3: Old Habits Die Hard
Chapter 3 of 47
Fawkes_07As the details of the new relationship get sorted out, raw nerves and second thoughts lead things to take a turn for the worse.
ReviewedSnape stretched languidly upon awakening. That was the best night's sleep he'd had in a long time, and the brush of the bedclothes against his skin felt particularly sensual. In an instant, however, all of that was forgotten as he sat bolt upright in panic. I never heard her leave! He took a deep breath to calm himself, then ground his teeth angrily. What nonsense was this, for him to be in such a state in his own bloody bedroom! Momentarily forgetting his vow to keep his nightshirt out of view, he yanked open the curtains of his four-poster.
There was no one there.
The coals had died out long ago; the hearthstones were cold. But on the small marble table beside the chair lay her book, with a rectangle of Muggle paper tucked neatly between pages six and seven. Snape scanned over the text, flipped back a page, then another. He couldn't remember a word after the middle of the second page.
Snape sat down to breakfast in the Great Hall, his eyes deliberately avoiding the Gryffindor table. To his chagrin, there was a corner of parchment poking out from under his plate. His heart leapt into his throat, but he kept his features impassive as he surreptitiously slid it into his palm.
Dear Professor,We neglected to arrange our next meeting.
I thought to return by the same path as
I departed, arriving at the door at the
same time as before. Please confirm if
this is quite alright.
There was no signature, thank goodness, but he recognized her tidy script immediately. "Idiot girl," he fumed under his breath, "at least she had the sense not to use an owl." That control freak, Umbridge, was screening the mail; she would stick to him like pine tar if she caught wind of any secret meetings, professor or no.
He caught her eye during Potions that afternoon and gave her a single curt nod.
By 11:30, he was reduced to pacing the floor. This was insane. No one would accept the truth if she were discovered coming to his room every night. Frankly, it would almost be worse if they did! If it came to that, he'd prefer to be thrown off the faculty for disgraceful conduct than admit he'd been having midnight liasons with a young lady for the purpose of bedtime stories.
Not to mention he'd left the fireplace open to the Floo Network all night (albeit only to the rest of Hogwarts--he had barred it from the main grid, lest outsiders have access to his office). Heavens above, that dreadful Umbridge woman was monitoring the fires too, particularly the Gryffindor fire, thanks to Potter and Black! No, this would stop tonight; the lessons would stop if she so insisted. He would not be compromised by such an absurd situation.
She stepped out of the fire in his office and frowned. "Oh! I expected you'd be in your room. Should I come back later?"
"No. Turn around and go, but do not come back. I am ending our agreement."
She rose to her full height. "You most certainly are not! I won't permit it!" He stepped closer to her, raising his hand menacingly, but to his utter disbelief, she shoved his hand aside. "You will not manipulate me into a debt, Severus Snape."
When something occurs that is completely outside one's normal experience, it takes a moment to grasp it as reality. For that reason, and that reason only, Snape remained silent long enough for Hermione to continue.
"Are you worried I'll get caught in the Floo Network? Well, don't be. I've been given a classified spell by... someone in the Order. One of the Aurors, I can't say who. Look at the fire!"
Snape was torn between strangling her and doing as he was told. He finally gave in to the latter; the flames were nearly out, but there was something odd. Within the usual emerald green, there was a flicker of red.
"I'm not supposed to have it, obviously, and I had to make an Unbreakable Vow not to use it for any other purpose," she said heavily. "But no one will catch me coming or leaving here."
Now he had familiar rage to ground him. "And precisely what did you tell this Auror when you asked for such a spell?" Every word was a shard of glass, slicing into her consciousness. She took an instinctive step backward, her eyes widening.
"I said I was getting Occlumency lessons," she said, the confidence finally draining from her voice. "From you."
He eliminated the gap between them and seized her shoulders with a crushing grip, speaking through gritted teeth. "You walk here for the lessons."
"I fibbed a little," she squeaked shakily. "I mean, this is for the lessons, just not directly." She squirmed as he tightened his grip. "You're hurting me."
"I am aware of that," he said icily. "I thought I made it clear, Miss Granger, that no one was to know anything about this arrangement."
