Albus confirmed. "You haven't anything else planned for that evening, have you, my boy? Because if you have..."

"No, I haven't," Severus admitted. "I shall . . . anticipate it, then. Thank you, Albus."

"Excellent! A few friendly colleagues, some very lovely witches...you know most of them, I believe, Severus...and a few old friends."

"Witches..." Severus began, frowning, remembering Albus's previous attempts to match him up with someone.

"Just friends and family, Severus! Friends and family!" the older wizard said brightly. "I hope Gareth will be there as well, so it won't be all old folks like us, if you're concerned about that."

"Ah, well . . . Thank you again, Albus." Severus turned toward Minerva. "Good night, Minerva. Thank you for the lessons this evening."

"We'll do it again soon," Minerva said. "I enjoyed it."

As he was about to place his foot on the first step of the spiral staircase, he could hear Minerva saying something to Albus, but the heavy door prevented him from hearing what she was saying. He hoped she wouldn't tell him about his various disasters with women. No doubt that would provoke even further attempts on Albus's part to set him up with someone. Of course, he had once mentioned Poppy, so at least Albus recognised her finer attributes and had some sense about the sort of witch he might find acceptable. In fact, none of the witches Albus had suggested were completely unsuitable, with the possible exception of Rosmerta; that one still puzzled him. But he didn't want Albus trying to arrange his romantic life, no matter how well-intentioned he was or how good his taste in witches...even though he was doing very badly on his own.

Reaching the entrance hall, Severus heard familiar quick footsteps coming from the side corridor that led to the kitchens and to the Hufflepuff dormitories. He had assumed that Poppy would have been in her suite by this point. He hesitated slightly, then he made his decision.

He was waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs when she appeared.

"Severus!"

"Poppy," Severus replied with a slight nod.

"I just got in a little while ago," Poppy said. "I had to stop by Pomona and let her know. She was keeping an eye on the infirmary for me."

"Indeed."

"Yes . . . so, on your way back down to the dungeons? Or doing rounds?" Poppy asked.

"I thought I might escort you to the Hospital Wing, if you would allow me the honour."

"You came up to do that? How did you know I had returned?"

Severus shook his head. "I happened to be returning to my own rooms when I heard you in the corridor. I thought I would wait for you." He hoped that wasn't too direct and didn't sound either overly sentimental or at all predatory.

Poppy smiled. "Thank you. In fact, I had wanted to speak with you. I thought it would have to wait until tomorrow evening."

Severus's eyebrows raised.

"Yes . . ." Poppy started up the stairs beside Severus. "I know you don't know Quin well..."

"I believe we had this discussion earlier. I am sure he is a fine wizard and a gentleman, just as you say," Severus interrupted, not wanting to discuss MacAirt's finer qualities with her, and hoping that she didn't want to tell him that she'd decided to embark upon an affair of some sort with him.

"It's not about that, although I'm glad to hear you say that," Poppy replied. "Quin has a sort of unusual ability...many in his family do, although Alroy isn't particularly gifted that way...but Quin has a kind of extra sense, a type of divinatory talent. Among other things, he's quite . . . empathic. If you're experiencing a strong emotion when he's nearby, he's likely to sense it even if you are concealing it from others, and if he touches you when you're . . . you're particularly affected by something, he can get a sense of that, too."

Severus remembered MacAirt's hand on his arm, his puzzlement, and his question. "The man touched me."

"Yes, and..."

"The man touched me. What business did he have doing such a thing?" Severus asked, stopping on the steps, outraged. "How would he like to have me perform Legilimency on him without his permission? Your assessment of his character leaves a lot to be desired, if that's the sort of wizard he is..."

"It isn't like Legilimency, Severus," Poppy said gently, touching his elbow and continuing up the stairs with him. "He just picked it up from you. It wasn't intentional on his part. You were feeling extreme hostility, he said, and he thought it was directed toward him. I wanted to tell you so that you are aware of his ability and can take care in the future."

