Chapter 41

Later, after every one went home, Ginny went to sleep on the bed next to Harry. Ginny had hardly slept at all since Severus' first attempt at waking Harry. She'd barely been able to keep her eyes open after the crowd had left, so Hermione had told her to sleep. 

Harry had wanted to go home, but Healer Strout had talked him into staying another day. He wasn't strong enough yet, and she wanted to create a plan of physical therapy strength training the next morning.  He would need this plan before he could really do much on his own. He'd agreed as long as Ginny was able to stay with him.

Harry was propped up on the bed with a bunch of pillows, and his hand was entwined with the sleeping Ginny's at his side.

Harry admitted to them, "Everything was so confusing with all the others here. I could barely understand any of it. Hagrid came once a month and cried until I was sopping wet." He shuddered.

Hermione laughed at Harry's description, and Severus grimaced.

"But I do know about most of it...what happened at the end of the war, what happened to all of us, and what happened to Ron..." Harry's voice trailed off for a moment.

Hermione stood next to the bed and held Harry as he cried, and she cried with him as they mourned a good friend who had been with them since childhood.

Severus watched them comfort each other. He had to push away the jealousy that he felt; part of him wondered if Hermione loved Harry more than him. He knew intellectually it was a different love, but the crippled emotional man he had been for years did not want to share. He considered that maybe these feelings were Raven's.  Raven had never met Harry and may have felt threatened by the love Hermione had for Harry.  After all, she had chosen to allow Raven to be sacrificed for the good of Harry. Severus was intelligent enough to know that Hermione had understood that he and Raven were the same man, yet Raven wouldn't have realized that.  Severus squirmed as he watched the scene in front of him. He was not comfortable with the affection between the two people before him, and he became angry.

Hermione finally backed away from Harry and gave Severus a concerned look.

Severus felt his face heat up. Had she caught some of his thoughts? Had he been broadcasting his jealousy through their link?  He knew she could get angry with him over his jealousy.  The idea of fighting with her made his stomach turn.

When Hermione came to him and snuggled against him, he relaxed, knowing she understood. Hermione knew he had his memories back, but he still did not have total control of his emotions. Harry had continued to talk as Severus had thought about his feelings

Harry continued, "I was conscious the entire time, but I was unable to move. Thank God, Ginny told me lots of things and read me stories from The Prophet, The Quibbler, and of course Quidditch magazines. I would have gone insane without her being here every day."

Hermione reached out to cover Harry's other hand with hers. "Harry, forgive me for not being here.  I want to tell you what happened to me."  She took a deep breath and plunged ahead. "We had so much to occupy our minds in the pursuit of ridding the world of Voldemort that I never had time to just relax before the final battle. Afterwards, you were placed here, and Ron was dead. I went home to live with my parents and got a job in a Muggle video store.  I just needed time to distance myself and ground myself again." Tears filled her eyes as she brought the memories up. "Harry, my parents were killed."

"Oh, Merlin, Hermione, I'm so sorry." He squeezed her hand tightly, his eyes tearing up again. "I wish I had been here for you.  I know Ginny left some things out.  She knew if I heard about the horrible things that happened to some of our friends, it would hinder my recovery, and she may have been right.  It was hard enough as it was, but to have known all the pain everyone was in might have driven me nuts. Please go on," he said gently.

She nodded, sat back against Severus and continued. "I found them in our house. They were hanging in the air by some unseen spell, like horrible marionettes on strings.  They had death masks on. You have no idea how gruesome it was. There was blood everywhere, and the smell was horrendous.  I fell to my knees and vomited right there on the carpet. My mind shattered, and I could not deal with it, so I ran.  I left the house with the clothes on my back. I hid my wand in that rocky lot down the road and fled to the city."

Severus slipped his arm around her shoulder to comfort her, lending his support while she told her story, and Hermione snuggled deeper into his embrace.

Hermione wiped a tear from her eye. "Harry, I couldn't face my life without all of you. You and Ron had been my family in the wizarding world, and my parents, of course, were my family in the Muggle world. Suddenly everyone was gone. Even my home was foreign to me. So I stayed in the city, and I lived on the check I'd just cashed from work that morning.  I had the money in my pocket; I'd been planning to deposit some of it in Gringott's.  I got a job scrubbing floors in a restaurant. I found other cleaning jobs, and I was able to rent a shack. I was barely surviving emotionally and mentally. A few months later, while picking through trash for things to sell, I stumbled across Severus."  She reached over to take his hand and brought it to her lips and kissed it.

