Four
Chapter 5 of 50
neelixHermione's walk back to Hilltop Cottage had been uneventful as far as she was aware, but her thoughts had not been on her surroundings or on getting from A to B. In fact, she felt glad that she had been able to subconsciously place one foot in front of the other and find her way back without having to concentrate on her route. Her thoughts were a jumbled mess after seeing Severus Snape.
The man had been a greater influence on her than she had ever admitted to anyone else. Despite his dual role, his much-maligned mistreatment of his students, and his ability to make Hermione feel smaller than she already felt, he had been the one constant, unmoveable point during her school years. When everything around her had been chaos and uncertainty, when her parents had died, Snape had always been Snape.
Where Harry had Dumbledore to lean on and look up to, Hermione had Snape. For some reason, no matter how sarcastic or cutting his words might have been, he had been like the centre of the storm for Hermione. Whenever they were in the same room, she had felt calm and safe. Even when the war had ended, the smell of the Potions lab had often been enough to bring Hermione a similar sense of peace. It wasn't the same, though. The Potions lab didn't throb with awareness of his presence, nor did it envelop her with a deep feeling of security. Suddenly seeing him today, Hermione was faced with the stark reality that she was now floating adrift in her storm, and she had missed his steadying influence more than she had realised.
Hermione blindly opened the gate, the creaking of the handle perforating her awareness only slightly as she walked up the path towards the front door. Like an automaton, she put the key into the lock and went inside, throwing her rucksack on the bottom stair and then aiming for the sofa. She sat gingerly, wringing her hands together as she stared into the ashes of last night's fire. The smell of blood was in her nostrils, and she began to weep as the now all too vivid memory of the Shrieking Shack assailed her. Unaware, she slid down onto the rug in front of the fire and began to sob uncontrollably. It didn't matter that Snape had survived by some small miracle. She had thought that she had seen him die. It had felt like the world had disappeared under her feet and for months months and months Hermione had grieved for him alone, beyond explanation or rational thought.
***
It had taken Severus several attempts to locate the correct dwelling, and he had almost missed Hilltop Cottage as he walked purposefully down the lane. It was the swinging of the gate that first caught his attention, its hinges protesting against the light breeze. As his eyes followed the path, he noticed the small wooden sign above a front door that appeared to have been left open, the key still in the lock. Severus closed his eyes and stretched out his awareness slowly, pulling back just as carefully. Taking a deep breath, he pushed the gate open and stepped through, catching his forehead on the overgrown Privet and swearing silently as he felt blood seep from the scratch. Licking his finger a little, he rubbed the blood away and glared at the offending branch before continuing down the path to knock at the door with a gentle tap, tap.
Severus waited for a few seconds and then pushed the door open impatiently. It was bad enough that he was here in the first place, never mind that Granger had no thought for security or concern for who might walk in off the street. As he stepped inside, he heard what sounded like sobbing and rolled his eyes. The part of him that wanted to just step away from the emotional woman was screaming at him to flee for his life. However, the little-known but often stronger, compassionate side was intrigued. And against his better judgement, he was genuinely concerned.
Severus walked into the middle of the room and stared down at the top of Hermione's head as it shook. Her crazy hair was still just that, and to his initial glance, she hadn't changed at all in the two and some years since he had last set eyes on her.
'Miss Granger,' he said softly.
Hermione thought she was hearing things when she heard him speak her name.
'I really am losing the plot,' she thought to herself. But then he spoke again, a little sterner this time, and she rubbed her already puffy eyes and looked up at him.
He was standing in her front room with his arms folded and a frown on his face, wearing black Muggle jeans, his old Hogwarts boots, and what looked like a donkey jacket that had seen better days. She was so overwhelmed, she didn't know whether to laugh or just keep crying.
'I really did think you were dead,' she whispered. 'You fooled everyone, including me.'
Much to both of their dismay, Hermione started to cry again.
Severus coughed uncomfortably and then fumbled around in his pocket. It was not unknown for him to catch the odd cold, so he had invested in handy packs of pre-packaged tissues and always kept one in his jacket in case of emergencies. Grabbing the packet, he handed it to the still weeping witch and then walked to the kitchen. If ever there was a time for tea, it was this.
The kitchen was small and narrow, not unlike his own. However, the equipment was a little more up to date. The worktops were made of gleaming granite, and Severus ran his fingers across the sparkling surface appreciatively as he waited for the kettle to boil. His eye was drawn to the view from the kitchen window, where a rickety wooden bird table sat in the middle of a patch of unkempt grass. There were crumbs on the table, and a couple of hedge sparrows were pecking away at them. Severus felt a twinge of envy as he craned his neck to see more of the garden. It seemed to stretch for quite some distance around the rear of the cottage, and he would have loved to go out and explore it. The kettle clicked off and interrupted his musing, and he sighed as he went back to the task in hand. The cynical side of him laughed loudly as he realised he still had to calm down the witch in the other room. He had a feeling it would be a conversation he would regret, either now or at some point in the future.