"Hmph. He shouldn't touch people, then, particularly uninvited."

"He's very tactile, very affectionate. And normally, he wouldn't have sensed anything much at all, even if he'd touched you, but apparently you were . . . quite loud. He was very concerned that he'd done something to offend you."

"I cannot help that," Severus said gruffly, but aware that he had already started off on a bad note at a time when he should be trying to impress her, he added, "Naturally, had I been aware of his ability, I would have made an attempt to avoid having him place his hand upon me."

Poppy just chuckled at that. "That will do, I suppose. I explained to him that you were having a bad afternoon and that your feelings were likely not directed specifically toward him."

"Hmph. Did he believe you?" Severus asked, curious about the extent of wizard's ability.

"He may have. He didn't pursue the topic and neither did I."

"Did you have a good evening, then?" Severus doubted that the answer was 'no,' but he didn't want to be in the dark if he was going to be competing with this seemingly perfect specimen of wizardry.

"It was quite pleasant. We went to the Three Broomsticks for dinner, then he showed me his new place in London. It's all done up Muggle, with all the latest Muggle contraptions. They were quite something, Severus! You would think they were all charmed!"

He had brought her back to his place. No wonder she hadn't invited him up. They'd already had that part of their evening. Severus felt his heart sink, but he focussed on remaining expressionless.

"We watched a film," Poppy continued. "He has his . . . his audio equipment," she said carefully, "connected to the television. It's like going to the cinema. He has a really big telly, and there are speakers everywhere."

"Hmph. I prefer books to television. My father said television limits the imagination." Of course, he'd probably only said that because they didn't have one. His mother didn't want one in the house. Severus had originally believed it was simply because his grandfather disliked Muggle contraptions, but he later decided that his mother simply didn't want him exposed to so many Muggle ideas...sending him to school was bad enough, but at least that had the advantage of getting him out of the house and out from under foot.

"Well, it was fun. You may have enjoyed this film...it wasn't anything deeply intellectual, far from it, but it was enjoyable. A spy movie, Tomorrow Never Dies. The actor looks a lot like a younger Quin. Of course, Quin didn't see the resemblance at all. I couldn't really follow the plot, which I don't think was very realistic, but they had these magical effects they do using . . . gadgets and explosions and things. And there were all these different vehicles! Quin has a car almost like the one in the film, but it doesn't drive itself, he says."

"I am pleased you enjoyed the video," Severus said, suppressing a smile as he realised that if they were watching the film, they weren't in bed together. He supposed the two weren't actually mutually exclusive, but it seemed unlikely. And as Minerva had said, it wouldn't be appropriate for him to expect her to give up her friends. He certainly wouldn't like it if Poppy were to tell him that he could no longer be friends with someone. Not that he had many friends . . . but he hoped that he and Hermione would remain friends, and he couldn't imagine cutting Minerva from his life, or Gareth or Albus, for that matter. "It is good that he can now spend time with you and you can . . . reestablish your friendship."

Poppy smiled up at him. "I'm glad you understand, Severus. Especially after what Quin said about running into you..."

"I will admit I was displeased that he was taking you to dinner and not I, and . . . and that I do not wish to compete with him for your attention. But I also do not wish you to be deprived of your friendships, either."

Poppy's smile grew, and she reached out and touched his arm as if to take it before dropping her hand. "I certainly can't blame you for having feelings about such things...ones you had expected to remain private, after all...but I'm relieved we won't be at odds about it."

Severus nodded in acknowledgement. If he were successful and did continue to see Poppy, he thought he would have to enlist her help in keeping him from being an unreasonable bastard. In the meantime, he'd simply struggle with his jealousy on his own and work at controlling himself.

"Did you have a nice evening? Did you get out at all?" Poppy asked.

Severus shook his head. "I stayed in. However, I spent the evening with the Headmistress, and that was pleasant. She is teaching me to play Go."

Poppy chuckled. "Go? How did you find it?"

