Thirty-Three
Chapter 34 of 50
neelixA/N: The chapter you've been waiting for, I think...
Hermione was nervous; she couldn't deny it. Severus's letter had taken her by surprise, not least because it had come directly by Owl. He had obviously decided to forego the usual mail route in his haste to get to the garden, and Hermione could only hope that no-one had seen the large tawny pecking away at her kitchen window.
He had been polite but to the point, and she had responded in kind. Yes, she was home, yes it was convenient and yes, he could come as soon as he was able.
But with no specified time, it left her few options where Donovan was concerned. The last thing she wanted was the child to meet his father for the first time in this way, with awkwardness or an atmosphere. She knew children were sensitive to that sort of thing. She thought of Harry, but he was working, as she would be herself before long. Ideally she would need a live-in nanny for the boy, someone magical who could work within Hermione's rules. Advertising in the Prophet seemed the best idea, much as it stuck in her throat. The only real option right now would be to put him in the play space and hope that Severus couldn't spot the edges of her 'Notice-Me-Not' spell. With some luck, he would go directly to gather his plants, anyway. She didn't like the fact she was hiding his son, but she had no intention of them meeting until Severus brought it up and showed he was favourable.
Tidying up some of Donovan's toys with her wand, she lifted him and put him by his toy box but didn't raise the safety wards just yet. She didn't want him to think he was a prisoner in his own home. Once he was settled, playing with his stacking cups and clapping as he pushed them over, she went to the kitchen and filled the kettle, almost dropping it when she heard a sharp rap on the front door. She didn't need to guess who it was, or what sort of mood he was in. The knock explained it all.
***
Severus stood tensely outside Hilltop Cottage and waited. He could hear her moving around and the low murmur of her voice. He gritted his teeth at the thought she might be discussing him with her husband, perhaps placating him, and impatiently, he rapped again.
The door opened abruptly, and Hermione stared out at him with large, angry eyes. Her mouth twisted into a grimace.
'Hello, Severus,' she said. 'I did hear you the first time.'
Gods, she was still beautiful. Her hair was lighter than he remembered it, probably due to the sunshine in America, and he had been right, she had filled out in all of the right places. He was suddenly full of regrets, wishing he could turn back the clock, stop her leaving him. His body reacted to her closeness, and he felt a twitch beneath his trousers.
She was glaring at him.
'Miss... ah, what do you call yourself now?' he asked, his smooth voice betraying his fluttering stomach.
Hermione scowled. 'It's still Hermione Granger, Severus, or Dr Granger, if you wish to be formal.'
'Miss Granger, then,' he said quickly, trying to hide the relief in his voice. Whomever she was shacked-up with hadn't had the sense to marry her yet.
'I wanted to thank you, for allowing me to continue to use the garden.'
Hermione looked up at him a little nonplussed, nodding slowly. 'You're more than welcome, Professor,' she said.
Severus winced. He deserved that, and he knew it. She had all but told him to call her Hermione, but he couldn't. Not to her face, anyway. It was too personal, too reminiscent of before. Too soon, his inner voice whispered, but he ignored it.
'Would you like tea?' Hermione said, inhaling deeply in an obvious attempt to stay calm.
'That would be acceptable,' he agreed.
Awkwardly, Hermione stood to one side, allowing him to walk through into the living area. He gasped as he stared around the room. It was virtually unrecognisable to the room where they had first kissed, larger and easier to negotiate. He scanned the walls, now decorated with bright blue, striped wallpaper, and then the open-plan layout leading into the expanded kitchen.
'Different,' he said softly, voicing his thoughts.
'I fancied a change,' Hermione said quietly. He turned, not realising she had already made the tea and was handing him a mug. He took it, and their eyes met uncomfortably for a brief moment. How many times had they shared tea in this way? And yet, now something so innocuous seemed loaded with meaning, and they were both aware of it.
Hermione smirked slightly. 'Here we are again,' she said.
Severus acknowledged her need to lighten the mood, and he smiled briefly at her.
'Indeed,' he said. 'May I?' He indicated the couch on the far wall and Hermione nodded. As he sat, she followed suit, and they were silent for a short moment.
'Are you well, Professor? Luna said you have been very busy,' Hermione began.
'Severus,' he said. 'I hope my post as Professor will only be temporary, so I'd prefer not to get used to the title.'