"Please stop."
"Stop? I've barely begun," he breathed and leaned forward, forcing her to her knees. "I attempted to get my point across with words alone, Miss Granger, apparently without success. Understand that I can and will employ other means to assure your compliance with our bargain."
She shuddered, but to her credit, she looked him square in the eye. "Noted. I hope you'll forgive my indiscretion."
Snape began to shake with supressed laughter. That non-apology was so steely, he could use it on Lord Voldemort if the need ever arose again. He gave her upper body a vicious twist as though to tear her in half, then let her go. She doubled over, her arms crossed over her chest; he wondered absently if he had pressed too hard and broken a clavicle. When she straightened up again, however, he could see her shoulders were still even. He folded his arms and sneered down at her, daring her to complain. "Tell me, do you still wish to be bound by our agreement, Miss Granger?"
She looked up at him, narrow eyes filled with fear and contempt. "Yes," she said in a scraped voice, then clenched her teeth tightly.
Just to eliminate any doubt of the pecking order, Snape took her chin in his hand and dragged his thumb roughly over her mouth, pulling her lower lip out into a little pout. He leaned down very slowly with his teeth bared as if to kiss her, or bite her, or both, gripping her jaw when she tried to pull away. He left less than a finger's breadth between them; he ran his tongue over his lips, the better to feel her shallow, rapid breath. "Then see that you keep it," he whispered, pushing her away with disdain. "Ten minutes."
From behind the curtains of his bed, he heard the soft patter as she crossed the room and took the chair. She caught her breath several times during the process, and when she began to read, her voice rattled, though it soon became firm and even.
"F-Father thought that was all of it, that it was finished. He even finished cursing, just on principle, as though there were no urgency anywhere, heeling the chair back to the desk and seeing the scattered money which would have to be counted all over now, and then he started to curse at Boon again, not even about the pistol but simply at Boon for being Boon Hogganbeck, until I told him..."
Snape had expected she would cry as she sat alone in his dark office, but he hadn't heard a sound; only the aftermath of her tears gave her away. A thin halo of wandlight illuminated the curtain. He held up his hand and observed its silhouette; his palm alone was as wide as her entire shoulder. A sudden pang of guilt shot through him.
Snape had left the service of the Dark Lord for many reasons. One was that he had come to understand that inflicting pain was a hollow victory. It had its appeal when he was young and filled with self-righteous rage, but it was far too easy--particularly with victims who were smaller or weaker than himself. The Dark Lord used the Cruciatus curse regularly, with immediate and productive results, but Dumbledore achieved the same level of service and loyalty with a wink of his eye. In that, Snape had recognized the nature of true power.
He looked at his hand again as he listened to the rich, woven text she was reading. Hollow victory, indeed. She was smaller and lighter, knew only a fraction of the spells he knew; indeed, even if she were prepared to retaliate, she wouldn't dare, lest she be expelled. Ah, yes, Severus, you're a courageous man, aren't you? he thought in disgust.
But then again, there was something of value in the exchange. She could have run from his office, even gone straight to the headmaster with the tale of his assault. She chose to stay and uphold her own honor, even though she was hurt, probably frightened. His intimidation brought out her courage; his weakness would make her stronger. And she would hate him for it.
Cursing himself inwardly for such sentimentality, he placed his fingertips delicately against the curtain, as though the flimsy fabric were a real, solid barrier between them.
Story Actions
To follow, favorite, like, and more either log in or create an account.
Leave a Review
Log in to leave a review.
Latest 25 Reviews for Fair Exchanges
909 Reviews | 6.76/10 Average
I've warned you that i will continue to harrass you about finishing this story until my dying day. And i always keep my word. Hope you are still around, that all is well for you, and that this story remains on your eternal to do list.
Response from Fawkes_07 (Author of Fair Exchanges)
Sigh. It is. It really is. I need a time machine.
Hello again! I don't know if you are even still around, but reading the rest of this story is on my bucket list, so while I still have breath in me, I shall continue to nudge you toward writing. Hope all is well with you and yours.
