Chapter 32

A/N: Thank you all for your awesome reviews! So you know, again, that the previous chapter, this chapter, and the next five chapters or so will have snippets from JKR's work directly. But don't worry. This is not HP part deux. Things will start to change bit by bit, as you can see now by Hermione's relationship with Crookshanks. Also, so you know, I am working hard to make sure no underage hanky-panky is going on! A clasp of a hand, kiss on the forehead, a hug, these are the kinds of things that will consist of Severus and Hermione's physical relationship. So my thanks to JKR for her fabulous fic that I borrowed from: Prisoner of Azkaban. Also, my eternal devotion to my betas, luvsev and WriterMerrin (who seriously needs to have an all-expense paid vacation to the island of her choice for putting up with all these crazy chapters)!

***

Hermione was furious. Harry was determined to find a way to sneak his way into Hogsmeade. Whenever she tried to talk to him about it, either he or Ron would blow up at her. Things were getting increasingly worse between her and Ron because of Crookshanks and Scabbers. Ron yelled at her constantly about her cat and that she should keep a better leash on him. Hermione defended herself as best as she could, but the truth was that Crookshanks knew there was something off with her and was continuously going off and doing his own thing. Hermione tried to talk with her familiar and explain, but it wasn't working. Besides, Hermione got a funny feeling that there was something Crooks needed to do. He took his stalking rather seriously, so she had decided to let him be. Unfortunately, Scabbers had also become restless and was constantly on the loose. Ron was furious and blamed Hermione for it all. She didn't know what was going on with his thrice-damned rat, nor did she care! So, their relationship continued to be strained and upsetting.

Halloween arrived, and a truce was made between them to go and see Hogsmeade. Hermione was especially excited to go because she had not been allowed to go to Hogsmeade with Severus and Lily. She had no one to sign for her slip, and Dumbledore had thought it would be best she not go far away from the castle.

They came back with wonderful treats, and Hermione had to admit she went a bit mad over the Chocoballs.

"They are filled with strawberry mousse and clotted cream, Harry...they were so delicious!"

"She brought back a whole bunch of sugar quills. You know how she likes to bite the tips of her quills, now she can get a sugar rush at the same time!" said Ron as he laughed.

Hermione stuck her tongue out at him. She actually had enjoyed herself. She was feeling the happiness of being an adolescent without all the heartache being an adult caused. She had enjoyed the butterbeer Ron had bought her and gorged herself on Chocoballs. It was a nice substitute for what was becoming a real problem: sexual frustration. The Chocoballs seemed to deaden the ache, but if she didn't get relief soon, she was going to march up to the Head Table and give Severus a damn good rogering right in front of everyone.

She was having the hardest time keeping her emotions under wraps. She never remembered feeling this way the last time she was fourteen, but then she had been a traumatized girl who had almost been raped by a grown man and was having sexual interludes with her best girlfriend. Perhaps that was why she never felt so amorous before: everything was already being taken care of, or she had suppressed the need because of the trauma. She did recall near meltdowns when she and Severus were trying to keep their hands off each other, but she handled it all well with masturbation. Why was this time so different?

She would have to think about it later. They all were heading back to the tower after the Halloween Feast, and there was a terrible backup.

"What's going on?" bellowed Ron.

Then Hermione heard Percy the Prat ranting on about being Head Boy and for everyone to get out of his way. Finally, Dumbledore was there, and Hermione managed to squeeze through to look at what all the fuss was about.

"Oh, my..." she breathed as she grabbed Harry's arm. There was the Fat Lady's Portrait at the entrance of Gryffindor tower, but the portrait had been slashed, and the Fat Lady was gone.

Peeves swirled around overhead and started taunting Dumbledore. After a couple of exchanges, Peeves said, "Nasty temper he's got, that Sirius Black."

Hermione grabbed onto Harry for dear life.

"Hermione!" he whined. "You're choking me."

Hermione felt the world was falling apart. She held onto Harry and whispered, "Please, Harry, be careful. You just don't know what he's capable of!"

