Thirty-Two
Chapter 33 of 50
neelixHermione was sitting up in bed, tucked cosily beneath her bedclothes. A small lamp beside the bed gave the room some light. Across the small landing, Donovan was asleep in his cot, with an alert charm cast around it should he wake and need his mum in the night. It would have seemed to a casual observer that all was right with this contended family scene, but that wasn't the case.
Hermione couldn't sleep, for one thing. She held Severus's note, still unread, in her hand, turning it over and over. Her whole evening had given her food for thought, not least of all Luna's insistence that she should help research a cure for Minerva. How could she not, after seeing her friend so sick? She wished she could just wave her wand and make her better. But it would be even harder than that. It would mean talking to Severus.
Ordinarily, this wouldn't faze her. They had been friends before, and although she wouldn't deny she still had feelings for him, they could be friends again, she hoped. But it was different now, because she had Donovan. She would do nothing that would adversely affect her son, but she wouldn't deny him his father, either. How she was going to fix it, she had no idea.
Her eyes fell on the note. The parchment was just a scrap, so he hadn't written her a lengthy letter. It was probably something meaningless, but still she was finding it difficult just opening it, the thought of seeing his handwriting again making her feel like a lovesick puppy.
'Stop being so silly,' she muttered under her breath. With a slight pause, she opened the parchment, feeling her eyes prick with sudden tears as she stared down at his spiky scrawl.
'As the former tenant of Hilltop Cottage, I visited regularly to tend the garden and harvest some of the medicinal plants.
I would be grateful if we could reach an amicable arrangement that will allow me continued access to the garden. The plants have been conducive to the improvement in the health of our mutual friend.
Please reply at your earliest convenience. I am sure Staff Nurse Weasley can convey your message to me in a similar manner.
S. Snape'
Hermione stared at the note and absently traced her fingers across it. For some reason, knowing he had been the tenant didn't surprise her as much as it should have done. It accounted for the fact that he was rarely here, and that the rooms had been just as she had left them. It was comforting to know that no stranger had slept in the house.
Hermione glanced at the clock. It was almost two in the morning, and sleep was nowhere near coming. With a resigned sigh, she threw the bedclothes from her and padded quietly to the kitchen, grabbing a glass of cold milk and sitting herself at the kitchen table. She was pondering how to respond to Severus's note and realised that if she didn't do it now, it would bug her all night and she would be exhausted tomorrow.
Taking a sheet of plain writing paper and a Muggle ballpoint pen, she wrote quickly.
'Dear Severus,
Of course you can still use the garden. It's yours.
Luna suggested I might be of use in your continued research for a cure for Minerva. I am offering my services.
We may no longer be friends, but I think we could work together amicably, for Minerva's sake.
Hermione.'
Re-reading the note, she was pleased with the result. Any anger she had felt after the split had long been forgotten, replaced only with sadness and regret. The only positive thing that had come out of it was Donovan, who was now crying. She laid the letter aside and walked quickly up the stairs.
Donovan was standing up in his cot, his face screwed up as he cried.
'Shush, sweetie,' Hermione said gently, lifting him carefully and hugging him to her. Normally, she wouldn't have brought him into her bed, but tonight, Donovan wasn't the only one who needed a bit of comfort.
'Come on, Mummy's got you,' she said softly, holding him as she pulled the covers over them both.
Donovan stopped crying and opened his eyes, smiling at her.
'Mama,' he said.
'What did you say?' Hermione grinned at him. It was his first real word. 'Say it again, Donovan,' she encouraged him.
'Dada,' he said, smiling and holding her hair. Hermione felt a pang and wondered just how Severus would feel about Donovan, and if he had thought of him at all. They would probably need to have that conversation before they got any work done, she thought ruefully.
When she looked back at her son, he had fallen asleep. Gently, she took him back to his cot and added a warming charm to the room before returning to her own bed.
***
Severus rarely received Owl post, which is why he didn't bother to protect his breakfast when the morning mail arrived. He regretted it when a letter dropped and pierced the yolk of his egg, causing it to split and run onto his plate like an oozing yellow river.
He lifted the envelope and cleaned it with his wand, tucking it into the inner pocket of his robes without paying much attention to it. He was more concerned with what was happening at the Slytherin table and cast his eyes along to Professor Slughorn, current Potions master and Head of Slytherin House. Severus tutted audibly, and Filius nudged a distracted Horace with his elbow sharply. Slughorn glanced at Severus, who looked meaningfully in the direction of the Slytherin students. Nodding, Horace stood with a sigh and wandered over to dispense what passed as discipline these days. Severus didn't bother to watch, but stood to return to his lab. He had ingredients to prepare.
