The Birth of a Family

Huge thanks to my wonderful, anonymous beta! Please review, I'm addicted to reviews!

------------------

Chapter 5 – The Birth of a Family

A week later, Dumbledore Flooed into Snape's sitting room. He happily viewed the homey scene. There was Severus, holding Harry on his lap as he graded papers, talking to him about what a wonderful Potions master he was going to become.

"Don't you think that is a bit premature, Severus?" the Headmaster teased.

"No, I do not! His mother was the brightest witch in school and the most brilliant mind at Potions Hogwarts has ever seen. With her talent in his blood and my help, he'll be a natural!" he answered smugly.

Albus smiled at the young wizard. He had never seen Severus so happy. It was so apparent that he loved little Harry Potter as much as he loved Harry's mother. It was bittersweet to see the child of Severus' former nemesis receive such adoration from him.

His face grew dark. "Severus, where is Lily? I must speak with both of you. It is extremely important," he said gravely.

"What has happened, Headmaster?" Snape asked worriedly as he held Harry closer to him.

"I'll wait until we all can talk about this together. Let me take Harry to Minerva. He doesn't need to be upset."

"Headmaster..." he began.

"Trust me, Severus," he said kindly as he left with little Harry.

Lily came out from the bathroom in her robe. She had finished taking a shower.

"Sev, where is Harry?" she asked.

"Dumbledore took him to Minerva," he answered absent-mindedly. He pulled his thoughts together and said, "He needs to speak with us about something important."

"I'll get dressed then," she answered. She had a bad feeling about this.

She came out later and saw Dumbledore had returned. She sat next to Severus and he placed his arm around her. The Headmaster noted that the young widow did not mind his show of affection.

"Something has happened to Sirius and I need you to wait and let me finish before you ask your questions," he said darkly.

"Today, in Muggle London, there was an incident between Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew."

Lily gasped, but Dumbledore continued.

"According to the eye-witness, all who were Muggles, Peter confronted Sirius. It sounded as if he were accusing Sirius of working for Tom."

At this, Severus stiffened. Lily turned to look into his face, but Dumbledore did not stop.

"A duel ensued and Sirius murdered Pettigrew, along with a dozen Muggles near-by the blast. It was a horrible sight. It took many Hit Wizards to take Sirius down, and then the Magical Squad had to modify all the minds of the Muggles who'd witnessed the fight. In short, Sirius is in Azkaban awaiting trial for murder."

He sat down and waited for the questions he knew they wanted to ask.

Lily looked in pain. Tears spilled down her cheeks. "Why? He loved James! Peter's dead? Why is this happening to us? I can't take any more of this!" she screamed. She doubled over clutching her hair in her hands, sobbing. Severus gathered her into his arms and held her to him, trying to calm and soothe her.

He spoke softly to Dumbledore as he comforted the crying Lily. "Sir, I am truly shocked. You know there is no love lost between Black and I, but this is not the type of behavior that one would expect from him! I have never heard of Black even being remotely involved with the Dark Lord."

"Are you sure, Severus? Are you positive you have never heard anyone speak of Black?" the older wizard whispered.

"No. I can go speak with Lucius, he may know more. Nevertheless, I cannot fathom this, Headmaster. Black is many things, but he was always loyal to those he counted friends."

Lily lifted her head from Severus' chest. "You're going to talk to Lucius Malfoy? It's true? You are a Death Eater still?" she shrieked.

Dumbledore placed a hand on her shoulder and hushed her. "Lily, Severus has been working undercover as a spy for over a year now. He came to me shortly after Harry was born. He is no longer a true Death Eater. He's a member of the Order."

Lily relaxed in Snape's arms and embraced him. "Please, Sev, be careful. Harry and I need you," she whispered.

Snape kissed her forehead and held her tightly to him. "No one will ever harm you or Harry, I swear it! I'll kill anyone who dares to try!" He looked defiantly at the older wizard. He knew Snape was telling the truth. He gave a swift nod in agreement. Snape knew then that he had Dumbledore's permission to kill anyone who stood in his path.

He whispered to Lily his need to leave and speak to Malfoy. As he left, Lily turned to Dumbledore and said, "I want my son. Please bring Harry to me."

