New Chapter for At the Beach
At the Beach
chivalric530 Reviews | 7.18/10 (530 Ratings, 0 Likes, 378 Favorites )
Ten years after the war, a man takes a stroll along the beach and meets someone from his past.
Start ReadingChapters (13)
About chivalric
Author
chivalric
Member Since 2007 | 65 Stories | Favorited by 776 | 213 Reviews Written | 4,182 Review Responses
Located in Germany. Female, around 40. The first chapters of my published novels/novellas can be found here on the archive.
Other than writing, I am reading, cycling, running, and singing in a choir.
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In case I don't react to mails for a considerable lenght of time (I usually get back to people within the week), please contact shellsnapeluver or Dreamy_Dragon. They both know how to get through to me.Or simply mail me at sampres55@yahoo.de
Reviews for At the Beach
Out of the mouth of babes, "Rose said, "Grandma always says Mummy should look after us and cook better food and that the kitchen is the most important place in a house, not the library." Too bad, Tessa bought into That theory. Good thing, she had some time to think about what she wants, not what her m-i-l thinks is proper. We saw some of Carlos' past this chapter, will Tessa hear about his past next chapter? I was just thinking about your story when it posted. I'm happy you posted this chapter and I definitely can't wait for the next. By the way, this story was my favorite in the vote. Love it.
Response from chivalric (Author of At the Beach)
Thanks so much for your lovely review! I wanted to show how much the children like Carlos, talking to him and trusting him. Of course they had to tell him some secrets ;-)Yes, she changed, as well as he did. Just not into a good way. I truly believe a marriage with Ron would have done that to her. No happy ending despite the Epilogue in DH. Well, that's why I write. To change things that might have been facts once, but aren't anymore.Thanks a lot for voting and reviewing. The next chapter will get posted sometime next week.
Response from chivalric (Author of At the Beach)
Thanks so much for your lovely review! I wanted to show how much the children like Carlos, talking to him and trusting him. Of course they had to tell him some secrets ;-)Yes, she changed, as well as he did. Just not into a good way. I truly believe a marriage with Ron would have done that to her. No happy ending despite the Epilogue in DH. Well, that's why I write. To change things that might have been facts once, but aren't anymore.Thanks a lot for voting and reviewing. The next chapter will get posted sometime next week.
I'm enjoying this story very much, as I have enjoyed your previous work. Your style of writing has a nice flow. I'm at a loss though, trying to understand why "Carlos" and "Tessa" don't recognize eachother.
Response from chivalric (Author of At the Beach)
Why should they? They were in a student-teacher relationship, and I know I wouldn't recognise most of my teachers. They were just old people who put loads of homework on my shoulders. And if I knew one of them had died ten years ago, even a striking resemblance wouldn't make me think it's him. Besides, they both have changed a lot, not only by their looks, but their behaviour, most of all. This is a Snape OOC - friendly, caring, smiling. And Hermione is not the lively, ever talking, brilliant young witch anymore, but a Muggle mother with two small kids, shortish blond hair, and a melancholic air around her. No way they would recognise each other. Not at first sight and even not after a week. Maybe later, though ;-)Thanks a lot for your comment on my style. As I am not a native speaker, that makes me proud!
Response from Clairvoyant (Reviewer)
Great explanation. Now I know.
Response from chivalric (Author of At the Beach)
Why should they? They were in a student-teacher relationship, and I know I wouldn't recognise most of my teachers. They were just old people who put loads of homework on my shoulders. And if I knew one of them had died ten years ago, even a striking resemblance wouldn't make me think it's him. Besides, they both have changed a lot, not only by their looks, but their behaviour, most of all. This is a Snape OOC - friendly, caring, smiling. And Hermione is not the lively, ever talking, brilliant young witch anymore, but a Muggle mother with two small kids, shortish blond hair, and a melancholic air around her. No way they would recognise each other. Not at first sight and even not after a week. Maybe later, though ;-)Thanks a lot for your comment on my style. As I am not a native speaker, that makes me proud!
