Chapter 18

A/N: Thanks to luvsev and WriterMerrin for all their hard work! You are both angels! This chapter has Hermione training to combat Death Eaters. There is a bit of squick, torture, abuse, and non-con for training purposes. I just wanted to warn you. Please read and review. This chapter is pivotal to the plot later on in this fic, so please don't overlook it!

***

Summer finally arrived, and Hermione knew that she was saying goodbye to many things. She knew that Lily would become Head Girl, and they would more than likely not speak to each other ever again. It was the middle of 1977, and Hermione knew that Lily and James had much to accomplish before their deaths. Hermione had accepted that her ability to help influence the coming together of the witch and wizard was no longer a possibility. All she could do now was hope that they would find a way to each other so Harry could be born.

Four years and they would be gone from this earth. It seemed strange when Hermione saw how bright and vivacious Lily and vital and strong James was, that they would never know the wonderful son they would create and how much he would change the Wizarding world.

Hermione and Severus stood in a hidden alcove and looked hard into each other's eyes. Hermione wanted to say so much. She felt so scared about being away from him for so long.

"I'm going to miss you, my darling," she whispered as his lips found hers.

"I love you, Hermione. I will always love you,' he whispered in return as his lips parted from hers.

Their hands were grasped tightly together. Neither wanted to release the other. Tears were gathering in Hermione's eyes, and Severus kissed away each tear that fell.

"This could be the last time we have together for a long time," he said sadly.

"It won't be for long, Severus," she reassured him. "I will hold onto you, even if I cannot show a soul...even if I have to deny it to the world...I will keep you and hold you," she whispered as they embraced.

Severus looked down, unable to meet her eyes as he spoke. "Hermione, you are all the wonders and beauty I could ever hope to know. I'm glad you will hold on to me. I'm afraid of losing everything decent about myself," he said honestly.

"You won't!" she said boldly as she forced his eyes to look into hers. "I won't let you lose who you truly are. I'll keep it safe, and if you ever need reminding, I will be there to do so."

Severus smiled at her. It still astonished Hermione at times how emotional he allowed himself to be with her. There was no way he would ever allow anyone to see or hear the loving words they spoke to each other. She could scarcely believe this was the younger version of the teacher who had terrorized her for two years. But then, it was becoming harder and harder to remember him. She could only recall snippets, the worst days, like when she had stolen from his stores to make Polyjuice Potion or the first day of class when he had yelled at her. She remembered how he could glide around a room without a sound and how his eyes could bore holes right into her soul. Everything else was melting away, and she did not care anymore. Severus Snape was no longer the dark, angry, vicious teacher. He was a sensitive, complex, and loving young man who would be completely hers one day.

As they kissed for the final time, Hermione thought perhaps it would not be so bad if she never returned to her own time. What if she just stayed here forever? She couldn't just leave him. She pushed the thoughts out of her head and focused on the Severus in the here and now. It had not escaped her notice how adult he was becoming. He quickly was becoming a man. He was seventeen after all. He was tall and angular, with long, pale fingers that reminded her of the Potions master. He was still young, though, and his eyes still had a light in them that the Potions master's did not.

She kissed him urgently, more passionately than she ever had before. He responded wholeheartedly and desperately clung to her hair as he dipped his tongue in her mouth. At last they broke apart, knowing they could not go further. He turned and walked away, never saying goodbye. They never said goodbye. It was as if it would be wishing ill upon them if they said the word. Hermione knew he was fearful, more so than she, for she knew he would be all right. He would live, but he didn't know it.

***

Summer that year was spent in the country, training with Kingsley and Moody. Hermione could not determine where they were, just somewhere far away from Hogwarts. A man named Fenwick and his son, Benjy, owned the farm where they billeted. A portly man of middle-aged years, Fenwick had a lot of land with lush greenery as far as the eye could see. It was a perfect place, isolated from prying eyes. Fenwick and his son were wizards as well, and from what Lupin had told her, probably members of the Order.

Right after their arrival, Kingsley had explained that he was going to work mostly with Remus, but Hermione was going to work extensively with Alastor. Hermione just could not get the hang of calling the ill-humored man Alastor, so she just called him Moody...for that was what he was, the moodiest man she had ever met, and she had thought Severus had mood swings!

Hermione and Remus were instructed in combat and advanced Occlumency training. Moody spent a great deal of time working with Hermione since she would at any moment be invited (at this Moody had snorted) to see Lord Voldemort.

He talked to her while sitting in a chair on its hind legs. He sliced an apple into small pieces before he eating it.