Dumbledore patted Lily on the cheek and went to retrieve her son from Minerva. Lily sat on the sofa with her legs tight against her chest. She was petrified. She had no one, it seemed outside these walls. It was so horrible. Oh, poor, sweet Peter...how could he be so foolish? she thought. How close had she come to following Sirius and leaving Severus? Too close. She and James had named a murderer as godfather to their son. A cold shiver ran down her back. Remus. She had to make sure Remus would be safe now. He was all that was left of happier days. However, there was one caveat: Severus would never accept Remus, there was far too much bad blood. He had never forgiven Remus for his near-death experience. Lily believed he feared Remus more than hated him, but there was Harry to consider, and she knew Severus would never allow Harry near Remus. Strange, how Severus treats Harry like his son more and more as time passes! she thought.

She wondered if she could love Severus as she had loved James. They were so different, but they both had loved her desperately. Perhaps she could grow to love Severus in time. They could have a nice life here, she could help him with Potions, and they could raise Harry together...

***

She began to crawl into Severus' bed late at night when she had nightmares, which was often. Sirius' conviction and life-long sentence in Azkaban took a great deal out of her. She was depressed and scared so much of the time; she needed to understand how the people she had loved and trusted could be taken from her so violently.

He told her everything and spared nothing. He told her of his defection, how he had confessed to Dumbledore everything he had overheard about the Prophecy and then his horror when he realized he had played a part in sealing their fates.

She scrambled out of the bed and stood shaking in her nightgown.

"You asked him to spare me and to kill my husband and son?" she asked with horror.

Snape was too terrified to move. He stayed in the bed sitting, imploring her to understand. "Yes," he confessed. "I did. Later, I came to myself. I knew he wouldn't...I honestly thought he had lied to me. That was when I told Dumbledore to hide all of you, to keep ALL of you safe."

She was silent for a long time. She wrapped her arms around herself. She didn't know if she could face him.

She kept her back to him. "How could you be so cold? How could you wish for Harry to die?" she said in a whispered scream. "I can understand your hatred of James...but my baby is innocent!"

He slowly climbed out of the bed. "I know, Lily. I know. My anger and hate grew to such proportions that I hate myself for even thinking about what I asked the Dark Lord to do, let alone actually going through with it. That was what propelled me to seek out Dumbledore. I hated what I had become. Then, after Dumbledore showed me what a beastly person I was, I asked him to keep all of you safe. I didn't want the bastard to continue his blood war! Too much had already been lost...too many lives had been broken," he admitted sadly.

He took her face in his hands. "I am so sorry, Lily. It pains me to see you hurt, knowing I was the cause of it. I know you really loved him. I had no part in the betrayal that brought the Dark Lord to your door that night. I loved you enough to let you go! That's what I did! The moment I told Dumbledore to hide you and your family, I knew that was the end of my dream. I accepted that you would never be mine."

Lily wanted to say that she still would never be his, that nothing could change, but she couldn't. He needed her, and Harry needed him. It was all so complicated!

"That is incredible you can accept my love for James, Severus," she whispered.

He looked at her and sighed. "It's all in the past, Lily. I can start letting it all go: the anger, bitterness, and hatred. You and Harry have been a healing salve on my soul. Lily, I will work every day at being a man you can be proud of if you would let me stay a part of your life! Even if only ever friends," he said fiercely.

She stroked his face. "You really love me, don't you?"

"I love you and Harry," he said honestly. "I think perhaps that's why I know I can let the past go. I see James in Harry, but it doesn't bother me. I still love him."

Lily felt her eyes swell with tears. He was truly becoming the man she had always hoped he would be. For the first time, she felt a hope for them...a future. For the first time, she felt that perhaps one day she would be able to tell him she loved him and truly mean it.

***

They took that time together the next few nights snuggling under the covers to talk about the past. They laughed at the little experiments they had made as children, fiddling with potions. They talked about the difficult years, trying to keep their friendship alive when pressures from without and within pulled at them. They talked about that terrible day when he had called her a Mudblood, and he cried as he apologized to her over and over. She forgave him everything as long as he promised to sever all allegiances to the Death Eaters. He swore his love and loyalty to her.

