VI: Look at Me

Author's note: Thanks to JKR for some wonderful characters. Thanks to Daedalus Plum for beta reading.

Chapter VI: Look at Me

It was the first Christmas holiday in years that not a single student had stayed at Hogwarts. Severus welcomed the blissful silence that had settled over the castle. He had a lot of things to think about.

It was the day before New Year when Dumbledore came to see him in his office.

‘Severus, we haven’t spoken in weeks,’ the headmaster started. ‘Tell me, how are you doing?’

‘I am fine, Headmaster. Thank you,’ Severus answered. ‘But I am sure that my personal well-being is not the reason you came down here.’

‘Ah, perceptive as ever, dear Severus.’ Dumbledore was smiling. ‘And you are right. I came to speak with you about Morgaine.’

Severus nodded. He had expected something like that.

‘Tell me, Severus. How is the girl doing?’

Severus frowned. Dumbledore could not be talking about Morgaine’s grades. As headmaster, Dumbledore had access to all the students’ files. He wouldn’t need to come and ask about them.

Dumbledore seemed to have read his mind. ‘I ask because the transfer to Hogwarts must have been a big change for Morgaine. She isn’t used to being around so many people. Have you noticed anything unusual about her?’

Severus still didn’t understand where the headmaster was going. Why couldn’t the old man just come to the point?

‘You see, Severus,’ Dumbledore continued, ‘many of the women in Morgaine’s family are quite empathic and easily pick up on other people’s emotions. I was just wondering if Morgaine has shown any evidence of this talent.’

Suddenly, Severus understood. That was why he sometimes felt as if Morgaine was looking at him even though her back was turned. Why hadn’t he realised before that she was not looking with her eyes but with her mind?

Now he felt Dumbledore’s intense gaze upon him instead. But he wasn’t ready to share his observations with Dumbledore just yet.

‘She does seem to pick up on people’s mood swings, but that’s a talent many women possess,’ he replied in a rather indifferent tone. ‘Otherwise, I cannot say that I have noticed anything.’

It wasn’t the whole truth. But for the moment, Severus didn’t feel like disclosing more. Luckily, Dumbledore seemed content with the answer he had been given.

‘Please, Severus, do keep an eye on her, and inform me if you notice any signs,’ he said. ‘She is just a child, after all. If she is able to sense other people’s emotions, it could be very confusing, and we will need to help her to handle her gift.’ And without saying any more, Dumbledore left.

Severus was puzzled. Had Dumbledore just told him that Morgaine might have a natural aptitude for Legilimency? He tried to recall on which occasions he had sensed her presence.

The first time had been in his classroom. He had been suffering from a severe headache. He had had to focus all his mental energy on blocking out the pain that day.

The second time had been on the night of her Sorting. Severus had to admit that his mind had been very preoccupied that night, trying to figure out how Albus Dumbledore’s great-granddaughter had come to be sorted into Slytherin.

And the third time had been on Halloween. He hadn’t been quite himself that night either.

Could it be that Morgaine could pick up on his emotions in times when his mental barriers were weakened?

Severus knew that he didn’t have any choice. If Morgaine had the ability to read other people’s minds, he would have to find out soon in order to help her control that power. He himself had experienced how disturbing it could be to involuntarily connect with other people’s minds. He had learnt to control the power, but many other wizards had not, and they were often driven into madness by it. He would have to test Morgaine as soon as possible.

He took his chance during the first Potions lesson in January. Morgaine was working with Bill Weasley as usual in the front of the classroom. The lesson was almost over, and the students were already cleaning up after themselves when Severus decided that it was time to act.

He positioned himself in the back of the classroom, as far away from Morgaine as possible, and mentally scanned the classroom. There was a buzz of thoughts and whispers, but he had no trouble finding Morgaine. While the other thoughts were just a blur, hers were easily distinguished by their clearness.

He focused on Morgaine and sent out a simple thought:

Look at me!

He heard a phial smash on the floor and saw Morgaine spin around. Her eyes were widened with fear. She had heard him.

‘Class dismissed,’ he barked. ‘Miss duLac, you stay.’

Everybody quickly gathered up their belongings. They all knew how much the Potions Master hated it if somebody dropped something. Bill laid a sympathetic arm around Morgaine’s shoulder.

‘Now you’ve earned yourself your first detention. Don’t let him bite you.’

Morgaine didn’t react. In fact, she didn’t move at all. Her eyes were still fixed on her teacher.

Severus closed the door after the last student and locked it. What he was about to tell Morgaine wasn’t for anybody else to hear.

‘Have a seat, Miss duLac.’

He could see that her hands were shaking when she pulled up a chair.

‘This isn’t about the smashed phial, is it?’ she asked, her voice trembling.

Severus sat down opposite her.

‘No, it’s not,’ he said in a calm voice. He tried to look into her eyes, but she was avoiding his gaze. ‘You heard me, did you not?’

Morgaine nodded.

‘Has this happened before?’

She didn’t answer. Severus repeated his question, in a more severe tone this time. Morgaine needed to understand that this was important.

‘Miss duLac, has this happened before? Have you ever heard another person’s thoughts?’

‘Just yours.’ Her voice was so feeble that Severus could barely hear what she was saying. But he didn’t need to, he already knew the answer.

‘Miss duLac, look at me.’

Morgaine raised her head. Severus noticed that there were tears shining in her eyes. She looked scared.

‘Only a handful of wizards can do what you can do: see into other people’s minds. This power is called Legilimency. Some wizards have learnt to control this power and are, under certain circumstances, able to look into the minds of others and to interpret their findings correctly. Aurors, for example, are known to use this power to decide whether somebody is lying to them.’

Severus noted that Morgaine hadn’t taken her eyes off him while he was speaking. The tears had disappeared, but she still looked scared.

‘It takes years to master Legilimency,’ he continued. ‘It is a skill that by far exceeds the abilities of a fourteen-year-old. You seem to have been born with this power, and now you have to learn how to control it. As I understand it, your experiences of Legilimency have so far only been of involuntary nature?’

Morgaine nodded.

‘So you have never actively tried to enter another person’s mind?’

Morgaine just shook her head.

‘You will have to learn how to shield your mind then. This skill is called Occlumency.’

~ ~ ~

Look at me.

I had heard his voice before, but it had always been just a whisper. And now, it was talking to me. He was talking to me. It was a terrifying feeling to have somebody trampling around in my mind. For a moment, I thought I had gone insane.

By the time summer arrived, I had learnt how to close my mind and only to open it to those I wanted to enter. Severus was one of them.