'Of course.' Hermione understood. He was only keeping Minerva's seat warm, after all.
'In answer to your question, I am very busy. I was hoping we could discuss your offer. If it still stands, that is.' Severus sipped his tea. He watched the emotions playing on her face through the rising steam and wanted to shorten the distance between them suddenly. Instead, he sat straight, awaiting her response.
'Of course. Poor Minerva. I read through the hospital notes briefly, but apart from her physical improvements thanks to your potion, there's been no change at all, has there?' she said.
'None,' Severus said, shaking his head. 'Luna is of the opinion it is an immune disorder, but the Healers know little about such things. They rarely affect the wizarding world, you see.'
Hermione nodded. 'A bit like HIV, or AIDS, is it? How on earth could she have contracted that?'
'As I said, we don't know enough about those illnesses to make a proper diagnosis.'
'Perhaps we should arrange a time to go over what you have so far?' Hermione looked at Severus slowly.
Severus nodded. 'Owl me when it would be convenient. I understand you have... family, to consider,' he said blankly.
Hermione bristled. 'I have family?' she snapped.
'According to Sam Parker you do,' Severus said, frowning. He hadn't expected that reaction to his words, and up until that point it had been going quite well, considering.
Hermione stood quickly and wrenched his half-empty mug from his hand. 'You had better gather your ingredients, Professor, before it starts to rain.'
Severus recognised her dismissal, but felt completely confused. Standing, he walked to the back door, followed by a shaking Hermione.
'Hermione,' he said, pausing. 'I apologise if I spoke out of turn. Your family is none of my business, of course,' he said quietly.
Hermione stumbled at his words, and her hands jerked forwards. The mugs fell, smashing loudly on the floor. Her concentration lost, Severus stared at her, and then behind her, as a shimmer of magic appeared by the side of the room.
As if in slow motion, Hermione said 'Oh, my God,' and turned, following Severus's gaze. They both stared as her safety wards dropped, revealing the play space, and a now screaming child.
Hermione's mothering instinct snapped into action almost instantly, and she walked over and gathered Donovan in her arms, cradling him and murmuring softly.
Severus could only stare. She had a child! That was what Sam Parker meant when he said family. She kept her back to him as she soothed the baby, and instantly everything fell into place. She hadn't wanted him to know of her child, which was clear. Too many questions, and answers she wasn't willing to give, most likely. Jealousy seared through him at the thought of her bearing a child with another man, and he suddenly felt closed in by the scene before him.
Without a word, he turned and walked out into the garden, closing the door firmly behind him and taking a huge gulp of air. His stomach lurched, and he turned and vomited into the ditch beside the house. Trembling, he walked to the garden plots, gathered all he needed and Apparated away so quickly that he didn't see the crying witch running towards him, calling him to come back.
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Latest 25 Reviews for Hilltop Cottage
734 Reviews | 7.3/10 Average
This was such a great read, thanks for sharing! I was especially happy to see that Minerva recovered well enough to be able to attend Severus' and Hermione's wedding. It just wouldn't have been the same without her. And Donovan, you just know that boy is going to be such a heartbreaker. Well done!
God what a beautiful beginning. I got chills when I read the first few sentences of this chapter. It reminded me of a 19th century British novel.... something from Hardy. I love your writing. There are naughty bits that are fun to read, but you have a charming prose that just strikes me sometimes. So, I just wanted to tell you how much I enjoy your writing. THANK YOU!
Response from neelix (Author of Hilltop Cottage)
To be compared to Hardy made me smile :) You're very kind,but more than that I'm so happy you like the,story :)
For such inteligent people, in the love department they really had lower grades...so quick to think badly of one another, especialy Severus, but Hermione had her moments, too.
I was so glad when they finally learned and began to trust each other!!!
It was an interesting journey. Thank you.
Great story :) Excellent job with the buildup, realistic angst scenes, and a happy ending. I thoroughly enjoyed it!
WTF!! Why is she letting Alicia plant stupid doubts in her mind? Alicia doesn't even know Severus! And Severus was obviously not too happy with Alicia. For Merlin's sake! What the hell is the matter with Hermione?? When did she become so gullible and wishy washy? This isn't the Hermione who stood up to Malfoy and punched him in the face! She needs to take a pill or something.
And there are a hell of a lot of worse things in the world than a man who stands by you as the mother of his child!!! Get over the Cinderella complex Herms. 
