Learning to Live Again

A/N: For all of you who wants me to leave Hermione alone, here you go! None of this would even be possible without the help of RobisonRocket. I would have pulled my hair out and given up a long time ago if I didn't have her.

Learning to Live Again

Chapter 18

Two weeks later...

The waiting area at St. Mungo's was overloaded with Hermione's loved ones. News of her collapse traveled quickly, and now all they could do was wait. Severus and Draco took turns pacing about the long corridor while Ginny and Harry held tightly to one another in the corner. Remus was in the process of explaining the last few months to Susan. Dumbledore was huddled with Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, Fred, Ron, and Bill. George, however, chatted up the young resident Healer, Gwen Adams.

They were all gathered there for the same reason... Hermione was finally awake.

The door opened, and Healer Davis came out of Hermione's room. Severus scowled at her, which she ignored. "Hermione is awake. She is very fragile, so she is only allowed two visitors at a time. She would like to see her mother first."

After Susan Granger retreated into Hermione's room, silence fell again. They didn't have long to wait, however, for Susan reemerged moments later beckoning for Remus to join her. He flushed a bit and then followed her in.

Remus didn't dare show any signs of affection toward Susan until Hermione brought it to his attention. "Remus," she said faintly. "You can stop pretending that you and my mother are just friendly acquaintances. I couldn't be happier that the two of you have found each other. I've been telling my mother that she needs to find someone. It's been two years since my father died. I can't think of two people more deserving."

Remus blushed again, but said, "Thank you."

Susan smiled at her daughter. "Hermione, why didn't you tell me what happened to you? Remus filled me in on most of it, but that nice young man, Draco, filled me in on the rest."

Hermione pursed her lips. "I'll bet he did. Did he happen to tell you that we are bound, and now he wants us to get married and live happily ever after?" Hermione asked dryly.

Susan assessed her daughter and replied, "Yes, something like that. He also said you were expecting his child. Hermione, I can't say I'm thrilled with the circumstances, but I can't deny that the idea of a grandchild is very exciting."

Hermione was perplexed. "H-he told you about the baby? What did he say? When did you talk to him?"

Susan smiled sweetly at her daughter. "Well, I guess being unconscious for two weeks would cause my curious little girl to have a lot of questions. Draco told me that the two of you were expecting a child in the spring. He said that even though you are bound by magic, you still plan to make it official. And he told me all of this in a period of two weeks. We talked almost every day while we both sat here, waiting for you to wake up."

"He was here every day?" Hermione asked, surprised.

"Oh, yes," Susan replied. "He was worried sick about you, Hermione. I don't think he ate much while he was here, and I'm sure he didn't sleep. Bless him, when the Healers kicked him out of your room, he threw a fit. He finally begged them to let him stay. He spent the first two days in a chair, and the Healers finally relented and brought him a cot. He would only leave your side when the Healers needed to examine you and the baby."

Hermione looked at the chair that her mother indicated and felt her heart in her throat. The chair was small, without much cushion. Her eyes watered a bit when she thought of the arrogant, insufferable Slytherin Prince, sleeping in the extremely uncomfortable looking chair. She sighed.

"I'm sure... um... I'm sure he was just concerned about the baby." Hermione flushed at what she believed to be true.

Susan frowned in thought. "Well, that's possible, I suppose. However, the Healers reassured him that the baby was fine just a few hours after we brought you here. Hermione, he has been here day and night for two weeks, waiting for you. Perhaps you shouldn't keep the poor boy waiting any longer. Remus and I can go, now that I know you're going to be alright. I'll check back with you in the morning." Susan and Remus took turns kissing Hermione on the forehead.

Susan stopped before she reached the door. "So, do you want me to send Draco in?"

Hermione hesitated for a moment and then shook her head. "I would like to see Ron and Harry, if it's alright – and Ginny, if they'll let her in with Harry. But, Mum, tell Draco not to leave. I do want to see him – I just want to see everyone else first."

After Susan sent Harry, Ginny, and Ron into Hermione's room, Draco looked hopefully at her. "I'm sorry, Draco, she's not ready to see you yet," Susan said solemnly.

Draco sighed heavily and headed toward the corridor. Susan told him to wait, and he turned around. "Darling, Hermione wants to see you, she just wants you to be last. I expect she will want to keep you in there longer." Susan gave Draco a knowing smile when his face lit up. Draco returned to his pacing; however, his step was more anxious than worried.

After the last of the Weasley family left, Severus took his turn. She smiled guiltily at him when he entered. Taking his seat next to the bed, he crossed his arms and scowled at her.

