Chapter 12

A/N: I have to give special recognition to WriterMerrin for working her tail off to get this to me in a timely manner. You are wonderful. And to the ever-constant luvsev, you are a great cheerleader! I want to thank everyone for the awesome reviews. I enjoy and cherish each and every one!

***

Hermione stayed with Severus for a long time. So long, in fact, they missed dinner. Hermione went back to Gryffindor tower exhausted and weary. When she walked into the dormitory, Lily was sitting at the window near her bed.

"Lily?" Hermione called out to her.

She didn't turn her head from the window. "Where were you, Hermione? I haven't seen you in hours. I needed you."

Hermione didn't know what to say.

Lily whipped her head around and looked at her accusingly. "Where were you?" she demanded.

Hermione decided to be honest as she could. She didn't want Lily knowing she had been with Severus all this time. She couldn't handle any more drama today. So, she decided to omit that part and focus on where she had been during the confrontation. "Lily, I was with Avery. He cornered me, and I couldn't leave."

"That ruddy bastard!" she breathed. "Are you okay? What did he do to you?" She grabbed Hermione and hugged her fiercely. "You can tell me, Hermione. What happened?" she pressed.

"Lily, he made me watch what happened today. He had me at wand point...I-I couldn't get away."

Lily looked at her sadly. "Then you saw what happened," she said sadly.

Hermione nodded as she sat on Lily's bed next to her.

Lily burst into tears. "Oh, Hermione! Severus called me a Mudblood! Right in front of everyone...how could he? How could he hurt me so badly? After everything we've been through. I can't make excuses for him anymore. He's made his choice!"

She wiped her tears and blew her nose. She looked up at Hermione and gave a little laugh. "I never told you, but we were going to have sex. All I wanted was for him to say he would publicly declare that he wasn't with those rotters who want to be like Voldemort! He wouldn't, Hermione. I just didn't mean enough to him!" she raged.

Hermione kept her temper under control. "Lily, perhaps it wasn't a question of 'wouldn't,' but rather 'couldn't.'"

"NO! No, Hermione!" she declared firmly. "I refuse to believe it. We all have choices. He made a choice, and he wanted them and their sick, twisted, and perverse idea about what makes a true witch or wizard. Everything I am, they hate, and he has embraced their lies. I'm through with Severus Snape! Through!" She faced the window and sobbed.

Hermione sighed as she rubbed her head. This isn't good! she thought. She got up to change for bed when Mary came into the room.

"Hermione, Severus Snape is outside the door of the common room. He wants to talk to you," she said.

Lily shot Hermione an angry look.

Hermione had to smooth this over before the redhead really blew up. "Lily," she said calmly as she put her robes back on, "I'm going to see what this is all about and let you know. He probably wants to apologize and needs to test the waters, okay?"

Lily huffed as she crossed her arms around her chest. "You can tell him from me that I have no intention of talking with him. Not now or ever!" she said venomously.

Hermione sighed and gave Mary a sad look. She went down to the common room and walked out the door, closing it behind her. Severus was standing there, anxious and terrified.

"Please, Hermione, I need to speak with Lily, like you said. I need to apologize. She has to know I didn't mean it. It was just a test!"

Hermione put her hands on his shoulders. "Calm down, Severus," she said lowly. "You need to be patient. She's in a right state. She's been crying and carrying on...she may not be in the correct frame of mind for this right now." Hermione gave him a pleading look. There was no way she was going to tell him the message Lily had just given her.

Severus was undeterred. "No, Hermione. I must see her. I need to explain! I swear I will sleep out here all night if I have to...I love her. I can't lose her!"

Hermione swallowed and looked at him soberly. "All right, Severus. I'll tell her. But I want you to promise me...Severus, look into my eyes! Promise me that if things do not go as you hope, you will meet me in the Astronomy tower at midnight. There will be none of this sleeping out here in front of the common room door! You will only anger the Slytherins and just give James and Sirius a perfect opportunity to hex you again! You can threaten it, but don't you dare do it! Now, promise me!" she demanded.