"Invited? Don't think so. More like 'summoned,'" he warned her. "The man trusts no one, has no friends, and is the consummate Slytherin. He uses whom he needs and disposes of those he doesn't. Your job is to always make sure you are useful. As long as he needs you, you will never have to fear for your life."

"You seem to know an awful lot about Slytherin thinking, Moody," she observed as she took a piece of apple he offered her.

"'Course I would! I was a Slytherin, myself, so I know of what I speak. You would do well to remember this one piece of advice. If you forget everything I teach you, I don't care. If you can manage to remember this, you will succeed: CONSTANT VIGILANCE!" he roared.

Hermione flinched. Moody laughed wickedly, then his face grew dark as he said quietly, "I'm not funnin' you, girl. I mean what I said. 'Constant Vigilance' is the key to survival. A little paranoia never hurt anyone. Besides, you have a true reason to be on your guard: you are a Muggle-born. That fact alone should make you want to never let down your guard around the enemy: perceived or otherwise. I'll teach you to trust your gut instinct. Tomorrow, you and I will work on what the Ministry is calling 'Unforgivables.' You are going to learn how to combat them, resist however you're able, and learn to protect yourself against them before they are even cast."

Hermione sat and listened in awe as Moody went on about the three different Unforgivable Curses and the various repelling jinxes that a witch or wizard could cast on themselves to prepare for such an attack.

"Now, I don't ever want to hear any monkey shines about you being under the 'Imperius Curse' and unable to resist and all that rubbish. I will have trained you so hard; it won't even stand up in front of the Wizengamot. And if you betray the Order, I shall testify against you, witch, and happily see you to Azkaban myself!" he threatened.

Hermione swallowed. "What if I don't have what it takes to resist the Imperius Curse?" she asked weakly.

Moody leaned forward and set his hard, beady eyes on her and said, "You'll have what it takes, even if I have to break you down and build you back up again myself!" he snarled.

He sat back and laughed raucously. Hermione closed her eyes. This is going to be one frightening summer! she thought.

***

Fenwick happily supplied the four Order members with food and drink during their stay. It was a hot summer. Last summer had been positively boiling, but under the conditions of living in the midst of the elements and the constant training, Hermione felt drained and tired most of the time.

On top of it, she felt like one big bruise. She had been tortured and succumbed to the Imperius curse so many times she had lost count. Moody made it extremely humiliating. Hermione knew she was not performing up to the level he was expecting, thus his reasoning for his degrading tactics.

***

"Come on, girl! You are NOT trying!" Moody snarled.

Hermione was on her back for the hundredth time that day. She covered her face with her hands as she felt the tears well up. Five weeks and she hadn't cried...until now. Even when he had forced her to eat dog food...like a dog would, she hadn't cried. It had made Remus livid, and he almost hexed Moody, but Kingsley had stopped him. Seeing Remus like that, angry, scared and impotent to do anything to save her had forced her to reach deep inside herself and do something.

However, what she did was fall. She still would not comply, but neither could she completely throw it off either. She had remained immobile, unable to help or defend herself. At first, Moody had been excited that she had finally shown some spark...some fire behind her brains. It had been short-lived though, after another week went by doing the same thing: falling to the ground.

So for the hundredth time that day, Hermione was on her back, while Moody jeered at her.

"So there she is, Hermione Granger, the cream of her generation, one of the brightest witches of her time, on the floor again!" Moody growled as he strode around her with his claw foot thumping along as he circled her like a beast of prey.

"Oh, what fun Voldemort will have with you, my sweet! He loves a bit of blood sport and humiliation. No doubt he'll have you on your back just the way you like it and have all his Death Eaters fuck you until you're dead!" he spat.

Hermione began to shake and cower in fear. She couldn't take this. She couldn't do this.

Moody leaned against a post and wiped his chin, eyeing her appreciatively. "Hermione, you've a choice. You CAN do this, not because it is within you, but because you MUST! You MUST do this, or you will be dead!" he hollered.

Hermione stopped crying and eased up into a sitting position. Moody seemed to be battling himself, muttering and cursing. Finally he grabbed a chair and sat on it backwards, facing her.

He fixed his dark, beady eyes on her, his balding, black, greasy hair hanging lifelessly around his face. The scars were gruesome, even more when he smiled, which was something he rarely did, as if he knew how grotesque it made him look. He studied her carefully and then spoke to her in a low, gruff tone.

"Hermione, I am getting the notion that you are not appreciating the gravity of our situation. For seven years now, Voldemort has been gallivanting around Britain, terrorizing Muggles, witches and wizards alike, just because he don't like 'em.

"He was always like that, killin', maimin', and causin' trouble just to see if he could. He hates Muggles, and the only thing he hates more than a Muggle is a Mudblood, like you. He sees you as an aberration of the foulest kind. A being that ought not to be. A desecration of everything he holds dear.

