Memories

A/N: Thank you to my betas RobisonRocket and juliannanight! I own nothing but the plot.

Hermione was having a nightmare. She was in a tunnel, and she was being tossed from side to side. "Please stop," she said as she tried to open her eyes. But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't get them to open. Then she heard someone calling to her.

"Miss Granger. Wake up. You need to wake up."

It wasn't a dream. She was being shaken. But why couldn't she open her eyes? She tried to sit up, but pain beyond anything she could have ever imagined coursed through her, and she felt like she was on fire. The pain was so intense that she leaned over the side of the bed and retched.

"Scourgify." She heard a low hiss from somewhere above her.

Hermione lay back down. When she finally pried her eyes open, she looked around. The only other person in the unfamiliar room was Professor Snape. She closed her eyes again. With her voice cracking, she whispered, "What's going on, Professor? Why are we here? Where is here?"

Snape didn't answer her. Instead, with an uncharacteristically soft tone, he asked, "Miss Granger, what is the last thing you remember?"

The last thing I remember? The last thing I remember? Hermione looked at Professor Snape with horror in her eyes. "All I remember is Lucius Malfoy laughing... and--" Hermione averted her eyes and mumbled something Snape couldn't hear.

"Miss Granger, I understand this might be difficult for you, but you must tell me exactly what you remember. Did he hex you? Did he make you drink a potion? Did he say something that might be of importance?"

"I don't remember anything he said. All I remember is being hit with a Stunning Spell. Lucius brought me out of it, but I don't know how much time had passed. I remember...OH MERLIN!" Hermione looked under the sheet and realized she was naked. She looked at Snape and pulled the sheet tighter to herself. Snape sighed. "This is how I found you. I'm sorry, Miss Granger. I covered you as soon as I saw you." Snape shifted in his seat, apparently uncomfortable.

"It's alright, Professor. I appreciate you covering me up."

"Think... uh... nothing of it. Please continue."

Tears stung her eyes as she fought to remember. "Lucius knocked Malfoy out with his wand. Oh no! Malfoy! Is he alright?"

"He's resting. Please, Miss Granger, I need to know everything." Hermione noticed that Snape had a sad look in his eyes, but decided it was best to just to carry on.

"I remember Lucius tearing my clothes off." Hermione spoke without looking at Snape. She proceeded to tell him what she could remember, and then she stopped. "Professor, there is something missing. There's so much I don't remember. Please, can't you just look into my mind to get the rest of my memories? It hurts too much for me to try to remember."

Again he didn't answer her. Instead he moved his wand over her face and performed a healing charm. He looked at her with sadness and asked, "Is that better?"

"A little...thank you. What is the matter with me? Why am I in so much pain?"

"Lucius must have roughed you up. I'm sorry. I can only ease the pain. The bruises and the swelling will have to go away on their own. If I tried a Concealment Charm, it might cause the pain to reemerge.

Are you quite sure you want me to use Legilimency on you? Sometimes, if there is something you don't want me to see, it can be quite painful."

"Professor, you've seen me starkers. I doubt there's anything left of me that I need to hide." Hermione was trying to make light of the situation, but Snape understood her discomfort.

"Miss Granger, sometimes there are things inside one's mind that are much more revealing than the bare skin. However, I will only look for your memories with Lucius Malfoy. If I venture elsewhere -- I give you my word -- I will pull myself out."

With the nod of Hermione's head, Snape pointed his wand at her and whispered, "Legilimens!"

When Snape entered Hermione's mind, the first things he saw were the images that she had already described. It seemed he didn't have to actually look for them. He could tell that Hermione was pushing the images forth as best she could. He smiled at that. He didn't know if she was doing it to make sure he didn't find anything else or if she wanted to make sure he knew she trusted him. He decided he didn't care, but appreciated the help nonetheless.

When he came to the part where she stopped her account of the events, his stomach turned. He knew that Lucius had beaten her because he'd seen her face, but he didn't know how passionate Lucius was about his beatings. Anger rose up in Snape as he watched. He had seen horrors in his life, but this was his student. This was someone he actually cared about on some level. As hard as it was, he had to continue on in order to see exactly what happened to Hermione.

After watching Lucius rip Hermione's clothes off and put his hands where they didn't belong, he expected Hermione to make a move to get him out of her head. Instead of pushing him away, however, she seemed to be trying harder to show him her memories. Snape was so focused on Lucius, he nearly missed Draco. Hermione must have seen him because these were her memories.

Draco approached Lucius slowly, but before he got to her, everything went black. Snape assumed that Hermione was trying to block this memory from him. He was about to leave when there was another scene presented before him. Hermione was on the bed, crying. Her face was bloody, and her clothes were torn off of her. Lucius was standing up, refastening his trousers -- Snape cringed -- he knew what that meant.

What it must have cost Hermione to show him this memory, he didn't want to know. He was sure this would break her, but she kept pushing. He found himself fascinated by how much trust she had in him. He had to stop himself from pulling out of her mind. It was hard enough for him to watch; he couldn't imagine what she must've been going through.

Just then, he noticed Draco was coming from a different direction. He seemed to be slightly dazed. In an instant, Lucius raised his wand toward Hermione. As the jet of black sparks flew toward her, Draco jumped on top of her and covered her completely. It was a strangled cry -- barely above a whisper -- but Snape heard Lucius say, "No... Draco!" And the memory ended.