Harry pulled her off of him and said, "Hermione, I know, we've talked about this! Sirius Black was Voldemort's right-hand man and lost everything. Now, he wants to kill me in hopes of getting Voldemort back. I'll be okay, Hermione, I will," he said earnestly.

"But Harry," she said in a choked voice as her eyes darted around her, "he got into the castle! How could he? There is no Apparating or Disapparating in Hogwarts. This is extremely dangerous. He got to our common room door!"

Harry hugged her. Hermione was shaking and starting to cry. "Hermione," he said as he cupped her tear-blotched face. "I will be alright. Dumbledore is here. He won't let Black hurt me, okay?"

Hermione nodded and hugged him again. "I know, Harry, just let me hug you a bit more, okay?" she asked.

"Okay," he said, a little exasperation in his tone. "Geez, Hermione, you're like Ron's mum or something!" he joked.

Hermione laughed as she let him go. "You're like the brother I never had, Harry. I like taking care of you," she whispered.

Harry gave her a side hug. "I love you, Hermione," he said.

She burst into tears. "I love you too, Harry," she replied as she sobbed.

***

All of Hogwarts had to go sleep in the Great Hall for the night. Dumbledore and McGonagall had conjured up hundreds of sleeping bags for everyone. In the rush by everyone to get safely into the Great Hall, Hermione was suddenly yanked back into an alcove behind a tapestry.

"How touching, Hermione. Feeling a bit emotional about Potter, are we?" asked a furious-looking Severus Snape.

Hermione was in extreme hormonal overdrive. She found herself leaning into him. He's so tall. It's been so long.

"Hermione!" His voice cracked like a whip. "Don't do that again," he warned as he kept her at a safe distance from him.

"I can't help it, Severus!" she begged. "I'm going crazy or something. I need you badly," she whispered as she ran her hands up his chest towards his face.

He grabbed her hands and said, "Hermione, I need you to listen. Please. Now, focus!" he ordered.

She looked at him as he pleaded his case. "I know it has to be Lupin sneaking that filth in here. He never believed the evidence when it was staring him in the face, and I doubt he'd turn Black away if confronted by him. Lupin was never strong enough to stand up to him," he said hurriedly.

"Tell Potter to stay as far away from Lupin as possible! Can you do that for me?" he asked.

"Yes," she agreed.

"Now, go," he ordered.

She gave a muted scream of frustration as she bolted out of the alcove. Now she was in a right mess. She was randy and mad as hell!

***

Soon after, Severus stepped in to substitute for Remus. He was a right bastard and even called Hermione an "insufferable know-it-all" in front of everyone. After class, she stayed behind to give him a piece of her mind.

"How dare you!" she seethed after the door had closed behind the last student. "It's bad enough you have half the girls in Gryffindor saying you're so vile you need to get laid; now you deliberately tried to out Remus! How could you?"

Severus turned on her. "I have a job to do, Miss Granger. You seem to be the one all cozy with Potter, making sure he's happy and content. So, have you found him to be a suitable replacement?" he accused her.

"What do you want from me?" she screamed. "I'm ready to lose my damn mind. Between Harry's recklessness and Sirius Black's determination, I don't know what to do anymore. And you're no help. You won't let me get within an arm's length of you unless it's to inform me of your crazy werewolf fears!"

His eyes flew open wide, and he pointed a finger at Hermione. "That's just what Lily would have said! She never took me seriously, and neither do you. I think this De-Aging Potion has muddled your mind," he spat.

Hermione's face fell slack. She observed how far apart they were physically. She remained by her desk while he remained up where the professor's desk stood. It seemed impossible to close the chasm between them. "I can't believe this is happening between us," she whispered as she let her bag drop to the ground. "I thought everything would be fine. We'd just wait until I was sixteen, and we'd fall right back to where we were. All the dreams we had of having babies and living in Spinner's End, being happy..." her throat caught, "...it's over, isn't it?" she whispered.

