Thirteen
Chapter 14 of 50
neelixA/N: Hugs to kizzy, who got this to me on Christmas Eve, just as her hubby came back from Iraq. Love you, honey xx
Hermione's confident determination left her as soon as she walked down Spinnerbottom. She started to shiver and pulled her cardigan around her tightly as she walked slowly around the corner and into Spinner's End. She stared at the row of houses and panicked as she realised she didn't know which house was his. She closed her eyes tightly and brought to mind the photograph of Bertram Mellor, the sad face of Severus peering out of the grimy window behind him. She stared at the front of the houses, bathed in the shimmering orange glow of the streetlights, until she saw it. Her heart lurched a little. She felt that she was impinging on his territory a little bit, but she needed to know what was happening. When all was said and done, relationship or no, Hermione still wanted Severus in her life.
She walked slowly to the door and felt the crackle of magic as she stepped within the boundary of his wards. It was powerful, but she supposed it had to be during the war. Old habits must die hard. She paused before knocking because she was certain he would already be aware of her presence on his doorstep. The type of wards he used would give him both prior warning, and the chance for escape. She knocked lightly on the faded paintwork.
Hermione was wondering if he had already used his Floo to run away from her when she heard the door latch click. Severus opened the door so quickly; she barely had time to catch her breath before he grabbed her by her arm and dragged her into the house forcefully. He slammed the door so loudly that he made the house reverberate with the noise of it.
'What the hell is wrong with you?' Hermione turned on him, rubbing her arm where he had grabbed her.
'Why are you here?' Severus folded his arms across his chest and peered down at her coldly.
Hermione took a step back, biting her lip to stop herself from crying in front of him yet again.
'You didn't come tonight. I was worried,' she said quietly, staring warily at him.
Severus snorted and paced across the room, leaning against the mantle and looking down into the embers of his fire. He was confused by her presence, not just in his house but because he had thought that she had gone for good, and now, suddenly, she was here, accusing him and claiming concern.
His anger found an outlet, and he turned to her, his face contorted in an ugly snarl.
'Worried you would be found out, I should think,' he bit out.
'Found out?' Hermione asked him, puzzled. 'What on earth are you talking about, Severus?'
'Do not say my name,' he murmured slowly, his eyes narrowed. He approached her slowly, pinning her with his gaze, and wave upon wave of anger, mixed with his magic, was overwhelming her.
Hermione's feet felt as if they had taken root in his threadbare carpet, and as she looked up into his face, she was forcefully reminded of the Severus of her dream, cold and unfeeling, telling her that he didn't need her. Her face paled.
'Please, tell me what's wrong, Severus,' she whispered.
His eyes hardened as he stared down at her, and he dipped his head to her ear.
'I know that you left, witch,' he whispered.
Hermione shivered at the malice in his voice, but she felt relief wash over her. The decapitated flowers and his absence tonight, it all made sense, and she felt a huge rush of affection for him.
She hadn't told him she was going to Diagon Alley, and how like him it would be to make assumptions. How bereft he must have felt, after all of her begging and pleading, to think she had abandoned him.
'Who told you?' she asked him lightly, treading carefully. He was still a coiled spring, and she had no idea how to unravel the mess they had found themselves in.
'That is not important. The fact is, I know. I accept it. You can leave now,' he stated flatly, taking a step towards the door.
'What about being friends?' she said softly.
Severus paused, glancing over his shoulder at her. 'Friends do not leave without explaining their absence. Only cowards walk away from what they cannot face,' he whispered.
Sensing that the fight was out of him, Hermione laughed lightly and placed her hand on his shoulder.
'I only went shopping, Severus. I wasn't leaving you.' Hermione rested her head against him and felt a shudder beneath her.
Tentatively, she put her arms around him and turned him to her. His face was pale, his body limp, and he looked down at her with a mix of relief and pain. His eyes explored hers for some sign of dishonesty and found none. And yet, Hermione knew that trust was hard earned where Severus was concerned.
'You can see, if you want to,' she whispered.
Severus didn't hesitate. Staring deeply into her eyes, he whispered 'Legilimens' just as he felt her arms snake about his waist softly. He pushed the feeling away. He would not be distracted from his task. He wanted to believe her, but words were not enough. He needed to know.
Hermione gripped the back of Severus's shirt as she felt him invade her mind. He wasn't being careful in his urgent quest for the truth, and amongst her memories of her transforming herself in the Leaky Cauldron and her thoughts of him when she bought him the book -- bang goes that surprise, she thought ruefully -- he was also privy to the thoughts and dreams she'd had recently, the majority of which involved him.
