Chapter 5

This story eventually becomes very adult. Minors, please do not read.

"Hermione!  You should have consulted me," he threw back at her angrily.

Hermione felt his coldness leave the couch. She pulled the blanket to her chin to shield herself.

Severus paced across the room and then turned to see her cowering under her blanket. "Damn it, woman, if you are going to cry every time I yell at you..."

"I'm not crying," she yelled back, cutting off his next words. "I needed to know that you weren't a figment of my imagination or a brain tumor."

"What?" He looked surprised. "I thought you realized I was real.  Your frozen fingers should have told you that," he said in exasperation. He waved his arms wildly, although he realized she couldn't see them. If felt good to be animated.

Now the tears came, and she felt foolish.  "I haven't cried this much in years.  I never thought I'd be faced again with actual disapproval from you, Severus.  I don't know how to deal with it.  You make me feel like that foolish girl in your class every time you raise your voice. I was traumatized when you made me cry in class."  She turned to face the fire.  "Fantasies are so much kinder," she whispered under her breath.

He tried to rein in his anger.  What would it hurt to have Poppy's help?  She had always been trustworthy, and she was as near to a mother as he had.  As a child, when others had beaten him up or tormented him, he had always run to her.  The first time she'd stumbled across him in a dark hallway, he'd been crying because James and Sirius had put a curse on him and turned his hair pink.

She'd taken her apron off and covered his hair with it and had taken him to the infirmary and actually held him in her lap as she'd spelled his hair back to normal.  She had known his mother had died shortly before he'd been sent to Hogwarts, and she had taken his mother's place in watching out for him. At 11, he'd been small and scrawny.  Since that day, he'd trusted her with his life, and she'd repeatedly saved him from bleeding to death after being tortured by Voldemort.

He sighed. "You were right to trust her.  She will keep your confidence.  I trust there was no physical reason that you are hearing me?"  He was slightly afraid that he was a figment of her imagination.  "After all, this entire situation is full of unbelievable scenarios."

Hermione sniffled and wiped her eyes dry on the hem of the blanket. "Severus, please come sit by me. It's so hard when I don't know where to look." She felt the coolness return, and she looked toward her feet at the space a little above her own eye level. "There is no physical reason."

She was surprised to hear him sigh.  "Were you afraid there was?" she asked, smiling at him.

"Well," he laughed bitterly, "my life has been one bad story after another.  Being the figment of a beautiful woman's brain tumor wouldn't be the worst place to be."

Hermione reached out and caressed the coolness of the barrier between them. Severus was touched, and he put his hand out as well.

Hermione drew her hand back when the cold intensified. "Thank you," she said.

"For what?" he asked, placing his invisible hands in his invisible lap.

"For reaching out to me and for understanding."

"You're welcome, Hermione."  He was looking at her cheek and wishing he could touch her when her hand flew to her face.

"You touched me!  I distinctly felt a finger run down my face. It was just like the kiss."  She was sitting up and looking into the coldness before her. "How did you do that?"

Severus backed away, not wanting to hurt her.  "I was thinking about touching you."

"Severus! That's amazing." 

"For you," he said. "I feel nothing."

She sat back dejected. "I'm sorry, Severus, but do you realize what this means?  You are getting through the barrier again, even if it's just with your mind.  Does your head hurt?"

"No, not much."  He got into her excitement.  "This time hurt less than the last."  What if he could learn to move things and touch people?  Maybe he could wear out this barrier from the inside.  He still had some magical power.

She looked suddenly shy.  "You kissed me..."

"Yes, well, at least I wanted to," he admitted, feeling a blush creep up his invisible neck.

"It was nice, Severus," she said softly.

He sighed and said, "You're an enigma, Hermione. You are a beautiful young woman, and yet you fantasize about me...not only before I died but after I was dead to you.  Can't you find a live man?"  The minute the words were out of his mouth and he saw her eyes widen in pain, he wished he could have bitten his tongue off.

She threw the blanket off and ran to the bathroom.

"DAMN IT! Women!" he screamed angrily at himself.  "Hermione, I didn't mean it like I said it!" he shouted.  But he only got silence.  He went to the door and listened and heard muffled crying.

