Chapter 19

A/N: Awesome reviews! I love them! Thanks to WriterMerrin and luvsev for their continued hard work! I hope you enjoy this chapter!

***

Hermione and Remus stood at the Hogsmeade platform looking up at the castle. It seemed a lifetime had passed since they had last seen it. They were both hardened and lithe. Because Remus was a werewolf, Hermione had watched his transformations and learned how to handle herself against a werewolf attack. Hermione was tanned and strong. She had lost much of her generous womanly curves from a lifetime of reading books than playing outdoors. Now she was toned and fit. Her eyes were different as well, from what Remus had told her. He had said she had a wary look about her. She had replied that she needed to be wary, for this year was going to change everything...

She had no idea how correct she had been in her estimation. As she settled on a horseless carriage, she watched a group of Slytherins pass by. She saw Severus amidst the group. He was as she, lithe and toned. His face was emotionless as their eyes met. He halted the group, and they fell in line with him.

So it is true! Severus is now the Head of Slytherin, she thought.

He gave a small bow. "Miss Granger, I hope you had a profitable summer," he said deeply. "I look forward to our meetings. Please send an owl regarding which times you will be available for our first meeting." He then turned on his heel and strode off in a billow of robes. Hermione looked after him. He had turned into Professor Snape after all. Her heart plummeted. Was everything gone and forgotten? Had he loosed her from his heart?

Remus, perhaps sensing her disquiet, leaned over and whispered, "You knew this was to be for you. There is no point in continuing in a false hope that you can overcome this. The chasm is far too deep and wide, Hermione."

Hermione turned to him. "I have to hope. I cannot stop hoping," she replied as she turned back to look after Severus.

Remus turned her face to his. "You are hoping for what cannot be. Fraternization with the enemy, Hermione, remember? Like it or not, Severus is now officially camped with them. He is theirs."

"Do you think he has been trained to use the curses Moody used on us, Remus?" she whispered softly.

"That, you will have to ask him. But, Hermione, I think you need to reflect on your future. Weep if you must, for him and for all that you shared," he said wisely.

"Weep for what could never be," she said sadly.

Remus clasped her hand. "Yes, Hermione, for what had been, and what never shall be and also what never could be."

***

Hermione sat through the Sorting and the Welcome Feast while bittersweet memories flooded her mind. She thought of her own sorting and all the nervousness she had felt during that time. She thought of Harry and Ron and what kind of men they had become without her. She could not dwell too long on it, thinking that they were at this table with her as well, just in another time. She glided her hand across the old wood of the table, wishing with all her might that somewhere, Harry and Ron would be doing the same and somehow, together they could feel each other through time.

She looked at the Marauders. James had changed over the summer. He was serious looking, and true to what she had been told, he wore the insignia of Head Boy. Sirius and Remus sat with him, along with Peter, all of them happily chatting and laughing. They were so carefree and at peace.

Hermione looked at Severus. She had watched as each new first-year Slytherin made their way to the table and into the hands of Severus Snape. He shook each new member's hand and spoke with him or her. He was making his presence known, and his place could not be misinterpreted. He had now taken up the vaulted place as Head of Slytherin. He looked smug and proud.

Hermione's eyes glanced and found the brilliant emerald eyes of Lily Evans staring at her. She was beautiful. She had become a woman, like herself. Neither of them were children anymore. Lily carried a hard glint in her eyes that disturbed Hermione. She kept it carefully hidden in the midst of the others. Hermione knew Lily had caught her staring at Severus. There would be words later between them, she was sure.

Hermione sighed as she ate her dinner. She was again the outcast, but somehow, she didn't seem to care so much. All she wanted now was to get back to Harry and Ron. Damn all of this! Fuck the Order and all of its demands. If she had lost Severus, it was meaningless.

***

After the Feast, Hermione was left in her small dorm room with only Mary McDonald as her companion. She was just finishing up with her unpacking when the door opened and Lily stepped in. She whispered to Mary and came towards Hermione.

"Hello, Lily," Hermione said as cordially as possible.

"It's strange not being in here with you and Mary," she replied with a small smile.

Hermione smiled as she sat on her bed. "Yes, congratulations on making Head Girl. You and James Potter, who would have guessed?" she said with a tiny laugh.

Lily laughed in return. "I know! It is rather strange," she said with her voice trembling. "I want for us to make peace. Would you please come to my room? We can be alone to talk."

Hermione agreed and followed the Head Girl to her new digs. It was a nice, quaint room. Small, yet cozy, Hermione sat in one of the chintz sofa chairs Lily offered.

"I have some herbal nighttime tea, if you would like?' she asked sweetly.

"No, Lily, I'm fine," said Hermione, feeling rather strange being alone with her.

Lily turned to her and said, "I couldn't help but watch you as you were looking at Severus. There was something there, I'm not a fool."

Hermione narrowed her eyes, trying to decipher the meaning behind her statement.

"Lily, Severus has changed. It was apparent the moment I saw him after arriving. He approached me and asked for arrangements for our meetings. He has been made Head of Slytherin," she offered.

