Sense and Sensibility

AN: I tell you, all of the kind reviews I've received have really given me a boost! I've been writing like a fiend! Thanks to every one of you, it means a lot to me. I won't promise to always be able to update so fast...dang real life...but I'll do my best to keep this fic rolling along.

My fantabulous beta, Vaughn, has a bigger bear of a real life than I do, yet she still makes time to help me out! Three woots and a big squee for Vaughn!

Special thanks to alert reader, Karen, who caught the fact that I used the word 'council' when I meant 'counsel' in chapter 3. Thanks Karen! :)

Disclaimer: They are not mine; I only take them out to play.

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Who in the rainbow can draw the line where the violet tint ends and the orange tint begins? Distinctly we see the difference of the colors, but where exactly does the one first blendingly enter into the other? So with sanity and insanity.

-Technel Herman Melville 1819-1891

The conversation around the kitchen table was not going at all well. Having brought up the subject of the two scenes that she still wanted to view in the Pensieve, Hermione sat quietly as Harry shouted. Hermione had thought that, after last night, Harry might be able to talk with her about it like an adult. Apparently, she'd been wrong. The whole situation puzzled Hermione. Normally, Harry didn't behave this way unless he felt very guilty about something. When he felt he himself was at fault, he tended to act out. He'd get very angry and even go so far as to blame others for what he felt he'd done himself. Hermione knew that Harry still felt guilty about Sirius, and even about Cedric, but what was making him so impossible now? Well, she'd never get anywhere with this if she let the situation digress into another screaming match, as had happened yesterday. Frustrated but determined to be patient, Hermione waited for Harry to shout himself out.

Ron sat by Hermione's side, wisely staying out of it. Watching Harry as quietly as Hermione did, he showed just how much he'd matured over the past year. Once upon a time, Ron would have immediately taken Harry's side, even if he didn't understand the situation. During the short time they had been dating, Ron had done the opposite by taking Hermione's side no matter what the issue. Hermione was still a little wistful that their relationship had not worked out. After two months of dating, they had both conceded that it wasn't really going anywhere. Not terribly surprising, really. After all, school relationships rarely made it past a brace of months. The best thing about the whole situation was that both Ron and she had been determined not to let it ruin their friendship, and it hadn't. Four months ago, Neville and Luna had tried dating. It had scarcely lasted a week and they still weren't speaking to each other. No, Ron and she had been very lucky. They were still friends, and she couldn't think of anything that would ever change that.

Hermione's private musing ended as Harry suddenly wound down, looking at her a bit sheepishly. He must have finally realized that he'd been involved in a one-man shouting match.

"Now that you've had that out," Hermione said coolly, "do you think we might manage to have a discussion about this like adults instead of caterwauling like a dying jobberknoll?"

"I've told you before, there's no use discussing it. I'm not going to show you, and that's that," Harry said hotly.

"That's too bad, Harry," Hermione continued in the same cool voice. Standing up, she faced him over the table. "Because if you won't discuss this with me rationally...if you won't treat me with the respect that a trusted friend deserves...then I am going to go upstairs. I am going to pack my things. And then," she said, leaning over the table, a dead serious expression in her eyes, "I am going to walk out of the front door of this house and I am never, ever going to come back. So what's it going to be, Harry? Rational discussion or do I treat you in the same rude and childish manner that you have been treating me?"

"You don't mean it!" Harry exclaimed, his face going as pale and grey as ashes.

"You know how to tell if I'm lying," she continued, still leaning over him. "What do you think, Harry?"

"She's not lying, mate," Ron said, his voice painfully calm. "And quite frankly, I don't blame her...what with the way you've been screaming at her. You've shown her everything else. It does make me wonder what's so bloody terrible about those two scenes that you would treat a friend this way."

Looking stricken, Harry sputtered for a moment, sound but no sense coming out of his mouth. With obvious effort he tried to calm himself, perhaps knowing that all it would take was one more moment of shouting to drive Hermione to make good on her threat to leave. Suddenly, a sly look came into his eyes. "If I agree to discuss it--not do it, just discuss it...then you'll stay?"

"Yes," Hermione said firmly as she once again took her seat. "But you have to promise to try to listen to what I have to say with an open mind. After I've said my piece, if you still don't want to show me what I need to know, then I want to know why. And none of the lame excuses that you've been trying to shut me up with, either."

In Harry's defense, he considered Hermione's words very carefully. He knew that if he agreed to do what she'd said, there would be no backing out later. At last, he nodded. "Agreed," he said simply.