"Okay, Hermione, I promise," he said as he stood trembling.

Hermione watched him as she went back inside. He was twitching like mad; the desperation emitting from him was potent. Hermione hoped against hope she could make Lily see reason.

She went back into the dorm, and Lily was already changed and reading in bed.

"Lily?" Hermione called. The redhead ignored her. Oh no, she isn't! Hermione seethed. She walked over and ripped the book out of her hands and crossed her arms, glaring at the witch.

"Give me my book back, Hermione!" she warned.

"No!" Hermione yelled. "Severus is down in front of the common room door, and he refuses to leave. He's going to spend the night out there if you don't talk to him!"

"Mary?" Lily called out sweetly. "Do be a lamb, and tell Severus to get away from the door before I have James Potter hex him into oblivion."

Mary hurriedly put on her robe and walked out. Lily lay down and snuggled into her pillow.

"How can you be so cruel?" Hermione breathed.

She sat up in bed, furious. "Me! Me? How dare you! He called me a Mudblood in front of the whole school. He said it himself; 'I don't need help from Mudbloods like her.' That probably goes for you as well."

"Lily, you know how prideful he is. You embarrassed him by forcing James to release him from that curse, and then James had to rub it in his face! He lost it, Lily. He was pushed into a corner, and he lashed out. I'm not saying what he said was right, but can't you show some compassion?" she shouted.

Mary came back and said, "That's it, Lily. He's fucking insane. You are going to have to deal with him, or so help me, he's going to have a complete meltdown! Look, I've done my bit, goodnight!"

Lily and Hermione had never seen Mary so indignant before. The witch went straight to bed and had nothing more to say to either of them. Lily and Hermione stared at each other for a while before Lily whipped back her blanket and put on her robe, grumbling and cursing under her breath the entire time. Hermione sat on the edge of her bed. All she could do was wait for what she was sure was going to be a terrible outcome.

***

Lily came back to the room crying and in a rage. She slammed the door and let out a frustrated shriek. She ran to Hermione and hugged her.

"It's over. He couldn't even deny it that he's with them. Avery and Mulciber! Those damn arseholes! He's chosen them, Hermione. It's all over," she cried.

Hermione looked at the clock. It was fifteen minutes to midnight. She had to sneak out and find Severus. She didn't know how she was going to get past Lily. This was a nightmare!

She guided Lily to her bed and told her to sleep. "Stay with me, Hermione. I need you," Lily whispered as she clung to Hermione's hand.

"Lily," Hermione said nervously. "There is a very desperate and frightened boy out there who may do himself harm. I respect that you have ended things with Severus. However, his frame of mind is not stable. I must go to him."

"Why?" she cried out. "He hates us...we're Mudbloods, remember?"

"Lily," Hermione said. "I'll be back as soon as I can." She went to Mary and woke her. "Please watch over Lily until I return, okay?"

Mary nodded and went to console Lily. Hermione knew that by leaving now, she might be shutting the door on her relationship with Lily forever. Well, if that's what it will take to get Lily to fall into Potter's arms and fulfill her destiny, so be it. This wasn't Hermione's timeline; this wasn't her reality.

"Hermione," a voice said softly.

Hermione nearly jumped out of her skin. She walked cautiously into the common room, and there, sitting quietly in a chair, quite alone, was James Potter.

"James! You nearly gave me a heart-attack!" she hissed at him.

"Sorry," he said as he grinned. "I know you are going to see him, aren't you?"

"How do you know my business?" she demanded angrily.

"Listen, I might hate the ruddy git, but I do know heartbreak. It doesn't do well to be a bad winner. I know I've won Lily's heart. I know she will never forgive him for what he said to her. It doesn't mean that I can't feel sorry for the poor bastard."

He stood up and said, "You've been a true friend to him. God only knows why, Hermione. You're too good for the likes of him."

At this, Hermione puffed up angrily and opened her mouth to give him a piece of her mind.

