Chapter 34

Severus and Hermione Apparated into the forest close to where Hermione had last seen the Gypsies.  Of course they weren't there; it had been months. But with a spell, they could discern their direction. 

Hermione shivered; it was late November now and quite cold.  Severus pulled their heavy cloaks from his pocket and expanded them. Hermione paled when Severus produced a broom from his pocket, as well. 

"No, Severus. Please, I can't. You go, and I will stay here."  She drew away, her palms getting sweaty and her heart pounding irregularly in her chest. When they had left Voldemort's lair that first time, she had not complained because Severus had been so intimidating.  She had feared he might leave her if she had protested.

"Hermione, you have to go. There's no other way."  He tried to reason with her, the furrowing of his brow showing his confusion at her reaction.  "They could be hundreds of miles away."

"Severus, I hate flying," she tried to explain, her voice coming out as a shaky squeak. "The last time we flew, before you got your memory back, I was in charge of the broom.  We nearly got killed.  I don't know if I can get back on a broom."

He came nearer and took her by the arms to peer into her face. His stern, dark eyes bore into her frightened ones, and his gaze softened. This situation seemed to call to his memory and felt like déja vu.  "I will be the driver this time. You can bury your face against my back.  I promise it won't be so scary.  I will not let anything happen to you.  You have my word. Can't you trust me?"

Hermione stared into his eyes and then nodded, knowing she had no choice.  She climbed on behind him and held on for dear life.  They rose up into the air, and Severus smiled at the death grip she had on his waist.  Although it did make maneuvering difficult and restricted his breathing, it felt good to have her holding him so closely.  He could see the pale, green line of the spell running below him, giving him a trail to follow. He flew at a steady pace, level to the tree line, for nearly 150 kilometers.  When he finally spotted the caravan below, he landed a short distance away.

The moment their feet touched the ground, Hermione gave a shuddering sigh and let go of him as she stood unsteadily on her feet.  "I'm sorry, Severus. I hate heights." 

"You did fine," he encouraged her, grasping her arm to help steady her.  "Come, let's go speak to our friends."

As Hermione and Severus made their way closer to the caravan, Hermione called out, "Nicholi, it's me, Hermione, and the man you knew as Raven."  She whispered to Severus out of the side of her mouth, "I'm sorry."

He shook his head. "No, it's necessary."

The people of the caravan were all standing by their fire, looking toward them as they came closer.  They had seen the broom with the riders as it came close and knew these riders were magical people.

Nicholi came walking over to them and held out his hand. "Raven, Hermione, it is good to see you again."

Severus shook the stranger's hand. This man was obviously the leader.  He could feel Nicholi's power.  He reached out with his thoughts and found walls in place. 

The man cocked an eyebrow at him and smiled, though he seemed confused.

Nicholi looked him in the eye and said, "You are not the same man."  He could tell Severus was a very powerful wizard, and he was all too aware that Severus had tried to probe his thoughts.  Raven had never had control of his mental abilities.

Magi, the blind, old woman who had grabbed Hermione's hand those months ago, said, "Your love was lost, was it not?  That which was Raven is now this man.  Yet as I said, love is what you make it, and he has been reborn. The soul of Raven becomes one with him."

Hermione felt a sense of deep relief and hope, hearing the wise woman's words, taking them as encouragement. "Yes, you are correct, old mother.  This is Severus.  This is who Raven was before he lost his memory."

There was a collective, "Ahhhh," from the crowd. Their respect for Magi was evident on their faces as they looked at Severus with great interest.  They respected her so much that no one would question her words, and they now accepted Severus into their group just as Raven had been."

Severus stared back at them, trying hard not to glare because he needed their good will.  But he did not enjoy being scrutinized.

Hermione and Severus were invited to sit by the fire. They watched as several wizards transformed two logs into intricately carved chairs, and another transfigured several clay cups to glass that seemed alive with lights. A roast came from a spit on the fire. Some of the women poured piping hot coffee in their cups.  Instruments where summoned from different caravan wagons and settled into the hands of waiting musicians.

Hermione laughed joyfully at the fun of it all.

