The Witches of Gilford
pyjamapants438 Reviews | 6.84/10 (438 Ratings, 0 Likes, 373 Favorites )
The war and subsequent clean-up has ended, and the wizarding world is beginning to come out of its shell. Having had enough of Hermione and Severus's bookworm, introverted ways, Molly and Minerva give well-intentioned Christmas gifts aiming to push our heroes out of their comfort zones and into the arms of a well-read, like-minded witch or wizard. Will our heroes ally to survive with their wits intact? Will they overcome their personal demons? Will they find love within the pages of the detested novel?
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About pyjamapants
Author
pyjamapants
Member Since 2006 | 12 Stories | Favorited by 144 | 277 Reviews Written | 893 Review Responses
I'm a freelancing Yank who lives in the Midwest with her husband, three cats, and two dogs.
I'm a dabbler by nature. Jack of all trades, master of none. I write, run, swim, garden, quilt, bake, and so on.
Reviews for The Witches of Gilford
“They certainly did. I'm happy to say that I barely recall the book, but I'm completely caught up on Eastenders,” Hermione said with a self-satisfied smile.You're made of win! That reference is just... classic!
Response from pyjamapants (Author of The Witches of Gilford)
I'm so very glad I could entertain!Thanks for the review!
Response from pyjamapants (Author of The Witches of Gilford)
I'm so very glad I could entertain!Thanks for the review!
That was amusing and sad, I can see how Hermione's project was born. Poor Ron.
Response from pyjamapants (Author of The Witches of Gilford)
I'm glad the chapter had its desired effect. Looks like it's time for Hermione to begin working on exorcising her personal demons! Thanks for the review!
Response from pyjamapants (Author of The Witches of Gilford)
I'm glad the chapter had its desired effect. Looks like it's time for Hermione to begin working on exorcising her personal demons! Thanks for the review!
I wasn't a bit surprise that Severus and Hermione both suffered cold feet about their meeting-before-the-meeting. But I wasn't a bit surprised that they had enjoyed their evening. After all, whiskey and cider have been social lubricants for centuries!Eunice Greengrass' comment that she would love to get to know Nigel Reese, an extremely handsome wizard, more personally had me howling with laughter. That's the very reason all of us are here reading SS/HG fanfic!!!
Wonderfully entertaining, funny, and a little pathos... this is a great combination for a story. Well done!Beth
Response from pyjamapants (Author of The Witches of Gilford)
Thank you for your glowing review!
Response from pyjamapants (Author of The Witches of Gilford)
Thank you for your glowing review!
So much to love in this chapter! Everyone is drunk at one point or another, the confrontation wtih Minerva was fabulously done, and Hermione thinking that perhaps Malfoy wrote the novel was priceless! And lucky for me, since I somehow missed it when ch 2 updated, there is another chapter waiting for me! Yay!! :)
Response from pyjamapants (Author of The Witches of Gilford)
Why thank you! It is unbelievably fun to channel angry Snape. A stonewalled, speechless Snape is even better.Thanks for the review!
Response from pyjamapants (Author of The Witches of Gilford)
Why thank you! It is unbelievably fun to channel angry Snape. A stonewalled, speechless Snape is even better.Thanks for the review!
I can just see them sitting at the back whispering snarky comments during the meeting!
Response from pyjamapants (Author of The Witches of Gilford)
Indeed. It seems like the only way to survive, other than casting Silencio on all the participants.Thanks for the review!
Response from pyjamapants (Author of The Witches of Gilford)
Indeed. It seems like the only way to survive, other than casting Silencio on all the participants.Thanks for the review!
I love how they're figuring out new ways to avoid reading the book. LOVE it! LOL Perhaps not as witty as the other two chapters, but necessary all the time and entertaining (just in a different way). Poor Ron ... what a gruesome way to die, and I like how Hermione did something in an effort to prevent such a tragedy from occuring again.Looking forward to the next chapter!