"A peculiar sort of game, but challenging. Do you play?"

Poppy shook her head. "I know how, but I don't play. That is to say, it was rather popular amongst some of the staff for a while, and I learned the game, but I never played it much. I think that Albus and Filius are the only ones who still play, although Minerva is fairly good at it, I believe. There are other games I enjoy more," she said as they reached the Hospital Wing and her quarters.

"I can think of a few right now," Severus said softly, a slight smile on his face.

"You are incorrigible, Severus," Poppy replied with a laugh, her hand on the doorknob. "We're still meeting tomorrow after dinner, aren't we?"

Severus nodded.

"I worked some on a pamphlet for the staff today, as we'd discussed. I want to have the final draft finished before I leave on holiday, since then after I return, there will only be a few days before we begin the staff training. I thought I could give you my draft tomorrow. If you could read it over for me by Friday and give me your comments, I'd have time to make revisions before I leave."

"Of course. I know almost nothing about the subject, however."

"That's actually better. You can tell me whether it makes sense and would be useful to someone who isn't a professional. I'm also going to have Gladys read it over for accuracy before we distribute it."

"Very well. Your office tomorrow at seven, then?"

"That would be fine, unless you'd prefer to meet in your office."

Severus shook his head. He'd still done nothing to improve the atmosphere of his office, and he wanted at least to move his specimen jars into a storage cupboard before he met with her there. "Your office."

"Good. Thank you for your company, Severus."

He nodded. "Good night, Poppy. Sleep well." He glanced quickly toward the empty corridor, then he reached out and caressed her cheek. "Sleep well . . ."

Severus bent and gently kissed her cheek, then her lips, lingering a moment, his hand cupping her cheek warmly. Slowly he drew back and looked down into her eyes. "Sleep well, and when you fall asleep, think of me . . . think of me dreaming of you." He kissed her once more lightly, then stepped back.

"Good night, Severus," Poppy whispered, watching as he turned and walked quickly away.

"Professor McGonagall!" Poppy called down the corridor to her friend, who stopped and turned at the head of the stairs and waited, the students streaming past her on their way down to dinner.

"Madam Pomfrey," Minerva said with a nod as the matron approached.

"I thought I'd sit with you during dinner," Poppy said when she caught up with her.

"So Professor Snape spoke with you," Minerva said as they began down the stairs together.

Poppy nodded. "We were supposed to have a meeting after dinner, but this morning, he told me those plans would have to be changed."

Minerva nodded slightly. "He told you why, I presume."

"Only very briefly. We haven't had a chance to speak. He just stopped me at breakfast and mentioned it then."

"I believe he does not plan to be away from the castle long," Minerva replied. More softly, she said, "I certainly hope he is not late and that he doesn't tarry anywhere."

Poppy looked up at Minerva questioningly. "He said it was school business, House business, and that he'd tell me more later."

"Mm, it is," Minerva said. A boy skidded to a stop, almost running into the matron as he careened around a turn on a landing, causing Poppy to jump aside.

"You there, hold up!" Minerva called out sharply as the boy darted past them. "Timothy Hutchins! Pay some heed to where you're going. And I believe you owe the matron an apology."

"Sorry, ma'am." Red-faced, the first-year Gryffindor turned to Poppy. "Sorry, Madam Pomfrey. Wasn't watching where I was going. Sorry, ma'am."

"Pay more attention in the future, Mr Hutchins," Minerva admonished. "And I do hope that you pay better attention to where you are going in life than you do when you are hurtling yourself down the stairs. Two points from Gryffindor for lack of attention to one's elders and one point from Gryffindor for running on the stairs...if they were to disappear suddenly, you'd be in a sorry state!...and two points to Gryffindor for a respectful apology."

Timothy thought for a moment, doing the math in his head. He smiled sheepishly. "I'll pay more attention, Headmistress."

"See that you do."

