Forty-Two
Chapter 43 of 50
neelixA/N: Many, many thanks to all who have been kind enough to leave a review. Mwuah!
Hermione felt ill and looked even worse than that, but she decided to put a brave face on things. She couldn’t leave Severus and Alicia to help Minerva alone, but she needed some time to get herself together and sent Alicia on to Hogwarts with a message to Severus that she would be there as soon possible.
She looked at herself in the mirror and scraped her hair from her face, fastening it with an elastic band. There were dark circles under her eyes, and she looked incredibly pale and wan. How ridiculous that her well-being was so intrinsically linked to how she felt about Severus, and how he may or may not feel about her. She stared at herself for a moment longer and wondered what had happened to the old Hermione Granger, who would not have been so cowed by events, but would have gone in for the fight with her wand aloft and her wits about her. It was the war, she knew. It had changed her very psyche on a fundamental level, and she had never been the same.
She shrugged on her grey cardigan and slipped her feet into her well-worn trainers, then trudged downstairs where Lexie was helping Donovan to finish his breakfast.
‘I’m going to Hogwarts, Lexie. I’ll be home by five at the latest, but if you need me, you have the Galleon, don’t you?’ She bent and kissed Donovan lightly.
‘Sure,’ Lexie said. ‘Miss Granger? Is everything okay? You don’t look too good,’ she said kindly.
‘I’m fine. Too much wine last night.’ Hermione forced a smile.
‘See you later, then.’ Lexie smiled at her, and Hermione turned and Floo’d to Hogwarts.
***
Barnabus Speight was a short, portly man with little hair and poor eyesight. On his initial meeting with him, Severus had felt his heart sink. This was the man on whom his hopes were pinned for Minerva’s speedy recovery. However, Severus quickly learned that appearances were more than deceiving in this instance. The man was articulate and knew his chosen field inside out.
Moreover, he thought he knew what was wrong with Minerva as soon as Severus described the symptoms.
‘There is a problem, however,’ he said warningly.
‘What is it?’ Severus could feel his hope fading yet again.
‘In order to treat Minerva, she would need to transform to her Animagus form first. And given that she is currently being sedated, there is no way of knowing if she would have the strength to do that after all this time.’ Barnabus looked over his spectacles at Severus gravely.
‘Would a Charm work?’ Hermione had entered the lab without them noticing and had stood, mouse-like, in the corner, as they discussed Minerva’s situation.
Alicia gazed at her coolly. ‘Of course it would, if she were conscious,’ she said dismissively.
Hermione bristled slightly and walked to the workbench, where they were gathered around the research papers.
‘I meant a Charm that would produce Minerva’s Animagus without the need for her to be conscious.’
She addressed the comment to Barnabus Speight, ignoring Alicia because of her attitude, and ignoring Severus because she knew she couldn’t look at him without breaking down.
Severus looked at her coldly but said nothing.
Barnabus Speight considered her words. ‘Is it possible?’
‘It’s something I have been involved in at the Ministry, an area of research I started but didn’t complete, but I can look up the notes and work through them, see if anything comes to light?’
‘That sounds like the best plan so far, Miss…?’
‘Granger. Dr Hermione Granger,’ she said succinctly, holding her hand out and shaking his firmly.
‘Well, I’ll be.’ His face lit up with a huge smile. ‘The Dr Granger that caused all the fuss in your department, Alicia?’ He looked at the blonde with a questioning gaze.
‘There was no fuss, Barnabus. We were all delighted for Hermione,’ Alicia said, a little too cheerfully.
‘Sure. Shame though, that your funding was withdrawn when you didn’t get the award,’ he said thoughtfully.
Hermione looked at Alicia in shock. The blonde witch had gone as white as a sheet.
‘Why didn’t you tell me that?’ Hermione asked her quietly.
‘It wasn’t important,’ Alicia whispered.
Barnabus looked from one witch to the other and snorted. ‘Sure. Not important. You lost your funding, and the department is closing at the end of the year.’
‘God, Alicia. Why didn’t you say something?’ Hermione implored her friend.
