VII: Ghosts from the Past

Author's note: Thanks to JKR for some wonderful characters. Many thanks to Trickie Woo for beta reading.

Chapter VII: Ghosts from the Past

The start of term feast was abundant as usual. The Great Hall was filled with the buzz of hundreds of voices and the clatter of plates and silverware. From his seat at the staff table, Severus was peering towards the Slytherin table, hoping to catch a glimpse of Morgaine. He could sense her presence, but as hard as he was looking for her bushy hair, he couldn't find her.

Just when he was about to give up, he caught sight of her. She was standing at the far end of the table, animatedly talking to another fifth-year Slytherin.

She certainly had changed over the summer. Severus guessed that she had grown about three inches. Or was she just carrying herself taller? And she had cut her hair. The bushy mane had given way to a wild and spiky short-haired cut. It suited her well.

Suddenly Morgaine turned her head and gave her Head of House a radiant smile. He quickly lowered his eyes. He had just realised that had been looking at her far too long for it to be appropriate.

~ ~ ~

I had done my homework well over the summer. For each day, it became easier to empty my mind of all emotions and to concentrate only on my mental barriers. Not once did I sense any other person's presence. But then again, I had never sensed anything with anybody other than Severus Snape.

And sure enough, his voice was there, in my mind, from the second I entered the Great Hall on the first of September. I didn't have to look for him at the staff table to know that he was sitting there, looking at me. I tried to shut him out, but my attempts were only half hearted. I found myself wondering what would please him more: me being able to shield my mind even from him or an invitation to join my thoughts.

~ ~ ~

After the fifth-years' first Potions class, Morgaine lagged behind her classmates. Severus knew at once that she had something to ask. He wasn't mistaken.

'Professor, there is something I don't understand.'

'Yes?' he knew that there was no point in denying her answers. He knew her well enough by now to know that she wouldn't rest until she got one.

'Why is it that I only sense your thoughts?'

Severus had been pondering that same question. He wasn't sure of the answer, but at least he had a theory.

'For some reason, Miss duLac, our minds seem to have connected during our second meeting after your arrival. A connection between two minds, no matter if it is voluntary, always leaves a trace. Once you have listened in on another person's thoughts, they will never really leave you.'

Morgaine narrowed her eyes, and Severus could feel that she was not entirely satisfied with his answer. Sure enough, she continued her pursuit.

'But, sir, you are an accomplished Occlumens. How did I manage to break through your barriers?'

Severus raised an eyebrow. 'That, Miss duLac, I cannot tell you.'

It was a lie. He knew exactly what had happened. He had neglected his mental barriers. Normally, there was no need to shield his mind when he was surrounded his by students since none of them possessed the abilities to read other people's thoughts. But Morgaine had this ability, and Severus was still slightly annoyed by the fact that he hadn't noticed it before. Yes, he knew why, but he wasn't ready to let her in on it.

He could see in her eyes that she wasn't satisfied with the answer he had given her, but for the moment she would have to be content. He shielded his mind and dismissed her.

~ ~ ~

He was lying. I wasn't trained in Legilimency, but I still knew. I tried to read his thoughts, but Severus had, of course, anticipated that. He raised his mental shields, and that told me quite clearly that he did not wish to discuss the matter.

But why, why was he lying to me? Why did he not want me to know why I had thrice managed to break into his mind?

~ ~ ~

Morgaine still came to see him every Friday night. He bombarded her with mental signals which she was supposed to block, and she did fine. As a matter of fact, she did more than fine for a fifteen-year-old.

Severus sometimes wondered where her talent came from. He knew that Dumbledore was no stranger to the arts of Occlumency and that magical powers were sometimes hereditary. But he had the impression that there was something more behind it.

He should get an answer to his questions on Halloween night. Morgaine had come to see him shortly after the feast.

'Professor, I want to know what I would have to do if somebody deliberately tried to invade my mind.'

He could hear the determination in her voice. He knew that she wouldn't rest until he told her.

He tried delaying an answer.

'Why do you want to know, Miss duLac?' he asked.

He could see her chewing her lip.

'Well, I've been reading some books on Occlumency, and they mentioned that keeping your mind shielded from the people around you and fighting off an actual attack on your mind are two completely different things.'

She was right of course, Severus couldn't deny that.

'Are you asking me to teach you how to fight of such an attack, Miss duLac?'

'Yes, I am, sir.' She sounded determined.

'Proper Occlumency is not something that is normally taught in fifth year, Miss duLac,' Severus replied.

'So you think that I am not ready for it?'

Severus oppressed a smile. Her stubbornness amused him. Of course, she was ready.

'And by the way,' Morgaine continued, 'today is my birthday. I'm entitled to a wish.'

How cheeky! This time, Severus couldn't hide his amusement.

'I have seldom encountered a little witch as stubborn as you are.' He saw her open her mouth, but he raised his hand in a yielding gesture. 'You shall get your birthday wish. But be warned. Having somebody wandering around in your mind is not a pleasant experience.'

'That's why I want to be prepared.'

She surely knew what she wanted. No wonder she had ended up in Slytherin. But still, Severus couldn't help but wonder why she wanted to be prepared.

