Between Wanting and Having

Chapter 22 – Between Wanting and Having

Weekends for Severus Snape were precious and holy. He had made a promise to Remus long ago that he would never stop trying to find a way to cure Lycanthropy. So far, he had made very little progress, and time was running out. He could see the signs. The monthly transformations were changing. For years, Remus' transformations had been extremely painful, but now, they were becoming easier on him, the Wolfsbane Potion notwithstanding. It was a sign that he was melding into his werewolf form. Although Snape doubted Remus would become another Fenrir Greyback, the truth remained that Lycanthropy took its toll not only physically, but psychologically as well. The sharp decrease in pain was the first sign. Then would come the increased animalistic nature, deviant behavior, sexual sadism, and an urge to kill.

Physically, Remus was aging faster and faster. He had multiple ailments and was in chronic pain, for which Severus administered many potions to help him. He could see the desperation every month when the full moon came around. He feared for the wizard's mind and for the lives of his wife and son.

So, Severus made it a priority to keep his weekends free for his research. He worked alone, as he preferred, and faithfully every month, Remus came to give a sample of his blood to be analyzed and tested for possible variations or markers that could work towards a cure. It was tedious and frustrating work.

One Saturday, as he worked on yet another approach to his search, he heard a rap on his door.

"It's the weekend! Go away!" he snarled.

The door opened, and Hermione Granger stepped in. He rolled his eyes and started muttering to himself.

"What do you want?" he snapped.

"Sir, I want to help you. I know you've been working to find a cure for Professor Lupin. I really would like to assist you," she said nervously.

"You can't help. You do not possess the breadth of knowledge required on the subject of Lycanthropy," he replied dismissively.

"I disagree, Professor. I have one thing: another perspective."

He looked at her and raised an eyebrow. "You have two minutes to prove you aren't completely wasting my time," he said impatiently.

He continued to work, ignoring her. He hoped it would discourage her, but it didn't.

"...Lycanthropy is actually not the accurate name for Professor Lupin's condition. It is Therianthropy. You and I both know the effects, the physical and psychological changes that occur. I also know Professor Lupin's condition is starting to deteriorate further."

She began to shuffle through her papers until she found the one she was looking for...he noticed that her hands were shaking.

"Here, if we can find out the course and the cause of the disease, isolate it, then we can have a starting point. A proper starting point, not just a shot in the dark."

"Is that what you think of my work, Miss Granger?" he growled. "I just putter around here blindly."

"Honestly, sir, I do. Unless you can tell me otherwise," she replied boldly.

He whispered angrily, "Get. Out."

Hermione took one more chance. "Do you know that the believed agent of the disease is a unique type of bacteria which possesses the ability to store and use magical energy?"

Snape jerked his head up to face her and narrowed his eyes.

She continued, "It is the store of magical energy that makes the transformation possible..."

"Yes, I do know that, Miss Granger!" he interrupted hotly.

"Yes, I am sure, but did you also know that the actual transformation is instigated by the production of certain key hormones?"

"What?" he snapped as he stepped out from behind his table. "Where have you retrieved such an asinine theory?" he demanded.

"It is not!" she sounded off in a clipped tone. She thrust a paper at him and said fiercely, "I read this in the latest edition of the Unabridged Encyclopedia of Magical Diseases. It is the latest breakthrough information on the disease. The transformation is only introduced through subconscious reactions to certain stimuli within the individual. Moreover, the stimulus varies from person to person. That is why a cure has eluded researchers while the hormone required for transformation is the same from subject to subject across the board. Until the medical magical community admits their focus for a cure is narrow and restrictive, one can only hope to find a cure for each infected person at a time. It is like a Muggle vaccine that is patented for one person's DNA, when millions are in need of said vaccine."

Snape stared at her as if she were insane...and what was troubling him was that he thought she was making sense!

"Once the first transformation begins, the bacteria utilize an encoded biological blueprint within themselves to guide the changes along. The encoding usually stays the same, which is why a person will change into the same form as the one who infected him. This tunnel vision on defeating the bacteria has been historically the locus of unlocking the disease and the only accepted gateway towards a cure. It is my theory that this course is severely misguided," she said flatly without apology.