Something tight in Hermione's expression finally relaxed. Knowing that she still had her work cut out for her did nothing to stop her sudden relief. Harry was stubborn as a mule sometimes, but he generally would see sense if you could get him to calm down and listen.

"All right then," Hermione began. "I'm probably not going to talk about what you expect me to, but I want you both to stay silent for a bit and hear me out. You may not like what I have to say, but I promise you that it's important."

Both of the young men nodded their agreement, though they looked somewhat wary.

"I want to talk about Severus Snape." The words had scarcely left Hermione's lips when both Ron and Harry's mouths opened, their expressions both angry and disgusted. "Stop right there! You said that you would listen!"

The two mouths closed, but the boys still looked a bit mutinous about it.

"Believe me, I know how you feel about the man. I know what he's done, and I know this won't be easy, but I swear there is reason for it."

"Fine," growled Ron. "You've made your point. Get on with it."

Closing her eyes for a moment, Hermione took a deep breath as she gathered her thoughts. "To start with, I want us all to look at Snape and how he treated people while we were in school. I need you both to try to ignore what happened on the Astronomy tower. We need to specifically take a good look at Snape the whole time that we knew him up until that point. Do you understand?"

"What good will this do? The man's a filthy--"

"That's enough, Harry! I said what I need you to do. Do you understand?"

"Yes," Harry grumbled.

"You don't have to like it, you just have to do it," Hermione said with a small, amused smile. "Now, I also need us to look at his actions, not how he spoke to us. I know he was a right prick to us verbally; we don't need to rehash all of that. We do need to look at his actions."

Hermione paused again while both Harry and Ron nodded their understanding. Both still looked disgusted, but neither were arguing or shouting. As beginnings went, it was better than Hermione had hoped.

"Now then, I'm going to start with our first year and I'm going to remind us of some events which I think are important. When I'm done, I want to ask you some questions. Remember, we aren't concerned with Snape's attitude only with his actions. As they say, actions speak louder than words."

Hermione talked for over an hour. She spoke of how Snape had saved Harry's life first year. She spoke of how Snape had brewed the potion their second year that had restored all the petrified students. For a long while, Hermione talked about the events that had happened third year in the Shrieking Shack. Yes, he'd been stubborn and nasty, but Hermione repeated, word for word, what Snape had said to Harry in that room. There was no doubt that...wrong as he was...Snape had been convinced that he was saving Harry from a dangerous criminal. For fourth year, Hermione reminded them how Snape had fiercely shown Fudge his dark mark when Fudge had been too dense...or too frightened...to listen to Albus about Voldemort's return. It was hardly the action of a loyal Death Eater. She closed with their fifth year, reminding them that Snape had given Umbridge fake Veritaserum when he knew she meant to use it on Harry. She also spoke of how Snape had contacted the Order immediately after Harry had given him the jumbled message in front of Umbridge, and how he had gone looking for them in the forest after that. When she finally finished, she began her questions.

"Now then, focus on our first five years at school. Ignore his hateful words to us. Focus on his actions. Do you agree that Snape has done things to help Harry, indeed, to help all of us? That he has saved Harry's life as well as done other things to aid him?" The boys reluctantly agreed. "Is there any time, any time at all that Snape has hurt a student?"

"No," Harry said. "But no teacher would risk hurting a student. That doesn't prove the man isn't evil!"

"Harry," Hermione said softly, "He was a mean teacher, no doubt. But evil?" Reaching out to him, Hermione picked up Harry's hand and lifted it until the faded scar which read "I will not tell lies" glinted in the light. "I think that we have a perfect example of what an evil teacher would be like," she said emphatically. "Can you honestly tell me that Snape was anything like that evil old hag?"

Though he looked as if he dearly wanted to argue, Harry gave in, closing his eyes and dropping his head. "No, Hermione. I see what you mean. Umbridge was evil. Snape was only mean."

"So, looking at all of Snape's actions leading up to our sixth year, what do you think about what happened on the tower?"

Both young men were silent for some time. Finally, Ron looked straight at Hermione and said, "It doesn't fit."

Unable to hide the flash of triumph in her eyes, Hermione said, "Explain what you mean, Ron."

"It simply doesn't fit. If you look at all of Snape's actions up until that point, what happened on the tower doesn't fit. It's a glaring discrepancy. Sure, there are rumors, but we don't have one shred of evidence that Snape has ever hurt anyone, aside from the usual jinxes and such that we all do. Then he up and kills someone who was supposedly his friend. It doesn't make any sense!"

"What does it matter?" Harry snapped. "He still killed Albus!"

