Chapter 38

Severus ran down the beach; but when he got there, Hermione was gone. The end of the beach was empty up to the rocks that made it private. He stood with his mouth open and felt tears sting his eyes. Had she left? Then he heard a sob, and he moved closer to the rocks, searching in the crevasses. There was a small, hidden cave, and Hermione was sitting against the back of the cave with her knees drawn up to her chest and her forehead pressed against her knees.

"Hermione," he cried out in alarm as he crawled in and pulled her into his arms. "Please tell me what's wrong. You're scaring me half to death."

She clung to him. "I'm sorry, Severus. I'm sorry. Something hit me, and it so overwhelmed me with need. I was afraid you'd reject the idea, and it scared me so much."

He made her look at him as he held her in his lap. "Please tell me what it is. I cannot fathom anything you might say to me that would make me reject you."

"Anything?" she asked, her eyes pleading for him to understand her.

"Anything," he repeated adamantly, pulling her closer and placing kisses against her cheek.

"I want to have a baby," she choked out, gasping for breath, looking him in the eyes.

He blinked. "What?"

"Wrong answer!" she said angrily, pulling away from him.

Severus reached and grabbed her, toppling her back into his lap. "You want to have a baby! Hermione, you want to have my baby?"

She stopped trying to pull away and turned to look at him. He had a goofy, soft look on his face, and his eyes brimmed with tears.

"Of course it would be your baby. Who else's would it be?"

"I know you mentioned babies months ago, but I've lived my whole adult life thinking I'd never have a child...that no one would ever want my child. Having you in my life is so much more than I ever expected. The idea of a child overwhelms me with excitement and happiness."

Hermione was crying now, too. When she kissed his face, their tears mingled. She started to laugh, and he laughed with her. They climbed out of the cave and walked down the beach hand in hand. The sun went down and filled the evening sky with reds, gold, and oranges. They sat in the sand with a fire burning in front of them for warmth and watched the sunset. They ate and talked about the baby they would have.

They woke cuddled inside a sleeping bag that Severus had conjured. The fire near them was smoldering, and the sun was just coming up. They lay spooned together inside the bag, huddled against the cold morning, and watched the sun light the sky with brilliant pinks, yellows, reds, oranges, and blues. It was spectacular and seemed to rekindle their energy and life.

Finally they unzipped the bag, and Severus crawled out. He helped Hermione out and wrapped it around her. They walked back to the cottage and took a warm shower and then crawled into their bed. They slept for several hours before getting up to have a breakfast. Hermione found all sorts of wonderful Muggle breakfast things. She made a huge breakfast of waffles, sausage, eggs, and biscuits with loads of melted butter and honey.

She brewed Severus his favorite tea, Darjeeling.

After breakfast, Hermione asked, "Severus, can we walk into town today and do a little shopping?"

He groaned and then smirked at her. "I live for shopping."

She giggled. "I'll make a deal with you. You go to the bookstore, and I will look for the things I need in the dress and lingerie shops close by. Then we can have lunch."

He'd slipped up behind her. "Why didn't you say lingerie? I might enjoy that if you'll model for me." He placed kisses down her neck and shoulder.

"Sorry." She twisted away from him with a laugh. "It's going to be a surprise."

He leered at her backside and grinned. "There are a few Muggle chemistry books I have been planning to buy." He followed after her. "Maybe I should get a baby book, too. I know so little about them."

Hermione turned and allowed him to catch up. She touched his face with her fingers, letting them slide gently over his cheek. Then, as she turned away to get dressed, she called back, "You and me both. We can read it together." She stepped into underwear and a pair of jeans, and Severus hooked her bra for her. He let his fingers slide around to cup her breasts and knead them gently."

She slapped at his hands playfully. "Stop that. I really want to get the shopping over this morning. Get dressed, Mr. Snape."

"Yes, madam." He dressed similarly in black jeans and a white button-down shirt.

Hermione said, "I detected some hair on your face. Are you going to take a potion or shave?"

"Neither, I'm on vacation. We have eight more days, and I'm going to grow a beard," he informed her.

"Really?" She turned to study his face as he slipped into some shoes.

"Yes, ma'am." He stood up and, catching her hand, pulled her out of the room. They headed down the front stairs and started to walk up the beach toward the town. The sand was so soft that they ended up taking their shoes off and treading through the sand barefoot. It was starting to warm up and felt wonderful between their toes.

"A beard would look marvelous," she finally said as they walked hand-in-hand.

"Do you think so?" he asked, bringing her fingers up so he could kiss them.

"Very sexy," she murmured. She rubbed the stubble on his cheek.

"Well, I will make sure to put a softener on what I have so I don't injure you tonight," he promised.

They had reached the boardwalk. Severus and Hermione stepped up onto it and started to look at the shop windows as they headed for the boutique. Hermione went into the boutique, and Severus headed down the street a few doors to the bookstore. But something caught his eye, and he stepped into a shop. He felt odd and conspicuous as he made a purchase, but he knew it would please Hermione. He slipped into the edge of an alcove of a door down the street and shrunk and pocketed the item, and then he proceeded to the bookstore.

