Twelve
Chapter 13 of 50
neelixA/N: I hope you're all still with me? Sorry for the delay. Have a great Christmas, everyone.
Hermione sat beside the window and watched as the scenery beyond it changed by the mile. The rolling Derbyshire hills and dry-stone walls gave way to a more industrial landscape, images of the revolution that shaped the history of the area and forever changed the face of the world. As the train entered Manchester and pulled up at the crowded platform, Hermione could feel herself tense slightly. It had been a few months since so many people had surrounded her.
Hermione closed her eyes for the rest of the journey, not really sleeping but pretending to. Over the years, Hermione had realised that she had one of those faces that endeared her to strangers and gave them the impression that she was up for a conversation. At first, because she was a nice person and hated to be rude, she would be civil, and tedious conversations would ensue. Unfortunately, she found she had little to share with the common Muggle, and explaining that she was a witch was never a good idea, even if she wanted to. Inevitably, Hermione would then spend most of her time listening to the Muggles as they talked incessantly about themselves. Today, she chose to avoid this.
The train arrived at Kings Cross just before one o'clock, and Hermione walked quickly down the platform and towards the humming noise of the city.
***
The house at Spinner's End looked like it had been burgled. The furniture in the front room had been decimated to such an extent that even clever magic wouldn't be able to entirely repair it. Shards of broken wood, smashed glass and the stuffing from the armchair completely covered the carpet, and the room was filled with dust and the aroma that hangs in the air after Bonfire night, sulphurous and cloying.
At the edge of the melee, slumped against the wall, Severus sat with his wand in his shaky hand. Streams of sweat ran down his face, mingling with his frustrated tears as he gulped in huge breaths of air, trying to calm himself and failing miserably.
His stomach hurt as if someone had thrust a red-hot poker into his gut, and somewhere under his ribcage, his heart was beating wildly as if protesting from such wanton mistreatment. His body had thrust its sense memory forwards with force as soon as he had made it back to the house, for he had been here before with Lily. He knew rejection, and he knew the pain it brought. But this was worse than the last time. Although he couldn't or wouldn't name it, Severus had fallen in love, and this was what it felt like when his heart was broken.
He couldn't stop seeing her face. He couldn't stop the tears.
***
Hermione stood in front of the mirror in the toilets of the Leaky Cauldron, feeling and looking like a different woman. She hadn't lost her touch, and the Glamour she had applied was flawless. Putting on her robes, she inspected her look critically. Her hair was a mousy brown, tied back in a ponytail. Her eyes were now blue-grey, her face rounder than normal, and her mouth smaller and thinner. In fact, she was so nondescript that she wouldn't earn a second glance, which was exactly what she had been aiming for.
She pointed her wand at her rucksack and Transfigured it into a tapestry carpetbag with a leather strap. She already had Galleons from her last shopping trip, and when she was sure she was all set, she ventured out into Diagon Alley feeling refreshed and alive after letting her magic loose again.
Her first stop was to Madam Primpernelle's Beautifying Potions, where she bought as many bottles of Sleekeazy as she thought she would be able to store in her tiny bathroom. She also purchased a bottle of 'All Over Wonder Cream,' which claimed to smooth and hide any bodily imperfections for that 'special night.' Hermione laughed softly to herself. She hoped she would have the opportunity to try that out very soon.
Her thoughts now firmly with Severus, she took the liberty of purchasing a newly published, up to date Herbology book from Flourish and Blotts. The book had a special section on growing specialist plants for potion making. It was a personal gift, but not too intimate. Their relationship hadn't gone that far yet, but as Hermione waited for the shopkeeper to parcel up her books, she felt a little frisson of excitement about the forthcoming evening. Grabbing her books quickly, she all but ran from the shop and back down the alley in her sudden haste to return to New Mills.
She didn't even notice Harry and Ginny as they strolled along hand in hand.
***
Severus made a perfunctory effort at cleaning up his house, but his heart wasn't in it. He felt like a wrung-out dishcloth, weak and good for nothing. He would have to buy a new armchair, and from the way his small table kept wobbling over to one side, he guessed he would need to replace that too. With a deep sigh, he trudged into the kitchen and filled his kettle. He thought of Hermione as the water started to pop and crack over the heat of the gas ring.