Severus had turned out to be a fair Headmaster this time around, and for the most part, he let everyone get on with his or her jobs without interference. His priority was Minerva's health and getting her back to work as quickly as he could. His first port of call on this morning was Minerva's office, laughingly referred to by some as his office. He didn't see himself as Headmaster. He was merely guarding the post for Minerva. He didn't go in there very often, only for the odd meeting with Kingsley or one of the other professors, but he had left his gardening book in there the last time.
Entering the office quietly, he tried to slip in un-noticed, but to no avail.
'Severus, my dear boy. To what do we owe the pleasure?' Dumbledore twinkled annoyingly from his portrait, and Severus stiffened but ignored him. Walking purposefully to the desk, he lifted the book and went to walk away, but was halted yet again.
'How is Miss Granger? We hear she has finally returned.' Dumbledore was eyeing Severus closely, but he remained blank.
'She has returned, yes. I believe she is in good health,' he said stiffly.
'Well, be sure to give her my regards when you see her, won't you?' Dumbledore smiled, and if Severus had looked in his direction he would have seen a smirk on his face.
Instead, he marched away without acknowledging the comment, until he was on the moving staircase and finally gave vent to the string of expletives he had tried so hard to keep at bay.
He was still cursing under his breath when he reached his lab. He slammed the book down onto the workbench forcefully and gripped it with his fingers whitening as he let out a long breath. Meddling, that's what everyone was doing, and the gods forgive him, he'd had quite enough of it. The sly comments, the knowing looks, the hints, were all forcing his hand. He would see the witch when he was bloody good and ready to deal with it, and not before.
He turned to his storage shelf, pulling down a selection of jars and frowning. His stock was lower than he anticipated, and with a sense of dread, he realised he would need to go to Hilltop Cottage before the week was out. He wondered if the witch had read his note, then suddenly remembered the letter from breakfast and fumbled hastily in his pocket for it.
The sight of his name in her handwriting didn't have the same impact as it might have done if he hadn't been so keen to read her response. What did shake him was her insistence that the garden was his, and he was suddenly assaulted with a memory of three identical yet barren patches of earth and her enthusiastic face when she first showed them to him.
He read the rest of the letter and let out a slow whistle. It certainly hadn't been easy researching Minerva's illness by himself. Often he had wanted to bounce an idea off someone else, but the Healers at St Mungo's, while not being hopeless necessarily, did not have the ability to think outside of their field of knowledge, and Staff Nurse Weasley was only as bright as her intuition. Research was not her forte.
But the witch? She devoured knowledge, soaked up details and information like a sponge. She would be the ideal partner...
His mind found its way to other aspects of his relationship with her, and he started to pace.
She had a 'family', according to the estate agent, which meant another already had her. She was no longer available, no longer free, and no longer his. She hadn't been his for over a year, or perhaps longer. Wasn't that why she had left in the first place, run away to America with her secret lover, the one she had denied, and lied about to his face? Severus growled in frustration.
There was no way of getting around the fact that he was buggered either way. He couldn't avoid contact with her, because he desperately needed access to the garden. He also badly needed her help in finding a cure for Minerva if he ever wanted to be free of the hell he currently resided in. Yet there she would be, playing happy families, sharing what had been their home with another. He didn't know if he could face it, but he had no choice.
As he scanned his jars of ingredients and double-checked the amounts he would need for the potion, he ran his fingers through his hair.
'Damn it,' he hissed.
Taking up a quill and a sheet of parchment, he started to write.
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Latest 25 Reviews for Hilltop Cottage
734 Reviews | 7.3/10 Average
This was such a great read, thanks for sharing! I was especially happy to see that Minerva recovered well enough to be able to attend Severus' and Hermione's wedding. It just wouldn't have been the same without her. And Donovan, you just know that boy is going to be such a heartbreaker. Well done!
God what a beautiful beginning. I got chills when I read the first few sentences of this chapter. It reminded me of a 19th century British novel.... something from Hardy. I love your writing. There are naughty bits that are fun to read, but you have a charming prose that just strikes me sometimes. So, I just wanted to tell you how much I enjoy your writing. THANK YOU!
Response from neelix (Author of Hilltop Cottage)
To be compared to Hardy made me smile :) You're very kind,but more than that I'm so happy you like the,story :)
For such inteligent people, in the love department they really had lower grades...so quick to think badly of one another, especialy Severus, but Hermione had her moments, too.
I was so glad when they finally learned and began to trust each other!!!
It was an interesting journey. Thank you.
Great story :) Excellent job with the buildup, realistic angst scenes, and a happy ending. I thoroughly enjoyed it!
