Thirty-Four
Chapter 35 of 50
neelixA/N: I apologise for the angst. I promise a happy ending. That's all!
Hermione's hands trembled as she held on to the wine glass, and she cried as Ginny rubbed her back gently. Harry was pacing the living room with Donovan, trying to stop him grizzling. It was emotional chaos, and he looked at Ginny desperately.
'Here, I'll swap you,' she said, almost laughing at the relief on Harry's face as he handed over the snuffling child.
Ginny held Donovan on her hip and started to dance with him, singing a Celestina Warbeck song terribly out of tune. Donovan watched her for a moment and started to giggle, much to Harry's amusement. His wife would be a natural when their child was born, although she didn't even look very pregnant yet.
'How you doing?' he said, gently rubbing Hermione's shoulder.
'Oh, I don't know. I just hoped it would be different, you know. That Severus would love Donovan, and enjoy being a father, and that maybe... maybe...' She started to weep again and pushed the heel of her hand into her eyes to stop the tears. 'I am so stupid.'
'It's not stupid to want the father of your child back, Hermione. Even if it is Snape,' Harry soothed.
'Well, he's made it perfectly clear he doesn't want us, hasn't he?' she sobbed. 'I was going to help him with finding a cure for Minerva, but I don't think I could stand to be in the same room with him now,' she said quietly.
'I think Donovan might be hungry, Hermione,' Ginny said.
'His dinner is in the fridge, I made it earlier when he was sleeping. It just needs a warming charm,' she said.
Ginny left the room with Donovan, and Harry turned to Hermione and took her hand in his.
'Listen, I can't imagine how you're feeling, and you know there's no love lost between Snape and me,' he started.
'Don't you dare tell me 'I told you so,' Harry Potter, or I swear I will hex you into next week,' Hermione threatened him.
'I wouldn't, I promise,' he said gently. 'I was just thinking, though. You could come back to work, take your mind off things, and do your own research into Minerva's illness.'
Hermione nodded and rubbed at her eyes with her sleeve. 'Do you think so?'
'Yes, I really do. There will be people around you; you can get your head back into your books. I know you were coming back next month anyway, but there's nothing to stop you coming back earlier,' he said firmly.
'I'll think about it, Harry. Thank you,' she said gratefully. 'Before I do that, I'm going to need a nanny for Donovan.'
Hermione stared into the kitchen, where Ginny was helping Donovan with his mashed potatoes and seemed to wearing more than Donovan was eating. She laughed suddenly and started to feel a bit brighter. She had good friends, and a wonderful son. What did she need Severus for, anyway?
***
Severus had been too busy before to wallow in self-pity, but now part of him wished he were still in his dungeons, because the gloom would suit his mood very well indeed.
It was coming close to midnight, a week after he had left Hilltop Cottage, and he had hardly slept a wink since then. His feelings for Hermione, and for her new life that didn't include him, were all consuming. He missed her more than he had when she was away. Now that she was closer, he was acutely reminded of what he had missed out on by behaving like a thug and pushing her from him. He ached with need for her, but he had already lost her, that much was clear. She had moved on, with a new man and a baby for good measure.
He took another slug of Firewhisky, safe in the knowledge that it would numb the pain, but that he still wouldn't sleep, because every time he closed his eyes, all he could see was her face.
The hammering on his door did nothing to brighten his mood, and with a growl, he lurched from his chair and wrenched it open.
'What the fuck... What are you doing here?' he hissed.
The last person he wanted to see right now was the Boy Wonder, no doubt coming to fight the witch's battles for her, and yet here he was, looking much the same as always.
'We need to talk,' Harry said firmly, walking inside Severus's quarters uninvited and with air of a man on a mission. He was holding tightly to his wand, tucked beneath his sleeve, and Severus smirked. Perhaps he wasn't quite so confident, after all.
Severus walked back to his chair and lifted his drink, completely ignoring Harry as he took a sip.
Harry walked over to the fire and stared into it, as if gathering his thoughts.
'You devastated her, you know,' he said quietly.
Severus snorted. 'I have no idea what you're babbling about,' he grumbled, taking another slug.
'Yes you do. I'm talking about Hermione... and Donovan.'
Harry turned and looked at Severus, his eyes beseeching but determined. Severus looked away, unable to bear it.
'Donovan? What sort of bloody name is that?' he sneered.
'It means dark little prince, apparently,' Harry said, raising his eyebrow.
'How touching. Why are you here, Potter?' Severus said coldly.