"Now, not only are you a disgusting freak of magical nature, you are a powerful witch. That is even more dangerous because what Voldemort wants more than anything is to rule the Magical World. He wants to have all the power, all the glory and honor that's possible to possess. If he can't get it through acceptable means; he'll do it by force. He even has his own people call him 'Your Lordship,' like he was a ruddy aristocrat!

"We don't have royalty in the Wizarding world. Everyone has an equal chance to make his or her own fame and fortune. We have rules and standards, but he doesn't care. He never has. Perhaps being an orphan, he always felt the rules never applied to him.

"Now here you are, Hermione. You're a powerful Mudblood witch. You're also an orphan, just like himself. You have stood out amongst his next generation of followers, those just now old enough to join his service, and you have fought them, made them create an alliance with you for the sake of peace. Why? Because HE wasn't ready for war and needed to keep people like you contained. You have dared to defy everything he stands for and wants. You are standing in his path, and for Voldemort, if you cannot be placated to stand aside and allow him to use your powers to his advantage, he will make an example of you.

"Now, I've seen him do it. You notice I don't have a leg anymore. I've been face to face with Voldemort, and he is a powerful Dark wizard...very powerful. There is nothing wrong with power; it's that he has no scruples to guide him. You would be a needful thing at most, Hermione, and if you choose to resist and reject his need, then you will have to be eliminated.

"I've tried. I have tried to adhere to the orders Dumbledore gave, but he said in the end if I was unable to train you with the orthodox measures, I must use unorthodox measures. I don't want to make you do some of the more truly shameful or agonizing things Voldemort would do without a second thought, but I don't know what else to do."

'Wait," said Hermione. "What kinds of things are you talking about? Rape? Buggery?"

"Yes, among other things that are even more heinous. He might force you to kill a person or torture them for his own enjoyment. He may even force you to copulate with an animal..."

Hermione vomited on the floor. Moody hissed and Scorgified the mess. "Get up!" he growled impatiently.

"You must be made of tougher stuff than this, Miss Granger," he said mockingly. "Are you a virgin? Is this why you look so horrified? Have you ever seen a man's penis? You had best get familiar with the idea if you continue to fail as you have!"

Hermione watched as he walked out of the barn. She held herself together, thinking of the oaths she had made to Severus. How she had saved so much for when they could be together. She cried. She cried because somewhere Severus may be out there raping and killing for Voldemort. How much was going to change in him? How would they reach the end without losing each other in the process? After everything they had gone through together, and after all this time, would he still become the cold and sadistic man she had known as a child?

Moody was right. She had to do this. Not because it was good for the Order or even because she could be raped. It was because she had oaths to keep and a future to save from being erased forever. She had a life that was waiting for her, and she had to make sure Voldemort never knew about Harry. He could never know; otherwise, he would just find a way to destroy him, James, and Lily in another way. Then all would be lost.

Moody returned with Kingsley and Remus. Moody attacked her again, and she heard the voice in her head.

Take off your clothes.

"Noooo!" she screamed as she fell onto the ground again,

Take off your clothes, NOW!

The force of his order was more intense than she had ever felt it. She was beginning to twitch onto the floor when she heard Kingsley say, "Legilimens!"

Oh, fuck! Hermione thought as she battled the two onslaughts. Her mind was more precious than her body. She began to strip as she focused on keeping Kingsley out of her mind.

Give oral sex to Remus Lupin

The voice was passive and half-hearted. She was on the ground on all fours, struggling to keep her mind intact. As long as the Imperiused orders were half-hearted, she could resist, but she couldn't fight...not with someone trying to break into her mind.

Suddenly, Kingsley withdrew slightly from pressing against her shields and a surge of power bubbled within her.

Give oral sex to Remus Lupin

Hermione was gaining control, but couldn't show it yet. She acted as if she were complying with the order when suddenly she grabbed Lupin's wand from his belt and shouted,

"Expelliarmus!"

Moody's wand went sailing out of his hand before she shouted, "Stupefy!"

Moody fell crashing into the manger of water behind him. He was roaring with laughter as Lupin and Kingsley went to fish him out. Hermione ran to quickly redress herself. When the men approached her, she was just finishing buttoning her pants.

Moody said, "Interesting approach, Granger," he said appraisingly. "You chose your mind over your modesty. Why?"

"Easy," she said simply. "My mind can not be up for forfeit. There is too much at stake. I don't keep my secrets hidden in my bra!" she said as she chuckled.

"Well, at least not anymore," Moody said with a twisted smile.

Hermione felt her face grow hot.