Response from pyjamapants (Author of The Witches of Gilford)
Life is all about having the right coping mechanisms, isn't it? Alas, the wittiness may subsibe while our favorite characters wrangle with their personal demons. Hopefully Ron's death didn't gross you out too much.Thanks for the review!
Response from pyjamapants (Author of The Witches of Gilford)
Life is all about having the right coping mechanisms, isn't it? Alas, the wittiness may subsibe while our favorite characters wrangle with their personal demons. Hopefully Ron's death didn't gross you out too much.Thanks for the review!
Oh, Gawd! I've been in meetings like this book club, and it was pure torture. You know how it is when you have more work to do than you have time to do, and your employer requires every employee to attend "team building classes." The "touchy-feely" kind? I couldn't wait to get out of there! Getting pleasantly pickled beforehand was not an option, otherwise I can think of a dozen workers who would have shown up smashed.I adored Severus description of young Tom Riddle's reaction to being "given a blanket from one of these hens."
I look forward to Severus and Hermione's meeting before the meeting at 6:15 at the Cauldron next Tuesday. Whacha wanna bet one or both show up early? Or maybe they'll be so nervous that they'll show up late.... Nah!This chapter is even better than the first!!!Beth
Response from pyjamapants (Author of The Witches of Gilford)
Those meetings are painful indeed. "Forced Fun" can be even worse. I recall a bowling outing (during work hours) the week that the office moved and whilst I was neck deep in a major project. I'm glad you're enjoying the story! Thanks for the review!
Response from pyjamapants (Author of The Witches of Gilford)
Those meetings are painful indeed. "Forced Fun" can be even worse. I recall a bowling outing (during work hours) the week that the office moved and whilst I was neck deep in a major project. I'm glad you're enjoying the story! Thanks for the review!
what a hoot! a drunk snape is a tolerent snape! love this story. thanks so much and i look forward to more.
Response from pyjamapants (Author of The Witches of Gilford)
You're quite welcome. I hope you enjoy the rest! Thanks for the review!
Response from pyjamapants (Author of The Witches of Gilford)
You're quite welcome. I hope you enjoy the rest! Thanks for the review!
I just started reading this today. Both chapters were funny and moved along nicely. I would totally kill any friend of mine that would sign me up for something like that! Oh those women want my foot up their butt for thinking Nigel is the best thing ever. Gah. Anyways, this is lots of fun and I can't wait for more! Cheers! ~Brena
Response from pyjamapants (Author of The Witches of Gilford)
ROFL. I'm happy to have created a most detested leading character. Fortunately, the book club ladies aren't the main characters. Otherwise, I don't think I could stand to listen to them anymore either!Thanks for your review.
Response from pyjamapants (Author of The Witches of Gilford)
ROFL. I'm happy to have created a most detested leading character. Fortunately, the book club ladies aren't the main characters. Otherwise, I don't think I could stand to listen to them anymore either!Thanks for your review.
Heeee. I 'enjoyed' the bit from the book, and Hermione and Severus trying to come up with something nice to say about it was just wonderful.Ooh, but Minerva is evil - making Severus suffer like this! Then again, it seems to be leading to something much more pleasant...
Response from pyjamapants (Author of The Witches of Gilford)
I'm very glad you 'enjoyed' the book. After all, isn't one of the cardinal rules of writing 'show don't tell'? None of you would have believed how awful it was without reading it yourself, right?Minerva is a stinker, isn't she? No one could be a cat Animagus and NOT be just a little evil.Thanks for your review.
Response from pyjamapants (Author of The Witches of Gilford)
I'm very glad you 'enjoyed' the book. After all, isn't one of the cardinal rules of writing 'show don't tell'? None of you would have believed how awful it was without reading it yourself, right?Minerva is a stinker, isn't she? No one could be a cat Animagus and NOT be just a little evil.Thanks for your review.
This is really entertaining, bordering on outright hilarious. Rock on PajamaPants!
Can't wait for next week's book club!
