XXII: Friends and Foes

Thanks to JKR for some amazing characters.

Thanks to Apple Blossom for beta reading.

And thanks to you for reading and reviewing.

In this chapter, you will recognise passages from Rowling's 'The Dementor' and 'Grim Defeat' (PoA). I am only borrowing.

Chapter XXII: Friends and Foes

Yet another year of teaching dunderheads. Yet another year of taking care of the famous Harry Potter. Severus pulled the blanket over his head. He really did not want to get up. As far as he was concerned, there was absolutely nothing to look forward to on this first day of September. But he knew that he had no choice other than to get up. If he didn't, Dumbledore would personally drag him to his office. Reluctantly, he crawled out of bed, got dressed and then started his ascent to the headmaster's office to attend the mandatory start of term staff meeting.

He heard her laughter already in the staircase. It washed over him like the first warm rays of sun in spring. Severus froze. For a terrifying moment, he was convinced that he was dreaming. Morgaine was at Durmstrang. Surely, Dumbledore would have told him if she had come back to Hogwarts. But then again, Dumbledore seemed to immensely enjoy keeping him on tenterhooks whenever Morgaine was concerned.

Severus found it hard not to embrace her, hard to keep his hands from trembling when he shook hers, but he did not want his colleagues to know how much he had missed her. The feelings he harboured for Morgaine were private, of no one's concern but his.

Her smile was hearty as ever, and her eyes were sparkling. But she also looked pale and tired. And Severus couldn't help but wonder what she had been up to for the last year and a half.

He only knew that she had been teaching Potions at Durmstrang. It had worried him deeply to know that she was working at a school where the Dark Arts were appreciated, under a headmaster who had been a Death Eater. He had begged Dumbledore to get her away from there, but the headmaster had said that it was out of his hands.

Lucius Malfoy had mentioned once or twice how grateful Headmaster Karkaroff was that Morgaine had been sent there. And it had taken Severus all his self-control not to punch the complacent smile off Lucius' face.

Morgaine had never told him what exactly had happened between her and Lucius that New Year's Night. All Severus knew was that they had gotten into a fight, but he didn't know what it had been about. Neither did he know how Morgaine had managed to get away. But whatever she had done, it had infuriated Lucius enough to take revenge. Her transfer order had not carried Lucius' signature, but Dumbledore, Severus and Morgaine knew that nobody at the Ministry would have bothered about Morgaine being at Hogwarts. The whole affair had been a personal retribution. Whatever she had said or done, Lucius wanted to punish her, and he knew that banishing her from Hogwarts would sting more than anything else.

Yes, it had stung. Severus remembered the tremor in Morgaine's voice when she had told him that she would have to leave. And he remembered how he had withdrawn from her embrace. He had never been good with goodbyes.

It had just not been fair. They had just found their way back to each other, and he had not wanted her to go. And since he had known how much it would hurt to see her leave, he had kept his distance. On the evening of her departure, he had been in Dumbledore's office just as the rest of the staff had. He had wished her the best of luck and shaken her hand, but he had not said goodbye.

And now she had returned to Hogwarts.

Severus desperately hoped that the staff meeting would be short. He wanted to take Morgaine aside, talk to her in private, apologise for his silence and tell her how much he had missed her. Maybe he would even find the words to apologise. But Dumbledore had other plans.

'My dear colleagues,' he began. 'I would normally not bother you with any tiresome subject on your last student-free morning, but this year, I am afraid, you will need to bear with me for some moments.'

The chatter died away immediately. Despite Dumbledore's light tone, they all realised at once that he was about to address a serious topic.

'I am confident you have all read about Sirius Black escaping from Azkaban.'

Everybody nodded. Of course they had.

'There is reason to believe that Black is after Harry Potter.'

A murmur went through the staff, and Morgaine phrased the question that was on everybody's mind. 'Why would Black be after Harry Potter?'

Severus listened only half-heartedly to Dumbledore's explanation. He knew what had happened twelve years ago. He knew why Black had ended up in Azkaban. And he had truly hoped that Black would rot there forever. But unfortunately, he had managed to escape and was now on his way to Hogwarts to hunt down Harry Potter. And surely the little brat would sooner or later stumble into harm's way. Severus almost wished that Black and Potter would finish each other off, so he wouldn't have to bother with either of them. But then again, he had given Dumbledore a promise. He had promised to do anything in his power to protect the boy. Well, if protecting Potter resulted in sending Black back to Azkaban, he could live with that.

