Her Ghosts
Chapter 37 of 40
AuretteHermione comes close to ending up in the Janus Thickey Ward again, but her usual rescuers come to her in her time of need.
ReviewedSeverus collapsed to the floor with a sickening thud. From behind me, I heard several voices shout curses and streaks of light flew over my head. One streak was a distinct color green, and I knew the voice that shouted that curse belonged to Peaches, but I couldn't bring myself to care. It felt like ice had glazed up along my body until I was numb, and now I was only waiting for it to stop my heart.
Like a child that doesn't understand why a toy is broken, I crawled to Severus and pulled him over onto his back. I didn't say anything; I didn't make a noise. I just looked at him, waiting for him to do something. He looked wrong. His hair had been caught in a hex, and so most of it was bobbed back to his shoulders. There was only one long section left on the right side. His robes were so tattered that I could see Harry's cloak spilling out of the inside pocket through the split side seam. His face should have been relaxed if he was sleeping, but instead he looked... annoyed. Ron would have found it funny. Ron! Come see Severus! Ron? His legs were splayed awkwardly, and it seemed so undignified. I tried to straighten them out, but they felt like dead weight. I pushed and shoved. Harry, come help me with this! I lifted up his shoulders and slid forward on my knees until he was resting back against them. I was sure he would be much more comfortable that way. Severus, wake up, my love. I need you now. Severus? Harry, where's Severus?
I smoothed his hair back from his face. He felt like he was getting cold, so I rubbed at his chest and shoulders to keep him warm. I was vaguely aware of people trying to speak to me, but I knew I had to stay silent. If I made any noise, it would make it real, and I knew it wasn't real. He made me a vow. He promised to free me. This didn't feel like freedom, so he must not have been finished. I waited and kept my silence, rubbing, rubbing, rubbing to keep him warm.
I heard noises around me, but I blocked my ears. I couldn't listen to their words; they would make a real world I did not want.
I felt hands pull at me, and I lashed out at them with my wand. Keep your real away! I don't want it! I cast a shield around us to keep them out.
Harry? Did you find Severus yet? Ron, help him, please. Harry could never find anything on his own. I couldn't seem to keep him warm. I rubbed and rubbed but he was still getting colder. I leaned forward and pulled Harry's cloak from his pocket. As I did so, I saw he had dropped the Elder Wand. Severus, you can't leave that just lying around. Tsk. I tucked his wand back into his hand and laid his hand on his chest. Then, I spread out Harry's cloak and covered him with it and rubbed and rubbed and rubbed. Hurry, Harry, I need him!
I liked how he was invisible now, because I could feel the weight of people's stares. I leaned down and hid his face with my hair. Severus wouldn't like this many people watching him while he slept, so I knew it was my job to give him what privacy I could. Still, I felt the weight of their stares, pushing their reality at me, trying to force me to accept it. I could taste their thoughts in the air. I closed my eyes and rocked gently to soothe Severus in case the smell of their thoughts disturbed his sleep. All the while I rubbed and rubbed and rubbed.
Hermione? We found him. He's coming back to watch over you both. Ron made him take a vow, but I think you need to watch over him as well.
Oh, God, they found him. I heard a collective gasp from all around me and opened my eyes. A great shuddering sob of relief tore through me as I saw Severus' body come back into view. His hand was empty. The cloak and the wand were gone, and I was sure that wherever he had hidden it on him, the Resurrection Stone was gone as well.
Thank you, Harry, I needed him ever so much...
I couldn't help the heaving sobs that wracked my body as I felt him draw that first labored breath. I clung to him and cried. I was spent, broken. I only wanted to crawl into his pocket and hide from the world forever. Protected. Finally.
I became aware of voices again and realized my shield had dissipated.
"Hermione? Let us help him."
I looked up and saw Percy.
"He's alright now. He took another vow; Ron made him," I answered. His face recoiled as if I had slapped him. I thought I saw fear in his eyes.
"Don't be afraid, Percy, he's going to take care of me now. A man is defined by his vows," I told him.
"Oh, Mother of Mercy, she's losing it again," said Peaches. She elbowed Percy aside. "Hermione, honey, can you hear me?
"Of course I can, Caroline."
"Are your friends with you?"
"No, they left already."
"Okay, I have an idea, Hermione. We're gonna take you and your man somewhere he'd be more comfortable. Is that okay?"
"Alright, Caroline, that would be nice."
"I'm going with you just for the ride, alright?"