Hermione had stopped crying and felt her face redden as she heard the professor making tea in her kitchen, feeling there was something wrong with it. She should be playing host, entertaining him as a guest in her home. She had often thought that they might be friends, given different circumstances. Hearing his footsteps on the wooden floor as he walked back into the room, Hermione raised her red-rimmed eyes to his.
'I am very sorry, Professor. I don't know what you must think of me.' She stood awkwardly, a couple of screwed-up tissues falling from her lap, and she reached for the mug of tea he offered to her.
Severus watched her as she took a tentative sip. Her face was streaked with the tracks of her tears, but as the tea warmed her, colour started to return to her cheeks. With a satisfied nod, Severus walked over to the chair beside the fireplace and sat down without waiting for an invitation.
'I never know what that comment means. Do you wish to know what I actually think of you, or would you prefer I remain silent ?' he asked conversationally. He lifted his mug and took a noisy slurp.
Hermione let slip a nervous giggle, which earned her a raised eyebrow and a small smile.
'Sit down, Granger. You look like a guest in your own home.' Severus held Hermione's gaze for a moment until she did as he said, sitting down uncomfortably in the middle of the sofa.
'I'm not sure I do want to know, now you mention it,' Hermione said, keeping her eyes on her tea.
Severus let out a bark of laughter, and Hermione jumped and sloshed her tea onto the wool rug.
'Shit,' she muttered. But before she could head for the kitchen and grab a J-cloth, Severus 'Evanesco'd' the spilt tea with his wand.
'Thanks,' Hermione said. 'I don't use magic here, to be honest. I never have.'
Severus nodded in understanding. 'It is all the more necessary not to at the moment, I would imagine.'
'What do you mean?' Hermione asked, surprised.
Severus looked at her for a short moment, then reached inside his jacket and pulled out the folded copy of the Daily Prophet. He didn't say anything, but he leant forward slightly and handed it to her before stretching out his leg slowly. The ache was back, and he rubbed at his thigh through habit, unaware that the movement caught Hermione's attention.
'Are you in pain, sir?' Hermione asked him quietly.
'No more than usual. Read, Granger. It's what you are good at, if I remember rightly.' Severus set his face in a grim stare.
Hermione blushed and immediately drew her eyes from him as she opened the paper. Her face adorned the front page, and she frowned as she saw the headline and went on to read the article.
'Bloody hell,' she hissed. 'Of all the... How dare they? This is beyond a joke. You would think they might have more news-worthy things to write about, wouldn't you?'
Severus watched with amusement as the indignation washed over Hermione's face. At least she seemed to be over her tears, whatever that was all about.
'Why did you bring me this, Professor?' Hermione asked. Her voice was tight with anger.
'I felt it prudent. After our almost encounter this morning, I knew that you would be like the proverbial dog, and I the bone. It wouldn't have taken long for you to come calling, but I think you should know it would not have been safe. The Prophet is still interested in my now boring and ordinary life, and if you had visited, as you would most definitely have done, your whereabouts would make the front page. Of that, I have no doubt.'
Severus sat back in his chair and finished his mug of tea, then nursed the empty vessel between his hands as he looked at Hermione.
Hermione stared at Snape for a moment. He looked settled in the armchair, relaxed almost. Both legs were outstretched in front of him now, and his fingers were interlocked around his mug. Without really being aware of it, she had felt calmer in the last ten minutes than she had in months. His presence soothed her, and she didn't really want him to leave just yet. Even the reality that she probably wouldn't be able to stay undetected in New Mills for very much longer didn't affect her as much as it probably should have, and Snape was definitely staring at her as if he was waiting for the fall-out.
Hermione stood and held her hand out for his mug.
'Shall we have more tea?' she asked him with a slow, almost shy smile.
Severus's gaze softened slightly, and his eyes crinkled at the corners as he handed her his mug and nodded.
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Latest 25 Reviews for Hilltop Cottage
734 Reviews | 7.3/10 Average
This was such a great read, thanks for sharing! I was especially happy to see that Minerva recovered well enough to be able to attend Severus' and Hermione's wedding. It just wouldn't have been the same without her. And Donovan, you just know that boy is going to be such a heartbreaker. Well done!
God what a beautiful beginning. I got chills when I read the first few sentences of this chapter. It reminded me of a 19th century British novel.... something from Hardy. I love your writing. There are naughty bits that are fun to read, but you have a charming prose that just strikes me sometimes. So, I just wanted to tell you how much I enjoy your writing. THANK YOU!