"No!" he cried out in pain. He strode to her and took her into his arms and held her. "I love you, I love you, I love you," he whispered. "Never say that again, never think it again. I can't stand this. It is torture. I hate living like this." He felt her arms and cupped her face. "It's you, but you are a girl. I see you, and I want you, and then all I can think of is..." His face grew dark and ugly as he released her.

"Tell me," Hermione urged him.

"I think sometimes perhaps I could kiss you, just hold you near me, but then I keep seeing my father...I feel like a pedophile. It's just easier for you to hate me, to stay away until it's appropriate."

Hermione felt horrible for him. Of course, he would be feeling like complete shite! He looks into the mirror each day and sees his father staring back at him, just like the day I had met his father! Hermione recalled that day. She had been taken aback, thinking there had stood Professor Snape, just in really smelly clothes. Now, I'm around the age I had been then, even a few months younger, and all he can think is...'I'm becoming my father!'

"Severus," she said as she touched his face. "I don't want you to think for one moment you are a pedophile. It's me, the woman inside, that you really want. Also, you grew up with me. You were starting to show an interest in me when we were young. I promise you, I love you, and I will take your warnings seriously. Just remember, I can't make Harry abide the rules, but I'll do my best. I also swear to you, I haven't replaced you. I'm a virgin."

Severus looked at her strangely.

"Yes," she said as she rolled her eyes. "I checked. I figured if my teeth could grow back, why not my hymen?" she said wryly.

She heard him chuckle. "I'm sorry," he said as he began to laugh. "It's just too funny," he said as he threw his head back and laughed.

Hermione laughed as well. This was just what she missed. If she could connect with him like this and keep it alive, they could make it.

They sobered then, and she placed her hands into his. "Harry and I are friends, like brother and sister. Actually, I feel quite maternal towards him, but he'd never understand if he knew the story, and I refuse to tell him about my past. Our past," she whispered.

"Let's just get through this year and focus on keeping Harry safe from Black," Severus offered.

"Agreed," replied Hermione.

She took her leave of him and went to see Madam Pomfrey. She really needed to get her hormones figured out.

***

She went into the infirmary, and Madam Pomfrey caught her. "Hermione, my dear," she said as she hugged her. "How are you? I've been telling Albus that you need to have a complete physical examination!" she chided.

"Well," Hermione said as she lowered her head nervously. "That's why I'm here. I need to talk to you about my hormones, I think."

After Hermione explained to the mediwitch what was happening, the woman chuckled. "Oh, my dear. You are actually in your thirties, and on top of it, you are a teenager physiologically. However, our bodies have memory cells. I'm afraid you are probably the most hormonal female ever known in creation." She left her to retrieve some potions.

She came back smiling and looking optimistic. "Here is a special potion for women who are experiencing fluctuations hormonally in their mid-thirties. This should get you back on track. Now, I usually don't tell tales, but since you are Severus' fiancée, he's been having a horrible time of it. Before you arrived, those six years had been hell on earth. He had been a raging alcoholic. Albus had to take him in hand, and we thought he would lose his very mind. Now that you're back, it's even more confusing! My dear girl, there is just nothing to be done but let nature run its course. When you turn sixteen, I expect you to come and see me for your Contraception Potion," she said with a warning look.

"Yes, Ma'am," Hermione replied with a blush.

"Now, let's get your teeth fixed, shall we? I recall you were looking different after I performed that teeth-shortening spell on you."

"Oh, yes, please!" Hermione begged.

When she left, Hermione had her hormone potion and the teeth she was used to having. Things were starting to look up.

***

Hermione was crying next to Harry's bed. The Dementors had entered onto the Quidditch pitch, disrupted the Gryffindor vs. Hufflepuff game, and attacked Harry. It had been terrifying, and Albus was enraged. After the crowd had left, Madam Pomfrey had let Hermione stay and talk to Harry.

