Confessions
Chapter 26 of 30
livvy6Lily's life doesn't end when Voldemort hexes her. Instead, she and Harry go into hiding, but are things truly any better for her?
ReviewedChapter 26 Confessions
Harry knocked at the door to Snape's office. The professor wasn't expecting him, but Harry needed to see him. There still was so much undone and unsaid.
He walked in, and Snape stiffened.
Harry spoke first. "I can't seem to forget everything I saw in your memories. I feel angry with Dumbledore for taking me away, yet I can see his point of view. I'm angry with you because you say you love me, but I don't have any happy memories with you. I have lost so much. I can't stand this anymore."
Snape rose from his seat and went to get a small Pensieve. He started to withdraw one silvery strand after another. As he did, the tension in his eyes relaxed, and the countenance of his face softened. He seemed younger somehow and content.
He turned, looked at Harry, and said, "I want you to see my memories of you. I want you to know all the things I cannot say," he stated plainly.
He stepped aside and gestured for Harry to move forward. Harry reluctantly came, acutely aware of the last time he had an encounter with the wizard's Pensieve. He looked at Snape one last time, and the older wizard gently smiled and nodded his head to signal him to go and see.
***
When Harry came back out, he fell to the floor in agony. He knew it all now. He had seen the sacrifice, the worry, the fear, the love, the joy, and finally the pain. He felt utter shock when he saw Snape holding the body of his mother, crying brokenly in disbelief and pain. Harry had hurt when he had seen Snape forced to let go of the small boy in his arms. Harry felt a rejection so strong and fierce, it took him a while to realize he was feeling the same feeling he had when Sirius had died: abandonment.
Yet, Snape hadn't died. He had loved him from afar. Harry saw things he never realized as a child. There had been so many times the older man had watched him unseen with a small smile on his face. He had never revealed what Dumbledore called, "the best part of himself." The worst memory had been when he had seen Snape sitting, crying in the rocking chair, and holding the "stupid duck," as he called it. Harry wanted to embrace him, tell him...something, but even if could have, the words just wouldn't form in his mouth while in the Pensieve.
Now here he was, sitting on the floor. Harry just couldn't handle the feelings and emotions coursing through him. He finally just...cried. He cried for all the losses and for what had been ripped from him over the years. Then he felt a warm hand on his back. He looked up and saw the man who had been the only real father he had ever known. Harry grabbed and held onto him. Snape held him there, embracing his son on the floor of his dingy office.
"I love you, Harry," he whispered.
"Thank you for everything," Harry replied in a choked whisper. "Thank you for loving me all these years."
He helped his boy off the floor and led him into the sitting room. They sat in front of the fire, drinking and thinking silently. After a while, Harry spoke.
"I don't know what to call you," he said honestly.
"Hmm," was Snape's only reply as he looked down at his lap into his drink. He was determined not to influence the young man. He was a man, after all, not a toddler. He would never hear "daddy" again, but he had come to terms with that. The best he hoped for now was that perhaps he would call him "Severus."
Harry knew that the man next to him was not the same man who had played with him and loved him all those years ago. Over fifteen years had passed, and Harry realized that he was about the same age Snape had been when he and his mum uprooted his life.
"Sir, how old were you when I came to live here?" he asked quietly.
Snape took his last sip from his tumbler and replied, "Twenty-one."
Harry was eighteen. Severus had only been three years older.
"How old were you when you took the Dark Mark?" he asked.
Snape sighed and said, still not looking at him, "Eighteen." He then turned and looked knowingly into Harry's eyes.
Harry swallowed. "You were my age," he whispered hoarsely.
"Indeed," was his only reply.
"How old were you when you became a spy?" the young man asked softly.
Snape's eyes continued to bore into his. "I was twenty."
Harry shook his head sadly. "I can't even imagine living and seeing what you must have experienced being under Voldemort's thumb!"
"Well, Harry, I only had to serve him when I was your age. You had to kill him," he whispered.
"I would like to think if you and I had known each other at the same age, we would have been friends," Harry admitted.
Snape chuckled. "I highly doubt that," he said dismissively.
"Why not?" Harry challenged him.
Snape poured himself another drink, and he smiled wickedly. "Me?" he asked with a quirk of his eyebrow. "I was a gangly, unfortunate youth. Other boys found it natural to dislike me," he said painfully.
"Why? Because you didn't have nice clothes and weren't cared for?" he challenged him again. "Remember, I saw your memories of you as a boy. The first time you saw me, I had on my Hogwarts uniform. The only reason those robes were new was because I had my father's money...money he received from his father. If you had seen me as a boy before Hogwarts, you would have seen a shabby boy with clothes that didn't fit, hungry because he never had enough to eat, dirty, and wearing broken glasses.