"I believe that you have punished yourself quite enough, therefore I will not reprimand you for you escape. However, I want you to remember your time here for the rest of your life, Hermione. The seriousness of this event is insurmountable. I hope, in the future, you will recall the time you almost killed yourself and your child for your foolish insecurities."

Hermione paled. "I thought you weren't going to reprimand me, sir."

Severus leaned forward and sneered, "I didn't."

Sheepishly, Hermione looked down at her hands. "I'm sorry, Severus. I know you're right. I don't know what's wrong with me. I just felt like dying, and I didn't care what the consequences were because I knew that Draco didn't care. Mum told me that he's been here every day. Did you talk to him? Did you ask him about Pansy?"

Severus nodded. "It was a misunderstanding, Hermione. You heard Draco trying to appease Miss Parkinson so she would leave him alone. I saw everything in his head. I would be willing to show you what I saw, if you don't believe me."

"No, that's not necessary. I believe you. I just feel awful that I didn't believe Draco. I'm going to talk to him about it. I'm going to ask him to forgive me."

Severus stood. "I believe now would be as good a time as any. I will send him in. I will be away for a few days; however, I will check on you again when I return."

"If you don't mind me asking, where are you going?"

Severus regarded her with shining black eyes. Hermione caught a shadow of something like hope flash across his face before he quickly schooled his features.

"I'm going to Paris, Hermione, to retrieve something I lost many years ago. How long I'll be gone will depend on how well things go." Severus looked forlornly out the window. "Of course, if things go better than I expect, my length of departure could be extended indefinitely." He bowed slightly to Hermione and exited the room.

Before Hermione had time to contemplate the uncommon actions of her former Potions master, the door opened slowly. Shock was not a good enough word to describe Hermione's reaction to Draco's appearance. The debonair grace of his stride had been replaced by anxious baby steps of a frightened child. The arrogant petulance of his demeanor had been replaced by weariness and exhaustion. The perfectly coiffed, platinum hair had been replaced by tresses that looked as if he had run his hands through them too often to count. Hermione closed her eyes in unbridled guilt.

Sighing heavily, and seeing that Draco still hadn't moved beyond the threshold, she sat up straight in her bed. "Please sit down. Draco. I have something I need to say to you."

Tentatively, Draco entered and took the chair that he'd spent two terrified days on. He found that he couldn't quite meet her eye.

"I need you to look at me, Draco. I need to know that you see me while I apologize." Draco jerked his head up and met her eyes. She was taken aback by the dark circles that marred his porcelain skin. He looked so tired and a bit lost.

"I overreacted, Draco, to the things I heard you say to Pansy. I don't know why I didn't just come to you first. I'm not even sure it was you I was running away from. I think part of me just wanted to be free from everything – from the Wizarding world, Lucius, this baby, and yes, Draco, even you, and my feelings for you. Unfortunately, I couldn't run from myself." Hermione sighed heavily. "Draco, please understand. I wasn't mad at you – not really. Somewhere deep inside, I knew there was something more to what I heard you say to Pansy. I don't know, I guess, I was just looking for a reason to run, and the opportunity presented itself. The pumpkin that broke the Hippogriff's back, if you will."

"I'm not proud of the consequences, Draco, but I can't say that I didn't expect them. I just felt ashamed of myself that day. When I heard you talking to her, I just felt like I was trapping you, and I don't ever want to feel that way again." Hermione remained stoic through all of this, willing herself not to cry.

Draco reached for her hand. "The last think I want is for you to feel trapped. I have been doing a lot of thinking while I've been here. I've talked to your mother, Harry, Ginny, and even Ron. You've brought us all together, I suppose. So many people love you, Hermione; you could have talked to anyone about the way you've been feeling."

Hermione smiled sadly. "My mum told me you said the baby was yours. Why didn't you tell her the truth?"

Draco shrugged. "It's just the way I feel, I guess. I want so much for this baby to be mine; I think I'm trying to convince myself as much as anyone else. The funny thing is, though, nobody questioned me on it. Nobody made a move to correct me."

Hermione chuckled. "They probably want to believe it as much as you do – as much as I do."

Draco smiled widely at her.

"Anyway, you said you talked to my mother. What did you two talk about? She seemed to be awfully taken with you."

Draco blushed a little at that. "Well, I'm awfully taken by her as well. Your mum is brilliant, Hermione. She told me all about your father and your childhood. She told me about her dentistry and explained how it works without magic. I was really impressed. I can see where you get your cleverness. If she were a witch, I swear she would have been sorted into Slytherin." Draco laughed. "She had Lupin panting after her. That poor man is besotted. Anyway, she and I had a nice long talk. She made me realize some things that I didn't think were even in my repertoire. My talks with her were enlightening."

