Chapter 8

A/N: My gratitude and thanks to WriterMerrin and luvsev for their hard work, making each chapter readable. Please read and review!

***

After the Christmas holidays, everything came out about what had happened to Mary MacDonald. Lily was furious! She refused to speak to Snape for two whole months. Hermione thought Lily was being extremely cruel and tried to reason with her. Lily, though, was stubborn as an ox. She made it perfectly clear that she wanted Snape to suffer for the choices he had made.

With Lily being on the outs with Snape, it meant that Hermione had to be on the outs as well. Hermione had to meet with him secretly to reassure him that Lily hadn't gone off and started dating Potter or was going to hate him forever. Hermione reassured him that he just had to wait it out, and she would come around.

In the meantime, Lily remained as carefree and happy as ever. She had her group of friends, but Hermione remained her favorite. When Valentine's Day came around, she refused to even accept the chocolate Snape bought for her every year. He was devastated. Lily had no guilt whatsoever for cutting him off. Instead, she said she wanted to spend the holiday with Hermione. It had been a while since they had been intimate, but Hermione knew she was desperately missing the adoration she had always counted on from Snape.

It was a difficult night. Hermione stole glances at Snape and tried to reassure him. Later, Hermione slipped away from Lily for a bit and spoke with Snape alone.

"I know you are about to have kittens, but trust me, Snape, she's not interested in anyone else. In fact, I think she's really missing you!" she said reassuringly.

She rubbed his arm as he tried to gain composure. "Will you be with her tonight, Granger?" he asked hopefully.

"Yes, Snape. I will be with her all night. It's going to be a girls' night, and I promise, I will try to get her to warm up towards you, okay?"

"All right," he muttered.

He looked so dejected and sad. Hermione wanted to tell him something to give him hope, but she couldn't build up something she didn't know would happen. She wished she could tell him that Lily wanted him to be the first to touch her or something to lift his mood, but she couldn't.

"I promise, I'll watch over her and make sure Potter stays away," she said with a smile.

"Thanks, Granger," he said stiffly. "You are a nice person."

"Well, thanks, Snape!" she said a little flirty.

A look crossed his face, and his mood became dark again.

"Hermione!" Hermione and Snape both turned to face a shocked and upset Lily. "What are you two doing?" she demanded.

Hermione recovered quickly and went to Lily's side. "Lily, give him a chance, he's so sad. He misses you!"

Lily gave an apologetic smile. "Don't wait up for me, love," she said softly.

***

That evening, Mary had gone off with Peter somewhere, and Lily was with Snape, so Hermione had the room to herself. She wasn't in any mood to go to bed soon, so she took a walk. She was just returning to Gryffindor tower when she heard heated voices.

"I can't believe that bastard! You're not going to let that slimy git get away with it are you?" Hermione heard a voice say. She walked cautiously forward and saw Sirius Black and James Potter in a heated discussion.

She walked up to them slowly, and they turned, both looking guilty.

"What's going on?" she asked nonchalantly.

"None of your business...traitor!" Sirius growled.

Hermione set her jaw and glared at him. "Would you care to qualify that statement?" she asked testily.

James put his hand on Sirius' chest. "No, mate, just let it go!" he said.

"NO!" he shouted. "What kind of Gryffindor are you anyway? You practically threw Lily and Snivellus together tonight!"

"I don't know what you're talking about, Sirius! You know they are friends. They had a falling out, and now they are making up!"

"You mean making IT!" he retorted.

Hermione slapped him hard across the face. "You have a dirty mind!" She stalked past them and went up to her room.

She fumed for a long time and then finally got ready for bed. She was worn out and exhausted. Lily came in just as she was settling down.

Hermione bolted upright. "Well?" she asked breathlessly.

Lily was blushing. She practically ran to Hermione's bed and began to gush.

"Oh, Hermione, it was wonderful. Severus was just incredible! He is so talented." She giggled. "He was so excited that he nearly came in his pants when I took off my bra!"

Hermione's eyes went wide. "Did you have sex with him?" she breathed.

"No, we just fooled around. Oh, Hermione, the things he did with his tongue! He was just like I thought he would be." Her eyes were bright as she got changed for bed.

"Hermione, he gave me a love bite on my breast!" she said exasperatedly.

Hermione's eyebrows almost went up into her hairline. She started to laugh uncontrollably. Lily started laughing too. Hermione's eyes were watering. "I-I take it he's a breast man?" she asked as she gulped for air.

Lily giggled.

"Was he a good kisser?" Hermione asked.

"I think so," Lily said. "However, I only have you to compare him to!" She laughed. "He was so reverent, as if he was worshiping me. His touch was so delicate."

She finished dressing and lay down languidly on her bed. "Oh, Hermione, he is so huge! I was right about his nose." She stopped talking and looked at Hermione guiltily. "I probably shouldn't have said that. I mean, I should keep that private, shouldn't I?"