SPOILER Warning******In case someone has gone this many years without getting through the last book in the series****************************I hope this new turn in their relationship keeps her from wishing she could just hold hands with someone and walk around the lake. She's had a man now. I can't imagine, at least I hope she doesn't go back to boys. What are you going to do about the Ron thing? She can't go with Ron now. It would would be too mean to Severus! I hope she understands when Albus is killed. Poor Severus! There. Again I'm saying it! I don't mind his sacrifices if I know he will be rewarded with the love he deserves for what he has had to pay to rid the world of Tom Riddle. I hope you work this out so that he doesn't suffer at the end and you'd better not kill him off like the witch who kills small beloved pets like owls, and sweet dear magical creatures like house elves protecting their loved one, cruelly rends twins assunder with one on this side alone without his other half and the other one on the opposite side of the vale tellikng jokes without punch lines! Please tell me you will not follow that part of cannon. You are already forcing Severus to do things I don't know if Hermione can forgive him for. She must forgive him though.When are you going to work on this story some more? Do you know? Are you planing to finish this story or did the last cannon book kill your joy when she killed off our Potions Master in an incredibly un-Severus Snap like end. ....As if the Potions Master of all masters wouldn't have antivenin.
Response from Fawkes_07 (Author of Fair Exchanges)
You know, it's funny... DH actually kind of DID kill off a lot of my motivation to keep writing fanfic, even though I never really thought of it that way until just now. I wrote my own Book 7 for my kids--HP and the Heirs of Slytherin, it's here on TPP--starting in about 2006, just because I KNEW JKR was going to blow it. I just knew I wouldn't like her book 7. A lot of these fics kind of spun off during the process of writing HoS, including Fair Exchanges. HoS has a lot of legilimency/occlumency in it, and Hermione asks Harry not to look at her dreams. That sparked this story... Anyway, once I finished HoS, I kinda moved on to other projects and my unfinished fics have been sort of waiting on the vine for me. I know how they all end, and some of them are just a few chapters from complete. But part of the trouble with Fair Exchanges is that I hate DH so much I have no desire to read it carefully enough to make Fair Ex canon-compliant. It can't even be HoS compliant, because my alt. universe has even more trouble ahead for Snape. If it's any comfort, though, the last two chapters of this story were written LONG ago, and it wraps up the story in a way I really liked. I posted them on some other ff sites, if you want to go hunting for them. I kept them off TPP, though, because I wanted to post the whole thing properly here.
She is being a normal girl, unfortunately for Severus. Severus Snape requires a remarkable woman. Strong, forgiving, able to make her own happiness most of the time and able to consistantly see past the Death Eater Double Spy. He needssomeone who wants him especially because he isn't like any other man on earth. And he needs someone older than Hermione. I would be thinking just exactly what she is thinking. He is looking for a life time commitment. She just isn't there yet. I don't se how this can end well for either of them unless you figure out a way to turn cannon around soon. I hate the way things turned out in the cannon. She ruined everything! I can't stand it. I hope you can salvage this back story so that it comes out much better than the original. Severus deserves better. I hate feeling sorry for Snape, damn it! I want him to show them all. I want him to end up with the best end of any stick.
Poor Severus. I wish she'd run off to Polynesia with him. I hope she's worth it in the end. She has no real idea what he faces here. They are living in the moment when they see each other. He knows more about her than she knows about him. There is so much more to him than there is to Hermione at this point in her life. How old is she, 15 or 16? Well, at least he can have someone pure. I hope she never asks about his other lovers. I don't think she is ready for the answer. I'm not sure I'd be ready for the Centaura. And we know that in his youth he willingly committed rape in this story, though he reqrets it now. I don't know that Hermione could really handle that knowledge. She might be able to handle the idea that he had possibly been forced to do it, but not with certainty that he had ever willingly done it. He's so screwed is she ever finds out all the things he has to do, unless she is a very unusual individual and not very judgemental. I hope for his sake she is as remarkable as he thinks she is.
Hello! I think Draco just passed out! What do you do with this lie. How to explain that 2 men who appeared to absolutely despise one another were lovers on the low down. Would Draco even fall for that? I don't think he has been present at the OP meetings to observed the apparent mutual hatred. Draco doesn't know how much the murrauders stalked and abused poor Severus. Maybe he'll fall fore it. Poor boy wil be manipulated by the Uncle he trustes. That must taste like shit to Severus.
