Testing

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Chapter 25 – Testing

Hermione Granger knocked softly on Professor Snape's door. She walked in as the door opened for her. She was confused. Professor Snape didn't open doors for people.

"You said you wanted to see me, Professor?"

"Yes," he said quietly, not looking her in the eye.

Hermione thought it very odd to look down at a man who was so much taller than she and see him hang his head in hopes of not meeting her eyes.

She watched how his hair fell into his face, curtaining himself from her. She wanted so badly to push his hair back and away from his face so she could really look at him. She had been dreaming each and every night since he had kissed her that he would do so again. She longed for him to hold her as he had before. Her arms fairly ached from being away from him. She had continued to give her notes to him, in hopes to aid him in his research. She prayed each time she came to his door that he would let her in, but time and again she had left disappointed. So, when his message had arrived saying he wanted to speak with her, she was determined not to be put off any longer and make the most of being with him face to face alone.

He seemed to have a difficult time trying to piece his words together, and she decided she didn't care anymore. She reached up on her tiptoes, ran her hands through his hair, pushing it back from his face, and pulled him to her, kissing him sweetly on the mouth. He felt his way from her hands, down to her elbows and up the back of her arms. He deepened her innocent kiss to an urgent one. He pressed his hands against her back and pulled her to him, madly exploring her mouth. Her small fingers intertwined in his hair, massaged his head and neck. He broke the kiss and took her small hands into his larger ones.

They stood and watched their hands hold the other, seeing how nice they looked together. He raised her hands to his mouth and kissed them, turning her palm over and kissing the soft flesh there. He moved to the inside of her wrist and brushed light, feathery kisses there, his eyes glittering madly as she gasped. He looked into her eyes and saw the flush of desire there. She looked into his black orbs and her breath caught. Did he know that he had just kissed her in a way that made her ache between her legs and caused her nipples to tingle?

She withdrew her hand, unaware that he could see the outline of her nipples pushing against her shirt. She caught his stare and discovered he was leering at her chest. She quickly crossed her arms around her chest in embarrassment. She looked at him defiantly, as if she were bracing herself for a verbal attack. It didn't come, instead, she received a very tender look from the dark wizard, and he cupped her cheek in his hand.

"Hermione, do you love me?" he asked.

She blinked and tried to wrench herself from him. He grabbed her and held her to him.

"Let me go, you're not funny! How dare you try to humiliate me, you bastard!" she cried out.

He held her firmly to his body and whispered in her ear. His voice was so soft and light she could barely hear, but somehow, the important words came through clearly.

"I love you..."

"...Want you with me..."

"... Help me..."

"... I'm afraid..."

She let him finish, and he started to let her go. She melted back into him and kissed him fervently.

The words came out, and she didn't even know they were the words he had wanted to hear for more than twenty years.

"I love you...I do. I've never loved anyone else. I've known for so long that it has just become a part of me. I can't imagine living and not loving you," she confessed with her warm, brown eyes full of tears.

He closed his eyes and felt the hot tears fall down his sallow cheeks. "I won't question why, Miss Granger. I'll take you at your word," he said deeply.

His voice tore through her, and she kissed him madly, tasting his tears and felt her own fall down her face. She felt tears streaming down her cheeks, and he tasted her tears mingled with his own.

He whispered as he broke from her lips, "Will you stay with me, forever? Will you always love me?" he asked softly.

"Yes, I will never leave you, never stop loving you, never, never!" she said passionately and captured his lips.

They kissed and kissed, not wanting to rush anything. There would be a time for more, for much more. Each kiss held the promise of other intimacies. For now, though, they had work to do for a dear friend who had suffered for far too long.

***

"I've done some more research into the hormones that aid digestion and come up with four main ones," Hermione said while shuffling through more papers at his desk.

They took to working opposite one another, at his office desk, discussing their latest research and ideas for testing Remus' blood.

"Did you ask Remus about sheen?" she asked.

Severus leaned back in his chair. "I did. He said that there was indeed a presence of sheen, and it transformed rather quickly, as you had described, into a fine powder in a matter of minutes."

"That's fantastic!" she said excitedly. "That means now we can move forward with our theory about the hormones in the digestive tract. Now, I have decided to focus on Secretin and Cholecystokinin, known as CCK. We need to get a sample from Remus and analyze the hormone levels. We'll be checking for elevated levels. That shall aid us in deciding the next step," she said.

Snape looked at her. She was mostly talking aloud, it seemed, to herself. She was concentrating hard on her paperwork. Then, she took a piece of paper and handed it to him. He glanced over it while she continued.

"We know that sheen is created from the fat of the stomach's contents. The transformation is vital to drawing out and using the body's fat stores as fuel, for lack of a better word. That will explain why after Remus goes through his transformation he is so hungry and starved. In addition, it explains why he is growing more and more haggard as time goes by. Sheen is full of vital nutrients that keep the human body healthy. Each transformation is literally sucking the life out of him. I propose that if we find that Remus does have a high hormone level of CCK in his blood, we can start modifying his diet. We would starve the body of fat during the trigger phase, the full moon, and then, perhaps with a few adjustments, he will never transform again!" she finished with a bright smile on her face.