Had the wine addled her brain so much that she had seen more in their friendship than there could ever be? Her emotions had been unsettled for weeks; her rambling musings when she was weepy had held the promise of so much. And yet, after acting on her whims, she must have come to her senses finally, and who would blame her? Severus was in no doubt that a life lived with him, in peaceful solitude, would be nought but a half-life. The commonplace Muggle town of New Mills was no place for a witch with her talents and potential, no matter how hard it was for him to cope with his own personal loss.
And yet, wasn't it her who had insisted it was worth a shot? Wasn't it her, with her seductive persuasion and breathy pleading, who had cajoled him into this mess in the first place?
'Give me a chance, Severus,' he repeated her words harshly, his anger bubbling up again. She had hoodwinked him, pulled him into her little experiment like a spider beneath a microscope.
'Bitch,' Severus hissed. He stormed back into the living room and pointed his wand at the wobbly table.
'Bitch!' he yelled.
The table exploded in a shower of red sparks.
***
Hermione was getting impatient. Already it was gone nine o'clock in the evening, and their programme had just finished. He hadn't missed it in over six weeks, so where the hell was he?
She stood and walked into the kitchen, opening the bottle of wine that had been chilling for hours in anticipation of his arrival. She poured herself a glass, throwing the metal wrapper from the neck of the bottle into the bin along with the remains of an oddly beheaded bunch of flowers she had found, dropped just outside her front gate.
She lifted the glass and took a sip before going to the front door and looking out onto the lane. There was still no sign of Severus, and Hermione frowned. What if he was ill? Or something had happened to him? Or, what if... With a sharp intake of breath, Hermione gasped.
He had cold feet! Why hadn't she thought of that? He had been a reluctant participant in this new relationship, and she had all but beguiled him into it. No matter how enthusiastic he had been once they had perfected the kissing, in the cold light of day, he must be having second thoughts. Perhaps he had decided she really was too young for him? Or maybe she wasn't his type?
Hermione felt her stomach clutch in dread. She had made such an effort tonight. Her hair was smooth and silky, and she had smothered herself from head to little toe in Wonder Cream. Other than plastic surgery or constantly wearing a Glamour, there was nothing else she could do to improve on her looks. She hoped Severus wasn't that shallow, but what did she know of his tastes and desires where women were concerned? Apart from his well-documented and unrequited crush on Lily Evans -- which Hermione had always dismissed, because teenagers fall in lust at the drop of a hat anyway -- she knew absolutely nothing.
Although, hadn't he told her he had never had a girlfriend? She was sure that's what he had said.
Hermione's eyes narrowed, and with Gryffindor impulsiveness roaring inside her, fighting and winning against her more cautious side, she grabbed her wand from the side of her rucksack that she had left by the bottom stair, threw on her thin grey cardigan, and slammed the front door behind her.
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Latest 25 Reviews for Hilltop Cottage
734 Reviews | 7.3/10 Average
This was such a great read, thanks for sharing! I was especially happy to see that Minerva recovered well enough to be able to attend Severus' and Hermione's wedding. It just wouldn't have been the same without her. And Donovan, you just know that boy is going to be such a heartbreaker. Well done!
God what a beautiful beginning. I got chills when I read the first few sentences of this chapter. It reminded me of a 19th century British novel.... something from Hardy. I love your writing. There are naughty bits that are fun to read, but you have a charming prose that just strikes me sometimes. So, I just wanted to tell you how much I enjoy your writing. THANK YOU!
Response from neelix (Author of Hilltop Cottage)
To be compared to Hardy made me smile :) You're very kind,but more than that I'm so happy you like the,story :)
For such inteligent people, in the love department they really had lower grades...so quick to think badly of one another, especialy Severus, but Hermione had her moments, too.
I was so glad when they finally learned and began to trust each other!!!
It was an interesting journey. Thank you.
Great story :) Excellent job with the buildup, realistic angst scenes, and a happy ending. I thoroughly enjoyed it!
WTF!! Why is she letting Alicia plant stupid doubts in her mind? Alicia doesn't even know Severus! And Severus was obviously not too happy with Alicia. For Merlin's sake! What the hell is the matter with Hermione?? When did she become so gullible and wishy washy? This isn't the Hermione who stood up to Malfoy and punched him in the face! She needs to take a pill or something.
And there are a hell of a lot of worse things in the world than a man who stands by you as the mother of his child!!! Get over the Cinderella complex Herms. 
