Firewhisky and Cider

Disclaimer: As you're no doubt certain, I've no claim to the Harry Potter universe nor am I profiting financially from writing this story.

Effusive thanks to my betas kittylefish (comma and plot Goddess) and lettybird (Brit-picker extraordinaire). This story would surely fall flat on its face without either or both of you.

Chapter Three - Firewhisky and Cider

Severus groaned aloud when he awoke Wednesday morning with a hangover that defied description. He clumsily clambered out of bed and into the dressing gown and slippers that hung at his bedside. Stumbling to his personal storeroom, he swore upon seeing that his supply of Hangover Potion had dwindled to roughly a quarter of the dose he required. Wincing as the door slammed behind him, Severus made his way to his lab to brew the elixir that would return his higher cognitive abilities. He wondered as he prepared the ingredients, How long has it been since I consumed enough alcohol to warrant a hangover? And what on earth was so bad that it merited the cave troll currently parading across both hemispheres of my frontal lobe?

Taking the cauldron off the fire so the potion could cool prior to bottling, Severus tried not to inhale the nausea-inducing fumes. Once it cooled, Severus quickly downed the foul-tasting brew and sighed appreciatively as the last tendrils of his pounding headache began to dissipate. Walking back through his quarters to the bathroom for his morning shower, Severus spied The Witches of Gilford lying on the side table next to his armchair. Memories of the previous evening rushed back with astounding clarity. The meeting itself had been rather tolerable thanks to the assistance of Mr Odgen's famous brew, but Severus swore viciously upon recalling that he'd invited Ms Granger to join him at the Leaky Cauldron the following week. What had possessed him to schedule a drinking session with his former student?

Severus walked to his desk and pulled out a scrap of parchment. Surely he could come up with a plausible reason to cancel the meeting, couldn't he? Quill poised to dash off a brief note, Severus paused as he recalled how circumstances had led him to this situation. It all led back to Minerva McGonagall. Severus's newly mended head landed on his desk with a loud thunk as he abandoned hope of cancelling the appointment. Following a barb he had made about the Golden Trio during last week’s staff meeting, Minerva had been fiercely protective of all three Gryffindors. In particular, she had chastised him for lambasting the now-deceased Ronald Weasley and his widow, Hermione Granger. How had it escaped his notice that the youngest Weasley male had died? Groaning, Severus recalled that Minerva possessed ears seemingly even keener than Albus's and would somehow find out that he'd drunkenly invited Hermione Granger out for a drink and then rescinded once he’d come to his senses. “No”, he concluded, “it would be better to face forty-five minutes of Ms Granger's company than to endure months of Minerva's ire.”

Severus stood from his desk and ambled into his bedroom to commence his morning routine as he considered the Widow Weasley.  She did seem marginally less annoying than she had been as a student. He supposed this wasn’t that surprising. Being an active combatant in a war, leaving school, and losing a spouse all tended to mature a witch or wizard. He had very nearly been impressed when she boldly teased him upon greeting him at the first meeting and had been shocked when she stood up to his admittedly undeserved verbal attack. But what the hell would they talk about for the forty-five minutes prior to the meeting? Was he to be regaled with stories of the Boy Who Lived Twice and the Weasley clan, which had grown exponentially, as expected? Would she pester him for details about his post-war activities? Or, even worse, would she dredge up the details of his near-death encounter with Nagini and subsequent rescue at her hands? He would have to think of his own topics of discussion that could sustain conversation throughout the meeting unless he wished to be held hostage by the rambling know-it-all. Grumbling, Severus reflected that this was why he never went out in public: he would rather drink potions made from his own toenails than make small talk with anyone.

Hermione reluctantly prepared to leave for the Leaky Cauldron to meet Severus prior to suffering another club meeting. She fully regretted having been so stunned by Severus Snape's behaviour that she had accepted his invitation to meet before the book club meeting. She had expected that the drunken Snape had lamented his impulsive invitation as much as she regretted accepting it. Frankly, she was surprised that she hadn't received an owl cancelling the appointment with her loathsome former professor. Still, she considered, he had been pleasant enough after knocking back his Ogden's the previous week.