It wasn't until Dumbledore addressed the subject of the new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher that Severus became attentive again. Dumbledore had, once more, turned him down for the post, and he was eager to know who had landed the position he desired so much. The announcement came as a shock.

'Remus Lupin?' He couldn't believe it. 'The werewolf?'

'Yes, I am aware of Remus' condition, thank you, Severus,' Dumbledore said, smiling. 'However, Remus has gathered a great deal of experience over the years, and this will make him an excellent Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. As to him being a werewolf, Severus, I was rather counting on you to provide Remus with Wolfsbane Potion every full moon. We could buy it, of course, but I would prefer a potion that is made by somebody with your skills.'

Severus just nodded, scowling. He wasn't in a position to refuse.

Potter, Black, Lupin. He couldn't decide which of them he wanted to go to hell first. It was as if his worst nightmare had come back from the past to haunt him.

But what annoyed Severus the most at the moment was the smile that had appeared on Morgaine's face when Dumbledore had mentioned Lupin.

~ ~ ~

This just wasn't Severus' day. His expression went from slightly annoyed to angry when Dumbledore spoke about Black. And when Remus' name came up, his expression went from angry to murderous in a blink of an eye.

Dumbledore had known this, and still he had decided to bring Remus to Hogwarts. And I couldn't help but wonder what he was playing at.

~ ~ ~

The tumult started about an hour before the students were scheduled to arrive when a drenched owl came crashing into the staff room, carrying a message from Remus Lupin. Evidently, a Dementor had entered the Hogwarts Express and mounted an attack on Harry Potter.

One hour later, at the Start of Term Feast, Severus was sitting at the high table, glaring down at the boy. Of course the Dementor would have chosen Harry Potter. Why not? Even without trying, the brat managed to get himself into trouble and with that into the centre of attention.

Severus saw Lupin smiling down at Potter from the staff table. Now, that was just lovely. The father's best friend had come to mother the son. He shot Lupin an icy, hateful look, but the new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher did not even seem to notice.

But Morgaine had. She was sitting at Lupin's side, her eyes fixed on Severus, her teeth gnawing at her lip. Severus would have given a fortune for her thoughts, but she had raised her shields. Tonight, she was not going to give him access to her mind. And Severus withdrew, fortifying his own barriers and fixing his best scowl on his face.

~ ~ ~

Severus had avoided me all day. When I had arrived at Hogwarts that morning, I had been looking forward to spending the day with him. I had imagined that we would sit by the fire, drink tea, maybe play wizard chess. Hopelessly romantic, I know, but I was young then.

Then I felt another pair of eyes upon me. My great-grandfather was looking knowingly at me, then at Severus and at last at Remus, his blue eyes sparkling. And as he raised his goblet towards me, it dawned upon me that my main task this year would not be teaching Laws of Ancient Magic, but making sure that Severus and Remus didn't slit each other's throats.

~ ~ ~

After the feast, Dumbledore called the whole staff to his office. Severus had already positioned himself by the window, a little apart from his colleagues, when Lupin arrived with Morgaine at his side. Severus felt his stomach lurch. The two looked so at ease together, and Morgaine looked so happy, much happier than she ever had at his side, he thought. He had seen the smile on her face when Dumbledore had announced that Lupin would join the staff. He had seen her fall into Lupin's arms when he had arrived in the staff room. But, most of all, she had been distant all evening. Severus clenched his fists. Why, why did Lupin have to come to Hogwarts?

The arrival of the headmaster set a temporary end to Severus' brooding.

'Dear colleagues,' the headmaster began. 'I normally let you spend the first evening of the term in peace, but as you must have noticed, this year is going to be somewhat ... chilly.'

He looked around the staffroom, and his eyes came to a halt on Lupin.

'Remus already had the displeasure of encountering one of the Dementors, and I think we can be certain that this is not going to be the last incident of that type. Consequently, we need to be prepared. It is not in the nature of a Dementor to listen to arguments. If any of them should approach one of our students, I count on you to drive them forth. Therefore your Patronus Charms must be up-to-date.'

