Chapter 10

A/N: All hail and praise to luvsev and WriterMerrin, the super betas!!

***

It was 1975, and Hermione, Lily, and Severus were starting their fifth year. Obsessed with the coming O.W.L.s, Hermione was frazzled from the very start of her fifth year.

They were the three top students, and it was getting rather competitive. Lily decided that they should spend as much time together as they could to study. Then whoever got the top spot, got the top spot. Hermione agreed. They were too close to let grades come between them.

Lily had not confided in Hermione about the last part of the summer, which was strange. She usually was so open about her relationship with Severus, especially when it came to sex. However, she was becoming more withdrawn and less open with her. Hermione wondered if Lily was trying to slowly end their intimate friendship. Lily didn't invite her into her bed anymore, not that Hermione minded. She felt she was too old now to be messing about that way. She liked boys and had known it for a while. The problem was there just was not one boy she liked in particular!

Every time Hermione turned around, James and Sirius were fighting with Severus. The nervous tic that had started last year had now spread throughout his body. He was constantly on full alert. At any given moment, the Marauders would jump out, wands drawn, ready for a fight. Lily seemed to be as equally furious with both parties, which Hermione thought was cruel. She tried to force the redhead to see reason, but one day, Lily took Hermione by the hand and sat out of the way during their free hour. Lily kept shushing her whenever she tried to ask why she had dragged her outside. Finally, Hermione saw James and Sirius walking along, laughing and joking. Suddenly, they were attacked from behind, blasted with a Bat-Bogey Hex. Lily was shaking her head in exasperation. Hermione gasped as she saw Severus like a cobra, grinning malevolently at his prey. He slipped away before he could be caught.

"See?" Lily said smugly. "Now you know why I have no sympathy for either side! They both do it to each other. I don't know why, perhaps because they are boys. At any rate, I won't give Severus a lick of sympathy. He deserves what he gets!"

Hermione's mouth gaped open. "You can't be serious!" she said desperately. "Haven't you noticed his gait? He's twitching all the time! It just not right! It's him against at least two, sometimes three if Peter jumps in the mix!"

Lily pursed her lips angrily before shouting, "Do you even hear yourself, Hermione Granger? You just saw Severus attack TWO boys simultaneously! He is a very powerful wizard. Sometimes he needs to be kept in check. Obviously, he can handle it." She shook her head. "Sometimes I just don't get you, Hermione. You are so logical, but when it comes to Severus, it's like you can't help but to feel sorry for him!" she said.

Hermione blinked her eyes and took a step back. "I can't believe what I'm hearing, Lily! I thought you loved Severus?" she said, shocked.

Lily's green eyes flashed in anger. "I do love Severus, Hermione! I've been his best friend and have loved him longer than anyone else here! It's just that I see him for who he is, not what I hope for him to be. I think you have the problem seeing things straight, Hermione."

She tried to push past Hermione, but Hermione wasn't going to let her get away without a piece of her mind.

She grabbed Lily's arm and said, "If it's so damn clear to you about everything, then why is it that you have conveniently forgotten how James and Sirius treated Severus when they first met him? They had decided a long time ago that Severus is no good and never will be!"

She let go of Lily's arm and continued her tirade. "I just don't get it, Lily! Sirius and James have never been nice to me. They constantly make fools of themselves just to impress you and give hell to Severus every chance they get! Maybe I'm a bit more sympathetic to Severus, but it's only because I know only too well what it's like to be treated as he is!"

This time it was Hermione to stalk away in anger. Just when she thought she was alone, Lily came up behind her.

"You called him Severus," she said oddly.

"So?" Hermione asked, confused.

"You've never called him anything other than 'Snape.' Is there something going on between the two of you?" she demanded suspiciously.

"No!" Hermione yelled. "I've just known him long enough to have made a friendship with him, is all!"

Lily looked at her strangely. Then her face relaxed. "I'm sorry, Hermione. I've been terrible to you." She wrapped her arms around her friend and gave her a tight embrace.

"I've just been so wrapped up in things that I've not given you any attention. I suppose it's only natural that you and Severus would find friendship, you both are so alike, you know," she said thoughtfully.

Hermione turned at looked at Lily carefully. "I don't want to pry, really I don't. It's just that you and I haven't talked about what's been going on with Severus. Did you sleep with him last summer? Are you together?"

"Oh, Hermione, that's so nice you've been thinking of me," she said sweetly. "Come," she said, putting her arm in Hermione's. "Let's get to class. Later we can talk more in detail after curfew. I've not paid any attention to you in a while. I've been neglectful."