"Lily, I never stopped loving you," he confessed. "I swear I will from this moment on live to destroy any remnants of the Dark Lord's following." She snuggled closer to him, her face inches from his.

"I hate that you are in so much pain," he whispered as he lost himself in her emerald eyes.

"Make me forget, Sev. Make me feel again," she begged softly as she leaned into him.

He stiffened in his embrace. "Lily, no. I don't want you to feel you need to do this. Only if you want to because you truly care for me that way," he said painfully.

She held onto him tightly. "But that's it, Sev. I do care for you!" She caressed his cheek with her hand as she brushed her lips lightly against his. "You are such a good man, you love me and Harry so much! You make me feel so safe, I want to, Sev. I want to make love to the man who has loved me nearly all my life. I want you."

She moved from his embrace, cinched up her nightgown, pulled it over her head, and returned to his arms.

"Lily," he breathed as he looked at her naked body. "You are so perfect."

"Barely!" she said derisively. "I have stretch marks and my breasts changed so much after I stopped breast feeding."

"No, Lily. You are beautiful. I never knew what beauty was until the day I saw you, and that has never changed. You will never change. You will always be beauty to me...my beauty," he whispered as he kissed her.

She saw the greed and lust in his eyes and she was a bit afraid of what she saw. He descended on her and ran his warm hands all over her creamy skin. He was almost beside himself with joy. Lily was going to be his! He had fantasized about this for years and now it was coming true: he was making love to Lily. His Lily.

He buried his face in her red hair and inhaled her scent as he massaged and teased her breasts. She was moaning as he lightly twisted her nipples.

"Tell me, Lily, what gives you the most pleasure?" he whispered in her ear. "Let me satisfy you."

She blushed. She had never said these things to anyone but James. She started to squirm, and Snape sensed her discomfort.

"Lily," he said as he looked into her eyes, "I won't lie to you. I have loved you since the moment I first saw you. I was a fool once to let you slip from my life, but now you are here, and I want to show you with my body how much I adore you. Lily, don't be ashamed to let me show you."

"Would you kiss me...down there?" she whispered shyly.

He captured her lips in a kiss. "Nothing would give me more pleasure, Lily."

He lowered himself between her legs and inhaled her scent. She was a goddess. He was gentle at first, kissing her thighs, working his way to her core, but then as her moans grew and her scent grew stronger, he lost all decorum. He wanted to taste everything of her. He paid close attention to what she liked and what drove her crazy. He began to suck on her clit, and she bucked her hips from the sensations. He teased and drew out her need for release until she was shaking and whimpering for him to make her come. It was the most precious music to his ears as he teased his tongue against her engorged nub. She held back her screams and panted softly as she climbed to the heights. Snape held her close to him and drew out her climax while she breathed his name again and again.

He rose above her as she came down from her high and kissed her neck, whispering for her to let him inside her.

"Yes," she answered huskily.

He looked passionately into her eyes and entered her slowly. He was going to eradicate the memory of James Potter from her mind forever. He may have given her a son with his face, but the only face she would ever remember with abandon would be his and only his. He took her slow and deep, groaning softly with each thrust. She was overwhelmed with his ardor. Soon, her eyes were rolling back into her head as she murmured obscenities. Snape smirked as he continued to thrust into her deeply.

"I love you, Lily," he breathed. "I will never stop loving you. I want to make love to you always for the rest of my life!"

She started to moan louder and her channel was becoming slick with her juices.

"Come for me, Lily, please," he begged into her ear.

She came with a great shudder and muffled her screams against his shoulder. She didn't want to wake Harry. Snape then began to thrust more intensely into her, whispering his love for her with each thrust. She was caught up in his desire and came again, harder and longer than before. She screamed and screamed into his chest as he rode them both into ecstasy. He came with a great shout that she muffled by clamping her hand over his mouth.

Lily fell deep into sleep, overcome with the intensity of their lovemaking. Snape stayed awake watching her sleep, thanking God, his Lily was back in his life, and if he had any say in the matter, she would become his wife as soon as possible.