Once more, the headmaster's eyes scanned the room. 'Morgaine, do you know how to produce a Patronus?'

'Of course, she does,' Lupin burst out. 'It's a wonderful ...'

'How would you know, Lupin?' Severus interrupted, his voice cold as ice.

'I taught her this summer,' Lupin replied, smiling.

This summer? Severus felt the blood leave his face. Had Lupin been with Morgaine this summer? But he didn't say anything.

'Well, my child,' Dumbledore continued calmly. 'Will you show us?'

Morgaine nodded and pulled out her wand. Severus saw her chewing her lip.

'Expecto Patronum!'

A silver vapour erupted from her wand, slowly taking the shape of a winged dragon. It flew twice around the room, breathed fire and vanished.

'A Wyvern?' Dumbledore nodded knowingly. 'This is a powerful opponent, my child. Congratulations.'

And for the first time this evening, Severus felt triumphant. It might have been Lupin who had taught Morgaine to produce a corporal Patronus, but the one who had clasped the Wyvern pendant around her neck five years ago had been him, Severus Snape.

~ ~ ~

Once again, Halloween proved to be one of those days when Severus wished he had never gotten out of bed in the morning. This time, the cause of the disturbance had been neither a mountain troll nor a basilisk but Sirius Black. He had entered the castle and forced his way into the Gryffindor dormitory. The whole staff had spent the night searching the castle, but unfortunately, Black had managed to escape. Pity, Severus thought. He had been looking forward to handing Black over to the Dementors.

But what annoyed him even more than Black's escape was the fact that nobody would listen to his theories about how Black had managed to enter the castle in the first place. He couldn't have done it without help, Severus was certain of that. And who else would Black choose as an accomplice but his old friend Remus Lupin? But nobody would listen.

It was about three-thirty in the morning when Severus returned to his chambers. He had, once again, tried to talk to Dumbledore about his theory, but the headmaster had dismissed him. The old fool always chose to see the best in people.

Severus let himself fall into his armchair by the fire and grabbed the whisky bottle that was standing on the table. He almost dropped it when there was a knock on the door.

Disbelievingly, he stared at the door. Dared he hope? Dared he hope that it was Morgaine? She had not come here once since her return to Hogwarts.

At the second knock, he rose to answer. There she was, still wearing her black velvet dress, her hair the usual unruly mess, a tired look on her pale face.

'May I come in?' she asked.

Wordlessly, Severus stepped aside to give her access to his study. She slipped inside and settled at once in the armchair she had sat in so many times before.

'You couldn't sleep either, I see,' she said, pointing at the glass and the Firewhisky.

Severus just nodded as he sat down. This scene seemed familiar: Morgaine sitting opposite him, her hair shimmering in a golden-red tone, everything was just as it was supposed to be.

For a while, they sat in silence. Morgaine was staring at the flames in the fireplace, and Severus, well, he was staring at her, still wondering why she had come.

'How do you think Black managed to get into the castle?' she asked after a while without taking her eyes off the flames.

'I believe someone let him in,' Severus replied.

'I assume you have a suspect,' Morgaine stated. She was still not looking at him.

'I did express my concerns already at the start of term ...' Severus began, but the words got stuck in his throat when Morgaine turned to look at him. Her blue eyes locked onto his dark ones, and for a moment Severus had the familiar sensation that she was looking right into his soul.

'Dumbledore trusts Remus,' Morgaine pointed out.

'Dumbledore trusts many people,' Severus retorted, his voice suddenly filled with contempt.

He saw Morgaine chew her lip and heard her sigh deeply before she spoke again.

'Dumbledore trusts you.'

'What are you implying?' he snapped.

Morgaine raised her hand in a yielding gesture. 'Nothing, Severus, nothing at all.' She suddenly sounded tired. 'I should go.'

He felt her hand slightly brush his back as she passed his chair on the way out. When she had reached the door, she turned to face him once more.

'Don't you think that it is time to let the past rest, Severus? You've both grown up, you've both changed.'

'You and your great-grandfather both have the annoying habit of giving people second chances,' Severus stated in a bitter tone.

And once more, he heard Morgaine sigh. 'Yes, we do, Severus. Especially to those who believe that they do not deserve a second chance.'