"You didn't need to take points, Minerva," Poppy said softly after Timothy had trotted down the stairs ahead of them...at a slightly less breakneck pace. "He didn't run into me."

"Mmm. But he is headstrong. More than that, he is generally heedless of the effect his actions might have on others. Not in a mean-spirited way, simply . . . clueless. Head in the clouds all the time."

"I see," Poppy replied. "But you were saying about Severus?"

Minerva shook her head slightly. "Let's wait until we are at dinner, hmm?"

A few minutes later, Poppy, sitting in Severus's usual seat, looked up at Minerva and asked again, "What were you saying about Severus? You sounded concerned."

"He is paying a visit to Mr Newman's mother, then after that, I believe he will likely see his father," Minerva said.

"Was he the one on Friday, then?" Poppy asked softly.

Minerva nodded. "And Mr Newman's mother asked that Severus pay them a visit. Her husband is still in St. Mungo's, I believe."

"Ah, I see. He shouldn't be too late, then. I hope he eats," Poppy said.

"Doubtful. But are you meeting when he gets back? You could have your house-elf bring sandwiches for him. He is partial to roast beef, I believe."

"Yes, I'd noticed. He should have a hot meal, though, especially after Apparating," Poppy replied. "You still haven't said why you sounded concerned. Are you . . . is he in some danger? Surely whoever is doing these attacks recognises that Severus is a war hero."

"Not necessarily. They could believe him merely clever and lucky. I am concerned." Minerva lowered her voice further. "The last target before Lucius was Sheldon Huffy."

"Sheldon? But . . . I've never heard of him being associated with Death Eaters," Poppy said, puzzled. "And wasn't he one of the guards who was injured that night at Azkaban last spring?"

"Apparently, the attacker combined his presence at Azkaban the night of the prison break with the fact that he is married to a Rosier whose brothers were both Death Eaters, and then came to the conclusion that Huffy was guilty by association." Minerva glanced over at Vector, who was speaking with Cahill about the use of retrodictive Arithmancy in the analysis of wizarding battles. "It's not been in the newspapers," she whispered, "but the attacker has been leaving notes at the scenes, and sometimes sending owls to victims just prior to an attack. The Ministry has also received owls from the person...they think it's just one person, possibly two people, though they identify themselves as a group...and the Quibbler has received one, too. They didn't publish it, at the request of the Ministry."

"Why not?" Poppy asked. "It could warn people that if they get strange letters, they might become the next target. They could take precautions."

"The Ministry doesn't want to fuel any sympathy some may have for this person's 'cause,'" Minerva replied. "Some of the language in the letter to the Quibbler was apparently very incendiary. There are a lot of people out there who suffered at the hands of Riddle and his crew. They also don't want the person who's doing it to feel justified or important."

"Has Severus received one of those letters?" Poppy asked with sudden alarm.

"Shhh. No. He hasn't," Minerva said. "But Moody . . . he said that he thinks that one of the references in the second letter to the Ministry is about Severus, although it didn't mention him specifically by name."

"Does Severus know? He shouldn't be going anywhere..."

"He is sufficiently aware, and we are meeting with Moody on Saturday. Alastor is going to do more investigation in the meantime. And you know Severus. He balks at the idea of being confined to the castle, even if it's for his own protection."

Poppy nodded, though her expression was worried. "Too many years of being in a metaphorical straightjacket. I understand that, but he still shouldn't be going anywhere, let alone visiting known Death Eaters. That could add fuel to the vigilante's twisted imaginings. And he certainly shouldn't be leaving the castle unaccompanied."

"Mr Newman was with him. His mother is in a secure location, so Newman has to bring him by Side-Along."

"Lovely. As if Severus weren't sufficiently a target without being seen in public with a Death Eater's son, no matter how innocent Draco may be."