And Hermione can't know about Draco! She would not understand.
Severus Snape is the most adept spie of all the world if he pulls this off. He must feel like he can never get clean from lying regulary to those few who trust him, beastiality, cheeting on his overly homornal girlfriend that he shouldn't be with, but amazingly they actually love each other and trust each other. Now, add buggery in order to manipulate his godson. He must keep Hermione and Draco apart. And what would the dark lord or Albus Dumblebutt have to say about all of this distasteful activity. Dude, when this is all over you are going to need some serious counceling!
OK. What should he do now? I say, let the twirp kiss you so that you can get on his good side and find out his secrets. Hey! It's a dog eat dog world out there right now. Just hope that Hermione doens't find out you cheated on her with 4 Centaras and her worst enemy at the school and all in the same week. It's a fine edge you tread, poor Severus. I actually feel sorry for you.
Lucky in many ways it seems, our Severus. The Dark Lord needed a laugh. Oooooo, let a name slip in there that starts with an H. So who actually rescued the toad in the forest after all? Make up any answer you like. I had assumed it was Albus. But why he would bother is beyond me. Does Severus have to go back to fetch her?
So! Our dear potions master is hung like a stallion! Well of couse he is! Those naughty girls. It's a good thing Hermione doesn't know. And, isn't he terrified of being caught in the act by the stallions while making love to the mares? I'm sure they would kill him. I'm glad he gets some small reward for his hard work protecting Harry. It really is too bad they didn't kill Umbridge. I know Jkr needs her later in the story. I hope she has permanent damage though.
There's no way that will happen under these circumstances. I don't believe it. Girls need a mood or something to get then started.
Don't worry Hermione, dear. After you've been married for more than 3 decades you actually will grow together down there from lack of use. You see, the little man is victim to depression, high blood pressure, diabetes and sundry medications for said infirmities, but eventually this will only spark a sense of resigned bitterness. Dreams though few and far between will be a welcomed relief. So cry no more dear girl and by the gods grab him while you can! Perhaps in your world magic will make these things not so. If that is the case, get over it you silly girl. He must truly be desperate to put up with this. You all must be. I was quite emotional the first 20 years. It was dreadful! Now I am resigned to the fact that what ever you were fighting about the first 2 years are the same things you will be fighting about in 10 years until eventually you just look at him and shake your head. Put up with it or try to train a new one. Here is the most important thing you will ever know. They cannot be trained. Don't waste your time.
I love, "like a raisin through a guinea pig"! I take it you speak from experience based on your picture of Mr. Flibbert, I believe his name was. One of the things that annoyed the hell out of me in the movie version of TGoF was the hormonal Hermione whining and bitching in her high pitched self righteous girl BS. I think she was pissed off just like in this chapter for the entire movie. I realize it is true to life but it is still annoying. I have two drama queens of my own and it doesn't get better when they grow up. I am grateful for grandsons. They are loud and every game requires growling and yelling and running in the house, not to mention accidentally bumping into each other on purpose etc. but I am looking forward to much less drama as when they reach puberty. I look also look forward to Hermione in this story finishing her O.L.W.S. I'm hyper-sensitive from PTSD after raising two daughters.
Here it is 2014 and still no end in sight. Please finish this, it is too good and to frustrating to stop here,
Response from Fawkes_07 (Author of Fair Exchanges)
Sigh... I know. I really would like to finish it someday. Too many projects, not enough time!
You do know that as long as this story sits unfinished, I am going to pop in periodically and bug you, right? Now I am not pressuring you. I know that real life can be a bitch. All I'm saying is that I probably have a good fifty years left in me, and I am going to continue to encourage you until I take my last breath. Oh, but please don't wait that long as I do want to read the end, lol.
Hi Fawkes_07, I have enjoyed this so much! It is of course beautifully written and plotted. I think you've captured all the characters quite well. The sense of humor in this story is wonderful and was a great surprise. Love the interactions between H and Severus, and also between Severus & Draco. I see that it has been some years since you've updated. Please, please don't abandon this story! Happy writing!
