Trendy Mini-Pastries

Disclaimer: As you're no doubt certain, I've no claim to the Harry Potter universe nor am I profiting financially from writing this story.

A million thanks to kittylefish and Persevero for their beta and Brit-picking services. And also, thanks to everyone who has reviewed. They do help the muse return when she's wandered off leaving me to stumble over every sentence.

Chapter Six - Trendy Mini-Pastries

Ginny Weasley stared in utter disbelief at the sight that met her when she stepped out of Hermione's Floo. Her dear friend, Hermione Granger, was curled up on her couch in the arms of, holy fuck, Severus Snape! She'd known that the two were becoming friends. Hell, sometimes she couldn't get Hermione to stop prattling on about the man. She had wondered just last week if Hermione had begun harbouring a bit of a crush on him, but she had cast the notion aside. It was, after all, Severus Snape, greasy git of the dungeons and spoiler of adolescent romances for over thirty years. She'd certainly never considered the man's sexuality before and frankly found herself a bit queasy just at the thought that he might have designs on her beloved friend.

Ginny was now faced with a bit of a dilemma. Should she gather photographic evidence? Should she Floo to the Burrow and suggest that her mum poke her head through the Floo, ensuring complete mortification for all parties? Should she quietly leave and later pretend that she'd overslept for her girls' day with Hermione? Should she leave and return to knock on the door? No doubt Hermione would figure out later what Ginny had seen, but it would save them the initial embarrassment.

As she stood musing over what to do, Ginny couldn't help but recall one of the last times she'd seen Professor Snape. Years ago, he'd caught her and Dean Thomas in a rather revealing (but extremely satisfying!) position in what was supposed to be a secluded alcove on the fourth floor. He'd embarrassed her so thoroughly that she'd been unable to look Dean in the eyes for days. He certainly took no care for my feelings at the time, Ginny thought with an evil grin, having made up her mind as to her course of action. I'll make it up to Hermione later because it's definitely the professor's turn for public humiliation. Before launching her attack, she verified the state of things. Ah, good. It did look like they were both fully clothed, so there was no danger of any permanent mental scarring from seeing her former professor's naughty bits.

"Good morning, sleepyheads!" Ginny sang as loudly and cheerfully as she could manage for nine o'clock on a Saturday morning.

Severus jumped a good two feet in the air and consequently dumped Hermione onto the floor, still fumbling to retrieve his wand.

"I'll just pop round to the shop and grab us some breakfast then, Hermione. Toodles!" Ginny said as she casually walked towards the door. Once safely outside the building, she collapsed in a fit of giggles. For a moment, she wondered if perhaps she should owl Minerva so that Severus's return to the castle would be spotted, likely with the running commentary of the entire female staff, but she swiftly dismissed the idea. No, she'd had her fun this morning, and it seemed a bit too mean-spirited to embarrass the man further, especially since it was clear he'd not enjoyed all the benefits that normally accompanied a walk of shame. Besides, she still wasn't entirely sure that Minerva and her mum hadn't been in cahoots on this enchanted book club thing, and she wanted to ensure she was in no way linked to those two busybodies in case Hermione and Professor Snape found them out.

Inside Hermione's apartment, Severus carefully administered a Healing Spell to the back of Hermione's abused skull. "Sorry about that," he mumbled, feeling her head to ensure that the swelling had completely subsided.

"Oh, it's not your fault at all," Hermione grumbled under her breath, casting a narrow glare at the door where Ginny had departed.

Severus dropped his hand from her head and looked nervously towards the door.

"Um, I guess my head's fine. So..."

"I should go," Severus said abruptly. "I'll see you Tuesday?"

Hermione nodded and watched as Severus fled through the front door as if renegade Death Eaters were coming through the Floo after him. She stalked off to the kitchen to make coffee in a foul mood indeed. Curses! When she’d made dinner plans with Severus, she'd completely forgotten that she and Ginny had made plans for a girls' day today. Otherwise she'd have cancelled or at the very least warded the Floo. Not that she'd really expected him to stay the night. But instead, she'd been robbed! She had no warm, fuzzy memories of falling asleep on the sofa with Severus, and thanks to Ginny she had no idea what it felt like to wake up in his arms. Gods, she'd probably drooled on him, too, or something equally humiliating.

Fuck! It had taken weeks for the man to come out of his shell. He still really wouldn't talk about the war with her, though at least it sounded like he was talking to Minerva. Ginny's little stunt had definitely sent Severus scuttling back into his shell. She angrily transfigured the sofa into two armchairs and tried not to think about what might have happened if they'd awoken together. She nursed her coffee as she stared into the fireplace, slowly acknowledging her nascent feelings for Severus.

