A Man of Some Means
Chapter 9 of 40
AuretteSeverus makes a few reasonable demands, and Hermione collects her thoughts.
ReviewedThanks to astopperindeath, for her fabulous beta work!
A soft chime sounded at first light, and I stirred. When I opened my eyes, it was to find Severus dressed and perched on the bed watching me. I gave him a sleepy smile and watched his black eyes soften just a little. They seemed to have lost their dead look, and I wondered if mine had too.
"Good morning."
"Good morning to you too. You're an early riser, aren't you? We still have an hour before Ma comes banging on the door."
"We have a few more things to discuss."
He stood up from the bed, and I heard the sounds of tea things. I rolled out of bed and slipped into the loo. After a quick wash, I joined him, tugging at my attire in an attempt to feel less undressed. He noticed my actions, and with his wand he transfigured what I was wearing into a plain set of robes. I gave a happy cry and threw my arms around him. When I stepped back, he looked like he couldn't decide between proud or mortified. Two bright spots of color high on his cheeks offset the little smile barely seen at the corners of his mouth. He bought some time to get himself in order by reaching down and grabbing a bowl of porridge and shoving it into my hands.
"First off, it will take some time for me to be in a position to fulfill my vow. So in the meantime, I expect you to take better care of yourself. I cannot save you if you believe you are beyond saving. You will eat, and you will watch how much you drink." A part of me wanted to tell him to go stuff himself, but I was mostly bemused by the return of Professor Snape. As he strode back and forth in front of the fire, admonishing me to take care what I say and do, my mind cast back to watching him stride across the floor of his classroom. My thoughts scattered when I heard him mention Macnair's name.
"Pardon? What about Macnair?" He actually glared at me for that. I couldn't help my smile.
"I said: Be on your guard against Macnair. He might try to see if I am vulnerable by getting at you. You should do your best not to call attention to yourself, or better yet disparage me, if the opportunity comes up."
"Are you?"
"Am I what?"
"Are you vulnerable through me?"
He stopped pacing and dropped his gaze down to the floor, his fists clenched at his side. "Yes," he said quietly, then raised his eyes to me in anguish, "but I cannot show it."
"I understand," I answered, and then, to let him understand my part, I said, "Terrible things have happened to me here, Severus. I will survive what comes. I found out years ago I am not allowed to die." His face contorted as if in pain, but he got command of it again.
"Hermione, it could be a very long time."
I nodded, and then a light went on.
"But you have a plan. "
He looked at me like I was daft.
"Of course I have a bloody plan!" Of course he did. He was Slytherin. He never would have taken that vow without a plan.
"Yes, well, be careful with it. My experience is plans go terribly wrong."
"Only when there are too many Gryffindors involved," he quipped, and then looked instantly contrite. I smiled sadly, as tears filled my eyes.
"Just one left."
He came around the table and wrapped his arms around me. We stayed like that until the next chime tolled for checkout. He pulled out his wand and, with a muttered incantation, changed back into the nondescript man from the night before. He pulled out some galleons and handed them to me. When I started to protest he told me it would look suspicious if a man booked me for the entire night and didn't tip. After making me gag down his Vitamin Infusion and Strengthening Solutions, despite my protests that I did not need them, and then returning my robes to their previous state at my insistence, we were at the door and it was time to say our good byes.
"How will we be able talk? When will I see you again?" I asked, clutching at his arm. He peeled my fingers off and gave me a long suffering sigh.
"The same way we did last night," he said, as if I was dimwitted.
"But Severus, the cost alone--" The money last night had cost him had been considerable.
"I am a man of some means, Hermione," he said with pride. My face must have reflected my utter rejection of this idea because he scowled, clearly insulted. "Just see to yourself, eat, stay out of trouble and be patient." With that he pecked me on the top of my head and swirled out the door.
A man of some means, indeed. Why would someone of measure let themselves dress and look so dreadful? He did look somewhat better last evening, but when he first turned up he looked only one step above a Knockturn Alley tramp. Standing on the landing, I listened to the fluttering voice of Ma settling up accounts and then heard the firm snap of the front door.