"Hermione," he whispered as thick tears started to stream down his face while she held his hand tightly. "I heard my mum screaming. She was begging and crying to make Voldemort stop. Then she screamed something so dreadful and then it was silent. I think that was the sound she made when she died."

"Oh, Harry," Hermione whispered as she cried, hanging her head into her handkerchief. She felt awful. She had known Lily, loved her, lived with her in Gryffindor, sat at her family's table, and had even been her lover. Now her son was in pain. Hermione took a tissue and wiped Harry's face.

"It's going to be okay, Harry. Trust me," she whispered. "I'm sorry, so sorry," she said as she cried again.

***

She and Severus decided it would be best for her to stay at Hogwarts for Christmas. It would be better to watch over Harry that way. There was one final Hogsmeade trip before everyone left, and Ron and Hermione promised Harry another bunch of sweets to bring back to give him.

She and Ron had been in Honeydukes trying to figure out what to get Harry when, all of a sudden, he was there behind them. Hermione nearly lost it when she saw him and demanded to know how he had gotten there. Harry told them about the Marauder's Map, and Hermione had to start counting to ten to stop herself from completely going insane and starting to scream.

Instead, she just kept her curses in her head. Damn you, James and Sirius! Ohhh, Remus, just you wait until I get my hands on you. Oh, my gosh! If Harry has the map, how did he get his hands on it? Is this another trap of Sirius'?

"Harry," she began in her bossiest voice. "You have to turn that map in to McGonagall! You promise me here and now you will never sneak into Hogsmeade again!"

"Are you mad?" exclaimed Ron. "What gets me is that Fred and George didn't hand it over to their own brother."

Hermione rolled her eyes at Ron. Sometimes he was just so thick! "Ronald, there are more important things to consider than this map," she snapped at him.

"Harry?" he asked.

"Are you going to turn me in?" he challenged her defiantly.

Hermione sighed in exasperation. "Of course not," she snapped.

Harry breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh, good. If I hand this in, I'll have to explain to McGonagall where I got it from, and I can't to that to Fred and George," replied Harry.

"Harry," Hermione said slowly. "You have no idea how Black got into Hogwarts. As far as you know, the very tunnels you are using may be the ones he's using to get inside! Do you want to meet up with him in a dark tunnel unawares?" she said hotly.

"Um, Hermione," Ron said as he coughed. "Have you even read the latest notice?"

"What?" she turned to him, confused.

Ron pointed at a notice posted on Honeydukes front door. Hermione read it carefully. Dementors will be patrolling the streets after sundown... complete shopping before then.

Hermione was still exasperated. "Look, Harry, you are not to be in Hogsmeade at all! And this is not sundown. Black could be here right now as far as you know," she reasoned.

"Come on, Hermione!" said Ron tiredly. "Harry deserves a break. Let's just enjoy the day," he begged.

Harry, though, was determined to get a straight answer from Hermione. "Are you going to turn me in, Hermione?" he demanded.

"No...of course not...but, Harry..."

"Come on, Harry," interrupted Ron. "Let's go to Zonko's. They've got cool stuff there. Then we'll all go for a butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks and call it a day, okay?"

"Fine," Hermione acquiesced.

They made their rounds together and finally came to the Three Broomsticks. They made sure to keep Harry hidden as they nursed their butterbeers, trying to get warm. Soon, though, the door opened, and Hermione's eyes bulged from their sockets. "It's Flitwick, Hagrid, McGonagall, and Fudge!" she hissed. She muttered a spell and moved a Christmas tree over slightly to block the view, although they could still hear the conversation.

"Harry, so help me," Hermione warned him. "Keep your head under the table, and deal with it."

They sat quietly as they overheard Rosmerta talking to Fudge and the professors about the Dementor problem. Soon, the conversation turned to Sirius Black. Hermione closed her eyes and hoped they wouldn't say anything that would upset Harry.

Rosmerta was clicking her tongue. "Of all the people to go over to the dark side, I never would have thought Sirius Black," she said sadly.