Severus Snape stalked in horrified anguish up the grounds of Hogwarts. Fucking Ginevra Weasley. It's been absolutely ages since I've felt this awkward. This is as bad as when Bellatrix debagged me following the last Death Eater initiation, crazy bitch. No wonder I usually keep to my dungeons, Severus grumped as he fired his wand at a clump of knotgrass. Fuck! I cannot believe I dumped her onto the floor! Severus whined to himself. It's not as if I had a real chance with the witch before, but I certainly don't now, after I nearly concussed her.

Thanking the gods that no one was out on the grounds, Severus was relieved to slip into the castle unnoticed. Minerva, damned meddling witch that she was, would certainly comment later on his absence at breakfast, but the delay would give him time to think up a plausible excuse because no degree of physical torture would force him to reveal the real reason.

Severus reached his quarters undetected and dropped into his armchair in relief. Gods, he was exhausted. That sofa of hers must have been transfigured from sacks of potatoes. After summoning a house-elf to bring breakfast, Severus gave some serious thought to the notion of Hermione Granger. Was he too fucking old for this? How did he ever expect to keep up with a witch half his age? And why on earth did getting caught by Ginevra Weasley make him feel like a useless, graceless clod and a naughty teenager? Hell, he'd never been caught with a girl when he was a teenager. Severus shuddered with the realization that he'd inadvertently compared himself to those morons he taught. Thank Merlin it was Saturday and he wouldn't be forced into teenaged company. He didn't have a strong enough Anti-Nausea Potion in his stores to tolerate the dunderheads today.

Ginny returned to Hermione's flat armed with a huge assortment of trendy mini-pastries to placate her friend's anger. Even if Hermione wasn't enraged by her admittedly rude wake-up call, surely she would be smarting from that nasty spill she took. Entering the kitchen to be met with its owner's stony glare, Ginny wondered if perhaps she should have made a side trip for that organic clotted cream that Hermione liked so much. Hermione swiped the bag of pastries from her and stomped off to the sitting room, muttering to Ginny that there was coffee in the pot on the counter.

Summoning her courage – really there was no way this could be worse than enduring one of her mum’s tantrums – Ginny poured herself a cup of coffee and walked to the sitting room to sit in one of the two armchairs that were once Hermione's sofa.

"You are an evil, spiteful woman, Ginny Weasley," Hermione mumbled around a mouthful of scone.

"Oh, but it was priceless, Hermione! I just couldn't resist!" Ginny sniggered as she plucked a small chocolate croissant from the bag. “So, Severus, eh?” Ginny asked as nonchalantly as possible.

Hermione blushed so much that she was nearly fuchsia.

"So, just going after him for the rebound sex, then? Or is it more serious? Wait, let me guess... you're fucking him for his library!"

"Ginny!" Hermione cried as she buried her head in her hands. "You may have noticed we were entirely clothed. We did not have sex."

"Ah, I notice that you don’t deny wanting to fuck the man."

"Gods! Do you have to be so vulgar?"

"It's my best feature!" she said while rummaging through the bag to find one of the little pecan Danishes she'd bought. "So, how long have you had the hots for Professor Snape?"

"Right!" Hermione cried, grabbing the bag of pastries. "I'm holding the pastries hostage until you behave!"

"Oh, alright. Seriously though, you're following up marriage to my brother with a relationship with Severus Snape? Could you choose someone more different from Ron? I must have details!"

"Honestly! We're not even dating. We just... had an emotional conversation last night, and I guess I fell asleep while we were talking."

"Hermione, dear, you were in his arms. This isn't as simple as just falling asleep. Good grief, woman, stop with the blushing virgin bit!"

"Stop! I've barely had a chance to think this through myself," Hermione stated. "I'm not quite sure what to even tell you. We've been seeing a lot of each other lately, what with the stupid book club every week. I invited Severus over for dinner to thank him for being so kind on Tuesday when he brought me home early from the meeting."

Ginny grinned. "Yes, you should have seen the look of horror on the man's face when he opened the door to a roomful of Weasleys."

"Right, well, he came over, and after dinner we started talking about Ron and Lily and Dumbledore. I won't break his confidence by telling you the details of our conversation, but it was very emotional. And then, right in the middle of it, I realized I wanted to kiss him."

"What?!?"

"Well, the timing was awful so I didn't. Instead, I, um, insinuated myself into his arms, and I suppose I fell asleep with my head resting on his chest."

"So, you cuddled with Severus Snape? Cuddled?" Ginny asked with disbelief. "You realize you might be the first person ever to willingly touch the man, right?"

"Oh, stop it. He's not the man we thought he was in school."

"Really? Do tell," Ginny said, gesturing for Hermione to hand over the bag of pastries.

"Well, for starters, remember how caustic he was in the classroom? I think that was just his brand of humour. Because, trust me, the same sort of remarks levelled at the book club are hilarious." Seeing Ginny's disbelief, she continued, "No, really! I'll seriously harm you if you spill a word of this to Molly, but the meetings are almost my favourite part of the week. We've been meeting up at the Cauldron beforehand every week for drinks. He's had some excellent suggestions for some of the research I'm doing, too," Hermione explained.