"The truth is, sir, was that I was all alone when Ron Weasley came to befriend me. The other kids didn't want anything to do with me...that is until they found out who I was. It was Hermione who fixed my glasses. Every time I break my glasses, I go see her and ask her to fix them. She always yells at me for never remembering the spell!" he laughed heartily.
"The sad truth is that Hermione was the first female who ever took care of me. I didn't have a mum. Professor McGonagall and Mrs. Weasley were the closest to real mums, being older, and all, but Hermione was there everyday, bossing, nagging, and fussing over me. I loved it. I still do. That's why I ask her to fix my glasses. Even though she's only a year older, she always had that caring, mothering nature. I was in desperate need of love and care. You saw the clothes, but not the hungry, lonely boy underneath them who had to live in a cupboard under the stairs."
Snape looked at him sadly. "You were teased when you lived with Petunia?" he asked.
"Oh, yeah, constantly! My cousin Dudley made it his purpose in life to make mine a living hell. He got all the nice clothes, enough food...more than enough food...and the affection. I was yelled at, half-starved, and truly believed one day he would kill me. The day Hagrid came and told me I was a wizard and was going to Hogwarts was the happiest day of my life!" he said fondly. "So, I think that if I had seen you and you had seen me at eleven, we would have thought, 'he's just like me!' and probably would have been mates, I reckon."
Snape massaged his forehead. "Harry, I was already a vindictive and hateful little shit by eleven," he said ruefully. "See, the difference was that you had two years of love under your belt. Then, you had the knowledge your parents were taken from you. If they had been alive, you would have been wanted."
He leaned into him and whispered, "I was never wanted, never loved. Your mother did the best she could. She tried, but I'm just not lovable. Harry, you would have pitied me, and I would have thought you a fool for wanting to be friends. I would have pushed you away," he admitted softly.
Harry rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, and I would have told you to get over yourself! I wouldn't have pitied you, either. I would have treated you with respect, and if you were an arse, I would have told you so and still have been your friend. Do you know how many times Ron and I have had words and not spoken for weeks at a time? We've called each other horrible names, but in the end, we were mates. If you haven't noticed, I don't go around trying to make enemies. I'd rather have friends. But, if someone is determined to hate me, then that's their problem, and I won't take their shite. But I never was the kind of person to go around looking to torture others. When I see a person mistreated, I don't join in. That's how I became friends with Neville. Malfoy stole his Remembrall and insulted him. I stood up for Neville because he was too afraid to do it himself. My dad was a right arse when he was a kid...he was. He was arrogant and full of himself. He was a rich, spoiled kid who had been pampered by loving parents. He was a bully. It really hurts to say it, but he was. I would like to think he grew out of it," he said hopefully.
"He did, Harry," Snape admitted. "He did, and I hated him all the more for it because it only made it easier for your mother to fall in love with him. He truly loved her. I think that's why he and I carried on so. He was jealous of what I had with Lily, and I was terrified he would take my place in her heart. I was so busy worrying over it, I never realized that place in her heart had never been mine to start."
Snape sighed deeply, running a hand across his face. "Anyway, Harry, it's all over and done now. I'm through with trying to butt my head against the wall trying to figure it all out," he said resignedly.
Harry looked at him oddly. Then he said, "Well, I'm glad, sir. Now you can move forward with Hermione."
Snape leaned over and poured another drink for the young wizard. He sighed and shook his head. "I don't think so, Harry," he said quietly.
Harry's green eyes flashed in irritation. Snape did a double take. The young wizard got that from his mother, and he knew it signaled trouble.
"Why?" the Gryffindor asked calmly but with an edge to his voice.
"Because she wants things from me I cannot and will not give her!" the Potions master snarled.
"What things?" Harry asked sharply.
"It's none of your business," Snape warned softly.
Harry jumped up. "It is so my business! You can't have it both ways! Either you throw me out and tell me you want nothing to do with me or claim me as the son you always considered me to be and deal with the reality!" he hollered.
"What reality might that be?" Snape said darkly as he stood cautiously.
"The reality that two people I care about VERY much are about to become VERY unhappy, VERY soon! The reality that a man who in all respects was the only father I have ever known is about to make the biggest mistake of his life...and I mean that! If you run from Hermione, joining Voldemort will no longer be your biggest mistake! Finally, there is the reality that Hermione is VERY dear to me. She deserves to be happy, and for God's sake, you are the only man she wants and with whom she will be happy! These. Are. The. Realities!" he roared.