He felt his fury release, and a book flew off the nearby table. He bent over as pain lanced through his head. He immediately used techniques from his spy days to calm himself, and with his hands clenched against his thighs, the pain left. 

The door to the bathroom opened and Hermione stepped from the room.  She picked up his wand and a pillow and took them through the door out into her classroom. He had no choice but to follow her. She locked his wand in her desk drawer and checked the locks and wards on her doors. "I need space tonight," she said, not really caring if he heard.  Then she left him there in the dark room.

He sat in 'his' chair at 'his' desk and fumed.  It was hours before he felt his sight start to fade, and he knew Hermione had finally fallen asleep.

             *****

The rest of his week was nearly the same.  Worse, she left him in the classroom when she went for meals.  There was a time or two when he became very uncomfortable as the bond between them stretched too far.  Yet, she always came back before the pain would start.

On Friday night, she was sitting in the chair by the fire with her feet drawn up.  Severus was sitting in the bathtub, whistling, when the door opened and she said, "Severus, please get out of the bathroom. I don't feel well." 

He moved past her.  "Hermione, please call Poppy if you really feel sick."

She slammed the door in his face.  Moments later he heard vomiting.  That made him nervous. What if she was really ill?  How would he get her help?  He had not tried to talk to anyone this week.  He wasn't even sure if anyone else could hear him.  Hermione had been so angry with him that she had kept him isolated all week.  Even Poppy, who knew he was here, obviously hadn't tried to reach him.  After a time, the door opened, and Hermione stumbled to the bed.

He came close and saw her face ablaze with heat.  "Hermione, did you take any potions?"

"Flu, 21 cases, several children... young ones... my first class. KaCe Higginbothom and Lynn Jamerson... Oh, God, Severus, I'm gonna die."  She proceeded to vomit over the side of the bed. 

Severus ran to the Floo, but try as he might, he could not pick up the powder and call for help.  "Accio wand," he called, but it did nothing but sit there.  He could see, from experience, that her temperature was dangerously high.  He went to the bathroom to get a fever reducer, and the bottle fell and splintered on the stone floor.  Pain was lancing through his head.  He crawled back to the bed and managed to slide in behind her. Though he stayed a distance away, he wrapped his coldness around her like a shroud.  He could feel the darkness coming, and he knew he was powerless to move away.  He prayed that somehow he would help her fever and not injure her in the process.

****

Slowly Severus became aware; he felt a warmness he had not felt in a long time against him.  He opened his eyes to see Hermione's nose inches from his.  She was sighing and snuggling closer.  The Barrier was gone.  He could feel her.  Her eyes suddenly snapped open, and she stared into his... nose.

"I know it's big," he said quietly, "but it's rude to stare." 

Her eyes shifted up a bit. "Sorry, Severus. I can feel you, but you're still invisible."

Disappointment ran through him, but her fingers exploring his face made him forget his problems.  "I can feel your touch," he said incredulously.

Hermione grinned and snuggled up to his chest.  "What happened? How did the barrier get broken?"  She laid her body against his. "You feel so good.  I was so hot and sick. I thought I was going to erupt like a volcano."  She coughed dryly against his chest.

"Your fever got very high, and I could not summon help; the pain in my head was blinding.  I was barely able to slip into the bed and try to wrap the coldness I had around you."

She frowned. "...a very odd curse," she said, slipping off to sleep again, and Severus did, too.

Hermione woke and slipped out of the bed. She heard Severus call, "Are you OK?"

"Loo," she said.  She locked herself in the bathroom, quickly used the facilities, and then washed her face and brushed her teeth well.  She tried to comb her hair, but she couldn't make it lay down. She came back out, found her wand, and cleaned the floor and bed. "Severus, are you still in bed?" 

He said, "Yes, do you want me to get up?"

"No, I need to rest some more."  She heard the sound of a hand patting the blankets.

"Hermione, cast a cleansing spell over me, as well; I really have no clue as to what condition I'm in."

She grinned weakly and did what he asked. Then she placed her wand next to his and crawled in. Strong, invisible arms reached out and pulled her close.