"Don't you worry about him, too," Minerva said. "I'll do all the worrying that needs to be done, at least on that score. You just . . ." Minerva hesitated. "Give him his sandwiches when he returns. Don't fuss over him too much. And I don't think he would appreciate knowing that I discussed my concerns for his welfare with you. His reaction was bad enough when I asked him not to leave the castle for the time being. If you fussed over him, too, he's likely take it amiss, possibly rebel completely. He has agreed to let me know when he leaves and when he expects to return and to send a Patronus should he be delayed. That will have to suffice."

Poppy poked at her dinner. She didn't know why she'd taken any of the steak and kidney pie. She didn't like it on the best of days, and now that it sat there in its congealing gravy, it was even more unappetizing than usual.

"I think I'll wait and eat with Severus when he returns," she said, pushing her plate away. "I haven't much of an appetite at the moment."

"I'm sorry if I upset you. I am sure that Severus can take care of himself," Minerva said. "He's also forewarned, he survived as a spy for years, and he has his wand up his sleeve and knows how to use it. Besides, I don't think this person is really very clever. He has attacked most of the people at home, just as they were coming or going from work or some other regularly scheduled activity."

"Not Lucius, though, surely...how did he even find him? I don't even know where he lives. Draco's home address doesn't appear in any of my records this year. That sounds pretty clever to me, Minerva, finding him and being able to firebomb the house."

"It wasn't particularly effective, from what Moody tells me. And finding him wouldn't be difficult if the person knew who Narcissa was...and who doesn't know who she is, even if they haven't met her? She was working in Furculum Way, and she would usually walk all of the way home since she couldn't Apparate directly into the house because of Ministry wards and there wasn't any convenient hidden corner nearby to Apparate to without being seen by Muggles. Someone would only have to follow her from the shop on her way home one day. Not so clever as it may seem, Poppy. And Severus's home is Hogwarts, one of the most secure places you could find. Don't worry too much."

"But you are."

Minerva shrugged. "Of course I am. But we're doing what we can."

"Now I'm going to worry until I see him," Poppy said fretfully.

Minerva twitched a slight smile. "You're rather fond of him, I know. Listen, why don't we have dessert together up in your sitting room. I'll wait with you."

Poppy brightened. "I'd like that."

A half hour later, Poppy was serving Minerva Florentines and tea. "They're some that Severus brought me yesterday. They're from Puddifoot's."

"Mmm, I haven't had a Florentine in a long time. So . . . Severus is bringing you presents?" Minerva asked as she helped herself to a biscuit.

Poppy blushed. "It was sweet of him."

"Very." Minerva sipped her tea. "So do you have plans to see Quin again any time soon?"

Poppy shook her head. "Nothing definite. He's quite busy, and I . . . well, I just . . . I don't think that Quin has it in mind that we're dating, but I don't want him to begin thinking that way. I, um . . . I did tell him last night, well, not in so many words, you understand, but I indicated that I thought we oughtn't become . . . used to any intimacy between us."

"No more Irish, straight up?" Minerva asked with a naughty smirk.

"Well, no. It's not that it wasn't wonderful. And if things were different, if the timing were different, I doubt I would have said anything at all, just let things play out, you know? We've had a comfortable relationship. Pleasant. Warm. And he's an incredibly sensitive lover . . . not that you want to know that, I'm sure. But after I saw Severus yesterday evening, I just felt it would be best not to open up things with Quin. And he was fine with that. As I say, he's very busy these days, anyway. I don't think he had any expectations."

"So you're interested in seeing Severus again, then?"

Poppy shook her head and chewed her Florentine.

"What, then?" Minerva asked, puzzled.

"It's just that Severus was so clearly crushed that I was going out with Quin, that I might have a date with someone else, and I just don't want him hurt. It's not that I won't see Quin, of course. That would be silly. But until Severus has moved on, it's kinder not to begin dating someone else, I think. Easier on him. He's very sensitive."

"And this has nothing to do with wanting to date Severus yourself?" Minerva asked sceptically.

"I . . . I don't know if that's really what I want, or even if it's what Severus wants," Poppy replied. "It's for the best if Severus and I remain just friends."

