Chapter 16

Later in Headmistress McGonagall's office, Raven and Hermione listened as she told them all the things that they should take with them on their trip. As it was late in the afternoon, Minerva suggested they stay the night in guest quarters. That way, they could observe Snape's memories tomorrow.

Hermione was given a room next to Raven's in a wing not occupied by students at that time. It was used for guest quarters during special ceremonies...often housing dignitaries or parents. The rooms were huge and had the customary four-poster beds in house colors.

Raven agreed to stay in the Gryffindor corner. There was a common room much like the Gryffindor common room. Raven and Hermione cuddled up on the sofa in front of the fire. She sat with her back to his chest.

"It's wonderful to be here in the castle. I loved it here as a child. Classes, friends..." Her voice trailed off as sharp memories of Harry and Ron hit her.

As if reading her mind, Raven asked, "This Ron, you never talk about him. What happened between you?"

Hermione took a shuddering breath. "We were friends for years. The three of us grew up together. Like the three Musketeers, my mum would often call us. Puberty hit, and it got awkward between Ron and I. I developed a crush on him. But he was a git and couldn't see it. He had a girlfriend for a time. It was a very painful time in our lives. We put poor Harry in the middle of it. Then the war came; by then Ron and I had worked our way back to each other before the final battle. I guess I thought our future held marriage and children. When he died, part of me died."

Raven had wound his fingers into hers, and she stared at their joined fingers. She felt him stiffen a bit behind her. She turned toward him, slipped her arms around his neck, and held him close.

"Raven, since I met you, since we have become close, this is the first time I've felt I can let that all go. I have a life again and someone I care for very deeply." She heard him sigh, and he relaxed against her. "Please don't ever feel jealous of Ron. He's the past. You're my present..."

"And future?" he asked.

She drew back and smiled at him. "Well, I didn't want to presume."

Raven caressed her cheek with his fingers. "I don't want to ever be without you, Hermione."

"Ever?" she said, her voice getting a bit husky with desire.

"Never, ever." He kissed her deeply, and she buried her hands in his hair.

"Raven, please stay in my room with me tonight. I don't want to be alone here. There are so many memories."

He stood and drew her to her feet. "Let's make some new ones."

Arm in arm they went into her room and shut the door.

*********

Breakfast in the Great Hall in the morning was an experience. They were seated at the head table. Raven again wore the glamour. Hermione wore one too, still not wanting to be recognised. As she looked out over the school she realized how much she loved it. And as she sat looking at all the faces before her, she realized something else: She wanted to teach. She wanted to teach here at Hogwarts. But if Raven remembered who he was, would he want to come back here and continue teaching? McGonagall had let it slip during the breakfast that the teacher who was teaching Potions was temporary and would be gone when this year was over. They would also need a Charms teacher. Granted, they were only a third into the year. Maybe it would give them the time they needed to figure out what their lives were going to be. She knew it was silly to hope things would work out. They still had a long, dangerous search before them, and neither knew what would happen if the search was successful. But maybe she could at least tell Minerva her thoughts before they left.

*******

Again they stood in Minerva's office with Dumbledore in attendance. One of the memory vials had been poured into the Pensieve, which sat on a low table in the center of the room. The three travelers stood around the bowl. Minerva took one of each of their hands, and they leaned forward and plunged their faces into the silver memory.

They found themselves in a dark forest. There was a fire burning in the center of a circle of Death Eaters. A man kneeled before Voldemort. "You are young, and I will forgive you this once. If you ever hesitate to follow my orders again, you will not be so fortunate. Do you understand?"

The man kneeling at his feet kissed the Dark Lord's shoes. "Yes, my Lord, I will not fail you again."

"Crucio!" Voldemort cried out. His wand waved, and the body of the Death Eater contorted in agony at his feet. He writhed so much that his mask fell away.

Hermione, Minerva, and Raven watched in horror as a young Severus Snape was revealed.

The scene faded and they found themselves in a dark, old house. Severus, only a few years older, was hiding behind a door. Voldemort could be seen pacing the room, and a rather beautiful Bellatrix Lestange stood close by, watching him with a look of adoration on her face.

"You're certain of the origin of this book?" He held a heavy, leather-bound book.

"Yes, it belonged to Salazar Slytherin himself. There is a spell to change the Mark your followers already bear. There will be no doubt of their loyalty; and if their betrayal causes you injury, their minds will be stolen from them and locked forever from their recall, unless you so desire to restore them." She fawned over him. Her hands moved seductively over his legs as she prostrated herself before him. This Voldemort still looked human, more like the young Tom Riddle.

Voldemort swooped down and grabbed Bellatrix by the neck and dragged her to her feet. Her nose was one inch from his. "If you ever breathe a word to anyone about this magic, I will cut your brain from your skull while you live. There will be no going back for you. Do you understand?"

Bellatrix turned a pale shade of gray and fell back at his feet. "I will never breathe a word. It is already forgotten."

"See that it is." He hissed, kicked her away from him, turned toward the door, and strode from the room.

Severus barely had a chance to jump behind the door.

Again the scene faded, and the three observers found themselves in a dark cavern. An unmasked Severus Snape stood before Voldemort; he was in his late 30s and looked much like Raven did today. Voldemort, snakelike and repulsive, was staring at the Potions master. "Are you certain no one saw you leave tonight?"

