It's a Small World After All

Disclaimer: I reap no financial benefits from the use of JK Rowling's characters.

A million, billion thank yous to my fantabulous beta team: kittylefish and Persevero.

Chapter 11 - It's a Small World After All

Hermione Apparated to the front yard of the Burrow, guiltily clutching Dominique Weasley's present to her side. Molly and Arthur looked after both Victoire and Dominique during the hours that Fleur worked at Madame Malkin's. She knew a battery-operated toy would delight both grandfather and granddaughter. When she'd walked into Hamleys, she'd headed straight for the Wall of Gifts One Only Bought for Parents One Wanted to Torture. Honestly, it wasn't until she was standing in front of the dazzling array of obnoxious presents that she'd realized such a gift was likely to drive Molly to distraction. Of course, after the thought of payback had entered her mind, gift searching quickly shifted to a quest to find the present most likely to give Molly migraines. She was certain she'd heard the clerk chuckling at the maniacal gleam in her eye. But Molly had earned it, after all, with her book club gift. However, Hermione thought a bit sheepishly, the 'It's a Small World' Multi-Cultural Pull-Along Toy may have been a bit over the top. The four extra battery packs Severus had encouraged her to buy after she'd owled him afterwards were surely overkill.

She slunk around to the backyard, hoping to find Harry with a minimum of fanfare. Some obnoxious twit, meaning Ginny, had told everyone, meaning Molly, that she was dating Severus Snape and that he, of all people, would be attending the birthday party of a one-year-old. Her arrival without him would be noted by everyone, and she just wasn't in the mood to be gently – or not so gently in George's case – ribbed by everyone about her absent beau.

She clenched her teeth in frustration. Severus was supposed to have joined her at her flat last night. He'd owled her late in the afternoon to say that he was unavoidably detained, most likely until around three this afternoon. He had not written why he'd been delayed, but his spiky handwriting was particularly ferocious. Whatever it was had clearly annoyed him as much as it had her. Damn school. She'd never thought she would find herself cursing her beloved Hogwarts. But lately, instead of 'Charming Alma Mater Which Reminds Me of the Glorious Days of My Childhood (All Trouble With Voldemort Aside)' it was rapidly becoming 'The Annoying Thorn in My Side That Inhibits My Newly Rediscovered Sex Life'.

Oh, it wasn't that Severus was entirely physically unavailable at the end of term. No, he just reverted to the acerbic, scathing professor she recalled from her youth. Actually, it felt considerably worse than how he'd treated her as a student; when she was fifteen, she'd had no expectations that he'd be kind or considerate of her feelings. She had surprised him, hoping for a bit of afternoon delight during one of his free periods three weeks ago, but instead Severus had delivered a blistering speech about how he had far too much to do and if she couldn't keep her hands out of his trousers for one bloody month then perhaps she should satisfy herself elsewhere. She'd emerged from the dungeons slack-jawed and dumbstruck several moments later and considered it an outstanding victory that she'd not burst into tears until she was within sight of the Apparition Point.

Severus had sent five separate owls apologizing for his unfortunate explosion, along with six boxes of Honeydukes' Best, a dozen exotic quills from Scrivenshaft's, three bottles of elf-made wine, and eight vials of homemade bath potions he'd squirrelled away for the first occasion when he would inevitably revert to his caustic self. She sniggered quietly. It was probably quite true what Ron had suggested many a time during their Hogwarts career: Severus very likely had needed a good shag. However, she hadn't been stupid enough to risk their fragile relationship by surprising him again. Instead, she'd indulged quite regularly in her bag of purchases from Coco de Mer, the Muggle shop Ginny had kindly shown her where one could choose from a tasteful and extensive array of products for relieving one's own hormonal needs. It figured that the one Muggle place Ginny had found without Hermione's assistance was a sex shop. Though she still hadn't quite forgiven Ginny for withholding such valuable information for months, if not years.

Severus had been rather sweet, particularly by his standards, since their fight. He had owled her daily without exception, even if the letter only consisted of an extended rant about whatever series of incidents had exasperated him that particular day. His missives frequently had her howling with laughter. Though for all that Severus hated teaching, the tremendous pressure he placed on himself – and by extension his students – to perform well on their O.W.L.s and N.E.W.T.s was rather charming. Pity that despite such dedication he couldn't manage to enjoy the profession.

The combination of his letters, his luxurious bath salts, her assorted adult purchases, and the three extra, though rather lacklustre, projects she'd taken had helped her survive the past three weeks with her sanity intact. She fairly quivered with excitement as she thought about seeing him again today. Honestly, she was shocked when he'd agreed to come and flabbergasted when he hadn't begged off after he'd been kept at Hogwarts. She smiled. It spoke rather well of his affections that he wasn't skipping out on a one-year-old's birthday when he clearly could have made excuses.

Finally, she succeeded in sneaking around the side of the house to find Harry and Bill surveying the damage that a recent storm had caused to one of Molly's beloved apple trees.

"Hello, boys," she called out as she stepped over a downed limb.

"There's no boys here, Hermione. Only big, strapping men!" Harry quipped before scooping her up and embracing her in a bear hug.

"Eeep! Put me down, Harry!" Hermione cried, straightening her skirt after Harry deposited her.

Harry made an exaggerated show of looking around. "Missing someone, aren't you?"