Response from neelix (Author of Hilltop Cottage)
To be compared to Hardy made me smile :) You're very kind,but more than that I'm so happy you like the,story :)
For such inteligent people, in the love department they really had lower grades...so quick to think badly of one another, especialy Severus, but Hermione had her moments, too.
I was so glad when they finally learned and began to trust each other!!!
It was an interesting journey. Thank you.
Great story :) Excellent job with the buildup, realistic angst scenes, and a happy ending. I thoroughly enjoyed it!
WTF!! Why is she letting Alicia plant stupid doubts in her mind? Alicia doesn't even know Severus! And Severus was obviously not too happy with Alicia. For Merlin's sake! What the hell is the matter with Hermione?? When did she become so gullible and wishy washy? This isn't the Hermione who stood up to Malfoy and punched him in the face! She needs to take a pill or something.
And there are a hell of a lot of worse things in the world than a man who stands by you as the mother of his child!!! Get over the Cinderella complex Herms. 
OK! What the Fuck is wrong with Severus now? These aren't weak minded individuals. Snape is a freaking spy who fooled Voldemort for like 20 year, for gods sake! He should be able to see a BSer from a mile away! These two are really getting on my freaking left nerve. Doesn't Mister Ligilimens remember being inside Hermone's head? I don't know how much more of their BS I can stand. Get over yourselves Hermione and Severus! You two are freaking making me want to poke my damned eyes out!!!
Oooooh, I never would have thought! Severus will put her in her place. There's a reason Hermione is his first and only relationship. I'm sure Alicia isn't the first woman to come on to the Potion's Master. 
Too bad for Hermione, though. Betrayed by a friend. Hopefully if Alicia realizes tonight that they are engaged to be married she will back off, for Hermione's sake. I can't imagine she would think she had a chance with Severus if he want's to brush her off. He's a master at putting people in their place.
I'm looking forward to that if it becomes necessary.
I just hope this doesn't interfere with Minerva's cure.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, neelix! 
It was about time these two became a family. I'm so glad Hermione realizes she should not have left him. I will forgive her for breaking Severus' heart because of her youth and immaturity.
Now that she's a grown woman, she hopefully has her priorities straight. She can still be Dr. Granger, but she should keep it in prospective. Now, what about dear Minerva?
Severus wouldn't be the first man to change his ways once a father. If I was Severus though, like you said in the story, he needs to be sure she is committed to making this work and not leaving again when she feels hurt. Obviously she has no idea how she nearly killed him the first time she left him. By the same token, Hermione wouldn't be the first woman to grow up and make a committment to see the rough spots through rather than leave when things got rocky after having a child together. Everything changes when a couple says, you are stuck with me for the rest of our lives. How do you want to do the next 60 years? The hard way or the easy way? Make your choice.
Hopefully, she has seen that if you leave, you just change the problems you have for new ones. Unless there is physical abuse, infedelity or addiction, I think most things can be worked out. The 4 things just mentioned would be deal breakers for me. I hope they are happy together now. That's what stories are for. The happily ever after.
Please!!! It's not my place to say???? For God's sake! Let drag out the pain as long as possible shall we? Intereasting the penny dropped and Severus knew why he hadn't got her letter. Luna had told her but I guess she wasn't listening. I give up! Snapes blaming himself for being a jerk but she isn't blaming herself for anything at all. She didn't do anything wrong.
"What- an- idiot!" Hermione. How long did it take you to realize he didn't know.
I'm going back to Hermione's visit to St. Mungo's. Is she that thick? Did she hear Luna say he didn't get her letter, or at least take the hint that he may not have gotten her letter, the same as Minerva, and that she was wrong? Now she has a chance to do something about it and it doesn't seemed to have crossed her mind.
Poor Severus. I don't remember reading any stories where I liked Severus and thought Hermione was the idiot. Good original plot, just uncomfortable.
She didn't want to give up the parties and her work for Severus, but she has because she had his baby. Now, she's just lonely while giving them up. And it was all unecessry. He jumping to the conclusion that she left him for someone else, and she to he conclusion that he couldn't change.
You never even gave him a second chance to know he was wrong. Was it worth it Hermione, in the scope of things?
Did you think you were going to find someone else who understood you better and loved you more?
You could have been pregnant while with Severus and had a baby together.
There needs to be a smiley for="Self Absorbed!"
I'll think about it????
I had written a novel sized review after the last chapter but I hit one wrong button and lost it. Damn!!! I think I spent an hour and a half going back and researching the story so that I could review all the chapters I'd missed at the same time.
She needed to put chapter 14 in a pensive.
As for this
"Hermione was thrown. Not only had Severus left Spinner’s End to help find a cure for Minerva, he was also back at Hogwarts. After all that time spent in New Mills, avoiding the wizarding world and holing himself up like a hermit, he was back in the public eye in a way she would never have anticipated. She wondered what it all meant." 