Snape lowered his head. "Harry, I saw her with Lupin and his family. She was holding their son...your godson! I saw what was in her eyes. It was so apparent. She wants to have a family, babies, marriage, everything!" he said with desperation.
Harry was dumbfounded. "What the bloody hell is so wrong with that? Why would having a young, brilliant woman like Hermione, who loves you so much, be so horrible to have? I thought this was all sorted!" he shouted irritatingly as he threw up in arms in frustration.
"I thought it was too, but she wants a life I cannot give her!" the older man reasoned.
Harry knew he could never hex Snape fast enough. So he did the only thing he could do: he punched him in the face.
Snape grabbed the younger wizard reflexively by the throat. "How dare you strike me!" he spat.
Harry tried to hit him again, but Snape threw him onto the couch.
"You just stay right there, Potter!" he snarled. "What the devil do you think you are doing, striking me?"
"So, I'm 'Potter' again, eh? Loving is all well and good when you don't actually have to have a relationship with someone day in and day out! Hermione is what...good enough for you to keep around for a good fuck? Is that it? You can't give her enough respect to make her an honest woman?"
"I've not touched your precious Miss Granger!" he yelled.
"She's not my Miss Granger! I have a witch...you remember her, Ginny? She's your Miss Granger. You love her. I know you do. Don't deny it!" Harry shouted as he pointed an accusing finger at him.
Snape lost all sense of decorum. "Damn it, you infernal boy! I would think you of all people would understand! I did this once before. I had the woman, the child, a home, and a life! I had love and all the security and warmth that came with it. I did the 'relationship' thing and it all fell to shit! Well, I just don't have what it takes anymore. I am not Remus, dammit! Remus doesn't have the past I have! I see him with his young wife and son, and I see your mother and me!" He sat down and covered his head with his hands. Harry saw tears silently fall onto his pants. He was crying!
Harry didn't relent. "That is not you and my mum. That's you and Hermione. This is your chance to start over!"
Snape lifted up his head. "I had my chance, I had my second chance, and she died! She never wanted me! She just stayed with me out of pity! I WILL NEVER LET THAT HAPPEN AGAIN!" he screamed.
"Good! I'm glad!" Harry shouted back. "You shouldn't settle for less and neither should Hermione! She wants you. You are the man she wants. The only man she's ever wanted. Do you think I'm still a kid? Do you think me daft? I've held Hermione in my arms as she cried over you. You've been breaking her heart! I've tried to talk to her, Ron's tried, Remus, McGonagall, Tonks, Mrs. Weasley, Ginny...we've ALL tried!"
He knelt on the floor and grabbed the wizard by the front of his robes. "She either does this with you, or she doesn't at all. Do you understand? There is no 'getting over you' for her. You honestly want another man to have to live up to you? Forcing himself to make it all fit when there always was only one man that she could only love like that? Give it up, sir. Just stop fighting, and let yourself love her!" he said finally.
"Loving her was never the problem. I do love her," Snape whispered softly.
"Then do this! Don't keep her waiting, dammit!" Harry pleaded. His face was only inches away from Snape's. His voice grew to a barely audible whisper. "Please, Dad. Stop hurting yourself."
Snape looked into Harry's face, shocked by his address of 'Dad.' Snape embraced his son. He could not believe he called him 'Dad'. He pulled back and looked at him, took his face in his hands, and smiled happily. Harry grinned, and they both chuckled.
"You know I'll always be hard on you, Harry. I'm not going to change," the older wizard warned.
"I know. I'm always going to be an insufferable Gryffindor, wearing my heart on my sleeve," he replied with a smirk on his face.
Snape embraced him again. "My boy. I have my boy again," he whispered.
***
Hermione sat in her room, trying to decide what she should do. She felt so confused. Next week she was taking her N.E.W.T.s and then what? She had always considered staying with Severus for the rest of the year, spending time with him, learning each other before going and collecting her parents from Australia. But now, it seemed all over.
She felt hopeless. A life without Severus was no life at all. She felt again the fear when he had been attacked, and she had desperately tried to keep him alive. She had felt so scared that he would die, and she'd be without him. Well, now he was going to live his life without her and with him went her happiness and chances for a family of her own.
She had meant it when she'd told Harry that if Severus didn't want her, then there would be no one...ever. Harry had thought she was being a wee bit melodramatic, but she had given him such a pained look that he had taken it back.
