Twenty-Four
Chapter 25 of 50
neelixAs Hermione stared out of the window of the Boeing 747, her thoughts were not of Severus Snape, but of Harry Potter. He had surpassed himself in the past week, and she really didn’t know what she would have done without him. Ruefully, she realised there was a reason he was the Ministry’s Chief Administrator, the main being his ability to organise people into action at short notice. The fact that he would do anything to put space between her and Severus did cross her mind, but that was what she wanted too, so it was a win-win situation. She had told Harry what she needed to do, and he had done everything. All that was left for Hermione to do was to pack and rent the house out.
Part of the reason she had wanted to travel the Muggle way was because it gave her time to think and consider what she had done. As the clouds floated by, Hermione stretched a little in her seat and closed her eyes for a moment. Leaving New Mills had been wrenching, but then it wasn’t the first time she had disappeared quickly. That was how she had ended up at Hilltop Cottage in the first place, after all. She was fortunate that she had options other than returning to the bosom of her friends, because she couldn’t stand Harry’s ‘I told you so,’ smug look for very long.
When Alicia Maines first muted the idea of Hermione’s visit, it had been for purely academic reasons, but over the past few weeks, during their encounters at dinners and events, the buds of a friendship had started to grow. She was unlike anyone Hermione had ever met. Bubbly, and as intelligent as she was herself, she also had a wicked sense of humour and Hermione had found herself being drawn to her more and more. The excitement she felt about her trip was almost overshadowing the uncomfortable ache of missing Severus, and she hoped that New York would provide her with enough distraction that she would be completely over him before long.
The plane began its descent, and Hermione looked out of the window to watch the city below her as the buildings came closer. She felt a sudden pang as she thought about starting a completely new life without Severus in it. She had hoped to persuade him to come with her, but she knew there would be no moving him, even before the argument. No, it was definitely better this way. Even Harry had said so.
Thinking back over the past week, Hermione couldn’t quite believe that she’d poured her heart out to Harry, of all people. There was no one else she could talk to really, not to mention he was the one who had found her in the store cupboard sobbing. It had only taken a couple of words of concern from him, and the events of the past month or so had come tumbling from her. Harry had listened without interrupting, and then proceeded to tell her that he had known all along that Severus would hold her back, and hadn’t he said that at the start? It stuck in her throat that he had been right, in the end. Severus wasn’t right for her, but she had been too close to him to see it.
The plane landed smoothly, much to Hermione’s relief, and before long she was pushing her luggage-laden trolley through to the exit, searching the gathered crowd for Alicia. It didn’t take her long to spot her, for the other witch was tall and willowy and towered over most people. Hermione could see her long, blonde hair shimmering as her head bobbed about looking for her, and as their eyes met, Alicia’s face broke out into a huge grin of white sparkling teeth.
‘Hey!’ she shouted, waving wildly and pushing her way through the crowds to get to her.
‘Hi,’ Hermione said, slightly breathless from pushing the trolley.
They paused as they looked at each other for a brief moment, then Alicia gave Hermione a huge hug, almost lifting her off her feet. They laughed, and Alicia linked her arm through Hermione’s as they walked out of the airport. Next to her, Hermione felt a little dowdy, with her bland brown hair and ordinariness, but Alicia was so warm and genuine that it didn’t matter. She had arrived, and she had a friend who was obviously pleased to see her.
It was a good start.
***
Depressed wasn’t a word that Severus would have used to describe his mood. Angry, maybe, or seriously pissed off -- those were words he would use. He spent days lolling around in bed being angry. He spent long nights lying awake and being pissed off. He chose not to eat, or to shower. What was the point, after all?
He tried to distract his traitorous mind from thinking about Granger. She was in the past. She had come, they had fucked a bit, and then she’d gone. That was, as they say, that. It was nothing, a mere sideshow in his life. Perhaps one day he would look back and treasure the memory, but at the moment he was too busy being irate with her.
Fortunately, his feelings for Lily were similar to those he felt for Hermione right now, so he found it quite simple to put her in a box of her own and close the lid. Sometimes, though, when he was exhausted from insomnia and his emotions had snuck their way to the surface, he would remember her skin, the scent of her sex, and how it felt to be inside her.
At those times, Severus would hide under his bedclothes and pretend his tears were a natural part of being pissed off and overly tired. He would tell himself that tomorrow things would be different. He would get up and shower, and brew some potions, and perhaps take a trip to Diagon Alley. He was overdue a trip to the bank, and he needed to visit his suppliers. That’s what he would do tomorrow.
Tomorrow came and went because he just didn’t know where to start. Another week went by, until he couldn’t even stand his own company anymore and dragged himself reluctantly into the bathroom. He washed his hair twice, having watched with disgust as the dirty suds disappeared down the drain. When he’d finished, he took his time to shave off over a month of beard growth and was shocked by the sight of his gaunt face in the mirror. It was this that finally kicked Severus up the arse.
No woman was going to crush him. Not this time, and never again.