~ ~ ~

For some days in the beginning of November, Severus felt that everything was just as it was supposed to be.

After her short visit on Halloween night, Morgaine seemed to look at him differently: the warm and tender look had returned to her eyes. She had chosen to sit beside him at dinner a couple of times, and she had even spent some evenings in the dungeon. And most importantly, she had been spending considerably less time with Lupin. Severus felt victorious. Maybe she was the only one in the castle who took his warnings about Lupin seriously. Maybe she too had her suspicions. Maybe she too thought it possible that Lupin had been helping Black into the castle.

But with November's full moon, everything changed again.

Severus couldn't explain it. His Wolfsbane Potion had been perfect, but still, Lupin had transformed that night. It had been a lucky coincidence that Dumbledore had decided to pay him a visit in his study that evening. He had arrived just in time to conjure a cage before the transformation had been complete.

The teachers had been supposed to guard Lupin that night. Not to make sure that he didn't escape, they all trusted Dumbledore's magic, but to make sure that no student accidentally wandered in. However, Morgaine decided that she alone would stay all night. After all, she had seen Lupin transform several times before, she knew how to take care of him once the sun had risen again.

Severus was not happy with her decision, but he didn't argue. He knew how stubborn Morgaine was. But when she decided to take care of Lupin during his recovery, he became furious. Why? Why did she prefer the werewolf's company over his?

Seeing Lupin enter the Great Hall at breakfast time three days after the full moon did nothing to lighten Severus' mood. Not only was Morgaine by Lupin's side, but the entire Great Hall, except from the Slytherin table, broke into applause. The little brats had surely missed their wonderful Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher.

Lupin looked awful. His face was ashen, his hair seemed greyer, and he was supporting himself with a cane. With his other hand, he held on tightly to Morgaine's forearm. She didn't look too well either. She was pale, and Severus noticed dark shadows under her eyes. She smiled at him as she and Lupin passed his end of the staff table, but Severus pretended that he didn't notice. And without even touching his coffee, he got up and left the Great Hall.

~ ~ ~

No one knew why the potion had not worked and why Remus had transformed that night. And Remus, of course, had been mortified by the fact that he had not recognised the signs earlier and taken security measures. I heard him mumble in his sleep. He was so afraid that one day he would attack a student. He even offered his resignation, but Dumbledore refused. It took me three days to make Remus leave his quarters, to come out and face his colleagues and his students. I offered him my arm and lead him to breakfast.

I didn't understand then that Severus took it as a personal betrayal. I didn't know then that one of his greatest fears was losing me to a Marauder. How was I supposed to know? It's not like he ever opened his mouth anyway.

~ ~ ~

Severus didn't find any peace in the dungeon. He tried to brew a new batch of Headache Potion, but as he added the peppermint leaves, he lost his focus. However hard he tried, he could not block the image of Morgaine's face from his mind, her smile, her eyes. And there was this whisper in his mind:

A friend is somebody who takes a step closer towards you and holds your hand when everybody else turns their back on you. Don't push me away.

Severus didn't know why these words had chosen to pop up into his head just now. He remembered the night Morgaine had spoken them and held his hand in the dark. She had promised never to leave his side. And over and over, she had been there when he had needed her, and still he had done the only thing she had asked him not to do: he had pushed her away.

What an idiot he had been.

He put down the peppermint leaves and left for the second floor. He had to go and see her.

There was no answer when he knocked at her office door, and he was just about to leave again when he noticed a small, emerald plaque beside the door: 'Greenhouse three.'

He turned on his heels and made his way to greenhouse three, but instead of Morgaine, he found Lupin there.

'Severus, what a surprise to see you here,' Lupin's voice did not match his worn looks ... he sounded rather cheerful. He waved some monkshood seedlings in front of Severus' nose.

'Come for these?' he asked.

Severus slightly wrinkled his nose at Lupin's dirty hands.

'Have you seen Professor duLac?' he asked in a cold tone.

'Morgaine? Well, as a matter of fact, I have,' Lupin responded. 'We were repotting monkshood. She left just a few minutes ago for her class.'

Severus picked up one of the pots and eyed it absentmindedly. Only a couple of minutes ago, he had wanted to apologise to Morgaine, but now, his temper was rising again.

