Thirty-Five
Chapter 36 of 50
neelixHarry turned his nose up at the smell of dampness that permeated the house. As Snape turned on the lights, it was clear he really hadn’t been here for months, by the layer of dust and the chill in the place. He watched with concern as the professor walked straight to his front door and lifted the pile of post that had accumulated. He was obviously more shaken than he had let on, but even his general appearance told Harry volumes about his depth of feeling for Hermione, and it had taken him totally by surprise. Even during the worst of days during the war, Snape was never dishevelled and unshaven as he was now, and Harry felt some sympathy for him.
‘Here, you might as well make yourself useful,’ Snape said, thrusting a pile of letters into his hands. He turned and sat on the couch, discarding any letters that didn’t bear Hermione’s writing swiftly.
Harry followed suit, shocked at how much post could gather in the course of a year.
‘Professor, some of this post is over a year old. Some of them are bills… what will I do with them?’ he asked.
Snape turned his haggard face to him. ‘Ignore them,’ he said quietly.
Harry reeled slightly at the pain in Snape’s eyes and shivered slightly. Lifting his wand, he lit a fire in the grate and got back to the task in hand. He had sifted through almost the whole pile when a familiar looped ‘S’ caught his eye. He lifted the lavender coloured envelope and took a sharp intake of breath.
‘I have it,’ he said. Snape stopped searching and stared at him, then at the envelope.
‘You wouldn’t have told me about this if it weren’t important, would you Potter?’ Snape curled his lip slightly.
‘Do you really think I want to be sitting in your house at one in the morning for no good reason?’ he asked, smirking slightly.
‘Why did you want to come?’ Snape’s eyes narrowed.
‘Someone has to stop you from doing something stupid when you read this. Let’s get it over with,’ he said, pushing the letter in Snape’s hand.
Severus could feel himself shaking slightly as he slid his finger beneath the envelope. The writing paper rustled slightly as he withdrew it, and he paused before opening in, looking at Potter, who nodded his encouragement. His hands started to tremble as he read the note, taking each line of new information slowly. He started to read the letter again, not quite believing what he was reading, and his eyes blurred with tears he couldn’t stop. Half-read lines seared through to his heart, until he closed his eyes, unable to keep reading any longer. But still, the words were imprinted behind his eyelids.
‘… You are going to be a father, Severus.
…allow your son to know you as he grows up.
I think of you often, Severus.
Hermione’
‘Oh, gods, Hermione,’ he whispered.
Harry stared as the professor crumpled before him with tears coursing down his cheeks, and his illusions of the man disappeared, to be replaced with a new and totally unexpected reality. Hermione had been right about him all along. Slowly, he leant forward and patted Severus on the arm.
‘Don’t worry, sir. It will all work itself out,’ he said quietly. ‘In the meantime, I need some coffee, and so do you. You can’t meet your son for the first time looking like some sort of tramp.’
Harry ambled off to the kitchen and didn’t notice Severus as he scowled after him.
***
An hour later, after three cups of strong black coffee, Harry stifled a yawn and gestured to Severus.
‘Ready to go, or are you staying here?’ he said.
Severus sighed and rubbed at his eyes. For the first time in a week he felt exhausted enough to sleep, and Severus nodded, pushing his tall frame off the sofa.
‘Have you decided what to do?’ Harry asked gently. They had been little conversation between them as they drank their coffee, and Harry could do nothing but watch as Severus read and re-read Hermione’s letter, his face ranging from despair and hope, and then back to despair again.
‘I have no idea, Potter. Truly, I thought she had left me for another and that the child…’ he paused, ‘that the boy…’
‘Your son, sir,’ Harry prompted.
‘Indeed. I thought he was the result of a new liaison. I would never have guessed…’ he said.
‘Wait until you meet him. There’s no denying he’s yours, believe me,’ Harry said, laughing lightly.
Severus snorted. ‘If she’ll ever let me see him, after all that has gone on. I could never understand why she tolerated me then; I have no reason to think it will be any easier now.’
Harry nodded. ‘She can be stubborn, all right. She thinks you knew, that you weren’t interested in having the baby, or anything to do with him. It broke her heart,’ he sighed.
Severus ran his hands over his face. ‘I have never considered myself being a father,’ he said. ‘We talked about it, a long time ago, before… It was always a pipe dream.’