"Why?"

"Aren't you the one who was so disapproving and cautionary when you learned that Severus and I had been together that first time?" Poppy asked. "It should be obvious."

"It's not," Minerva said bluntly. "You two enjoy each other's company, you're clearly . . . physically compatible, he's interested in more than just a brief fling. I wouldn't say that it's at all obvious why you two should remain only friends. Not to say that Severus hasn't got his share of problems, but you knew that before you went to him that first time."

"And if I had been thinking clearly, I wouldn't have," Poppy said. "I'm not saying that I regret it precisely, but for so many reasons, I see now that I shouldn't have."

"Then why did you? I know you don't normally hop into bed with any wizard who expresses interest, so why Severus?"

"We have had this discussion already, Minerva. I really don't want to rehash everything," Poppy said crossly. "I didn't set out for him to become . . . fixated on me. I am hardly an alluring seductress. And I do wish you wouldn't refer to it as 'hopping into bed.' It sounds so . . ."

"All right, all right. But I don't think you need to regret it. And I also wouldn't describe Severus as 'fixated.' There are more pleasant...and apt...terms for it."

"'Obsessed' is hardly pleasant. And I don't think it's gone to that extreme yet," Poppy said, picking up her teacup.

"I would not have chosen that word, either. And I believe 'besotted' may be a bit too strong, but may I suggest . . . enamoured, perhaps?"

"How?" Poppy shook her head. "I can't allow myself to believe any such thing, Minerva. It'd be opening myself up to a world of trouble, I'm sure." She glanced up at her clock. "And where is he? I thought he'd be back by now."

"A world of trouble? Or worry? You're worried already, so I don't think that dating him would make that any worse. And you could keep him happy here at Hogwarts with no need to leave the castle..."

"Is that what you're after? For me to 'keep him happy'?"

"No, no, no, it's just something to consider." Minerva rolled her eyes. "For Merlin's sake, Poppy! I'm just trying to point out that you both enjoyed yourselves together, you like each other, you obviously care a lot about him, and he wants to see more of you! Why not go ahead? I know that he has his rough side, and he's got a few . . . character flaws that rather need work, but I'm sure you can handle it. He's trying very hard." Minerva held up her second Florentine. "And these are delicious! How can you turn down a wizard who brings you Florentines from Puddifoot's, I ask you!"

Poppy laughed slightly. "He was very sweet to bring them. He said he'd been thinking about me . . . but what happens when he stops bringing me Florentines, Minerva? When he stops thinking about me? When he wakes up, looks around him, and sees a world full of younger, more talented, more intelligent witches? Ones who aren't sentimental Hufflepuffs, to boot? No, I appreciate that he does care for me, and that it does seem to go beyond the, um, physical, but it just wouldn't be a good idea, for either of us."

"Look, you never know where something might lead, Poppy. Is it because it's Severus, then? Because of his past and . . . well, to put it kindly, some of his previous, more egregious character flaws? Because if that is the case, I do understand, and I think it could be difficult to overcome that. If you are hesitating because of that, I won't press any longer, I promise."

Poppy sighed. "I'd say 'yes' just to get you off my back, but I can't. It isn't that. Of course, that does loom in the background somewhere, but it isn't something I have given much thought. That Severus Snape seems a very distant person, and I don't think about it when we're together."

"But when you're apart?"

"No, not then, either. Probably foolish of me, ignoring an entire side of him, but . . . it's not as though I was closely acquainted with that younger man. I think I'd seen Severus on the street twice between his leaving Hogwarts and his joining the staff a couple years later. I presume he did some fairly nasty things as a Death Eater, and back in his early years on staff, he wasn't a very nice person to be around. Well, for a while. But then as time went on, I suppose he became accustomed to us and we to him. Not that he became a very sociable colleague, but he seemed simply moody and bad-tempered, and not a, um, a Death Eater."

Minerva chuckled. "No, not particularly sociable. And he's still not the most amiable of men."