Severus watched her face glow with happiness, and it filled him with peace he had not felt in days. He wished he could make her happy like that.  He felt a prickling sensation, and turned to see the old woman, Magi, with her face turned toward him.  She nodded at him with a smile, her blind, white eyes seemed to read his very soul, and he squirmed under her gaze.

Severus' eyes widened as he heard her voice in his head, "Love awaits you, Severus Snape.  You only have to accept it."

"Get out of my mind, old woman."  He pushed her back mentally.

She cackled as if she was enjoying the music, but her eyes never left him. 

Hermione, having totally missed the exchange, pulled out the little bag from around her neck and produced the book from it. 

Severus stared at the fire, his thoughts on the old woman's words. As he watched the flames, they seemed to dance and weave intricate patterns like a living piece of artwork, calming his mind as he sat there.

Hermione noticed the many magical abilities the Gypsies had hidden the last time they were there.

"Nicholi, we've come to ask your help." Severus said, looking across the fire at the man.

Nicholi looked up, his eyes alert with cautious curiosity. "What would my people have to offer wizards such as yourselves? Come, sit by me, and we will have some food and talk."

When their drinks were refilled and they'd made headway into their plates of food, Severus explained. "Your people have a magical ability that's laced with artistry. We have a spell that has ancient musical patterns that I don't understand.  I'd appreciate it if you could look at it and see if you might recognize it. Hermione tells me you have some experience with music, specifically that with tonal qualities and tempos.  I have deciphered the words, but I need to know how to sing them.  This is a very difficult spell, accompanied by a potion that Hermione and I are brewing."

Nicholi relaxed and slapped his knees and smiled broadly. "Let's finish eating, and then we will look at this music of yours.  It is true our people do have an ancient history with music, but a great deal of it is learned by fathers teaching their sons.  Very little is written down."

Severus nodded. "Well, I would appreciate you looking at the music. I can sing what I know so far, and maybe it will give you some idea of what we're looking at.  There is a young wizard who fought a brave battle but ended up cursed. This may save him and others.  It would mean a lot to the people of our world."

"You speak of Harry Potter?  We know of him," Nicholi admitted.

Severus nodded. "Of course you do."

"It would be my pleasure," Nicholi said, smiling broadly.

They sat and ate, and Hermione told the group some of what had happened to them since they had last visited.  They all listened with great interest.  It was not often new people came into their camp with unheard stories.  The children whooped with excitement when Hermione told of the dragon and cringed when she described the incident with the vampire.  They marveled at all the adventures, and the children begged them to bring Grendel to visit sometime.  To Hermione's amazement, Severus promised they would.

Later they sat around the fire with only a few of the older men and Magi.  Severus had picked up one of the instruments and plucked a few notes. 

Hermione was astonished to hear him play a melody.  It was like a love song, soft and romantic.

"Is that the tune?" she asked, astonished.

Severus actually blushed. "Sorry, it's something I learned as a child.  I really don't know more than a few simple chords." 

Hermione smiled wistfully at him. "It's beautiful."

Severus cleared his throat. "Well, it's easy to play music if you know the chords.  But the actual feeling behind music is a totally different matter."

"You were doing just fine," she said, reaching out to squeeze his arm, her eyes sparkling with admiration. 

His eyes actually twinkled a bit, but he didn't seem to know how to react to her comment.  

Nicholi watched the two visitors.  There was feeling between these two, as well.  He'd known they loved each other the last time they had met, but he felt and saw a very different man in Severus Snape.  It pleased him that this man also had feelings for Hermione Granger. He finally said, "Severus, Hermione, let's have a look at this music of yours."

Hermione opened the book to the spell and passed it to Nicholi.

Nicholi took it, studying the page by the dancing firelight and with the help of Severus wand.  He was very quiet and very serious as he looked at the words and music written there.  He didn't speak for a long time as he studied the book, then he asked Magi to take a look.  Severus and Hermione waited patiently.  They talked quietly together until finally Nicholi said, "I think we can help."

Hermione and Severus both let out a sigh of relief as they looked over at Nicholi and then at each other.

With care and expertise, Nicholi explained the tonal qualities, demonstrating each note carefully for Severus, and Severus tried to sing the notes.  His voice had a deep, natural resonance and rich, silky tone; he was a natural baritone. Hermione sat transfixed, enraptured by the sound of his powerful voice. 