Snape flung the paper on his desk and laughed. "You mean, after all this time, after all wizardkind has done, it all comes down to diet? No more Wolfsbane? My, my, Miss Granger, how these many years of a wizarding education was such a waste for you! You have discovered a Muggle theory to cure a wizarding disease! Whatever shall you dream up next?" he said dripping with sarcasm.

"You are an ass," she stated emotionlessly.

His eyes narrowed as he looked at her. She was not afraid of him nor was she intimidated. He was impressed.

"If you are quite finished, I shall explain further," she said curtly.

Snape crossed his arms over his thin chest. "Go on," he said softly.

"Remus shall always need to take his Wolfsbane. The cure is one that shall stave only the physical transformation, not the effects on the psyche. I am aware that Lycanthropy and Therianthropy are holistic in nature. And yes, I have approached this from a different point of view. I am Muggle-born, and I do see how potions can work better than most Muggle medicines. I do not think that this is a 'cure all.' I do have other theories. However, Remus is someone we both care deeply for, and he's getting worse...much worse! We need to find something now to stop these transformations, and if we have to do it by half-magic and half-Muggle means, well, why the bloody well not?" she asked boldly. "Have you any better ideas or schemes to offer?" she said sardonically.

Snape's eyes had a glint to them she couldn't identify.

"All right then, Miss Granger. I shall run the blood work on Remus and get you your results," he acquiesced.

"Oh, no!" she said angrily. "You aren't throwing me out on my arse, Professor!" She tapped on her chest and said, "I'm the one who found this test and shall assist you, or you can assist me. It's a Muggle test after all!" she said smugly.

"So that makes you the expert, eh?" he said tauntingly.

She narrowed her eyes and considered him. "You have a very strange glint in your eyes, Professor," she observed.

He came around his desk swiftly and wedged her between himself and the wooden edge.

"Remus told me once I would be a fool if I didn't take the chance to sexually harass you when the moment struck me," he said seductively.

She felt his erection hot on her hip. She looked at him unabashedly and said, "I'm not that kind of witch, Professor. I do not care for sexual harassment. It smacks of inequality. I would much rather prefer a mutual seduction if you don't mind." She gazed at him with wide eyes as she bit the bottom of her lip.

"I shall keep that in mind, Miss Granger," he replied huskily. He then stepped back from her and let her retrieve her belongings.

Hermione couldn't resist teasing him. "Oh, where did I leave that paper?" she said out loud to herself as she leaned over the desk. She slowly sifted through the papers on his desk, knowing he was standing right behind her, getting a full shot of her arse in her tight skirt. She had not yet put on her robe that she'd removed. She was so glad she was wearing her skirt today, even if she had tights on.

She felt two large hands grab her hips, and she was slammed backwards into something that was very hard against her bum. She braced her hands on the table as she felt the grip on her hips tighten, and she was thrust again against the hardness with even more force. This time she knew exactly what the "hardness" was. She was excited and terrified at the same time. She snatched her paper and twisted herself free from his grasp. She turned to see the desire in his eyes, and she knew she was blushing terribly.

"Be careful how you play games, Miss Granger," he warned her. His voice was deep and was careful to enunciate every word as he slowly leaned into her ear. He then nuzzled her with his nose and then flicked her ear with his tongue. She let out a very undignified squeak, and he chuckled deep in his throat. She closed her eyes, grabbed her bag and robe, and dashed out, feeling a trickle of hot liquid between her legs. Once she was out of sight, she dropped her things and slid to the cold stone floor. Her legs simply refused to support her. She exhaled and felt her heart racing at an alarming rate. She had to calm down, but she couldn't stop her face from smiling. She knew she had a stupid grin on her face, and she couldn't have cared less. He wanted her. He loved her. It was just a matter of time until he made her his.

***

Remus, Tonks, Snape, and Hermione were in the Potions lab ready to draw Remus' blood.

"I still do not see the reason for this undignified gathering!" Snape grumbled.

"Oh, Snape, you're just brassed off that you won't get a chance to feel up your girlfriend," Tonks said teasingly.

She received a glower from said potential groper.

Hermione snickered quietly by his side. He turned his glower towards her. "I think that will be quite enough from the both of you!" he snarled.

Remus sighed. "Let's get on with it. I'm feeling rather nervous enough as it is without all of you bickering and sniggering!" he said testily.

"Don't get all shirty, Remus," Tonks chided sweetly. "Everything is going to be fine."

"I'm glad you can be so confident," he said sourly.

After the blood was drawn, Hermione and Snape went to test it. When they returned, Remus and Tonks both jumped up.

"What took you so long? What is it? Is everything as Hermione thought?" Remus blurted out nervously.

Hermione raised her hands in front of her. "Hold on! Hold on!" she pleaded. "We have to wait a bit. These things take time. Why don't we have a drink?"

Snape poured for everyone, and Tonks dove right in, much to Snape's horror.