Desperately, Hermione tried to hide the secret part of her, the part she hadn't even dared to admit consciously to herself, but she couldn't. He was peeling away the layers of her very self as if peeling an onion, and there at the core was the truth of it.
She loved him, and she had done for many years. And now not only was Hermione forced to face it, but Severus knew it too, and she hadn't even said the words out loud.
He withdrew from her mind much more slowly than he had entered it, delicately pulling his thoughts away from hers until they were standing before each other. Hermione felt naked in front of him. Tears filled her eyes, and she averted her gaze, loosening her grip and moving away from him.
'Forgive me, Hermione,' he whispered hoarsely, grabbing hold of her hand and pulling her back to him. He wrapped his arms around her and held her firmly, hugging her close and nuzzling his nose in her hair. It felt smooth, and he opened his eyes to look at it.
'Your hair is different,' his whispered softly.
'Yes,' she answered, still unsure as to where this was going.
Severus tipped her chin upwards and looked down at her, his eyes on her lips. Hermione smiled slightly, relaxing in his arms, and as their lips met briefly, a small groan escaped her. Wrapping her arms around him again, she initiated another kiss, urgent this time, her mouth parting to allow her tongue to probe at his lips purposefully. Severus gasped and opened his mouth, searching for her tongue with his own and growling lightly as they jousted. His hands slid to her hair and slipped through her smooth tresses, and he held her head firmly in place as he started yet another assault on her delicious mouth.
Hermione gasped as she felt him pushing her backwards. Her shoulder blades pressed firmly against the wall, and his left leg shifted until his thigh was pushing against her pubic mound. Hermione's hands explored his chest, rippling, wiry tautness beneath his shirt, and she brushed her palm across his nipples as he planted firm, need driven kisses onto her throbbing pink lips. Finding his buttons, Hermione kissed Severus firmly while her fingers nimbly pushed each tiny circle of plastic through its designated hole. As her hands found his skin, Severus pulled away abruptly and stared down at them as if realising he was half undressed for the first time. He lifted his gaze, and Hermione stared deeply into his eyes, willing him to see the offer she was making him and begging him to just take it, take her, anywhere, everywhere, but please...
'Take me, Severus,' she whispered.
Severus gaped at her for a moment, knowing what she saying and not quite believing his ears. God knew he wanted to make love to her, but she was still a virgin and he was woefully inexperienced. It could all go so disastrously wrong, and they had only just got over one precipice. He didn't feel ready to tip into another.
'Hermione, I...' he stuttered huskily, interrupted by her pale finger on his mouth.
'Let's find a bed,' she said softly, taking his hand in hers and leading him towards the narrow staircase. She paused briefly and nodded at him to go first with a sweet, warm smile, and he shot her a sideways glance, smiling wryly back at her.
The damn witch always got her own bloody way.
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Latest 25 Reviews for Hilltop Cottage
734 Reviews | 7.3/10 Average
This was such a great read, thanks for sharing! I was especially happy to see that Minerva recovered well enough to be able to attend Severus' and Hermione's wedding. It just wouldn't have been the same without her. And Donovan, you just know that boy is going to be such a heartbreaker. Well done!
God what a beautiful beginning. I got chills when I read the first few sentences of this chapter. It reminded me of a 19th century British novel.... something from Hardy. I love your writing. There are naughty bits that are fun to read, but you have a charming prose that just strikes me sometimes. So, I just wanted to tell you how much I enjoy your writing. THANK YOU!
Response from neelix (Author of Hilltop Cottage)
To be compared to Hardy made me smile :) You're very kind,but more than that I'm so happy you like the,story :)
For such inteligent people, in the love department they really had lower grades...so quick to think badly of one another, especialy Severus, but Hermione had her moments, too.
I was so glad when they finally learned and began to trust each other!!!
It was an interesting journey. Thank you.
Great story :) Excellent job with the buildup, realistic angst scenes, and a happy ending. I thoroughly enjoyed it!
WTF!! Why is she letting Alicia plant stupid doubts in her mind? Alicia doesn't even know Severus! And Severus was obviously not too happy with Alicia. For Merlin's sake! What the hell is the matter with Hermione?? When did she become so gullible and wishy washy? This isn't the Hermione who stood up to Malfoy and punched him in the face! She needs to take a pill or something.