WTF!! Why is she letting Alicia plant stupid doubts in her mind? Alicia doesn't even know Severus! And Severus was obviously not too happy with Alicia. For Merlin's sake! What the hell is the matter with Hermione?? When did she become so gullible and wishy washy? This isn't the Hermione who stood up to Malfoy and punched him in the face! She needs to take a pill or something.
And there are a hell of a lot of worse things in the world than a man who stands by you as the mother of his child!!! Get over the Cinderella complex Herms. 
OK! What the Fuck is wrong with Severus now? These aren't weak minded individuals. Snape is a freaking spy who fooled Voldemort for like 20 year, for gods sake! He should be able to see a BSer from a mile away! These two are really getting on my freaking left nerve. Doesn't Mister Ligilimens remember being inside Hermone's head? I don't know how much more of their BS I can stand. Get over yourselves Hermione and Severus! You two are freaking making me want to poke my damned eyes out!!!
Oooooh, I never would have thought! Severus will put her in her place. There's a reason Hermione is his first and only relationship. I'm sure Alicia isn't the first woman to come on to the Potion's Master. 
Too bad for Hermione, though. Betrayed by a friend. Hopefully if Alicia realizes tonight that they are engaged to be married she will back off, for Hermione's sake. I can't imagine she would think she had a chance with Severus if he want's to brush her off. He's a master at putting people in their place.
I'm looking forward to that if it becomes necessary.
I just hope this doesn't interfere with Minerva's cure.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, neelix! 
It was about time these two became a family. I'm so glad Hermione realizes she should not have left him. I will forgive her for breaking Severus' heart because of her youth and immaturity.
Now that she's a grown woman, she hopefully has her priorities straight. She can still be Dr. Granger, but she should keep it in prospective. Now, what about dear Minerva?
Severus wouldn't be the first man to change his ways once a father. If I was Severus though, like you said in the story, he needs to be sure she is committed to making this work and not leaving again when she feels hurt. Obviously she has no idea how she nearly killed him the first time she left him. By the same token, Hermione wouldn't be the first woman to grow up and make a committment to see the rough spots through rather than leave when things got rocky after having a child together. Everything changes when a couple says, you are stuck with me for the rest of our lives. How do you want to do the next 60 years? The hard way or the easy way? Make your choice.
Hopefully, she has seen that if you leave, you just change the problems you have for new ones. Unless there is physical abuse, infedelity or addiction, I think most things can be worked out. The 4 things just mentioned would be deal breakers for me. I hope they are happy together now. That's what stories are for. The happily ever after.
Please!!! It's not my place to say???? For God's sake! Let drag out the pain as long as possible shall we? Intereasting the penny dropped and Severus knew why he hadn't got her letter. Luna had told her but I guess she wasn't listening. I give up! Snapes blaming himself for being a jerk but she isn't blaming herself for anything at all. She didn't do anything wrong.
"What- an- idiot!" Hermione. How long did it take you to realize he didn't know.
I'm going back to Hermione's visit to St. Mungo's. Is she that thick? Did she hear Luna say he didn't get her letter, or at least take the hint that he may not have gotten her letter, the same as Minerva, and that she was wrong? Now she has a chance to do something about it and it doesn't seemed to have crossed her mind.
Poor Severus. I don't remember reading any stories where I liked Severus and thought Hermione was the idiot. Good original plot, just uncomfortable.
She didn't want to give up the parties and her work for Severus, but she has because she had his baby. Now, she's just lonely while giving them up. And it was all unecessry. He jumping to the conclusion that she left him for someone else, and she to he conclusion that he couldn't change.
You never even gave him a second chance to know he was wrong. Was it worth it Hermione, in the scope of things?
Did you think you were going to find someone else who understood you better and loved you more?
You could have been pregnant while with Severus and had a baby together.
There needs to be a smiley for="Self Absorbed!"
I'll think about it????
I had written a novel sized review after the last chapter but I hit one wrong button and lost it. Damn!!! I think I spent an hour and a half going back and researching the story so that I could review all the chapters I'd missed at the same time.
She needed to put chapter 14 in a pensive.
As for this
"Hermione was thrown. Not only had Severus left Spinner’s End to help find a cure for Minerva, he was also back at Hogwarts. After all that time spent in New Mills, avoiding the wizarding world and holing himself up like a hermit, he was back in the public eye in a way she would never have anticipated. She wondered what it all meant." 
I'll tell you what it all means, little sister. It means you jumped the gun when you went off in a huff! You never worried about any one elses pain but your own, including the man you claimed to love.