'Well then', Severus said. 'I will attempt to penetrate your mind, and you will attempt to resist. For this to work, Miss duLac, I need you to clear your mind of all emotions.'

Morgaine nodded. She had done this before, she knew what to do.

'Legilimens.'

He hadn't really given her enough time to prepare, and therefore, Severus experienced no trouble whatsoever in penetrating her mind. He wanted her to get a little shock. He had after all warned her. He wouldn't go too far, though. He just intended to scrape a little on the surface of her conscious to give her a feeling of what was awaiting her.

Hogwarts, an Icelandic village, Dumbledore, Severus himself, places and people that had mattered to Morgaine over the last couple of years flashed through her mind and his. It gladdened Severus to see that he wasn't entirely irrelevant to her.

'Concentrate, Miss duLac, focus.'

He saw the face of a young woman with Morgaine's eyes. She was turning away from a little child. This had to be Morgaine's mother. Suddenly, Severus realised that he didn't know anything about Morgaine's parents.

He stopped his attempts. Morgaine was looking at him, slightly paler than only a couple of minutes ago.

'Was this your mother, Miss duLac?' he asked.

Morgaine nodded, chewing her lip. 'Yes. This must have been the night she left me with my grandmother.'

Severus sensed a hint of disappointment in her voice.

'How old were you?' he asked.

'Six, I think. I don't really remember,' Morgaine said in a cold tone. 'I haven't seen her since.'

Severus looked at her. There was a look on her face that he didn't recognise. Was it anger? Sadness?

'Do you want to continue, Miss duLac?' he asked.

Morgaine nodded.

'Very well, now concentrate,' he ordered. 'Legilimens.'

Severus found himself in a dark room. The woman he had seen before was cowering on the floor, naked from the waist up. Her back was covered with bloody streaks, and there was blood running down over her chin from her cracked lip. She was sobbing. There were hooded figures standing around her. Death Eaters. Severus felt his heart beat faster. How had Morgaine come in contact with Death Eaters?

He saw little Morgaine hiding in a dark corner. She couldn't be more than five or six years old. A tall young man with long blond hair dragged her into the circle. Severus recognised him at once. It was Lucius Malfoy. He pushed the girl into the arms of an imposing dark figure. The Dark Lord. Severus felt the blood in his veins turn to ice.

Little Morgaine was squirming in the Dark Lord's arms, trying to break free, but he held her in a firm grip. He lowered his head and murmured something into Morgaine's ear, and Severus could see her eyes go blank. Then the Dark Lord thrust a wand into the girl's hand and made her point it at her mother. And the woman screamed in agony.

Death Eaters, Morgaine's mother in their midst, the Dark Lord himself, Severus broke the connection. He was gasping for air. He had not been prepared for a vision like this.

He jerked up his head to look at Morgaine. She had risen from her chair. Her jaws were clenched, and there were tears glittering in her blue eyes.

'Morgaine, what ...'

He didn't get to finish his questions. He saw Morgaine sinking to her knees, and he hurried towards her to grab her by her shoulders.

'I had forgotten,' she said in a choked voice.

Slowly, it dawned on Severus what must have happened. He had obviously managed to access a memory Morgaine had long since repressed.

He laid his arm around the girl, felt her shaking. And then her self-control crumbled. He could see the tears streaming down her face and felt her gripping the hem of his robe. She was clinging to him for support. But as much as Severus wanted to comfort her, the words were stuck in his throat. He didn't know what to say. Clumsily, he pulled Morgaine towards his chest, stroking her hair with his free hand.

They were kneeling on the cold stone floor for what seemed like hours. Severus held the weeping girl in his arms, rocking her like a baby. He couldn't think of anything to say to console her. All he could do was keep her in his arms, keeping her safe.

Eventually, her sobbing subsided. There were still tears running down her face, but she seemed calmer. Severus helped her to her feet. When her knees gave way, he laid a supportive arm around her shoulders.

'Dumbledore needs to know about this.'

~ ~ ~

They found the Headmaster in his office. Severus was looking for words to explain why he brought Morgaine there in such a state, but Dumbledore beat him to it.

'I have been expecting you two', he said.

Severus was confused. How could Dumbledore have known?

'You forget, Severus, that I am no novice at Legilimency either,' Dumbledore explained. 'I knew Morgaine would ask you for a proper lesson tonight.'

'You have expected this?' Severus felt his temper rising. How could Dumbledore expose his great-granddaughter to something like this?

Dumbledore didn't answer. Instead, he turned towards Morgaine. She was still pale, but she had stopped crying.

'Morgaine, what do you remember about your mother?' Dumbledore asked.

Morgaine took a deep breath. 'Just that she brought me to my grandmother when I was about six. And that she left me there.'

'Morgaine, listen carefully now. Your mother didn't abandon you. She didn't have a choice. She did what was best for you. Your mother has made some decisions that – in retrospective – weren't the best. She fell in love with a young wizard, and she followed him without caring about where.'

'Morgaine's father,' Severus slowly asked. 'Was he a Death Eater?' He wasn't really sure that he wanted to know the answer to this question.