"Look at you, you smitten kitten! Well, if Severus Snape is the one who puts that smile on your face, I won't protest. It's been years since I've seen you this happy. Just do me a favour and block your Floo next time, yeah?"

"No worries there, provided I can ever lure him back here," Hermione grumbled, shooting Ginny another glare.

"If he's worth anything at all, he won't be able to stay away,” Ginny reassured her.

Having polished off the last of the pastries, the girls transfigured their cloaks into jackets and prepared to hit the streets of Muggle London.

Severus and Hermione shuffled into their seats at the book club. This week's pre-club drinking session at the Cauldron had been extremely awkward before the alcohol had worked its magic. What did one say to a wizard when the last time you saw him he was scrambling to leave your flat as if the hounds of hell were nipping at his heels? They ended up settling for small talk about the status of their respective research projects. Normally, such a conversation would have been stimulating and full of ideas; instead, it was stilted and strained.

The moment they had taken their seats, Matilda Broomshanks descended upon them. "Ms Granger, Mr Snape, I trust you'll be staying for the entirety of the meeting this week? Your early departures have been extremely disruptive, and I won't tolerate another."

Hermione nodded a bit sheepishly as Matilda continued her lecture.

"Next week is your turn to present, and I expect both of you to be as well-prepared as the other club members have been." With that, Matilda scuttled off to tend to the more cooperative members of the book club.

"Bugger," Severus said, casting a malevolent glare at Matilda Broomshanks. "How dare she treat us like errant first-years!"

"Yes, well, I suppose it was too much to hope that we'd get away unscathed after skiving off two weeks in a row."

Before Severus could reply, the witches leading the week's meeting stood to announce that they would be discussing their favourite village characters. Seemingly chastened by Matilda's reprimand, Hermione was nearly silent for the duration of the meeting.

Without their usual acerbic commentary to sustain his interest, Severus struggled to stay awake. Nightmares had plagued him nearly every night since first discussing the war with Hermione. His chats with Minerva were helping, honestly more than he'd thought they would, but it seemed the more he stirred up the past, the more he was doomed to relive it.

Last night, however, his sleep was interrupted by a nightmare that did not include the spectres of war. Instead the dream had taken a turn for the bizarre. Every woman in the book club had “auditioned” for the opportunity to become his bedroom companion. The things that Eunice Greengrass had done with transfigured ping pong balls were still making him queasy. Ethel Brummitch's offer to paint her entire body with the finest Belgian chocolate would surely put him off sweets for life. He could murder his subconscious for forcing him to contemplate what lurked beneath that woman's robes. But the coup de grace had been when Hermione showed up with a map of his body that was colour-coded to denote which regions were most sensitive to licking, kissing, temperature changes, and several other attributes which never would have crossed his mind. What's worse, he was quite certain Hermione would be capable of creating just such a piece of spelled parchment, which likely would include features even his subconscious couldn't imagine. He could scarcely look at the witch without recalling that damned map; it was all he could do not to blush.

The only thing keeping him awake through the world's most boring meeting was the knowledge that his proximity to Hermione would likely prompt an even racier dream. Falling back on his old Occlumency routines, he began listing ingredients, cursing himself soundly when he realized he'd named ingredients for, in order, Stamina Potion, Contraceptive Potion, and Draught of Everlasting Lust, which promised an exciting evening for all until the antidote was taken.

At long last, the meeting ended, and Hermione broke her silence. "Do you want to meet up Friday evening so that we can figure out what the hell we're going to present?"

Severus nodded in agreement and offered, "I have a meeting after dinner on Friday, but I'm available afterwards. Will eight o'clock work?"

"Eight's fine. There's rather a nice coffee shop a couple of minutes from my flat if you'd like to go there."

Severus responded, "I'll see you at your flat at eight, then." He grabbed his cloak and quickly departed, hoping desperately that he'd be able to put that cursed map out of his mind by Friday.

Shit! Hermione thought, glancing at her watch. Severus was due to arrive in ten minutes, and she still couldn't decide what to wear. This is bloody embarrassing! Teenage girls take less time to figure out their outfits. She wanted to look attractive but not so much that it was obvious that she was trying to look attractive. This wasn't actually a date, after all. Oh, but how she wished it was; since admitting to Ginny her growing attraction, she'd barely been able to spare two brain cells for anything but Severus Snape. She was immensely thankful that the current phase of her project merely had her mindlessly repeating on numerous Hogwarts textbooks the Capturing, Indexing, and Vetting Electronic Text Spell, or CIVETS as she liked to call it, that she had developed as part of a pilot project for the World Wide Wizarding Web for Malfoy Industries. Had her work required higher functioning thought processes, she'd surely be horribly behind. She couldn't wait until the project was over; she was under a confidentiality agreement until the WWWW pilot was released. She was dying to tell Severus about it. Just the potential in Potions alone was mind-boggling, never mind the connections between Herbology and Potions. Hermione forced herself to stop wool-gathering and resumed the search for an appropriate outfit.

