Thirty-Six
Chapter 37 of 50
neelixThe sight of his mother crying against the shoulder of the man wearing black was obviously upsetting Donovan Granger quite a bit, because right now, his lower lip was shaking tremulously and his eyes were full of tears.
'Mama...' he wailed, his hands patting her face to get her attention. After a short moment, it worked.
Hermione pulled reluctantly away from Severus's one-armed hug, wiping her eyes and smiling up at him ruefully.
'It's okay, sweetie, don't cry. Mummy's fine,' she said soothingly, rocking him from side to side. 'Severus, would you mind?' She handed Donovan to Severus, who stared at her as if she was mad but took the child clumsily from her and held him at arms length.
'Hermione, I have no idea what to do with him,' he said in a panic.
'Just sit with him for a minute. He's probably thirsty, I'll just get him some water,' she said. Turning, she walked to the kitchen and filled a child's drinking cup with tap water and then brought it back into the room. She looked at Severus and Donovan and then laughed out loud.
Severus had sat on the sofa and placed Donovan beside him in the same seated pose. Donovan was staring up at him warily, not quite knowing what to make of him at all.
'That wasn't what I meant,' Hermione laughed. Lifting Donovan, she placed him firmly onto Severus's lap, took Severus's hands and showed him how to hold him and handed Donovan his water, which he took eagerly.
Severus looked down at the black hair of his son and smirked slightly.
'It would be impossible to hide his paternity,' he said softly, raising his eyes to Hermione.
Hermione smiled and nodded. 'He is definitely his father's son. He even sleeps like you,' she said.
There was silence for a moment, the implication in Hermione's words lying heavily between them. Donovan began to wriggle, and Severus gladly let Hermione lift him. She sat him on her knee, facing him.
'Introductions are needed, I think,' she said lightly.
Severus sighed, glad that she had broken the silence. There was so much he wanted to say, but he didn't know how or where to start. He twisted to face them in his seat, eyeing Donovan calmly and exploring his son's face properly for the first time. He could see they shared their colouring, and his eyes were almost identical in shape and colour already, but he had Hermione's full lips. It was hard to say whose nose he would inherit, but Severus was hopeful that would be Hermione's too.
'Severus,' Hermione said playfully, smiling at Donovan as she held out his hand. 'This is Donovan Severus Granger. Your son.'
Severus swallowed and took Donovan's small hand in his, stroking his chubby fingers gently and staring at them in wonder.
'Donovan, this is Daddy,' Hermione whispered into his ear.
'Mama, Dada. Dada... Dada.' Donovan grabbed hold of Severus's finger and tried to pull it to his mouth to suck on. Severus resisted, and Donovan started to giggle loudly as a tug-of-war took place between them. The joy on his face was infectious, and soon, Severus started to laugh too. Gently, he lifted Donovan to him and held him close, inhaling the scent of his soft skin. He planted a small kiss on his cheek.
'Nice to meet you, son,' he said.
Hermione smiled widely as Donovan snuggled into Severus's chest and started to play with the copious buttons on his jacket.
'You will stay for something to eat, won't you? You look like you could use a good meal,' she asked, resting her hand lightly on his arm.
Severus looked up at her, his eyes warm. 'That would be welcome. Thank you,' he said.
***
Hermione went to great lengths to emphasise that dinner was not a romantic meal for two, as it might once have been. She made him peel the potatoes for one thing and persuaded him to assist with getting Donovan ready for bed, even though they had yet to decide how his role as a father would look. He stayed with the boy until he fell asleep and then came back down the stairs with a sense of wary anticipation as to what might come next.
They sat at Hermione's new dining table, and he devoured the chicken and mashed potatoes as if it were his final meal. She smiled at him in satisfaction. She knew he hadn't been looking after himself. Hermione purposefully didn't offer wine. She didn't trust herself to be respectable after more than a glass, particularly because as she watched him, her mind drew fantasies of happy family life, Donovan sleeping and Mummy and Daddy making love on the rug in front of the fire. Her face flushed, and he raised his gaze at just that moment, catching her eye.
He put down his cutlery and pushed away his clean plate. 'That was delicious. Thank you,' he said.
'You looked like you needed it. Luna said you've been doing too much.' Hermione cleared the plates and returned to the table with hot coffee.
'It is an uphill struggle. I'm at a dead end, if I'm being truthful. I just don't know what to do next.' Severus sighed, and Hermione saw the dark circles and worry around his eyes.
'I'll help you,' she said finally. 'But first, we need to talk.'
Severus nodded and followed Hermione as she went through to the living room. When they were sat comfortably, Severus turned to her, sensing that this might be his only chance to say his piece.
'I never forgave myself for letting you go,' he said, his eyes on her hands as they cradled her coffee.