Lily's eyes glittered. "Hermione, I couldn't do it. I wasn't ready. I don't know how I feel. It's just that even though I love him as a friend, I'm not sure if we are really meant to be together."

Hermione's heart plummeted. She should be happy. After all, Lily wasn't supposed to marry Severus; she was supposed to marry James Potter. However, she didn't feel good about it. She felt horrible.

***

That evening, Hermione talked with Lily in her bed. "Hermione, I've been talking with James Potter a little," she admitted.

"Really?" asked Hermione, trying to look shocked.

Lily licked her lips and took a deep breath. "Hermione, it's just been a long time coming now. I care about Severus, but he is getting so wrapped up with those guys in his house. I don't think I ever reached him after we fought about what Mulciber did to Mary. He makes so many excuses for their deplorable behavior. Whenever I talk to him about it, he just wants to turn it back onto James and Sirius. I just think he and I are moving in separate directions," she explained.

"Is that what you both were discussing last summer?" Hermione asked softly.

"Partly. I wanted him to make a choice. If we were going to take that next step and have sex, I needed to know if he was going to formally make a decision to be by my side and not be with them any longer!" Lily looked hurt and affronted.

Hermione studied her friend. She had been positively sure Severus would have promised her the sun, moon, and stars to keep her. It was so ironic! She didn't realize everything he was already doing to help her and keep her safe. She wouldn't believe it if he told her. Or even if she did, she'd say it was a coward's way. Hermione wanted to laugh. When did I start becoming a Slytherin?

Lily's emerald eyes were awash with tears. "Hermione, I'm losing him. James saw me crying the other day and told me Severus wasn't worth my tears. He told me that Severus calls others girls Mudbloods. Mudbloods, Hermione! That's you, me, Mary, Laura, Sylvie...all the rest! I just can't believe this is happening!" she said desperately.

Hermione hugged Lily. "Please, remember things are not always what they seem, Lily! Severus loves you. He loves you more than his own life!" she said fiercely.

Lily jerked free from Hermione's embrace. "Then why won't he prove it? Why won't he step over and join the Gryffindors against Voldemort?"

Hermione sighed. "Lily, we've been over this! Severus is in Slytherin house. He doesn't have the freedom to do as he pleases. You have to trust him!"

"I don't know, Hermione. I just don't know anymore," she said sadly as she hung her head.

They were quiet then, and suddenly Lily's lips were on Hermione's, urging her to open her mouth. Hermione broke away from her kiss.

"It's late, I'd best go to sleep," muttered Hermione.

Lily looked so dejected and sad as Hermione left her bed. Hermione felt bad, they had never discussed that aspect of their relationship, and she didn't know how to go about it now. It seemed strange now with all the changes Lily was experiencing. Hermione thought it would be prudent to just stop it now in order for Lily to focus on her male relationships. After all, time was moving fast. It was going to be 1976 before they knew it, and Lily had only five years left to fall in love with James Potter, break Severus' heart, get married, give birth to Harry and die.

Hermione had to keep that in mind: Lily was going to die, and although Hermione wanted to change what she could, this must not.

***

As Valentine's Day neared, tensions were at their height. Lily had cooled things off considerably with Severus, although they were still friends. But Lily was starting to distance herself from Severus intentionally. He was saddened and heartsick. Hermione felt compelled to be there for him. After all, she had given her word that she would never desert him. During those evenings when Lily was gone, they would go to the library or up to the Astronomy Tower and study for their O.W.L.s, talk about Potions and Charms, and Severus would share with Hermione some new spells he had created.

"Here, Hermione, look at this!" he said excitedly. "I've been working really hard to make my own spells and make my potions better. Watch!"

All of a sudden, she was lifted up by her ankle and was dangling upside down. She was wearing a skirt, and she was screaming at him to let her down as her skimpy, pink knickers were in plain view. Why she had ever worn them was beyond her. She just had an urge to feel sexy, and these knickers were see-though. Severus could see everything, and on top of it, they didn't cover much area to begin with.

"Let me down, you prat!" she screeched as she watched his mouth go slack and his black eyes nearly jump out of their sockets.

He released her, and his cheeks were flaming red. "I'm sorry, Hermione, I didn't think about you not wearing trousers or jeans," he mumbled, afraid to look at her while he spoke.

"Severus Snape, that was low-down and immature! I'm rather humiliated now, so I think I'll be going off to bed!" She started to pack up her things, and Severus stopped her by grabbing her hands.

"I'm sorry, Hermione. I really am. I wouldn't hurt you for the world! I hope you know that. I just wanted to show you what I'm going to do to Potter the next time he tries to hex me!" he said with a mad glint in his eye.