'Repotting monkshood,' he repeated. 'Of course you were. Everything Morgaine has been doing lately seems to be related to you.'

Lupin stared at him. 'Now, what is wrong about caring for your friends, Severus? What is wrong about being there for them when they need you?'

Severus didn't answer.

Lupin was still staring at him, and there was now an angry look on his face. 'Why do you insist on pushing away everyone who comes close to you, Severus?'

'What are you talking about, Lupin?' Severus spat.

'You know exactly what I am taking about,' Lupin replied with a tone much angrier than Severus had ever heard it from him. 'You are really good at it as well. The last time somebody tried to stick up for you, you called her a Mudblood.'

Severus felt all the blood leave his face. 'How dare you?' he hissed.

'Oh, I think it's time somebody told you,' Lupin went on. 'Did you know that Lily spent several days crying in the common room after that incident? Did you know how much you hurt her by pushing her away? And now you're doing the same thing all over again.'

Why did Lupin have to tear open old wounds? Of course Severus knew. He knew exactly how much he had hurt Lily. He had tried to apologise, but she had not listened. And then she had turned from him for good. She had left him, abandoned him, not caring what would happen to him. She had turned from him when he had needed her the most. What if Morgaine was about to do the same thing?

Severus just stared at Lupin, unable to find a biting retort.

'I thought as much,' Lupin said, misinterpreting Severus' silence.

With a loud bang, he put down the pot he was holding, turned on his heels and stalked out of the greenhouse. For a while, Severus just stared after him. He had never seen Lupin like this. The man had never stood up for anything, not even as a prefect. And now, suddenly, he had released the Gryffindor lion within him and taken a stand for Morgaine. Just how much did she mean to him?

Absentmindedly, Severus picked up the pot Lupin had been working on and started repotting Monkshood seedlings, not allowing himself to feel the emotions Lupin's words had awoken. But he couldn't concentrate. Lupin's words were still ringing in his ears:

Why do you insist on pushing away everyone who comes close to you?

Yes, he had been pushing Morgaine away. He had never returned any of her letters, he had not even said goodbye to her when she had left for Durmstrang. And when she had been nursing Lupin, he had not seen this as an act of friendship, but taken it as a personal insult. He had not meant to hurt her. But pushing her away was easier than to see her turn away, turn to Lupin.

Suddenly, Severus felt stupid. How could he ever have thought that Morgaine was turning away from him? Maybe she had given Lupin the same promise she had given him? After all, Lupin and Morgaine had known each other since she was a child. Lupin was her oldest friend. Of course she would care for him.

With shaking hands, Severus put down the pot and left the greenhouse. He had never needed to see Morgaine as much as he did now.

Her lesson hadn't ended yet, and instead of bursting into her classroom and enduring the students' curious looks, Severus lingered in the corridor, observing her through the glass door. When she spotted him, she smiled, and with a slight nod of her head, she beckoned him to come in. But he shook his head. He would wait until the class was over and secretly savour the smile she had given him.

When the students filed out of the classroom, he still stood in the corridor, nodding curtly in the direction of those who mumbled some kind of greetings. Then Morgaine appeared in the doorframe.

'Professor Snape,' she said and bowed slightly. 'Welcome to my humble domain.'

This time, Severus followed her invitation. Her classroom was a bright room with big windows through which the morning sun was shining, making her hair shimmer in that warm golden-red tone that fitted her so well.

'I have a proposition for you,' Severus started. 'I cannot explain why the Wolfsbane Potion failed to keep Professor Lupin from transforming. Therefore, I will require a second pair of eyes when starting the next batch. Since you are the most suitable lab partner in the castle, I want you to assist me.'

He saw her raise an eyebrow. 'Is that an invitation, Severus?'

For a second, he stared at her. Did she have to make this situation even more embarrassing than it already was? Couldn't she just give him an answer?

Then her lips curled into a smile. 'Yes, Severus, I would very much like to brew that potion with you.'

'I will be expecting you on Friday evening then, eight o'clock.'

And without waiting for an answer, he swept out of the room, robes billowing behind him and his heart considerably lighter than it had been only an hour ago. She would come down to the dungeon on Friday, and everything would just be as it was supposed to be.