OK! What the Fuck is wrong with Severus now? These aren't weak minded individuals. Snape is a freaking spy who fooled Voldemort for like 20 year, for gods sake! He should be able to see a BSer from a mile away! These two are really getting on my freaking left nerve. Doesn't Mister Ligilimens remember being inside Hermone's head? I don't know how much more of their BS I can stand. Get over yourselves Hermione and Severus! You two are freaking making me want to poke my damned eyes out!!!
Oooooh, I never would have thought! Severus will put her in her place. There's a reason Hermione is his first and only relationship. I'm sure Alicia isn't the first woman to come on to the Potion's Master. 
Too bad for Hermione, though. Betrayed by a friend. Hopefully if Alicia realizes tonight that they are engaged to be married she will back off, for Hermione's sake. I can't imagine she would think she had a chance with Severus if he want's to brush her off. He's a master at putting people in their place.
I'm looking forward to that if it becomes necessary.
I just hope this doesn't interfere with Minerva's cure.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, neelix! 
It was about time these two became a family. I'm so glad Hermione realizes she should not have left him. I will forgive her for breaking Severus' heart because of her youth and immaturity.
Now that she's a grown woman, she hopefully has her priorities straight. She can still be Dr. Granger, but she should keep it in prospective. Now, what about dear Minerva?
Severus wouldn't be the first man to change his ways once a father. If I was Severus though, like you said in the story, he needs to be sure she is committed to making this work and not leaving again when she feels hurt. Obviously she has no idea how she nearly killed him the first time she left him. By the same token, Hermione wouldn't be the first woman to grow up and make a committment to see the rough spots through rather than leave when things got rocky after having a child together. Everything changes when a couple says, you are stuck with me for the rest of our lives. How do you want to do the next 60 years? The hard way or the easy way? Make your choice.
Hopefully, she has seen that if you leave, you just change the problems you have for new ones. Unless there is physical abuse, infedelity or addiction, I think most things can be worked out. The 4 things just mentioned would be deal breakers for me. I hope they are happy together now. That's what stories are for. The happily ever after.
Please!!! It's not my place to say???? For God's sake! Let drag out the pain as long as possible shall we? Intereasting the penny dropped and Severus knew why he hadn't got her letter. Luna had told her but I guess she wasn't listening. I give up! Snapes blaming himself for being a jerk but she isn't blaming herself for anything at all. She didn't do anything wrong.
"What- an- idiot!" Hermione. How long did it take you to realize he didn't know.
I'm going back to Hermione's visit to St. Mungo's. Is she that thick? Did she hear Luna say he didn't get her letter, or at least take the hint that he may not have gotten her letter, the same as Minerva, and that she was wrong? Now she has a chance to do something about it and it doesn't seemed to have crossed her mind.
Poor Severus. I don't remember reading any stories where I liked Severus and thought Hermione was the idiot. Good original plot, just uncomfortable.
She didn't want to give up the parties and her work for Severus, but she has because she had his baby. Now, she's just lonely while giving them up. And it was all unecessry. He jumping to the conclusion that she left him for someone else, and she to he conclusion that he couldn't change.
You never even gave him a second chance to know he was wrong. Was it worth it Hermione, in the scope of things?
Did you think you were going to find someone else who understood you better and loved you more?
You could have been pregnant while with Severus and had a baby together.
There needs to be a smiley for="Self Absorbed!"
I'll think about it????
I had written a novel sized review after the last chapter but I hit one wrong button and lost it. Damn!!! I think I spent an hour and a half going back and researching the story so that I could review all the chapters I'd missed at the same time.
She needed to put chapter 14 in a pensive.
As for this
"Hermione was thrown. Not only had Severus left Spinner’s End to help find a cure for Minerva, he was also back at Hogwarts. After all that time spent in New Mills, avoiding the wizarding world and holing himself up like a hermit, he was back in the public eye in a way she would never have anticipated. She wondered what it all meant." 
I'll tell you what it all means, little sister. It means you jumped the gun when you went off in a huff! You never worried about any one elses pain but your own, including the man you claimed to love.
I am sorry to be so bitter toward her for your sake. I don't blame the story or think the story is lame. I'm just pissed off at Hermione, still have a migrain and should be in bed, because I have to go to work tomorrow, but I can't stop reading your story.
Please forgive me for not spell checking.