She started making plans for packing up. After all, next week she would no longer be a student. She started to go through her clothes when there was a knock on her door.
"Come," she answered.
She assumed it had to be Ginny. "Ginny, I've decided I had best start packing now instead of waiting until the last minute. Once I take my last exam, I want to leave immediately.
"And when shall that be?" asked a deep voice behind her.
"Severus!" she said in shock. "Why didn't you announce yourself?"
"You did not ask for a name. You let me inside of your own accord. So, you are taking your N.E.W.T.s early then?"
Hermione turned back to her clothes. "Yes," she replied curtly. "It was to be a surprise. I knew you would never touch me while I was your student, so I arranged to take them early, and we'd have Christmas together. However, that seems to no longer be an option."
She willed herself not to cry. She furiously set about her work. A warm pair of hands wrapped around hers, stopping her work.
"Hermione, please," he whispered into her hair.
She felt his body pressed against her back, and she finally broke apart. She turned around and punched and hit him.
"What do you want from me? I can't take this anymore. My feelings are worth more than this! You can't treat me this way!" she screamed.
"You're right, Hermione. You're right!" he said loudly. He stilled her hands and kissed her.
"What is this? More torment?" she asked hatefully.
"No," he said sadly. "I saw you holding Lupin's son, and I realized you want more than me. You want a family: that means babies, marriage, all of it. I just didn't think I could go through it all again," he said sadly.
"What changed your mind?" she asked as she disengaged herself from him.
"Harry. We spoke again. It was very... enlightening," he said quietly.
She stood there so angry and hurt. Snape knew he had really messed things up between them.
"Look, this is hard. The hardest thing I think I've ever had to do, save letting Harry go as a baby. Hermione, I made a promise to myself that I would never again allow a woman to ever get close to me. After Lily died, after time had passed, I met a prostitute, helped her to get back on her feet, and into a decent life. I gave her all the care and help I could, and for four months, I would spend one day a week sitting at a café with her for an hour or two, talking and answering questions she had. She had wanted to educate herself, better herself. Her family had been poor, and she had not been able to attend Hogwarts. I became rather attached after a fashion to this very young and sweet girl."
His voice became strained, and his body tense as he paced the floor. "I came to her with flowers in hand like a damn fool and asked her if I could begin courting her. She told me she had met someone, a former student of mine...don't worry you don't know him...before your time. She had told him about me, and he had advised her not to continue our friendship. She wanted to be with him. So I not only was rejected as a potential suitor, I was rejected as a person. She turned and left me in the street. I never saw her again."
Hermione was wiping the tears that were coursing down her face. "That is so wrong, Professor. Even if she didn't want you that way, she still should have kept the friendship."
He shrugged and crossed his arms over his chest. "There is more, Hermione. I don't think you will like to hear it, but you need to know this about me if we are to marry and have a family. I can be a sadistic man...yes, I know you and your classmates have said that of me from time to time, but the years after Lily were full of many whores and sadistic sexual behavior that was very unsavory. I had felt for years that Lily killed herself because she preferred death to me touching her. So, I took out my rage and anger on a great deal of women. I paid them and told them of my intentions. I have never raped anyone outright, but I admit I took a great deal of pleasure out of humiliating and hurting them. The last time I had a woman was a young prostitute whom was known as the best in the house. She was beautiful. I raped her mind and humiliated her in every possible way. Then I humiliated her further by forcing her to admit how repulsive she found me. Afterward, I humiliated her even more by telling her not to forget it had been this repulsive wizard who had made her climax. I made her feel like dirt because she had responded like a healthy woman. I don't know what happened to her. I just know one day I received an owl from the Madam of the house telling me I was no longer welcome at her establishment and that I had cost her three weeks of wages since her 'best whore' had been unable to work for that amount of time because of how I had treated her."
Hermione was pale and had sat down during his confession. She would be lying if she said his confession had not disturbed her.
She spoke weakly. "You say that after that last encounter, you have not done these acts again?"
"Yes," he answered.
"Why?"
"Because I hated myself for what I had done, and also I felt so disgusted with myself, it was better just to live with the fact that I was unlovable and far too repulsive for any decent woman to desire. Therefore, I decided a few years ago to remain celibate," he answered with a blush on his face.
"You've not been with a woman since..." she began.
"... Since the summer after your third year," he whispered.
"Don't you find me desirable?" she asked sadly.
"Of course!" he snapped. "Haven't our encounters proven that?"
He let out a deep breath. "Hermione, this is exactly what I am talking about. I spent eleven years after Lily's death shagging whores and prostitutes. Can you honestly say this is the kind of man you want?"