"Severus will be arriving later. He got detained at Hogwarts yesterday," Hermione explained. "What, Bill?" she asked when she noticed the eldest Weasley propped against a tree, shaking his head.

"I just can't believe you managed to get Severus Snape to agree to show up here. Do you have any idea how many times Mum harassed him to come to dinner during the war, or even to stay late for dinner after meetings? You must be doing something very, very well if he's willing to show up here – and for Dominique's party too. And by the looks of that pretty blush spreading across your cheeks, he must be doing something right too." Bill's grin seemed like it might have wrapped around to encompass the back of his head.

"No kidding. Not only is it a Weasley party, but it's his girlfriend's former in-laws. Whatever did you promise him in exchange for his presence today?" Harry wheedled, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"Honestly, I'd begun to wonder if we'd ever see you this happy again. I suppose we'll have to go easy on Severus today if he's what's making you glow from head to toe," Bill proposed.

Hermione was about to ask if she could get that promise in writing when Arthur called Harry and Bill over. She jumped as she felt a pair of hands on her hips.

"Doing something well, am I?" Severus's voice rumbled against her neck.

She whipped around and embraced him, trying not to squeal like a first-year. "Oh, what kept you, Severus?" she cried into his chest.

"A few of my more enterprising seventh-years decided to leave a time-activated surprise. Honestly, I'd have been furious if it wasn't such a clever bit of magic."

"Something worthy of the Weasley twins?"

"Indeed. You can only imagine how happy I'll be to see George. By the way, I've not forgotten your promise to reward me for attending this circus today."

Hermione glanced around to see if anyone was looking their direction. Wrapped up in their own conversations, it seemed no one had even noticed Severus's arrival. Hermione tugged his hand and led him into the nearby garden shed where Arthur kept his random assortment of Muggle devices. She cast a quick set of Locking and Soundproofing Charms on the door before pushing Severus against the work bench. She practically threw herself against the man, crushing her body against his as she clutched his jaw and kissed him hungrily. She'd just flicked her tongue against his lower lip when he pushed her away.

"What are you doing, Hermione?" he asked, panic rising in his voice.

"Delivering your reward, silly."

"Not here!"

She ignored his protests and continued her efforts. "Gods, I've missed you, Severus." Her fingers danced across his chest. "Mmm, thank you," she murmured in between nibbles at his neck, "for forgoing your cloak today. I wouldn't want to wrestle with all that fabric."

"Hermione, stop this!"

"Severus, I cast a full set of wards on the door. We're fine." She fumbled with the placket on his trousers. "I was so very disappointed when you couldn't make it last night. Now stop trying to push me away, or I'll charm your hands to the work table."

Severus made vague noises of dissent before relaxing slightly against the table. "Would you please stop this? We can leave right after the cake is served, and I promise I'll thoroughly ravish you in the comfort and privacy of your own flat."

Hermione chuckled against his neck. "Oh, no, we have to stay through cake and presents, which is why you've earned this special prize just for showing up today," she corrected him affectionately as she withdrew his mildly interested cock, which was hardening despite its owner's protests.

Severus's Adam's apple visibly quavered. "Hermione! It's a bloody shed! I will not have sex next to Arthur's collection of plugs!"

She ran her thumb down the vein that meandered along the underside of his cock and delighted in his audible gasp. "Excellent. I hadn't planned on full sex. I'd rather not risk the splinters," Hermione said, sinking to her knees in front of him until her eyes were level with his cock, which now bobbed at half-mast.

"Bloody hell! I meant for you to reward me later!"

"Oh, there's more for later," she replied with a smirk before slowly flicking her tongue across the head of his cock as she squeezed its base. She looked up into his eyes and smiled before her tongue travelled down to replace her hand. She licked sinuously back up the shaft where she paused to suck and bathe the v-shaped ridge just underneath the head. She watched his eyes flutter shut, breaking their eye contact.

His mouth dropped open, and his ragged breaths rewarded her efforts. He muttered one last protest – a rather unflattering comparison between her tenacity and nifflers – before his hands left the work table to wind their way into her hair. As her hand caressed his balls, he cried, "Please, more!"

She supposed she'd teased him long enough. Besides, if she went missing for too long, then someone would likely investigate her whereabouts. She heeded his pleas and slowly sucked the head into her mouth, laving it with her tongue.

"Good gods, get on with it," he demanded, grasping her hair more firmly.

Taking him completely in her mouth, inch by inch, she laughed at the moan she received in response. She revelled in her temporary power over him. Every action, every technique seemed to elicit a different sound. She was shocked at how vocal Severus was. He moaned and panted and very nearly whimpered at her ministrations.

Severus eventually relaxed into her care, returning his hands to the work bench. She studied his non-verbal encouragement, adapting her technique to elicit the loudest chorus of groans and unintelligible mumbles. Eventually, her jaw began to ache. She shifted backwards and released his cock from her mouth, pumping him slowly with her hand. "Severus," she whispered.

His head snapped forward and his eyes flew open. "What?" he asked with an impatient groan.

She continued caressing him, drawing out her break before she answered him. "I've wondered what you would taste like, what you would look like from this position, for months. Can you believe I waited this long?" She rubbed her thumb underneath the head of his cock.

"No," he cried, thrusting his cock into her hand. "Oh, gods, suck me again, Hermione, please!"

"Only since you asked so politely." She returned to her task, sucking on the head while her hand quickly pumped his shaft. His hips began bucking wildly, and she knew he would not last much longer. She redoubled her efforts and soon found him on the edge of orgasm.