'You are incredible, do you know that? How can you not care about this? For some reason, Hermione still cares about you. I can't get my head around that either,' he said, shaking his head in disbelief.
Severus stared up at him, his brow creasing. 'It's none of my business any more. She's moved on, obviously. I'm sure they're all very happy together,' he muttered, 'and she has no need for me in her life.'
'Now you're the one who's babbling. What are you talking about, Professor?' Harry looked confused.
Severus stood up, albeit a little shakily. 'Look, Potter. I am not here to play guessing games, and I'm not going to crawl back and watch her play happy families with some other man and his spawn,' he hissed. 'Not even for Minerva's sake.'
Harry stared for a moment and then started to laugh slightly hysterically. 'Oh, please don't tell me that you don't actually know?' he sputtered.
He ran his hand through his already spiky hair and started to pace, muttering under his breath. Severus stared at him, wondering what the fuck was going on and still not understanding why he had barged into his rooms at such a late hour.
Harry walked back to him, having obviously come to a decision. 'Professor, I think you should sit down,' he said quietly, a slight tremor in his voice.
'Don't tell me what to do in my own home, Potter,' Severus snipped at him, standing even straighter in defiance.
'Very well,' Harry said, his hands held out, placating. 'Just promise me you'll hear me out, okay?'
Severus stared down at him, his face emotionless. 'Get on with it, Potter,' he said.
'Okay,' Harry said. 'Firstly, Hermione is single. She isn't playing 'happy families' with anyone. Well, except for Donovan,' he said softly.
Severus stood stock still, trying hard not to betray any emotion. He failed miserably, and Harry saw the intake of breath and the spark of hope in his eyes, before the mask was back on.
'The other thing is, she wrote to you from America, and I'm guessing that you didn't get that letter, am I right?' Harry asked.
Severus slumped where he stood. She had written to him? Why? To say what? He shook his head.
'No. I received no letter,' he said.
Harry nodded in understanding. 'What a mess,' he whispered.
Severus's mind was working overtime, and he sat slowly. The witch had written to him, yes. But she had no idea he was back at Hogwarts and wouldn't have thought to send a letter there. He hissed and closed his eyes as the penny dropped. He had been so preoccupied with Minerva and the school, it had been over a year since he had stepped foot in Spinner's End. He hadn't been back to check his mail in all of that time.
He stood quickly, his stomach churning with desperation. 'You know what the letter says, Potter?' It was a rhetorical question. Of course he knew.
Harry nodded sadly. 'It's not my place to say, sir. I'm so sorry,' he said.
'No matter,' Severus sighed. 'I believe it was sent to my home, not Hogwarts. That is why it never reached me. I must go there.'
Harry's eyes brightened. 'Want some company?' he asked hopefully.
Severus stared at him. He didn't despise him as he had before, but he was in no hurry to become bosom buddies with him, at the same time. However... He had brought him news. Hopeful news, that the witch was single, and that she had written to him. And the brat had Hermione's trust. He could well prove to be useful.
'Very well. Come. But touch nothing,' he added as an afterthought. He had already turned to the Floo and didn't see Harry roll his eyes.
'No, sir,' he said ruefully. The man had the ability to make him feel like a first year, even now.
Grabbing a handful of Floo powder, Harry followed Snape to Spinner's End.
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Latest 25 Reviews for Hilltop Cottage
734 Reviews | 7.3/10 Average
This was such a great read, thanks for sharing! I was especially happy to see that Minerva recovered well enough to be able to attend Severus' and Hermione's wedding. It just wouldn't have been the same without her. And Donovan, you just know that boy is going to be such a heartbreaker. Well done!
God what a beautiful beginning. I got chills when I read the first few sentences of this chapter. It reminded me of a 19th century British novel.... something from Hardy. I love your writing. There are naughty bits that are fun to read, but you have a charming prose that just strikes me sometimes. So, I just wanted to tell you how much I enjoy your writing. THANK YOU!
Response from neelix (Author of Hilltop Cottage)
To be compared to Hardy made me smile :) You're very kind,but more than that I'm so happy you like the,story :)
For such inteligent people, in the love department they really had lower grades...so quick to think badly of one another, especialy Severus, but Hermione had her moments, too.
I was so glad when they finally learned and began to trust each other!!!
It was an interesting journey. Thank you.
Great story :) Excellent job with the buildup, realistic angst scenes, and a happy ending. I thoroughly enjoyed it!
