41: The Three-Body Problem
Chapter 41 of 47
Fawkes_07Checking in with Hermione once again, as she ponders recent developments--both with Our Hero and the Redhead Menace.
ReviewedWhy can't anything ever be SIMPLE?
Hermione woke up just after dawn on a Saturday, tired and grouchy, but with too much busy-brain to get back to sleep. She watched the sunbeams spread across the ceiling, down the far wall, and then settle onto the floor for their daily trek, all the while listening to the quiet breathing of her slumbering roommates. Padma and Parvati had kept her up late, giggling over the new Witch Weekly and its latest "beauty tips." They were precisely the sort of drivel Severus had mentioned once, ways to allegedly make oneself more attractive, since Merlin forbid any witch perceive that she was good enough just as she was. Hermione was glad Padma had been sorted into Ravenclaw; eventually she had to go back to her own dorm--and take her stupid magazine with her. Parvati and Lavender were bad enough without her along too.
Things had cooled off a bit with Severus. The first night back had been so delectably intense, only to be followed by that first day. They'd made up, and she really had forgiven him, mostly, but it was all just so blooming frustrating. Hermione saw the other girls' glances, noticed the lowered voices and discontinued conversations. She'd become the poster child for "What NOT To Do To Attract Boys," not just in Gryffindor Tower but, it seemed, in the entire castle.
She'd never bragged about Viktor; she'd never felt the inclination, and of course she also knew darn good and well that there was no NEED to brag. Every girl in the school was jealous that the famous Seeker had sought HER. But Viktor was studious and serious, having a need to prove to himself (or to his father, or to someone) that he was more than just a meatball jock. When he played with her, they had fun, but he was far more diligent about work than play. And after he left, Hermione's social scene had dried up and scattered like so many tumbleweeds.
In public, anyway. It was fun to have this diabolical little secret, true, and Severus was such a tasty challenge, sweet and sharp and always unpredictable. Yes, she could revel in the knowledge that all those smug looks from throughout the Great Hall were misguided, that if only they knew what she did with the stern, sexy enigma from the dungeons, they'd all be jealous once again. Such thoughts could tide her over from time to time, but in the end, Hermione Granger was sick and tired of being Just A Friend.
Ron liked her. She could see it as plain as the freckles on his face. Hell, she'd seen it back in their fourth year, when he was too young and clueless to see it himself. Like Viktor, Ron knew her; he knew she was obsessed with studying and good grades, knew she wasn't afraid to speak her mind or argue with him (a behavior that would have the entire editorial staff of Witch Weekly rolling on the floor in agony as though cursed with a collective Cruciatus). It was nice to be liked by a guy who saw her for what she was.
Viktor had felt the same way without the benefit of years of shared adventures to create a bond. But Viktor was... complicated. He was through with school and lived far away, still playing Quidditch for the Vrasta Vultures. He had made some small noises about being traded to a British team, but nothing ever came of it. His agent, an incredibly overbearing and unpleasant man, considered Viktor's "appearance" a commodity--and what was worse, Viktor allowed this to happen. Sex appeal sold tickets, ergo Viktor needed to keep up a roguish/available image in the public sector. Trading to the Montrose Magpies in order to live within Apparating distance of his girlfriend would risk eliminating the 18-to-50-year-old female demographic from the stadiums.
And in many ways Snape was Viktor all over again. Older, sexier, and so much more intense for that Dark Mark on his arm--and paradoxically sweeter and more vulnerable as well. But with Voldemort and Dumbledore as Snape's "handlers," Viktor's agent was an indulgent pushover in comparison. Assuming Severus even survived the war looming like a karmic wrecking ball in the murky future, it didn't seem to matter which of his "masters" emerged victorious. It would take years before he'd reveal to Dumbledore that he'd taken up with a student, and if, Heaven forbid, Voldemort won the war, she'd be lucky if he didn't stuff her into a rocket and hide her on the moon somewhere.
But Ron...