"I figured as much," she said calmly as she set down her cup and came towards Hermione. "It must be painful to know it is all over now. I know you and he had become close."

Hermione kept looking at her warily. "What are you trying to say, Lily?" she asked directly.

Lily knelt on the floor and slid her hands up Hermione's thighs. "It's been so long, Hermione. You have to know how I have always felt about you," she whispered.

"Lily!" Hermione breathed.

Lily crushed her lips against Hermione's. Hermione was aghast. This was wrong. Lily was supposed to be falling in love with James!

Hermione broke their kiss and said slowly, "I think I am confused. What exactly are you telling me?"

"Please, let's not keep skirting the issue, Hermione. I want you back. If you want, Mary can have this room, and you and I can take the seventh-year room. We can be together always like this: just you and me, Hermione...without pretense. I thought we would grow up, marry nice wizards and be best friends. I never thought I would grow to love you this way! No one has ever made me feel the way you do," she pleaded as she caressed Hermione's face. "We can be together forever!" She pressed her lips onto Hermione's while her hand cupped her breast.

Hermione scrambled up from the chair. "Lily, it has been a while," she started to say.

Lily interrupted her. "I know, Hermione, but we can get it back. I admit I was angry about being replaced..."

"...Lily, there was no 'replacing'!" Hermione insisted.

Lily's eyes flashed furiously as she stood up. "I can't believe you, Hermione! How can you choose him over me? I've been your friend. He couldn't stand you. He hates us...Mudbloods, remember? James and Sirius were right about him all along."

Hermione tried to make her see reason. "Please, Lily, I'm not choosing. Look, James and Sirius never liked me anyway. It's not as if anyone ever cared..."

"I CARED!" Lily screamed as she pushed Hermione to the floor. "You just wanted me out of the way, didn't you?"

"Lily, NO! I never wanted to come between you two!" she protested.

Lily let out a frustrated screech. "How blind can you be?" she shouted. "It was never about Severus. It has been about you! I want you. I have always wanted you. I just used him to make you jealous...I...please, Hermione!" she begged.

This was unbelievable. How had everything been so turned around? Hermione was stunned. "I am sorry, Lily, I care about you; I just don't want you that way," she explained.

"So, what you're saying is you like boys now? Are you shagging Severus, Hermione?" she demanded.

"No!" Hermione said in disbelief. "Lily, please! You have to stop this," she said adamantly.

"I love you, Hermione," she whispered as tears fell from her eyes.

Hermione swallowed and gasped for air. "Lily, you and Severus were so...so intimate once. I thought for sure you and he were going to have sex that summer before fifth year."

Lily wiped her lovely, green eyes and said thickly, "I-I didn't really know, and I thought I should at least know what it would be like with a boy. But all I could see was your face every time he touched me. I thought you loved me, too. After all, you wouldn't accept Remus' advances, and there were no others around. I tried to make you jealous by being with Severus...I admit that wholeheartedly." She looked at Hermione desperately, pleadingly.

"Lily, you will thank me one day. There will be a nice bloke...just look at James Potter! He's changed. He seems so mature now," Hermione said in desperation.

Lily stepped back from her, as if she couldn't stand being near her. "Leave. Get out, Hermione Granger!" she hollered. "I never want to lay my eyes on you ever again."

Hermione looked at the cold eyes staring at her. There was nothing more to say. She turned and, with one last glance, said goodbye to Lily forever.

***

The first week was hell. Hermione felt it was for the best to not tell anyone about what Lily had confessed to her. Remus was patient. He sat with her on the hill that overlooked Hagrid's hut. He looked at her a lot and sighed often.

"I know you are hurting, Hermione," he said softly as he placed his hand on hers.

Hermione pulled away from him.

"I...I'm sorry, Hermione," he choked out sadly. "Really I am."

"It's just that I told you, Remus, that I don't see you that way!" she blurted out angrily.

She calmed down and rubbed her forehead. "I'm sorry, Remus, that was cruel."

Remus shook his head. "No. It's the truth. I just got it in my thick head that since things have changed with Severus, and the fact we went through so much during the summer, perhaps I would have a chance to hope?" he asked quietly.

"Remus," Hermione began to say and then started to sob inconsolably. He put his hand on her shoulder.

"Hermione?" he asked, concerned.

"I love him, Remus. I love him, I miss him and I am so afraid I will never have him!" she sobbed.

"I don't mean to be cold-hearted, Hermione, but you know it is hopeless for you and Severus." He took her by the hands and looked into her face earnestly. "It wasn't fair, it was cruel in more ways than I can count, watching you strip off your clothes, seeing your naked body. I wanted you, Hermione. I wanted you like I have never wanted any witch. I would wait a lifetime if you would only tell me that I had the slightest chance. I would give anything, all I have, to be with you, Hermione," he said passionately.

"I...I need to think, Remus," she whispered.

His eyes sparkled, and Hermione could tell he was aroused. She blushed and averted her eyes from the tenting of his robes.

He noticed and tried to cover it with his books. "I apologize, Hermione," he said calmly. "All I can say in my defense is that is how intense my affection is for you. I desire you in many ways. Sexually is one of them."