‘It’s not a dream now, and although she won’t admit it, sir, she really needs you, even if it’s just for Donovan.’ Harry smiled at him.
‘Perhaps,’ Severus said. ‘You won’t mention this to Hermione, will you, Potter?’
‘Don’t leave it too long, will you? I just want her to be happy, and the sooner, the better,’ he said.
The two men eyed each other, and some level of understanding passed unspoken between them before they went through the Floo, each to their own destinations.
***
Hermione quite enjoyed washing dishes the Muggle way. Her hands sank into the sudsy water, and she lifted the brush and scrubbed the remains of her Crispy Chilli Chicken off her plate brusquely.
She had spent some of her day interviewing potential nannies for Donovan and had the list down to two candidates. One was the niece of Marcus Flint, and the other was a young French student from Beauxbatons. Both of the girls were young and on a year’s study break, and Hermione had liked them both. It was a hard decision, one she thought she might discuss with Ginny.
Hermione dried her hands on a tea towel and glanced at Donovan. She had sensed his magic growing over the past couple of months and was just waiting for the first manifestation of it. Presently, he was lying on his belly on the rug, pushing a wooden train back and forth, his dark head moving in time with the train and an ‘Shhhh’ sound coming from his pursed lips. Hermione grinned. He was copying her from earlier, when she had got down on her haunches and played with him for a while.
There was a gentle knock at the door, and Donovan raised his head and stared.
‘Mama, Dada?’ he gurgled, a distinct question in his voice.
Hermione chuckled. ‘No, I don’t know who it is, either, sweetie. Let’s look, shall we?’
She scooped the boy up, giving him a noisy kiss on the cheek that made him giggle and squirm away, screwing up his face and showing the two small stubs that passed for his first teeth. Jiggling Donovan on her hip and smiling at him, Hermione opened the door and stared wide-eyed at Severus, standing ashen-faced on the step. He looked dreadful, pale and like he hadn’t eaten for a few days. In his hand he was clutching an opened lavender envelope, which she instantly recognised.
‘Severus?’ she enquired. ‘What is it?’
Severus was staring at Donovan, his eyes roaming his features and drinking them in. Tears filled his eyes and he smiled gently as Donovan held out a chubby hand and aimed straight for his nose.
He shifted his gaze to Hermione, and he began to stammer, holding up the envelope for emphasis.
‘I didn’t know, Hermione… I was living at Hogwarts, didn’t collect my post… only opened this yesterday,’ he gasped, his words tumbling over each other. ‘God, forgive me, but I didn’t know.’
Understanding washed over Hermione in a rush, and she felt her legs trembling as she squeezed Donovan tightly.
‘Oh… Oh, Severus…’ she whispered, and fat tears started to fall down her face.
Severus stepped up to her and wrapped his arm around them both, and slowly, they walked into Hilltop Cottage and closed the door.
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Latest 25 Reviews for Hilltop Cottage
734 Reviews | 7.3/10 Average
This was such a great read, thanks for sharing! I was especially happy to see that Minerva recovered well enough to be able to attend Severus' and Hermione's wedding. It just wouldn't have been the same without her. And Donovan, you just know that boy is going to be such a heartbreaker. Well done!
God what a beautiful beginning. I got chills when I read the first few sentences of this chapter. It reminded me of a 19th century British novel.... something from Hardy. I love your writing. There are naughty bits that are fun to read, but you have a charming prose that just strikes me sometimes. So, I just wanted to tell you how much I enjoy your writing. THANK YOU!
Response from neelix (Author of Hilltop Cottage)
To be compared to Hardy made me smile :) You're very kind,but more than that I'm so happy you like the,story :)
For such inteligent people, in the love department they really had lower grades...so quick to think badly of one another, especialy Severus, but Hermione had her moments, too.
I was so glad when they finally learned and began to trust each other!!!
It was an interesting journey. Thank you.
Great story :) Excellent job with the buildup, realistic angst scenes, and a happy ending. I thoroughly enjoyed it!
WTF!! Why is she letting Alicia plant stupid doubts in her mind? Alicia doesn't even know Severus! And Severus was obviously not too happy with Alicia. For Merlin's sake! What the hell is the matter with Hermione?? When did she become so gullible and wishy washy? This isn't the Hermione who stood up to Malfoy and punched him in the face! She needs to take a pill or something.
And there are a hell of a lot of worse things in the world than a man who stands by you as the mother of his child!!! Get over the Cinderella complex Herms. 
