XXVII: Daughter of Darkness and Light

Thanks to JKR for some amazing characters.

Thanks to Apple Blossom for beta reading.

And thanks to you for reading and reviewing.

Chapter XXVII: Daughter of Darkness and Light

Oh, blissful Christmas holidays. Severus warmed his cold and aching fingers on his coffee mug and let his gaze wander over the House tables in front of him. They were almost empty. There were only a handful of students remaining at Hogwarts for the holidays, and – most wonderful of all – Umbridge's chair was empty as well. He wouldn't miss the hag for a single second. That woman certainly had the talent to make him see red with her annoying little coughs and her even more annoying clipboard. Just a couple of weeks ago, he had overheard the Weasley twins discussing methods on how to poison her, and instead of deducting points from Gryffindor, he had crossed his fingers that they would succeed.

But as annoying Umbridge was, she had been the least of Severus' problems that term. He had had more important things to concentrate on: the Dark Lord and Dumbledore had demanded his whole attention.

There had been good days, days when the Dark Lord embraced him and called him his most loyal, most trusted and most valuable servant. On these days, all Severus had to endure were the jealous looks of his fellow Death Eaters and the suspicious looks of his fellow Order members when he returned to Headquarters.

But these days were becoming rare. The Dark Lord was getting more and more frustrated that his plans did not advance according to his wishes, that everything took much longer than he had anticipated, that he had still not been able to get into the Department of Mysteries. And this frustration made him unpredictable. At one moment, he was flattering and praising, and the next he was casting curses, not caring who they hit. But worst were the curses of which he was perfectly sure whom they were directed at. Curses that ripped the mind into pieces, curses that severed the flesh from the bones, curses that made the bravest of men wish he had never been born.

Severus had suffered these curses. He had endured the Dark Lord's icy cold fingers probing around in his mind. He had twitched on the ground, feeling his muscles being torn. He, too, had some days wished that he were dead. But he took it all, the pain, the humiliation. He took all of it, silently, and afterwards, he crawled in the dirt and kissed the hem of the Dark Lord's robe. And when dismissed, he dragged himself back to Dumbledore, his other master.

There were days when Severus wondered if all of this was worth it. There were days when he looked at Potter and wondered however this child would be able to defeat the Dark Lord. There were days when he considered giving in. It would be so easy to die, so easy to let others fight this battle.

But every time she looked at him, every time he felt her hand around his when he woke up screaming, every time he felt her fingers bush his hair from his sweaty forehead, Severus promised himself to go on.

Morgaine had been there waiting for him every time he returned. She had been there, right by his side, whenever he had reached out for her. And when he had not been ready, when he had pushed her away, she had simply taken a step back and waited.

Severus put down his coffee mug and looked at her. She, too, was clutching a cup and looked extremely tired. She had spent the night at Grimmauld Place, looking after the Weasley children as they were waiting for news of their father. She had returned to Hogwarts shortly before dawn. She couldn't have gotten more than an hour or two of sleep. But still, she smiled at him when she noticed him looking, and Severus smiled back shyly.

Then the owls arrived. For a moment, Severus stared at the dark green envelope that had landed on his plate, wondering who would send him a Christmas card. But when he picked it up, he recognised the slender handwriting at once: the letter was from Lucius Malfoy and surely contained the invitation to his famous New Year's Ball. Severus had been invited every year since Draco had come to Hogwarts, but he had only attended once. And that evening was not a memory he was too fond of.

'Now that was a surprise.'

Severus looked up from his letter to face Morgaine. She, too, was holding a dark green envelope in her hand.

'I see you have received an invitation to the Malfoys' New Year's Ball as well,' he pointed out.

'What is he playing at?' Morgaine stuffed her invitation back into the envelope. 'Lucius Malfoy hates me.'

Severus cocked an eyebrow. 'Lucius Malfoy never does anything without an ulterior motive. I am sure he has his reasons for inviting you.'

He saw Morgaine rub her wrists. She had not spent a very pleasant New Year's night at Malfoy Manor either.

'Well, I am not going,' she said as she slammed the letter onto the table.

'Yes, you are, my child.' Dumbledore's voice made Severus spin around. 'As a matter of fact, I want you both to go.'

'With all due respect, Dumbledore, you cannot give me orders in this manner.' Morgaine's voice was cold, just as it always was when she and Dumbledore were talking about private matters. And Severus wondered whatever had made her so bitter against her great-grandfather.

'No, I cannot,' Dumbledore replied. 'In that case, let me ask you a favour, my child. Accompany Severus to Malfoy Manor. Stand by his side, and make Malfoy believe that he is getting what he wants.'