"That's not the worst of it," whispered Fudge. "They were best friends all right, he and James Potter, but not only did he stand up as Potter's best man, he also was named Harry's godfather upon his birth! Can you just imagine the torture that boy would feel knowing the man his parents named to look after him in case of their deaths was the one who betrayed them and had them murdered?"

Hermione was torn. Not only were she and Ron struggling with an enraged Harry to keep low, she was also furious that she had been kept from that information and that Harry had been kept from it as well!

She listened more after she swiftly kicked Harry somewhere hard.

"...James and Lily knew he had been after them. Dumbledore had his own spies of course, who insisted that they go into hiding. Dumbledore was wary of using Black, he even offered to be the Potters' Secret Keeper himself, but they refused. Then again, You-Know-Who had his own spies, and he was tipped off."

Rosmerta gasped. "Dumbledore suspected Black?"

Fudge sighed. "All I know was that he was sure that someone close to the Potters had been telling You-Know-Who about the Potters' movements for a nearly a year. Barely a week had passed after the Fidelius Charm had been cast that they were finally murdered."

Hermione and Ron sat frozen in silence and fear as they continued to listen to the professors talk about Sirius Black and Harry's parents. Hermione felt a huge void had been filled. She had known Sirius was no good the day she had met him. She recalled vividly when she told Lily that she would rue the day she ever met Sirius Black. She was furious. Why had Harry never been told? She could have done something, anything to point the way for Dumbledore. But whom was she kidding? That had been the destiny for James and Lily all along. They had to die so that Harry could defeat Voldemort. Still, she was seething. They all would answer to her about this omission.

After they had all left, Hermione, Ron, and Harry sat in silence for a great while before finally heading back to the castle. Hermione knew Harry had to be bursting with questions and would demand answers. She only hoped they would be wise enough to be honest with him about the truth.

She left Harry and Ron alone and went to see McGonagall. She knocked loudly on the door, and she answered with a concerned look on her face. "Hermione?" she asked. "What is wrong?"

"Oh, a great many things, Minerva. I want to see you, Remus, and Severus in Albus' office right now," she said sharply.

"What has happened?" the older witch asked darkly.

"Not here," she replied quietly. Then she went off to wait by Dumbledore's gargoyle. Momentarily, Minerva met her, and they went up. Albus welcomed them courteously, and Minerva Flooed Severus and Remus, asking for their presence in the headmaster's office.

When they were all assembled, Hermione began. "Firstly, I want to say that despite your warnings and watchful eyes, Harry has managed to slip into Hogsmeade where he surprised me and Ron at Honeydukes. We had a mild argument of which I will repeat to Remus and Severus at another time.

"Imagine my surprise when we were sitting in the Three Broomsticks and overheard a conversation about James, Lily, and Sirius. It was revealed that not only had Sirius Black been named Harry's godfather, but he had also been their Secret Keeper."

They all looked at her with varied degrees of remorse and embarrassment. "How could you keep that from me? I was here! I was here all this time...I could have done something! All I had to go on was that Sirius Black was a murderer...period! I had no idea he was the Secret Keeper! And I certainly didn't know that he had been named Harry's godfather."

"Look," she said as she went to the door. "I have a lot of things to smooth over with Harry. He's distraught and confused. And I'm beginning to think there might be more to this story than meets the eye. Why would a man who was You-Know-Who's right-hand man want Harry Potter killed? Wouldn't he want to subdue him and keep him to deliver to wherever You-Know-Who is hiding out now?

"Or perhaps we have been wrong this whole time, and Sirius Black is innocent like Remus has always contended."

Minerva tried to speak. "Hermione, I know this was not an ideal way to pass information to you..."

Hermione laughed. "Ideal? Let me make something clear. I will inform you of what Harry's doing, and I will be clear about everything I know. From now on I expect the same consideration. I may look fourteen, but I am not in my mind. Do not treat me like a child again!"

She stormed out and went back to face Harry.