Finally, she pulled out the purple wrap-around jumper that Ginny had given her for Christmas. Surprisingly less slutty than the clothes Ginny normally tried to foist upon her, the sweater certainly fit the requirements for the evening: tasteful, alluring without revealing more than the slightest hint of cleavage, and neither red nor green. She had just finished throwing on the jumper and jeans when the wards announced Severus's presence at the door.

She opened the door to find Severus bedecked in a black jumper and slacks that suited his figure much, much better than his usual robes. She struggled to keep her jaw from dropping as her eyes nearly wept with joy.

Severus was far more prepared to maintain his composure; she'd opened the door fully clothed rather than in the skimpy negligee she'd worn in last night's dream. Although recalling THAT mental image certainly didn't help him keep his cool.

"Hello, Severus. Let me just grab my notebook, and we can leave for the shop. I've been itching for some of their biscuits all day."

With that, the duo quickly departed for the coffee shop. Hermione and Severus had just retrieved their orders and seated themselves when Hermione's mobile began ringing. "I'm sorry, but that's my mum's ring. I'll just be a moment," she said, retrieving the phone from her bag. "Hello, Mum," she said cheerfully as she idly stirred her coffee. "Oh, that's awful. Will he be okay? Of course, I understand if you can't make it. No, I'll find someone to take your ticket so it doesn't go to waste. Give Dad my love, Mum. Bye."

Severus sipped his espresso and tried desperately not to gawk at the way that devilish jumper clung to her breasts.

Returning the mobile to her bag, Hermione explained to Severus, "My dad's come down with a stomach bug, so Mum won't be able to come to the concert with me tomorrow night." She paused, briefly second-guessing the opportunity that fate had given her. "I've got an extra ticket now: I don't suppose you'd like to attend?"

Severus reckoned he ought not to sound too eager. "What's on the programme for the evening?"

"Ravel's Bolero and pieces from Prokofiev and Shostakovich. Sorry, but I've forgotten which ones," Hermione replied, trying desperately not to look too hopeful.

Bolero! I fucking hate Bolero! Damned repetitive shit. Well, at least the Shostakovich ought to keep me from falling asleep, Severus thought before telling Hermione that he had no other plans for the evening.

"Excellent! Well, it starts at eight, so what time should we meet up?" Hermione asked, silently pleading that he would take the opening she'd left.

"I believe it's customary to take in dinner before a concert? Shall I make reservations for six thirty, formal dress?"

"That sounds excellent." Hermione was tickled pink. Not only had she brokered a date for the following evening, but it seemed they'd broken the logjam on conversation. "Right, well that's settled. I suppose we'd best get on with the book club presentation," Hermione said, wrinkling her nose in distaste. "Did you have any ideas?"

"The only idea I came up with was inspired by a party of seventh-year Slytherins that I broke up a few weeks ago: a Nigel Reese drinking game."

Hermione laughed heartily at Severus's suggestion. "Oh! Here's one: every time Nigel demonstrates a spell learned by first-years take a drink after someone has cast Wingardium Leviosa on your glass!"

Severus grinned and responded, "Every time a woman swoons at Nigel's feet, take a drink from a chalice shaped like an arse?"

Hermione nearly spat out her coffee. She thought for a moment and responded, "Hmm, every time Nigel refers to himself with a four-syllable adjective, take a drink after giving your best effort at kissing your own arse."

"Better yet, when someone forces you to read an officious novel, take eight drinks in succession while trapped in a Body Bind," Severus said as he scowled into his coffee cup.

"Seriously, though, I really just want to stir up the meeting a bit. Don't you think it's odd that not one single witch has commented negatively on the book? Not only is that unnatural, given the book, but it's highly improbable for any book! I mean, look at the two of us! We've suffered this thing all along without openly offering criticism. I bet there are witches in the group who are at least slightly put off by the book."

"Sounds reasonable. So, are we openly fomenting rebellion, or did you have something a bit more subtle in mind?" Severus asked with a wicked grin.

"I'm sure you'll be shocked to hear such an answer from a Gryffindor, but I was thinking that something more subtle might be more appropriate. I took some notes on some of the club members after Tuesday's meeting that should help us get the discussion moving," Hermione said as she pulled out her notes, leaned towards Severus, and began excitedly outlining her plan.

A/N: Persevero tells me that 'debagged' is the British equivalent of having one's pants forcibly removed while revealing one's underpants to the world. Figures that Bellatrix found out the answer to the infamous boxers vs. briefs debate.