Response from pyjamapants (Author of The Witches of Gilford)
Why, thank you! I'm glad I could entertain. Excellent emoticons!Thanks again for your review!
Response from pyjamapants (Author of The Witches of Gilford)
Why, thank you! I'm glad I could entertain. Excellent emoticons!Thanks again for your review!
Here on a rec from sshg316. This was excellent and very funny. As I was reading there was something tickling my brain and I only figured it out once I read your note. I've read at least one of those Mitford books, but apparently blanked it entirely. I definitely won't be doing that with your story! Now on to chapter 2.
Response from pyjamapants (Author of The Witches of Gilford)
I'm so glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for the lovely review and for letting me know how you found it.
Response from pyjamapants (Author of The Witches of Gilford)
I'm so glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for the lovely review and for letting me know how you found it.
Oh how I loved this chapter let me count the ways:
1. Comparing Snape’s temper to a dormant fault line
2. Minerva’s getting up Snape’s nose on purpose
3. The lurid purple prose that is The Witches of Gilford
4. “Swan around” is just the most perfect description
5. Fucking Ginny
6. A drunk Snape
7. It’s a date next week!!!!!!!!!! Squeeeee!!!!!!!
Response from pyjamapants (Author of The Witches of Gilford)
Thank you! It's entertaining to read different people's favorite parts (almost wrote 'bits', but that's later in the story). ;)I'm really glad I was inspired to include Richmond Greenleaf's text. It wasn't in the first draft of the chapter, but I certainly can't imagine how readers could survive without sharing Hermione and Severus's pain. :)Thanks again for the review!
Response from pyjamapants (Author of The Witches of Gilford)
Thank you! It's entertaining to read different people's favorite parts (almost wrote 'bits', but that's later in the story). ;)I'm really glad I was inspired to include Richmond Greenleaf's text. It wasn't in the first draft of the chapter, but I certainly can't imagine how readers could survive without sharing Hermione and Severus's pain. :)Thanks again for the review!
The second chapter is great--I can't wait for more! The humor is very good!You did such a good job writing the nauseating passage from the book and the adoring book club members (in addition to the two members who hated it--I love your Hermione and Severus). Ooh, and they're going on a kinda-sorta-date-thingy next week. I'm looking forward to it!
Response from pyjamapants (Author of The Witches of Gilford)
What? I'm particularly glad you enjoyed the book excerpt. It was a lot of fun to write. I'll admit I was inspired with dreams of submitting it to the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest.Thanks for the review!
Response from pyjamapants (Author of The Witches of Gilford)
What? I'm particularly glad you enjoyed the book excerpt. It was a lot of fun to write. I'll admit I was inspired with dreams of submitting it to the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest.Thanks for the review!
I think it most unfair that you applied the compulsion on us to read the book alongside Severus and Hermione 
Does it worry you to find you can write such twaddle convincingly?I do hope we get to see them in the pub together thinking up things to say about the book in the meetings, or Molly's/Minerva's reaction when they realise the only socialising wll be between Severus and Hermione.
Response from DawnEB (Reviewer)
PS I love it!
Response from pyjamapants (Author of The Witches of Gilford)
Mmwahaha. Made you read about Nigel Reese! Hey, I figured if THEY had to suffer then we ALL had to suffer. Severus does seem to enjoy life more when everyone is miserable when he is. :)Thanks for the review. I'm glad you loved it.
Response from DawnEB (Reviewer)
PS I love it!
Response from pyjamapants (Author of The Witches of Gilford)
Mmwahaha. Made you read about Nigel Reese! Hey, I figured if THEY had to suffer then we ALL had to suffer. Severus does seem to enjoy life more when everyone is miserable when he is. :)Thanks for the review. I'm glad you loved it.
you are so wonderfully funny!they had concluded that she needed to get up Severus’s nose a bit - an easy enough task considering the size of the man's nose and the long list of things that would annoy him. and then Minerva knows from the house points going down that he's angry.They all twittered like magpies, giggled like first years, and dressed like Dolores Umbridge.Hermione briefly wondered if Malfoy could have written The Witches of Gilford. And Snape is tipsy! I think I love you.