"That's okay; you can come too."
She knelt down on the floor behind me and wrapped her arms around me and pressed a broken plate into my hand. She reached down and grabbed Severus' hand as well, and with the three of us holding it, she tapped it with her wand, and the world went away.
"Someone! Anyone!" I lifted my head, still dizzy, as Peaches screamed in my ear. I was very disoriented and more than a little nauseous, so I held still as Dahlia came running over to us.
Peaches scrambled backwards off the table we had landed on but I clung to Severus, refusing to move as they waved wands at us. I remember what they said but none of it meant anything to me.
"What happened?"
"He was hit by the Killing Curse."
"That's not possible: he'd be dead. Even a glancing blow is enough."
"That's just it; he was dead. Now he's not. He just started breathing again not three minutes ago."
"How long was he dead?"
"Long enough, several minutes."
"Not possible."
"You already said that. Look, I just left a room full of people that can confirm it. Just check him out; he's breathing now, but Princess here wouldn't let us near him when he wasn't. I want to make sure there's a whole lot of brain activity if you know what I mean."
"What's wrong with her? She looks catatonic."
"She'll be fine; don't you mess with her. Just fix him. You fix him, and she'll be fine. Very simple, get it?"
"Well, we need to move her."
"I don't think you want to do that just yet. She took out five of us when we tried."
"Very well, but I'm going to check her out too, since she's here."
"Fine, you just do that."
They stopped speaking, or I stopped listening at all, and so I just stayed there, on my knees, holding my lover's head in my lap. I listened to him breathe and felt his strong pulse as I caressed his neck. I watched his eyes dance under his long lashes. At one point, Peaches asked me if it was okay if she checked out my belly. I told her that was fine, but to be quick as he needed me to keep touching him. I kept my hand on his forehead as I leaned back so he would know I was still there. She was very quick. She's a good friend.
Peaches came back again and asked me if Severus and I would like to sleep.
"Yes, I think that would be lovely."
"Alright, sweetie, just keep a hold of him and back off the table slow. Your legs are going to be really wobbly; you've been sitting like that for an hour now. Yes, that's it, no you don't have to let go, just hold onto him like that. Okay slowly, just lean on the table. I know, pins and needles. There you go, better? Can you walk?"
"Yes, I think so."
"Good girl. Come over here and hold his hand: Theo and I are going to move him to your room; I got it all fixed up for you."
I held his hand all the way to our room over the kitchen. Theo and Peaches were very sweet, being extra careful around the turns, unlike Sirius Black that time in the tunnel. I told them how much Severus would appreciate that when he woke up.
"What's wrong with her, Caroline?"
"Nothing is wrong with her, Theo; she's fine."
"But why is she acting like this then?"
"What the fuck would you act like if you'd been through what she's had to live through these last five years? She always gets like this when she's overwhelmed. But her ghosts always find her and bring her back."
"Her ghosts?"
"Her friends. Whenever life gets too much, she talks to them, and they give her the strength to keep going."
"Um, you mean the actual ghost of Potter..."
"No, you can't see them, and I used to think they were bullshit too, but after five years of watching over her, I don't anymore. She always said the person she was before died that day, that she never left them. But the truth is, I think they never left her. I believe they have been watching over her all this time. They put her back together, and then she just wakes up and is fine. Well, actually she wakes up and is a soulless bitch for weeks afterwards, but that's because they made her strong again. She never really remembers them though, when she's better; she forgets my name every time too."
"Caroline..."
"You can think I'm as nutty as you want; I don't give a damn. You saw it yourself, Theo. He was dead. Dead as a doornail. Now he's not. Now apparently all he needs is a good night's sleep. So you go ahead and tell me my theory is whacked after what we all saw tonight."
"No, I'm not going to say anything, not after what I saw tonight."
"Here we are, Hermione. Would you like help getting him ready for bed?"
"Yes, please."
I clutched his limp hand and watched as Peaches used her wand to remove Severus' garments, and when he was down to just his pants, I pulled the blankets up over both of us.
"Don't you want to change, sweetie?"
"No, it would take too much time, and I have to keep him warm."
"At least kick your shoes off, there you go. All set?"
"Thank you, Caroline. You're a very good friend."
"Sure, you tell me that every time. Sleep well, Hermione."
I wrapped myself around my love, resting my head on his chest, and fell asleep listening to his heartbeat.