OK! What the Fuck is wrong with Severus now? These aren't weak minded individuals. Snape is a freaking spy who fooled Voldemort for like 20 year, for gods sake! He should be able to see a BSer from a mile away! These two are really getting on my freaking left nerve. Doesn't Mister Ligilimens remember being inside Hermone's head? I don't know how much more of their BS I can stand. Get over yourselves Hermione and Severus! You two are freaking making me want to poke my damned eyes out!!!
Oooooh, I never would have thought! Severus will put her in her place. There's a reason Hermione is his first and only relationship. I'm sure Alicia isn't the first woman to come on to the Potion's Master. 
Too bad for Hermione, though. Betrayed by a friend. Hopefully if Alicia realizes tonight that they are engaged to be married she will back off, for Hermione's sake. I can't imagine she would think she had a chance with Severus if he want's to brush her off. He's a master at putting people in their place.
I'm looking forward to that if it becomes necessary.
I just hope this doesn't interfere with Minerva's cure.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, neelix! 
It was about time these two became a family. I'm so glad Hermione realizes she should not have left him. I will forgive her for breaking Severus' heart because of her youth and immaturity.
Now that she's a grown woman, she hopefully has her priorities straight. She can still be Dr. Granger, but she should keep it in prospective. Now, what about dear Minerva?
Severus wouldn't be the first man to change his ways once a father. If I was Severus though, like you said in the story, he needs to be sure she is committed to making this work and not leaving again when she feels hurt. Obviously she has no idea how she nearly killed him the first time she left him. By the same token, Hermione wouldn't be the first woman to grow up and make a committment to see the rough spots through rather than leave when things got rocky after having a child together. Everything changes when a couple says, you are stuck with me for the rest of our lives. How do you want to do the next 60 years? The hard way or the easy way? Make your choice.
Hopefully, she has seen that if you leave, you just change the problems you have for new ones. Unless there is physical abuse, infedelity or addiction, I think most things can be worked out. The 4 things just mentioned would be deal breakers for me. I hope they are happy together now. That's what stories are for. The happily ever after.
Please!!! It's not my place to say???? For God's sake! Let drag out the pain as long as possible shall we? Intereasting the penny dropped and Severus knew why he hadn't got her letter. Luna had told her but I guess she wasn't listening. I give up! Snapes blaming himself for being a jerk but she isn't blaming herself for anything at all. She didn't do anything wrong.
"What- an- idiot!" Hermione. How long did it take you to realize he didn't know.
I'm going back to Hermione's visit to St. Mungo's. Is she that thick? Did she hear Luna say he didn't get her letter, or at least take the hint that he may not have gotten her letter, the same as Minerva, and that she was wrong? Now she has a chance to do something about it and it doesn't seemed to have crossed her mind.
Poor Severus. I don't remember reading any stories where I liked Severus and thought Hermione was the idiot. Good original plot, just uncomfortable.
She didn't want to give up the parties and her work for Severus, but she has because she had his baby. Now, she's just lonely while giving them up. And it was all unecessry. He jumping to the conclusion that she left him for someone else, and she to he conclusion that he couldn't change.
You never even gave him a second chance to know he was wrong. Was it worth it Hermione, in the scope of things?
Did you think you were going to find someone else who understood you better and loved you more?
You could have been pregnant while with Severus and had a baby together.
There needs to be a smiley for="Self Absorbed!"
I'll think about it????
I had written a novel sized review after the last chapter but I hit one wrong button and lost it. Damn!!! I think I spent an hour and a half going back and researching the story so that I could review all the chapters I'd missed at the same time.
She needed to put chapter 14 in a pensive.
As for this
"Hermione was thrown. Not only had Severus left Spinner’s End to help find a cure for Minerva, he was also back at Hogwarts. After all that time spent in New Mills, avoiding the wizarding world and holing himself up like a hermit, he was back in the public eye in a way she would never have anticipated. She wondered what it all meant." 
I'll tell you what it all means, little sister. It means you jumped the gun when you went off in a huff! You never worried about any one elses pain but your own, including the man you claimed to love.
I am sorry to be so bitter toward her for your sake. I don't blame the story or think the story is lame. I'm just pissed off at Hermione, still have a migrain and should be in bed, because I have to go to work tomorrow, but I can't stop reading your story.
Please forgive me for not spell checking.