As I made my way up to the attic to get some more sleep, I contemplated the events of the night. Severus Snape had returned because he had heard a rumor I was ill. He brewed me potions he thought I might need to get better. The same man then made an Unbreakable Vow to find a way to make me safe. And lest I forget, he all but admitted what side he was on during the war, as much as a Slytherin admits anything, anyway. He had basically handed me his life in an incredibly Gryffindor manner. Any of these facts would have sealed his doom with the Ministry, and he never even asked for my silence or discretion. He trusted me. He trusted me with his life. There was no question that I would make myself worthy of that trust. Even if he could find no way to take me away from here, he had already freed me. For that, I would be eternally grateful.
I dropped the tips he had given me into the collection box marked "Princess." I was tempted to hold back one of the coins just to keep as evidence the night was real, but I knew it would be discovered, and I would get a in trouble. He had told me to take care of myself, and so I would. I would do anything he asked.
I tried to reconcile the man that swirled out of the bedroom in a billow of tan robes with the hunched over, broken man from a few weeks ago as I peeled off my clothes and tossed them into the hamper. There was such a marked difference. After his story of what happened to him during and after the war and the between the lines revelations, I started to understand what he was when he appeared in the lounge that night. He was just as broken as I had thought. I could well imagine what it would have done to a proud man like Snape to have the cause he had worked so hard for, that he had sacrificed so much for, be completely and utterly destroyed in what he called 'thirty minutes of swift, little agonies.' To not have any one person left alive on the planet that he would be happy to see. To have lived with the guilt of what he had done for a lost cause. I could well imagine the depths of pain he must have suffered to play out the role thrust upon him, to destroy his own godson, thinking his cover might still serve to protect those that were left, only to find they were all dead already.
One thing that confused me was the fact that he was still alive. Even my incomplete knowledge of my suffering caused me to repeatedly try to end my life throughout that first year of hell. The fact that I am still here is due to the determination that I be made to suffer as long as humanly possible. I was not allowed to die. Unable to take my own life, I was also unable to provoke a patron of the Brown Room into a killing rage. It took me several attempts to realize there were charms on the room to alert the house when the violence was close to becoming fatal. I thought of the lengths of deranged creativity I had gone to, trying to find death, and could not understand why Snape, Potions master and Death Eater, free man, could not have accomplished the same. It would have been fast and easy for a man of his accomplishments. He had lost everything, his honor, his dignity, his soul, his friends and companions, his purpose and any prestige he may have once had amongst the sick cabal he had joined as an angry teenager. What made him survive? The man that had been dragged out into the light to stand in the center of a whorehouse lounge and be laughed at was all that had been left of a once bright warrior.
Something had changed within him since that night. The broken warrior had come back, slightly less seedy, slightly more powerful, but still intensely vulnerable. And this same broken warrior had pledged himself to me. I remember his words from earlier in the night, said so quietly they were almost missed. 'Perhaps I needed a cause.'
The enormity of that statement became overwhelming, and I crashed down onto my hard, little bed. This man, who had survived years in duplicitous service to the Dark Lord, who had languished but lived through the five long years after the defeat of everything and everyone he held dear, had made me his cause. He would secure my safety or die trying. Why? Why would he do such a stupid thing? Why bother surviving at all just to pledge your probable death for a whore?
Well, it was obvious he trusted me. Somehow, I had done something to earn that. I would just have to trust him. After all, he had a plan, didn't he?
What an amazing, stupid man. An amazing, stupid man who was an amazing, earnest lover. As I lay under my thin blanket in the early morning light, I contemplated the absurdities of life that would make such a broken man the best lover a whore had ever had. I rolled over and closed my eyes. Lulled by the soft snores of the other girls around me, I started to drift away, my mind filled with the fire in his eyes when he held me.
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Latest 25 Reviews for The Princess of Gryffindor
597 Reviews | 6.94/10 Average
I agree with Mick42 in the sense that I don't like the Voldemort won/everyone's dead/Hermione's a whore stories. I avoid them like the plague. I decided to give this one a go based on the reviews. I was very, very skeptical. There were aspects to the writing that I didn't like, such as it being written in first person, but the memorial scene alone made it well worth the read. I may have shed a tear (or 10).
Wow...just wow. Now I know why all of these other reviewers have shed a tear. I am a mess. Still smiling tho'! Captivating read. Kudos!