Looking at the clock above her mantel, Hermione realized that she'd better get moving else she risked being late and earning Snape's wrath. It had been years since she had last visited it, but the Leaky Cauldron had always been a drafty, dingy old pub. Hermione grabbed her scarf, gloves, and cloak, casting warming charms on each before she Apparated.

Shaking off the nauseating sensation she always felt following Apparition, Hermione gaped open-mouthed at the pub. It looked as if the post-war remodelling fever had extended to the Leaky Cauldron as well. She could practically see her reflection in the pine bar. The benches and stools no longer looked as if they’d been salvaged from a 16th century pig farm. The lighting had improved, too. It wasn't bright enough to read, but it was light enough to illuminate the once-shady corners. Severus Snape was settled into a booth in one of these once-shady corners, and Hermione walked over to meet him.

“I've not been here in years. I had no idea they'd done up the place,” Hermione said as she sat down.

Severus nodded and said, “Indeed. They've even added to the menu. I make it a point to stop by when I'm in town to purchase ingredients.”

They were interrupted by Tom, still publican after all these years, as he delivered Severus's Firewhisky and inquired after Hermione's order.

Hermione launched the first question of the evening, asking, "So, how is it, exactly, that the fearsome Severus Snape let Minerva wheedle him into attending that first meeting?"

Severus grumbled, "She said some nonsense about not holing myself up in the dungeons."

Tom returned with the drinks as Severus determined that perhaps it would be best to send questions Hermione's direction so that he could avoid her irritating inquisition. "So how are you occupying your time these days, Ms Granger?" he asked.

"I'm a Charms and Arithmancy consultant," Hermione stated as she took a long pull from the excellent pear cider Tom had placed in front of her.

"And what sort of clients do you find yourself working with?"

"Occasionally, I have a project with the Ministry, but most often I work for a variety of private firms. There's quite a bit of research and development going on in the wizarding world these days, and often product developers will either require an extra wand to meet short-term goals or will have a specific aspect of a project to contract out if they lack their own Charms or Arithmancy department."

He'd often considered leaving Hogwarts for the life of a private researcher but had been stymied by the pitfalls he had perceived in that plan. “Isn't it a pain in the arse marketing yourself to firms? Don't you constantly have to make new contacts and find work? And I can't imagine that you get to pursue the cutting-edge projects? Aren't you relegated to the grunt tasks that no one wants internally? What on earth could make all that worth the trouble?” Severus asked in rapid succession with an odd expression that made him appear as if he’d just swallowed a lemon.

Taken aback by the sudden return of his typical abrupt manner, Hermione stood slightly from her seat and leaned across the table to return fire at Snape. “Severus Snape, I do not recall you queuing up to offer career advice during my seventh year, so you may kindly piss off if you take offence at the path I've chosen.”

“Simmer down, Ms Granger. I truly did not mean to put you on the defensive. The work arrangement you've described is something I've considered pursuing on occasion, and I'm quite interested in obtaining a more nuanced understanding of the benefits of such a situation.”

Her anger somewhat deflated, Hermione settled back into her seat and took another long drink from her cider glass. Her interest piqued, she launched into her explanation with her typical nervous chatter. “Really?” she said with some degree of lingering disbelief, “Well, it began when I was at a bit of a loss as to what career I wanted to pursue after my NEWTS. I finally managed to narrow my interests to Charms and Arithmancy, but I still couldn't find any appealing careers that integrated the two. Then, at a family reunion, I spoke with a cousin who works as a Muggle programming consultant. We talked about some of the pros and cons of consulting, and he encouraged me to pursue my varied interests. When I left university and was ready to start working, he helped me avoid some of the mistakes and difficulties that he had encountered. But his biggest help was advising me to focus on developing my short-term and long-term goals. See, without a clear idea of the kind of projects you want one year out, two years out, and five years out, you'll accept anything that comes along. It's perfectly natural that every once in a while you take a project that doesn't meet with your goals just to meet your short-term goals like establishing your name or paying the rent. But without those long-term goals, those are the only projects you take. There's always easy grunt work to be had, and you can quickly stop being challenged intellectually.”