‘What damn difference would it have made, Hermione?’ Alicia’s eyes flashed with held-back anger. ‘You won the award fair and square after all.’
‘Of course I did.’ Hermione was totally thrown by the strength of Alicia’s response.
‘Not that you’re going to do anything with it,’ Alicia muttered.
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ Hermione glared at her.
Alicia snorted. ‘I knew as soon as you found out you were pregnant that you’d be weak and come crawling back to Severus, and any research or plans to further your career would be forgotten.'
'But it wasn't like that, Alicia, and you know it. I wanted Donovan to grow up in England, to be schooled at Hogwarts. If Severus was willing to meet with him, then of course I would encourage it, but to say that I came crawling back....' Hermione stared at the witch.
She was stunned by Alicia's response, and her brain was working overtime.
'Isn't that what you did, Hermione?' Severus's cold voice cut through her thoughts suddenly, and she turned to face him, aghast.
'What?' she said faintly. The look he was giving her was hard and emotionless, and she felt her legs start to tremble beneath her.
'Well, it's not easy supporting yourself and a child, I would imagine. How convenient it must have been, to find me on your doorstep that day. I suppose you put Potter up to the ruse, didn't you? He must have planted the letter, helped you to hoodwink me. Clever, actually. You had me fooled, for a time,' he hissed.
'You know that's not true, Severus!' Hermione cried. 'I love you, even if you did only ask me to marry you because of Donovan!'
It was Severus's turn to be shocked, and he momentarily forgot his own pain as he took in Hermione's dishevelled appearance and the haunted look on her face.
'That's not why I asked you to marry me, you stupid chit,' he snapped.
'Well, why, then? You've never even told me that you love me, so what other reason would there be if it's not Donovan? In fact, you can forget the wedding, Severus. I love you, I really do, but you don't need to marry me to be Donovan's father.'
Hermione was shaking, and she stared at Severus, who was also shaking and seemed suddenly struck dumb. She couldn’t take it any longer, and with a sob, she ran from the room.
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Latest 25 Reviews for Hilltop Cottage
734 Reviews | 7.3/10 Average
This was such a great read, thanks for sharing! I was especially happy to see that Minerva recovered well enough to be able to attend Severus' and Hermione's wedding. It just wouldn't have been the same without her. And Donovan, you just know that boy is going to be such a heartbreaker. Well done!
God what a beautiful beginning. I got chills when I read the first few sentences of this chapter. It reminded me of a 19th century British novel.... something from Hardy. I love your writing. There are naughty bits that are fun to read, but you have a charming prose that just strikes me sometimes. So, I just wanted to tell you how much I enjoy your writing. THANK YOU!
Response from neelix (Author of Hilltop Cottage)
To be compared to Hardy made me smile :) You're very kind,but more than that I'm so happy you like the,story :)
For such inteligent people, in the love department they really had lower grades...so quick to think badly of one another, especialy Severus, but Hermione had her moments, too.
I was so glad when they finally learned and began to trust each other!!!
It was an interesting journey. Thank you.
Great story :) Excellent job with the buildup, realistic angst scenes, and a happy ending. I thoroughly enjoyed it!
WTF!! Why is she letting Alicia plant stupid doubts in her mind? Alicia doesn't even know Severus! And Severus was obviously not too happy with Alicia. For Merlin's sake! What the hell is the matter with Hermione?? When did she become so gullible and wishy washy? This isn't the Hermione who stood up to Malfoy and punched him in the face! She needs to take a pill or something.
And there are a hell of a lot of worse things in the world than a man who stands by you as the mother of his child!!! Get over the Cinderella complex Herms. 
OK! What the Fuck is wrong with Severus now? These aren't weak minded individuals. Snape is a freaking spy who fooled Voldemort for like 20 year, for gods sake! He should be able to see a BSer from a mile away! These two are really getting on my freaking left nerve. Doesn't Mister Ligilimens remember being inside Hermone's head? I don't know how much more of their BS I can stand. Get over yourselves Hermione and Severus! You two are freaking making me want to poke my damned eyes out!!!