And there are a hell of a lot of worse things in the world than a man who stands by you as the mother of his child!!! Get over the Cinderella complex Herms. 
OK! What the Fuck is wrong with Severus now? These aren't weak minded individuals. Snape is a freaking spy who fooled Voldemort for like 20 year, for gods sake! He should be able to see a BSer from a mile away! These two are really getting on my freaking left nerve. Doesn't Mister Ligilimens remember being inside Hermone's head? I don't know how much more of their BS I can stand. Get over yourselves Hermione and Severus! You two are freaking making me want to poke my damned eyes out!!!
Oooooh, I never would have thought! Severus will put her in her place. There's a reason Hermione is his first and only relationship. I'm sure Alicia isn't the first woman to come on to the Potion's Master. 
Too bad for Hermione, though. Betrayed by a friend. Hopefully if Alicia realizes tonight that they are engaged to be married she will back off, for Hermione's sake. I can't imagine she would think she had a chance with Severus if he want's to brush her off. He's a master at putting people in their place.
I'm looking forward to that if it becomes necessary.
I just hope this doesn't interfere with Minerva's cure.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, neelix! 
It was about time these two became a family. I'm so glad Hermione realizes she should not have left him. I will forgive her for breaking Severus' heart because of her youth and immaturity.
Now that she's a grown woman, she hopefully has her priorities straight. She can still be Dr. Granger, but she should keep it in prospective. Now, what about dear Minerva?
Severus wouldn't be the first man to change his ways once a father. If I was Severus though, like you said in the story, he needs to be sure she is committed to making this work and not leaving again when she feels hurt. Obviously she has no idea how she nearly killed him the first time she left him. By the same token, Hermione wouldn't be the first woman to grow up and make a committment to see the rough spots through rather than leave when things got rocky after having a child together. Everything changes when a couple says, you are stuck with me for the rest of our lives. How do you want to do the next 60 years? The hard way or the easy way? Make your choice.
Hopefully, she has seen that if you leave, you just change the problems you have for new ones. Unless there is physical abuse, infedelity or addiction, I think most things can be worked out. The 4 things just mentioned would be deal breakers for me. I hope they are happy together now. That's what stories are for. The happily ever after.
Please!!! It's not my place to say???? For God's sake! Let drag out the pain as long as possible shall we? Intereasting the penny dropped and Severus knew why he hadn't got her letter. Luna had told her but I guess she wasn't listening. I give up! Snapes blaming himself for being a jerk but she isn't blaming herself for anything at all. She didn't do anything wrong.
"What- an- idiot!" Hermione. How long did it take you to realize he didn't know.
I'm going back to Hermione's visit to St. Mungo's. Is she that thick? Did she hear Luna say he didn't get her letter, or at least take the hint that he may not have gotten her letter, the same as Minerva, and that she was wrong? Now she has a chance to do something about it and it doesn't seemed to have crossed her mind.
Poor Severus. I don't remember reading any stories where I liked Severus and thought Hermione was the idiot. Good original plot, just uncomfortable.
She didn't want to give up the parties and her work for Severus, but she has because she had his baby. Now, she's just lonely while giving them up. And it was all unecessry. He jumping to the conclusion that she left him for someone else, and she to he conclusion that he couldn't change.
You never even gave him a second chance to know he was wrong. Was it worth it Hermione, in the scope of things?
Did you think you were going to find someone else who understood you better and loved you more?
You could have been pregnant while with Severus and had a baby together.
There needs to be a smiley for="Self Absorbed!"
I'll think about it????
I had written a novel sized review after the last chapter but I hit one wrong button and lost it. Damn!!! I think I spent an hour and a half going back and researching the story so that I could review all the chapters I'd missed at the same time.
She needed to put chapter 14 in a pensive.
As for this
"Hermione was thrown. Not only had Severus left Spinner’s End to help find a cure for Minerva, he was also back at Hogwarts. After all that time spent in New Mills, avoiding the wizarding world and holing himself up like a hermit, he was back in the public eye in a way she would never have anticipated. She wondered what it all meant." 
I'll tell you what it all means, little sister. It means you jumped the gun when you went off in a huff! You never worried about any one elses pain but your own, including the man you claimed to love.
I am sorry to be so bitter toward her for your sake. I don't blame the story or think the story is lame. I'm just pissed off at Hermione, still have a migrain and should be in bed, because I have to go to work tomorrow, but I can't stop reading your story.