"He's perfectly all right, Minerva," Poppy said defensively. "He does have some quirks, of course, and his acidity is sometimes a bit much to take, but he's a lot better than he used to be. And he can be very sweet. And look how well he did with Ginny Weasley! Out of all of her teachers...and her own Head of House...Severus is the one who talked to her and got her to tell him about her nightmares and the things that were bothering her. He has some very positive qualities."

"I know that. I'm glad to see that you recognise them, too. So if it's not his past or his bad temper, what is it?"

"Hmm?"

"You say he's sweet to you. You clearly enjoy his company, you're intimately compatible...and to such a degree you found it hard to resist him even in the beginning...so why aren't you going to see him?"

"I can hardly avoid seeing him...all right, all right! I do know what you mean," Poppy said in response to Minerva's raised eyebrow. "But it's as I said before, and as you warned me in the beginning: I could be hurt. I don't want to be hurt. There it is. Not a proud admission, but true. I think Severus is just confused. Look at his life for the past several years. Hardly an easy one, and certainly not filled with friends, let alone lovers. It's . . . it's as though he's on the rebound, Minerva. And you know what they say about not getting involved with a wizard on the rebound."

"I don't think it's the same thing at all," Minerva replied. "But you have to do what you think best, of course. And if your feelings for him simply aren't strong enough to warrant taking a risk that he's not as confused as you think he is...at least, not where you're concerned...then I think cooling things off more is probably for the best. Better not to get his hopes up and then have him hurt even more later when you break things off again." She sighed and looked at the clock. "He should be back soon. He said he'd send a Patronus if he were going to be any later than eight-thirty, and it's almost that."

"I told him I'd be in my office," Poppy said, standing up. "I wouldn't want him to get back and think I'd forgotten, or that I didn't wait for him."

Minerva smiled. "Do reconsider, Poppy. I think you'll be glad to give him a chance, even if it doesn't work out in the long run."

"Don't even think about the long run," Poppy said. "There couldn't be one. But . . . perhaps you're right. Maybe spending a little more time with him wouldn't be a bad thing, at least for now. I'll see how things go. Perhaps I am simply over-thinking everything. It just scares me a little, that's all."

"So you do feel strongly for him?"

"I don't know as I'd say strongly, but yes, I haven't felt like this in years. If ever. But Severus and his unexpected vulnerability scare me, the thought of being hurt by him scares me, I even scare me, sometimes! I had thought all of the passion had gone out of my life. I was happy with my life . . . I am happy."

"Why did you go down to him that night, Poppy?" Minerva asked softly. "I've been thinking about that."

Poppy shook her head. "It's not what you think, Minerva. I didn't realise . . . I didn't know. I hadn't thought about him before, not in that way. There would have been no point in even daydreaming about him. I just . . . yes, all right, I did feel something for him before, but I was honest with you when I said I never thought anything about him that way. He was completely unreachable, an impossibility. I didn't realise that I could feel this way about him . . ."

"So you are in love with him, then."

"No. Just . . . possibly. A little. Please don't say anything to him. Please, Minerva."

"Shush, of course I won't! But don't deprive yourself, or him, of the possibility that this could be very good for you both, simply because you're afraid of what you feel."

"I'll consider it, Minerva. I'll just see how things go, as I told you. But I really don't want to talk about it any more." She glanced at the clock. "Especially not now. I have to be in my office to meet him. He should be here at any moment, if nothing's happened to him."

NEXT

Chapter Seventy-One: Descent into Hades

Severus pays a visit.

Characters: Severus Snape, Draco Malfoy Newman, Lucius Malfoy, and others

Author's Note: In case you missed it, I posted a new addition to the RaMverse last week, a one-shot called, "The Sunshine of Kindness." It's here on TPP and on my website at WordPress. It's set in the summer of 1995 and has got Remus, Sirius, and Molly in it. You might enjoy it!

Thank you for your reviews!