WTF!! Why is she letting Alicia plant stupid doubts in her mind? Alicia doesn't even know Severus! And Severus was obviously not too happy with Alicia. For Merlin's sake! What the hell is the matter with Hermione?? When did she become so gullible and wishy washy? This isn't the Hermione who stood up to Malfoy and punched him in the face! She needs to take a pill or something.
And there are a hell of a lot of worse things in the world than a man who stands by you as the mother of his child!!! Get over the Cinderella complex Herms. 
OK! What the Fuck is wrong with Severus now? These aren't weak minded individuals. Snape is a freaking spy who fooled Voldemort for like 20 year, for gods sake! He should be able to see a BSer from a mile away! These two are really getting on my freaking left nerve. Doesn't Mister Ligilimens remember being inside Hermone's head? I don't know how much more of their BS I can stand. Get over yourselves Hermione and Severus! You two are freaking making me want to poke my damned eyes out!!!
Oooooh, I never would have thought! Severus will put her in her place. There's a reason Hermione is his first and only relationship. I'm sure Alicia isn't the first woman to come on to the Potion's Master. 
Too bad for Hermione, though. Betrayed by a friend. Hopefully if Alicia realizes tonight that they are engaged to be married she will back off, for Hermione's sake. I can't imagine she would think she had a chance with Severus if he want's to brush her off. He's a master at putting people in their place.
I'm looking forward to that if it becomes necessary.
I just hope this doesn't interfere with Minerva's cure.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, neelix! 
It was about time these two became a family. I'm so glad Hermione realizes she should not have left him. I will forgive her for breaking Severus' heart because of her youth and immaturity.
Now that she's a grown woman, she hopefully has her priorities straight. She can still be Dr. Granger, but she should keep it in prospective. Now, what about dear Minerva?
Severus wouldn't be the first man to change his ways once a father. If I was Severus though, like you said in the story, he needs to be sure she is committed to making this work and not leaving again when she feels hurt. Obviously she has no idea how she nearly killed him the first time she left him. By the same token, Hermione wouldn't be the first woman to grow up and make a committment to see the rough spots through rather than leave when things got rocky after having a child together. Everything changes when a couple says, you are stuck with me for the rest of our lives. How do you want to do the next 60 years? The hard way or the easy way? Make your choice.
Hopefully, she has seen that if you leave, you just change the problems you have for new ones. Unless there is physical abuse, infedelity or addiction, I think most things can be worked out. The 4 things just mentioned would be deal breakers for me. I hope they are happy together now. That's what stories are for. The happily ever after.
Please!!! It's not my place to say???? For God's sake! Let drag out the pain as long as possible shall we? Intereasting the penny dropped and Severus knew why he hadn't got her letter. Luna had told her but I guess she wasn't listening. I give up! Snapes blaming himself for being a jerk but she isn't blaming herself for anything at all. She didn't do anything wrong.
"What- an- idiot!" Hermione. How long did it take you to realize he didn't know.
I'm going back to Hermione's visit to St. Mungo's. Is she that thick? Did she hear Luna say he didn't get her letter, or at least take the hint that he may not have gotten her letter, the same as Minerva, and that she was wrong? Now she has a chance to do something about it and it doesn't seemed to have crossed her mind.
Poor Severus. I don't remember reading any stories where I liked Severus and thought Hermione was the idiot. Good original plot, just uncomfortable.
She didn't want to give up the parties and her work for Severus, but she has because she had his baby. Now, she's just lonely while giving them up. And it was all unecessry. He jumping to the conclusion that she left him for someone else, and she to he conclusion that he couldn't change.
You never even gave him a second chance to know he was wrong. Was it worth it Hermione, in the scope of things?
Did you think you were going to find someone else who understood you better and loved you more?
You could have been pregnant while with Severus and had a baby together.
There needs to be a smiley for="Self Absorbed!"
I'll think about it????
I had written a novel sized review after the last chapter but I hit one wrong button and lost it. Damn!!! I think I spent an hour and a half going back and researching the story so that I could review all the chapters I'd missed at the same time.
She needed to put chapter 14 in a pensive.
As for this
"Hermione was thrown. Not only had Severus left Spinner’s End to help find a cure for Minerva, he was also back at Hogwarts. After all that time spent in New Mills, avoiding the wizarding world and holing himself up like a hermit, he was back in the public eye in a way she would never have anticipated. She wondered what it all meant." 
I'll tell you what it all means, little sister. It means you jumped the gun when you went off in a huff! You never worried about any one elses pain but your own, including the man you claimed to love.
I am sorry to be so bitter toward her for your sake. I don't blame the story or think the story is lame. I'm just pissed off at Hermione, still have a migrain and should be in bed, because I have to go to work tomorrow, but I can't stop reading your story.