Ron was just there, like a big friendly pooch, playful, loyal, and charming in his own goofy, unassuming way. Not as tragic as Harry, who seemed destined for perpetual bachelorhood. Sirius's death seemed to seal Harry up within himself, the cistern in his heart having been built deep and sturdy by his loveless family and multiple betrayals across the board. How Harry could ever trust anyone was beyond her, but against all odds, he had shared his heart with his godfather. Only to have this honest, strong relationship come crashing to a halt at the hands of Bellatrix Lestrange. Hermione gripped the coverlet on her bed with both fists. Tonks and Sirius couldn't kill you, you bitch, but I swear I will see it done, for taking that from Harry. No quarter for that one.
She let go of the bedspread and willed herself to calm down and concentrate. No sense in getting all worked up about it now, on a sunny morning in Hogwarts. Today was Quidditch tryouts. Ron really, really wanted to play, and was very, very nervous about that dipshit, McClaggen. What a gigantic flaming tosser. McClaggen was arrogant and bossy--he could give Ferretboy Malfoy a run for his money. And Harry, bless his sweet heart, was trying so hard to be fair as the new Captain, he wouldn't just give the Keeper slot to Ron even though he wanted to give it as much as Ron wanted to have it.
All this fuss over a stupid game, she thought in annoyance for the millionth time, but she knew it was more than that. They loved doing it, for whatever reason, and Harry really did have talent. He might play against Viktor in the professional leagues someday. That thought brought a wicked smile to her lips. Talk about a stadium full of the Young Female Demographic! Those two hotties zipping about for hours at a time, Wonky-Fainting at one another... The fans would try to catch the Snitch and hide it in their handbags just to keep the show going.
Hermione halted in her reverie to smile again, basking in the knowledge that both of those athletic, sexy men had a place in their hearts for her. She peeked over at Parvati, drooling on her pillow, and delivered a catty look of her own for a change.
Another heavy sigh. Ron wasn't likely to make it in the big leagues. He just got too nervous up there, too worried about making a mistake to concentrate on doing it right. With a flash of insight, Hermione realized that this might just be what had kept Ron from asking her out to the Yule ball two years ago--and what had kept him at arm's length since then as well. It made sense. He'd prefer to go along with the status quo, even if it became bungled and miserable, than to take charge and risk blowing things completely. He might be stretched out on his four-poster bed right now, staring at the same sunrise and imagining the two of them out on a date, but deathly afraid to upset the current equilibrium by even asking if she was interested.
But if I did the asking, he'd absolutely have a paddy, wouldn't he? Ron had too many big brothers to "let a girl be in charge." It had to be his idea, his first step, lest Fred and George call him "Pussy Whipped Ronnie" for the rest of his life. Hermione almost laughed out loud, but caught herself before waking her roommates.
And behind all these scenes was Severus. The greatest complicating factor of all. She shivered, recalling the way he said he loved her. She'd never imagined he'd say such a thing, not in her wildest dreams. It had been rather terrifying, when she first had a moment to really think about it. He was so serious and grim, he couldn't have said that, couldn't have felt that, very often.
She wasn't at all sure that she felt the same in return. She wanted him; his silken voice and mysterious ways were downright addictive. But love? Her brow furrowed. All I wanted was a little action! And before that, she'd only wanted to learn some gods-damned Occlumency. Love was right out there with running off to the South Seas: an overreaction, far too intense for this point in her life. It carried the suffocating connotations of settling down, raising families, day jobs, laundry. She wanted a boyfriend, dammit, someone she could parade around with in front of those smug ding-bats and snog away some of the day's passions, not a lifelong committment to long black hairs in the sink.
Hermione rolled over with a huff. Simplicity was all she wanted. Mostly.
She also wanted to feel Severus pressing her into his hips again, wanted that indescribable release that only he had ever given her, wanted to return the favor.
She gritted her teeth for a moment, then got out of bed and into her slippers. It was almost time for breakfast anyway. She didn't have to make any decisions right this minute, just get downstairs and join the boys and try to take Ron's mind off the Quidditch tryouts. They hadn't been down to see Hagrid in a while; maybe they could do that today. And hell, if Ron could at least keep his cool enough to make a good show during tryouts, she just might be able to help him garner an edge over the competition.
With a flick of her wand, she lit the lamps in the bathroom. That rascal Snape was rubbing off on her, after all.
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Latest 25 Reviews for Fair Exchanges
909 Reviews | 6.76/10 Average
I've warned you that i will continue to harrass you about finishing this story until my dying day. And i always keep my word. Hope you are still around, that all is well for you, and that this story remains on your eternal to do list.