"You feel so good," she said, and he spooned himself behind her.

She grabbed his hand and brought it to her lips, kissing the back.  "If I didn't feel so weak, I'd be jumping all over, excited about what's happened here.  Severus, we are getting closer to figuring this out...well, undoing it, because I have no idea why it's changed.  You might be out of stasis. We'll have to see. Are you hungry or thirsty?"

"Not right now. I'm enjoying the feel of you next to me. I'm sorry about what I said the other day.  It came out all wrong. I wanted to know why you would choose a dead man's memory instead of a living man to marry and have babies with."  He could feel she was already on the edge of falling asleep again.

"...because there never has been another man for me, Severus.  I always felt I was born too late for you. We are intellectual equals, and you're a sex...y man." 

He smiled as they fell asleep again.

     ******

Severus woke cheek to cheek with Hermione and heard her sigh with pleasure. Her fingers reached up to slide over his face and then caressed his hair. 

He smiled against her cheek.

"It's so much better being able to touch you," she said in a whisper, trying not to disturb the peace that seemed to have enveloped them.

"I agree with you there."  He pressed a kiss against her temple.  "Are you feeling better? It's nearly 8:00 in the evening on Saturday. You need to eat something.  You should make tea."

She begged, "Just hold me a bit longer, Severus.  It's been years since anyone has held me."

"I could say the same," he said.  "No one wanted to hold this Death Eater.  I played the greasy bat of Hogwarts' dungeon well. Not even the women associated with the Death Eaters wanted me. Plus, not many of them trusted me because I was in Dumbledore's pocket."

"Severus, I know you're trapped with me..."

"Shhhush," he said, "I would be here with you even if I weren't. I was so scared earlier when you got sick.  Hermione, I couldn't help."

"You did help. You broke my fever, and it burned off the cold.  This is the oddest spell I've ever seen."

Severus nodded. "It seems to respond to your needs.  I've been thinking a lot this week. Somehow when you came with Minerva all those years after my death you stepped into the spell and got attached.  Maybe a tear fell on my wand.  I really don't know, but it locked us together, but only when you thought of me.  I know how intense working toward a master's in Potions can be.  When you came back and actually found the wand, making contact with it strengthened the bond we had.  You were open to hearing and seeing me because your mind was so tuned into thinking about me that you really could hear me."

"I needed you so much.  I have my profession now, and my work is exciting, but you inspired me and made me who I am.  I had this huge desire to share that with you, Severus. Last night, your bond to me responded to my fever and saved me. Now it's eaten away at the barrier, but you're still invisible.  Will the invisibility be the final layer of the curse?"

Severus said, "You realize this bond has changed me.  I would not have even considered being here with you, in this bed, in such a short time from returning to 'life.'  The spell itself seems to have changed me.  I'm no longer angry all the time. I no longer want to hide from the world and myself.  Since the Dark Mark is no longer active, it's possible that the spell could be losing its power on me."

Hermione threaded her fingers through his and drew them up so she could kiss them. "I'm glad you don't want to hide from life.  You are reborn, Severus.  You can be and do anything you want. I rather think the changes in the spell are triggered by emotional attachment.  Love is the last thing Voldemort would think would come for you, Severus, or that you would respond to someone unselfishly."

He urged her to turn toward him, and she rolled over and faced him. "You may be right," he said. "Emotional attachment was something Voldemort never had and never understood.  It was the only thing powerful enough to beat and destroy him."

He kissed her tentatively. Then when she didn't protest from pain or coldness, he devoured her mouth, plunging his tongue into her warmth and feeling her respond with equal fervor.  She arched her body against his, and his hands explored the plains of her neck, shoulders, and breasts. 

Hermione moaned and clutched at him.  The reality of his mouth and hands far outweighed the fantasy.  She wanted all of him. She reached out to try to help him out of his clothes, but they wouldn't budge. 

The kisses stopped, and he sighed; his forehead was pressed against hers. "I guess it's not going to be easy," he groaned.

She smiled and ran her fingers through his hair.  "I think it's time to go see Poppy."

Lisa, thank you for your beta work. I can not do this without you.

Becky, thank you for all your support and help.