"I appreciate your honesty," Hermione replied. Then she dashed off. She needed to think. She needed to go to the owlery and let Severus know when she could meet with him. She was nearing the entrance up to the owlery when Severus came out of nowhere.

"Hermione," he said smoothly.

His voice was perfection. Long gone was the youth; he was a man. Strong, toned, lightly muscled...he must have trained as she had this summer. She kept her walls of Occlumency up. She still didn't know if he was the Severus she knew and loved.

He took her hand and led her into the shadows underneath the stairs. "Hermione," he breathed as he kissed her. The familiar feel of his lips on hers made her moan with want. She had missed this.

"Hermione," he groaned as he broke their kiss. "I missed you; I thought of you constantly. I love you."

"Do you?" she whispered against his lips. "Are you still my Severus, the Severus who kissed me in that record booth, who made those oaths to me?"

"Yes, Hermione," he said as his black eyes pierced hers. "I am still yours. Are you still mine?"

She held his lips back. "As long as you keep yourself from fully joining that madman," she said firmly. "I know you must do what you must to protect me and Lily..."

"...No, Hermione," he whispered. "It's bigger than that. I have experienced how insane the Dark Lord is. He is vicious and evil...truly evil. There are things he is doing that I cannot imagine anyone stopping him!"

Hermione took his face into hers. "You can't talk that way, Severus," she whispered. "You have to remain strong."

"Hermione, he's coming here...to Hogwarts...sometime this term. It's vital that Gryffindor house accept the offer I will be making when we meet," he said grimly.

Hermione peered into his face. "It's really that bad, isn't it?" she asked softly.

Severus lowered his head. "People are dying. I have seen entire families of Muggles slaughtered for sport! He is sadistic and insane. He has these powers he learned in the Orient back when he disappeared twenty years ago. He knows how to hurt people, make them do things they don't want to do. I know, he taught me, Hermione. H-He marked me," he choked out.

"What do you mean he marked you?" she demanded.

He lifted the sleeve of his robe and unbuttoned his shirt to reveal a dark tattoo. It was of a skull with a snake coming out of its mouth.

"Oh God, Severus, what have you done?" she breathed as she went to touch it.

"Don't!" he hissed. "It's how he controls us. He presses his finger or wand into any Death Eater's Mark, and we have to Apparate immediately to his side. If we don't, it burns and torments us." He swallowed thickly. "Hermione, I didn't know I was there to take the Mark. It just was sprung upon us...Regulus and me. It was either take the Mark or defy him, which meant immediate death. I know I should have died than to take it." He lowered his dark head.

Hermione kissed his head and held him to her. "No, Severus. I'm not sorry. It had to be done. There are no easy choices anymore. Nothing is cut and dry," she said shakily.

Severus' black eyes looked into hers. They were hollow and deadened. "He has these creatures, Hermione. I can't get them out of my mind. They are dead, but re-animated. Dead, but alive! They feel no pain, they can be cut and not bleed; they are an army of the dead. He keeps them in a cave..."

"No, Severus! I don't want to hear anymore," she said weakly as she cradled her head.

"Now can you see why I am afraid that there is no hope? He is too powerful, he's so awesome in his magic...he wields it like no one I have ever..."

"...Not even Dumbledore?" she asked desperately as she lifted her head.

Severus looked away, his brows knitted in thought. He began to breathe shallowly. "Well, I have never seen it, I only heard of the mighty battle against Grindelwald. People have said that Dumbledore is the most powerful wizard alive." He looked at her again, and his expression relaxed.

"That's right, Severus. As long as we have Dumbledore, we're safe!" she said happily.

Severus grabbed her and kissed her lips, brushing his tongue across them. She gave him entrance, and they held onto one another desperately.

"I will have to do what I must to stop him, but Hermione, I will stop him, and you and I will be together forever," he panted between kisses. "Hermione, please, will you let me make love to you?" he asked as he pressed his erection against her stomach and his forehead on hers.

"I can't," she said simply. "Not now, not like this. There will be a time, I promise," she swore.

"Make an oath to me, Hermione," he pleaded. "Vow to me that I will have you, that one day you will come to me and give yourself to me. Swear that I will know you, all of you," he said as his eyes swept over her.

"I do swear," she vowed.

The magic swirled around them for the third time, and the kisses they shared were as sweet and hungry as ever.

"I want to see you, Hermione. Show me again how you pleasure yourself," he said hoarsely.

Hermione opened her robes and moved where his voluminous robes hid her from all outside view. His eyes burned in their intensity as she revealed her breasts and pushed her hand into her knickers. She began to rub furiously, whispering Severus' name as she grasped one taunt nipple and felt her climax building. She looked down and gasped at the sight of Severus' long, thick cock as he stroked to the sight of her masturbating.

After he panted through his own release, he whispered near her lips, "One day, I will bury myself inside you and will never let you go until you scream my name. I can not wait to hear you calling my name as you writhe underneath me, Hermione," he growled.

Hermione's eyes fluttered, and she cried out his name one last time before she was spent.

"I love you," he said passionately.

"I love you," she gasped.