Severus considered this discussion of goals. He'd always assumed that if he left Hogwarts, he'd be stuck brewing endless batches of Pepperup and Potency Potions. It had, rather stupidly, never occurred to him that he might have his choice of projects. Leaning forward, Severus listened more attentively to Ms Granger's rambling, though helpful, commentary.

Barely pausing to breathe, Hermione continued, "Really, one of the beauties of consulting is the peaks and valleys. There's usually downtime between projects or a lull as a project builds up speed. I use that time to work on my own private research. In turn, once I've invested enough initial research, I can usually write a proposal to get my work funded and see it to completion. When that cycle is complete, I'm usually ready for a period of doing grunt work on someone else's project. It helps me recharge.” Hermione gulped the last of her drink. She was concerned that she was boring the pants off Severus Snape, having noticed his empty stare moments earlier. She cursed her tendency to chatter endlessly when she was nervous. Catching Tom's eye, she signalled for another round.

Now that Hermione had finally paused to breathe, Severus chimed in, “Is it difficult to establish oneself as a consultant?”

Hermione and Severus eagerly took their drinks from Tom as Hermione considered his question. “There's some up-front work to get yourself established, but it's really just a matter of winning your first two or three projects. Once you've started proving that you can deliver quality work by deadline, it's relatively easy to pick up additional projects.” Seeing Severus's sceptical look, Hermione continued, “The wizarding world really is rather incestuous.”

Severus sputtered as he nearly choked on his Firewhisky, so Hermione quickly responded, “I didn't mean it THAT way. I meant that everyone knows each other. Everyone went to the same schools, studied under the same professors, and worked for the same bosses. When there are only three to six companies in an industry, there just aren’t that many opportunities. If someone has enough experience to advance and there's not an opening in their current company, then they leave for one of the others. Anyway, as a consultant, once you've made a name for yourself at a couple of firms, it's only a matter of time before word gets around or employees from the first company move to another.”

“I had no idea that employees were so fickle,” Severus stated.

Hermione interjected, “It's not a matter of fickleness. It's a matter of practicality and timing.”

“So how was it that you got your start in the business?”

“Actually, Malfoy Enterprises was one of my first clients,” Hermione said, bemused as Severus's eyes widened at her revelation. “I'm not sure who was more eager for us to partner on projects. In trying to rebuild their company, they were eager to claim the credibility that an association with a famous Muggle-born war hero would engender. I knew that I would get easy networking out of the deal. It was guaranteed press coverage, and I knew that if I could successfully demonstrate that I could be a valuable contributing member of the shrewd teams for which Lucius Malfoy is legendary, then it would recommend me well to other firms.”

Severus eyed Hermione appreciatively. He would have expected the Gryffindor witch to run shrieking from an association with the Malfoys, particularly after that nasty business at the Manor with Bellatrix. That she was willing to put aside their horrific past encounters to further her career showed an ambition he traditionally expected out of his own house. “That was a rather risky strategy of yours, Ms Granger. Has it paid off?”

“Actually, it was Ron's idea that I try to get work for a high-profile client, though he didn't exactly have the Malfoys in mind," Hermione said as she reminisced with a smile. Ron had been furious when Hermione had approached the Malfoys, and he'd spent three nights on the sofa after voicing his fury rather impolitely. After seeing that his advice had indeed borne fruit, no matter how poorly he'd thought the seeds were sown, Ron had apologized and tried to earn his way back into Hermione’s good graces by purchasing her the wizarding brief case that she carried to this day.

“The risk paid off handsomely, though. There were several clients early on who confided that they'd contracted with me on the strength of my work with Malfoy Enterprises.”

“And you still have time to pursue your own research, you say?” Severus inquired.

Hermione nodded and said, somewhat hesitantly, "I just delivered some pet project work for the Ministry taken from my own research.”

“And what was the topic of this research?” Severus inquired.