"Yes, Harry, he did. I'm not arguing that," Hermione said calmly. "But why? Why did Snape suddenly do something that simply doesn't seem in his usual nature? Why won't the headmaster's' portrait talk about it at all? Dumbledore wasn't shy in life and his portrait doesn't seem to be either. If he felt betrayed...if he felt that Snape was a threat to us and to Hogwarts, he would shout down the castle telling us so."

"I still want to know why it's important," Harry said, the anger gone from his voice.

"As I said to Remus last night, knowledge is power. There are far too many mysteries running rampant, and it's beginning to look to me like Snape killing Dumbledore is the biggest of the lot. If we don't understand why, then that means that we are missing something. If we are missing something, it might be something damned important. I don't know about you, but when it comes time for us to face Voldemort, I don't want to be missing an important piece of the puzzle. I want to know every last thing that may be a factor in whether we win that battle, or whether we lose it."

"But, Hermione," Ron said, "Harry's told us about what Hagrid overheard. Wouldn't that be the missing piece? Couldn't Snape have killed him because they had a falling out?"

"Two wizards who have been on friendly terms for years have a falling out, so the wizard who has never been known to harm anyone suddenly kills the other? I think there must be more to it than that. That's one of the reasons I want to see what happened for myself, Harry. I also want to see exactly what Snape did, how he looked, and how he acted. It's important, Harry, I know it is. If it wasn't, do you think I'd risk losing your friendship arguing about it?"

"No, of course not," Harry said. "You've proven your point. I see why you need to see it. I need some time to think over what you've told me, and to calm down first. It's not going to be easy, living through that again."

"I know that, Harry. If I didn't think it was desperately important, I would never ask you to."

"I need to be alone for a while, give me until tonight. Then I'll show you what happened on the tower."

"And in the cave?" Hermione asked.

"I don't know about that...damn...I told you that I'd tell you why if I refused. Telling you why would be as hard as letting you see it. Listen, I'll think about it, I promise, just give me some time."

"Of course, Harry. I don't mean to rush you, I really don't. But I feel like there is still so much we have to do, so many questions to find answers for, and so little time to do it."

"I understand, love," Harry said, managing a small smile, "I really do, just give me a little while."

"I've an idea," Ron said. "We've gotten rather low on supplies. What say Hermione and I go shopping for the afternoon? We can stock up and you can have some peace and quiet."

"That's a great idea, Ron! We do need groceries, and that way Harry won't think I'm lurking around, ready to pounce on him!"

The three friends laughed together, which made them all feel instantly better after so much serious talk. While Harry went off the tiny backyard to lounge in the sun and think, Ron and Hermione got their things together and went shopping.

Hermione had always thought any sort of shopping that didn't involve books and writing implements a terrible chore. Today, after so much talk and worry, the simple ritual of buying food and toiletries was a welcome distraction. By unspoken agreement, Ron and Hermione shied away from talking about the discussion in the kitchen. Instead, they talked of comforting, inconsequential things. Ron told her about Charlie's visit. Hermione told Ron about talking to Luna recently and how Luna and Neville still weren't speaking to each other. Both of them talked about how glad they were that they had managed to overcome such foolishness when they had split up. It wasn't until Ron ducked into a Quidditch shop that Hermione had a moment alone. Without Ron's lighthearted chatter, she immediately found herself rehashing bits of the discussion.

It had gone much better than she ever could have hoped. Both Harry and Ron were stubborn, and both could hold a grudge for ages. Neither of them had one good thing to say about Snape when they had been in school. All three of them, Hermione included, had hated Snape after the Headmaster's death. Remus had gotten Hermione to think about the situation in a more intellectual way, which wasn't surprising. Hermione was simply more intellectual than the boys. Harry and Ron were more inclined to let their emotions take precedence over their intellect. To be honest, it was rather a miracle that she'd gotten them to calm down and listen to her at all. Hermione had hated to have to resort to telling them that she'd walk out, but she'd seen no other way to make them truly realize how serious she was about the matter.

There was one thing about the whole discussion that puzzled Hermione exceedingly. Harry had still balked over showing her the trip to the cave that he'd taken right before Dumbledore was killed. Having thought that Harry would protest more strongly about having to relive his friend's death, Hermione didn't understand why he would agree to show her that yet still be nervous about the cave. What the hell had happened in that cave? She'd assumed he'd gotten so furious because he felt guilty for being helpless when Dumbledore was cornered. Apparently, he felt more strongly about what he and Dumbledore had done in the cave. It didn't make any sense. No matter. That night she would get to see for herself what happened on the tower, and it seemed likely that Harry would eventually show her the events in the cave as well. Once she had that information, Hermione was certain that things would make more sense.

Of course, it's when we begin to get answers that a plethora of new questions appear.