Severus saw Morgaine's teeth gnaw at her lip. Dumbledore sure knew how to pull her strings. He knew perfectly well that standing by Severus' side was the one thing Morgaine would never refuse.

~ ~ ~

Nobody could ever have guessed that Morgaine and Lucius Malfoy were anything but best friends, if not more. Lucius had greeted her and Severus already in the hall, kissing Morgaine's hand, flattering her, and she had played along, smiling. Now, she was sitting beside Lucius at the dinner table while Severus sat opposite her, Narcissa Malfoy at his side. Severus never took his eyes off Morgaine. He had an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. He was convinced that something was going to happen that New Year's night.

When the gentlemen went to the library for cigars and brandy, Severus went along, hoping that Morgaine would be safe with Narcissa. But as soon as the library door closed behind him, and he noticed that Lucius was not in the room with them, he realised that neither of them would be safe that night.

Macnair's spell hit him right in the chest, and he fell to the floor, gasping for air. He was dragged up by Crabbe and Goyle. There was no point in struggling: they held his arms in an iron grip.

'Some of us had a bet going, you see,' Macnair said in a drawling voice. 'Not many of us believed that you would have the guts to show up here tonight. I knew you would, though. I have to thank you, Severus. Thanks to you I made some Galleons tonight.'

The thanks consisted of another spell that made Severus' body shake. If Crabbe and Goyle hadn't been holding him up, he would have hit the floor once again.

'Tell us, Severus,' Macnair went on, 'why are you here tonight? Which of us are you spying on tonight?'

Then the door opened and in came Lucius, holding a struggling Morgaine by her arm. Severus felt a chill go down his spine. However was he going to get her out of there?

'Ah, I see you have started without us,' Lucius said in a silky voice. 'Has he talked yet?'

'Of course he hasn't,' Macnair shouted. 'What makes you think that he ever will?'

A cruel smile appeared on Lucius' face. 'It is easy to be brave when it concerns only yourself. But let's see how brave Severus is when it's about someone he cares for.'

He pushed Morgaine away from him and drew his wand, but she was faster. Lucius had either not anticipated her speed or simply supposed that she would not defend herself. Whatever the reason, he looked genuinely surprised when she blocked his spell.

'Tsk tsk tsk, Miss duLac,' he said in a disapproving voice. 'Shield Charms are for children. I expected better from you. Let's try again.'

He fired a second spell at her which she once more blocked.

'No,' Lucius yelled. 'No more Shield Charms.'

He spun around and pointed his wand at Severus. 'Cru...'

'Sectumsempra.'

Lucius never got to finish his spell. A deep gash appeared on his wand hand, and he whirled around to stare at Morgaine. She had now lowered her wand and looked shocked.

Severus was staring at her, too. He could not believe it. This could not have happened. Morgaine had not just used a Dark Curse on Lucius Malfoy. He tried to break free from Crabbe's and Goyle's grip, but was unable to.

A second ago, Lucius' face had been contorted by pain, but now there was a triumphant smile on his lips. With his handkerchief pressed against the bleeding cut on his hand, he slowly approached Morgaine.

'Now, now, look at this,' he said in his most silky voice. 'Dumbledore's little angel is using Dark Magic. Seems like we didn't send you to Durmstrang for nothing.'

Severus' eyes darted towards Lucius. What had he just said?

'However, my dear,' Lucius continued. 'I will teach you not to use your spells on me ever again.'

Morgaine never had a chance to react. Lucius' fist made contact with her jaw with a sickening crush. She sank to the floor, dropping her wand. Lucius picked it up in a blink of an eye.

'Birch? I'd expected oak. Dragon heart string, I've heard. Let's see what it can do.'

Once more, Severus tried unsuccessfully to break free from Crabbe and Goyle, but it was no use. All he could not do was watch as Lucius levitated Morgaine's body and suspend it in midair. Her eyes were closed. Obviously, she had been knocked out.

Which spell Lucius was using, Severus didn't know. He just stared helplessly at Morgaine's twitching body. Then her eyes flew open, and the blood in Severus' veins froze to ice. Never before had he seen such horror in her eyes.

'Cease!'

Lucius was thrown off his feet, and Morgaine's body hit the floor with a thud. Severus broke free from Crabbe and Goyle and hurried towards her, pulling her into his arms. She was shaking, and her face was chalky white. Carefully, he helped her to her feet. From the corner of his eye, he saw the Death Eaters around him fall to their knees, and then a shudder went down his spine.