Hermione took a deep breath and began, "Generally speaking, the project covered Apparition.” Hermione paused to verify that he actually was engaged in her discourse. Accustomed to inquiries about her work from only slightly interested parties, Hermione had developed both the long and short explanation. Seeing that Severus truly looked interested, she launched the long version. “When people Apparate, they typically think of a specific location but not one so specific that they risk interfering with other individuals. Let's say we were both to Apparate to the same location. It's extremely unlikely that you and I would envision precisely the same location since we have different perspectives. And even if we did envision the same place, our inherent magic can sense and make adjustments, so long as our concentration is not so great that we have pinpointed an exact location in our minds."

Severus asked, verifying that his understanding was correct, "So if we both chose to Apparate right now to the front door of Flourish and Blotts, even if we envisioned it the same way, one of us would land slightly to the left and the other slightly to the right.” Seeing Hermione nod, he continued, “Why is that? How does the magic accomplish this?"

"No one is entirely certain, but I think that our magic behaves similarly to other physiological functions, like breathing. Just as one cannot die by holding one's breath, people can rarely kill themselves with their own magic. It is very difficult to perform magic that directly conflicts with the will to live. I think that's one of the reasons why wizarding suicide rates are so low compared with the Muggle population. One’s own magic won't act against a wizard's own instinct to survive, and most wizards just wouldn't contemplate the manual means that Muggles use.”

"So you’ve managed somehow to improve Apparition in your work for the Ministry?"

"Well, I’ve not improved Apparition itself,” Hermione said, pausing as she nervously took another drink of ale. “When it stages a raid, the Auror Department often instructs its team to Apparate to specific coordinates to ensure that all the Aurors arrive at their precise locations. In a practice raid two years ago, a junior Auror reversed the digits in his own coordinates, causing him to Apparate to the same precise location as one of his colleagues." Hermione swallowed as she paused in her explanation, visibly having difficulty continuing. Were those tears glistening in her eyes? Severus cocked his head quizzically at Hermione's difficulty.

"Sorry," Hermione continued, quickly wiping a tear away, "Ron was the second Auror. St. Mungo's said they'd never seen a worse Apparition accident. They didn’t even have a term for it because it technically couldn’t be called splinching. Unfortunately, they couldn't do anything to save either one."

Severus grimaced at the grizzly situation. "Good Gods, that's awful! Minerva mentioned that Ron had died in a training incident, but she never mentioned how gruesome or senseless it had been."

"Yes," Hermione said as she sniffled rather noticeably. "Oh, I'm sorry. I really shouldn't have had that second cider. I'd never have told that story otherwise."

After years of conditioning by the Marauders, Severus usually instinctively fled or lashed out at the slightest sign that either he or anyone else was about to shed tears, so he was shocked to realize that he was instead offering a handkerchief to Hermione and, indeed, was even encouraging further discussion.

“How does this relate to the pet project work you mentioned?” Severus asked, trying to steer the conversation back into less emotional waters.

“Well, I created spelled parchment that makes planning group Apparitions much easier and safer. I’m quite proud of it, actually,” Hermione said, nearly glowing as she described her work. “The Auror planning the raid defines various parameters: perimeters, time of day, the coordinates for objects likely to give cover, and statistics about the Auror team itself. After the information is written, a map appears on the back of the parchment detailing the precise locations for Apparition. Arithmancy formulas ensure that no coordinates are likely to be reversed. Plus, once the parchment holder is close enough to the site, the parchment shows the individuals’ positions, rather like Harry’s old Hogwarts map.”

By the time Hermione wrapped up her explanation, the nagging sensation of the Compulsion Charms had started to gnaw at them. Glancing at her watch, Hermione exclaimed, “Shit, it's ten to seven. I suppose we'd better head to the bookshop.”