"You speak about women so...meanly. You weren't always that way with women. I'm sure your relations with Lily were tender and loving," she whispered.
"Yes," he admitted softly. "I was tender and rough, gentle and brutal. I was anything she wanted me to be. I laid myself bare to be everything she'd needed, and it hadn't good enough. I swore I would never, ever, let a woman play me for the fool again. Therefore, I went to whores. They know they are whores, and I paid them more than their asking price for their bodies. It was honest, and I respected that they didn't lie or manipulate me. I had grown accustomed to interacting with them. My whoring days, though, have been at an end for five years now. For me, sex without love is meaningless and sad."
"What do you want, Severus? You have confessed your deep dark secret to me, and I have no idea what you want from me. What do you want me to say? What do YOU want?" she asked.
Severus hid his face from her. "I want to know if you can still want me after knowing this about me. I am capable of very dark behavior. I will not speak to you about my service to the Dark Lord. That was under duress, and I hated every minute of it. Everything was a matter of life or death. This behavior, however, was different. I sought out the desperate whores no one wanted anymore, who would agree to anything. Is this the man with whom you want to make a family? The man you want to make love to you? I have a sexual dark side, Hermione. I can't promise I won't want to do things that may be sadistic in nature. Is this honestly the man you want to spend your life with?"
Hermione was shocked and speechless. She took time to gather her thoughts. "Severus," she said with determination, "I want the whole, not the parts of you that are perfect and fit in a neat box. I know you are a hard man; I know you are at times a cruel man. However, you are a passionate man that has an ability to love and an ethic of loyalty that is admirable. You have seen in my mind the fantasies I've envisioned. I may be a virgin, but I am not a cold woman. I do want you in my life, in my bed, and by my side. I want you to give me a baby or maybe even more than one, who knows? I do know I want to do this with you. Now, we will have to talk more about this and establish some boundaries about personal space and respecting each other's bodies. I am not averse to indulging in some perversions. I have my own fantasies that border on the perverse, I'm sure. Nevertheless, you MUST respect my body, and when I say 'no,' I mean 'no.' In addition, you must take responsibility for your own esteem issues. I love you, but it is not my responsibility to make up for the disappointments of your past. I can't do it, and it's not fair. If you can agree to these terms, I do not see anything to impede our coming together."
He looked at her and considered her words. She would be no doormat, but allow him some enjoyments in his darker nature. She was also very clear on what she would and would not accept, and it had nothing to do with what he could do for her. She accepted him as is. It was quite liberating.
"Yes, Hermione. It is a start I can accept and will agree to uphold," he promised.
"Fine," she whispered.
She walked to him, slid her arms around his neck, and they kissed.
"When are you taking your exams?" he breathed.
Within the week, the day before Christmas," she said between kisses.
He devoured her mouth. "Then, you will come to me on the eve?"
"Yes," she agreed.
He groaned. "It's been so long, I don't want to promise I'll be up to "Exceeds Expectations," he said nervously.
"As long as it's not a Troll, I'm sure it will be fine," she murmured in his ear as she flicked it with her tongue.
His hand cupped her breast and found her nipple pushing through the fabric of her shirt. "Hermione, I want you so badly," he whispered hoarsely.
Hermione rubbed the palm of her hand against the heat between his thighs. He grabbed her shoulders and ground into her hand. He grabbed her breasts and squeezed them. His eyes were closed, and his mouth open, he was completely lost in the moment.
"Please, Hermione, help me. I-I can't take much more," he said in a pained voice.
"Is this right?" she whispered in his ear.
"Squeeze harder," he panted.
She roughly grabbed his hardness and rubbed it furiously. She didn't know what exactly she was touching or if she was doing it correctly. In seconds, he was moaning and breathing her name. She watched as his face went slack and tensed intermittently. He grasped harder on her shoulders, holding her to him.
"Am I hurting you?" she whispered.
"No," he gasped.
He shuddered and swayed on his feet. It had been so long since a woman had brought him to orgasm. She helped him sit and got him a glass of water. She was feeling extremely aroused but a bit unnerved by his passion. She'd have to prepare herself for sex with this man. However, in the back of her mind, she was rather turned on. The idea of being able to elicit such a response from a powerful, self-controlled wizard as Professor Snape made her dizzy with lust. He left shortly after drinking his water. She could tell he was a bit nervous and uncomfortable with their frenzied encounter.
***
He sat in his rooms drinking with Lupin, telling him what had occurred with Hermione.
Remus laughed.
"What is so damned funny?" he scowled.