OK! What the Fuck is wrong with Severus now? These aren't weak minded individuals. Snape is a freaking spy who fooled Voldemort for like 20 year, for gods sake! He should be able to see a BSer from a mile away! These two are really getting on my freaking left nerve. Doesn't Mister Ligilimens remember being inside Hermone's head? I don't know how much more of their BS I can stand. Get over yourselves Hermione and Severus! You two are freaking making me want to poke my damned eyes out!!!
Oooooh, I never would have thought! Severus will put her in her place. There's a reason Hermione is his first and only relationship. I'm sure Alicia isn't the first woman to come on to the Potion's Master. 
Too bad for Hermione, though. Betrayed by a friend. Hopefully if Alicia realizes tonight that they are engaged to be married she will back off, for Hermione's sake. I can't imagine she would think she had a chance with Severus if he want's to brush her off. He's a master at putting people in their place.
I'm looking forward to that if it becomes necessary.
I just hope this doesn't interfere with Minerva's cure.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, neelix! 
It was about time these two became a family. I'm so glad Hermione realizes she should not have left him. I will forgive her for breaking Severus' heart because of her youth and immaturity.
Now that she's a grown woman, she hopefully has her priorities straight. She can still be Dr. Granger, but she should keep it in prospective. Now, what about dear Minerva?
Severus wouldn't be the first man to change his ways once a father. If I was Severus though, like you said in the story, he needs to be sure she is committed to making this work and not leaving again when she feels hurt. Obviously she has no idea how she nearly killed him the first time she left him. By the same token, Hermione wouldn't be the first woman to grow up and make a committment to see the rough spots through rather than leave when things got rocky after having a child together. Everything changes when a couple says, you are stuck with me for the rest of our lives. How do you want to do the next 60 years? The hard way or the easy way? Make your choice.
Hopefully, she has seen that if you leave, you just change the problems you have for new ones. Unless there is physical abuse, infedelity or addiction, I think most things can be worked out. The 4 things just mentioned would be deal breakers for me. I hope they are happy together now. That's what stories are for. The happily ever after.
Please!!! It's not my place to say???? For God's sake! Let drag out the pain as long as possible shall we? Intereasting the penny dropped and Severus knew why he hadn't got her letter. Luna had told her but I guess she wasn't listening. I give up! Snapes blaming himself for being a jerk but she isn't blaming herself for anything at all. She didn't do anything wrong.
"What- an- idiot!" Hermione. How long did it take you to realize he didn't know.
I'm going back to Hermione's visit to St. Mungo's. Is she that thick? Did she hear Luna say he didn't get her letter, or at least take the hint that he may not have gotten her letter, the same as Minerva, and that she was wrong? Now she has a chance to do something about it and it doesn't seemed to have crossed her mind.
Poor Severus. I don't remember reading any stories where I liked Severus and thought Hermione was the idiot. Good original plot, just uncomfortable.
She didn't want to give up the parties and her work for Severus, but she has because she had his baby. Now, she's just lonely while giving them up. And it was all unecessry. He jumping to the conclusion that she left him for someone else, and she to he conclusion that he couldn't change.
You never even gave him a second chance to know he was wrong. Was it worth it Hermione, in the scope of things?
Did you think you were going to find someone else who understood you better and loved you more?
You could have been pregnant while with Severus and had a baby together.
There needs to be a smiley for="Self Absorbed!"
I'll think about it????
I had written a novel sized review after the last chapter but I hit one wrong button and lost it. Damn!!! I think I spent an hour and a half going back and researching the story so that I could review all the chapters I'd missed at the same time.
She needed to put chapter 14 in a pensive.
As for this
"Hermione was thrown. Not only had Severus left Spinner’s End to help find a cure for Minerva, he was also back at Hogwarts. After all that time spent in New Mills, avoiding the wizarding world and holing himself up like a hermit, he was back in the public eye in a way she would never have anticipated. She wondered what it all meant." 
I'll tell you what it all means, little sister. It means you jumped the gun when you went off in a huff! You never worried about any one elses pain but your own, including the man you claimed to love.
I am sorry to be so bitter toward her for your sake. I don't blame the story or think the story is lame. I'm just pissed off at Hermione, still have a migrain and should be in bed, because I have to go to work tomorrow, but I can't stop reading your story.
Please forgive me for not spell checking.