'I had no other choice. You couldn't trust me; you couldn't be honest about your feelings. What else could I do, Severus? I had to move on.'
'I know.' Severus nodded sadly. He looked into Hermione's eyes for a moment. 'I wrote to you. You left the letter behind,' he said quietly.
'Yes. I knew that I would be weak, that anything you said would have me rushing back to you and we'd be back in the same place. I thought I was doing the right thing,' Hermione said.
'Was it?' he asked.
'I keep asking myself that. I wonder if I didn't take some bad advice at the time,' she said ruefully.
'Advice, from whom?' Severus scowled. He could guess exactly who that was.
'Harry, and Alicia. They both said I'd be better off in America, that I'd get over you, move on, more opportunities.'
Severus glowered darkly but said nothing.
'For a time, I was able to pretend you didn't exist,' she laughed lightly. 'And then I found out I was pregnant, and I realised I was just fooling myself and everyone else,' Hermione said sadly. She stopped talking then, afraid she would say too much, too soon.
'You didn't have to keep the child,' Severus mused, staring into his mug as the black coffee swirled around.
'Our child,' Hermione said, a little harshly. 'Would you have preferred that, Severus, that I hadn't had him?' Her voice took on a steely edge, and Severus was quick to placate her.
'He's an amazing child, and you are a wonderful mother, Hermione,' he said. 'I would never have wanted you to destroy something so precious.'
Hermione beamed at Severus then and laughed lightly. 'I might be a good mother now, but in the beginning I had no idea what I was doing. I was a mess. Without Alicia, I don't know what I'd have done,' she said.
'Perhaps you could show me what it was like, one day?' Severus looked at her carefully.
'I'd like that,' she said.
Hermione stood and took their mugs to the kitchen, and when she returned to the living room, Severus was stood, obviously ready to leave.
'I need to visit Minerva and return to the school,' he said smoothly, his composure regained as he assumed a more familiar role.
'Of course.' Hermione felt a pang of sadness. Things were very different between them now, she could sense it. Perhaps there was no going back after all, but at least Donovan had a father at last, and for that she was immensely grateful.
Severus coughed lightly. 'I would like to visit again, if that is acceptable?'
Hermione smiled warmly at him. 'Severus, all I ever wanted was for Donovan to know his father. You are always welcome,' she said.
His dark eyes flashed with something she hadn't seen for quite some time, and she felt her cheeks flush and her pulse quicken. He held her gaze for what seemed like forever, and she felt his powerful energy overwhelm her. Suddenly, he looked away and walked to the Floo, and Hermione felt herself trembling.
'Severus,' she said, her voice loud in her ears. He turned and looked at her blankly, and she stepped up to him and kissed him lightly on the cheek. 'Thank you,' she said.
Severus nodded and stepped wordlessly into the Floo. Hermione raised her hand and waved at him as he disappeared.
***
Severus had Floo'd to his quarters at Hogwarts, and as soon as he arrived he sat, exhausted, in his chair. He had a son. His son, who looked like him, but was a happy child who giggled and said his name already and would be walking soon. He would take him to purchase his first wand, teach him to ride a broom, prepare him so he was advanced of other first years before he even made it through the gates of Hogwarts. He would encourage an interest in Potions, perhaps build him a small lab where they could brew and Donovan could learn the basics. All of these thoughts assailed him as he recalled his son's face vividly, and the feel of him in his arms.
His thoughts of Donovan mixed with those of Hermione. Even dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, the witch beguiled him and surprised him in equal measure. She had welcomed him, not pushed him away as he had feared. She had gladly borne his child and encouraged him to be his father. Her compassion overwhelmed him, but it was more than that. Hermione was able to love unconditionally. Severus Summoned his Firewhisky and drained the remainder of the bottle into a glass. He sipped, and his brow furrowed in thought.
If he played his cards right, he could have a family before the year was out. He had never wanted anything as much in his life.
Story Actions
To follow, favorite, like, and more either log in or create an account.
Leave a Review
Log in to leave a review.
Latest 25 Reviews for Hilltop Cottage
734 Reviews | 7.3/10 Average
This was such a great read, thanks for sharing! I was especially happy to see that Minerva recovered well enough to be able to attend Severus' and Hermione's wedding. It just wouldn't have been the same without her. And Donovan, you just know that boy is going to be such a heartbreaker. Well done!
God what a beautiful beginning. I got chills when I read the first few sentences of this chapter. It reminded me of a 19th century British novel.... something from Hardy. I love your writing. There are naughty bits that are fun to read, but you have a charming prose that just strikes me sometimes. So, I just wanted to tell you how much I enjoy your writing. THANK YOU!
Response from neelix (Author of Hilltop Cottage)
To be compared to Hardy made me smile :) You're very kind,but more than that I'm so happy you like the,story :)
For such inteligent people, in the love department they really had lower grades...so quick to think badly of one another, especialy Severus, but Hermione had her moments, too.
