I Keep Nothing

AN: A quick thank you to atopperindeath for polishing this to a shine. :)

Peaches had chosen wisely. In our business, being wise to potentially violent undercurrents could save a life. Peaches had obviously caught on to some of the dynamics between the two men and had chosen a dimly lit room that was not too big. It had two large beds that were situated across from each other. Now, it was up to us to keep the two men facing away from each other.

I was furious with myself. I should never have gotten mixed up in this. If I had left well enough alone, I would not have been there. Most of all, I would not be here right now. Usually, my mind has floated free long before I bring a man to the mattress. But, my mind was in the here and now and I was afraid. Afraid of violence, afraid of thinking, afraid of the fact that I was afraid. It never takes much for fear to turn to anger. I looked at Snape standing irresolutely just inside the door of the room and sneer. It was his fault. This skinny, pathetic excuse for a wizard. I wondered if he was gay. He looked like he could be.

Stop it, a voice inside said. There are many reasons to hate him. Stick to the truth. He killed Dumbledore. This is truth. I am a whore. This is truth. He's just another job. Deal with it.

I turned away when a tray of refreshments appeared on the table by the door. I reached for the unopened bottle of wine, turned, and presented it to Snape. He looked at me blankly, again seeming lost and confused and nervous. Peaches switched on the wizarding wireless and twirled in the middle of the room with a flourish. She draped herself across Macnair's lap where he sat on the end of the bed he had chosen. She got down to the business at hand. I turned back toward Snape to see him inspecting the wine. He pulled out his wand and with a flick the cork popped out. I took the bottle from him and filled the glasses. Bringing two glasses over to the other couple, I gave Macnair a toothy smile, stopping short of the saucy wink. I really didn't want to encourage him. I turned back towards Snape and selected two more glasses. Handing one to him, I took his arm and pulled him over to the other bed. I drank my wine in one go and sat the glass on the table by the bed. He just placed his down without even a sip.

He was stiff and uncomfortable. I assumed this was either his first time in a cathouse or his first time with an audience. I did my job and tried to make him more at ease but was lost right from the start. How does one make small talk in this situation? My mind was blank. I pushed him onto the end of the bed, and he sat down as stiffly as if he was facing a tribunal. I kicked off my heels and scrambled around behind him. Running my hands across his shoulders, I tried to draw the unbuttoned robes off. He jumped up and spun around to face me; his face was a mask, but the cords of his neck were standing out, and his Adam's apple was bobbing like mad.

"Problem, Snape?" Macnair drawled from his bed behind us. I saw Snape's eyes widen and slide to the side. I could not understand what was wrong. He knew this was what he agreed to downstairs when he possessively put his arm around me, but now he was acting like a fourteen-year-old being molested by his friend's drunken aunt at a party. I tried to convey the danger he was in with my eyes. He took a deep breath and dropped his head. His hair swung forward like curtains and shut out his face completely. I took this for surrender. All I had to do was prove he could perform. Right? So, I decided to skip the preliminaries and go for the trophy.

I reached out in front of me and grabbed his belt buckle. He flinched. I cleared my mind and got down to business. I could do this on autopilot, I had been for years. I could hear Peaches and Macnair starting to get on with it across the room. I unbuttoned the placket of his trousers, reached in, and pulled out his cock. It was uncut and completely flaccid. He smelled strongly of sweat, and it was obvious he had not bathed that day . It was unpleasant, but I had dealt with worse. I scooted closer to the end of the bed and took him in both hands. Gently, I palmed his cock and ran my fingertips down its length. I felt it stir. Thank Merlin, there was hope for the poor dumb bastard yet. Holding him in one hand, I reached into his trousers with the other and caressed his balls. I heard him draw in breath through his nose as I leaned forward and gulped the whole semi-hard length into my mouth, rolling my tongue around the head. A surge of blood made it harden and fill my mouth, expanding down my throat. I backed off before I gagged and killed the mood. He was breathing heavily now. I got to work setting up a rhythm, one hand juggling his balls gently, the other sliding up and down his length pulling the foreskin down while my mouth slid around the head. The moans and groans from the other couple almost drowned out the softly rasped "ohhhhh" from above. I felt his hand slide into my hair and caress my scalp. After a pause, I saw his other hand come up and take a lock of my hair and feel it. The down side of the charms is they work visually but do not mask tactile sensations. My hair looked silky but felt like shite. Leave it to Snape to analyze a hair sample while getting a blowjob. Git. I sucked harder on his cock, and his hiss told me his mind was back on task.

