XV: The Harvest Feast

A/N: Thanks to JKR for some wonderful characters.

Thanks to Trickie Woo for beta reading.

Chapter XV: The Harvest Feast

Severus didn't know how many hours they had spent sitting under the birch tree by the river. He didn't care either. Actually, the whole world could have burst into flames around him and he wouldn't have cared. All he cared about that evening was the girl who was sitting beside him.

He didn't understand how he had come to deserve her friendship. She was like the first warm breeze of spring that warms the heart of people after a long winter. And he was like a grumpy old wolf who had been rejected by his pack and who was now roaming around in the dark forest, growling at the sunlight, refusing to let the spring breeze affect him.

But Morgaine had affected him. She had managed to break through the walls that he had so carefully built up around himself over the years. She had awoken feelings in him that he had long since forgotten. When she was around, he felt that he could experience friendship, that he could care.

She was good for him. But he didn't have the words to tell her. Damn his pride, damn his stubbornness, damn his fears of getting hurt.

Severus bit his lip. What would happen in a year's time when she graduated? She was going to leave Hogwarts, and he would once more be alone. Would she take the warm breeze with her? Would winter creep back into his heart? He shuddered. He didn't want to think about this. Not now. His fingers closed tighter around Morgaine's. He wanted to hold onto her, afraid that she would slip away.

'We should go back.' Her voice was warm and tender, with just a hint of sadness in it. 'It's getting late, and it's going to be a long day tomorrow.'

The Harvest Feast, Severus had forgotten all about it. It would be their last day together this summer. After the feast, Morgaine would have to stay with her grandmother and the other priestesses for three weeks, and he wouldn't see her again until the start of term. And then she would once more be his student and he her teacher.

Severus opened his eyes and turned his head only to find Morgaine looking at him. She smiled when their eyes met, and he smiled back, shyly.

'You should smile more often, you know,' she said. 'It becomes you.'

She reached out and carefully brushed a strand of hair from his face. Her fingers felt warm and tender on his skin.

Severus took hold of her wrist and brought her hand to his lips, placing a tender kiss on her palm, feeling her pulse against his fingers. He wanted to pull her into his arms and hold her, but he hesitated. She was his student, she was just a child, and he was her teacher, a grown man. It wasn't right. He had to resist. But how could something that felt so right, be wrong?

'Will I see you tomorrow?' he whispered.

Morgaine shook her head slightly. 'I will have to spend the day with the priestesses.'

Severus felt a sudden stab in his chest. This could just be the last time they saw each other before the start of term. They had only had a week together, but it had been one of the most carefree weeks in his life. He was going to miss her. And all he wanted to do now was wrap his arms around her and hold her until the morning, but he knew that it was time to return to the village.

'We must go back,' he said, his voice so soft that he barely recognised it himself.

Morgaine just nodded and let him pull her up. She came to stand only inches away from him, and he stared into her blue eyes, wishing that she were not his student, wishing that he were not her teacher.

When she smiled at him, Severus couldn't resist. He reached out for her and placed a tender kiss on her forehead. It was the most innocent gesture of affection, but at the moment, it meant the world to him.

The sun hadn't set yet as they returned to the village, and thus it was easy to make out the person who was sitting on the bench in front of Severus' quarters. It was Dumbledore.

'Beautiful night, isn't it?' the old man said, pointing at the full moon that was barely visible at the horizon. 'No wonder you two youngsters are still outside.'

There was a serene smile on his face, and Severus couldn't help but wonder why the old man had chosen just this bench to sit on.

'I should go check on my girls,' Morgaine said. 'I'm sure they're all giddy about the feast tomorrow. Sleep tight.'

A quick smile and a wink was all Severus got before she turned, and he just watched her walk away. This was not how he had imagined the end of the evening.

'Charming young witch, isn't she?' Dumbledore's voice seemed to come from far, far away. It took Severus a moment to realise that the old man was talking to him.

'There aren't many of her kind,' Dumbledore continued. 'Morgaine has the gift of being able to love people with all their flaws and shortcomings. And once she has taken someone into her heart, she will never let them go again. Her great-grandmother possessed that gift as well.'