"Oh, gods! I love you!" Severus shouted as he came. His hips slowed, and his ragged breaths calmed.

Hermione's jaw dropped, which was rather awkward given its position and occupation at the time. He loved her? She'd suspected the first tinglings of such emotions herself but had tabled such musings until she could see the man for more than six hours at a time. After all, what good would it have done to resolve that she loved him, only to pine after him for a month while he languished at Hogwarts?

Before she could muster a reply, or even, well, remove Severus's cock so that she could reply, the door to the shed flew open. A small figure limned in sunlight stared at them for a moment before shrieking and running away. Hermione quickly disengaged and tucked Severus back into his trousers. Mortified did not begin to describe the expression upon his face. Still, perhaps they could sneak out of the shed without the entire party learning of their indiscretion.

They stepped out just as Victoire Weasley completed her mad dash across the back lawn and threw herself into her mother's robes, clutching them as if they might shield her from the horror she'd just experienced.

"Maman! Auntie Hermione had her mouth on Mister Snape's willy!" Victoire cried.

"Ah, mon petit chou, I am sure Auntie 'ermione waz, er, just inspecting Monsieur Snape to make sure 'e 'ad bazed properly. It weell be all right, Victoire. 'ave a biscuit," Fleur consoled the distraught girl, scowling at Hermione and Severus.

The entire party, it appeared, had heard Victoire's outburst. Molly and Minerva were gaping open-mouthed at Severus while a contingent of Weasley siblings snorted and sniggered over by the punch bowl. Arthur broke off his conversation with Bill and Harry to grouse about having to Scourgify his workshop – again. She clutched Severus's hand and turned to face him, an ill-formed and wholly inadequate apology tumbling from her mouth. He just stared at her dumbly, teeth clenched, with the artery next to Nagini's bite pulsing visibly. Hermione thanked Merlin that orgasms tended to rob Severus temporarily of his verbal abilities. Otherwise, he'd no doubt be delivering a blistering rebuke for her disastrous adventure.

Bill Weasley hurried over and shoved a pint of ale into Severus's hand. "Sorry about that, mate. Victoire came into her magic a couple of months ago. We've not found a Locking Charm strong enough to withstand her clever little fingers. She's drawn to the damn things too. Disillusioning and Distraction Charms are right out too. The best we can do is set wards that alert us when she's managed to get into something. At this rate, I believe she's destined to be a Curse Breaker before she's passed her O.W.L.s. The little bugger's caught us in the act several times, though never in that particular act. Thank gods. Mummy and Daddy's special hug was hard enough to explain."

Gradually, Severus's colouring returned to normal. "Thank you for the ale, Mr Weasley. I believe it will take several more to make me forget that particular horror. I'm sorry that your daughter had to be subjected to such lewd behaviour," Severus said, glaring at Hermione as if he'd not encouraged her one whit. "I can only hope I've left Hogwarts before that one so much as thinks about the Sorting Hat." Severus paused for a first drink from his ale. "How is Gringotts treating you these days?"

Hermione sighed in relief as Severus slipped into an easy conversation with Bill. Perhaps she should circulate and attempt to exhaust the Weasley brood's vast capacity for teasing and public ridicule before Severus emerged from his conversation.

She felt awful. She'd honestly hoped her impish little adventure would relax Severus so that he could enjoy the afternoon. She'd been rather pleased that she'd found her inner vixen. “Pssh. That plan failed miserably,” Hermione grumbled to herself as she walked over to where George, Angelina, Harry, Charlie, and Ginny stood, red-faced, with grins that could illuminate the night sky over Western Europe. Might as well get the worst of it over with.

"Oi, Hermione. I didn't realize we had another reason to celebrate besides Dominique's birthday," George chirruped happily as she approached.

Perhaps I ought to have let them chortle amongst themselves before I joined them. Ah, well. Where's my Gryffindor courage? Hermione thought. I suspect my Gryffindor courage is hiding in the shed underneath one of Arthur's projects. Hermione sighed inwardly. "What else are we celebrating, George?" Hermione asked, bracing herself for the punch line.

"Why, it seems you've acquired your plumbing license!" George guffawed loudly.

Hermione sighed laboriously. "Very funny, George. Who's next? Go on. Get it out of your system."

Ginny's face turned sombre as she reached her arm around Hermione's shoulders. "Now, now. I'd like to propose a toast to Hermione, here. Hermione, you're a right and honourable witch. You're truly a woman of your word. I always know that when you say something will happen, I can take that statement to Gringotts," Ginny exclaimed to the group, glass raised. They looked at her oddly, wondering when the joke would arrive. "What? Last week, I asked Hermione if she would be bringing Snape, and she replied, 'Yes, Severus will be coming.' How true! To Hermione!"

"To Hermione!" the group chorused before resuming their belly-aching laughter. Hermione couldn't resist a smile at that jab. She glanced over at Severus and found him smirking at her. Ah, good. He realizes I'm taking the full force of their teasing. Perhaps we'll make it through today after all, though I don't doubt this will be the longest afternoon of my life.

"Charlie? Harry? Angelina?"