"You. You are so pent up. Don't worry, Severus. She's ready. Just be extra gentle the first time. After that, you can gradually build up to more spicy activities. Severus, you dog!" Lupin laughed.
Snape scowled in reply. "I left like a selfish boy! I didn't even ask if she needed relief. She probably thinks I'm just a selfish bastard," he said sadly.
Remus was not about to enable Severus' self-pitying. "She knows you are a selfish bastard, Severus. It's no big revelation. However, that's not all what you are. This is Hermione! If she had a problem with not getting hers, you'd be hearing about it by now. I think she was just curious about it all, and she wasn't prepared mentally to engage you in anything more than what happened. It was an important step, Severus. Good luck, Christmas Eve!" he said with a smirk.
"I suppose we shouldn't bother seeing you around for a while, eh?" Remus asked with a snigger.
"If you tell anyone, I swear..." Snape threatened.
"I'll only tell Dora," Remus promised.
"Oh, fine then, all I have to worry about is the fucking Daily Prophet announcing in bold that the Potions master of Hogwarts will be engaged in deviant shag fest over Christmas hols with former student just hours after her final exams!" he snarked.
Lupin chuckled. "No, I'll leave that up to Hermione and Dora to hash out. Get used to it, Severus, your sexual performance, penis size, how well, and how many times you are able to bring her to orgasm will be common knowledge for Dora, Ginny, Molly, and Fleur to analyze. I know my sexual abilities are discussed at great length, as are Bill's and even Harry's."
Snape closed his eyes. "Is nothing sacred?" he fumed. "Well, as long as I don't have to hear about it," he acquiesced.
"Oh, of course, old man. I shall know nothing except the fact that my wife knows all. She'll never tell. It's the witch's code of honor. Yet, I do know the signals that you've done well. And you had best do well; otherwise, we all will be on the outs with our witches. They will blush in your presence, and as soon as you leave the room, they will burst out in giggles and laughter. You'll be treated like a king because the other woman will respect the fact you are doing your duty and making their friend happy." He grinned wickedly. "I can't wait!"
***
A/N: As always, thank you for reading and reviewing! I want to also thank my beta for all her hard work!
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Latest 25 Reviews for Love Remains
500 Reviews | 5.65/10 Average
Thanks forsuch an original story!
Yay!!!
Am so glad this isn't the last chapter. Some authors just stop in the middle of nowhere once the end is in sight! :))
Thanks for embarking on this prompt!
Good job! Thanks for wearing your heart on your sleeve as an author with these raw emotions which we readers sometimes may miss in other ffs!
Nice ending. I always like a happy ending and this was a good one. I like the poor kid isn't Albus Severus. LOL I always thought that after all Albus did, he did not deserved to be honored that way.
Response from livvy6 (Author of Love Remains)
Me too! If anything, if Dumbledore HAD to be included it should have been reversed. But yes, I thought he was a manipulative old bastard.I'm glad you enjoyed my fic. It was a real gut-wrencher to write, but it makes the happy endings that much sweeter!Thank you for all your reviews!
Response from livvy6 (Author of Love Remains)
Me too! If anything, if Dumbledore HAD to be included it should have been reversed. But yes, I thought he was a manipulative old bastard.I'm glad you enjoyed my fic. It was a real gut-wrencher to write, but it makes the happy endings that much sweeter!Thank you for all your reviews!
Nice to see that went without the proverbial hitch, that neither or them has hosed it up yet.
Response from livvy6 (Author of Love Remains)
LOL! What can I say? Where Severus is concerned a cock-up is always around the corner when it comes to relationships!Thanks!
Response from livvy6 (Author of Love Remains)
LOL! What can I say? Where Severus is concerned a cock-up is always around the corner when it comes to relationships!Thanks!
Good man, finally putting his past behind him. And he really did need to ensure that Hermione heard it from him. Hopefully he can really move forward now.
Response from livvy6 (Author of Love Remains)
Yes, they had to lay it all on the table for there to be a chance at a future.Thanks!
Response from livvy6 (Author of Love Remains)
Yes, they had to lay it all on the table for there to be a chance at a future.Thanks!
Severus, I thought you were over Lily. *sigh* He and Hermione really do need a good long conversation. Hopefully once she's no longer a student they can get to it.
Response from livvy6 (Author of Love Remains)
Oh, he is over Lily. It's just that he doesn't know if he has it within him emotionally to do it all over again. That's basically what it gets down to. He is terrified.Thanks!