Response from Clairvoyant (Reviewer)
Great explanation. Now I know.
Oh, it does my heart good to see 'Tessa' coming out of her shell. It looks like the night holds so much promise for these two. I'm looking forward to seeing what unfolds on that veranda!
Response from chivalric (Author of At the Beach)
Let's see... hmmm, ah, yes, that... and this... and they talk about... aha! Good things to happen in the next chapter!Hope that helps *grins* I will post it soon, dear!
Response from chivalric (Author of At the Beach)
Let's see... hmmm, ah, yes, that... and this... and they talk about... aha! Good things to happen in the next chapter!Hope that helps *grins* I will post it soon, dear!
Wonderful update, dear! I loved it! *smiles and gives you a flower for your hard work*
Response from chivalric (Author of At the Beach)
Thank you, dearest! I loved writing this fic and I wonder if you will like how it continues. Let me know!
Response from chivalric (Author of At the Beach)
Thank you, dearest! I loved writing this fic and I wonder if you will like how it continues. Let me know!
This is so lovely and touching! You paint such a vivid picture of loss and longing and the all-too-rare shared connection between two vulnerable souls. Exquisite. I don't want this visit to end anymore than Carlos does.
Response from chivalric (Author of At the Beach)
Thank you so very much! This story was written in the summer, and the plot bunny bit me when I was sunbathing at the lake. I wanted a bittersweet lovestory, and I hope I managed this task. I will post the next chapter sometime next week. Again - thanks a lot for reviewing!
Response from chivalric (Author of At the Beach)
Thank you so very much! This story was written in the summer, and the plot bunny bit me when I was sunbathing at the lake. I wanted a bittersweet lovestory, and I hope I managed this task. I will post the next chapter sometime next week. Again - thanks a lot for reviewing!
This is such a sweet and lovely story. I can almost feel the salty air on my skin and taste the great wine from Carlos vinyard.Now my question is does he speak with an accent? How is it they do not recognize each others voices? I can see hers may have changed as she was barely grown when he had last seen her. I anticipate recognition is coming soon.I wonder if both will recognize each other simultaneously or if one will know the other first. Perhaps Tessa already knows who Carlos is as we do not know the story from her point of view.I am looking forward to the next update.
Response from chivalric (Author of At the Beach)
Now that was a shot right through my heart, dear. Damn, I didn't even think about their voices (that is, I did, but I didn't add it to the story.) *rushes and adds a few sentences concerning voices*Your are right, of course. Her voice has changed due to maturity. His... well, I'll find an explanation. Let me know if it works. Thanks so much for the hint!He will recognise her. There are only one or two scenes from her POV, and it will be after she's left the island. She doesn't know who he is. Not yet. So clearly, neither his looks nor his voice gives him away ;-)Thanks for reviewing!
Response from geomancer (Reviewer)
Perhaps due to the time which has past and the fact that she would not expect him in this place she has not made the connection to his voice.
Response from chivalric (Author of At the Beach)
Now that was a shot right through my heart, dear. Damn, I didn't even think about their voices (that is, I did, but I didn't add it to the story.) *rushes and adds a few sentences concerning voices*Your are right, of course. Her voice has changed due to maturity. His... well, I'll find an explanation. Let me know if it works. Thanks so much for the hint!He will recognise her. There are only one or two scenes from her POV, and it will be after she's left the island. She doesn't know who he is. Not yet. So clearly, neither his looks nor his voice gives him away ;-)Thanks for reviewing!
Response from geomancer (Reviewer)
Perhaps due to the time which has past and the fact that she would not expect him in this place she has not made the connection to his voice.
oh i wonder what wonders that wine is going to do? x.x
Response from chivalric (Author of At the Beach)
*grin* The wine is certainly magical, but what will happen will happen not because of alcohol. Let's see... she'll come downstairs, they talk, they indeed drink some wine...... and for the rest you will have to wait for the update. I will post sometime next week, promise. And thanks a lot for reviewing!