Severus saw Harry grimace a bit, but he only smiled; the young man would have to get used to their public displays of affection.  Severus was getting used to it himself, but it always made his heart sing to have Hermione receive his touch so openly and give back to him in the same manner.  He jumped into the conversation. "Hermione saved me from death at the bottom of a bottle. I still had the horrible wound from Nagini's fangs. I had managed to fight the infection with whiskey and the grace of God, I think. I was also in constant danger of being beaten to death by young, Muggle hoodlums. They had taken nearly all the clothing I had on me when I woke in one of those alleys. The streets of London are a hard place to live."

"Sir, Ginny told me some of your story, but I'd like to hear it from you. Forgive me, but it's a little hard to fathom you two... together," he said.

Hermione giggled. "Harry!"

"I didn't mean..." Harry turned red.

Severus laughed, and Harry stared. "You are very different now, Sir. I'm having trouble understanding it all."

"Hermione has changed my life. Mr. Potter, if you like, you can call me Severus."

Harry nodded and then said, "Call me Harry."

"I'd like that," Severus said. " Harry, you obviously remember the memories I shared with you, otherwise you'd be screaming at me to get out of here."

"I remember you took Dumbledore's life because he asked you too, but you should have told me," Harry said, a bit annoyed. "I know you care about my mother, even lov... ed her," he said in a strangled voice.  "You were on our side the whole time.  You sacrificed so much for me, and all I gave you back was hate.  I'm sorry, Sir."

"Harry," Severus said kindly, "there's no need to apologize, I played my part well, that's the reactions you were supposed to have.  It was part of my cover as a spy.  Voldemort had to believe I hated you and wanted you dead...just like he did. Things played out as they should have. It was all for the best and for the good of the War effort," Severus told the young man.

"The bloody war," Harry said angrily.  "Dumbledore played us all for fools! Were we nothing but puppets on a string?" Harry asked bitterly.

"It would seem so, Harry," Severus replied a bit sadly. "But it all worked out. Perhaps Dumbledore knew ahead of time what had to be done. Maybe if he had told us what we would accomplish if we voluntarily chose those paths, we might have done the same thing."  He shrugged. "But don't you think we would have had even more burdens along the way? The man in charge of anything always has the burden to carry."

Harry nodded, and his anger at Dumbledore deflated a bit. "I suppose you're right." That gave him a lot to think about. The idea of Dumbledore carrying all the burdens of the pain he'd put Harry and Severus through, the two people he was closest to, saddened him. In the cave, when he'd drank that poison, Harry had felt more respect and love for the man than he'd ever felt before. Maybe he had to rethink his anger towards Dumbledore.

Not having heard Harry's thoughts, Severus told him, "Anyway, you can go to Minerva's office and tell the bloody old goat off yourself."

Harry nodded, remembering the portrait the last time he had seen it. Dumbledore had been sleeping. More than likely, he'd been faking so that he didn't have to reveal anything more.

Harry told Hermione and Severus about the conversation he'd had with Dumbledore in King's Cross Station in whatever limbo that was.

Severus snorted. "I imagine the old goat and Min are having a fine old party right about now."

Harry realized that Severus was speaking about Minerva McGonagall when he had heard Severus refer to the name Min. The idea that Severus and McGonagall had such a close relationship and that he'd call her by an affectionate nickname warmed him more to the man. Harry thought, Minerva McGonagall has always been there for me. She was tough on me, but she cared a great deal for me. She had confidence in me from the beginning of my schooling at Hogwarts, and she gave me my first broom.  I have always loved her for that.  If she has such faith in this man, then I should, too.

Hermione laughed, coming to Dumbledore's defense. "Albus really is an old dear, and leaders have to be tough.  He was like a general in the war. Generals make life and death decisions, but it doesn't mean they don't care and maybe even love their 'soldiers.'"  She made the quotes with her fingers in the air.  "Severus, you should have some respect."

"Albus knows I'm jesting with him, and he loves it," Severus explained.

Hermione laughed, pushing Severus away playfully. "Speaking of caring, I think Minerva and Albus were soft on each other when they were younger."

Harry groaned and covered his face with his hands. "I don't need that picture in my head."

Hermione and Severus laughed, and Severus said, "Neither do I."

Sobering up, Harry asked, "Severus, what happened after Hermione found you?"

They stayed another hour telling him their story, and Harry was trying hard not to fall asleep by the time they got to the end.

Hermione finally said, "Harry, we have to go. You need sleep."

"I've been sleeping for months. I hate to close my eyes again. I'm afraid I won't wake up. I'm really afraid this night has been a dream," he told them.