Severus was astounded that thirty-five minutes had passed so quickly. This was the longest conversation he'd had with a single individual since The Boy Who Lived Twice had besieged him at his bedside in St. Mungo's, and that conversation had been rather one-sided since Severus could barely speak at the time. Granted, Hermione had done most of the talking during this exchange, but it was always in response to his questions: questions that he had asked with genuine interest. Not only that, but he was really fucking impressed with that bit of spell work she’d created. Despite all his intentions to the contrary, he’d actually enjoyed their evening together. Hoping that it was just the Firewhisky that was making the world seem so off-kilter, Severus stood and pulled his cloak on with rather more force than was necessary.

Pleasantly tipsy, Hermione and Severus ambled to Flourish and Blotts. Preferring conversation to awkward silence following her rather embarrassing outburst, Hermione asked, “So, how did you manage this week's reading?”

“Well, I've always tried to read academic texts in their native language rather than relying on Translation Charms. There are so many nuances in language that a charm isn't wholly reliable for Potions texts,” Severus said as Hermione nodded in agreement. “I'm planning to purchase some Russian texts for my summer research so I've been learning Russian in my spare time. I translated The Witches of Gilford for practice.”

“Oh, that's brilliant! I've been meaning to brush up on my German, so perhaps I'll try that, too. Alas, my coping mechanism wasn't so scholarly. I pushed my luck with the Compulsion Charms to see if they would force me to concentrate on the reading. I was at my parent's house for Sunday dinner and skimmed both chapters while we watched the telly after dinner.”

“Did the charms allow this?” Severus asked as he opened the door to Flourish and Blotts for Hermione without quite noticing that he was being chivalrous.

“They certainly did. I'm happy to say that I barely recall the book, but I'm completely caught up on Eastenders,” Hermione said with a self-satisfied smile.

Severus and Hermione settled into their now-customary seats at the back of the room. Shortly afterwards, Eustace Abbott and Flora Merriweather stood at the front of the room and proudly declared that this week they would be discussing the rich and entertaining characters encountered thus far in The Witches of Gilford. Upon hearing the topic, Severus and Hermione shared a brief, conspiratorial look intimating their opinions of the rich and entertaining characters. The week's meeting thus commenced and looked as if it would progress in much the same inane fashion as the previous one, though without the introductions and mandatory comments. Severus and Hermione quickly settled into an easy and amusing running commentary.

After Martha Higgensbottom mentioned how thrilled she was that her Witches of Gilford cookbook included the recipe mentioned in chapter five, Hermione blurted, "I swear, if that woman mentions Nigel Reese's kitchen prowess one more time, next week I'm going to bring stale bread to lob at her head."

The highlight occurred just a few moments before the meeting ended. Hermione began giggling uncontrollably when Eunice Greengrass described Nigel as an 'extremely handsome wizard that she'd love to get to know more personally'. Severus shuddered when witches around the room began to cackle loudly and echo their agreement with Greengrass's comment.

Severus leaned his head closer to Hermione and quietly said, “Here's my contribution for the week: Nigel Reese is an overdressed, big-headed nincompoop who thinks he is Merlin's gift to Gilford simply because he can perform spells that any competent witch or wizard ought to be able to cast in their sleep.”

Hermione snorted indelicately and quickly tried to disguise it as a cough when the witch in front of her turned to cast a scathing look. Despite her continued lack of composure, Hermione reflected that perhaps she was happy that she'd had that second pint. It was much less unnerving to trade witty banter with Severus under the cider's happy glow.

As the meeting drew to a close, Hermione boldly commented that it had indeed been more entertaining under the influence and asked Severus if he might want to continue the tradition the following week. It was best she'd left the invitation until after the meeting. After their conversation at the Leaky, Severus had feared Hermione to be a sad drunk, which was not to be borne. Fortunately, she'd perked up during the meeting and had proved her worth as an amusing ally in the battle to survive Nigel Reese and his adoring fans. Much to Hermione's surprise, Severus agreed to the invitation as they wrapped themselves in their cloaks and went their separate ways.

Author's note: Not as witty a chapter, I'm afraid. Our characters are beginning to work through their demons. Nasty stuff indeed.

Oh, and lest anyone read my author profile and become suspicious of similarities, I do freelance work, but it's glorified data entry. It's not a bit as interesting as Hermione's work.