"So, how's things with you two?" she inquired brightly.

Snape handed her and Hermione a glass of wine. "I don't see that as any of your business, Nymphadora," he replied coolly.

"Hmm, I beg to differ. It seemed it was everyone's business for a while there. The both of you, sad and miserable, moping about the castle!" she said dramatically.

"Dora, why don't we just let Severus and Hermione tell us in their own good time," Lupin said diplomatically as he saw Snape open his mouth about to give his wife a tongue-lashing.

Snape was undeterred. "Miss Granger and I dedicating our efforts towards Remus' health. As she yet remains a student, I think the topic should be deemed off limits!" he said scathingly.

***

The results came back as Hermione had predicted, and a diet was then formulated to bypass his transformations. All they could do now was hope and wait.

Christmastime was upon them, and Hermione could not believe the semester had flown by so quickly. She had not told Severus, but she was sitting for her N.E.W.T.s early. Frankly, she just didn't want to wait anymore. She knew he would never be with her as long as she was a student, so she decided to work harder than ever on her studies. It was all just as well since Severus needed time to sort things out between Harry and himself. She also figured he needed to finally place Lily in the past where she would not be a stumbling block for their future.

***

The evening finally came for Remus to transform. Hermione stayed with Tonks and tried to keep her mind off what might or what might not be happening to her husband.

"I just love him so much, Hermione. I will love him no matter if there is a cure or not. But this is so important to him. I would hate to see his hopes dashed," she confided softly.

Hermione was very quiet. She really didn't know what to say. She wasn't married and could not begin to imagine how Tonks and Remus dealt with his illness, but she did know about love. She was now consumed with fear over Professor Snape's reaction if their theory did not work.

"Wotcher, Hermione," Tonks said softly.

Hermione smiled. "I'm sorry...wool-gathering," she explained.

"Mmm," Tonks said knowingly. "So, when are you going to let Snape know that you are sitting for your N.E.W.T.s early?"

"I thought I would let him know just before. Then he won't have the time to analyze and freak out over it," she said calculatingly.

Tonks snickered. "So, Hermione Granger has finally got her man! What ever shall you do once you have him?" she asked.

"I will keep him, love him, and generally take care of him for the rest of my life," she answered bluntly.

"It's all so simple, eh?" Tonks said flippantly.

Hermione snorted. "I never said it would be simple. It's just that the plan is simple. The execution shall be far more difficult."

"That sounds about right," Tonks replied thoughtfully. "I always imagined describing a relationship with Snape would have the word 'execution' in there, somewhere!" She giggled at the look on Hermione's face.

Hermione laughed in spite of herself.

***

Success was success. That was how Hermione put it. Any change in the right direction was a success. Remus had not fully transformed, but he still sprouted fur, so there was a slight transformation. However, he felt better than he had in the decades since he was first bitten. He had no extreme aftereffects of exhaustion and depletion, just mild discomfort. Hermione declared a more drastic change in his diet during the week before the next full moon might do the trick.

Remus was so ecstatic, it was impossible to not watch him with his wife and son and not feel happy for them. Snape watched Hermione's eyes as she interacted with the Lupins. He saw in her a deep longing as she held their son. Snape wanted to cry, he ached so badly. She wanted him to give her this life. She wanted to be his wife and have his babies. She, who had never loved anyone else, wanted him to provide this life.

The question still remained: could he give her all of this? He slipped out, thinking he wouldn't be missed, but he was wrong. Hermione's face fell as she turned to look at him and saw he was gone. Lupin closed the door, and the sympathetic look on his face said it all.

Hermione looked at Teddy, her eyes awash with tears, then handed him to Tonks.

"He'll never want a life with me, will he?" she asked Remus sadly.

Remus sat down across from her and took her shaking hands into his own. "No, Hermione, that's where you are mistaken. It's because he wants a life with you that makes him run. He's afraid. He's scared and doesn't know what to do with himself...or you, for that matter. I think you terrify him to bits," he admitted.

Tonks laughed. "Speaks from experience, this one does!" she retorted.

"I thought it was all settled!" Hermione said angrily. "He asked me if I would never leave him...he all but proposed marriage! Why can't he just accept that I love him and don't want to hurt him?"

Remus was quiet and then it sank in. Hermione's face turned dark and furious. "She!" Hermione shouted angrily. "What did she do to him, Remus?" she demanded.

"Hermione, it isn't our business!" he warned.

"It is so my business!" she contradicted hotly. "The man I love is in pain! He's been hurt so badly...what did she do to him?"

"Hermione, she committed suicide. She told him she loved him, lived with him as a wife, let him father her son, and then she killed herself. Severus can only see to blame himself. He believes he drove her to it. He's so convinced he is unlovable that the idea of you loving him and wanting a life with him terrifies him. It is all he has ever wanted and has spent the last twenty years talking himself into the fact that he is unworthy of it. It's frightening for him to have it all given to him on a silver platter, no strings attached."

Hermione had heard enough. She took her things and sadly left.