Response from Fawkes_07 (Author of Fair Exchanges)
Sigh. It is. It really is. I need a time machine.
Hello again! I don't know if you are even still around, but reading the rest of this story is on my bucket list, so while I still have breath in me, I shall continue to nudge you toward writing. Hope all is well with you and yours.
SPOILER Warning******In case someone has gone this many years without getting through the last book in the series****************************I hope this new turn in their relationship keeps her from wishing she could just hold hands with someone and walk around the lake. She's had a man now. I can't imagine, at least I hope she doesn't go back to boys. What are you going to do about the Ron thing? She can't go with Ron now. It would would be too mean to Severus! I hope she understands when Albus is killed. Poor Severus! There. Again I'm saying it! I don't mind his sacrifices if I know he will be rewarded with the love he deserves for what he has had to pay to rid the world of Tom Riddle. I hope you work this out so that he doesn't suffer at the end and you'd better not kill him off like the witch who kills small beloved pets like owls, and sweet dear magical creatures like house elves protecting their loved one, cruelly rends twins assunder with one on this side alone without his other half and the other one on the opposite side of the vale tellikng jokes without punch lines! Please tell me you will not follow that part of cannon. You are already forcing Severus to do things I don't know if Hermione can forgive him for. She must forgive him though.When are you going to work on this story some more? Do you know? Are you planing to finish this story or did the last cannon book kill your joy when she killed off our Potions Master in an incredibly un-Severus Snap like end. ....As if the Potions Master of all masters wouldn't have antivenin.
Response from Fawkes_07 (Author of Fair Exchanges)
You know, it's funny... DH actually kind of DID kill off a lot of my motivation to keep writing fanfic, even though I never really thought of it that way until just now. I wrote my own Book 7 for my kids--HP and the Heirs of Slytherin, it's here on TPP--starting in about 2006, just because I KNEW JKR was going to blow it. I just knew I wouldn't like her book 7. A lot of these fics kind of spun off during the process of writing HoS, including Fair Exchanges. HoS has a lot of legilimency/occlumency in it, and Hermione asks Harry not to look at her dreams. That sparked this story... Anyway, once I finished HoS, I kinda moved on to other projects and my unfinished fics have been sort of waiting on the vine for me. I know how they all end, and some of them are just a few chapters from complete. But part of the trouble with Fair Exchanges is that I hate DH so much I have no desire to read it carefully enough to make Fair Ex canon-compliant. It can't even be HoS compliant, because my alt. universe has even more trouble ahead for Snape. If it's any comfort, though, the last two chapters of this story were written LONG ago, and it wraps up the story in a way I really liked. I posted them on some other ff sites, if you want to go hunting for them. I kept them off TPP, though, because I wanted to post the whole thing properly here.
She is being a normal girl, unfortunately for Severus. Severus Snape requires a remarkable woman. Strong, forgiving, able to make her own happiness most of the time and able to consistantly see past the Death Eater Double Spy. He needssomeone who wants him especially because he isn't like any other man on earth. And he needs someone older than Hermione. I would be thinking just exactly what she is thinking. He is looking for a life time commitment. She just isn't there yet. I don't se how this can end well for either of them unless you figure out a way to turn cannon around soon. I hate the way things turned out in the cannon. She ruined everything! I can't stand it. I hope you can salvage this back story so that it comes out much better than the original. Severus deserves better. I hate feeling sorry for Snape, damn it! I want him to show them all. I want him to end up with the best end of any stick.
Poor Severus. I wish she'd run off to Polynesia with him. I hope she's worth it in the end. She has no real idea what he faces here. They are living in the moment when they see each other. He knows more about her than she knows about him. There is so much more to him than there is to Hermione at this point in her life. How old is she, 15 or 16? Well, at least he can have someone pure. I hope she never asks about his other lovers. I don't think she is ready for the answer. I'm not sure I'd be ready for the Centaura. And we know that in his youth he willingly committed rape in this story, though he reqrets it now. I don't know that Hermione could really handle that knowledge. She might be able to handle the idea that he had possibly been forced to do it, but not with certainty that he had ever willingly done it. He's so screwed is she ever finds out all the things he has to do, unless she is a very unusual individual and not very judgemental. I hope for his sake she is as remarkable as he thinks she is.