Hermione could see the fear that lay behind his eyes. She got up and bent over him to kiss his forehead and lay her cheek against his hair. "You won't revert back to that state, I promise. Severus and I did the very best with the potion and the spell. Just look how well Neville's parents are doing, and it's only been a few days since they woke. Healer Strout's a very good healer, and she will monitor you every minute. Please, Harry, trust us and just go to sleep." She tucked him in.

Harry let his head fall to the pillow. "Good night, Hermione... Sever..." He was asleep.

Hermione smiled down at him and pushed the hair out of his face. She gently pulled his glasses off and placed them on the table next to the bed.

She turned back to Severus with a smile and reached out for his hand. They silently left the two sleeping lovebirds behind.

Healer Strout was at a nearby monitoring station. She had looked up when they came from the room. "Healer Strout," Severus called to her as they came close, "Harry is asleep, although he was a bit afraid. He was concerned he wouldn't wake up. It's possible he may have nightmares. Can you please keep a close eye on him?"

Healer Stout assured them, "The darkness that had been holding Mr. Potter in that state is now gone. I will keep a very close eye on him. Healer Davenport is very interested in this case, and he has agreed to come and take over in a few hours, so I can get some sleep tonight."

Severus nodded. "Please tell Alishus I will come to speak with him in a few weeks, after the holidays. Perhaps you would also like to see the original spell and potion recipe."

"Master Snape, I certainly would," she said with great enthusiasm and gratitude at his willingness to share his findings.

"Remember, call me Severus," he said, extending his hand.

"Severus, you know we will not be able to keep this secret much longer. This ward is closed, but there were a number of people here tonight. The more people there are, the easier it is to leak the news of Mr. Potter's return to consciousness quite by accident," Healer Strout explained.

"I understand. Do your best. Harry only needs a few days; the rest is history." He smiled at the woman.

Hermione said, "Miriam, thank you so much."

The two women hugged. Severus took Hermione's hand, and they walked slowly arm-in-arm to the Floo and called Minerva to ask if they could Floo to her office. It was late and getting rather cold outside to walk up from the gate.

She sent back her okay, and then they stepped into the Floo and out into her office.

There was an eruption of clapping as they arrived. Every portrait in the room was stuffed full of the inhabitants of the castle's many portraits. Severus glared at Minerva and a very smug Albus. "There's little chance of keeping this mob silent for an hour let alone a few days. Honestly, Minerva," he admonished, using her full name to let her know how irritated he was.

"They are all sworn to silence," Albus said. "Severus, it's good to see you, son."

"I'm no son of yours, you old goat..." Severus snarled roughly.

Hermione squeezed his hand tightly, tugging at his arm, nervously.

He finished, "...it is good to see you, too."

He came closer to the portrait, peering up into the old man's face. "You did what you had to do, Albus, just as I did. It's done now, and I've let go of our past and have started planning a new future." He pulled Hermione close. "I hope you will give us your blessing."

Albus was dabbing at his eyes with his sleeve. "I'd be very happy to, Severus."

"You're just an old woman, Albus," Severus accused, laughing at Dumbledore.

Minerva came closer and slipped an arm through Severus' free arm. "How's Potter? It has been hours since I left."

"He's good, Min." Severus told her about their conversation. "He'll probably be out of there in another day. It's too bad you had to leave so early."

"Hagrid was so overcome that I barely got him home before he was asleep from emotional exhaustion," Minerva explained.

"I'd have liked to have seen that, Min. You dragging that old oaf home." The image of Min with Hagrid was so funny that he laughed.

"Actually, I levitated him," she said smugly. "If he'd fallen, I would have been crushed!"

Hermione stifled a yawn. "Severus, forgive me, but I can't stand up anymore. I know I didn't do much today, but the last few weeks have been long and exhausting."

Severus nodded agreeing with her. "I'm getting fatigued too." He marveled that he had not gotten exhausted immediately, like the last time, but it was starting to catch up. "Albus, Min, goodnight to you both." He guided the sleepy Hermione out of the room.

Minerva called after them, "Good night, you two. Take tomorrow off. You deserve it! I'll get someone to cover your classes, or I'll let the kids study."

Severus waved back at her. He suddenly felt that he might not make it to his quarters either, let alone Hermione's. Tonight he was going to break their rule. He did not want to sleep without her, and bone-weary exhaustion was setting in. He'd been running on adrenaline, and the excitement had fueled him up till now.

He and Hermione stumbled into his quarters, and with a wave of his wand, the rooms were warded. He transformed their clothing into nightclothes with a second wave of his wand, and they crawled into his bed. They were asleep in each other's arms as soon as their heads hit the pillow.