Response from chivalric (Author of At the Beach)
*grin* The wine is certainly magical, but what will happen will happen not because of alcohol. Let's see... she'll come downstairs, they talk, they indeed drink some wine...... and for the rest you will have to wait for the update. I will post sometime next week, promise. And thanks a lot for reviewing!
"Thinking was unnecessary in the depths of the ocean, wondering who the other one was or hoping that wishes became true."Oh, I do so want more of this. This is quite lovely!
Response from chivalric (Author of At the Beach)
Thank you so much! The next chapter waits to get posted, and I will do so as soon as the voting is over.
Response from chivalric (Author of At the Beach)
Thank you so much! The next chapter waits to get posted, and I will do so as soon as the voting is over.
You are doing a really wonderful job of developing their relationship and of dropping in such interesting clues to follow. This is a man who has come to terms with his past. This is a woman who is avoiding hers. They have a lot to teach one another.
Response from chivalric (Author of At the Beach)
You know, I didn't even look at it from this POV. The story sort of writes itself, as happens often when I switch on the computer. Strangely enough, life got better for him after the war, although he's supposed to be dead. And it got worse for her, although it is said that she lived happily after having married Ron. I agree. They have a lot to teach each other. Promise: they will!And again - thanks for reviewing!
Response from chivalric (Author of At the Beach)
You know, I didn't even look at it from this POV. The story sort of writes itself, as happens often when I switch on the computer. Strangely enough, life got better for him after the war, although he's supposed to be dead. And it got worse for her, although it is said that she lived happily after having married Ron. I agree. They have a lot to teach each other. Promise: they will!And again - thanks for reviewing!
This is a really intriguing, very different way of setting up a meeting between these two. I love the fact that he does not recognize her (she is quite changed), and she does not seem to recognize him, either. Fascinating.
Response from chivalric (Author of At the Beach)
I wondered what would happen if they met, not knowing each other or rather, not recognising each other. Would they be attracted to each other, would they like or even love each other? That was the basic idea that triggered the story, and of course it meant I had to change their appearances. Thanks a lot for reading and reviewing!
Response from chivalric (Author of At the Beach)
I wondered what would happen if they met, not knowing each other or rather, not recognising each other. Would they be attracted to each other, would they like or even love each other? That was the basic idea that triggered the story, and of course it meant I had to change their appearances. Thanks a lot for reading and reviewing!
The plot thickens. I wonder who will be the first to unravel all the clues being tossed about, though she is tantalizingly close, yet still so far, so unable to see that the other is magical in the Muggle world. LOL
Response from chivalric (Author of At the Beach)
The next chapter is ready for posting, but I have to wait until the voting is over before I can do so. And the magic is hidden well, on both sides. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!
Response from chivalric (Author of At the Beach)
The next chapter is ready for posting, but I have to wait until the voting is over before I can do so. And the magic is hidden well, on both sides. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!
Boy, this is turning into a complex summer fling for him, isn't it? And those sneaky little kids - they know Mum wasn't happy and that somehow Carlos makes her happy.
Response from chivalric (Author of At the Beach)
Oh, yes, a very complex fling. Or maybe even more than that. The kids, of course, are too small to know what they reveal. And Carlos is definitely a nice man in this story, not manipulating her into something she doesn't want by using the gathered information.
Response from chivalric (Author of At the Beach)
Oh, yes, a very complex fling. Or maybe even more than that. The kids, of course, are too small to know what they reveal. And Carlos is definitely a nice man in this story, not manipulating her into something she doesn't want by using the gathered information.
I like the pace the story is unfolding at. It works very well. As does the mystery of the Carlos and Tessa. :D
Response from chivalric (Author of At the Beach)
Originally, this was planned as a one shot. Didn't work out, though. I wanted this story to go slow and lazy, like one moves on a hot summer day.Thanks for reviewing, dear!