Hello! I think Draco just passed out! What do you do with this lie. How to explain that 2 men who appeared to absolutely despise one another were lovers on the low down. Would Draco even fall for that? I don't think he has been present at the OP meetings to observed the apparent mutual hatred. Draco doesn't know how much the murrauders stalked and abused poor Severus. Maybe he'll fall fore it. Poor boy wil be manipulated by the Uncle he trustes. That must taste like shit to Severus.
And Hermione can't know about Draco! She would not understand.
Severus Snape is the most adept spie of all the world if he pulls this off. He must feel like he can never get clean from lying regulary to those few who trust him, beastiality, cheeting on his overly homornal girlfriend that he shouldn't be with, but amazingly they actually love each other and trust each other. Now, add buggery in order to manipulate his godson. He must keep Hermione and Draco apart. And what would the dark lord or Albus Dumblebutt have to say about all of this distasteful activity. Dude, when this is all over you are going to need some serious counceling!
OK. What should he do now? I say, let the twirp kiss you so that you can get on his good side and find out his secrets. Hey! It's a dog eat dog world out there right now. Just hope that Hermione doens't find out you cheated on her with 4 Centaras and her worst enemy at the school and all in the same week. It's a fine edge you tread, poor Severus. I actually feel sorry for you.
Lucky in many ways it seems, our Severus. The Dark Lord needed a laugh. Oooooo, let a name slip in there that starts with an H. So who actually rescued the toad in the forest after all? Make up any answer you like. I had assumed it was Albus. But why he would bother is beyond me. Does Severus have to go back to fetch her?
So! Our dear potions master is hung like a stallion! Well of couse he is! Those naughty girls. It's a good thing Hermione doesn't know. And, isn't he terrified of being caught in the act by the stallions while making love to the mares? I'm sure they would kill him. I'm glad he gets some small reward for his hard work protecting Harry. It really is too bad they didn't kill Umbridge. I know Jkr needs her later in the story. I hope she has permanent damage though.
There's no way that will happen under these circumstances. I don't believe it. Girls need a mood or something to get then started.
Don't worry Hermione, dear. After you've been married for more than 3 decades you actually will grow together down there from lack of use. You see, the little man is victim to depression, high blood pressure, diabetes and sundry medications for said infirmities, but eventually this will only spark a sense of resigned bitterness. Dreams though few and far between will be a welcomed relief. So cry no more dear girl and by the gods grab him while you can! Perhaps in your world magic will make these things not so. If that is the case, get over it you silly girl. He must truly be desperate to put up with this. You all must be. I was quite emotional the first 20 years. It was dreadful! Now I am resigned to the fact that what ever you were fighting about the first 2 years are the same things you will be fighting about in 10 years until eventually you just look at him and shake your head. Put up with it or try to train a new one. Here is the most important thing you will ever know. They cannot be trained. Don't waste your time.
I love, "like a raisin through a guinea pig"! I take it you speak from experience based on your picture of Mr. Flibbert, I believe his name was. One of the things that annoyed the hell out of me in the movie version of TGoF was the hormonal Hermione whining and bitching in her high pitched self righteous girl BS. I think she was pissed off just like in this chapter for the entire movie. I realize it is true to life but it is still annoying. I have two drama queens of my own and it doesn't get better when they grow up. I am grateful for grandsons. They are loud and every game requires growling and yelling and running in the house, not to mention accidentally bumping into each other on purpose etc. but I am looking forward to much less drama as when they reach puberty. I look also look forward to Hermione in this story finishing her O.L.W.S. I'm hyper-sensitive from PTSD after raising two daughters.
Here it is 2014 and still no end in sight. Please finish this, it is too good and to frustrating to stop here,
Response from Fawkes_07 (Author of Fair Exchanges)
Sigh... I know. I really would like to finish it someday. Too many projects, not enough time!
You do know that as long as this story sits unfinished, I am going to pop in periodically and bug you, right? Now I am not pressuring you. I know that real life can be a bitch. All I'm saying is that I probably have a good fifty years left in me, and I am going to continue to encourage you until I take my last breath. Oh, but please don't wait that long as I do want to read the end, lol.