Dumbledore shrugged. He still didn't meet Severus' eyes but focused on Morgaine. 'I don't know who fathered you, Morgaine. I am not sure that your mother knew either. But yes, we have to consider the possibility that your father might indeed have been a follower of Lord Voldemort.'

Severus flinched. He knew how Death Eaters used to treat young women who had stumbled into their midst. He, too, had taken parts in their wicked games. If Morgaine's mother had followed her lover to a secret meeting, each and every one of the men present would have had his way with her. And if Morgaine had been begotten at one of these meetings, there was surely no way of knowing who had fathered her.

Dumbledore had sat Morgaine down on a chair and was kneeling before her. He was holding her hands.

'My child, when I came to Iceland on your eleventh birthday, I noticed that you possessed talents witches your age normally don't. This is why I fought so hard to persuade your guardians to send you to Hogwarts. I knew that your talents would sooner or later show themselves and that you would need to be properly trained.'

'The power to see into other people's minds is rare. I reckon this is a talent you have inherited from your father,' Dumbledore continued. 'Being able to read minds is both a blessing and a curse. That's why I asked Professor Snape to help you. He is one of the best Legilimens I know and also an accomplished Occlumens. If anyone can help you to handle your powers, it is him.'

Morgaine's eyes flickered towards Severus then back to Dumbledore. 'What is it that I have seen?'

Her voice was nothing more than a whisper, but Severus knew that she would not yield before she got an answer.

'My child, when your mother brought you to Iceland, you were both in a terrible state. You had been held captive by the Death Eaters for weeks. How your mother managed to escape is beyond my understanding.' Dumbledore's voice was annoyingly calm. He could have been reading a bedtime story. 'She told us what had happened, and we thought it best to make you forget what you had witnessed.'

'But I didn't forget. I remembered everything tonight. Everything I've seen, everything I've done.' Morgaine had found her voice again. Now her tone was almost accusing.

Dumbledore nodded. 'Yes, your guardians and I discussed whether we should remove these memories completely from your mind. We decided to just block them. I think it has worked quite well until now. But it seems like Severus here has managed to break through our barriers. It was, however not his fault.'

Not my fault? Of course it was not my fault! Severus felt the urge to shout these words out loud, but he kept silent. The girl had been through enough tonight, she didn't need to see him lose his temper as well.

Dumbledore rose and took Morgaine by the hand.

'Come, my child, there is no point in discussing this matter further tonight. I will escort you to the infirmary where Poppy can keep an eye on you.' For the first time, he turned to Severus. 'I'd like to speak to you when I return.'

Severus looked after Dumbledore and Morgaine as they left the office. He couldn't believe it. Dumbledore had known all this and hadn't deemed it necessary to say anything? How could he expose this child to such terrors? Severus clenched his fists. It took all his self-control not to smash any of Dumbledore's possessions. How could Dumbledore have made a decision like this?

When Dumbledore re-entered his office, Severus couldn't restrain himself.

'What kind of wicked game is this, Albus?' His voice was filled with anger. 'Why did you let me discover all this?'

'Because, Severus, I knew that you would make sure that Morgaine will choose the right path.'

'What?' Severus didn't understand a thing. And all he wanted to do right now was to punch the old man right into his face.

'You have been a Death Eater yourself,' Dumbledore continued.

Severus snorted. As if he needed to be reminded of that.

'You have seen all the evil the Death Eaters were capable of,' Dumbledore continued. 'Help Morgaine understand her heritage.'

Severus frowned. 'Just how exactly am I supposed to do this?' he asked in a bitter voice.

'Show her the right way. Teach her to make the choice between good and bad.'

And without any more explanations, Dumbledore dismissed the Head of Slytherin house.

Severus was fuming with rage. What was the old man expecting from him?

He had a good mind to turn himself around, go back to Dumbledore's office, and tell him to mind his own business. But then he remembered Morgaine. She must be so confused right now, and scared. He just couldn't let her face her demons alone. So instead of telling Dumbledore off, Severus turned and went up to the infirmary.

He found Morgaine sitting on a bed by the window. She had drawn her knees up to her chin and wrapped her arms around them. She was staring at something only she could see.

When Severus pulled up a chair beside her, she didn't seem to notice him at first. After a while, however, she spoke.

'What have I done?' Her voice was so feeble that Severus almost didn't recognise it. 'I pointed a wand at my own mother. I cursed my own mother.'

There was a hint of pure desperation in her voice.

Severus reached for her hand. It felt cold. He didn't know what to say. He just wanted to show her that he was there for her.

'What if I am bad?'

This question shocked Severus more than anything else he had seen and heard that night. How could the girl believe something like that? How could she blame herself for what had happened?

He pulled her hands towards him in order to make her look at him. But she turned away her head.

'Listen carefully, Morgaine,' Severus started. 'There was nothing you could have done to resist. You were probably under the Imperius Curse. You were just a child.'

Morgaine turned her head to look at him. Once more, there were tears running down her face.

Severus wanted to dry them off. He wanted to see her smile, and the fact that he couldn't do anything made him burn inside. 'You are a good person, Morgaine,' he started. 'And nothing will ever change that. I am going to take care of you.'