Response from chivalric (Author of At the Beach)
Originally, this was planned as a one shot. Didn't work out, though. I wanted this story to go slow and lazy, like one moves on a hot summer day.Thanks for reviewing, dear!
Nice touch. And with shorter hair, it would make him pretty much unrecognizable to anyone who doeasn't know him. I'm curious to learn more about her and what has driven him to such an isolated and lonely life.
Response from chivalric (Author of At the Beach)
Thanks for saying that, him being unrecogniseable. That was the biggest feat, that people would think they should recognise each other at first sight. Of course the Dark Mark is gone, too, and the Snape we know wouldn't smile, wouldn't flirt, wouldn't be as much at peace with himself than he is in this story.Thanks for reviewing!
Response from chivalric (Author of At the Beach)
Thanks for saying that, him being unrecogniseable. That was the biggest feat, that people would think they should recognise each other at first sight. Of course the Dark Mark is gone, too, and the Snape we know wouldn't smile, wouldn't flirt, wouldn't be as much at peace with himself than he is in this story.Thanks for reviewing!
It's terribly sad how she mentions her husband's cheating as if it were normal.
Response from chivalric (Author of At the Beach)
It's normal to her. She found out years ago, she's used to it, but doesn't like it nevertheless. Somehow, she thinks his cheating has something to do with her looks or the way she just is. It hasn't, of course. Might take her a little while until she finds out.Thanks for reviewing. The next chapter will go into queue today.
Response from chivalric (Author of At the Beach)
It's normal to her. She found out years ago, she's used to it, but doesn't like it nevertheless. Somehow, she thinks his cheating has something to do with her looks or the way she just is. It hasn't, of course. Might take her a little while until she finds out.Thanks for reviewing. The next chapter will go into queue today.
Children often give away information that adults don't wish they would.
Response from chivalric (Author of At the Beach)
I guess Tessa would have blushed had she heard her child say the words. But she didn't. And now Carlos knows a little bit more about the woman he's after. If this is for the better or the worse you will have to wait until later chapters.
Response from chivalric (Author of At the Beach)
I guess Tessa would have blushed had she heard her child say the words. But she didn't. And now Carlos knows a little bit more about the woman he's after. If this is for the better or the worse you will have to wait until later chapters.
I liek that he doesn't seem to be in this just for his own pleasure, but rather to fill a void he recognizes in her.
Response from chivalric (Author of At the Beach)
I admit, he changed in the past ten years. He's definitely not a bastard (anymore). If he's ever been one, that is.Thanks for reviewing!
Response from chivalric (Author of At the Beach)
I admit, he changed in the past ten years. He's definitely not a bastard (anymore). If he's ever been one, that is.Thanks for reviewing!
Off to a great start. Vacation!Snape is always pleasant to read.
Response from chivalric (Author of At the Beach)
Hi there! Thanks for the praise, and I hope you'll enjoy the rest of the story as well.
Response from chivalric (Author of At the Beach)
Hi there! Thanks for the praise, and I hope you'll enjoy the rest of the story as well.
Excellent! I love the moment of realization for him. Well written.
Response from chivalric (Author of At the Beach)
Thank you so very much!
Response from chivalric (Author of At the Beach)
Thank you so very much!