Hermione stepped into the boutique and wandered through the aisles and racks of clothing. Everything was geared more to teens, but she finally found a few things she thought Severus might like; she made the purchase and then went next door to the lingerie shop. She was surprised and pleased to find some sexy items. She had planned to alter something if it wasn't what she really wanted, but she was pleased that they had items for all tastes."

"Planning a special night, are we?" the saleslady said with a smile as she wrapped the delicate pieces of lingerie in tissue paper and placed them in a box.

Hermione blushed a bit. "Hopefully, making a baby." She grinned.

"Well, you may not know this, being a tourist, but my things have a reputation for just that purpose," she informed Hermione as she slipped the box into a twine-handled bag.

Severus appeared at the door with a heavy bag in his arms. "Hermione, are you done?"

Hermione nodded. "I was just coming out."

The woman raised her eyebrows as her eyes raked over Severus. "He's a beauty; good luck."

Hermione raised her chin proudly. "He is that. Thank you." She took hold of the handles on the bag and joined Severus at the door. His eyes had been darting around at some of the scantily clad mannequins.

He flashed the woman a smile and then took Hermione's arm, and they headed down the boardwalk toward a café.

"Did I hear her correctly?" he asked,

"Yes, she thinks you're a beauty. You are devastatingly handsome without the old scowl, and your face looks years younger now."

"Well if it does, it's all because of you, my love. That shops seems rather risqué for this little beachfront town."

Hermione laughed. "I told her the same thing, but she says it's quite popular. They certainly have wonderful things, and you will appreciate them very much tonight," she promised in a deep, sexy voice.

"I'm looking quite forward to it." He looked up as the waitress came to take their order.

"I would like the roast beef sandwich, a side of dills, potato salad, and iced tea." He gave his order and then looked at Hermione.

"I want the turkey club, little mayo and mustard, no pickles, and iced tea," She said. "Oh, can we have a basket of bread and cheese sauce?"

Severus raised an eyebrow at her when the waitress left. "Bread and cheese sauce. That's not so good for the waistline."

Hermione glared at him. "Are you saying I'm getting fat?"

"Hardly. I wouldn't mind a little more meat on your bones, but I know you try to be careful."

"I plan to work it off tonight, so I'm indulging," she said with a secret smile.

Severus felt himself harden a bit, but he ignored it. He would have to try to relax until they got home. He was so looking forward to whatever Hermione had in mind, he almost wished for a Time-Turner that would make the day go faster.

He reached into his bag from the bookstore and brought out the baby book he'd bought.

"Oh, Severus, you found one," she squealed. She gripped his arm with excitement, and he watched her face as she opened the book. Yes, motherhood will look wonderful on her. She was so pleased; he would keep it to himself that he was scared shitless. Was he really father material? He couldn't deny the idea of a baby thrilled him, but his son or daughter would have to live with what he'd been. Was that at all fair to a child?

Hermione must have picked up on his mood, "Severus, it's okay to be scared. I'm scared. Raising a child is scary and wonderful. You will make a great father."

"Are you reading my mind?" he asked, knowing she hadn't been.

She smiled. "No, I think your face reflects my fear, as well," she admitted nervously.

They moved closer together and looked into the book and started to pour over the pages as they waited for their food.

When they'd finished with the meal, Severus and Hermione walked hand-in-hand to the pier. They looked down at the water and down the peer, watching women pushing babies around, and they even witnessed a tantrum or two.

"Do we know what we are getting into?" Severus observed dryly as he watch one child fall to the ground, kicking and screaming for a balloon.

Hermione laughed at him and pulled him away. "Our child would never behave that way. It depends on how they are raised. If they tried that, they would know quickly enough that behavior like that was not acceptable."

"You wouldn't put a child in a body bind would you?" Severus asked in horror.

Hermione snickered and replied, "No, but I'm not opposed to a spanking now and then. I remember getting spanked maybe three times in my entire childhood. When my parents said something, I darn well knew to do it. The few times I didn't were memorable enough...not really from the physical punishment but more the embarrassment of it all. I also knew my parents loved me dearly by their daily actions." She frowned a bit. "I think at first they were scared to death of my powers. I remember hearing them talk of fear, but later I realized it was not fear of me but of people finding out what I could do and taking me away."

"But our world did, in effect, take you away to Hogwarts." He took her hand, and they stepped back onto the beach and headed for home.

"Yes, but by then they knew I'd have to be trained. The fact that there was a world for me to be accepted in and fit into relieved their fears greatly. I kept a lot of the facts about Voldemort from them." Hermione noted that he cringed when he heard the monster's name. "I'm sorry, you know I really need to let him be the past and forget about it all. It's been years, and we have the most amazing life ahead of us, Severus."