Yay, all finished. It's been a while since I've read this, so I had forgotten a lot of the details in the ending chapters, but I still love it as much as I did the first time I read it. You have my in tears reading the end couple of chapters now, but that's terribly easy to do to a pregnant woman, so don't worry too much lol.
I just love Snape, have I ever mentioned that? I do. And it's stuff like this in stories- him vowing to protect Hermione- that make me love him even more..
This is one I've read before, on ffnet I think, but I have to read it here too, it just seems impossible not to reread your favorite stories when you come across them somewhere. The bonus is that you already know you love the story, even if you can't remember all the details between point A and A.D.
My dear Aurette,I have spent half of yesterday and all of today re-reading this unbelievable story. Half of the time, I've been a sobbing, sopping mess - when S&H were gathering forces and found people who were still alive, the whole Harry and Ron speaking to Hermione from the great beyond, the memorial scene (holy crap, talk about sobbing!), reuniting with Minerva's ghost, and the list goes on. I love the plot of the story. I love your numerous OCs. I love how the young DEs revolt. I love how forces from all sides join together to fight the Dark Lord. I love the romance between S&H. I love how utterly vulnerable he is to her, and she to him. I love how wizarding society hero-worships Snape in the end. I love So Many Things about this story. If my heart could take it, I'd start it all over again, but I really wasn't exaggerating when I said I was sobbing half the time I was reading. This might sound odd, but reading this today, US Memorial Day, just makes it seem even more poignant. But I do think it's honoring to RL sacrifices by reading about fictional ones. Thank you so much for this absolutely wonderful story, and for giving me such an enjoyable (if teary and snotty) way to spend my day off.Love,Christev
Response from Aurette (Author of The Princess of Gryffindor)
{{{hugs}}}What a beautiful thing to say. I am deeply touched and honored. Thank you, Christev.
Response from Aurette (Author of The Princess of Gryffindor)
{{{hugs}}}What a beautiful thing to say. I am deeply touched and honored. Thank you, Christev.
Heartbreaking and wonderful and worth rereading. Thank you for sharing this.
Response from Aurette (Author of The Princess of Gryffindor)
I'm so glad you enjoyed. ;-)
Just re-read this and had to mention: Best Epilogue Ever. Why couldn't you have given JK a few pointers? ;-p
Response from Aurette (Author of The Princess of Gryffindor)
LOL! She never asked... Thank you!
I've just flown through the last several chapters, held in thrall to this story! This is just genius, you know, starting at a place of total desolation - this terrible post-war dystopia - and taking all the elements from DH (the prophecy from Severus, the Hallows, even walking beside the dead and moving with them before returning to earth - thanks particularly for including Draco with the others), using them as they were meant to be used, finding another way of stopping Voldemort and reenvisioning a new world in the aftermath.
And I love seeing Snape marked as the Man Who Lived! And a father! And the Minister! (And that proposal? Mmm-hmm... clearly, he has caught on to everything Hermione's been teaching him!)
You strike such a great balance between comedy and high drama. It's such a pleasure to read.
Oh, Goyle. Goyles will be Goyles, I suppose!"I think you have just been metaphorically peed on." Oh, I love this line... particularly since Severus' possessiveness towards Hermione is such a strong part of his character (which is why his reluctant willingness to 'share' Hermione rather than lose her was SO terribly shocking).
Response from Aurette (Author of The Princess of Gryffindor)
Thank you! And I think, by his behavior in this chapter, you can see he tacitly took those words... back.
Response from ofankoma (Reviewer)
Oh, absolutely! That's what's so marvelous to see in this Snape. He acts impulsively so often, and then immediately knows that it's not what he really wanted, and is slowly learning to keep it all in check as he accepts the fact that she really loves him and that he's truly safe with her.
Response from Aurette (Author of The Princess of Gryffindor)
Hannah and Neville! Woo-hoo! (You can just feel the little triumphs along the way - things are getting brighter all the time!) And the lack of trust between all parties involved... yes, that feels completely, completely believable.(Also,I don't know that I've ever met an original character that I've liked, but Peaches is fantastic. Just fantastic. You make me change my mind on a lot of things, I think...)
Response from Aurette (Author of The Princess of Gryffindor)
I intentionally started this tale as dark as I could make it, and then slowly let the light in. Neville and Hannah were such a beacon of hope...