She paused for an explosion from the professor, and when none came, she continued. "The bacterium is so strong, when first introduced into the body, actually leeches onto muscle and bone. It can never be removed. Never! My theory is that since the hormones actually make possible the transformation, what if these hormones were isolated and controlled, thus suppressing the body's ability to surrender to the trigger event. For Professor Lupin, as with so many that Greyback infected, the trigger event is the full moon."

Snape raised a hand to halt her. "In effect, what you are saying, Miss Granger, is that whilst the bacterium makes the transformation possible, it is actually these key hormones that induces the transformation."

"Correct," she answered. "Now, we would have to ask Professor Lupin to be sure, but if my theory is sound, he should, in the minutes after his transformation back into his humanoid form, have what is called 'sheen' that coats his skin. The presence of 'sheen' is crucial to my theory because I believe that the hormones we need to isolate have to do with the body's fat stored in the intestines.

"What I mean to say, overall, Professor, is that the bacterium infects the intestines, mutates them to become a part of the person's new unique genetic make-up, and is impossible to either eradicate or separate them from other healthy cells and tissue. In addition, it varies from person to person. However, the hormones that never mutate and never change can be suppressed. I suggest that we concentrate on the hormones that aid in the digestion of the body's fat."

She was breathing hard now. Snape looked at her with sheer amazement. She was brilliant...absolutely brilliant! He looked into her eyes; they were dilated and shining brightly. He realized just how close she was standing to him. He was overcome with a compulsion to grab her face with his hands and kiss her lips hungrily. Her papers fell the floor as he moved one hand to the back of her neck and the other to the curve of her spine, pulling her firmly against him. He couldn't believe what he was doing or what she was doing in return. She melted right into him. Her mouth eagerly opened for him as he plunged his tongue inside. She felt so soft and eager under his touch, allowing him to mold her soft, warm body to fit with the solid rigid plains of his own. He grasped her so tightly; he could have been crushing her to death for all he knew. He could feel his arousal pulsating against her belly. She had to feel it too. He wanted her to know, wanted her to realize how she made him feel. He resisted the urge to grind against her. The image he had seen of her that night in Grimmauld Place flew across his mind.

Naked, writhing, and whispering his name in pleasure.

Straining to keep her thighs as far apart as possible, teasing the wet, pink skin with her fingers surrounded by a halo of small curls.

The exposure of one plump breast that moved in time with her frustrated movements.

He saw himself pounding into her mindlessly, tasting her breasts...

He tore himself from her and turned away, bracing his hands on his desk, his head bowed in defeat.

"Please leave," he breathed.

He heard her shuffling around on the floor, picking up the papers she had spilled there. He closed his eyes. He didn't dare look at her. All he could register was that Miss Granger on her knees, and all he wanted was to wrench his erection free from the buttons that were straining against it, hurting it, and let Miss Granger soothe it with her hot mouth. He did not dare move.

She left without a word, and he slammed his fist onto his desk. He had never felt such a reaction in his life. It hadn't been her face, breasts, or hips that had first enticed him. It had been her knowledge, her razor-sharp intellect that she had wielded in front of him as he tried to intimidate her into silence. The more she insisted her point, the more assured she became of her theory, the harder his blood had rushed to his loins, and he became aware of her, Miss Granger, the woman. There was no child standing there defending her position. She was articulate, poised, and fierce. She could never be anything less to him now. She was a woman, regardless of her being a student. By all rights, she should have finished Hogwarts the year prior. She was only here to finish what had been denied to her last year. And to make matters worse, he knew she had quite the figure under those robes that he was burning to touch.

He needed a drink.

***

"Remus," Snape said as he announced his presence at Lupin's office door.

"Severus! Come in," said Remus as he stood up stiffly from his desk to welcome his friend.

Snape walked into Remus' office looking strangely guilty. "I've stumbled upon some new information that may lead to the breakthrough I needed to find the cure," he said sadly.

Lupin's eyes shone with glee. But he saw how miserable his friend looked and was quite concerned. "Severus, is it bad news? I can't be helped, is that it?" he said flatly.