Hermione was nervous. "Well, I don't know. I know girls talk about their men, but Snape is so paranoid about people making fun of him, perhaps you shouldn't unless he tells you it's okay."

Lily barked out a laugh. "Fat chance!"

She turned and looked at Hermione again seriously. "Now, what has been going on with Remus?" Lily asked slyly, drawing Hermione out of her thoughts. "I saw him looking at you tonight! I swear, Hermione, you are going to be as big chested as I am! Remus looked at you like he would love nothing better than to tear your dress off!"

Yeah, and devour me like a wolf! Hermione thought facetiously.

Hermione thought of the grown man on the Hogwarts Express battling that Dementor, and she felt funny inside. "I don't think so, Lily," she whispered. "Remus isn't my type."

"Who is your type? Sirius Black?" she teased her again.

"I think not!" Hermione said heatedly.

"Oohh! Do I detect a flicker of something? Sirius has got you all hot and bothered, hasn't he?" she prodded.

"No," Hermione said calmly, and she lay down on her bed. "He and I just had words tonight, is all."

"What about?" she asked concerned.

"Nothing... everything... look, Sirius and I don't get on together is all," Hermione answered.

Hermione lay in bed for a long time, thinking about Snape and Lily. What had happened? Had she inadvertently tampered with time? What if Lily marries him? Will there be no Harry Potter? Hermione felt very, very worried and, for the first time, was afraid for her true future.

***

Spring came and with it a change that disturbed everything that had been going along calmly. Lily and Snape were not together "officially," but they were physically. It seemed Lily was returning to the common room every night with a dreamy look on her face. Hermione felt guilty. She knew who had put that look on her face and how he did it. When the end of April came around, Lily told Hermione she and Snape still had not had sex, but she was thinking about letting him.

"He asks me, Hermione. It's so cute; he almost has a whine in his tone. I know it's cruel. It must be awful being a boy. Their stiffies get so hard, and it seems painful."

Hermione's face was practically purple. She didn't know anything about penises. She remembered the only time she ever had a close encounter with a penis, and it had been horrific. Hermione wondered if she would ever find anyone she'd fancy.

Remus had come around, talking and trying to get close to her. He was really nice, but she just didn't feel right. She couldn't get the picture of the grown-up Remus Lupin out of her head. She had finally told him she just didn't fancy him, but that she wanted him to be her friend.

"Is there someone else you fancy, Hermione?" he had asked timidly.

"No, Remus," Hermione had said as she sighed. "I wish I felt what I want to feel. I want someone of my own; I just haven't felt the attraction."

"Well, maybe, you might feel differently later, Hermione. Just don't forget me and write me off forever, okay?" he had asked shyly.

"Okay, Remus. I won't say 'no' for forever, just right now."

He had walked away happy and with a spring in his step. Hermione had wondered if she had made a huge mistake by capitulating and giving him hope.

Soon after Lily and Severus started their relationship, it seemed everything was going wrong. There was a lot of tension in the air, and the fighting between Snape and the Marauders was getting quite bad. Every time Hermione looked at James, he seemed to be following either Lily or Snape with his eyes. He wasn't very good at hiding his jealousy.

One morning, Lily, Hermione, and Mary went down to the Great Hall for breakfast, and all over the room were pictures of Snape in the form of Wanted Posters.

Lily and Hermione looked at one of them, and it said,

Severus Snape: Wanted for Excessive Wanking

Hermione closed her eyes and shook her head slowly as the entire hall burst into laughter. When Snape came in, he took one look at the posters, and without blinking, he pointed his wand at James Potter and blasted him fifteen feet away from where he stood, crashing him into a far wall, with a brilliantly executed Stupefy.

Lily was furious at James and Sirius, and Hermione was angry with Lupin for not sticking up for Snape and at the same time furious at the Slytherins for not coming to Snape's aid.

Then it happened.

For a long time now, Snape had his suspicions about Remus being a werewolf. Lily knew about it and so did Hermione. Lily had never really taken Snape's accusation seriously until one night the common room was abuzz with a rumor that Sirius Black tried to kill Severus Snape and that James Potter tried to stop him.

Mary MacDonald swore up and down it was the truth, that Peter had told her the whole story. There was some bloodthirsty animal that had wandered its way onto the Hogwarts grounds from the Forbidden Forest, and Sirius knew about it and lured Snape there get him killed by the animal. It was only because James risked his life to save Snape that he was even alive!

Lily nearly went nearly blind with anger. Hermione was weak with shock. This must have been what Harry said first year about Snape owing his father a life debt! Hermione went straight to the infirmary first thing in the morning to see Snape. He was white with fear and rage all at once.