'Rise, my friends.'

Severus jerked up his head. His eyes fell upon the tall, imposing man who had entered the room. The Dark Lord.

Instinctively, Severus shoved Morgaine behind his back, at the same time knowing that it was useless. He had not been able to protect her from Lucius, and he would definitely not be able to protect her from the Dark Lord, who was now towering over the recoiling shape of Lucius Malfoy.

'You should know better than to treat guests like that, my slippery friend,' he said in a smooth tone.

Severus saw spasms chasing through Lucius' body. He didn't even want to know what curse the Dark Lord had just used on the man.

'My child.' The Dark Lord had turned around and was now addressing Morgaine. 'Forgive him. He thought he was serving the greater good. Come, let me have a look at you.' He extended his hand in a welcoming gesture.

Severus' heart skipped a beat, and his hand closed around Morgaine's wrist. No, not her!

Then he felt Morgaine's fingers on his hand. She was freeing herself from his grip. He turned his head to look at her. Her face was still pale but now free of any emotion, she was carrying herself straight. And Severus couldn't do anything but stare at her back when she approached the Dark Lord with determined steps.

A wave of nausea washed over him when he saw the Dark Lord caress Morgaine's cheek with his long, pale fingers.

'Welcome back, Morgaine of the Lake. You are the spitting image of your mother.'

Severus swallowed, a sense of terror filling his mind. The Dark Lord had recognised Morgaine and not just because he had seen her in Severus' mind. He remembered her mother.

'I knew your mother well, my child,' the Dark Lord continued. 'She was a charming witch. Rumour has it that you have charmed my truest servant in a similar fashion.'

He was now holding out his hand towards Severus, beckoning him to approach. 'A word, my friend, in private.'

Severus felt yet another chill go down his spine as the Dark Lord laid his cold hand on his shoulder and pulled him close. They didn't have to leave the room. The Dark Lord's Silencing Charm shut out all unwanted listeners.

'I want to thank you for bringing the child back to us, Severus.'

The Dark Lord's voice made Severus shiver. What did he mean? Severus knew that Morgaine's mother had fled from the Death Eaters when Morgaine had just been a child. But whatever did the Dark Lord mean with bringing the child back?

He got the explanation as the Dark Lord continued: 'The child should have been brought up by our kind, but her dear mother was too much of a Gryffindor to let her daughter to be raised by – how did Dumbledore put it – the Dark Side.' He chuckled. It was a horrible sound. 'You did well bedding her, my friend,' he went on in a most silky tone. 'Not only did you bind her to us, but it will also make the old fool Dumbledore believe that you are definitely his man through and through. Keep her close.'

'My Lord.' Severus bowed, thus acknowledging the Dark Lord's orders.

'My friends, I apologise for having so little time for you,' the Dark Lord was now addressing his Death Eaters. 'There are more urgent matters needing my attention. I am sure that Lucius will see to your well-being as soon as he regains consciousness.'

He turned to leave. On his way out, he stopped at Morgaine's side, once more caressing her cheek with his hand.

'Do enjoy the party, my child.'

And then, he was gone.

Severus wouldn't stay a minute longer. He had to get Morgaine out of there. He reached her with three swift strides, took her by the hand, picked up her wand from the floor and dragged her out of the library, out of the manor.

Her hands were clammy, her whole body was shaking. She had carried herself tall in the library, not showed any emotions, any weakness. But when they had reached the courtyard she sank to her knees and started retching. And Severus just stood by and watched. Something deep inside him kept him from touching her. After a while, he just dragged her up by her wrist. It felt like holding a puppet. There was no will left in her body.

They Apparated directly to Grimmauld Place. The Order would need to know what had happened.

~ ~ ~

They were all gathered in the living room: Dumbledore, Black, Lupin, Tonks, the Weasleys. They, too, had been celebrating New Year's Eve. The children had, fortunately, already been sent to bed.

Lupin immediately rose from his chair when he caught sight of Morgaine. 'By the Gods, what happened?'

It was the first time since they had left Malfoy Manor that Severus actually looked at Morgaine. Her face was chalky white, her pupils dilated with fear. There were bruises forming on her jaw where Malfoy's fist had hit her, and there was still dried blood at the corner of her mouth.

Lupin freed her from Severus' grip and sat her down on a chair.

'The Dark Lord,' Severus began, 'he has recognised her.'

'Did Voldemort do this?' Lupin pointed at Morgaine's bruises. 'Did he touch her?'

Severus shook his head. 'No, that was Malfoy's doing. The Dark Lord ...'