Harry seized the invitation, grinning like the madman he'd vanquished. "I'd like to make another toast to our Hermione. Hermione, our years at Hogwarts were filled with many significant moments. Moments that seemed inconsequential at the time. Moments that, in retrospect, were turning points for our entire lives. A troll lumbering into a bathroom. A mysterious locket we found while cleaning Grimmauld Place. A term's reading list full of the most ridiculous tripe ever written by witch or wizard alike. Little did we know that on a crisp November morning in our second year at Hogwarts, the battle for Hermione's heart would be fought and won. I'll never forget the day that Gilderoy Lockhart went wand-to-wand with our dear Professor Snape. A battle of two equally billowy wizards, one in resplendent purple, the other in stark black. A battle of flourish against cat-like finesse. And, lastly, a battle of flounce versus stealth." Harry, at last, raised his glass. "Hermione, while I certainly wouldn't have imagined you dating Professor Snape, bane of my Hogwarts existence, I'm sure as hell glad you didn't choose Gilderoy Lockhart. Molly's glad too. She'd have had to cast enlarging spells so the back garden could contain his ego."

The crowd tossed back their drinks again, and Hermione sighed wearily as she heard Ginny filling George and Angelina in on Gilderoy's recent career and dating moves. They guffawed at the end of the tale. Disrupting their laughter, Charlie cleared his throat, his face as grim and unreadable as an ancient tomb. "Hermione, I cannot believe that at your first family event with Ron's replacement you would have the poor manners to give your partner a blow job in Dad's workshop."

The crowd stood agog. Tears welled up in Hermione's eyes. Ron had been the furthest thing from her mind, obviously. Fuck, now I've gone and alienated the entire family. Of all the stupid, selfish things I've ever done, her inner McGonagall droned on. She missed the glimmer in Charlie's eye amidst her self-castigation.

Charlie renewed his dressing down. "Yes, Hermione, everyone knows that the workshop is reserved for full shags only and no sooner than the third family event. Prior to that, all blow jobs, hand jobs, and heavy petting are restricted to the swing by the pond. Goodness, did my little brother teach you nothing of our family traditions?"

The entire group breathed an enormous sigh of relief before bursting into their loudest chorus of laughter yet. Hermione tried to conceal her embarrassment behind her glass of Molly's fruit punch. Perhaps getting all the teasing out of the way at once was overrated.

The crowd abruptly stifled their laughter as a dark shadow approached behind Hermione.

"Is this lot giving you trouble, dear?" Severus asked, drawing himself up to full height.

Reverting to their teenage selves, the majority of the group began an intense study of their footwear before mumbling and shuffling off to other areas of the garden. Only Harry and Hermione remained.

"It's nice to see you've not lost your touch, Professor." Harry grinned.

"How are you faring, Hermione? It was quite foolish to surrender yourself to the mercy of that pack of wolves." Severus quashed the urge to add 'my brave little Gryffindor' to the end of his statement and mentally kicked himself twice for even thinking it.

"I'm fine. They were just taking the piss." Hermione sighed. "And rightfully so," she added.

Severus leaned forward to whisper in her ear, "And you'll be rewarded quite handsomely later for drawing their fire as well as for delivering the warmest, wettest welcome I've ever received." Severus could feel the upward curve of her lips when she turned and kissed him briefly. He congratulated himself for playing the situation to his advantage. Yes, it would be exceptionally nice having a randy, quite skilled, penitent witch on his arm when he left this abomination of a social gathering.

"Thank you," Hermione whispered in reply. "I rather thought you might be angry."

Severus reassured her with a quiet chuckle, glancing to ensure that Potter wasn't listening to their conversation. No, Potter was examining the contents of his punch glass with more scrutiny than he'd ever mustered during a single Potions lesson. Severus returned his attention to Hermione. "I might have been furious, if you'd not just treated me to the finest orgasm I've had in a month."

"Well, thank heavens for that, then." Hermione's shoulders relaxed, and the little wrinkle in her brow vanished.

"Indeed," Severus said with a tight-lipped smile.

Harry cleared his throat, interrupting their private discussion. "So, Professor Snape, it seems as though you and Hermione are getting along well." Harry smirked as he Summoned a pitcher and refilled his glass of Molly's fruit punch.

"Potter, I can do without your cheeky commentary." Severus eyed the pink, frothy concoction with horror akin to what many first-years displayed for his collection of pickled reptile brains.

"Seriously, sir. It's good to see her happy again. I'd have never thought it, but you two appear to be good for one another," Harry replied.

"Thank you, Potter. I can't say I was looking for your approval, but I suppose it's good to know I have it," Severus conceded with only the slightest of grimaces.

"Thank you, Professor. That was almost ... kind."

"Yes, well, it's amazing what a bit of time in Arthur's workshop can do for a man. Oh, look, Hermione, they're about to serve the cake." Severus grabbed Hermione's hand and tugged her across the yard, leaving a petrified Potter in his wake.

"I cannot believe you just said that to Harry!" Hermione laughed as she followed behind him.

"Yes, well, I've already been caught with my hand in the biscuit jar, Hermione. I may as well get some amusement from it. Are we still departing following the cake and presents?"

Hermione nodded while mentally shaking her head in disbelief. All humiliation aside, it seemed her risqué shed adventure had been well worth the trouble. Severus was more relaxed and amiable than she'd seen him, well, ever. They reached the cake just as Bill was hoisting Dominique onto his lap. Molly had clearly outdone herself with the cake. The four-tiered, pink- and purple-iced monolith sat on the table, its enormous candle already aglow. Dominique stared at the candle, entranced by the flame dancing on its wick.