Hi Fawkes_07, I have enjoyed this so much! It is of course beautifully written and plotted. I think you've captured all the characters quite well. The sense of humor in this story is wonderful and was a great surprise. Love the interactions between H and Severus, and also between Severus & Draco. I see that it has been some years since you've updated. Please, please don't abandon this story! Happy writing!
Ah, I remember following this story every week. It's a shame RL got in the way and it's gone 3 years-ish without an update. I hope you're doing well and come back to it some day. Thank you for the wonderful half-fic, for what it's worth :)
What the what?? I followed you over from MNFF to see what I'd missed, holy mess!!!! I LOVE this story, it constantly shocks me!!
Response from Fawkes_07 (Author of Fair Exchanges)
LOL, yeah, MNFF had an issue with the human/centaur thing. Glad you're enjoying it... I hope to finish it someday if I ever get my life back.
wow, this story just gets creepier and creepier, in the most interesting and hilarious way possible. this has to be the best story i have ever read on any fanfiction site. u are an awesome writer; i have never laughed this much at a story. i now see why mnff just couldnt bear it, lol, way too many disturbing things. i just got used to the thought of draco being a sex god in other stories, now u make him gay! bwahahaha, talk about a monkeywrench. im sad snape gave that 16-year-old release to the mares. i wished my girl hermione had gotten a piece of that. now that would have been fun to read and write, im sure, hehe. again, u are brilliant!
Response from Fawkes_07 (Author of Fair Exchanges)
<laughs> Wow, glad you're enjoying it! Yeah, MNFF drew the line at the "bestiality" elements (though they don't seem to mind human/werewolf and human/veela). Eh, whatever.Hadn't thought of the 16-year gap ending with the ponies... I guess this is sort of a tragic story, huh?
More Please!?!?!? I so like how this story is going. Love the HG/SS relationship. I so can not wait for more.
Response from Fawkes_07 (Author of Fair Exchanges)
Sigh... I know. I really do intend to finish it, and the funniest stuff is yet to come. You just would not believe the times I've had the past couple years--broken ribs, my mom passed away, a new nonprofit opened in town and begged me to write their grants... I don't even READ fanfic any more, much less write it. But someday things will settle down.
I tried to read this story when I was 16 years of age, back then I could barely read English (not my first language) and I had to consult the dictionary every 3 minutes or so but I do remember little bits of it... This amazing first chapter for example. It's so well written and so true to the characters. It's a pleasure to be able to read it again.
Response from Fawkes_07 (Author of Fair Exchanges)
Wow! That's so cool! I'm glad you liked it well enough to come back to it! Thanks!
Aww, Snape's going to be a father. *snickers*
Response from Fawkes_07 (Author of Fair Exchanges)
Not after he gets that potion ready...
The age of consent in the UK is 16 not to mention the use of the Time-Turner so she's actually almost two years older than her peers. She could've consented before.
Response from Fawkes_07 (Author of Fair Exchanges)
Hmm, I suppose so. But she used the date to such a fine advantage... had to go with it.
You are a wonderful writer, and I always look forward to reading more of your story. This is byfar my favorite Snape/Hermione fanfic ever. I thank you soooo much for updating! I love love love everything about it! Are you though, planning to go canon and kill him off in the end, or will I have to wait and see? You make my week!
Response from Fawkes_07 (Author of Fair Exchanges)
Heh, well, I don't like to give out spoilers but I'll just say I don't consider DH as part of canon. So that may answer your question...
I went back and reread the last chapter to refresh the story in my brain. It has been a damn long time woman! Come back to the potterverse! We miss you. Im all sorts of confused about H's trouble in potions. Whatever could it be?
Response from Fawkes_07 (Author of Fair Exchanges)
Herms was totally upstaged by Harry in potions that year, on account of Harry having the HBP's potion text. She was pretty po'd about that--but she can't tell Snape or that would ruin Harry's surprise. But I think it's funny that she would be in such a good position to blow Harry's scheme out of the water...
ROFLMAO! Oohhhh noooo. Snape, you silly man. I was afraid something like this would happen. Can wizards and centaur breed with each other?! You really do love torturing Snape. It's a fun kind of torture, though.
Response from Fawkes_07 (Author of Fair Exchanges)
*snerk* It IS fun to torture old Sev. Maybe Voldy thinks so too, I dunno.