Please forgive me for not spell checking.
Goodbye Severus???? Hermione stared up into his face. It shocked her to realise that she didn’t truly know the man before her. He was more complex and insecure than she had ever imagined, and he wouldn’t change, not ever.
She's his first relationship in his entire life and he is her first love. How does she know he won't change, ever.( 
Know-it- All) I will say, OK he is being a really big prick, a huge bastard and a fuck up. He has really hurt you with this.
However, he already has changed by having his first relationship this late in his life.
She knows she is the first person he has ever trusted like, this doesn't she?
I know she's hurt and doesn't think he really loves her right now, but I dont feel like she was ever really committed to a long term relationship with him. He was handy and helped her get over the war. I guess she was on a war just rebound.
She sure made up her mind rather abruptly!
Only a few momments ago she was declairing her deep love for him. Maybe what she should really say is, "he's just too complex and insecure for her to waste any more of her time on."
Is she sweet little Hermione who just accepts him as he is, loving him so unconditionally. Or, is she just not willing to take the time to work on a relationsip with Severus Snape. She doesn't seemed to have warned him that this, not going places with her, was becoming a deal breaker for her.
Has she ever brought up the fact that it bothers her that he never says he love her?
This is his first relationship in his entire life for a reason. Of course, she is young and after all he isn't her husband, he's just a "boyfriend".
I don't know what she means though, when she says she's shocked and doesn't know this man.
He's been a mean tempered git since the first time she met him when she was 11, and she just now realized he has a tendancy to jump to the worst possible conclusions when he's worreid or up set, and that he has serious anger management problems?
If she truly loves him as much as she says, I think she should have told him what the deal breakers were and given him a chance to prove himself.
He's already pissed off right now, as it is. So she can tell him what needs to happen if he wants to keep her then leave him to stew and think about how much he is willing to do to keep her.
I've been with the same man three times the number of years I was single or 3 times longer than I was alive when we first got together. You don't get to have a lifetime mate unless you give people a chance to work on their issues before you bail for good. I don't think Hermione had ever intended to spend her entire life with Severus.
After 5 years, I think she would have pressed him a little harder to work things out sooner.
Snape is being a real shit. Yes he just falsly accussed her. However, ‘I understand, witch,’ he whispered. ‘I wouldn’t want to stay with me either.’ Is this the hint of the century or what? He can't imagine why she had wanted to be with him in the first place. From chapt. 11-'I missed you, you know. After you “died.”’ Hermione made quotation marks with her free hand and looked into his face. ‘I had no idea you meant so much to me, until I thought you were gone forever.’
She was looking at him with expectation. Severus shrugged.
“I don’t know what you want me to say, Hermione,’ he sighed. ‘Whatever you see in me is misguided. I have nothing to offer.’
This is so sad.
I'm sorry for not keeping up on my reviews for each chapter, but I've had a migraine all weekend. I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about all that I've read so far. I hope they work this out.
about time! I should have been in bed two hours ago but I couldn't leave it on such a sad note.
This isn't a good sign guys.
Poor Severus. She didn't give him much of a choice without him rejecting her outright. But he doesn't have a chance in hell of coming away unscathed. Will it be worth it? I hope Hermione doesn't let me down. She on a war rebound which is worse than a Ronnald Weasely rebound. She says she needs him. Does she know what she's asking from him? I really don't think so. If he's in for a penny, he's in for a pound. Severus Snape does nothing in the middle. I hope Hermione see's that.
I'm very happy she has given Severus a garden. I hope she isn't leading him on. She seems very young here. I know that in a story this long there are usually some bumps in the road to love, but I never look forward to them. The story is sweet and filling me with anticipation of them becoming a couple.
I know Snape will keep her secret. And I think Snape is going to get a friend. Will it turn into a romance or will it bite him in the butt just like he probably expects it to?
I hope Hermione is trying to figure out how to get Snape back as much as he's trying to get her back.
I assume Severus will keep Hermione's secret. It's not Snepelike to gossip. But he'll think about what Minerva has said and will feel duty bound to check on "the girl". I wonder who will contact who first. I am also assuming that Hermione isn't using her wand so that she can't be traced back to this place by the Ministry knowing her wand has been used. When she uses it in Diagon Alley doing little insignificant spells, is just no one paying attention because of where the magic is being cast and mainly only notice it when it's in a Muggle area? Could the Ministry have found Hermione, Harry and Ron the last year of the war by following thier wands? 