Clearly pleased to have the elusive professor in attendance, Molly gushed, "Severus, we're so glad you could come today."

Several muffled sniggers emanated from the group of red-headed twenty- and thirty-somethings.

Molly looked flustered as she realized the cause of the crowd's amusement. She turned from the cake, her left hand on her hip and her right brandishing a knife. "You lot! Enough with your bawdy jokes, or I'll have Arthur join me in the workshop, without Silencing Charms, and we'll really turn your ears red."

Molly's comment immediately silenced the group and left them with pained expressions as they contemplated her threat. George, in particular, looked as if he'd swallowed an entire box of U-No-Poo.

Satisfied that her brood would behave, Molly raised her wobbly voice and prompted the group to sing "Happy Birthday."

Bill made a show of blowing out the candle, and Dominique squealed with laughter, clapping her hands with glee. She glanced repeatedly from her father to the candle, and her lower lip began to tremble when she realized that the great sport of candle-extinguishing had ended. She glared at the candle determinedly, and the flame sprang to life. Bill glanced nervously at Fleur and blew out the candle again to Dominique's peals of laughter. Shortly afterwards, the flame flickered into existence again. And again. And yet again.

"George, what's the bloody counter spell for this ridiculous candle?" Bill asked, panic creeping into his voice after the candle had reignited for the fifth time.

"Bill, I have no idea. I think it's Mum's."

Molly nodded, her hands twisting her apron into a knotted jumble. Several attempts were made to distract Dominique from her new found talent. Eventually the subject of presents was mentioned, and Dominique toddled off to begin ripping the brightly coloured paper from her teetering stack of gifts. Bill and Fleur were whispering frantically to one another. Molly began hurriedly slicing the cake and serving it to the amused guests.

Severus chuckled in Hermione's ear. "Looks like Locking Charms are the least of Bill's worries. His little tyke is a Pyromancer." After a pause, Severus continued, "I believe I like these birthday parties. It seems the next generation will avenge all their parents' mischief."

"Yes, but imagine having a Pyromancer in your Potions class. Not exactly the safest of circumstances, I would think."

Severus blanched, mentally adding "Talk with Minerva about advertising for a replacement Potions professor" to his list of tasks to be accomplished over the course of the summer. He wasn't aware of any recent graduates or apprentices who would meet his exacting standards. He groaned inwardly; the search might span years.

Having seen the worry cross Severus's brow, Hermione continued teasing, "Just imagine what George and Angelina's spawn will be like, especially after the child is regaled for years with stories of Uncle Fred."

"Now you're just being cruel, Hermione. Do you really want to cope with the nasty mood you're going to cause if you continue this line of teasing?"

Hermione snorted and conceded to his argument. She nudged him towards where Molly was distributing cake.

Molly rushed through her task, shoving plates into their hands while she cast worried glances in Dominique's direction. Dominique had torn through her packages with an enthusiasm suited to her age and had very nearly reached the last of the presents. "Go on," she said, shooing them away. "I've got to get this served before Dominique looks at the cake and sets fire to the candle again."

Severus and Hermione hurried away towards the arbour which marked the entrance to Molly's rose garden. "If she's so concerned, perhaps she ought not to have placed the candle in her brassiere," Severus muttered.

Before Hermione could reply, they were joined by Minerva. Mischief flashed behind her glasses. "So, Severus, did you succeed in sorting out your dungeons?"

"Indeed," Severus said sourly.

"Oh? Severus, you didn't tell me what kept you," Hermione prompted, her head cocked to the side in curious amusement.

"Two ruddy seventh-year Slytherins cast spells that revealed – on the walls of the dungeons – all of the romantic encounters that I missed catching during my patrols. Names. Dates. Locations. Durations. Thankfully, they spared me the more intimate details of the encounters. Thousands of points, I assure you. Thousands."

Hermione nearly dropped her cake on the ground as she laughed. "Let me guess. Not a Slytherin among them."

Severus's mouth twitched. "There were a few, here and there. I suspect the miscreants who cast the spell reckoned that any Slytherin stupid enough to plan their romantic encounters in the Astronomy Tower deserved exposure."

Minerva interjected, "How do you know it was your Slytherins who cast the spell, Severus? Why, I know several Gryffindors and Ravenclaws who would have been capable of such advanced spellwork."

The glare Severus levelled at Minerva looked as if it would slice cauldrons in half. "They left a rather unique and amusing signature. It seems Reginald Emerson and Cyclamen Parkinson were engaged in amorous activities just outside my chamber door on Thursday night. Given Filius's ravings about their seventh-year project on data logging charms, I rather think it's too coincidental. Besides, no Slytherins would be so daring without significant personal benefit."

"How would they expect to benefit from this, Severus? I would think they've rather risked your ire."

"Nonsense, they've given me enough information to ensure that Slytherin wins the cup next year. Plus, they've both been after me for months to write them letters of recommendation. It seems they've earned them with their rather impressive stunt."

"Well, why were you late?" Hermione asked.

"Because the bloody Board of Governors is visiting the school on Monday, and Minerva," he paused to glare at her again before continuing, "insisted that the information be removed post-haste. I had to cast Evanesco one by one on the blasted, buggering things, so I suppose it's just as well I started early. I had just closed up my chambers to leave when the damned messages began popping up. I suspect the blighters keyed their prank to my wards."