I am truly enjoying this story. I love how you portray Carlos/SS he seems to have come to terms with his past and is comfortable in his skin. The tattoo is a great idea. I assume the Dark Mark has gone? I wonder if his runes will give it away? I just adore how you have portrayed his interaction with the children...and the children - so sweet. I am wondering if you will allow them to accidentally show their magic?From the physical description of Tessa/Hermione I thought that she had just changed for the holidays (After I initially thought it was Luna), but now that I have read on, it seems that you have made her outwardly assume the persona of what (I imagine) a "Quidditch/Trophy wife" would be - the blond hair and model thin. But perhaps the thinness is mostly borne out of her dissatisfaction with her life? I would be interested to hear your view on that. Also I was wondering what the deal with covering up was? Hiding old war scars? General shyness at being pale and thin? Or loathing of her body due to what Ron has said to her and her feelings of inadequacy generated from his affairs? I could so imagine your characterisations of Hermione/Ron's marriage that Tessa/Hermione gives - spot on for this story. I also like how you had her explaining the past and the progress of her marriage over time. While you could have easily stated Ron was cheating but you fleshed out the prior choices as logical at the time, but ultimately flawed- and showing how such a strong witch has ended up horribly trapped and unhappy. Although I felt incredibly sad at her revelation that Ron had cheated on her. You have portrayed that while the outward appearance of Hermione has changed (and the name) her essence hasn't, and she is still someone who holds that type of committment to her marriage and children sacrosanct. I like that you have them Tessa/Carlos(esp. Tessa) holding back on initiating anything deeperand the half-remembered resemblances are used well as it this gives the characters and the plot time to aquire more depth, and build her internal emotional conflict. Sometimes the anticipation has a magic all of its own. It will be interesting when (hopefully not if) the truth is revealed. The words that Tessa uses to describe Severus are totally in keeping with the respect that she had for him as a student and when /if thier true identities are revealed should stand both of them in good stead, plus he knows he is falling/fallen in love with her. I suppose the truly Severus part of Carlos is strating to show - He falls for the unattainable (married in this case) and he is patient - very patient! I like how you have characterised his changing feelings for her - but hopefully the poor man wiill not have his heart broken (Please!) but we will have to wait and see won't we?I love the settings you have put them in I can almost taste the salt and feel the wind in my hair. The visit to Conchita's was awresome - i loved the hen laying the egg on the table. This truly adds depth to the story.Thankyou for such a great story. I am so, so pleased that it is finished. Nothing worse than to follow a story to find it abandoned by its author.Cheers.
Response from chivalric (Author of At the Beach)
That is certainly the longest review I ever got!*hugs you*Apart from saying thanks for your praise, I will try to answer a few of your questions.1. The tattoo. It is connected to the runed bracelet he wears, and I will tell you more about it in a later chapter. The dark mark is not gone, but hidden.2. She's hiding her body because she dislikes it in a way. For that, I will also give a more thorough explanation in a later chapter. It has to do with Ron, and the way their marriage went. She is a Trophy wife, in a way, and still, she has not totally lost herself. 3. This story is not finished yet. All in all, it will have twelve chapters plus an epilogue. I have no intention of abandoning it - so far, I have never abandoned a story. The next chapter will go into queue next week.Thank you so much for this review. I tried to paint a complexe picture, including the beach, the water, and the people living on that island. I wrote it in the summer, thus the slow, lazy pace. I am very glad you like it and look forward to your next review - if you decide to leave one, that is.
Response from chivalric (Author of At the Beach)
That is certainly the longest review I ever got!*hugs you*Apart from saying thanks for your praise, I will try to answer a few of your questions.1. The tattoo. It is connected to the runed bracelet he wears, and I will tell you more about it in a later chapter. The dark mark is not gone, but hidden.2. She's hiding her body because she dislikes it in a way. For that, I will also give a more thorough explanation in a later chapter. It has to do with Ron, and the way their marriage went. She is a Trophy wife, in a way, and still, she has not totally lost herself. 3. This story is not finished yet. All in all, it will have twelve chapters plus an epilogue. I have no intention of abandoning it - so far, I have never abandoned a story. The next chapter will go into queue next week.Thank you so much for this review. I tried to paint a complexe picture, including the beach, the water, and the people living on that island. I wrote it in the summer, thus the slow, lazy pace. I am very glad you like it and look forward to your next review - if you decide to leave one, that is.
It's kind of funny that we know that they knew each other, but they only think they remind the other of themselves.