He raised his hands in defeat. "Sorry, sorry. This is how it is: I'll never like Snape, and he'll never like me. But he's a bloke like any other wizard and deserves someone to watch over him. I'm sure he's feeling like shite, and I figured you might be heading out to be with him to make sure he doesn't do something stupid."

Hermione looked at him with shock. "James Potter, there is a heart in there after all!" she teased him.

"Hey, I feel responsible for the prat," he said with a lop-sided grin. "After all, Sirius got carried away, and I saved his life. Now what kind of life would I have saved him for if he were just going to end up a bitter, angry tosser?"

You have no idea! Hermione thought sarcastically.

James continued. "So, I figure you might need a little bit of help. So here." He tossed a cloak to her. She recognized it at once. It was Harry's invisibility cloak. Her eyes watered as she struggled for the words.

"Thank you, James," she whispered.

James put his arm around her and walked her to the door. "Look, I know that Filch is on the fourth floor, so watch it, eh? And you can just slip the cloak under the sofa when you get back."

She turned to him as she reached the entrance. "I-I don't know what to say, James!" she said thickly.

"Look, this doesn't mean I'm going to leave the prick alone! I still don't like him, and I still think he's an evil git. I think you are in over your head, Hermione, but you are a big girl, and well, you really never did get a fair shake from us Gryffindors, did you?" he said guiltily. "I guess I owe you."

"Thank you, James. And I promise, Severus will never know I got this from you," she said as she smiled.

"That's a girl!" he said warmly.

She stepped out and pulled the cloak around her cautiously, hurrying her way towards Severus, where she was needed the most.

***

The Astronomy Tower was the prime area for lovers and romantics alike. It was an odd place for two soon-to-be outcasts. Severus had been genuinely shocked to know she had kept her word.

She had crawled up the steep, circular steps to the doorway, only to open it and have a wand shoved into her face.

She staggered back and tried to make a grab for her wand as she was roughly pulled inside.

Snape was pointing his wand straight at her and lowered it with a sigh. "Hermione, you came!" he said surprised.

"Why? Are you shocked?" she asked incredulously. "I'm the one who told you to come here and at this specific time!"

He sat down hard on the ground. "I didn't want to hope," he said sadly.

Hermione spread the cloak on the floor and sat down on it. Snape sank into her arms and started to weep. "She's gone, Hermione. Gone forever! What am I going to do without her?" he sobbed.

Hermione held him and stroked his hair, shushing him. "You are going to get up in the morning and finish your O.W.L.s, and then you are going to take me home with you. I'll stay with you and your mum, and I will pamper and coddle you while you can work in your lab, making your potions experiments. I'll assist you, and I won't leave you. The pain shall pass, Severus. The hurting will lessen," she said soothingly.

"Lily will want you to be with her," he said sadly.

"I think Lily can do without me, Severus. You need me more," she whispered.

He raised himself up and said darkly, "Hermione, by making this choice, you are drawing lines in the sand. Lily may never forgive you. She will see it as a betrayal," he warned.

"I think I know what the truth really is, Severus," she replied. "There are things I wish I could tell you, but suffice it to say, I know more of the bigger picture than you realize. I am willing to accept the consequences."

Severus embraced her. "Hermione, I never thought you would ever become so dear to me," he whispered.

She pulled away from him and held his hands in hers. "Now, you will go back to your dorm room and get some sleep. Tomorrow is the last exam, the Leaving Feast, and then you and I will ride back on the Express together... just the two of us. How does that sound?" she asked.

"Wonderful," he replied. "However, I can't guarantee we won't have company dropping in on us," he said sadly.

"That's quite all right, Severus. After all, Avery has me protected. He approves of our friendship, for now. So, I suggest we take advantage of it as long as we are able!"

"Thank you, Hermione," he whispered shyly.

"You're welcome, Severus," she replied.

***

Hermione snuck back into her dorm room successfully after putting James' Invisibility Cloak back underneath the couch. It was difficult to let it go. She sat and held it for a long time, running her hands over the fabric, thinking about her times with Harry and Ron, wondering if they ever thought of her now, or if too much time had gone by...