Ah, the trust between the two as they examine the girls! And her red robes... yes, I imagine Severus doesn't want Hermione in anything less than a high-necked robe in front of her old beau.
Response from Aurette (Author of The Princess of Gryffindor)
Trust is something they thought they had, but as you can see, they are both too emotionally unsophisticated to not end up with issues.
Whoa, whoa, whoa... Elder Goyle and Ma are two revelations here, aren't they? As for the former, it really makes me wonder (again and again) what Voldemort's plan was 'when' he won. Why cheat Death if you have nothing to live for? For someone as hypothetically long-sighted as he was (looking to an eternity of power and control over the wizarding world), he's remarkably short-sighted here (what do you do now that you've won?). You raise all sorts of fascinating questions here. And Ma, with the Veritaserum? Grand.
Response from Aurette (Author of The Princess of Gryffindor)
Ma was intended to just be a stock vilain, but she elbowed her way toward three dimentional. I was very happy with the way she worked out.
The robes! Wonderful, wonderful, all around, from Hermione's comfort in them and the note exchange.Charlie and Viktor? You're really getting things moving here, aren't you? Momentum. You're really a master with creating a momentum that just pulls a reader through the story. I don't mean just here, but everything I've read up til now - it's so well paced and unfolds so naturally. In case I haven't said this in a chapter or two, thanks so much for sharing this.
Response from Aurette (Author of The Princess of Gryffindor)
I was very attuned to the pacing of this tale. It was my very first mult-chaptered fic and getting the pacing down right was one of my primary concerns. Thank you so much for reviewing it!
Hooray! I love what you've done with Theo Nott. The second guessing and the regret shows how easy it was for misguided, then-ambivalent people to latch on to Voldemort's coat tails. (Cloak tails?) Very like Severus at that age, no?You're also hilarious, but I suspect you know that. "Conjure myself some decent clothes?" FABULOUS.
Response from Aurette (Author of The Princess of Gryffindor)
Exactly! I saw Theo as not being wildly different from young Snape, just perhaps a bit more entitled. I am so glad you liked this.
Wow. There are so many things I love, love, love in this chapter. First off, the relationship between Severus and the Malfoys. (Ach, and the horror of their deaths!) Next, Dumbledore's attitude. I, for one, have a tendency to vilify the man. Reading the repentance he shows here makes me rethink a lot of things about him. (So thank you for challenging me!) But you're right - we have a lot of evidence in DH that there are many unspoken things in his past that explain his present actions. And, of course, it's just a relief to see that he finally has someone to tell all this to, someone who will care for him and stand by him through it all. This is just wonderful, and I'm completely loving your writing and this story!
Response from Aurette (Author of The Princess of Gryffindor)
I also have a tendancy to vilify Dumbledore, but I know that was never JKR's intention, so every so often I try and reset my thinking. Then I backslide. lol.
There are so many reasons I love this story... wonderful narrative flow, seamless incorporation of canon devices (Hallows! Can't wait to see them in action!), a fresh perspective on the nature of evil in the Voldemort regime, a place to see regrets worked out and atoned for.But the single greatest reason why this is so fabulous is your clear vision of your characters. What we know of them from JKR is fleshed out so beautifully here, and it's not a happy-go-lucky, cleaned up and sanitized version of the very broken people we know (and love), but a hard look at the mistakes they make and how they learn together to move on and forgive one another in a much deeper understanding of who the other really is.
Response from Aurette (Author of The Princess of Gryffindor)
This chapter was my impetus for writing the whole fic. I wanted to get to this scene. Of course, once I did, I then had a Ministry to over throw... lol.
Oh, now that's interesting... incorporating the Hallows? I think this means we'll get to see some action from the Elder Wand (killing Voldemort?), the Resurrection Stone (Harry and Ron?), and the Invisibility Cloak (I have no idea on this one... it's useful in so many ways). I can't wait to see where they lead!
Severus' thoughts on the ambition of Voldemort five years out are interesting... it certainly does make you wonder - what would Tom have done had he won? Did he have a plan in place? I mean, the fear of ignominious death aside, what was really motivating his actions? What did he envision for the Wizarding world?