Response from pyjamapants (Author of The Witches of Gilford)
Aw, shucks. I love you too.Thanks for the lovely review. It's really entertaining to hear everyone's favorite parts. I can't wait for someone to list one of the gems I buried. :)
Response from pyjamapants (Author of The Witches of Gilford)
Aw, shucks. I love you too.Thanks for the lovely review. It's really entertaining to hear everyone's favorite parts. I can't wait for someone to list one of the gems I buried. :)
Wonderful, absolutely wonderful! I love this story, I love your drunk Severus and I can't wait to see how a drunk Hermione will handle the next meeting, the ladies at the book club migth get the shock of their life:-)The image of Tom Riddle with the cutest little blanket were priceless:-))
Response from pyjamapants (Author of The Witches of Gilford)
I'm so glad you liked it! Hopefully our venerated war heroes won't embarass themselves TOO much. They have reputations to uphold, after all. ;)I'm tickled that you liked the Tom Riddle blanket. I certainly laughed when I thought of it. (My dogs MUST think I'm insane)
Response from pyjamapants (Author of The Witches of Gilford)
I'm so glad you liked it! Hopefully our venerated war heroes won't embarass themselves TOO much. They have reputations to uphold, after all. ;)I'm tickled that you liked the Tom Riddle blanket. I certainly laughed when I thought of it. (My dogs MUST think I'm insane)
Omigosh, this is TOOO funny! I wondered what was wrong with me; I had so many people recommend the Mitford novels to me, and I LOATHED them. Thank you thank you thank you for writing this hilarious and very entertaining fanfic! Update soon, please! Can't wait to see drunk Hermione and Snape at the next meeting!
Response from pyjamapants (Author of The Witches of Gilford)
I'll reserve you a spot in the booth next to these two at the Leaky so that you can commiserate with them. :)Thanks for the excellent review!
Response from pyjamapants (Author of The Witches of Gilford)
I'll reserve you a spot in the booth next to these two at the Leaky so that you can commiserate with them. :)Thanks for the excellent review!
Did the contributions of the club participants "satisfy"? Well... you could satisfy us by having the ceiling fall in on them or something. [The club participants, not the contributions.] I'm waiting for a horrible catastrophe to befall them -- as surely it must -- and then I'll claim satisfaction. Deal? ;) Poor Severus and Hermione. Perhaps Minerva and Molly can be locked in with the hens for a while. That, too, would be satisfying. Anyway, it's been fun and I'm eager to see how our drunken principal characters get on at the next meeting. Thanks for your work!
Response from pyjamapants (Author of The Witches of Gilford)
Now, now. What would a story be without its protagonists? :) I can't kill them off in chapter 2, can I?I'm sure Severus and Hermione will get their digs in when it's their turn to present. *evil grin*
Response from Cerydden M_Layne (Reviewer)
Um...yeah. Yeah, you CAN kill them off in chapter two. It's OK. You won't get jail time or anything. Heck, Hermione would probably bail you out, anyway, though I don't know that Severus would. I'm not very good with suspense, but I'll try to hold on a while. Thanks again for your work!
Response from pyjamapants (Author of The Witches of Gilford)
Now, now. What would a story be without its protagonists? :) I can't kill them off in chapter 2, can I?I'm sure Severus and Hermione will get their digs in when it's their turn to present. *evil grin*
Response from Cerydden M_Layne (Reviewer)
Um...yeah. Yeah, you CAN kill them off in chapter two. It's OK. You won't get jail time or anything. Heck, Hermione would probably bail you out, anyway, though I don't know that Severus would. I'm not very good with suspense, but I'll try to hold on a while. Thanks again for your work!
I like where this is going so far, I know I would have to been drunk to attend a book club such as this...