"Ah, Severus, you never were one to appreciate a spot of foolish wand waving," Minerva chortled, wiping tears of laughter from her eyes.

"Particularly not when it means I learn far more about the mating habits of Hufflepuffs than I ever wanted to know, including their propensity to copulate in the nook behind the statue of Artemis Pervelicious just outside their common room." Severus shuddered.

At that, the conversation petered out, and the trio put fork to cake. Severus exchanged a meaningful glance with Hermione. She had, after all, promised they could leave after presents and cake. She nodded slightly at the inquisitive quirk of his left eyebrow. Minerva's presence kept his cock from anticipating their departure.

He'd just swallowed the last bite of the sugary confection and was about to make his goodbyes to Minerva when Molly approached.

"Severus, I am so happy to see you here. I can't count the number of times Arthur and I invited you for dinner during the war. I suppose all we needed to do was have Hermione ask you!"

"Yes, Molly, I can assure you that having one of my students invite me for dinner would have been successful," Severus replied sarcastically.

"Apparently, it might have worked if Gilderoy Lockhart had stepped in!" Molly guffawed, her breasts bouncing so enthusiastically that Severus wondered if she might concuss herself.

"What's this, Molly?" Minerva demanded.

"Oh, that book club we sent them to ..." Molly gasped for breath. "It was a romance novel for housewitches even older and frumpier than me, written by Gilderoy Lockhart. He unveiled himself as the author at the last meeting and then asked our Hermione out to dinner."

Severus reflected that, in all his years of teaching at Hogwarts, he thought he knew what it sounded like to hear witches cackle. Clearly, he'd never heard Molly and Minerva together, sides clutched, with a cackle that would terrify the wart off a hag's arse. Minerva tittered so forcefully that her glasses slipped off her nose entirely. A button flew from Molly's blouse and landed in the sticky pool of frosting that remained on his plate.

He glared at them until their laughter dwindled. "You two were in on the whole thing, weren't you?"

"Whatever do you mean, Severus?" Minerva asked, still drunk with laughter.

"You planned on Hermione and I being stuck in that infernal book club together! You set us up!" he accused, his voice laced with venom, as if they'd had him publicly arrested on trumped up charges of goat-related misconduct. He clutched Hermione's hand in solidarity. Whenever the topic had come up, Hermione had always turned the most enchanting shade of purple – not all that dissimilar to the colour of a Stomach Settling Potion just before it began to boil – and began mumbling an equally colourful tirade about her former mother-in-law's meddlesome nature.

The two witches clung to one another in a renewed gale of laughter. With the missing button, Molly was on the verge of wobbling out of her blouse. Severus kept his eyes trained entirely on the freckle just to the left of her nose. Hermione seemed to have her gaze directly centred on her shoes.

Molly wiped tears from her eyes as she struggled to speak. "No, Se-heh-verus, neither of us had any idea about the other's gift until mid-March or so. That we didn't conspire against you makes it even more hilarious!" Glancing at her red-faced, breathless non-co-conspirator, Molly succumbed to laughter again.

In the face of such blatant ridicule, Severus tossed aside any remaining consideration for social niceties and informed Hermione, "Presents have been opened. We have eaten cake. I believe it's time for us to leave."

Hermione barely had time to utter a muffled goodbye and wave to Harry before Severus had whisked her to the edge of the wards so they could Disapparate.

They reappeared outside her flat, Severus swearing under his breath, and Hermione hurriedly began disassembling her wards. This wasn't entirely the homecoming she'd envisioned. Frenzied hallway frottage had been more the arrival she'd had in mind. Wards down, she ushered Severus into the flat.

He wilted against the door frame. "That was bloody awful. Thank gods, I don't have to see Minerva for two weeks." He slumped further down the door frame. "She will be positively insufferable until this blows over. Merlin, and without a flock of students to distract her too."

"Can I get you a drink?" Hermione asked, wondering if perhaps a dose of Skele-Gro might be in order.

"No," Severus answered, shaking his head wearily. "Just give me a few moments to imagine the unspeakable horror that awaits me. It shouldn't be much worse than facing Voldemort," he said with a tired, lop-sided smirk.

"All right, I'll be back in a moment then," Hermione said before venturing down the hallway to her bathroom.

He called out to her retreating backside, "We shall address the other manner in which I was publicly embarrassed when you come back."

Hermione wondered if it was possible to cast a Cheering Charm strong enough – and inconspicuous enough – to travel from the loo to the living room.

When she returned, Severus was propped against her living room window, perusing a book on preventative medical charms. He paused his examination, eyebrow raised. "You, witch, have quite a bit to answer for."

"Why? No one teased you at all. I drew everyone's fire."

"Still, you certainly owe me. Straight from dunderheads to ... I don't even know what to call them." Severus pinched his nose between his forefingers. "'Mister Snape's willy' is not a phrase I ever want to suffer again. I believe that may have been even more embarrassing than anything the Marauders ever dreamed of doing. That little brat must be Sirius reincarnated."

"Severus!"

"How did the little bugger even know my name?" Severus wondered aloud.

Hermione sighed. "I had dinner with Bill and Fleur two weeks ago, and she overhead us talking about you. Gods, pictures were trotted out and everything. Bill has the most unflattering photo of you skulking around one of Albus's birthday parties."