There was a strange tone in the old man's voice, a mixture of sadness, regret and longing which Severus didn't quite understand. He sat down beside Dumbledore on the bench, and since he didn't know if he was supposed to say anything, he kept silent.

'Morgaine will come back here once she has finished her magical education,' Dumbledore went on. 'She has promised her grandmother.'

Severus nodded. He had feared something like that.

'Tell me, Severus, what will you do when she leaves?'

It was a simple question. The answer, however, was not as simple. Severus looked at Dumbledore, desperately hoping that the old man would have one in store.

Dumbledore placed his hand on the younger wizard's shoulder, and his voice was calm and assuring as he spoke. 'A word of advice, Severus, don't just let her go. She will need to know what is going on inside your heart.'

And then Dumbledore left, leaving Severus alone on the bench in the moonlight. And he just stared after the old man, wondering if he himself even knew what he was feeling.

~ ~ ~

My great-grandfather had chosen a good time to sit on that bench. I think he had been keeping a watchful eye on us all week.

Probably nothing. I was Severus' student, and he was not only my teacher but also too honourable a man to ever even make a move. But if Severus had asked me to spend the night with him, what would I have done? I think I would have said yes, although I knew I wasn't ready, although I knew it wouldn't have been right. But sometimes, the heart doesn't do as the mind tells it to.

~ ~ ~

The next day, by nightfall, people started gathering by the Well to await the start of the Harvest Feast ceremony. Severus could feel the tension in the air. It was filled with Old Magic.

He had positioned himself a little apart from the crowd. He wasn't going to take part in the celebrations. He had just come to see Morgaine. She would have to stay with the priestesses for three weeks after the ceremony, and he would return to Spinner's End the next morning. If he wanted to say goodbye, he would have to do it tonight.

The sound of chimes announced the arrival of the priestesses. Morgaine made up the rear together with her charges. As all the other girls, she was wearing a dark green robe, and around her neck she was wearing the Witch's Star. The dim light of the midnight sun caused her hair to shine in a warm, golden-red tone. To Severus, she looked beautiful.

'She is remarkable, isn't she?'

Lupin's voice made Severus spin around. His old schoolmate looked tired. It was the day after the full moon, and despite the nights being shorter up here on Iceland, the transformation seemed to have taken its toll on him.

For a moment, Severus considered his sentiments towards the man who was standing in front of him. If Lupin hadn't been a Gryffindor, if he hadn't been one of the blasted Marauders, he and Severus might just have gotten along when they were at school. They would never have been friends, Severus knew that, but at least, they could have respected each other. And, maybe, he would not have come to hate Lupin the way he did now.

But Lupin had been a Marauder. Sure, he had never taunted Severus. But by standing by and never preventing Potter and Black, he had still chosen sides, and Severus would never forgive him for that. So he just gave Lupin an icy look and then turned his back on him.

'She likes you very much, you know,' Lupin continued. He had either not noticed the way Severus looked at him or he didn't care. 'Treat her well, Severus. She deserves it.'

Severus watched as Lupin went down the hill. And as much as he disliked him, he couldn't deny that Lupin was right: Morgaine was remarkable, and she did deserve to be treated well. His eyes came to linger on her again, once more wondering why she had chosen him. There was nothing he had to offer.

Even before the ceremony had come to an end, he saw various couples sneaking off into the darkness to find an undisturbed spot to celebrate the Harvest Feast on their own. He heard the giggles, saw the hugs and the kisses, and he almost envied the young people for their carefree attitude.

But he left them all behind and directed his steps towards the river, towards the place where he had spent some of the most peaceful hours of his adult life. He sat down under the same birch tree as the day before. If Morgaine was looking for him, she would come and find him there.

And so she did. She came to sit by his side just as she had done the day before. And again, they sat in silence. There was no need to talk.

When the chill of the night started creeping up from the river, Severus reached out and laid his arm protectively around Morgaine's shoulder, pulling her towards his chest so his chin came to rest on her head. He inhaled the scent of her hair. It smelled of sandalwood and honey. All Severus wanted to do that night was to hold Morgaine close. And if it had been up to him, he would never have let go of her again.

~ ~ ~

How many people can point out the exact moment they fell in love?

But neither of us had spoken. Not that night and not for years to come. Because neither of us dared to speak of what we felt.