I'll tell you what it all means, little sister. It means you jumped the gun when you went off in a huff! You never worried about any one elses pain but your own, including the man you claimed to love.
I am sorry to be so bitter toward her for your sake. I don't blame the story or think the story is lame. I'm just pissed off at Hermione, still have a migrain and should be in bed, because I have to go to work tomorrow, but I can't stop reading your story.
Please forgive me for not spell checking.
Goodbye Severus???? Hermione stared up into his face. It shocked her to realise that she didn’t truly know the man before her. He was more complex and insecure than she had ever imagined, and he wouldn’t change, not ever.
She's his first relationship in his entire life and he is her first love. How does she know he won't change, ever.( 
Know-it- All) I will say, OK he is being a really big prick, a huge bastard and a fuck up. He has really hurt you with this.
However, he already has changed by having his first relationship this late in his life.
She knows she is the first person he has ever trusted like, this doesn't she?
I know she's hurt and doesn't think he really loves her right now, but I dont feel like she was ever really committed to a long term relationship with him. He was handy and helped her get over the war. I guess she was on a war just rebound.
She sure made up her mind rather abruptly!
Only a few momments ago she was declairing her deep love for him. Maybe what she should really say is, "he's just too complex and insecure for her to waste any more of her time on."
Is she sweet little Hermione who just accepts him as he is, loving him so unconditionally. Or, is she just not willing to take the time to work on a relationsip with Severus Snape. She doesn't seemed to have warned him that this, not going places with her, was becoming a deal breaker for her.
Has she ever brought up the fact that it bothers her that he never says he love her?
This is his first relationship in his entire life for a reason. Of course, she is young and after all he isn't her husband, he's just a "boyfriend".
I don't know what she means though, when she says she's shocked and doesn't know this man.
He's been a mean tempered git since the first time she met him when she was 11, and she just now realized he has a tendancy to jump to the worst possible conclusions when he's worreid or up set, and that he has serious anger management problems?
If she truly loves him as much as she says, I think she should have told him what the deal breakers were and given him a chance to prove himself.
He's already pissed off right now, as it is. So she can tell him what needs to happen if he wants to keep her then leave him to stew and think about how much he is willing to do to keep her.
I've been with the same man three times the number of years I was single or 3 times longer than I was alive when we first got together. You don't get to have a lifetime mate unless you give people a chance to work on their issues before you bail for good. I don't think Hermione had ever intended to spend her entire life with Severus.
After 5 years, I think she would have pressed him a little harder to work things out sooner.
Snape is being a real shit. Yes he just falsly accussed her. However, ‘I understand, witch,’ he whispered. ‘I wouldn’t want to stay with me either.’ Is this the hint of the century or what? He can't imagine why she had wanted to be with him in the first place. From chapt. 11-'I missed you, you know. After you “died.”’ Hermione made quotation marks with her free hand and looked into his face. ‘I had no idea you meant so much to me, until I thought you were gone forever.’
She was looking at him with expectation. Severus shrugged.
“I don’t know what you want me to say, Hermione,’ he sighed. ‘Whatever you see in me is misguided. I have nothing to offer.’
This is so sad.
I'm sorry for not keeping up on my reviews for each chapter, but I've had a migraine all weekend. I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about all that I've read so far. I hope they work this out.
about time! I should have been in bed two hours ago but I couldn't leave it on such a sad note.
This isn't a good sign guys.
Poor Severus. She didn't give him much of a choice without him rejecting her outright. But he doesn't have a chance in hell of coming away unscathed. Will it be worth it? I hope Hermione doesn't let me down. She on a war rebound which is worse than a Ronnald Weasely rebound. She says she needs him. Does she know what she's asking from him? I really don't think so. If he's in for a penny, he's in for a pound. Severus Snape does nothing in the middle. I hope Hermione see's that.
I'm very happy she has given Severus a garden. I hope she isn't leading him on. She seems very young here. I know that in a story this long there are usually some bumps in the road to love, but I never look forward to them. The story is sweet and filling me with anticipation of them becoming a couple.
I know Snape will keep her secret. And I think Snape is going to get a friend. Will it turn into a romance or will it bite him in the butt just like he probably expects it to?
I hope Hermione is trying to figure out how to get Snape back as much as he's trying to get her back.
I assume Severus will keep Hermione's secret. It's not Snepelike to gossip. But he'll think about what Minerva has said and will feel duty bound to check on "the girl". I wonder who will contact who first. I am also assuming that Hermione isn't using her wand so that she can't be traced back to this place by the Ministry knowing her wand has been used. When she uses it in Diagon Alley doing little insignificant spells, is just no one paying attention because of where the magic is being cast and mainly only notice it when it's in a Muggle area? Could the Ministry have found Hermione, Harry and Ron the last year of the war by following thier wands? 