Ah, I remember following this story every week. It's a shame RL got in the way and it's gone 3 years-ish without an update. I hope you're doing well and come back to it some day. Thank you for the wonderful half-fic, for what it's worth :)
What the what?? I followed you over from MNFF to see what I'd missed, holy mess!!!! I LOVE this story, it constantly shocks me!!
Response from Fawkes_07 (Author of Fair Exchanges)
LOL, yeah, MNFF had an issue with the human/centaur thing. Glad you're enjoying it... I hope to finish it someday if I ever get my life back.
wow, this story just gets creepier and creepier, in the most interesting and hilarious way possible. this has to be the best story i have ever read on any fanfiction site. u are an awesome writer; i have never laughed this much at a story. i now see why mnff just couldnt bear it, lol, way too many disturbing things. i just got used to the thought of draco being a sex god in other stories, now u make him gay! bwahahaha, talk about a monkeywrench. im sad snape gave that 16-year-old release to the mares. i wished my girl hermione had gotten a piece of that. now that would have been fun to read and write, im sure, hehe. again, u are brilliant!
Response from Fawkes_07 (Author of Fair Exchanges)
<laughs> Wow, glad you're enjoying it! Yeah, MNFF drew the line at the "bestiality" elements (though they don't seem to mind human/werewolf and human/veela). Eh, whatever.Hadn't thought of the 16-year gap ending with the ponies... I guess this is sort of a tragic story, huh?
More Please!?!?!? I so like how this story is going. Love the HG/SS relationship. I so can not wait for more.
Response from Fawkes_07 (Author of Fair Exchanges)
Sigh... I know. I really do intend to finish it, and the funniest stuff is yet to come. You just would not believe the times I've had the past couple years--broken ribs, my mom passed away, a new nonprofit opened in town and begged me to write their grants... I don't even READ fanfic any more, much less write it. But someday things will settle down.
I tried to read this story when I was 16 years of age, back then I could barely read English (not my first language) and I had to consult the dictionary every 3 minutes or so but I do remember little bits of it... This amazing first chapter for example. It's so well written and so true to the characters. It's a pleasure to be able to read it again.
Response from Fawkes_07 (Author of Fair Exchanges)
Wow! That's so cool! I'm glad you liked it well enough to come back to it! Thanks!
Aww, Snape's going to be a father. *snickers*
Response from Fawkes_07 (Author of Fair Exchanges)
Not after he gets that potion ready...
The age of consent in the UK is 16 not to mention the use of the Time-Turner so she's actually almost two years older than her peers. She could've consented before.
Response from Fawkes_07 (Author of Fair Exchanges)
Hmm, I suppose so. But she used the date to such a fine advantage... had to go with it.
You are a wonderful writer, and I always look forward to reading more of your story. This is byfar my favorite Snape/Hermione fanfic ever. I thank you soooo much for updating! I love love love everything about it! Are you though, planning to go canon and kill him off in the end, or will I have to wait and see? You make my week!
Response from Fawkes_07 (Author of Fair Exchanges)
Heh, well, I don't like to give out spoilers but I'll just say I don't consider DH as part of canon. So that may answer your question...
I went back and reread the last chapter to refresh the story in my brain. It has been a damn long time woman! Come back to the potterverse! We miss you. Im all sorts of confused about H's trouble in potions. Whatever could it be?
Response from Fawkes_07 (Author of Fair Exchanges)
Herms was totally upstaged by Harry in potions that year, on account of Harry having the HBP's potion text. She was pretty po'd about that--but she can't tell Snape or that would ruin Harry's surprise. But I think it's funny that she would be in such a good position to blow Harry's scheme out of the water...
ROFLMAO! Oohhhh noooo. Snape, you silly man. I was afraid something like this would happen. Can wizards and centaur breed with each other?! You really do love torturing Snape. It's a fun kind of torture, though.
Response from Fawkes_07 (Author of Fair Exchanges)
*snerk* It IS fun to torture old Sev. Maybe Voldy thinks so too, I dunno.