Response from livvy6 (Author of Love Remains)
Oh, he is over Lily. It's just that he doesn't know if he has it within him emotionally to do it all over again. That's basically what it gets down to. He is terrified.Thanks!
I love the last line. It really is true, isn't it. Hopefully once he lets the truth about Lily's suicide sink in he can begin to heal from all those years of pain. Poor man.
Response from livvy6 (Author of Love Remains)
Thank you. There is a lot to absorb after so much time has passed.Thanks!
Response from livvy6 (Author of Love Remains)
Thank you. There is a lot to absorb after so much time has passed.Thanks!
Oh, Severus, love blinded you to the truth and having your heart broken like that... (sorry no sense there LOL). Good thing that Harry went digging for the truth and that Albus meddled one last time sending him to Malfoy. While I like Malfoy, I do like the idea of him being broken and powerless after everything happened, a pariah (though I think he would be like the
Response from livvy6 (Author of Love Remains)
and rising from the ashes LOL). it's nice to see Harry and Severus coming to terms with what might have been the truth.
Response from livvy6 (Author of Love Remains)
It seems all ironic that it was Malfoy to open the eyes of Harry into what was going through Lily's mind that night. She knew exactly what her fate would be if she stayed with Severus, and she couldn't bring herself to take Harry away from him.Thanks!
Response from livvy6 (Author of Love Remains)
and rising from the ashes LOL). it's nice to see Harry and Severus coming to terms with what might have been the truth.
Response from livvy6 (Author of Love Remains)
It seems all ironic that it was Malfoy to open the eyes of Harry into what was going through Lily's mind that night. She knew exactly what her fate would be if she stayed with Severus, and she couldn't bring herself to take Harry away from him.Thanks!
I like Harry's quest. It's really enlightening and he can learn a lot about himself as well as Severus. Though he may begin to have as many regrets as Severus and Dumbledore over how his life might have turned out.
Response from livvy6 (Author of Love Remains)
True, but that is one of the benchmarks of becoming an adult: knowing that life doesn't turn out the way they could have and that people make choices that make thier lives and the lives of the little ones in their charge different than what could ahve been.Thanks!
Response from livvy6 (Author of Love Remains)
True, but that is one of the benchmarks of becoming an adult: knowing that life doesn't turn out the way they could have and that people make choices that make thier lives and the lives of the little ones in their charge different than what could ahve been.Thanks!
I love how it was her intellect that really turned him on. Remus really is his voice of reason and he was right to curse Lily. She really did damage Severus. One can only hope that Hermione can some day heal him, and hopefully some day soon because her insight into the cure/control could be vital.
Response from livvy6 (Author of Love Remains)
Yes, Remus is going to find himself frustrated a lot between Harry, Hermione and Snape and all their drama. lol! Poor Remus!
Response from livvy6 (Author of Love Remains)
Yes, Remus is going to find himself frustrated a lot between Harry, Hermione and Snape and all their drama. lol! Poor Remus!
Severus, you are human, embrace it. It's not going to go away no matter how much you try to hide it. I suspect that no longer being a pawn is goiing to make it harder for him to hide the fact that he is human.
Response from livvy6 (Author of Love Remains)
Severus is going to to have to reasses how he views himself, life, and realtionships. There are no excuses, like I have to be this way because of the Dark Lord, blah, blah, blah. It's going to take time to get there.Thanks!
Response from livvy6 (Author of Love Remains)
Severus is going to to have to reasses how he views himself, life, and realtionships. There are no excuses, like I have to be this way because of the Dark Lord, blah, blah, blah. It's going to take time to get there.Thanks!
Nice closure for both Harry and Severus at the graves. I really think that was necessary for them both. And I like how Severus has slipped into father mode.
Response from livvy6 (Author of Love Remains)
Thanks! I think it had to be this way for them to go forward, especially Severus.Thanks!
Response from livvy6 (Author of Love Remains)
Thanks! I think it had to be this way for them to go forward, especially Severus.Thanks!
Let the emotional floodgates open. Confusion really is a good name for this chapter with everyone learning new bits of the truth and trying to make sense of it all. I think Harry was spot on. He has had his parents on a pedastal and being told they are human in the past has always been hard for him to grasp.
Response from livvy6 (Author of Love Remains)
It is hard when you realize your parents are just normal people with feet of clay. Harry will have to come to terms with that.Thanks!
Response from livvy6 (Author of Love Remains)
It is hard when you realize your parents are just normal people with feet of clay. Harry will have to come to terms with that.Thanks!
Very well done. That actually went better than I thought it would. I thought for sure Harry would have asked the hard question right after Severus mentioned Lily poisoning herself. Now to see if he can actually bring himself to answer the question.