Snape stayed for a brief moment to see if anything else would appear, but nothing happened. As he made his way to pull out, there were flashes of Hermione's memory that he couldn't help but notice. He became mesmerized as he watched a young girl with bouncing brown curls, playing on a swing set. The memory changed, and the same little girl was walking into what must have been her house. She was just a couple of years older...maybe 7 or 8...Snape wasn't sure. The minute she came in, her attention was drawn to the sound of her mother on the phone, crying.

The memory shifted again. Hermione was the same age, but sitting in what looked like a church. She was wearing black and staring blankly ahead. There were other people around...some crying -- others wearing solemn expressions. Snape assumed they were at a funeral.

The memory shifted again. This time, Hermione was getting on the Hogwarts Express. She was asking Harry and Ron if they'd seen a toad. The memory shifted again, and she was at school. She sat alone in the Great Hall and got the occasional sneer from the Slytherin table. The memories were starting to shift more quickly now.

Snape knew he should be pulling himself out like he had promised, but something told him that he needed to stay. There was a purpose to all of this.

Now they were in the courtyard at Hogwarts, and Hermione was crying. She ran past Potter and Weasley. Weasley had said something that Snape couldn't hear because he was focused on Hermione. The memory shifted again, and Hermione was in the bathroom with the Mountain Troll.

The memory shifted again, and they were in the Department of Mysteries. A 15-year-old Hermione was fighting against a group of Death Eaters.

The memory shifted again, and it showed an 18-year-old Hermione in a church again. But this time, it was her father's funeral. He had suffered a heart attack just weeks after Hermione graduated from Hogwarts. Snape was standing at the back of the church with Tonks. They had attended so they could stand guard. Hermione was sitting in a pew with silent tears falling down her cheeks. She was flanked on each side by her mother and Ron Weasley. Potter and his new bride were sitting behind her.

Snape waited for her memories to shift again, but they didn't. Hermione didn't try to push him away, but there was a feeling of finality the air. Snape eased himself out of her mind with a whispered, "Finite Incantatem."

Snape stood, staring at Hermione with bewilderment. Then he asked with one word, "Why?" Hermione had the grace to look guilty, but she turned her chin up in defiance.

Instead of answering his question right away, she said something that caught him completely off guard. "You've always taken care of me. You've always been there, haven't you? Not because of Harry. I know that you've always looked after Harry on Dumbledore's orders, but that's not the only reason you did it. And that's not the only reason you've always looked after me." This was not a question. Hermione wasn't looking for confirmation, so she continued.

"You've had other reasons for looking out for Harry Potter. I've known it for a while now. I remember the look on your face when you were trying to do the countercurse to keep him from falling off of his broom. Remember? At the time, we thought you were the one trying to curse his broom. I didn't really think about it much at the time, but in retrospect, I saw your face. You weren't merely trying to pay some wizard's debt that you owed his father. There was something else. You wanted to keep him safe. I can imagine all of the times that you tried to keep yourself two or three steps ahead of him, just to keep him safe. It was more than a duty to Dumbledore, and it was more than a debt repayment to James Potter."

Snape's eyes narrowed at the mention of James, but he allowed her to continue without interruption.

"And, of course, looking out for Harry would give you the job of looking out for his closest friends as well. But you were always extra careful with me. I know that you requested to attend my father's funeral. I remember the look on your face when you saw the troll in the girls' bathroom. I also know that you came to visit me, if only for a moment, while I was petrified."

"There are times when you relax your shoulders or your eyes. And there are times when you remove your scowl from your face, even though you put it right back in place. I notice these things because I look for them. I have always admired you, Professor. I realized, a long time ago, that you sort of drew the short straw in this life. So, just like everything else, I have studied you. And, I've noticed that you are a bit soft when it comes to me. One day, I hope that you will tell me why. But I know that day isn't going to be today."

Hermione looked at him with confidence, but he just stared back at her at a loss for words. She sighed and continued, "So, being that you have been quite protective, I know this incident with Lucius is probably harder to swallow than you'd like to admit. I wanted you to see me at my weakest moments so you would know that this will not break me."

There was silence once again, and Snape knew that the interview was over for the time being. He stood as the flames in the fireplace came to life, signaling a Floo call. He was expecting Dumbledore, but he drew his wand just in case. When he saw the old man's face, he put his wand back in his robes and knelt down. He exchanged a few brief words with Dumbledore and stood.

"It is safe for us to return to the castle. We will have you looked over and then move you and Draco to the Black house where you will remain until Lucius has been apprehended."

Hermione made a move to protest, but Snape put a hand up. "This is not up for discussion, Miss Granger. Right now, you and Draco are in more danger than you realize. Now, I will leave you for a few moments while I retrieve Draco. Here." Snape removed his outer robes and laid them on the bed at Hermione's feet. "You can wear this until we get to Hogwarts."

When Snape reached the door, he stopped. Without turning to look at Hermione, he spoke softly, "Incidentally, I did not perceive those memories to be your weakest moments. Quite the contrary..." Snape stopped himself, afraid his voice would betray him.

"Professor?" Hermione asked, concerned by the change in Snape's demeanor. He sighed and turned to fix her with a piercing look that would scare any first year.

"They were your strongest." With that, Snape walked out of the room, leaving Hermione shocked and confused.