Severus scowled. "Yes, that would probably be the last birthday party I attended prior to this one. I'd just made that unholy agreement to end Albus's life the following year. Bastard forced me to attend that damn party, claiming my absence would be suspicious, especially if word got back to Voldemort that I'd not attended."

Hermione swallowed a small amount of bile and resisted the overwhelming urge to gather him into her arms. "Oh, gods. What a sadistic arsehole!"

"Yes, there's nothing quite so enjoyable as toasting the health and long life of someone you've promised to murder," Severus commented, sarcasm dripping from his every word. "Enjoyable as this is, I would much prefer it if we could change the subject of our conversation to something more pleasant. Despite the trials of the last twenty-four hours, I find I'm feeling rather frisky at the moment. Now, perhaps you might explain what inspired you to accost me in such a public place."

She stammered, half-words fumbling over themselves as she scrambled to adjust to the abrupt change in conversation. She'd nearly cobbled together a reply when Severus interrupted her efforts.

"Wait, did you hear that?"

"Hear what?" she asked confusedly.

Severus shushed her. "Shhhhh. There it is again."

Hermione listened quietly for several minutes. She heard no discernible sounds. Even the noisy hum of the refrigerator wasn't audible from where they stood. She raised her eyebrows questioningly at Severus and shook her head. If he's hearing noises, perhaps the end of term damaged him more than I suspected, Hermione thought.

"That is the sound of uninterrupted, private space. No toddlers, no interfering old biddies, no dunderheads, no red-headed menaces."

A shiver raced down Hermione's spine to her toes and scurried back up to dissipate around her nipples. "Yes, we are alone, aren't we?" She plucked the book from Severus's grasp and turned around to place it on the shelf.

Severus's arms caged her against the shelf, and he nipped at the nape of her neck. "Taunting me at that damned book club ... sucking me off in the shed ... you're quite the exhibitionist, aren't you?"

Hermione squirmed in his arms. "No more so than you are a giant tease."

Severus's chuckle reverberated throughout her body. His hands slowly inched her skirt up until it was rucked around her hips.

He dragged his thumb across the front of her knickers and gulped at his discovery. "Hmm, just talking about it has got you excited again. You were very, very excited when you had me in your mouth, weren't you?"

Hermione whimpered and rubbed against him.

"You've been turned on since last night, I'd wager." His hands brushed the sides of her breasts, leaving her knickers strangely exposed. "Poor Hermione, all alone, with no one to play with her. Did you touch yourself? Hmm? Did you play with one of those new toys you taunted me with in your letters?"

Unable to speak, Hermione shook her head vigorously.

"Goodness. So wound up, and how very generous of you to tend to me in the shed."

At the word 'shed', Hermione was plucked from her lusty haze. "Severus, is it true? You love me?"

After an exasperated sigh, Severus released his tenuous hold on her breasts and turned her around to face him. "I can't say I appreciate your sense of timing at the moment, but of course I love you. I'd have never said it if I didn't mean it." His intense stare met her sparkling gaze. She hung on every word as he continued, "I'll admit I didn't intend to say it quite so soon. However, your methods of torture seem quite effective at extracting the truth." Severus swallowed. "Hermione, the last month without seeing you has been horrible. I was quite afraid I'd lost you when I verbally assaulted you at Hogwarts. I couldn't have borne it if my outburst had driven you away."

"I might have gathered as much from your five apologies and copious gifts," Hermione replied with a small grin, her hand brushing his cheek. "I'm afraid you won't be rid of me so easily."

"And why is that?" Severus asked, the slight waver in his voice betraying not a small amount of trepidation.

Her smile glittered as her hands ran through his hair, root to tip. "Because I love you too, Severus."

She heard a sharp inhalation, and then his mouth was upon hers. His lips plucked hungrily at hers, his tongue desperate to taste her. For several moments they stood, snogging like sixth-years in the springtime, basking in one another's affection. Their need, their hunger seemed to grow exponentially.

Before, when either of them had initiated sex, there had been extensive teasing – a prelude, a build-up. However, it seemed Severus had no patience for such games during this encounter. Within the span of a few minutes, amidst a flurry of sloppy kisses, he had disrobed the both of them, manoeuvred them from the sitting room to the bedroom, laid her on the bed, and, now, had positioned himself between her thighs. "Need you," he mumbled, his hand fumbling rather clumsily at her entrance.

Thankfully, she was ready for his advances – had been ready for nearly twenty-four hours. She supposed she had been tormented and taunted this time. Rather cruelly, in fact. Damn school. She whined as he removed his hand, stopping when she felt his cock stabbing blindly between her thighs. She reached down to aid it towards its target.

"Oh, gods, I've missed you," Severus groaned as he fully seated himself inside her.

Thus began the clumsiest, most awkward coupling she'd ever been party to. Noses bumped whenever they kissed. Her hips lunged jerkily forwards when they should have retreated. His hand nearly crushed her breast when he tried to fondle her, placing too much weight on her as he miscalculated the mechanics of his position. They were frantic and hurried and seemingly entirely unpractised at the task. "Yes, there," Hermione would groan, only to have Severus immediately shift his attentions elsewhere. It might have been a complete failure but for the steady chorus of endearments that arced between them.

Desperate to find the most satisfactory position, Hermione hooked her ankles over Severus's shoulders, and they both moaned at the new contact between them. He clutched her thighs, and soon, too soon, his thrusts quickened. Before she could protest or suggest a change in positions, Severus was thrusting wildly, groaning, and, evidently, coming. He lingered for a moment, panting, before he lay down next to her.