'Enough.' Dumbledore had risen from his armchair. 'Remus, would you please bring Morgaine to her room? Sirius, Molly, Arthur, I need to talk with Severus in private.'

They all left without protesting. But Severus saw the dirty look Black was shooting at him and the terrified look in Molly's eyes. Surely, they were all blaming him for the state Morgaine was in. How could they not? He was blaming himself as well.

When the door had closed, he turned to Dumbledore again. 'Albus, he has recognised her,' he repeated.

'Of course, he has,' Dumbledore answered, his voice unusually cold. 'You have shown her to him in June.'

'No, not like that, Albus,' Severus heard the panicky tone in his own voice, but he did not even try to hide it. 'He knows who she is. He said she looks like her mother.'

Dumbledore absentmindedly stroked his beard. 'So he remembers Jeanne,' he said, more to himself than to Severus. 'What more did he say?'

'He thanked me for bringing her back and congratulated me for bedding your great-granddaughter,' Severus said in a mocking tone. 'He thinks it is one of my tricks to make you believe I am on your side.'

Dumbledore nodded. 'Of course. Tom would never understand that you might actually love her.'

The minutes ticked by, and Dumbledore did not speak anymore. He was just standing there, stroking his beard. Severus felt his temper rising. What was it Dumbledore knew and didn't disclose?

'What did he mean when he welcomed her back, Albus? I demand to be told the truth now.'

'Morgaine was supposed to be brought up by Death Eaters.'

'Yes, he mentioned that,' Severus said, an awful suspicion suddenly creeping into his mind.

'She was meant to be used against me,' Dumbledore continued in his annoyingly calm voice. 'Voldemort must have thought that a child that combined the Dark and the Light would give him access to me.'

'And you knew this?' Severus' voice actually cracked 'How could you let this happen, Albus? How could you let me take her to Malfoy Manor?'

'There was no point in delaying it any longer, Severus. Sooner or later, Voldemort would have come looking for her. It was better that way.'

'Better that way? Better that way? Albus, what ... I ...' Severus' horror rendered him incoherent for a second. 'Why, Albus? Why?'

But Dumbledore just raised his hand, and Severus knew that there was no point in asking any more questions. The old man would not disclose any more.

'Go and take care of her, Severus. She needs you now, more than ever.' And with these words, Severus was dismissed.

Fortunately, he didn't meet anyone on his way up to Morgaine's room. He didn't feel like talking to anybody right now.

He found Lupin sitting on a chair beside Morgaine's bed, holding her hand. He was grateful to see no trace of blame or hatred on Lupin's face. He had had enough of that this night.

'She just fell asleep,' Lupin said in a hushed voice as he rose from his chair. 'She has been asking for you, Severus. Will you stay with her tonight? She should not be alone when she wakes up.'

Severus nodded silently, sat down on the now empty chair and watched Lupin leaving the room. It was the first time that he didn't feel any resentment for that man.

'Thank you, Remus,' he said in such a low voice that he wasn't sure if Lupin would even hear him.

But Lupin had heard him. He did not, however, turn around. He just raised a hand in acknowledgement and then silently left the room. And Severus never got to see the unshed tears that were glistering in his eyes.

'Do you still hate him, Severus?'

Severus stared at Morgaine in surprise. 'I thought you were asleep,' he said.

'I didn't want Remus to worry too much.' She sat up in the bed and looked at him. 'Do you still hate him?'

That girl was just amazing. She had just been beaten and tortured, she had just met the Dark Lord, and there she was, wondering whether he and his childhood enemy would ever make up. Severus couldn't help but smile at her.

He reached out and tenderly brushed her cheek with his fingers., and Morgaine grabbed his hand to press it against her face, placing a kiss on his palm.

'I don't want to be here tonight, Severus,' she whispered. 'Take me home. Take me to Hogwarts.'

~ ~ ~

'Welcome back into the fold, my child.'

The Dark Lord's cold voice was echoing in the big room which was dimly lit by thirteen torches that were attached to the walls. Severus knew this place. He had been initiated there. And now, he was standing in the circle of his follow Death Eaters, terrified, staring at the scene before him.

The Dark Lord was towering tall in front of the altar, his white skin reflecting ghostly in the dark. And kneeling before him, wearing a long black robe, was Morgaine.

'Yes, welcome back, my child. Finally, you have returned.'

'My Lord.' Severus barely recognised her voice. It was raspy, cold.

'Are you ready to pledge alliance to me? Are you ready to take my Mark, Morgaine of the Lake?'