Please forgive me for not spell checking.
Goodbye Severus???? Hermione stared up into his face. It shocked her to realise that she didn’t truly know the man before her. He was more complex and insecure than she had ever imagined, and he wouldn’t change, not ever.
She's his first relationship in his entire life and he is her first love. How does she know he won't change, ever.( 
Know-it- All) I will say, OK he is being a really big prick, a huge bastard and a fuck up. He has really hurt you with this.
However, he already has changed by having his first relationship this late in his life.
She knows she is the first person he has ever trusted like, this doesn't she?
I know she's hurt and doesn't think he really loves her right now, but I dont feel like she was ever really committed to a long term relationship with him. He was handy and helped her get over the war. I guess she was on a war just rebound.
She sure made up her mind rather abruptly!
Only a few momments ago she was declairing her deep love for him. Maybe what she should really say is, "he's just too complex and insecure for her to waste any more of her time on."
Is she sweet little Hermione who just accepts him as he is, loving him so unconditionally. Or, is she just not willing to take the time to work on a relationsip with Severus Snape. She doesn't seemed to have warned him that this, not going places with her, was becoming a deal breaker for her.
Has she ever brought up the fact that it bothers her that he never says he love her?
This is his first relationship in his entire life for a reason. Of course, she is young and after all he isn't her husband, he's just a "boyfriend".
I don't know what she means though, when she says she's shocked and doesn't know this man.
He's been a mean tempered git since the first time she met him when she was 11, and she just now realized he has a tendancy to jump to the worst possible conclusions when he's worreid or up set, and that he has serious anger management problems?
If she truly loves him as much as she says, I think she should have told him what the deal breakers were and given him a chance to prove himself.
He's already pissed off right now, as it is. So she can tell him what needs to happen if he wants to keep her then leave him to stew and think about how much he is willing to do to keep her.
I've been with the same man three times the number of years I was single or 3 times longer than I was alive when we first got together. You don't get to have a lifetime mate unless you give people a chance to work on their issues before you bail for good. I don't think Hermione had ever intended to spend her entire life with Severus.
After 5 years, I think she would have pressed him a little harder to work things out sooner.
Snape is being a real shit. Yes he just falsly accussed her. However, ‘I understand, witch,’ he whispered. ‘I wouldn’t want to stay with me either.’ Is this the hint of the century or what? He can't imagine why she had wanted to be with him in the first place. From chapt. 11-'I missed you, you know. After you “died.”’ Hermione made quotation marks with her free hand and looked into his face. ‘I had no idea you meant so much to me, until I thought you were gone forever.’
She was looking at him with expectation. Severus shrugged.
“I don’t know what you want me to say, Hermione,’ he sighed. ‘Whatever you see in me is misguided. I have nothing to offer.’
This is so sad.
I'm sorry for not keeping up on my reviews for each chapter, but I've had a migraine all weekend. I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about all that I've read so far. I hope they work this out.
about time! I should have been in bed two hours ago but I couldn't leave it on such a sad note.
This isn't a good sign guys.
Poor Severus. She didn't give him much of a choice without him rejecting her outright. But he doesn't have a chance in hell of coming away unscathed. Will it be worth it? I hope Hermione doesn't let me down. She on a war rebound which is worse than a Ronnald Weasely rebound. She says she needs him. Does she know what she's asking from him? I really don't think so. If he's in for a penny, he's in for a pound. Severus Snape does nothing in the middle. I hope Hermione see's that.
I'm very happy she has given Severus a garden. I hope she isn't leading him on. She seems very young here. I know that in a story this long there are usually some bumps in the road to love, but I never look forward to them. The story is sweet and filling me with anticipation of them becoming a couple.
I know Snape will keep her secret. And I think Snape is going to get a friend. Will it turn into a romance or will it bite him in the butt just like he probably expects it to?
I hope Hermione is trying to figure out how to get Snape back as much as he's trying to get her back.
I assume Severus will keep Hermione's secret. It's not Snepelike to gossip. But he'll think about what Minerva has said and will feel duty bound to check on "the girl". I wonder who will contact who first. I am also assuming that Hermione isn't using her wand so that she can't be traced back to this place by the Ministry knowing her wand has been used. When she uses it in Diagon Alley doing little insignificant spells, is just no one paying attention because of where the magic is being cast and mainly only notice it when it's in a Muggle area? Could the Ministry have found Hermione, Harry and Ron the last year of the war by following thier wands? 