Goodbye Severus???? Hermione stared up into his face. It shocked her to realise that she didn’t truly know the man before her. He was more complex and insecure than she had ever imagined, and he wouldn’t change, not ever.
She's his first relationship in his entire life and he is her first love. How does she know he won't change, ever.( 
Know-it- All) I will say, OK he is being a really big prick, a huge bastard and a fuck up. He has really hurt you with this.
However, he already has changed by having his first relationship this late in his life.
She knows she is the first person he has ever trusted like, this doesn't she?
I know she's hurt and doesn't think he really loves her right now, but I dont feel like she was ever really committed to a long term relationship with him. He was handy and helped her get over the war. I guess she was on a war just rebound.
She sure made up her mind rather abruptly!
Only a few momments ago she was declairing her deep love for him. Maybe what she should really say is, "he's just too complex and insecure for her to waste any more of her time on."
Is she sweet little Hermione who just accepts him as he is, loving him so unconditionally. Or, is she just not willing to take the time to work on a relationsip with Severus Snape. She doesn't seemed to have warned him that this, not going places with her, was becoming a deal breaker for her.
Has she ever brought up the fact that it bothers her that he never says he love her?
This is his first relationship in his entire life for a reason. Of course, she is young and after all he isn't her husband, he's just a "boyfriend".
I don't know what she means though, when she says she's shocked and doesn't know this man.
He's been a mean tempered git since the first time she met him when she was 11, and she just now realized he has a tendancy to jump to the worst possible conclusions when he's worreid or up set, and that he has serious anger management problems?
If she truly loves him as much as she says, I think she should have told him what the deal breakers were and given him a chance to prove himself.
He's already pissed off right now, as it is. So she can tell him what needs to happen if he wants to keep her then leave him to stew and think about how much he is willing to do to keep her.
I've been with the same man three times the number of years I was single or 3 times longer than I was alive when we first got together. You don't get to have a lifetime mate unless you give people a chance to work on their issues before you bail for good. I don't think Hermione had ever intended to spend her entire life with Severus.
After 5 years, I think she would have pressed him a little harder to work things out sooner.
Snape is being a real shit. Yes he just falsly accussed her. However, ‘I understand, witch,’ he whispered. ‘I wouldn’t want to stay with me either.’ Is this the hint of the century or what? He can't imagine why she had wanted to be with him in the first place. From chapt. 11-'I missed you, you know. After you “died.”’ Hermione made quotation marks with her free hand and looked into his face. ‘I had no idea you meant so much to me, until I thought you were gone forever.’
She was looking at him with expectation. Severus shrugged.
“I don’t know what you want me to say, Hermione,’ he sighed. ‘Whatever you see in me is misguided. I have nothing to offer.’
This is so sad.
I'm sorry for not keeping up on my reviews for each chapter, but I've had a migraine all weekend. I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about all that I've read so far. I hope they work this out.
about time! I should have been in bed two hours ago but I couldn't leave it on such a sad note.
This isn't a good sign guys.
Poor Severus. She didn't give him much of a choice without him rejecting her outright. But he doesn't have a chance in hell of coming away unscathed. Will it be worth it? I hope Hermione doesn't let me down. She on a war rebound which is worse than a Ronnald Weasely rebound. She says she needs him. Does she know what she's asking from him? I really don't think so. If he's in for a penny, he's in for a pound. Severus Snape does nothing in the middle. I hope Hermione see's that.
I'm very happy she has given Severus a garden. I hope she isn't leading him on. She seems very young here. I know that in a story this long there are usually some bumps in the road to love, but I never look forward to them. The story is sweet and filling me with anticipation of them becoming a couple.
I know Snape will keep her secret. And I think Snape is going to get a friend. Will it turn into a romance or will it bite him in the butt just like he probably expects it to?
I hope Hermione is trying to figure out how to get Snape back as much as he's trying to get her back.
I assume Severus will keep Hermione's secret. It's not Snepelike to gossip. But he'll think about what Minerva has said and will feel duty bound to check on "the girl". I wonder who will contact who first. I am also assuming that Hermione isn't using her wand so that she can't be traced back to this place by the Ministry knowing her wand has been used. When she uses it in Diagon Alley doing little insignificant spells, is just no one paying attention because of where the magic is being cast and mainly only notice it when it's in a Muggle area? Could the Ministry have found Hermione, Harry and Ron the last year of the war by following thier wands? 