I was so glad when they finally learned and began to trust each other!!!
It was an interesting journey. Thank you.
Great story :) Excellent job with the buildup, realistic angst scenes, and a happy ending. I thoroughly enjoyed it!
WTF!! Why is she letting Alicia plant stupid doubts in her mind? Alicia doesn't even know Severus! And Severus was obviously not too happy with Alicia. For Merlin's sake! What the hell is the matter with Hermione?? When did she become so gullible and wishy washy? This isn't the Hermione who stood up to Malfoy and punched him in the face! She needs to take a pill or something.
And there are a hell of a lot of worse things in the world than a man who stands by you as the mother of his child!!! Get over the Cinderella complex Herms. 
OK! What the Fuck is wrong with Severus now? These aren't weak minded individuals. Snape is a freaking spy who fooled Voldemort for like 20 year, for gods sake! He should be able to see a BSer from a mile away! These two are really getting on my freaking left nerve. Doesn't Mister Ligilimens remember being inside Hermone's head? I don't know how much more of their BS I can stand. Get over yourselves Hermione and Severus! You two are freaking making me want to poke my damned eyes out!!!
Oooooh, I never would have thought! Severus will put her in her place. There's a reason Hermione is his first and only relationship. I'm sure Alicia isn't the first woman to come on to the Potion's Master. 
Too bad for Hermione, though. Betrayed by a friend. Hopefully if Alicia realizes tonight that they are engaged to be married she will back off, for Hermione's sake. I can't imagine she would think she had a chance with Severus if he want's to brush her off. He's a master at putting people in their place.
I'm looking forward to that if it becomes necessary.
I just hope this doesn't interfere with Minerva's cure.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, neelix! 
It was about time these two became a family. I'm so glad Hermione realizes she should not have left him. I will forgive her for breaking Severus' heart because of her youth and immaturity.
Now that she's a grown woman, she hopefully has her priorities straight. She can still be Dr. Granger, but she should keep it in prospective. Now, what about dear Minerva?
Severus wouldn't be the first man to change his ways once a father. If I was Severus though, like you said in the story, he needs to be sure she is committed to making this work and not leaving again when she feels hurt. Obviously she has no idea how she nearly killed him the first time she left him. By the same token, Hermione wouldn't be the first woman to grow up and make a committment to see the rough spots through rather than leave when things got rocky after having a child together. Everything changes when a couple says, you are stuck with me for the rest of our lives. How do you want to do the next 60 years? The hard way or the easy way? Make your choice.
Hopefully, she has seen that if you leave, you just change the problems you have for new ones. Unless there is physical abuse, infedelity or addiction, I think most things can be worked out. The 4 things just mentioned would be deal breakers for me. I hope they are happy together now. That's what stories are for. The happily ever after.
Please!!! It's not my place to say???? For God's sake! Let drag out the pain as long as possible shall we? Intereasting the penny dropped and Severus knew why he hadn't got her letter. Luna had told her but I guess she wasn't listening. I give up! Snapes blaming himself for being a jerk but she isn't blaming herself for anything at all. She didn't do anything wrong.
"What- an- idiot!" Hermione. How long did it take you to realize he didn't know.
I'm going back to Hermione's visit to St. Mungo's. Is she that thick? Did she hear Luna say he didn't get her letter, or at least take the hint that he may not have gotten her letter, the same as Minerva, and that she was wrong? Now she has a chance to do something about it and it doesn't seemed to have crossed her mind.
Poor Severus. I don't remember reading any stories where I liked Severus and thought Hermione was the idiot. Good original plot, just uncomfortable.
She didn't want to give up the parties and her work for Severus, but she has because she had his baby. Now, she's just lonely while giving them up. And it was all unecessry. He jumping to the conclusion that she left him for someone else, and she to he conclusion that he couldn't change.
You never even gave him a second chance to know he was wrong. Was it worth it Hermione, in the scope of things?
Did you think you were going to find someone else who understood you better and loved you more?
You could have been pregnant while with Severus and had a baby together.
There needs to be a smiley for="Self Absorbed!"
I'll think about it????
I had written a novel sized review after the last chapter but I hit one wrong button and lost it. Damn!!! I think I spent an hour and a half going back and researching the story so that I could review all the chapters I'd missed at the same time.
She needed to put chapter 14 in a pensive.
As for this
"Hermione was thrown. Not only had Severus left Spinner’s End to help find a cure for Minerva, he was also back at Hogwarts. After all that time spent in New Mills, avoiding the wizarding world and holing himself up like a hermit, he was back in the public eye in a way she would never have anticipated. She wondered what it all meant." 