Response from pyjamapants (Author of The Witches of Gilford)
Sadly, I fear some of the interaction may have been inspired by a recent luncheon with relatives. I'd just been to the chiropractor and listened while in excrutiating pain as they discussed their favorite potato recipes. I nearly died, and my mother nearly disowned me. Her fault for suggesting I schedule the appointment before lunch. :)I was not drunk. That might have made me more pleasant.
Response from pyjamapants (Author of The Witches of Gilford)
Sadly, I fear some of the interaction may have been inspired by a recent luncheon with relatives. I'd just been to the chiropractor and listened while in excrutiating pain as they discussed their favorite potato recipes. I nearly died, and my mother nearly disowned me. Her fault for suggesting I schedule the appointment before lunch. :)I was not drunk. That might have made me more pleasant.
Pleasantly pickled, terrifically tipsy, suitably sozzled, and brilliantly blotto. What a way to go!
Response from pyjamapants (Author of The Witches of Gilford)
Woot! Thanks for your enthusiastic review! I'm blissfully blushing, terrifically thankful, and ridiculously relieved!
Response from pyjamapants (Author of The Witches of Gilford)
Woot! Thanks for your enthusiastic review! I'm blissfully blushing, terrifically thankful, and ridiculously relieved!
Drunk Snape is generally an intertaining Snape. I have read the Mitford series, and I must admit that I would never had thought to combine Potterverse with Mitford mythology. It seems to be working well so far.I enjoy the mutual snarkiness from Snape and Hermione on being forced to read what they consider to be drivel.
Response from pyjamapants (Author of The Witches of Gilford)
Thanks for the review! I hope you weren't put off by the initial Mitford inspiration. I believe I was just casting about for a random book that they would loathe. My SIL had just read Tolstoy in her club, which is a bit outside the norm and likely would be accepted by this pair.
Response from pyjamapants (Author of The Witches of Gilford)
Thanks for the review! I hope you weren't put off by the initial Mitford inspiration. I believe I was just casting about for a random book that they would loathe. My SIL had just read Tolstoy in her club, which is a bit outside the norm and likely would be accepted by this pair.
hilarious!
Response from pyjamapants (Author of The Witches of Gilford)
Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Response from pyjamapants (Author of The Witches of Gilford)
Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it!
My dear, dear PajamaPants-- am enjoying this immensely. Promises to be hilarious, well-written, and, if it continues to delight me as much as it currently does (which I am sure it will!), one of my favorite stories. And I for one loved your OCs and their, uh, entertaining comments on that odious book. And a drunk!Severus! I like. Can't wait for the next chapter. ~kizzy
Response from pyjamapants (Author of The Witches of Gilford)
Why, thank you! I certainly hope it continues to delight you as well!
Response from pyjamapants (Author of The Witches of Gilford)
Why, thank you! I certainly hope it continues to delight you as well!
This kind of writing is what makes me a happy admin: carefully crafted scenes, excellent use of grammar and punctuation, and very funny to boot. Well, well done!
Response from pyjamapants (Author of The Witches of Gilford)
Goodness. I'm blushing!I owe the 'excellent use of grammar and punctuation' entirely to my wonderful betas kittylefish and persevero. I think this might be the first piece of writing for which I've ever constructed an outline beforehand. Typically in school I was the type to figure out where the essay was headed and then construct the outline afterwards. I must say the outline has been enormously helpful. Perhaps I'm just not suited for non-fiction or term papers. ;)
Response from pyjamapants (Author of The Witches of Gilford)
Goodness. I'm blushing!I owe the 'excellent use of grammar and punctuation' entirely to my wonderful betas kittylefish and persevero. I think this might be the first piece of writing for which I've ever constructed an outline beforehand. Typically in school I was the type to figure out where the essay was headed and then construct the outline afterwards. I must say the outline has been enormously helpful. Perhaps I'm just not suited for non-fiction or term papers. ;)