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Latest 25 Reviews for The Princess of Gryffindor
597 Reviews | 6.94/10 Average
I agree with Mick42 in the sense that I don't like the Voldemort won/everyone's dead/Hermione's a whore stories. I avoid them like the plague. I decided to give this one a go based on the reviews. I was very, very skeptical. There were aspects to the writing that I didn't like, such as it being written in first person, but the memorial scene alone made it well worth the read. I may have shed a tear (or 10).
Wow...just wow. Now I know why all of these other reviewers have shed a tear. I am a mess. Still smiling tho'! Captivating read. Kudos!
Yay, all finished. It's been a while since I've read this, so I had forgotten a lot of the details in the ending chapters, but I still love it as much as I did the first time I read it. You have my in tears reading the end couple of chapters now, but that's terribly easy to do to a pregnant woman, so don't worry too much lol.
I just love Snape, have I ever mentioned that? I do. And it's stuff like this in stories- him vowing to protect Hermione- that make me love him even more..
This is one I've read before, on ffnet I think, but I have to read it here too, it just seems impossible not to reread your favorite stories when you come across them somewhere. The bonus is that you already know you love the story, even if you can't remember all the details between point A and A.D.
My dear Aurette,I have spent half of yesterday and all of today re-reading this unbelievable story. Half of the time, I've been a sobbing, sopping mess - when S&H were gathering forces and found people who were still alive, the whole Harry and Ron speaking to Hermione from the great beyond, the memorial scene (holy crap, talk about sobbing!), reuniting with Minerva's ghost, and the list goes on. I love the plot of the story. I love your numerous OCs. I love how the young DEs revolt. I love how forces from all sides join together to fight the Dark Lord. I love the romance between S&H. I love how utterly vulnerable he is to her, and she to him. I love how wizarding society hero-worships Snape in the end. I love So Many Things about this story. If my heart could take it, I'd start it all over again, but I really wasn't exaggerating when I said I was sobbing half the time I was reading. This might sound odd, but reading this today, US Memorial Day, just makes it seem even more poignant. But I do think it's honoring to RL sacrifices by reading about fictional ones. Thank you so much for this absolutely wonderful story, and for giving me such an enjoyable (if teary and snotty) way to spend my day off.Love,Christev
Response from Aurette (Author of The Princess of Gryffindor)
{{{hugs}}}What a beautiful thing to say. I am deeply touched and honored. Thank you, Christev.
Response from Aurette (Author of The Princess of Gryffindor)
{{{hugs}}}What a beautiful thing to say. I am deeply touched and honored. Thank you, Christev.
Heartbreaking and wonderful and worth rereading. Thank you for sharing this.
Response from Aurette (Author of The Princess of Gryffindor)
I'm so glad you enjoyed. ;-)
Just re-read this and had to mention: Best Epilogue Ever. Why couldn't you have given JK a few pointers? ;-p
Response from Aurette (Author of The Princess of Gryffindor)
LOL! She never asked... Thank you!
I've just flown through the last several chapters, held in thrall to this story! This is just genius, you know, starting at a place of total desolation - this terrible post-war dystopia - and taking all the elements from DH (the prophecy from Severus, the Hallows, even walking beside the dead and moving with them before returning to earth - thanks particularly for including Draco with the others), using them as they were meant to be used, finding another way of stopping Voldemort and reenvisioning a new world in the aftermath.
And I love seeing Snape marked as the Man Who Lived! And a father! And the Minister! (And that proposal? Mmm-hmm... clearly, he has caught on to everything Hermione's been teaching him!)
You strike such a great balance between comedy and high drama. It's such a pleasure to read.
Oh, Goyle. Goyles will be Goyles, I suppose!"I think you have just been metaphorically peed on." Oh, I love this line... particularly since Severus' possessiveness towards Hermione is such a strong part of his character (which is why his reluctant willingness to 'share' Hermione rather than lose her was SO terribly shocking).
Response from Aurette (Author of The Princess of Gryffindor)
Thank you! And I think, by his behavior in this chapter, you can see he tacitly took those words... back.
Response from ofankoma (Reviewer)
Oh, absolutely! That's what's so marvelous to see in this Snape. He acts impulsively so often, and then immediately knows that it's not what he really wanted, and is slowly learning to keep it all in check as he accepts the fact that she really loves him and that he's truly safe with her.
Response from Aurette (Author of The Princess of Gryffindor)
Hannah and Neville! Woo-hoo! (You can just feel the little triumphs along the way - things are getting brighter all the time!) And the lack of trust between all parties involved... yes, that feels completely, completely believable.(Also,I don't know that I've ever met an original character that I've liked, but Peaches is fantastic. Just fantastic. You make me change my mind on a lot of things, I think...)