I quickened the rhythm, stroking and caressing his length and rolling his balls together as his hips started to flex, and he pumped shallowly into my mouth. Such a gentleman. My head bobbed up and down, and as I relaxed my throat to take more of him, he grabbed my shoulders to pull me up. I let go of his jewels and rose up until I was facing him, still kneeling on the bed. I looked at him with a question in my eyes. His lips were parted, and he was breathing hard. His face was flushed and his eyes, oh, his eyes. They were on fire. Fascinating. I felt a frisson of power. I did that. I made Severus Snape hungry with need. Then, he tried to kiss me. Still holding my shoulders, he pulled me towards his fiery black eyes, and I was caught up in their spell until I felt his thin lips graze mine. I reacted instinctively and turned away. He kissed my ear. I hated being kissed. Do anything else to my mouth but not that. I know the awkwardness is usually a mood killer; I have had this happen before and he is no different. The hands on my shoulders stiffened and released, and he tried to take a step back. I continued my motion as if nothing happened and reached for his hand. I smiled wickedly and started to suck on his fingers while reaching back for his deflating cock and giving it a few business-like strokes. His eyes were still guarded, but they did not go back to the flat, dead look he had before. I shifted back onto my heels and gestured towards the pillows. He nodded his head.

Shrugging out of his robes and kicking off his boots, he climbed onto the bed. He was still in his shirt and trousers and socks. One toe was sticking out. I shifted back onto the pillows while watching him advance on me. He raised up on his knees between my legs and looked down upon my body. A darting look at my hair gave away his thought. If the hair is a lie, what else is? How dare he have an opinion, the greasy bastard! At least I bathed regularly. I watched as his nasty hair swung forward and obscured his face. I thought to myself how nice his hair would be if he just washed it. His hand reached out like a blind man's until he touched my calf. Then both hands grasped it and he started to lightly caress my leg. One hand slid up to my knee while the other slid down toward my ankle. I realized he was visualizing my body without the glamours. I was starting to hate him all over again. His hands gently played up and down my thighs and across my hipbone. One hand spread out to caress the other hip. He was gentle. Always gentle. I tried to close my eyes and envision Snape as a gentle man. I failed. His touch was hesitant and unsure, yet determined. His jutting cock, bobbed with excitement whenever he discovered new territory. His hands stroked upward to my bony ribs, and he leaned forward to whisper in my ear.

"Do they not allow you enough food?" There it was again. His voice. It was the third time he had spoken that night, and it affected me. I felt my body responding. That had never happened before. Then his words sank in and any response my body may have had died.

I did not know what irritated me more, the apparent judgment from this bag of bones or the concern I heard in his voice. I stiffened with indignation. I chose the judgment. Concern smells like hope, and I gave up on that years ago.

"They offer us all we want," I hissed back.

His hand soothed down my flanks as if gentling a horse.

"Ah, then you chose self denial. This I understand," he replied. He pushed back and continued to explore my body. The touches became more soothing, as if apologetic. I relaxed under his touch. In some corner of my brain, this irritated me even more. He reached up and flipped his hair over one shoulder, casually, and I saw his face again. It was so open and full of wonder as he looked down at my body. His hand skimmed across the side of my breast as if unsure of its welcome. I found myself getting caught up in this act of discovery. Not sexually, more intellectually. I watched his wonder, and I felt wonder. I reached up and ran my hand over his shirt and feet his chest underneath. I was surprised. I expected to feel his ribs, but what I felt was solid muscle. Surprised, I ran both hands up to his shoulders and down to his biceps. They were strong. This man was very strong indeed. I found myself wishing we were alone so he would not be so self contained. I would have liked to see his body.

As if my thought called to them, Peaches suddenly cried out loudly, and Macnair started yelling encouragement, laced with vulgarities. I could tell Peaches was going for one of her world-class fake orgasms. The spell I was under popped like a bubble. Back to work.

I reached down and caressed his cock again. Snape sucked in air. I guess a little warning would have been in order. I started to pump him again and reached for his hand and brought it to my breast; he was going to take too long to get there, and we had an audience to appease. His hips started to flex again, and he gave the quietest of groans as his hand clutched at my breast. I reached up and pulled the ribbon holding my top together, and it fell apart, revealing my breasts. I kept myself from smirking as his eyes bugged out and his mouth fell open. Men. I guided him down by lifting my legs and wrapping them around his thighs. He let out a chuff of breath and settled into position. His arms were on either side of my chest as his hips moved up eagerly. I laughed as I reached down and pulled my panties to the side out of the way. Off would have been better but wonder boy was getting impatient. I think that was when the truth started to dawn on me, but I was busy working details and not thinking. He poked and prodded and missed until I captured him in my hand and guided him to the right place. A little spit works wonders and he slid right in. Nice-sized package, I have to say. It was the strangled howl and the crushing pressure as his arms snapped tight around my torso followed by the absolute stillness on top of me that made all the pieces snap together. Oh god. How could this be? The man was a Death Eater for crying out loud! But the signs had been there all along, and I was blind to them. The nervous skittishness, the blushes, the fumbling touches and the absolute self-consciousness. So very un-Snape-like. I had thought before that this was either his first time in a brothel or his first time with an audience. It never crossed my mind that this was his first time, full stop.