But he struggled occasionally with the complexity of the song, listening to Nicholi's instructions, suggestions, and corrections. As the night wore on, Severus became frustrated.  He could only get so far, and then he would stop because the magic that was building up fell flat.  It was like a visible color, like rainbows turning and twisting on themselves, colors that he couldn't quite paint, like a song with all the colors of the wind, or trying to sing with all the voices of the mountains.* 

Ah, she thought, Severus is mostly in charge right now. He suppresses his feelings, controls them, and doesn't like to rely on them... He isn't allowing his feelings to flow. He doesn't need his feelings right now; at least he doesn't think he does.  As Raven, he wasn't afraid of his feelings.  Raven was everything Severus hadn't been since he was a young man.  When Lily died, he had shoved his feelings into a box behind his shield of Occlumency, and he lived behind that shield every day. Severus had become this hard emotionless man she had known as a child. 

She got his attention. "Severus, you need to reach out with your feelings for this music.  Music is basically feelings in sound; to really understand the music, you have to feel it.  Without passion and a desire behind it, you won't be able to get it right. You are literally singing Harry back to life, back from a darkness he is trapped in."  She went to him and took his hand and placed it against her chest.  "Feel my heart beat, and look in my eyes; see and feel the love I have for you.  Life is just waiting for us to happen, Severus.  I care deeply about you.  You just have to let the feelings flow through you. It's all inside you."

Severus looked deep into her eyes. His thoughts caressed her and found he was welcome there.  That touched him more than words could.   He saw himself through her eyes, and he saw that she loved him as much as she had ever loved the man named Raven. He realized to Hermione, Raven and he really where the same man.  Before it had all been words, and now it was fact to his mind and now his heart.  He felt a lightness in his heart he had never known before. 

This time when he turned that to the fire and faced Nicholi, they sang the song with fierceness and a lightness of heart.  The music lived in his heart as well as his mind, and he suddenly understood that the song was a love song.  In order to make it work, he would have to love Harry. He'd have to forgive the past and let himself love.  The tendrils of light before him continued to intertwine and wind in an increasingly intricate pattern. When they reached the end of the song, it burst like a celebratory fireworks display.

Hermione was hugging him and laughing and crying at the same time.  "You did it! You did it!"  Then she was kissing him, and everything around them ceased to exist. 

Nicholi watched for a few moments with his eyes lit with joy. Then he backed away with a bow and left the two lovers to their night fire.

With an Apparition Hermione didn't even feel, they ended up in the lair and in Severus' bed.  Severus removed Hermione's clothes slowly.  He shed his with a flick of his wand. They made love with their minds joined the entire time, being one with the other, a total abandonment and, if it was possible, even lighter hearts than ever before.  When Hermione slept curled against him in his arms, he let his mind wander to the song and to the things he had realized as he had sang earlier. He had real feelings for Hermione.  It wasn't just Raven's feelings taking over.  They were his.  But the feelings were so foreign to him that they hurt and clawed at his heart, and fear encased him.

Hermione snuggled closer.  He found he could not staunch the flow of exquisite pain that now bubbled up inside.  The pain tore at him, and yet he felt love as he never had before.  He tried to fight the surge of emotions, but the love burned through him, battling against the many rooms of darkness and suspicion within him. He did not realize when Hermione had woken. She just held him and soothed him, somehow realizing what was happening to him.  Finally, he fell into an exhausted sleep.

He cried out as he slept, and Hermione continued to hold him, stroking his hair for a time. She realized that Grendel was hovering close by, and she reached her hand out over the edge of the bed to tousle the fur on his head. "He's okay, boy. I have him. You can sleep now."  The animal licked her fingers and lay next to the bed and slept.  Hermione soon slipped into a deep sleep as well.

Thank you, all, so much for the many wonderful reviews I have received. This story is now complete, so it won't be abandoned. It could take several more months to post all the chapters.

I want to thank Lisa, my Beta; she's amazing.  Many thanks also go out to beaweasley2 and Becky for all their hours of help and their helpful suggestions.

(*Borrowed from "The Colors of the Wind." Disney's Pocahontas.)