Oooooh, I never would have thought! Severus will put her in her place. There's a reason Hermione is his first and only relationship. I'm sure Alicia isn't the first woman to come on to the Potion's Master. 
Too bad for Hermione, though. Betrayed by a friend. Hopefully if Alicia realizes tonight that they are engaged to be married she will back off, for Hermione's sake. I can't imagine she would think she had a chance with Severus if he want's to brush her off. He's a master at putting people in their place.
I'm looking forward to that if it becomes necessary.
I just hope this doesn't interfere with Minerva's cure.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, neelix! 
It was about time these two became a family. I'm so glad Hermione realizes she should not have left him. I will forgive her for breaking Severus' heart because of her youth and immaturity.
Now that she's a grown woman, she hopefully has her priorities straight. She can still be Dr. Granger, but she should keep it in prospective. Now, what about dear Minerva?
Severus wouldn't be the first man to change his ways once a father. If I was Severus though, like you said in the story, he needs to be sure she is committed to making this work and not leaving again when she feels hurt. Obviously she has no idea how she nearly killed him the first time she left him. By the same token, Hermione wouldn't be the first woman to grow up and make a committment to see the rough spots through rather than leave when things got rocky after having a child together. Everything changes when a couple says, you are stuck with me for the rest of our lives. How do you want to do the next 60 years? The hard way or the easy way? Make your choice.
Hopefully, she has seen that if you leave, you just change the problems you have for new ones. Unless there is physical abuse, infedelity or addiction, I think most things can be worked out. The 4 things just mentioned would be deal breakers for me. I hope they are happy together now. That's what stories are for. The happily ever after.
Please!!! It's not my place to say???? For God's sake! Let drag out the pain as long as possible shall we? Intereasting the penny dropped and Severus knew why he hadn't got her letter. Luna had told her but I guess she wasn't listening. I give up! Snapes blaming himself for being a jerk but she isn't blaming herself for anything at all. She didn't do anything wrong.
"What- an- idiot!" Hermione. How long did it take you to realize he didn't know.
I'm going back to Hermione's visit to St. Mungo's. Is she that thick? Did she hear Luna say he didn't get her letter, or at least take the hint that he may not have gotten her letter, the same as Minerva, and that she was wrong? Now she has a chance to do something about it and it doesn't seemed to have crossed her mind.
Poor Severus. I don't remember reading any stories where I liked Severus and thought Hermione was the idiot. Good original plot, just uncomfortable.
She didn't want to give up the parties and her work for Severus, but she has because she had his baby. Now, she's just lonely while giving them up. And it was all unecessry. He jumping to the conclusion that she left him for someone else, and she to he conclusion that he couldn't change.
You never even gave him a second chance to know he was wrong. Was it worth it Hermione, in the scope of things?
Did you think you were going to find someone else who understood you better and loved you more?
You could have been pregnant while with Severus and had a baby together.
There needs to be a smiley for="Self Absorbed!"
I'll think about it????
I had written a novel sized review after the last chapter but I hit one wrong button and lost it. Damn!!! I think I spent an hour and a half going back and researching the story so that I could review all the chapters I'd missed at the same time.
She needed to put chapter 14 in a pensive.
As for this
"Hermione was thrown. Not only had Severus left Spinner’s End to help find a cure for Minerva, he was also back at Hogwarts. After all that time spent in New Mills, avoiding the wizarding world and holing himself up like a hermit, he was back in the public eye in a way she would never have anticipated. She wondered what it all meant." 
I'll tell you what it all means, little sister. It means you jumped the gun when you went off in a huff! You never worried about any one elses pain but your own, including the man you claimed to love.
I am sorry to be so bitter toward her for your sake. I don't blame the story or think the story is lame. I'm just pissed off at Hermione, still have a migrain and should be in bed, because I have to go to work tomorrow, but I can't stop reading your story.
Please forgive me for not spell checking.
Goodbye Severus???? Hermione stared up into his face. It shocked her to realise that she didn’t truly know the man before her. He was more complex and insecure than she had ever imagined, and he wouldn’t change, not ever.
She's his first relationship in his entire life and he is her first love. How does she know he won't change, ever.( 
Know-it- All) I will say, OK he is being a really big prick, a huge bastard and a fuck up. He has really hurt you with this.