Response from chivalric (Author of At the Beach)
*g* Thanks, dear. I wondered if it would work when I wrote it, they interacting, but not regognising each other. But then, ten years are a long time, and they both have changed physically as well as emotionally.
Response from chivalric (Author of At the Beach)
*g* Thanks, dear. I wondered if it would work when I wrote it, they interacting, but not regognising each other. But then, ten years are a long time, and they both have changed physically as well as emotionally.
Egads, he has the patience of a saint! I loved that he took her to his friend's home and the walk on the beach was romantic. Too bad he let the open opportunity pass - a nice soft caress? ah well.
Response from chivalric (Author of At the Beach)
He's been a spy and a Potions master, and thus, he knows a lot about patience. And he truly, really, wants her. If he rushes it, he thinks he'd destroy the small chance he has to get her into her bed. Nice and slow is the motto for this story. I hope you have the patience to wait ;-)
Response from chivalric (Author of At the Beach)
He's been a spy and a Potions master, and thus, he knows a lot about patience. And he truly, really, wants her. If he rushes it, he thinks he'd destroy the small chance he has to get her into her bed. Nice and slow is the motto for this story. I hope you have the patience to wait ;-)
I am wondering. Is it better or worse that they do not realize who the other is? Starting a new relationship -- without the old baggage causing memories and stereotypes to arise -- could be really freeing. Would knowing it is Severus make her more or less safe? Her security comes less from his character than from her own. It will ultimately be her choice that determines how close she gets to him. So, I guess, the less they know about the other, the better.
Response from chivalric (Author of At the Beach)
I think there wouldn't have been a relationship if they had recognised each other at first sight, not in this story. And I agree with you - it will be her choice in the end, her choice if something happens between them, if she returns to Ron or not. her choice which life she wants to live. Thanks so much for reviewing!
Response from chivalric (Author of At the Beach)
I think there wouldn't have been a relationship if they had recognised each other at first sight, not in this story. And I agree with you - it will be her choice in the end, her choice if something happens between them, if she returns to Ron or not. her choice which life she wants to live. Thanks so much for reviewing!
Ohhh! Very good I'm watching for this one. Very well done even if the characters are OOC, but why is her hair blonde and whispy?
Response from chivalric (Author of At the Beach)
I truly hope they are not too much OOC. I tried to portray them both ten years after the war, after a life very much different from the life they lived before. He would have learned to be happy, she would have realised that Ron is not the man for her. Her hair is blond because she wanted to try something new. IMO, blond was the ultimate change. I'll give an explanation in a later chapter. And many thanks for reviewing!
Response from LioSaoirse (Reviewer)
No! I thought they were well done in the ooc way. It fits even if they aren't adhering to canon characterization. Sad for Hermione to have to change her hair because I love Hermione's hair. It's her one thing that isn't in control!
Response from chivalric (Author of At the Beach)
*g* Wait a chapter or two. I love her hair, also, dear!
Response from chivalric (Author of At the Beach)
I truly hope they are not too much OOC. I tried to portray them both ten years after the war, after a life very much different from the life they lived before. He would have learned to be happy, she would have realised that Ron is not the man for her. Her hair is blond because she wanted to try something new. IMO, blond was the ultimate change. I'll give an explanation in a later chapter. And many thanks for reviewing!
Response from LioSaoirse (Reviewer)
No! I thought they were well done in the ooc way. It fits even if they aren't adhering to canon characterization. Sad for Hermione to have to change her hair because I love Hermione's hair. It's her one thing that isn't in control!
Response from chivalric (Author of At the Beach)
*g* Wait a chapter or two. I love her hair, also, dear!
i am really enjoying the slow way this is developing. thanks so much for the lovely update and i look forward to more.
Response from chivalric (Author of At the Beach)
I promise to keep the slow pace ;-)As usual, thanks for reviewing!
Response from chivalric (Author of At the Beach)
I promise to keep the slow pace ;-)As usual, thanks for reviewing!