I was uncharacteristically touched by this revelation. I craned my head to see his face pressed firmly into the mattress just below my armpit. I stroked his arched back with one hand and the back of his head with the other. He took a shuddering breath, and started to relax, and lifted his head up to look at me. We held each other's gaze long enough to establish that the truth was out. His face was a blank mask. I tried to keep gentle reassurance on mine, but I think it was laced with a strange form of pride of ownership; I do not know. My feelings were a jumble. I was confused to have feelings at all while in bed with a man.

I rocked my hips gently, and his eyes fluttered closed. He took the hint and started to thrust. Again, his mouth dropped open. I tried not to notice his yellowed teeth, but it became harder as he clenched them. His grip was still tight around me, his arms long enough to feel like they wrapped around twice. He set an erratic rhythm that I tried to follow. He hunched over until it looked like his back would break, I swear his forehead touched my navel as his hips snapped back and forth. I was so caught up in the curiosity of the moment, that I did not even notice that Macnair had come along the side of the bed and was watching. It wasn't until he stuck his semi-limp cock in my face and told me to suck it that Snape saw him. His reaction was unbelievably fast. It seemed one moment Snape was pounding away at my body, and the next, I had been pulled up off the bed with my face pressed to his shoulder while Macnair stared wide-eyed at Snape's wand in his face.

"I. Do. Not. Share." Just like that.

Macnair backed away. You could see in his face he was rapidly reassessing his opinion of Snape. He threw his hands up and smiled as if it was all a joke as he looked around to find his trousers. I looked over Snape's shoulder at Peaches who stood there stunned. I was terribly confused. I had thought this man was somehow fragile and in danger. But, quick as lightning, the danger had shifted to a new source. I stayed tucked up into his chest as Snape followed Macnair around the room with both his eyes and his wand. Macnair shrugged on his shirt and looked back at us with a snide expression.

"Easy, Severus. I get it now. You must have been wanting to fuck that little bitch for a long time back at Hogwarts. I won't spoil your fun. Next time, maybe, eh?" He barked a horrid laugh and, grabbing Peaches, swept out of the room. The door closed with a bang. I was still impaled on Snape's cock, and I felt it start to soften immediately at Macnair's words. He spun his face around to look at me, and his expression was ashen.

"That's not true," he whispered, his voice cracking.

"I know," I responded.

He stared at me intently, still clutching me to his chest, as if needing something from me. I didn't know what it was. I just stared back in confusion. Now fully limp, his cock slipped out of me. He dropped his head and closed his eyes. Slowly, he let me back down on the bed, then shifted and stood up, turning quickly away to adjust his clothes.

"You don't have to stop," I said, scrambling to get off the bed. I don't know why, but I felt such a loss.

"You don't have to continue," he replied. He sat on the bed and started to work his feet into his boots. "You did what you set out to do. I thank you."

"But you...but we..." my words trailed off. "But you never got to finish." Oh, yes, that was brilliant. Remind the man that he is still half a virgin. My brain had taken a holiday, for sure.

He looked back at me calmly as he shrugged into his robes and started to button them up.

"I, too, practice self denial," he said quietly.

Oh, merciful fate. Was the man a celibate? Had I corrupted him? Suddenly, I felt like such a dirty whore. I clutched my negligee trying to cover my nakedness. Shame made a noise like a buzzing in my ears.

"I am so sorry," I whispered, my eyes cast down towards the floor.

He came towards me and lifted my chin with a finger.

"Don't be. Don't ever be."

He reached into his robes and pulled out several Galleons, and, taking my hand, he pressed them into the palm.

"This is for you."

"No."

"I insist."

"It's a waste."

"You are not a waste, Hermione."

Oh, Harry, he said my name. Harry?

A sob broke from my throat.

"They take it. They do not allow us to keep our tips. You are throwing your money away."

"What do they allow you to keep?" he asked.

"I keep nothing."

Ron? Where are you?

I heard the door close gently behind him. I remember nothing after that.