I'll tell you what it all means, little sister. It means you jumped the gun when you went off in a huff! You never worried about any one elses pain but your own, including the man you claimed to love.
I am sorry to be so bitter toward her for your sake. I don't blame the story or think the story is lame. I'm just pissed off at Hermione, still have a migrain and should be in bed, because I have to go to work tomorrow, but I can't stop reading your story.
Please forgive me for not spell checking.
Goodbye Severus???? Hermione stared up into his face. It shocked her to realise that she didn’t truly know the man before her. He was more complex and insecure than she had ever imagined, and he wouldn’t change, not ever.
She's his first relationship in his entire life and he is her first love. How does she know he won't change, ever.( 
Know-it- All) I will say, OK he is being a really big prick, a huge bastard and a fuck up. He has really hurt you with this.
However, he already has changed by having his first relationship this late in his life.
She knows she is the first person he has ever trusted like, this doesn't she?
I know she's hurt and doesn't think he really loves her right now, but I dont feel like she was ever really committed to a long term relationship with him. He was handy and helped her get over the war. I guess she was on a war just rebound.
She sure made up her mind rather abruptly!
Only a few momments ago she was declairing her deep love for him. Maybe what she should really say is, "he's just too complex and insecure for her to waste any more of her time on."
Is she sweet little Hermione who just accepts him as he is, loving him so unconditionally. Or, is she just not willing to take the time to work on a relationsip with Severus Snape. She doesn't seemed to have warned him that this, not going places with her, was becoming a deal breaker for her.
Has she ever brought up the fact that it bothers her that he never says he love her?
This is his first relationship in his entire life for a reason. Of course, she is young and after all he isn't her husband, he's just a "boyfriend".
I don't know what she means though, when she says she's shocked and doesn't know this man.
He's been a mean tempered git since the first time she met him when she was 11, and she just now realized he has a tendancy to jump to the worst possible conclusions when he's worreid or up set, and that he has serious anger management problems?
If she truly loves him as much as she says, I think she should have told him what the deal breakers were and given him a chance to prove himself.
He's already pissed off right now, as it is. So she can tell him what needs to happen if he wants to keep her then leave him to stew and think about how much he is willing to do to keep her.
I've been with the same man three times the number of years I was single or 3 times longer than I was alive when we first got together. You don't get to have a lifetime mate unless you give people a chance to work on their issues before you bail for good. I don't think Hermione had ever intended to spend her entire life with Severus.
After 5 years, I think she would have pressed him a little harder to work things out sooner.
Snape is being a real shit. Yes he just falsly accussed her. However, ‘I understand, witch,’ he whispered. ‘I wouldn’t want to stay with me either.’ Is this the hint of the century or what? He can't imagine why she had wanted to be with him in the first place. From chapt. 11-'I missed you, you know. After you “died.”’ Hermione made quotation marks with her free hand and looked into his face. ‘I had no idea you meant so much to me, until I thought you were gone forever.’
She was looking at him with expectation. Severus shrugged.
“I don’t know what you want me to say, Hermione,’ he sighed. ‘Whatever you see in me is misguided. I have nothing to offer.’
This is so sad.
I'm sorry for not keeping up on my reviews for each chapter, but I've had a migraine all weekend. I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about all that I've read so far. I hope they work this out.
about time! I should have been in bed two hours ago but I couldn't leave it on such a sad note.
This isn't a good sign guys.
Poor Severus. She didn't give him much of a choice without him rejecting her outright. But he doesn't have a chance in hell of coming away unscathed. Will it be worth it? I hope Hermione doesn't let me down. She on a war rebound which is worse than a Ronnald Weasely rebound. She says she needs him. Does she know what she's asking from him? I really don't think so. If he's in for a penny, he's in for a pound. Severus Snape does nothing in the middle. I hope Hermione see's that.
I'm very happy she has given Severus a garden. I hope she isn't leading him on. She seems very young here. I know that in a story this long there are usually some bumps in the road to love, but I never look forward to them. The story is sweet and filling me with anticipation of them becoming a couple.
I know Snape will keep her secret. And I think Snape is going to get a friend. Will it turn into a romance or will it bite him in the butt just like he probably expects it to?
I hope Hermione is trying to figure out how to get Snape back as much as he's trying to get her back.
I assume Severus will keep Hermione's secret. It's not Snepelike to gossip. But he'll think about what Minerva has said and will feel duty bound to check on "the girl". I wonder who will contact who first. I am also assuming that Hermione isn't using her wand so that she can't be traced back to this place by the Ministry knowing her wand has been used. When she uses it in Diagon Alley doing little insignificant spells, is just no one paying attention because of where the magic is being cast and mainly only notice it when it's in a Muggle area? Could the Ministry have found Hermione, Harry and Ron the last year of the war by following thier wands? 