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Latest 25 Reviews for Hilltop Cottage
734 Reviews | 7.3/10 Average
This was such a great read, thanks for sharing! I was especially happy to see that Minerva recovered well enough to be able to attend Severus' and Hermione's wedding. It just wouldn't have been the same without her. And Donovan, you just know that boy is going to be such a heartbreaker. Well done!
God what a beautiful beginning. I got chills when I read the first few sentences of this chapter. It reminded me of a 19th century British novel.... something from Hardy. I love your writing. There are naughty bits that are fun to read, but you have a charming prose that just strikes me sometimes. So, I just wanted to tell you how much I enjoy your writing. THANK YOU!
Response from neelix (Author of Hilltop Cottage)
To be compared to Hardy made me smile :) You're very kind,but more than that I'm so happy you like the,story :)
For such inteligent people, in the love department they really had lower grades...so quick to think badly of one another, especialy Severus, but Hermione had her moments, too.
I was so glad when they finally learned and began to trust each other!!!
It was an interesting journey. Thank you.
Great story :) Excellent job with the buildup, realistic angst scenes, and a happy ending. I thoroughly enjoyed it!
WTF!! Why is she letting Alicia plant stupid doubts in her mind? Alicia doesn't even know Severus! And Severus was obviously not too happy with Alicia. For Merlin's sake! What the hell is the matter with Hermione?? When did she become so gullible and wishy washy? This isn't the Hermione who stood up to Malfoy and punched him in the face! She needs to take a pill or something.
And there are a hell of a lot of worse things in the world than a man who stands by you as the mother of his child!!! Get over the Cinderella complex Herms. 
OK! What the Fuck is wrong with Severus now? These aren't weak minded individuals. Snape is a freaking spy who fooled Voldemort for like 20 year, for gods sake! He should be able to see a BSer from a mile away! These two are really getting on my freaking left nerve. Doesn't Mister Ligilimens remember being inside Hermone's head? I don't know how much more of their BS I can stand. Get over yourselves Hermione and Severus! You two are freaking making me want to poke my damned eyes out!!!
Oooooh, I never would have thought! Severus will put her in her place. There's a reason Hermione is his first and only relationship. I'm sure Alicia isn't the first woman to come on to the Potion's Master. 
Too bad for Hermione, though. Betrayed by a friend. Hopefully if Alicia realizes tonight that they are engaged to be married she will back off, for Hermione's sake. I can't imagine she would think she had a chance with Severus if he want's to brush her off. He's a master at putting people in their place.
I'm looking forward to that if it becomes necessary.
I just hope this doesn't interfere with Minerva's cure.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, neelix! 
It was about time these two became a family. I'm so glad Hermione realizes she should not have left him. I will forgive her for breaking Severus' heart because of her youth and immaturity.
Now that she's a grown woman, she hopefully has her priorities straight. She can still be Dr. Granger, but she should keep it in prospective. Now, what about dear Minerva?
Severus wouldn't be the first man to change his ways once a father. If I was Severus though, like you said in the story, he needs to be sure she is committed to making this work and not leaving again when she feels hurt. Obviously she has no idea how she nearly killed him the first time she left him. By the same token, Hermione wouldn't be the first woman to grow up and make a committment to see the rough spots through rather than leave when things got rocky after having a child together. Everything changes when a couple says, you are stuck with me for the rest of our lives. How do you want to do the next 60 years? The hard way or the easy way? Make your choice.
Hopefully, she has seen that if you leave, you just change the problems you have for new ones. Unless there is physical abuse, infedelity or addiction, I think most things can be worked out. The 4 things just mentioned would be deal breakers for me. I hope they are happy together now. That's what stories are for. The happily ever after.
Please!!! It's not my place to say???? For God's sake! Let drag out the pain as long as possible shall we? Intereasting the penny dropped and Severus knew why he hadn't got her letter. Luna had told her but I guess she wasn't listening. I give up! Snapes blaming himself for being a jerk but she isn't blaming herself for anything at all. She didn't do anything wrong.
"What- an- idiot!" Hermione. How long did it take you to realize he didn't know.
I'm going back to Hermione's visit to St. Mungo's. Is she that thick? Did she hear Luna say he didn't get her letter, or at least take the hint that he may not have gotten her letter, the same as Minerva, and that she was wrong? Now she has a chance to do something about it and it doesn't seemed to have crossed her mind.
Poor Severus. I don't remember reading any stories where I liked Severus and thought Hermione was the idiot. Good original plot, just uncomfortable.
She didn't want to give up the parties and her work for Severus, but she has because she had his baby. Now, she's just lonely while giving them up. And it was all unecessry. He jumping to the conclusion that she left him for someone else, and she to he conclusion that he couldn't change.
You never even gave him a second chance to know he was wrong. Was it worth it Hermione, in the scope of things?
Did you think you were going to find someone else who understood you better and loved you more?
You could have been pregnant while with Severus and had a baby together.
There needs to be a smiley for="Self Absorbed!"
I'll think about it????
I had written a novel sized review after the last chapter but I hit one wrong button and lost it. Damn!!! I think I spent an hour and a half going back and researching the story so that I could review all the chapters I'd missed at the same time.
She needed to put chapter 14 in a pensive.