Hermione sat on the floor with Severus' hands still in her own. "Don't you think it's time to stop all of this foolishness?" she asked.

"No!" he shouted as he pulled his hands back from her. "I'm not blind, you know! I see what is going on. That bigheaded git, Potter, is trying to steal Lily from me! He fancies her! I told her last year, and she just blew it off like it was nothing. But I see how she looks at him sometimes."

He rubbed his eyes and ran his hand through his lanky, black hair. "I'm losing her, Hermione. I'm losing her, all because I won't do what she wants. She just doesn't get it that everything I do is for her well-being, her safety!"

Hermione watched helplessly as he began to cry. "I-I don't know how to live without her! If I lose her, I'll die inside, I know it! How can she defend him? He and Black, they hate me so much! They always have. How can she do this to me?" he asked furiously

Hermione took him in her arms and held him as he cried. This was getting desperate. Lily's breaking of Severus' heart might come sooner than expected. Hermione had no idea that what was going to happen just in a matter of months was going to change everything...forever.

***

The O.W.L.s helped a great deal to keep them all focused. Still, Severus and Lily managed to row every once in a while, and Hermione took it upon herself as peacekeeper of the group.

One day in early February, James Potter stopped Hermione on her way to the Great Hall for study period. At first she was suspicious and gripped her wand carefully, waiting for Sirius to jump out at her. She glanced around her nervously.

"Don't worry, Hermione. Sirius is already in the Great Hall. I really want to talk with you alone," he said.

Hermione couldn't help herself. He looked so much like Harry. It had been heart-breaking her first year in this timeline to see him. Many times she felt compelled to call out Harry's name to get his attention, but then she'd realize that he wasn't Harry. She looked into his warm hazel eyes, and that kept her steady. After all, Harry's eyes were just like Lily's: brilliant emerald green.

James took her by the arm and led her to the side in order to speak privately.

"Look, I know you and I haven't really gotten on together, but I do think you are a smart girl and all. I know you are best friends with Lily. I just want to know if she ever talks about me."

Hermione was not impressed. "No," she said coldly. "Lily has made it a point to not talk about your newfound relationship."

"I take it you don't approve?" he asked snidely.

"Why should I?" she snapped. "You have been nothing but a bigheaded git for the last two years! You don't respect Severus or me. Why should you expect a courtesy that you won't practice yourself?"

He looked cowed. "Gosh, Hermione, I'm sorry. There is just a lot of history between Snape and me. Look, I'll tell you the truth. I've already told Lily I've loved her since the first time I saw her. I knew she was the girl for me. She'd never given me a thought, just kept hanging about with Snape. I guess I've been jealous. I know I've been a huge prat at times, but I really love her, Hermione. I do. Can you please try to see if she'll consider going to the Valentine's ball with me? I've asked, and she said she'd think about it. I know she's gone with you the past two years. Could you help her decide?" he asked humbly.

"It's her decision, James," Hermione said simply. "I can't make her mind up for you. However, I will say this. Stop antagonizing Severus! That will make the biggest impression on her. Think about it, okay?"

He rumpled up his disheveled hair. "Okay," he mumbled. Then he turned and walked away.

"Helping the enemy?" a voice purred from behind her.

Hermione swung around and froze in shock as Severus came out of the shadows.

"What are you doing?" she demanded. "Trying to scare me to death?"

"I can't believe I trusted you, you filthy Mudblood! All this time, you've been trying to turn Lily against me so Potter can get his paws on her!" he spat.

Hermione knew this Severus Snape. He was talking like the professor she knew and feared.

She wanted to run away in terror, away from those black eyes that seemed to penetrate through her. But she summoned up the courage to stand up to him. She walked over and smacked him across the face.

"First of all, don't you ever...EVER call me a Mudblood again! Now, I realize you are angry and want to lash out, but that word is off-limits! It's dirty pool and too low for you, Severus Snape! I'll forgive you this one time, but ever call me that again, and all you will see of me is my back!" she yelled.

He hung his head apologetically. "I'm sorry, Hermione. I thought you were trying to help him!" he said anxiously.

Hermione hugged him and said, "Apology accepted. Just so you know he is trying to get Lily to accept his advances and is anxious for my help. However, I told him clearly it was up to him to do his own wooing! I also told him that ending this feud between the two of you would probably soften her up. So, I'll give you the same advantage, Severus. Leave James and Sirius alone," she warned.

He was silent and morose as they walked into the Great Hall. Hermione knew his heart was heavy and that he was hurting. Unfortunately, there was nothing she could do to stop the pain coming his way.