I am sorry to be so bitter toward her for your sake. I don't blame the story or think the story is lame. I'm just pissed off at Hermione, still have a migrain and should be in bed, because I have to go to work tomorrow, but I can't stop reading your story.
Please forgive me for not spell checking.
Goodbye Severus???? Hermione stared up into his face. It shocked her to realise that she didn’t truly know the man before her. He was more complex and insecure than she had ever imagined, and he wouldn’t change, not ever.
She's his first relationship in his entire life and he is her first love. How does she know he won't change, ever.( 
Know-it- All) I will say, OK he is being a really big prick, a huge bastard and a fuck up. He has really hurt you with this.
However, he already has changed by having his first relationship this late in his life.
She knows she is the first person he has ever trusted like, this doesn't she?
I know she's hurt and doesn't think he really loves her right now, but I dont feel like she was ever really committed to a long term relationship with him. He was handy and helped her get over the war. I guess she was on a war just rebound.
She sure made up her mind rather abruptly!
Only a few momments ago she was declairing her deep love for him. Maybe what she should really say is, "he's just too complex and insecure for her to waste any more of her time on."
Is she sweet little Hermione who just accepts him as he is, loving him so unconditionally. Or, is she just not willing to take the time to work on a relationsip with Severus Snape. She doesn't seemed to have warned him that this, not going places with her, was becoming a deal breaker for her.
Has she ever brought up the fact that it bothers her that he never says he love her?
This is his first relationship in his entire life for a reason. Of course, she is young and after all he isn't her husband, he's just a "boyfriend".
I don't know what she means though, when she says she's shocked and doesn't know this man.
He's been a mean tempered git since the first time she met him when she was 11, and she just now realized he has a tendancy to jump to the worst possible conclusions when he's worreid or up set, and that he has serious anger management problems?
If she truly loves him as much as she says, I think she should have told him what the deal breakers were and given him a chance to prove himself.
He's already pissed off right now, as it is. So she can tell him what needs to happen if he wants to keep her then leave him to stew and think about how much he is willing to do to keep her.
I've been with the same man three times the number of years I was single or 3 times longer than I was alive when we first got together. You don't get to have a lifetime mate unless you give people a chance to work on their issues before you bail for good. I don't think Hermione had ever intended to spend her entire life with Severus.
After 5 years, I think she would have pressed him a little harder to work things out sooner.
Snape is being a real shit. Yes he just falsly accussed her. However, ‘I understand, witch,’ he whispered. ‘I wouldn’t want to stay with me either.’ Is this the hint of the century or what? He can't imagine why she had wanted to be with him in the first place. From chapt. 11-'I missed you, you know. After you “died.”’ Hermione made quotation marks with her free hand and looked into his face. ‘I had no idea you meant so much to me, until I thought you were gone forever.’
She was looking at him with expectation. Severus shrugged.
“I don’t know what you want me to say, Hermione,’ he sighed. ‘Whatever you see in me is misguided. I have nothing to offer.’
This is so sad.
I'm sorry for not keeping up on my reviews for each chapter, but I've had a migraine all weekend. I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about all that I've read so far. I hope they work this out.
about time! I should have been in bed two hours ago but I couldn't leave it on such a sad note.
This isn't a good sign guys.
Poor Severus. She didn't give him much of a choice without him rejecting her outright. But he doesn't have a chance in hell of coming away unscathed. Will it be worth it? I hope Hermione doesn't let me down. She on a war rebound which is worse than a Ronnald Weasely rebound. She says she needs him. Does she know what she's asking from him? I really don't think so. If he's in for a penny, he's in for a pound. Severus Snape does nothing in the middle. I hope Hermione see's that.
I'm very happy she has given Severus a garden. I hope she isn't leading him on. She seems very young here. I know that in a story this long there are usually some bumps in the road to love, but I never look forward to them. The story is sweet and filling me with anticipation of them becoming a couple.
I know Snape will keep her secret. And I think Snape is going to get a friend. Will it turn into a romance or will it bite him in the butt just like he probably expects it to?
I hope Hermione is trying to figure out how to get Snape back as much as he's trying to get her back.
I assume Severus will keep Hermione's secret. It's not Snepelike to gossip. But he'll think about what Minerva has said and will feel duty bound to check on "the girl". I wonder who will contact who first. I am also assuming that Hermione isn't using her wand so that she can't be traced back to this place by the Ministry knowing her wand has been used. When she uses it in Diagon Alley doing little insignificant spells, is just no one paying attention because of where the magic is being cast and mainly only notice it when it's in a Muggle area? Could the Ministry have found Hermione, Harry and Ron the last year of the war by following thier wands? 