"Quite certain, my Lord."

Voldemort turned, and his hand swept the width of the cavern. "This is my home, Severus. You have proven your loyalty, my favorite of servants. I wanted you to see what can be yours if you deliver the Potter brat to me."

"Look, Severus. Look at the vast dark magic I have accumulated. Look at the treasures I would willingly share with my MOST faithful servant if you bring the boy to me."

The cavern was laden with piles of gold, jewels, and works of art. Books filled rough, wooden shelves; there was a vast library. Severus looked on with eyes hungry for the knowledge they held.

"You will bring me the boy and watch while I cut the heart from his chest. You and I will feast on it together."

He grabbed Severus' arm and, with the wave of his wand, opened a deep wound on Severus' hand. Producing a parchment, he pressed a bloody hand print into the paper and added a print of his own. If you fail me in this assignment I will take all that you know and care about. It will be but one thought in my mind, and it will be gone. Do not fail me." Voldemort pushed Severus back, and then he fell to his knees. "Activate your Portkey and return to Hogwarts. I will soon call you back, and you will bring the boy to the place of my choosing."

The observers saw Severus pull at some vegetation in the crevices of the wet, humid cavern floor. He slipped it into his pocket.

"Yes, my Lord." Severus bowed and backed away. Again the scene faded, and they found themselves in Snape's rooms at Hogwarts seconds after his return from the cave.

Severus had fallen to his knees. "Lily, I will protect him. I have promised. My life is forfeit, and my memory forfeit if I can save your son for you." The words were spoken to the empty room.

The memory faded, and the three observers stood again in the Headmistress' office.

Raven was pale and slipped into a chair. Hermione went to her knees beside him.

"It was not only the Mark but a blood oath," Minerva said with horror. "Albus, it was a blood oath." She said looking toward the portrait. Then filled him in on what they had seen.

"It's worse than we feared," Albus admitted, "but it's not insurmountable. If the spells or charms he used are recorded in that cavern of knowledge, you will be able to break them. There is nothing we can do here. If you wish to do this, wish to help Harry, the sooner you start the better." He told the young couple. "Tomorrow, Minerva, you will ask Dobby to collect the things that he can here at the castle. You will go with Hermione and Raven to Hogsmeade and buy the rest."

"Hermione, do you still own that magic bag?" Dumbledore asked.

"Yes," she said, pulling it from inside her robe. "It was the only thing I kept with me after I left my home."

"I'm pleased you kept it. It will be invaluable on this trip. I believe we can find one for Raven, too, so you won't have to carry everything." He looked down at Raven who was still in the chair. "Are you okay, Son?"

Raven nodded. "Was I that harsh? My face was so hard, so impenetrable. There was evil radiating off me. How could I have given my allegiance to such a man? What kind of person was I?"

"You were a very misguided one," Albus said kindly. "You had been given little care over your entire life, and his followers offered you friendship and belonging. I often blamed myself for not making your life at this school easier."

Hermione sighed. She had hoped to keep the nature of Severus' life at Hogwarts from him.

He looked at her. "You did not tell me I had a hard time here."

Hermione shook her head. "Raven, I only saw a few glimpses of your life here. You shared a few memories of your sacrifices for Harry with him the day you "died," vanished as it were. Harry's father hated you, and his friends often ganged up on you. Lily, Harry's mother, was your childhood friend, and she fell in love with James Potter. I think you joined Voldemort to get away from your feelings of betrayal and maybe to initially get power to hurt James with, but you betrayed them all by relaying part of a message you heard. What you heard ultimately led to James and Lily's deaths. You spent the rest of your life trying to protect her son; in doing so, you put yourself at great risk all of your adult life as a double agent. The power of your mind is phenomenal. You were able to keep that secret from Voldemort even though he had the power to read your thoughts."

Raven had turned away from her. She grabbed him by the front of his robe and pulled him close. "You made up for that error of youth by saving many, many countless Order members. You showed Harry how to defeat that monster, and you saved our world."

"She's right, my boy," the old headmaster said. "You did all that and so much more that you have shared with me these many years. Countless times you managed to thwart Voldemort's plans one way or another. Lives were saved and sometimes lost. You'd grieve for them...sometimes at the bottom of a bottle...and I knew your heart broke. That maniac tortured you many times. Poppy would stitch you up with magic. Yet you still pulled yourself up and went back time after time. The Wizarding world has no clue of the debt they owe you."

Minerva looked on with tears streaming down her face. She'd had her reservations about the feelings between Snape and Hermione, considering the age difference; but as she watched the young woman soothe and heal the older man with her love, she let those doubts go. She was grateful to Hermione for the heart full of love she had and for the fact that she was able to love her "son." For many years she had been hurt by the cloak of evilness that Snape had wrapped about himself in order to survive Voldemort. She had watched others who felt betrayed by his duplicity even when Albus had vouched for Severus. Even she had doubted the old man's belief in Snape a time or two. It had driven a wedge between her and Albus. She had thought she'd let go of the old hurt and pain after the war, but today she realized she would have to have a heart-to-heart talk with her old headmaster.

Raven held on to Hermione and cried again. Inside he was a huge emotional wreck. If this Snape had been so strong, why was he so weak? Why did everything he learned about his past devastate him so? He looked up at Albus. "Why am I so unable to control or accept what I was?"