However, he already has changed by having his first relationship this late in his life.
She knows she is the first person he has ever trusted like, this doesn't she?
I know she's hurt and doesn't think he really loves her right now, but I dont feel like she was ever really committed to a long term relationship with him. He was handy and helped her get over the war. I guess she was on a war just rebound.
She sure made up her mind rather abruptly!
Only a few momments ago she was declairing her deep love for him. Maybe what she should really say is, "he's just too complex and insecure for her to waste any more of her time on."
Is she sweet little Hermione who just accepts him as he is, loving him so unconditionally. Or, is she just not willing to take the time to work on a relationsip with Severus Snape. She doesn't seemed to have warned him that this, not going places with her, was becoming a deal breaker for her.
Has she ever brought up the fact that it bothers her that he never says he love her?
This is his first relationship in his entire life for a reason. Of course, she is young and after all he isn't her husband, he's just a "boyfriend".
I don't know what she means though, when she says she's shocked and doesn't know this man.
He's been a mean tempered git since the first time she met him when she was 11, and she just now realized he has a tendancy to jump to the worst possible conclusions when he's worreid or up set, and that he has serious anger management problems?
If she truly loves him as much as she says, I think she should have told him what the deal breakers were and given him a chance to prove himself.
He's already pissed off right now, as it is. So she can tell him what needs to happen if he wants to keep her then leave him to stew and think about how much he is willing to do to keep her.
I've been with the same man three times the number of years I was single or 3 times longer than I was alive when we first got together. You don't get to have a lifetime mate unless you give people a chance to work on their issues before you bail for good. I don't think Hermione had ever intended to spend her entire life with Severus.
After 5 years, I think she would have pressed him a little harder to work things out sooner.
Snape is being a real shit. Yes he just falsly accussed her. However, ‘I understand, witch,’ he whispered. ‘I wouldn’t want to stay with me either.’ Is this the hint of the century or what? He can't imagine why she had wanted to be with him in the first place. From chapt. 11-'I missed you, you know. After you “died.”’ Hermione made quotation marks with her free hand and looked into his face. ‘I had no idea you meant so much to me, until I thought you were gone forever.’
She was looking at him with expectation. Severus shrugged.
“I don’t know what you want me to say, Hermione,’ he sighed. ‘Whatever you see in me is misguided. I have nothing to offer.’
This is so sad.
I'm sorry for not keeping up on my reviews for each chapter, but I've had a migraine all weekend. I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about all that I've read so far. I hope they work this out.
about time! I should have been in bed two hours ago but I couldn't leave it on such a sad note.
This isn't a good sign guys.
Poor Severus. She didn't give him much of a choice without him rejecting her outright. But he doesn't have a chance in hell of coming away unscathed. Will it be worth it? I hope Hermione doesn't let me down. She on a war rebound which is worse than a Ronnald Weasely rebound. She says she needs him. Does she know what she's asking from him? I really don't think so. If he's in for a penny, he's in for a pound. Severus Snape does nothing in the middle. I hope Hermione see's that.
I'm very happy she has given Severus a garden. I hope she isn't leading him on. She seems very young here. I know that in a story this long there are usually some bumps in the road to love, but I never look forward to them. The story is sweet and filling me with anticipation of them becoming a couple.
I know Snape will keep her secret. And I think Snape is going to get a friend. Will it turn into a romance or will it bite him in the butt just like he probably expects it to?
I hope Hermione is trying to figure out how to get Snape back as much as he's trying to get her back.
I assume Severus will keep Hermione's secret. It's not Snepelike to gossip. But he'll think about what Minerva has said and will feel duty bound to check on "the girl". I wonder who will contact who first. I am also assuming that Hermione isn't using her wand so that she can't be traced back to this place by the Ministry knowing her wand has been used. When she uses it in Diagon Alley doing little insignificant spells, is just no one paying attention because of where the magic is being cast and mainly only notice it when it's in a Muggle area? Could the Ministry have found Hermione, Harry and Ron the last year of the war by following thier wands? 