Response from Aurette (Author of The Princess of Gryffindor)
I intentionally started this tale as dark as I could make it, and then slowly let the light in. Neville and Hannah were such a beacon of hope...
Ah, the trust between the two as they examine the girls! And her red robes... yes, I imagine Severus doesn't want Hermione in anything less than a high-necked robe in front of her old beau.
Response from Aurette (Author of The Princess of Gryffindor)
Trust is something they thought they had, but as you can see, they are both too emotionally unsophisticated to not end up with issues.
Whoa, whoa, whoa... Elder Goyle and Ma are two revelations here, aren't they? As for the former, it really makes me wonder (again and again) what Voldemort's plan was 'when' he won. Why cheat Death if you have nothing to live for? For someone as hypothetically long-sighted as he was (looking to an eternity of power and control over the wizarding world), he's remarkably short-sighted here (what do you do now that you've won?). You raise all sorts of fascinating questions here. And Ma, with the Veritaserum? Grand.
Response from Aurette (Author of The Princess of Gryffindor)
Ma was intended to just be a stock vilain, but she elbowed her way toward three dimentional. I was very happy with the way she worked out.
The robes! Wonderful, wonderful, all around, from Hermione's comfort in them and the note exchange.Charlie and Viktor? You're really getting things moving here, aren't you? Momentum. You're really a master with creating a momentum that just pulls a reader through the story. I don't mean just here, but everything I've read up til now - it's so well paced and unfolds so naturally. In case I haven't said this in a chapter or two, thanks so much for sharing this.
Response from Aurette (Author of The Princess of Gryffindor)
I was very attuned to the pacing of this tale. It was my very first mult-chaptered fic and getting the pacing down right was one of my primary concerns. Thank you so much for reviewing it!
Hooray! I love what you've done with Theo Nott. The second guessing and the regret shows how easy it was for misguided, then-ambivalent people to latch on to Voldemort's coat tails. (Cloak tails?) Very like Severus at that age, no?You're also hilarious, but I suspect you know that. "Conjure myself some decent clothes?" FABULOUS.
Response from Aurette (Author of The Princess of Gryffindor)
Exactly! I saw Theo as not being wildly different from young Snape, just perhaps a bit more entitled. I am so glad you liked this.
Wow. There are so many things I love, love, love in this chapter. First off, the relationship between Severus and the Malfoys. (Ach, and the horror of their deaths!) Next, Dumbledore's attitude. I, for one, have a tendency to vilify the man. Reading the repentance he shows here makes me rethink a lot of things about him. (So thank you for challenging me!) But you're right - we have a lot of evidence in DH that there are many unspoken things in his past that explain his present actions. And, of course, it's just a relief to see that he finally has someone to tell all this to, someone who will care for him and stand by him through it all. This is just wonderful, and I'm completely loving your writing and this story!
Response from Aurette (Author of The Princess of Gryffindor)
I also have a tendancy to vilify Dumbledore, but I know that was never JKR's intention, so every so often I try and reset my thinking. Then I backslide. lol.
There are so many reasons I love this story... wonderful narrative flow, seamless incorporation of canon devices (Hallows! Can't wait to see them in action!), a fresh perspective on the nature of evil in the Voldemort regime, a place to see regrets worked out and atoned for.But the single greatest reason why this is so fabulous is your clear vision of your characters. What we know of them from JKR is fleshed out so beautifully here, and it's not a happy-go-lucky, cleaned up and sanitized version of the very broken people we know (and love), but a hard look at the mistakes they make and how they learn together to move on and forgive one another in a much deeper understanding of who the other really is.
Response from Aurette (Author of The Princess of Gryffindor)
This chapter was my impetus for writing the whole fic. I wanted to get to this scene. Of course, once I did, I then had a Ministry to over throw... lol.
Oh, now that's interesting... incorporating the Hallows? I think this means we'll get to see some action from the Elder Wand (killing Voldemort?), the Resurrection Stone (Harry and Ron?), and the Invisibility Cloak (I have no idea on this one... it's useful in so many ways). I can't wait to see where they lead!
Severus' thoughts on the ambition of Voldemort five years out are interesting... it certainly does make you wonder - what would Tom have done had he won? Did he have a plan in place? I mean, the fear of ignominious death aside, what was really motivating his actions? What did he envision for the Wizarding world?