"You have made progress, Hermione," said Kingsley. Let's have dinner, and then we'll get at it again. We've only six more weeks to get you into shape. May Voldemort resist the urge to see you until the end of the summer!"

Hermione hoped so too.

***

Training did not stop just because Hermione had experienced a breakthrough. It was now more important than ever that she learn how to duel and defend herself. She was taught how to Apparate during a fight with ease and speed. Lupin and Kingsley set upon her, one after the other, to see how well her endurance could hold out.

The final two weeks were upon them. Moody and Kingsley spoke to their trainees about the worst to come.

Moody paced with his claw foot thumping on the floor as he moved and spoke in his usual harsh tones.

"The worst has now come upon you. You have been captured. You are about to be 'interrogated,' but that is a misnomer," he growled. "A Death Eater interrogation will mean tortures, beatings, slashes, brandings, amputations, etc. For women, rape is to be expected. Perhaps for men as well, but it is not as common. How do we know this? Because witches and wizards have already been disappearing around the country. We at the Auror Department are finding bodies that have been mutilated, marked, desecrated...it's barbaric," he finished.

Kingsley continued, "We have been fortunate to have spoken with a few who have escaped before their execution. The stories of torture have been horrific. The women who have spoken with us lived long enough to tell us their stories before committing suicide. The men are now in the wind, drunkards, thieves, unable to cope. Some have survived. Like Alastor."

Remus looked at Moody in awe.

"You have seen him?" he asked.

"Aye," he replied. "I was fortunate to have been interrogated by the most idiotic Death Eater to ever join Voldemort's ranks! I escaped, but I had to leave my leg behind and take these scars with me," he replied.

"So this is what will happen to you," he explained. "You won't know if it is day or night because you will be held in a dungeon, probably in some rich Death Eater's manor. While he and his wife go to Ministry functions, you will be languishing in hell!

"Now, you will be asked many questions. You don't answer anything. You give them your name only if you think it will work to your advantage. Most likely they already know who you are and what you do for the Order, which is the reason you are there in the first place. Although, there are times when people just 'happen' upon trouble and are spirited away.

"You need to focus on TIME. Look for any signs that could tell you the hour of the day and how many days have passed. From the moment you are discovered to be missing, we will look for you for three days. If you are not recovered, you will be marked as dead. No attempts will be made to find you. Although, we may stumble upon you in a raid. It is important to never give up hope.

"We advise you to try to ESCAPE. Do not allow them to beat and use you day after day; you will become dependent upon them, and your mind will be broken. Voldemort will rip your mind into shreds to extract any and all information he will find relevant. Then you will die. It would be better for the Order if you were to just die in the attempt to escape than to sabotage any operations we have that are of your knowledge. But be smart! Don't just go without a fight. If you have decided to die, make sure you take as many with you as possible. Most of the time, the bodies are sent to us as warnings, so there is a very good chance you will able to be buried properly. In that case, you shall be given full honors by the Order, and any dependents shall be given shelter and safety from Death Eaters."

Hermione and Remus were quiet. They didn't know what to say after such a sobering speech. Kingsley sat with them and said, "You have done your training. There is really nothing more we can teach you. You have learned combat, defensive magic, Dark arts, even how to repel Unforgivables. What Moody and I would like to do is to bring you both up to speed on the Order and give you your assignments. You are both going into your final year at Hogwarts, but make no mistake; there are Death Eaters at Hogwarts. So there must be Order members as well."

Moody took over. "This fall, the Head Girl will be Lily Evans, and the Head Boy, James Potter. They are to be approached by you, Remus, to join the Order. They are not to know of any other members beside yourself. If they decline, they must be sent to Dumbledore where they will be Obliviated on the spot. If Lily and James agree, then Dumbledore shall take over the responsibility of bringing Sirius and Peter into the fold. There are others as well who will be asked to join who are still too young; however, the Order will be recruiting fast. Things are moving at a fierce pace. We Aurors are having a time dealing with all the chaos that Voldemort and his Death Eaters are raining down on us, and these disappearances are just causing mass hysteria.

"Now, Hermione, your job is to carry on as you have. You and Severus Snape shall be meeting weekly to discuss Slytherin and Gryffindor relations. Any compromises towards keeping the peace in the school will be appreciated by Dumbledore. The last thing he wants is a war breaking out at Hogwarts! You will gather information as you are able and report to Dumbledore and Minerva."

He stopped and looked Hermione hard in the eyes. "I know you and Severus Snape have been friends for an awfully long time. Well, it is time for that relationship to end. Your interactions can only be business. He is a Death Eater now. He cannot be trusted. Any hint of fraternizing with the enemy will cost you your life. The Order is firm about this," he warned her.