Goodbye Severus???? Hermione stared up into his face. It shocked her to realise that she didn’t truly know the man before her. He was more complex and insecure than she had ever imagined, and he wouldn’t change, not ever.
She's his first relationship in his entire life and he is her first love. How does she know he won't change, ever.( 
Know-it- All) I will say, OK he is being a really big prick, a huge bastard and a fuck up. He has really hurt you with this.
However, he already has changed by having his first relationship this late in his life.
She knows she is the first person he has ever trusted like, this doesn't she?
I know she's hurt and doesn't think he really loves her right now, but I dont feel like she was ever really committed to a long term relationship with him. He was handy and helped her get over the war. I guess she was on a war just rebound.
She sure made up her mind rather abruptly!
Only a few momments ago she was declairing her deep love for him. Maybe what she should really say is, "he's just too complex and insecure for her to waste any more of her time on."
Is she sweet little Hermione who just accepts him as he is, loving him so unconditionally. Or, is she just not willing to take the time to work on a relationsip with Severus Snape. She doesn't seemed to have warned him that this, not going places with her, was becoming a deal breaker for her.
Has she ever brought up the fact that it bothers her that he never says he love her?
This is his first relationship in his entire life for a reason. Of course, she is young and after all he isn't her husband, he's just a "boyfriend".
I don't know what she means though, when she says she's shocked and doesn't know this man.
He's been a mean tempered git since the first time she met him when she was 11, and she just now realized he has a tendancy to jump to the worst possible conclusions when he's worreid or up set, and that he has serious anger management problems?
If she truly loves him as much as she says, I think she should have told him what the deal breakers were and given him a chance to prove himself.
He's already pissed off right now, as it is. So she can tell him what needs to happen if he wants to keep her then leave him to stew and think about how much he is willing to do to keep her.
I've been with the same man three times the number of years I was single or 3 times longer than I was alive when we first got together. You don't get to have a lifetime mate unless you give people a chance to work on their issues before you bail for good. I don't think Hermione had ever intended to spend her entire life with Severus.
After 5 years, I think she would have pressed him a little harder to work things out sooner.
Snape is being a real shit. Yes he just falsly accussed her. However, ‘I understand, witch,’ he whispered. ‘I wouldn’t want to stay with me either.’ Is this the hint of the century or what? He can't imagine why she had wanted to be with him in the first place. From chapt. 11-'I missed you, you know. After you “died.”’ Hermione made quotation marks with her free hand and looked into his face. ‘I had no idea you meant so much to me, until I thought you were gone forever.’
She was looking at him with expectation. Severus shrugged.
“I don’t know what you want me to say, Hermione,’ he sighed. ‘Whatever you see in me is misguided. I have nothing to offer.’
This is so sad.
I'm sorry for not keeping up on my reviews for each chapter, but I've had a migraine all weekend. I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about all that I've read so far. I hope they work this out.
about time! I should have been in bed two hours ago but I couldn't leave it on such a sad note.
This isn't a good sign guys.
Poor Severus. She didn't give him much of a choice without him rejecting her outright. But he doesn't have a chance in hell of coming away unscathed. Will it be worth it? I hope Hermione doesn't let me down. She on a war rebound which is worse than a Ronnald Weasely rebound. She says she needs him. Does she know what she's asking from him? I really don't think so. If he's in for a penny, he's in for a pound. Severus Snape does nothing in the middle. I hope Hermione see's that.
I'm very happy she has given Severus a garden. I hope she isn't leading him on. She seems very young here. I know that in a story this long there are usually some bumps in the road to love, but I never look forward to them. The story is sweet and filling me with anticipation of them becoming a couple.
I know Snape will keep her secret. And I think Snape is going to get a friend. Will it turn into a romance or will it bite him in the butt just like he probably expects it to?
I hope Hermione is trying to figure out how to get Snape back as much as he's trying to get her back.
I assume Severus will keep Hermione's secret. It's not Snepelike to gossip. But he'll think about what Minerva has said and will feel duty bound to check on "the girl". I wonder who will contact who first. I am also assuming that Hermione isn't using her wand so that she can't be traced back to this place by the Ministry knowing her wand has been used. When she uses it in Diagon Alley doing little insignificant spells, is just no one paying attention because of where the magic is being cast and mainly only notice it when it's in a Muggle area? Could the Ministry have found Hermione, Harry and Ron the last year of the war by following thier wands? 