Her gaze flickered wildly across the ceiling. He was done? Finished? Flopped onto his back, looking as drained as a spent tube of toothpaste? She was taut. Wound-up. Tormented. She needed to come. Soon. Her brain flitted through all the words it knew, searching for some combination she could string together that would return Severus to the task at hand without impugning his manhood. Tears clung to the edges of her lashes as she fought her disappointment and aching need.

The bed shifted slightly, and Hermione closed her eyes, waiting to hear the sound of rummaging from the bathroom or kitchen.

She jumped as she felt Severus lazily suck her nipple into his mouth. Then his hand meandered down her stomach, over her hips, and across her mons. His blessedly long fingers – seemingly having recovered from their earlier bout of ineptitude – ghosted over her entrance before dipping inside.

"Yes! Please!" she cried. Her body wiggled down the mattress, trying to force Severus's fingers deeper.

He chuckled against her breast as his clever fingers continued their explorations. "Gods, you're even tighter now. You are ready to come, aren't you?"

She squirmed. "Yesssss, Severus, I need to come. Please!"

"Mmm, I can't wait to feel you clenching around my fingers." His lips began to tease her other nipple, and he looked at her confusedly when she pushed him away.

"Please keep talking," she begged, bringing her hands up to clutch at her distended nipples.

His voice rumbled as he shifted down to encamp himself between her legs. "You look so gorgeous, spread out in front of me. I've never had such a pretty treat waiting for me at the end of term." He paused to press a kiss to the inside of her thigh.

She froze in anticipation. Oh, gods, he was perfectly positioned for – oh, Merlin, yes! She keened when she felt his tongue flutter across her clitoris.

Every other word punctuated by another swipe of his tongue and thrust of his fingers, Severus continued speaking, "I am ... very much ... looking forward ... to spending ... much ... much ... more time ... with you ... this summer." Cruelly, he abandoned his pursuit and rested his cheek against her thigh. "Yes, just imagine how well we'll know one another by the end of my holiday. How much entertainment we'll have found between your sheets."

Severus's fingers, which had occasionally brushed across her g-spot, now firmly pressed against it. Impossibly, her body tensed even further. Gods, it was like her orgasm was hovering just out of reach, dangling in front of her, waiting for her to grab it. Oh, perhaps it was as simple as reaching out to seize it. Removing her left hand from her breast, she grasped Severus's head and forcefully returned his mouth to its previous occupation. Severus took direction splendidly and promptly sucked her clitoris into his mouth, his tongue rasping hard across it.

"Yes, unnngh, more," she pleaded before finally, finally, tumbling over the edge.

Severus licked and sucked and pressed until he'd wrung the very last of her orgasm from her exhausted body.

Adrift on sensation, she was surprised to see it was still light outside when she opened her eyes. She lay there, catching her breath, as her mind, and pulse, continued to race. The bed shifted again, and Severus flopped, exhausted, next to her. "That was fantastic," she murmured breathily, rolling over to curl against Severus's belly. "How long is your holiday? How long will you be here?"

"How long would you like me to stay?" Severus asked, nuzzling her neck.

"Careful how you phrase that. I might respond with something rather more long term than you're looking for." Hermione rearranged her hair to allow Severus unrestricted access to her neck.

"Alas, I have only six weeks to give," Severus said with an undercurrent of remorse.

Confused, Hermione blurted, "Six weeks? I thought you only had two weeks? What about your experiments? Don't you have experiments to run this summer?" She swore she could feel Severus's smirk against the back of her neck.

"Well, in two weeks, I have students coming back for the summer to assist me."

Hermione shifted, sat upright, and stared at him open-mouthed. "You, Severus Snape, have students coming back for the summer?"

"Yes, I do. A Ravenclaw and a Gryffindor even."

"You have ... You've never done that before."

"Quite true," Severus said smugly, a grin threatening to break out across his face.

"What brought about this change?" She continued staring at him in disbelief.

Severus's fingers reached up and lazily traced patterns around her nipple. "Sometime during the spring, I began to suspect I might not want to spend every moment of my summer in the dungeons, but all my grant applications had already been submitted and approved."

"But you're the one professor who never accepted student applications for summer work. I'd nearly wondered if it was written somewhere in the school by-laws. And yet, you took on students for the summer because of me?"

"Indeed."

"Well, that's a declaration of love if I ever heard one." A blush and a delighted smile crept across Hermione's features.

"Mmm hmmm." His hand dropped to her hip where he continued his artistry. "So, will you be busy with projects this summer?"

"I believe I might be able to find some time to spend with you. I tried to leave some room in my schedule on the off chance I could assist you and speed things along."

Severus snorted. "I believe I might explode more cauldrons than Neville Longbottom if you were in the room while I was brewing something complicated. Although, if we keep this up, I may need to take on additional assistants," Severus groused, rubbing his wrist. "Either that, or I'll have to learn how to brew right-handed."

"Smart-arse. You can brew a potion for your precious wrist in my kitchen this evening."

"Good, now hush up. You've entirely worn me out, and I believe I've earned a nap." Severus pulled up the sheets and coverlet, flicked his wand towards the windows, which shuttered obediently, and kissed Hermione soundly before clutching her against him and falling asleep.

A/N: Just one more chapter to go! Thanks for sticking with me despite my pokey posting schedule!