'Yes, my Lord. I am ready.'

Like in slow-motion, Severus saw Morgaine extend her left arm towards the Dark Lord. No, this mustn't happen! He broke the circle, ran towards her and grabbed her shoulders. He had to protect her.

But it was too late. All the light had gone from her eyes, and burnt into her flesh was the Dark Mark. And Severus screamed in agony.

'No!'

He jerked awake. His shirt was sticking to his back, and he could feel the cold sweat of terror on his brow. He sighed in relief. It had been a dream, just a terrible dream. They were not in the initiation chamber. They were in his own quarters at Hogwarts, and Morgaine was sleeping soundly beside him. The Dreamless Sleep Potion he had given her was working perfectly.

He reached out for her and pulled her towards his chest. Her face was pale, her body icy cold. She seemed so little, so fragile.

Severus sighed. What had he done? Why had he ever let her get tangled up in this? Why had he taken her to Malfoy Manor? He had known that something was going to happen. Why had he not stood up to Dumbledore?

It is not your fault, Severus. You never had a choice. Neither of us had.

Severus smiled faintly. Even when she was asleep, Morgaine's mind was in tune with his. It was a glorious feeling.

He pulled her closer towards him and buried his face at her shoulder.

'I will protect you, my angel,' he whispered. 'With my very life, if necessary.'

~ ~ ~

On the first of January, Severus awoke to the smell of newly-brewed tea and honey. He sat up to find Morgaine sitting on the rug by the fireplace, a steaming cup in her hands. The flames were reflecting in her eyes, but he doubted that she actually saw them. Her thoughts seemed to be far, far away.

He slipped out of bed and sank to his knees behind her, wrapping his arms around her. For a while, she didn't seem to notice him, but then she let her head fall back against his shoulder.

'Did I wake you?' she asked in a slightly husky voice.

Severus shook his head and pulled her closer to his chest. She felt so cold.

'I wonder if it is snowing.'

He looked at her from the side. She was still staring into the fire but not really seeing it.

'I'd like to go out and run in the snow,' she said. 'I remember running in the snow with my mother when I was little.'

Severus just stared at Morgaine, not really sure what to make of her words. Why would she want to go running in the snow?

He heard her take a deep breath and saw her blink. It was as if she were just waking up from deep slumber. She turned her face and looked at him. There was a sort of serenity in her eyes he had not expected after the night's events. And neither had he expected to see her smile.

'Would you like to go to Hogsmeade today?' she asked. 'Remus and Tonks will be there. We could have lunch with them.'

'If that is what you would like,' he answered, eyeing her with slight concern.

'Yes, that's what I'd like.'

Morgaine was cheerful all day. She made jokes, she laughed, and she nagged Remus about taking out Tonks on a date. Yes, she seemed just as carefree and happy as she always did.

Severus kept in the background, observing her. This was not right. She had one of the worst nights of her life behind her, and there she was, bright and breezy. No, this was not right. But then again, he couldn't picture her sobbing in a corner either.

He kept his eyes on her all day, ready to catch her when she fell, ready to pick up the pieces when her armour crumbled, but nothing happened. The smile on her face reflected in her eyes, and it did not falter.

It was first on their way back to Hogwarts, when they were alone, that Severus dared to ask her. 'Are you alright, Morgaine?'

He saw her bite her lip, but just once, and then the smile was back. 'Yes, Severus, I am fine.'

'Are you sure?'

He gazed intensely at her. Her mind was wide open, and she invited him to join her thoughts. Yes, the dark memories of the last night were there, but they weren't overshadowing her other memories. He saw familiar faces: her grandmother, Lupin, himself. He caught glimpses of Hogwarts, his dungeon, Iceland. And there was the birch tree by the riverbank where they had once spent a whole night just listening to each other's thoughts. No, Morgaine was not going to let the last night's events break her.

'You are strong, Morgaine,' Severus said as he caressed her cheek with his fingertips.

She took his hand into hers and looked into his eyes. 'You know, Severus, the Dark Lord being back doesn't mean that the world will stop turning. People will still die of old age, babies will be born, and people will still fall in love. He is not going to take this from us. Not yet anyway.'

Severus pulled her towards him. All he wanted to do was hold her close, keeping her safe for just one single moment. When he let go of her, she stood tall, and Severus knew that she would fight bravely when the battle arrived.

~ ~ ~

I had two choices. One was to break down and cry, to tremble in fear and hope that the Dark Lord would never reach out his hand towards me anymore. The other was to stand up and fight.

And if I should die, I would die fighting.