There's much that I enjoy in this chapter... the way they recognize each other as being, really, the only people left on earth (that we know of so far) who can really see one another is fantastic. Antarctica banter with penguins! 'Whoever had broken this man deserved to burn in hell.'What I found myself wishing I had here was Hermione's musings on her own sexual history. Was she a virgin before she was enslaved here? I found I wanted this when she first talked about her position as a whore with Snape as well... I just want it sometime. (Maybe it's coming up later? We'll see!) There seems to be space for her to say that she's still a virgin (so to speak) with a great deal of this as well. And defend her innocence. Since she never kissed Ron in the final battle (AU breaks off earlier here, right?), has she even been kissed?
Response from ofankoma (Reviewer)
(Because Severus very well may be right in trying to stop her... for her own peace of mind, certainly, and for the fact that she's been traumatised for years there. Another sexual experience now may not be helpful on the road to recovery, and he'd certainly be remiss if he didn't know the situation before letting her have her way with him...)
The harpsichord? That's hilarious. Does she tune it herself, as well? All the descriptions of this place add up to a bizarre, depressing, garish nightmare. It's like everyone tossed in their leftovers and out popped a brother, or several people's lives just vomited out all their extras on the (Voldemort-run) street.
Ah, Draco. I'm sad to hear he's lost. I have a soft spot for him as one of the people who gave Severus a will to go on in HBP and DH. I would have liked seeing your Snape deal with him.
That last long paragraph on the enigma of Snape? Spot on. It sums up why he's such a fascinating character in canon: powerful and powerless, beautiful and ugly, lauded and humiliated. The ambiguity of him is so rich, and not in the Dumbledore 'we sort too soon' sort of way, claiming that he's truly a Gryffindor at heart merely because he's on the side of good.
As to protection, well, that's another one of the strongest themes attached to him in canon, isn't it? He's constantly fighting to protect people - even people he despises -and he prepares them all to do the same. Your Hermione's a lucky girl...
Well done, you.
Hmm... "I, too, practice self-denial?" I think he might practice a few kinds of denial here, since he did just move to kiss her. (Of course, perhaps poor Severus doesn't know any better. He missed out on the 'What not to do whilst visiting a whorehouse' lesson in finishing school.) I greatly appreciate a post-DH Snape who doesn't know what to do with a woman... after all, when you poke around in canon, it seems fairly obvious that his social calendar was empty.
I also enjoy the dynamic you're setting up between Hermione and Peaches, the latter of whom is clearly in control of her own destiny in a way that Hermione just isn't... yet.
And...Harry and Ron? What?!?
Oh, gravy! Lime-green peignoirs and silver mules? This is a high class establishment poor Hermione's stuck in. (Although the lime-green clothing is oddly reminiscent of St. Mungo's...)
I love a phrase like "She floated in like a frigate in full sail." Really, the oppressing shabbiness of the place is overwhelming. I'm so very wary of new characters, so I'm really hoping I will like yours... Peaches, maybe yes? Ma, maybe no. Unless we do know Ma or Angel already and they're just under aliases like the Princess?
Drinking Cocoa enticed me back here to revisit this wonderful, deep, rich tale once again, when I should be doing my own writing and in other ways getting the heap of papers on my desk cleared and sorted (not to mention getting to bed at a decent hour). But, no, I had to swallow this beautiful work whole once again, rediscovering all its complexities and marvels, emotions and heatbreak, fascinations and intricacies. And it is now nearly 2am, and I can at last climb into my solitary little bed, wrapped in the warmth of some quite satisfying and delicious writing. Thank you.
Response from Aurette (Author of The Princess of Gryffindor)
I thank you, truly, for your revisiting this story. Nothing is more satisfying than knowing it is apreciated on a second reading as well. :-)
I give it five years before Brilliant figures out how to spell that journal open and gets the shock of her young life hahahaha.
Response from Aurette (Author of The Princess of Gryffindor)
LOL! Oh, that would be Brilliant! You need to write that fic!
Response from StarryEyedNoOne (Reviewer)
I haven't wrote HP fanfic since I was the age of a first year lol. I pray to any diety that's listening that NONE of it is still floating aroung out there. :-\
Response from Aurette (Author of The Princess of Gryffindor)
LOL! I understand. I once read that if you aren't embarrased by something you wrote a year ago, you are no longer growing as a writer. Hell, I get embarrassed over things I wrote last week...