"It seems like only months to me, but you're right. Let's make a concerted effort to not speak of him again." He was quiet until she tugged on his arm and looked up inquisitively into his face. He sighed. "Not much gets past your notice."

"I've learned to read you well. What else is bothering you?" she asked, squeezing his fingers reassuringly.

"Please don't react too quickly. Hear me out," he pleaded.

"It's Lucius, isn't it? You want to help him," she said bluntly.

"Yes, you are a mind reader." He smiled down at her. "He did give me the spell to save the Weasleys. Azkaban is a hellhole. That place is not even fit for rats. No one deserves that kind of treatment. Well, there are some, maybe even Lucius, but he's changing. I can see it. Kindness and love saved me. Can I not try the same thing on an old friend? He was there for me at times in my life when I had nothing and no place to go. Granted he brought me into... You-Know-Who's circle, but I think we were both trying to belong in a world that just wouldn't accept us. You never met or even knew of his father. He was tyrannical. He was rich and beautiful like Lucius, but he was a horrible, cruel, dark man. He died shortly after we took the Mark. He insisted that Lucius learn about dark power and be a social climber. We are all products of the way we were raised. Truthfully, we could have chosen differently, but the odds were against us, and we had no Dumbledore at first to help us see there was a different life. Lucius felt betrayed by me at the end of the war. He asked me the first time I visited him why I didn't tell him about being a spy, why I didn't offer him the same out." He stopped and turned her toward him, looking her in the eye. "I was a coward. I was afraid he'd kill me. He never once suggested to me that he might not be happy with what he was doing."

"Are you sure he's not playing you now?" she asked still fearful of the man.

"I don't think so. I have been in his mind; he was never a good Occlumens. I think he's genuinely shocked to have been betrayed by me. After Narcissa died, he couldn't be angry with her, so he turned his anger on me, and it flared out of control when he heard I was alive. He truly regrets what he did to you. Old habits die hard for those of us tainted with the dark arts."

Hermione took his hand, and they went on down the beach. They were getting close to their private beach. She could feel the wards.

"I don't trust him, but I trust you, Severus. If you need to help him, do so. But make very sure that he is telling you the entire truth...for my sake and for the sake of the children we may have."

He slipped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her against him as they walked. "Thank you. I promise I will be careful. I know what I have to lose should anything befall you. You are my very life," he said.

She nodded. "And don't you forget that."

She shook away the thoughts of the past and Lucius and quickly changed the subject. "I'm going to need a few hours to get ready for tonight. I expect you to stay in the office and read those chemistry books."

"Really?" he asked. "What do you expect me to wear to this little party of yours?"

"Your black silk pajama bottoms will be enough," she informed him.

"Really?" He smiled down at her. His eyes were alight with the possibilities and that hungry look she loved to see in them.

"Really," she said as she began to pull him down the beach as they passed through the wards and could now see the beach house. "Come on, Severus. The sooner I'm ready, the sooner we can play."

"Impatient are we?" he asked, wondering how in the world he was going to concentrate for several hours on a chemistry book.

"I'm always impatient for you, my love," she said, giving him an impish look.

They reached the house, and Severus went and took a quick shower while Hermione headed to make some secret preparations in the kitchen. He pulled on the aforementioned silk pajama bottoms and then slipped his robe on, tying it about his waist. He dried his hair with his wand and applied a softener to the day-old stubble on his chin. He retrieved the package from his jeans pocket and expanded it. Then an idea occurred to him. He slipped into Poppy's office took a handful of Floo powder from the bowl next to the fire place and stepped through into his own sitting room. He went to his own potions cabinet and selected a couple of potions. Then he opened a small drawer in his desk and reached way in the back. He drew out a small, velvet box out and slipped it into his pocket. He grabbed a bag and gathered a few of their off-duty outfits and took them as well. Then he returned through the Floo.

Severus listened at the door and heard Hermione singing. He smiled; she hadn't even realized he was gone. Minerva would have received word that someone had come and gone from their quarters, but she would have waved it off, knowing he'd probably just come to fetch a forgotten item.

He turned and found the bag of books by the door. There was a note on the top that read, "Enjoy your reading when you return. I hope that Conceive Now Potion is one of the things you went to get."

Severus stared at the words and sighed. Nothing got by that wife of his. He was pleased that she didn't seem to mind that he'd left. He laughed to himself and got the little vials out of his pocket. He opened one and swallowed it. Then he put the other back into the pocket of his pajama bottoms. He opened the velvet box and stared at the item inside. Would she like it? Would she mind that it had been his mother's? He snapped the box shut and gathered the books and set them on the desk. He sat in the large, upholstered desk chair and opened the first book. He glanced at the door, wondering what delights were in store for him tonight. Then he forced himself to begin reading the chemistry book in front of him. Soon, he was lost in the formulas.

Lisa, thank you for your beta work. You have no idea how happy it makes me to have you working on my stories.

Angela, thank you for your support and comments.