"Really? You think she would have made a good Slytherin, huh? I guess, coming from you, that is quite a compliment. What on earth did my mother manipulate you into realizing?" Hermione beamed, but the laughter in her eyes died when she watch Draco's face grow contemplative.

"She made me realize that I've been a complete fool for a very long time. I lived an entire lifetime without realizing that there is an entire life that I've missed out on. She asked me why, if we were forced into a bond, I would spend every waking moment waiting for you to open your eyes. When I told her I was worried about you, she laughed at me. Can you believe I let a Muggle laugh at me, and I didn't even flinch?"

"Anyway, when I asked her what was so funny, she told me a little story. She said when she was in the hospital when you were born, your father never left her side. She said she was out cold for a while, and he was so worried. She said that when she looked at my disheveled appearance, I reminded her of your father. She told me to think about why I was really there."

"I told her that I wanted to be there when you woke up. I said that I was afraid you'd wake up, and I'd miss it. I told her that I was afraid that I'd lost you. And do you know what she asked me?"

Hermione smiled through her tears. "No, what did she ask you?"

"She asked me what I was afraid to lose. Silly question, if you ask me. But I started thinking about it. She wasn't asking me if I was afraid to lose a person. She was asking me if I was afraid to lose a moment."

"She is quite the Slytherin, isn't she?" Hermione said aloud.

"I told you she was. Anyway, she decided to go for coffee and left me with you and my thoughts, and my thoughts about you. I felt something I've never felt before. I realized that she was right. I was afraid of losing a moment – afraid I'd lost a chance that I'd never get back."

"And what chance did you lose, Draco?" Hermione placed her hand on his cheek. He kissed her palm and then grabbed her hands. Draco drew her up to sit on the edge of the bed.

"I'm not very good at this, Hermione, because I'm just a ridiculous male. I never recognized the symptoms because I've never felt them before, and I wasn't even sure I ever could."

Hermione started to speak, but Draco interrupted her before she could say anything. "It's weird, this feeling. My stomach gets all tied up in knots, and I start to feel like a first-year."

Draco was pacing the floor now, and his nervousness was making Hermione uneasy. "Draco, I've never seen you like this before. Are you okay?"

"No, Hermione, I'm not okay. I'm in love, alright. I'm desperately in love with you. At least that's what Harry says is my problem. He knew the symptoms right away. I think there's only one thing I can do about it."

He looked over at Hermione, who had both hands covering her mouth in shock. Getting herself back together, she spoke carefully. "Wh-what is it that you think you can do about it?"

Draco stopped in front of her and dropped to his knees. He grabbed the chain from around his neck and pulled. Hermione gasped in confusion when he broke his chain. However, when she saw what was on it, she started to tremble.

Draco held a simple platinum band with one respectably sized diamond in the middle. He took her trembling hand and, licking his lips, looked into her eyes. "I'm not really sure how I'm supposed to ask this, so I'm going to give it my best shot. There's a really pretty band that goes with this ring, Hermione. I'd love to give it to you, but the only way I can is if you marry me."

Hermione let the tears flow freely, but couldn't form any words. Draco started to wince at the pain in his knees. "Um, Hermione, do you want to marry me?"

Hermione threw her arms around him and kissed him all over his face. "Yes, Draco, I want to marry you. Oh, Draco, I love you, too."

Draco stilled. "You-you love me, too? Hermione, you don't have to say that just because I did."

"I know I don't, Draco. I've loved you for a long time. If I didn't, I wouldn't have cared what you said to Pansy. Oh, I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to figure it out."

They sat on the floor for a long time, talking quietly about their future, her mother and Lupin, Draco going back to work, and Hermione's dream of doing private research.

"What do you want to research?" Draco asked with his arms wrapped tightly around her.

Hermione was absentmindedly admiring her ring. "I don't know – probably potions. Maybe Severus will let me work with him."

"He might," said Draco. "I think you'd be brilliant."

"Thank you for the vote of confidence. We'll see." Hermione noticed Draco's wistful expression. "What are you thinking about?"

"I'm thinking that just yesterday, I didn't know whether you'd live or die. I was afraid I'd never get the chance to tell you how I feel. And I most certainly never thought I'd see that ring on your finger."

Hermione kissed him on the cheek. "Draco, there's only one reason I have this ring on my finger."

He arched his eyebrows at her. "Oh, yeah -- and what reason is that?"

She rolled her eyes derisively. "Well, obviously so I can get the one that goes with it."