"Where is Lily?" he demanded.

"She's with James and Sirius. I don't know if there will be anything left of Sirius to bury if Lily has her way," she joked.

"What about Potter?" he asked angrily.

Hermione blinked in confusion and shock. "I-I don't know! We were told James was the one who saved your life. Lily was so grateful," she answered.

Snape was shaking with rage. Hermione was frightened. "Snape, please, calm down!" she begged. She saw a twitch near his mouth. She knew that twitch. She'd seen him twitch like that whenever he got really angry with Harry. Oh my! It's starting...and I had nothing to do with it! This is all Sirius' doing!

She watched Snape as thick tears started to roll down his face. He turned from Hermione, curled up into a ball, and sobbed.

Hermione pulled the curtain closed around them and went to Snape' side. She knelt on the floor as she had when she'd stayed with him over the summer and he'd had his night terrors. She stroked his hair and forehead and told him it was all going to be all right. Then something happened that was so strange, she knew things had changed between she and the boy who would become her Potions master forever.

"I can't lose her, Hermione. I love her," he cried.

Hermione wrapped her arms around his shoulders. "Oh, I know you do, I know. She's been so happy, S-Severus. She walks into the common room, and her face is so bright and dreamy...I know it's you that makes her feel that way. She told me."

"Really, Hermione?" he whispered. "Do I really make her happy?"

"For a long time now, Lily has thought long and hard about going to this next step with you. She said she always thought it should be you. She even once said that she'd probably marry you, and then she and I would be best girlfriends, I'd get married, and then we'd raise our kids together," she said excitedly.

"Don't lie to me, Hermione. Please," he begged.

"I wouldn't lie to you. I swear, she said those things."

He released a breath. "Lily will be mine!" he said breathlessly. Hermione saw a hard glint in his eye. It frightened her.

"You'd best go, Hermione. I expect Lily will be here soon," he said importantly.

"All right, Severus," she whispered as she left him.

***

Hermione never really heard the fight, just raised voices. She saw Lily's hands gesticulating in the air, verbally thrashing Severus as they stood on the hill looking over Hagrid's hut. Then he was shouting at her. It ended with a calming of voices and a dream-like state that came over Severus' face. However, Lily was far from happy.

Later that night, Lily came back into the common room and went right up to their room. Hermione followed her, and she said, "I'm really not in the mood, Hermione."

Hermione ignored her words. "I saw you and Snape arguing tonight, Lily. Please talk to me," she begged.

Lily turned around and said, "I can't believe this! I thought he would change, you know? I thought he loved me! I confronted him about what Mulciber did to Mary, and you know what he said? 'It was just a bit of fun, like a joke or something!' I said, 'Severus, it is Dark magic,' and he just couldn't see past it!'"

Hermione was reaching her limit. Lily just didn't see the bigger picture. She was one of the lucky ones. She didn't know about Laura Danbary in Ravenclaw or Sylvie Johnson of Hufflepuff. Those were the real horror stories. Severus kept her coddled and petted. Now, she was lashing out at her very own protector!

"Lily," she said calmly. "There are things that you don't know. Things that you may not understand because you don't see the big picture."

Lily looked at her coldly. "Oh, I see the big picture all right. You want to make excuses for Severus too. Why? He's never liked you."

Hermione took a deep breath. "Lily, please don't ruin your friendship with Snape over this. Believe me, things are not always what they appear to be!"

Lily was far too angry to listen. "It's not so hard for James and Sirius, though, is it? I don't see them going around casting Dark magic on people or approving of those who do!" she yelled.

Hermione put her hands on her hips. "Perhaps, Lily, it is because they don't have it as difficult as Snape does. Gryffindors accept James and Sirius. They have a home here. Snape doesn't have a home! You said it yourself a long time ago that he had no one, just you. It's still true. What do you think would happen to him if he just openly sided with you, James, and Sirius? Forget the fact that Sirius is so blind that he can't even comprehend seeing anything remotely good in Snape. The fact remains that if Snape were to express his true feelings, he probably would be beaten within an inch of his life, and then the minute he walked out of Hogwarts, he would be killed on sight. Don't you see, Lily? There are lines being drawn. You've heard about Lord Voldemort. You know he is recruiting. Snape has to be very careful, especially cautious since he is just a half-blood himself."

Lily calmed down after that and sat on her bed. Mary came inside, and Hermione waved her hand to let them be alone. Hermione sat next to Lily and took her hand in hers. Lily turned to Hermione and whispered, "What am I going to do?" she whispered.

Hermione held her hand tightly in hers and said, "You are going to go home this summer and get away from all this. You are going to talk to Snape when you can, and you are going to listen and trust him. He loves you, Lily."

"I just don't know if it's enough, Hermione," she said softly.

Hermione sighed. I know, Lily, I know.