She slipped into her dorm room and was thankful to see Mary and Lily fast asleep. She quickly changed her clothes and slipped into bed, thinking of Severus and how pained he had looked. He had seemed so tortured Hermione could not stop thinking that this may be the birth of the Professor Snape she knew, the cold, unfeeling, cruel man she had known as a young child. She hugged the pillow close to her and felt her stomach clench. She wouldn't let it happen! She would never let him fall that far into despair. She didn't know what she would have to do to keep it from happening, but she was willing to do whatever it took to keep him from falling off the edge into hopelessness.

She tried to sleep, but the images of his pained face haunted her. He loved Lily so much! He had given so much of himself to her the thought of him losing so much frightened Hermione. If it terrified her, then it must be pure hell for Severus to endure.

***

The next day, Lily did not say anything to Hermione. The day went on as usual, with the final O.W.L. examinations and Leaving Feast. Hermione watched Lily as she sat with Mary MacDonald and some older Gryffindor girls, laughing and talking happily as if nothing were wrong in the world.

Hermione found herself on the outside again. She sat alone and tried to enjoy the food and the excitement of the end of term, but she couldn't. She didn't know how things would be sixth year; she dreaded to think how she would have to share a room with Lily if they were on the outs. Well, she didn't have to think of it now; the summer could change everything.

Hermione went to get her things packed so she would be ready first thing in the morning to leave on the Express. She had met with Severus briefly after the Leaving Feast and made their plans to meet so they could ride back together.

"How have you been today, Severus?' Hermione asked him softly as they milled outside the Great Hall.

The magic swirled again in its intensity of glistening colors. Severus grabbed Hermione, kissed her firmly on the cheek, and walked away. She stood there with her hand on her cheek, wondering what they had done and what the repercussions might be for their promises to each other.

Hermione drew herself out of her thoughts and focused on her packing. Lily walked in and strode up to her.

"Hermione, I think we should talk," she said coolly.

Hermione regarded her standoffish demeanor and replied accordingly. "I didn't think there was anything else to say, Lily. Tonight you made things quite plain that you don't wish to have anything to do with me," she replied matter-of-factly.

Lily sighed. "Look, I was angry that you went off to see Severus when you knew how much he had hurt me, but I am ready to forgive you," she said simply.

Hermione was unimpressed. "Lily, I understand you were quite hurt and embarrassed by what Severus did so very publicly. However, as hurt and angry as you might feel, believe me, he feels a thousand times worse!"

Lily's face was set like stone. "Are you going to choose him over me?" she demanded.

Hermione's face snapped up, and she looked deeply into her emerald eyes. "Lily, this is not about choosing sides. I care about you, and I care about Severus...just as I always have. I refuse to be dragged into your quarrel! If he ever so much as says a word against you, he will be taken to task, just like I will have to do to you if you keep on saying cruel things about him. I won't stand for this bickering!"

Lily's face softened a bit and pulled Hermione towards her bed so they could talk privately and said, "My parents are spending the summer abroad. Petunia is getting married in a couple of weeks, and then after the wedding, they are headed for the continent. I was hoping you and I could spend the summer together," she said as her hand began to slide up Hermione's stomach.

"Lily," Hermione began to protest.

"Shh," Lily breathed as she covered Hermione's mouth with her own. She slid a hand inside Hermione's shirt to cup a breast.

Hermione pulled Lily's hand out from inside her bra. "Lily, I think that Severus needs some company. He is feeling rather bad off right now..."

Lily stood up and looked at Hermione angrily. "Well, it's his own damn fault! It's not mine that he called me that vile name!" she spat. "Hermione, I want you to be with me."

Hermione was finding it difficult to look into Lily's emerald eyes. "I think we need to spend some time apart, Lily. Perhaps things will be better in the fall after everyone has had a chance to cool down," Hermione replied.

"Fine!" Lily snapped as she stormed out of the room.

It was going to be a very long night. Hermione wished she could leave for Spinner's End immediately.