Goodbye Severus???? Hermione stared up into his face. It shocked her to realise that she didn’t truly know the man before her. He was more complex and insecure than she had ever imagined, and he wouldn’t change, not ever.
She's his first relationship in his entire life and he is her first love. How does she know he won't change, ever.( 
Know-it- All) I will say, OK he is being a really big prick, a huge bastard and a fuck up. He has really hurt you with this.
However, he already has changed by having his first relationship this late in his life.
She knows she is the first person he has ever trusted like, this doesn't she?
I know she's hurt and doesn't think he really loves her right now, but I dont feel like she was ever really committed to a long term relationship with him. He was handy and helped her get over the war. I guess she was on a war just rebound.
She sure made up her mind rather abruptly!
Only a few momments ago she was declairing her deep love for him. Maybe what she should really say is, "he's just too complex and insecure for her to waste any more of her time on."
Is she sweet little Hermione who just accepts him as he is, loving him so unconditionally. Or, is she just not willing to take the time to work on a relationsip with Severus Snape. She doesn't seemed to have warned him that this, not going places with her, was becoming a deal breaker for her.
Has she ever brought up the fact that it bothers her that he never says he love her?
This is his first relationship in his entire life for a reason. Of course, she is young and after all he isn't her husband, he's just a "boyfriend".
I don't know what she means though, when she says she's shocked and doesn't know this man.
He's been a mean tempered git since the first time she met him when she was 11, and she just now realized he has a tendancy to jump to the worst possible conclusions when he's worreid or up set, and that he has serious anger management problems?
If she truly loves him as much as she says, I think she should have told him what the deal breakers were and given him a chance to prove himself.
He's already pissed off right now, as it is. So she can tell him what needs to happen if he wants to keep her then leave him to stew and think about how much he is willing to do to keep her.
I've been with the same man three times the number of years I was single or 3 times longer than I was alive when we first got together. You don't get to have a lifetime mate unless you give people a chance to work on their issues before you bail for good. I don't think Hermione had ever intended to spend her entire life with Severus.
After 5 years, I think she would have pressed him a little harder to work things out sooner.
Snape is being a real shit. Yes he just falsly accussed her. However, ‘I understand, witch,’ he whispered. ‘I wouldn’t want to stay with me either.’ Is this the hint of the century or what? He can't imagine why she had wanted to be with him in the first place. From chapt. 11-'I missed you, you know. After you “died.”’ Hermione made quotation marks with her free hand and looked into his face. ‘I had no idea you meant so much to me, until I thought you were gone forever.’
She was looking at him with expectation. Severus shrugged.
“I don’t know what you want me to say, Hermione,’ he sighed. ‘Whatever you see in me is misguided. I have nothing to offer.’
This is so sad.
I'm sorry for not keeping up on my reviews for each chapter, but I've had a migraine all weekend. I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about all that I've read so far. I hope they work this out.
about time! I should have been in bed two hours ago but I couldn't leave it on such a sad note.
This isn't a good sign guys.
Poor Severus. She didn't give him much of a choice without him rejecting her outright. But he doesn't have a chance in hell of coming away unscathed. Will it be worth it? I hope Hermione doesn't let me down. She on a war rebound which is worse than a Ronnald Weasely rebound. She says she needs him. Does she know what she's asking from him? I really don't think so. If he's in for a penny, he's in for a pound. Severus Snape does nothing in the middle. I hope Hermione see's that.
I'm very happy she has given Severus a garden. I hope she isn't leading him on. She seems very young here. I know that in a story this long there are usually some bumps in the road to love, but I never look forward to them. The story is sweet and filling me with anticipation of them becoming a couple.
I know Snape will keep her secret. And I think Snape is going to get a friend. Will it turn into a romance or will it bite him in the butt just like he probably expects it to?
I hope Hermione is trying to figure out how to get Snape back as much as he's trying to get her back.
I assume Severus will keep Hermione's secret. It's not Snepelike to gossip. But he'll think about what Minerva has said and will feel duty bound to check on "the girl". I wonder who will contact who first. I am also assuming that Hermione isn't using her wand so that she can't be traced back to this place by the Ministry knowing her wand has been used. When she uses it in Diagon Alley doing little insignificant spells, is just no one paying attention because of where the magic is being cast and mainly only notice it when it's in a Muggle area? Could the Ministry have found Hermione, Harry and Ron the last year of the war by following thier wands? 