Response from livvy6 (Author of Love Remains)
It's going to be a difficult time for both of them, but they will get there.Thanks!
Response from livvy6 (Author of Love Remains)
It's going to be a difficult time for both of them, but they will get there.Thanks!
Nice filler scene with how he helped the students and why Ginny and Neville stuck up for him. He really did have quite the balancing act to carry out. And nice touch with the rocking chair and the duck.
Response from livvy6 (Author of Love Remains)
Thank you. Needed to get the emotions in there with Severus fears about a possible future relationship. Then how he wants things to be different for Harry than it was for him.Thanks!
Response from livvy6 (Author of Love Remains)
Thank you. Needed to get the emotions in there with Severus fears about a possible future relationship. Then how he wants things to be different for Harry than it was for him.Thanks!
I was a bit taken aback by them still being at Grimmauld Place, but I do agree that it facilitates a lot as that is neutral territory unlike The Burrow. I can completely see Severus unable to understand compassion and love since he has spent so long ignoring them and quite possibly never really understood them.
Response from livvy6 (Author of Love Remains)
Yes, Severus is quite stunted with more positive emotions. He is more comfortable expressing nagative ones. It will just take time.Thanks!
Response from livvy6 (Author of Love Remains)
Yes, Severus is quite stunted with more positive emotions. He is more comfortable expressing nagative ones. It will just take time.Thanks!
Lupin has some wonderful insight, though both Severus and Sirius are childish enough to utterly ignore it. Gits. I look forward to what Severus has to say to Harry. Or is this the Occlumency bit? Anyway, on to the next chapter. LOL
Response from livvy6 (Author of Love Remains)
Oh, yes. The Occlumency bit is going to be a big thing for Severus and he will have words with someone about it.Thanks!
Response from livvy6 (Author of Love Remains)
Oh, yes. The Occlumency bit is going to be a big thing for Severus and he will have words with someone about it.Thanks!
It's a shame that Severus can't really see the benefit of having friends, even if it is someone much younger than him. And he should know that Hermione is really just eager for approval and he is giving her exactly what hurts her most by belittling her all the time.
Response from livvy6 (Author of Love Remains)
Yes, although Severus has stop terrorizing prostitutes, he still is a miserable git. Remus will around more and will help him out.Thanks!
Response from livvy6 (Author of Love Remains)
Yes, although Severus has stop terrorizing prostitutes, he still is a miserable git. Remus will around more and will help him out.Thanks!
Poor Severus. It's horrible to see one person so emotionally scarred. And it is horrible that he had to take it out on Evangeline. No one should have to be subjected to that, but at least he wasn't entirely horrible towards her, teaching her about pleasure. Small consolation, but there it was.
Response from livvy6 (Author of Love Remains)
This was the low point. Severus has now reached the depths of his pain and from now on will begin the small move upwards. I hope you continue to like where I take him, Harry and someone else ;)Thanks!
Response from livvy6 (Author of Love Remains)
This was the low point. Severus has now reached the depths of his pain and from now on will begin the small move upwards. I hope you continue to like where I take him, Harry and someone else ;)Thanks!
I like how he is looking out for her and asking her to be herself and not just an extension of him.
Response from livvy6 (Author of Love Remains)
That is key to a good relationship!Thanks for reviewing!Livvy
Response from livvy6 (Author of Love Remains)
That is key to a good relationship!Thanks for reviewing!Livvy
Dang! That was harsh. It is nice to see that he helped her, but to have his help thrown back at him like that. Ouch! I'm sure that will only serve to make him less secure. Poor man. Everything he does out of kindness is rewarded with pain.
Response from livvy6 (Author of Love Remains)
Yes, it is very painful, however, he has not yet worked out his anger with Lily, nor has he reconciled with Harry. I think these must happen before he can have a real relationship. But yes, it still hurts.
Response from livvy6 (Author of Love Remains)
Yes, it is very painful, however, he has not yet worked out his anger with Lily, nor has he reconciled with Harry. I think these must happen before he can have a real relationship. But yes, it still hurts.
Poor Severus. Lily really did destroy him, didn't she? It is nice to see that he is still human however. If only he would listen though. All he could see from Lupin was rule breaking and proof of how Harry and company had been doing so, not that there could have been a mistake.
Response from livvy6 (Author of Love Remains)
Yes, he really was destroyed. I can't think of a better word, but true.
Response from livvy6 (Author of Love Remains)
Yes, he really was destroyed. I can't think of a better word, but true.