Snape waved his hand, dismissing his fear. "No, if all goes according to this new theory, you'll be fine. Remus." He drew in a sharp breath and exhaled uneasily. "I've really done it this time," he whispered.

"What is it?" Lupin said gravely as he sat down uneasily into his chair.

Snape confessed to Lupin what had occurred with Miss Granger. First, he told him about her research, then her theory, and finally the kiss.

Lupin tried to hide a snicker, and a hand went to cover his mouth when he realized his moustache wouldn't hide his smile.

Snape grew furiously angry. "How can you possibly sit there thinking this could be even remotely humorous? I accosted a student! I made sexual advances to a student, Remus. Stop laughing!" he roared.

Remus was starting to chuckle uncontrollably. "Listen to yourself, Severus. You're practically foaming at the mouth!"

Snape drew himself up to his full height and turned to walk out of the office.

"Severus, come now!" he called out to him. "Stop this and sit down. Let's talk about this rationally and realistically. Come, have a drink, and calm yourself!" He poured him a generous amount of firewhiskey, and Snape took it gratefully as he sat down heavily in the chair.

Remus spoke again, calmly this time. "Severus, let's not be coy about all this. You and I both know that Miss Granger has harbored romantic feelings for you for quite some time now."

"I fail to see how that makes this situation any better, Remus!" he growled.

"Severus, I need you to take a drink and listen very carefully. Hermione is an adult! She's here only out of her desire to take her N.E.W.T.s and to seduce you," he said evenly.

"REMUS!" Snape roared as he sloshed some of his drink on his robes.

Lupin remained calm in his chair. "Well, Severus, I told you I would speak about this rationally and realistically. I have done precisely that. You need to face the fact that Hermione has her eye on you. She has had you in her sights since she was barely sixteen. She's nineteen years old, a veteran of war, and an intelligent witch. Plus, it seems physically, she's not too shabby either, from they way you snogged her."

"I did not snog anyone!" he yelled.

Remus chuckled. "Honestly, Severus, you are forty years old, and you act at times like you are 140!

"Thirty-eight," he muttered petulantly. "And you are not helping the situation!" he complained hotly.

"My mistake," Remus said smoothly. "Severus, do you want my help? I suggest that you take Miss Granger up on her offer to assist you in your research, allow her to take advantage of you whenever she desires, and sexually harass her as the mood fancies you. Then, the day after she takes her exams, invite her into your bed and shag each other raw." He smiled wickedly.

Severus felt the nerve on the side of his mouth twitch. His face was ashen. He jumped up from his seat and paced nervously. "How can you be so cavalier? Just because that tactic may have worked for you and your wife does not mean that is the answer for me!" he snapped.

"Severus, don't insult Dora," he warned the dark wizard with a stern glare. "What is so wrong with my suggestion? You both are so obviously taken with each other! You both have the intellectual drive and studious natures that would make you both comfortable with your lives. She would understand your need for research, and you would never belittle her for trying to educate herself and learn new things. You both are of age and consenting adults. The only caveat is that she remains a student. So, just curtail your lust for a few months and then let things take their natural course!"

"You think it's all so simple, don't you?" Snape sneered. "Miss Granger only thinks she wants me! If she truly wanted me, I'd fear for her reason! And even if she swore to the heavens her affections were real, and gave herself to me, I would never believe it. Lily came sneaking into my bed every night after Harry went to sleep. She begged me to make love to her after I first rejected her. She denied me nothing! She even told me once Potter never made her feel the way I made her feel. Did I ever tell you that? Well, she lied! She was a damn liar!" he raged. "How could I possibly ever trust another woman? After Moira? After...well, I can't do this!" he mumbled as he turned abruptly and stormed out of Lupin's office.

Lupin sighed as he slumped in his chair. He felt he almost had the stubborn wizard to the point of really accepting a chance with Hermione. Damn you, Lily! he thought miserably. Why did you have to hurt him like that?

A/N: Huge thanks to my wonderful, anonymous beta! Please

review, I'm addicted to reviews! The information given was taken from the the Unabridged Encyclopedia of Magical Diseases, 3rd Edition. The theory of the cure is my own. Website: http://www.fortunecity.com/victorian/byzantium/55/lycan.htm