There's much that I enjoy in this chapter... the way they recognize each other as being, really, the only people left on earth (that we know of so far) who can really see one another is fantastic. Antarctica banter with penguins! 'Whoever had broken this man deserved to burn in hell.'What I found myself wishing I had here was Hermione's musings on her own sexual history. Was she a virgin before she was enslaved here? I found I wanted this when she first talked about her position as a whore with Snape as well... I just want it sometime. (Maybe it's coming up later? We'll see!) There seems to be space for her to say that she's still a virgin (so to speak) with a great deal of this as well. And defend her innocence. Since she never kissed Ron in the final battle (AU breaks off earlier here, right?), has she even been kissed?
Response from ofankoma (Reviewer)
(Because Severus very well may be right in trying to stop her... for her own peace of mind, certainly, and for the fact that she's been traumatised for years there. Another sexual experience now may not be helpful on the road to recovery, and he'd certainly be remiss if he didn't know the situation before letting her have her way with him...)
The harpsichord? That's hilarious. Does she tune it herself, as well? All the descriptions of this place add up to a bizarre, depressing, garish nightmare. It's like everyone tossed in their leftovers and out popped a brother, or several people's lives just vomited out all their extras on the (Voldemort-run) street.
Ah, Draco. I'm sad to hear he's lost. I have a soft spot for him as one of the people who gave Severus a will to go on in HBP and DH. I would have liked seeing your Snape deal with him.
That last long paragraph on the enigma of Snape? Spot on. It sums up why he's such a fascinating character in canon: powerful and powerless, beautiful and ugly, lauded and humiliated. The ambiguity of him is so rich, and not in the Dumbledore 'we sort too soon' sort of way, claiming that he's truly a Gryffindor at heart merely because he's on the side of good.
As to protection, well, that's another one of the strongest themes attached to him in canon, isn't it? He's constantly fighting to protect people - even people he despises -and he prepares them all to do the same. Your Hermione's a lucky girl...
Well done, you.
Hmm... "I, too, practice self-denial?" I think he might practice a few kinds of denial here, since he did just move to kiss her. (Of course, perhaps poor Severus doesn't know any better. He missed out on the 'What not to do whilst visiting a whorehouse' lesson in finishing school.) I greatly appreciate a post-DH Snape who doesn't know what to do with a woman... after all, when you poke around in canon, it seems fairly obvious that his social calendar was empty.
I also enjoy the dynamic you're setting up between Hermione and Peaches, the latter of whom is clearly in control of her own destiny in a way that Hermione just isn't... yet.
And...Harry and Ron? What?!?
Oh, gravy! Lime-green peignoirs and silver mules? This is a high class establishment poor Hermione's stuck in. (Although the lime-green clothing is oddly reminiscent of St. Mungo's...)
I love a phrase like "She floated in like a frigate in full sail." Really, the oppressing shabbiness of the place is overwhelming. I'm so very wary of new characters, so I'm really hoping I will like yours... Peaches, maybe yes? Ma, maybe no. Unless we do know Ma or Angel already and they're just under aliases like the Princess?
Drinking Cocoa enticed me back here to revisit this wonderful, deep, rich tale once again, when I should be doing my own writing and in other ways getting the heap of papers on my desk cleared and sorted (not to mention getting to bed at a decent hour). But, no, I had to swallow this beautiful work whole once again, rediscovering all its complexities and marvels, emotions and heatbreak, fascinations and intricacies. And it is now nearly 2am, and I can at last climb into my solitary little bed, wrapped in the warmth of some quite satisfying and delicious writing. Thank you.
Response from Aurette (Author of The Princess of Gryffindor)
I thank you, truly, for your revisiting this story. Nothing is more satisfying than knowing it is apreciated on a second reading as well. :-)
I give it five years before Brilliant figures out how to spell that journal open and gets the shock of her young life hahahaha.
Response from Aurette (Author of The Princess of Gryffindor)
LOL! Oh, that would be Brilliant! You need to write that fic!
Response from StarryEyedNoOne (Reviewer)
I haven't wrote HP fanfic since I was the age of a first year lol. I pray to any diety that's listening that NONE of it is still floating aroung out there. :-\
Response from Aurette (Author of The Princess of Gryffindor)
LOL! I understand. I once read that if you aren't embarrased by something you wrote a year ago, you are no longer growing as a writer. Hell, I get embarrassed over things I wrote last week...