As for this
"Hermione was thrown. Not only had Severus left Spinner’s End to help find a cure for Minerva, he was also back at Hogwarts. After all that time spent in New Mills, avoiding the wizarding world and holing himself up like a hermit, he was back in the public eye in a way she would never have anticipated. She wondered what it all meant." 
I'll tell you what it all means, little sister. It means you jumped the gun when you went off in a huff! You never worried about any one elses pain but your own, including the man you claimed to love.
I am sorry to be so bitter toward her for your sake. I don't blame the story or think the story is lame. I'm just pissed off at Hermione, still have a migrain and should be in bed, because I have to go to work tomorrow, but I can't stop reading your story.
Please forgive me for not spell checking.
Goodbye Severus???? Hermione stared up into his face. It shocked her to realise that she didn’t truly know the man before her. He was more complex and insecure than she had ever imagined, and he wouldn’t change, not ever.
She's his first relationship in his entire life and he is her first love. How does she know he won't change, ever.( 
Know-it- All) I will say, OK he is being a really big prick, a huge bastard and a fuck up. He has really hurt you with this.
However, he already has changed by having his first relationship this late in his life.
She knows she is the first person he has ever trusted like, this doesn't she?
I know she's hurt and doesn't think he really loves her right now, but I dont feel like she was ever really committed to a long term relationship with him. He was handy and helped her get over the war. I guess she was on a war just rebound.
She sure made up her mind rather abruptly!
Only a few momments ago she was declairing her deep love for him. Maybe what she should really say is, "he's just too complex and insecure for her to waste any more of her time on."
Is she sweet little Hermione who just accepts him as he is, loving him so unconditionally. Or, is she just not willing to take the time to work on a relationsip with Severus Snape. She doesn't seemed to have warned him that this, not going places with her, was becoming a deal breaker for her.
Has she ever brought up the fact that it bothers her that he never says he love her?
This is his first relationship in his entire life for a reason. Of course, she is young and after all he isn't her husband, he's just a "boyfriend".
I don't know what she means though, when she says she's shocked and doesn't know this man.
He's been a mean tempered git since the first time she met him when she was 11, and she just now realized he has a tendancy to jump to the worst possible conclusions when he's worreid or up set, and that he has serious anger management problems?
If she truly loves him as much as she says, I think she should have told him what the deal breakers were and given him a chance to prove himself.
He's already pissed off right now, as it is. So she can tell him what needs to happen if he wants to keep her then leave him to stew and think about how much he is willing to do to keep her.
I've been with the same man three times the number of years I was single or 3 times longer than I was alive when we first got together. You don't get to have a lifetime mate unless you give people a chance to work on their issues before you bail for good. I don't think Hermione had ever intended to spend her entire life with Severus.
After 5 years, I think she would have pressed him a little harder to work things out sooner.
Snape is being a real shit. Yes he just falsly accussed her. However, ‘I understand, witch,’ he whispered. ‘I wouldn’t want to stay with me either.’ Is this the hint of the century or what? He can't imagine why she had wanted to be with him in the first place. From chapt. 11-'I missed you, you know. After you “died.”’ Hermione made quotation marks with her free hand and looked into his face. ‘I had no idea you meant so much to me, until I thought you were gone forever.’
She was looking at him with expectation. Severus shrugged.
“I don’t know what you want me to say, Hermione,’ he sighed. ‘Whatever you see in me is misguided. I have nothing to offer.’
This is so sad.
I'm sorry for not keeping up on my reviews for each chapter, but I've had a migraine all weekend. I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about all that I've read so far. I hope they work this out.
about time! I should have been in bed two hours ago but I couldn't leave it on such a sad note.
This isn't a good sign guys.
Poor Severus. She didn't give him much of a choice without him rejecting her outright. But he doesn't have a chance in hell of coming away unscathed. Will it be worth it? I hope Hermione doesn't let me down. She on a war rebound which is worse than a Ronnald Weasely rebound. She says she needs him. Does she know what she's asking from him? I really don't think so. If he's in for a penny, he's in for a pound. Severus Snape does nothing in the middle. I hope Hermione see's that.
I'm very happy she has given Severus a garden. I hope she isn't leading him on. She seems very young here. I know that in a story this long there are usually some bumps in the road to love, but I never look forward to them. The story is sweet and filling me with anticipation of them becoming a couple.
I know Snape will keep her secret. And I think Snape is going to get a friend. Will it turn into a romance or will it bite him in the butt just like he probably expects it to?
I hope Hermione is trying to figure out how to get Snape back as much as he's trying to get her back.
I assume Severus will keep Hermione's secret. It's not Snepelike to gossip. But he'll think about what Minerva has said and will feel duty bound to check on "the girl". I wonder who will contact who first. I am also assuming that Hermione isn't using her wand so that she can't be traced back to this place by the Ministry knowing her wand has been used. When she uses it in Diagon Alley doing little insignificant spells, is just no one paying attention because of where the magic is being cast and mainly only notice it when it's in a Muggle area? Could the Ministry have found Hermione, Harry and Ron the last year of the war by following thier wands? 